fact
At the time of writing, taking your dogs for walks could become the law in Germany. Under the planned rules, dog owners will have to take their dogs for walks at least twice a day, for a minimum of one hour in total.
The post appeared first on Crazy Facts.
There are only three certainties in life…
Those things are death, taxes…and DOG MEMES!
Yeah, you heard me right! Dog memes! They’re an essential part of life and, in case you didn’t know it, you need them for your wellbeing.
They’ll make you smile, they’ll give you life, and that mood of yours will go from rotten to ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL almost instantly.
So what do you say? Do you want to check out a fresh batch of great dog memes?
Let’s get started!
Is this happening in your house right now?
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
Get the kids out of the house for a while.
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
They just demand it…
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
The look says it all.
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
And don’t disappoint me!
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
But at least you showed up!
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
Maybe go to Disney World next year?
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
Caught red-handed.
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
And let’s do lunch soon!
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
What a devious dog.
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
I bet they’d like to re-do this one.
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
No way!
Photo Credit: pleated-jeans
How about you?
Do you have any dogs roaming around your house?
If so, please share a photo with us in the comments and introduce us to them!
Thanks!
The post Funny Memes for All the Dog Lovers Out There appeared first on UberFacts.
Bosses like Michael Scott from The Office really do exist out there.
It seems like it would probably be a barrel of laughs, but I have a feeling that if you’re in the thick of a situation like that, it’s likely not very much fun.
Let’s all enjoy these funny stories from AskReddit users about their weird, funny, and annoying bosses.
“My Italian Michael Scott boss has that traditional stubbornness which he’s really allowed to display since it’s a traditional gelato shop and we’re an at-will state (US).
One summer, he fired a kid for ‘not being hygienic and not cleaning well’ when we all knew the boss was uncomfortable this kid was queer.
Next summer, I’m the manager and my then assistant manager and I are both queer women. In the midst of a mild homophobic/heretophobic (?) misunderstanding, we both came out to my boss. At one point before opening he pulls me outside to ask me a “personal question”- if I preferred having s*x with men or women.
I told him women, and I’m a pretty open person and find jokes help break barriers, so I ask him which he prefers. He says women, “of course,” and we walk back inside where my assistant manager is and joke about it with her, and I tell him he’s a lesbian since he prefers women. He finds this f*cking hilarious, and yells out in the shop
“I GUESS I’M A LESBIAN!”
He’s grown more understanding ever since. His questions are sincere, though sometimes badly phrased.
“I had one and these are just a few quick stories
He asked me how much I weighed during my interview
One time he was considering selling the company to a Japanese company and while walking them around the building he was heard saying ‘we really bombed the hell out of you, huh?’
He got on the intercom and interrupted everyone by yelling for someone to bring him the football team’s schedule
I have video of him telling a really cringy joke during a sales meeting. You could see at least one person covering their face in embarrassment
One time he told me to call his assistant and have her bring him a bag of coffee and his 5lb dumbbell
He had a ‘secret’ facelift. He was mysteriously gone for 3 weeks and came back with a beard.
I ended up with a box of pictures from the 70s with an exotic dancer giving him a lap dance. In the conference room. Same furniture.
One time I watched his business partner go down the pot luck line, tasting everything with the same fork. At the end of the line, he stuck his used fork into the cake. I haven’t eaten at a work buffet since.
Honestly, these are just the ones I immediately remember. It was 5 years of this.”
“My brother had two bosses at his first job that I think fit this. It was an old married couple that owned the gym across the street from us. Probably in their 70s when he started working there. The wife was from Germany and super strict, the husband was clearly losing it Some notable mentions are:
•when the husband combined bleach and ammonia to clean the hot tub and sauna room, tear gassing my brother in the process
•wife insisted the street be swept once a week, this was my brothers task. Almost every single time, the husband would come out halfway through with a leaf blower and destroy any progress my brother had made
•husband would regularly sit in the sauna for way too long and have to be rescued by brother and coworkers
•brother opened every Saturday. They never gave him a key so he would have to hop the fence to get in.”
“Yep, I had one.
Organized a thoroughly awkward award ceremony once (that we never did again).
Asked a Mexican employee if his new baby’s name was going to be “No Mas” during the shower we threw for him.
Heard me once use the phrase “economy of scale,” then used it wrong 5 minutes later in a conversation with different people.
Didn’t know the meaning behind “Black Friday” and what it meant for a company to be “in the black.”
Just like Michael Scott, only more of a d*ck.”
“Long ago, my 80 year old boss pulled me into his office
B: “Paul, I’ve noticed that your shirts come untucked and that looks unprofessional”
Me: I’m sorry about that Joel
B: I want you to start tucking your shirts into your underwear
Me: Uhhh…
B: Go ahead and and try it now.
Me: Joel, you know I have 15 women who report to me – I can’t un-do my pants in the office.
B: Sure you can. Drops pants. He is 80 and wearing Spiderman underoos…”
“I worked for a woman as her “personal assistant/ cat sitter”. She was super rich and off the deep end nuts.
She had me order a mannequin online, and then paid me to take one of the mannequin legs to Nordstrom to try and see what suitcase I could buy that would fit the dismembered mannequin body, because she wanted to fly with the mannequin to Pittsburgh to display “as her daughter”, dressed in her daughter’s clothes, at that daughter’s graduation celebration.
Buying the mannequin was a whole thing too. She kept trying to get me to order from “adult doll” websites because she didn’t get it.”
“My boss used to carry around a backpack full of hammers and if you fell sleep at your desk he started banging a hammer on your desk until you woke up and then he would autograph the hammer and give it to you as a gift.”
“Had a manager at my previous job that really, really tried his best to be everyone’s BFF.
He loved giving pep talks and thought he could raise our abysmal morale by being Mr. Positivity (note: morale was low because we were always buried in work and paid sh*t).
He’d crack jokes, randomly burst into song and sneak up behind you to yell “you’re doing a great job!”
Unfortunately, he was also super incompetent at his job. He relied heavily on a junior colleague for help with technical stuff (they practically did his whole job for him), and spent days working on paperwork that should really only take an hour or two.
If you had a problem, his answer was usually either to stare blankly at you until you left or to say “think positive and it’ll work itself out!”
Thing he did I hated the most: whenever people would apply to work at the company, he’d print out the stack of resumes, sit at his desk and read aloud all of the parts he found “funny.”
He’d laugh at people for working at McDonald’s or other fast food places. He loved finding grammar mistakes and making fun of them. If someone had a cringe-y objective statement, he’d guffaw over that too. This was all done loudly, and it was a open office so you couldn’t avoid hearing it.
That definitely lowered morale too.”
“Worked with a genuine Michael Scott: i.e. a nice, well-meaning person who just did some absurd things.
We had kidnapping drills one day, where we learned how to ‘not be kidnapped’. Notably, this was a regular, boring office in a regular, boring suburb. No reason why kidnapping would be on anybody’s radar…
He and several of the guys randomly broke out into a push-up contest. Again. White collar office. Middle-aged dudes in khakis.
Couldn’t remember the nationality of our Hispanic colleague. Tried to “learn Spanish” to make her feel special when she returned from maternity leave. (1) What he learned was NOT Spanish, and (2) she was from Portugal. She knew like, five words of Spanish.
Disappeared for four days. No call. No email. Wouldn’t respond to any of our attempts to reach him. Finally, someone drove out to his house to make sure he was alive. He was. He’d just forgotten to tell us he was taking the week off, and then lost his phone in a lake.
There were many, many moments like these. Great boss. Genuinely cared about everyone in the company. Occasional moments of brilliance, where he really got things done.
But OMG, so many moments of ridiculousness.”
“We had an anonymous feedback program at work, and our boss was livid with the results, particularly with several comments that he frequently lost his temper in meetings and would yell at us.
The more he talked about how incorrect and unfair and hurtful these comments were, the redder and angrier he got, until he finally pounded the table and shouted, “I DO NOT! SCREAM! IN MEETINGS! OKAY?”
“Mine had aspects of Michael Scott but the ones that are sad and pathetic and not funny. A couple examples:
he called an all staff meeting to announce his divorce. He then instructed our receptionist to lie to his soon to be ex wife and deny he was in the office, all the time.
he was just so, so incompetent at his job. If a task was too big or complicated he would just …. Not do it. Wouldn’t ask for help or anything, he’d just move on and leave whatever issue to fester. I would have to constantly monitor and follow up with him to get things done that effected my job
his writing read like he used a thesaurus heavily. Tons of superfluous words clearly put in there to make him sound smart
when he was terminated he kept the corporate laptop and cell phone. After several strongly worded letters requesting their return, he drove back to the office, parked on the edge of the road (think busy rural highway) and made his teenage son carry it all across the yard and parking lot to deliver them
I was eventually tasked by the big bosses to coordinate his termination. They then gave me his job plus my previous one. I can do both within a 40 hr week no problem.”
“I had one for a year and it was awesome!
If he would be in the middle of a story and the phone rang he would literally say “let it go to voicemail”. If a customer called 5 min before closing he’d demand I let it ring and go to VM.
He was late more often than I was. He frequently bought us coffees. He always took our side in customer disputes and if a customer yelled at us or got abusive on the phone, he would call them back and get into an argument with them and tell them to order from someone else.
He straight out told us that if weather conditions were bad he didn’t care how late we were, just that we were safe. Sometimes he would tell me on random days to take a two hour lunch ( I was salary and didn’t punch in or out). He was great! And he gave me so much free stuff.
We used to call him Micheal Scott behind his back!
Unfortunately… the owners were a bit stricter.. Myself and another coworker got fired and said boss got demoted. It was fun while it lasted.”
“I’ve had a few. One would only approve your days off if you played into her ego.
Her boring stories had to be the most fascinating thing you had ever heard. She would come into the office and spin around in a new outfit and we had to pretend it was amazing.
I had to work every weekend for months until I started playing along.”
“I used Michael Scott as a reference point for an old boss of mine from the moment I started working there.
He made Chewbacca noises on the regular because one of my coworkers’ names sort of vaguely sounded like Chewbacca (it didn’t), used voice to text extremely loudly in his office for no reason to send really personal messages, got really excited and wore a specific vest any time we had after-work outings scheduled.
Shouted the same like 7 references to old movies and extremely awkward hip-hop song quotes 100 times a day, and insisted on greeting all our international coworkers very loudly in their language (they all speak perfect English, of course)
Looking around for approval afterward, and then fully giggling at everyone’s French accents on conference calls. He also told me a lot about an improv show he did for a full year after it happened.
That said – he had all the good parts too. He never hesitated go to the mat for any of us whether we deserved it or not, he gave really sage business advice and great examples of how to face challenges out of absolutely nowhere, and he came to every community play I did in the 4 years I worked for him.
And told everyone else in the office how good I was in it for the following month and chastised them for not coming. When things really got serious or bad in my life, he couldn’t have been more kind, helpful, and supportive.
Honestly? Probably the best boss I’ll ever have.”
Have you ever had any ridiculous bosses in your life?
If so, we want to hear your stories!
Tell us all about them in the comments!
The post People Who Had Bosses Like Michael Scott Talk About Their Experiences appeared first on UberFacts.
I don’t think anyone could have predicted the insanity and sadness that the whole world has gone through since March.
And those of us here in the U.S. are still in the thick of it, for reasons that we’re not even going to get into here and now…
But it’s interesting to think about what 2020 would have been like if this health crisis hadn’t taken over the whole world.
What do you think you would’ve done if the pandemic HAD NOT broken out earlier this year?
Let’s take a look at some interesting responses from AskReddit users.
“Would have gone to a taping of American ninja warrior, gone ziplining in Indiana, traveled to Iceland.”
“I just graduated college in May with a degree that relates to business within the entertainment industry.
I had to move back home with my parents in another state just because the jobs weren’t in the city I was in all of the sudden. It really sucks. I’ve applied to what I can just about every day, but the jobs just aren’t there.
I was ready to move on with my life and really be an adult, have a job, get married, have a dog in the backyard, all that jazz, but now it’s on hold while I go back to sharing a bathroom with my siblings like in elementary school.
It really sucks.”
“I would’ve continued working 60+ hours a week at a job I hate, getting paid a pittance, instead of focusing on what makes me happy.
I’ve taken that time to write my first novel. I’m a month away from completing my first draft!”
“I would be working a part time job in a failing weed shop which probably would have been shut down by now.
Instead, I’m now the manager, have fixed nearly 100 issues I inherited from the previous manager, store sales have improved greatly, and I suddenly have a career.
All thanks to the global pandemic.
Yay?”
“I would not be alive.
I was planning to commit suicide.
I would have been dead before the lock down, but when everything shut down I had met someone and I immediately felt comfortable around them, and I was able to vent and release years of bottled up emotions, and she helped me work through things one at a time, which started giving me hope that maybe I’m worth something.”
“Take my Vietnamese girlfriend to Vietnam for two weeks (she hasn’t been there since she was 5 years old) and propose to her. Thanks COVID
P.S I proposed here in the states anyway.
She said yes.”
“I’d be in Norway on vacation this very moment.
I suppose the bright side of COVID is the huge amount of PTO I will have saved by next year…”
“Defended my PhD in person, walked at my graduation, had my family at said graduation, played softball weekly, seen friends, gone camping and hiking with friends, gotten my car fixed, probably would have a different job.
Also, traveled to visit my dad and my bf’s family.
Probably wouldn’t have lost as much weight though.”
“This was supposed to be the year of big (positive) life changes for me.
– I graduated with my MFA in Theater (which would’ve happened in person, and I would’ve gotten to see my family and celebrate with my cohort in person)
– I would’ve been a bridesmaid in one of my best friends’ wedding (I also haven’t seen her in person since 2018 so that would’ve been nice to see her)
– The first full production of one of my plays would have gone up in NYC
– I would have had my own wedding (we got legally married last year, but still haven’t had our “wedding”–now we won’t until probably 2022, at which point it’s more like a vow renewal)
– my husband and I would’ve moved out of this d*mn studio to a place with a bigger kitchen and more space for our kitty to run around (but now we’re stuck here for another year)
– I probably would’ve been able to get a job as a theater administrator or teacher and wouldn’t feel like a useless couch lump
So uhhh yeah, this year can go to hell. I’m ready for 2021, and it better be better than this.
The bar isn’t that high.”
“I most likely would’ve continued to stay overweight, as I had much easier access to eating out and would use school as an excuse to not work out.
With the covid quarantine, the boredom actually led me to work out a lot more, which also led me to eating better, and I am happy to say I’ve lost 14 lbs from when I first started this 3 months ago!”
“My side business wouldn’t have collapsed, but I would still be working 50+ hrs/week in my regular job in my regular office instead of working from home 90% of the time.
So, while it is a financial burden right now, it’s also a blessing in regard to life quality and making the reboot of my side business much easier in (hopefully) 2021.”
“Well, my plans to hike and raft the Grand Canyon, followed by the 4th of July in Las Vegas were cancelled.
Other than that, not much.
I got fatter from working at home.”
“My husband would’ve been able to see our son get born.
He has a cough caused by a stint in his throat that was put in for radiation treatments. He was supposed to get it removed but all non-emergency procedures stopped for a while.
He had the same cough my entire pregnancy and no one noticed it until covid started getting bad. Occasionally he has coughing fits. Makes the people around him uncomfortable and any cough now make nurses raise an eyebrow.
He didn’t want to have a coughing fit at the hospital with me in delivery and the nurses put him out of the room and I deliver by myself.
He sent my mom with me instead.”
“We would’ve been making some money and we would’ve had a nice anniversary.
We were literally two weeks away from catching up on everything when Covid and the shutdowns hit and now we’re set back by over a year.”
“I would have worked a lot more, and instead I would have missed:
-Picking up the guitar for the first time in 6 years
-Starting a twitch channel
-Learning to program (started with some basic C++ stuff)
Honestly I felt more fulfilled without my job, my life is… I guess more stable now that I am working again but I don’t have the time to pour into hobbies and improving myself anymore and it’s become clear time I spend working at my job is not time I am spending fulfilling myself in any meaningful way.”
“I’m 30 and because of Covid I’m more or less broke, unemployed (I got laid off) and both of those things have caused me to move back home. My parents are about as happy about this as I am.
Covid has snatched away my very much enjoyed independence and turned me into a 15 year old again.
Being a teen sucks.”
How have you spent the last several months since the pandemic hit?
Share your stories with us in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!
The post People Share What They Would’ve Done If the Pandemic Hadn’t Happened appeared first on UberFacts.
This year has been a disaster and, for many people, it’s caused them to completely reevaluate their lives.
Which is one positive thing to come out of this awful crisis. People are debating what is really important to them and how they want to live their lives moving forward.
But it’s interesting to consider this question: f this pandemic hadn’t happened, what would you have done the past several months?
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.
“I was scheduled to start my 6 week residential PTSD program in May. It is now closed indefinitely.
Lost my father late April, I imagine I’d still be able to speak with him now if no virus…”
“I would’ve spent my six months exploring Mexico during my gap year actually exploring Mexico rather than every corner of my apartment in Mexico…”
“About the same thing except I would’ve had my mom to joke around with.
Now I joke to myself while her urn sits on a shelf in the living room corner. I would’ve gotten to go through my senior year of high school with her being there by my side in a literal sense.
I would have no money at all, but no amount of money Social Security can give me will ever be worth losing my mom at 17.
I feel awful about those who are younger than me that are going through the same situation as me.”
“I beat cancer last year.
This was supposed to be my f*ck cancer travel year before going back to work. In april I was taking my dad to Iceland with me for a nerd convention.
After that, I was going to take our 4×4 truck and spend 3mo or more on the road. Visiting national parks, museums, sight seeing, camping. I just some west coast in Feb to mid march
I’ve stayed home since mid March.”
“I wouldve hopefully passed my driving test.
I failed it in March and weeks later Covid hit the UK.
Haven’t driven since, im not even sure I remember how to drive.”
“I would have had to work only 40 hours a week instead of the 70 that I have.
The stupid clients assume that since people are at home and under the fear of losing their jobs, we can overwork them to insanity.”
“I would have taken a kick *ss trip to Japan which would have been way outside of my budget!”
“My wife and I are opera singers: this was our big breakout year.
A good number of contracts with very reputable opera houses
that would take us to the next level. We were gonna buy a house…All of our contracts for the next 18 months were canceled and we won’t be singing anytime soon since most companies have closed.
We’ve shifted careers at this point. Or at least are trying to…”
“My partner of 15 years and I decided to get officially married, have a big party and everything, everything supposed to happen October this year. Then COVID hit.
We were bummed for a while but relieved that so far COVID didn’t affect our families. Then we decided to call it off and spend the money on buying a house, that we would do in a near future anyway. We have just signed the papers today! We are so happy.”
“I’m supposed to be taking improv at iO in Chicago. Now the whole theatre is closed.
It’s especially sad because I was finally making adult friends in that class (I graduated college in 2019, so I no longer live near most of my close friends).
We were staying in touch a little bit at the beginning of quarantine but it’s kind of fizzled out.”
“I would’ve gotten a full-time job at my internship after graduating.
But they lost too much money during COVID to justify hiring me.”
“I moved to New York City in February, a few weeks before the lockdowns started. I had a whole binder of things I wanted to see and do and a job I was excited about. But I got laid off as soon as things got started and everything I wanted to do became impossible, and some of it is probably never coming back.
I would have been taking the train to every station, catching impromptu shows, hunting down the best open mics, trying to pin down the best pizza and burger, putting together a d&d group, and traveling to other parts of the north eastern us that I’ve always wanted to see.
I had big plans for this year, and I’m so heartbroken that all I’ve experienced is an endless chorus of sirens.”
“Before covid hit, I accepted a job a cross the country being a rock climbing instructor for a boy scout camp.
I put in my notice, moved in with my BF’s family for the few weeks leading up to moving to the camp. Everything fell through. Lost the old job and the new one never started. Moved out of the house I was renting. Drained my savings in the move and subsequent months.
Now I’ve started IT courses online(realized I love tech, and fixing tech), lost 20lbs, and my bf and I are planning to start living on the road full time(RV life).
Life has never gone the way I planned. Not once, but I’m kind of happy with what I’m aiming for now.”
“Would have kept my job, gotten a raise, a sizeable bonus.
And moved out of my parents house, and ultimately taken my plunge into independence.”
What have the past several months been like for you?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know how you’re doing.
We hope all of you are staying safe and healthy out there!
The post If the Pandemic Never Happened, Here’s What People Would You Have Done the Past Few Months appeared first on UberFacts.
2020 sure has been a crazy year.
And it’s only about halfway over.
Still, for all the horrors, I am confident (or maybe I should say hopeful) that one day, we will be able to look back on a lot of this and laugh. Or we could just do that right now using memes. That sounds more fun than doing all that waiting.
These 15 memes encapsulate 2020 in the perfectly awful way it deserves.
That moment when you realize that you are the snake in your boot.
Via: someecards
Mostly I just looked at memes like this.
Via: someecards
You’ll be a college graduate by 80.
Via: someecards
Seriously it’s not that hard.
Via: someecards
I think when this is all over we should eliminate the number.
Via: someecards
Quit being a show-off with your clean laundry, Sharon.
Via: someecards
Survival is the new sexy.
Via: someecards
The theory of relativity states that this whole year can suck it.
Via: someecards
The old school CRT TV gets me every time.
Via: someecards
It’s a good thing.
Via: someecards
Lie back and wait for the end.
Via: someecards
You still look beautiful to me.
Via: someecards
I was gonna say nobody’s gonna be partying on Halloween this year but this is America, of course we will.
Via: someecards
Behold, my treasures.
Via: someecards
We’re all kind of Spiderman now?
Via: someecards
Now if only we could be looking back on this instead of currently living it. Ah well. Memes will get us through.
What’s your favorite 2020 meme?
Tell us in the comments.
The post Memes That Describe 2020 with Horrifying Accuracy appeared first on UberFacts.
I’ve never had a boss that was like The Office‘s Michael Scott, but I’ve definitely seen some characteristics in a few of them that made me cringe just a little bit.
And maybe if I could put all my past bosses together and pick out the most ridiculous traits of each one I’d be able to create one INCREDIBLY ANNOYING head honcho.
But these kinds of bosses really do exist and they’re out there in charge of employees all over the place!
AskReddit users went on the record with their funny boss stories.
“I had a boss once who spent all morning locked in his office.
He asked me to come in after lunch where he showed me a handmade graph. He then proceeded to explain that this was a chart of all the s*x he had ever had in his life.
“See, here it is blank until I joined the army. Then I went to a hooker here. Then they sent me to Vietnam where hookers only charged $2 per time. That’s where you see the big jump. I was on two tours but then got shot in the face. I came back home and you see how it just drops to almost nothing. ”
I was astounded.”
“My boss is certainly Michael Scott-esque.
When I first started I was essentially Pam as well since I was both receptionist and his assistant to some extent. My favorite story was back when we were prepping for a conference.
Some context, he’s terrible with the English language in general and will mangle phrases and descriptions to no end (how the turn tables…). So on a group call he kept talking about wanting a “golden hamster ball” to do giveaways with.
Was raving about how great it would be spinning around while people walked by, all the while everyone on the call was just sitting in confused silence. However by that point, I had become so good at decoding his nonsense that I knew he was referring to a gold raffle cage and sent him image privately asking if it’s what he was thinking.
To this day he still talks about the fact I can read his mind and must be psychic. And he still refers to it as a hamster ball.
All in all he’s a pretty nice guy and a solid boss. Hired me based on a gut feeling and has been decent to me ever since. I think I knew it would be a good fit when during the interview he tried to tell me about the four pillars of the company and forgot one.
Told me later it was Knowledge.”
“He wanted a pomegranate for lunch and they were out of season, but that didn’t stop him from sending me on a quest to every grocery store in town in search of a pomegranate.
Multiple produce guys laughed at me, but that was the easiest $13/hr I’ve ever made.”
“I had a redhead boss who made us all sit down and watch a training video about how we shouldn’t refer to him as a “ginger” because it is bullying.
No one had ever called him that.”
“Had a boss who was very peculiar. For instance, he’d open a random closet, look at the stuff inside, then go on a tirade, “look at all this! Who bought all this crap?!?!” – “Uh, you did”.
“Oh. Well somebody needs to throw it away!”
Constant stuff like this.”
“I had a boss that used to watch me through a gap in the glass partition between our desks. She wanted to see if I was paying attention during meetings.
One day, I put a large folder to cover the gap and she freaked. I still laugh when I think about it.”
“I once worked for a family company (not my family) where my boss often had loud fights with her husband, mother, and sister (an addict with a penchant for stealing) in the halls. I have a million wonderful stories about that workplace but one that stuck out to me is this:
Once for someone’s birthday, she decided it would be fun to buy an anatomically correct, male blowup doll. She took this doll into the office, blew him up, and dressed him in a construction vest (the company was a contractor).
When I walked by, my boss was trying to manipulate the position of the blowup d*ck, and asked me if I wanted to be the “fluffer”.”
“I had a boss sneak up behind a middle-aged female employee and pick her up, then immediately drop her down saying “I didn’t think you weighed that much!” He could not stop laughing.
He was the principal of the school.
This occurred during passing period in a crowded middle school hallway.”
“My boss insisted his daughters be flower girls in my wedding.
I declined.
At the reception, he told me I was spending too much time talking to one person, and I need to work the room more.”
“He held a meeting with our whole team less one person to discuss said person being gay.
We all knew for well over a year, and never made a deal of it.
So yes, they are out there and that is why the show is so funny to me. I can relate…”
“I literally had a boss who would stop us in the middle of our work and hold company-wide meetings talking about 9/11 truther conspiracies and chemtrails.
Mind you we were furniture-making company.
He would get so caught up in his conspiracy theories that he forgot to order wood to make furniture one month.”
“My first boss in America, I was 21. He was Asian-American. I had never seen the office but noted the absurdity.
He would get free potato chips from a guy in a company truck and would stuff his cheeks in the middle of telling me what to do. He always offered some.
Fired a coworker for screaming some racist stuff at me by just..yanking her out the door.
Called another coworker a cub or a baby lion because she was tiny with wild unruly hair. Would do a small mini roar whenever she was about to report for her shift or when I mentioned her name.
Ran around the place with a wig on his head imitating me.
Brought his daughter to work and give her piggy back rides in the office. Would ask me to take videos.
Would talk to black people in a “black” way. He would say wassup shorty to the ladies and what’s poppin. Called the guys Tyrone and would say shieeeeeet in his most convincing “black” voice. It was actually pretty good.
Would ask me to teach him random Arabic words so he could yell them sporadically in the middle of the day. He always got the accent right.
Had an open door policy and would do shots in his office.
Started a small chicken farm in the back of the building and would give out whole chickens to the staff. Had me and a coworker try to slaughter one one time. I couldn’t and nicked it just a little bit and shrieked, spraying all three of us with blood.
Received a visit from the city people to tell him he couldn’t keep chickens in back. He was rounding the main floor with a small basket of freshly laid eggs just as they were asking for him.
Did the chicken farm again the next summer, this time with a small garden growing squash, cucumber, corn etc to disguise the chicken coop. Happily gave out vegetables along with chicken.
Would be extremely proud of taking home a tray of his own eggs to his children. Ate two fresh eggs every morning.
Bought a wok to work to deep fry sausages in. Sometimes made lunch in the back. The entire floor would smell like food and he would round us all (3 of us) to his office to eat.
Would regularly fall asleep under his desk. The snoring was so loud you could hear it in the front. Once a client asked what that noise was and I said it was the plumbing.
Woke up after his naps looking puffy but acting as if nothing happened. Would immediately go next door for a Cherry coke.
Would constantly eat hard candy to stay awake during the day.
Ate too many edibles at a party I hosted once and passed out.
Told me to hire someone but when he saw the girl did a comical thing with his face, eyebrows raised and eyes big ( think Ken Jeong ) because she was having trouble fitting into her chair. She was a bigger girl.
Took away chairs the next day because they “encouraged us not to concentrate on the client.” The girl was a no call no show the following week.
Had a love hate relationship with a groundhog not long into his farming venture. He never caught the guy.
Once threw a cricket at me from the very opposite end of the office floor. He and another coworker kept such straight faces as I finally convinced myself the cricket flung itself at me. I watched the cameras at the end of the day only to see them do it. I’m still traumatized.
Has an office to this day full of the weirdest collection of things. A few feather from favorite chickens of his that he had since consumed all named and dated, a rabbit paw someone gave him, a goat’s hoof, a framed quote I told him told to me by a very high homeless person.. I don’t remember the rest. It’s just an odd place to go into.
Had a hard time growing a beard and would ask me what I thought of the progress of his “soup taster.”
Nicest boss I’ve ever had. Well meaning if a little racially insensitive all while being fascinated by other people’s cultures. He would buy different cuisines for us to try each week. Gave bonuses because he knew the job didn’t pay much so that was always a nice surprise. He paid my former coworker when she had to stay home all through her husband’s Covid.
Also, he loves llamas, alpacas, baby goats and when I showed him how to use Reddit he would almost always sends me an alpaca photo. I still get a photo now and then.
Also 3 years after leaving he still sends me photos of his illegal farm and recently asked me to post his cucumbers on Reddit.
Also I forgot to add that he fell into poison ivy bush once and didn’t know right away. He ran around screaming until we sat him in his office semi undressed and put medicine on his wounds. He was so miserable for days, it was hard to watch.
He dove head first into the wall when asleep once and needed to go to the doctor and get 3 stitches on his busted lip. He came to work that morning with a huge lip and kept having to explain himself all day.
We kept joking his wife was beating him up. He still insisted on snacking as usual. At one point he sipped ketchup with a straw.”
Did you ever have a boss that reminded you of Michael Scott?
If the answer is YES, then please share your stories with us in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!
The post People Who’ve Had Bosses Like Michael Scott Share What It Was Like appeared first on UberFacts.
When I was starting high school, one of my older sisters sat me down and gave me all kinds of advice about what I should do so I’d have the best experience possible.
Join this club, avoid this type of kid, study hard, etc.
Of course, I didn’t listen to anything she said and I didn’t actually follow any of her advice, but I really, really appreciated her effort.
Hahahaha. Oh well.
But…maybe in hindsight, I should’ve listened to her.
Here’s what wise folks had to say on AskReddit to kids starting high school.
“Enjoy your personal relationships but never let any negative interactions affect you too heavily. That’s way easier said than done but in all honesty you will never see most people you encounter during your HS days again after graduation.
Let the haters hate, you be you. Use this time to learn what you like, explore your options — most importantly try to be yourself without caring what other people think!
Again, that won’t be easy but if you can do it you’ll thank yourself later.
We’re rooting for you.”
“It’s going to feel like the most important time of your life, and the most emotional time of your life.
But, what’s important is finding a balance between grades and friends and work (if you end up working). Some classes will feel pointless, and they are, but remember there is an end and it’s important to try and get through them.
It’s those skills, learning how to study and how to get through things you don’t like, that will serve you better than pretty much anything you actually learn in school.”
“Good friends –real good friends– will push you to be your better self, encourage good habits, and want the best for you.
Anyone who tells you to act against that is an *sshole.
Stay away from them.”
“Forgive yourself when necessary. It’s high school, you’re probably going to do something stupid.
If you have even a remote interest in joining something, try it out, but don’t be ashamed if it ends up not working out and you end up quitting.
Basically it’ll be way easier if you are able to forgive yourself easily.”
“Get involved in some extracurricular activity like tennis or theatre or debate or swimming or something you’re interested in.
You will make friends and it’s really nourishing to be a part of a community.”
“Almost everyone you think is important, cool, or attractive, you will never think about again after you graduate.
I know it’s really hard to do this right now, but try not to care very much about other people’s opinions.
You do you.”
“He/She is (most likely) not “the one”.
That first love will sucker punch your decision making skills, no matter how level headed or mature you are.”
“Pay attention to the way your friends talk about your mutual friends to you. This is exactly the way they speak of you to them.
If you have a secret that you don’t want to get out, don’t tell a single person. No, not even your best friend. Nobody.
If your parents have concerns about someone you’re dating or one of your friends, pay attention and listen to them. They are rarely wrong about this.
Overall, just try to have fun and grow. You will fall into the rut of “this sucks I can’t wait to graduate” but you will miss some of it eventually.”
“Get your work done.
Don’t put it off, don’t make excuses. Get IT DONE. Approximately 86.4% of your grades will be the work you turn in. You can’t get out of it. You can’t lie about it.
And I promise, you’ll feel better having time at home to do what you like, rather than being punished for not doing what you were supposed to do at school.
Be serious about the work, and you’ll find that your teachers will respect you for it.”
“Be yourself.
Joining clubs or extra-curricular activities are great ways to make friends who share your interests.
Keep good hygiene habits. You do not want to be labelled the “smelly kid”.
Keep your grades up, but don’t panic if you don’t have a 4.0 GPA only the most prestigious colleges require someone to have a high GPA. Chances are, your college of choice will not require a 4.0 GPA for admission.
Be nice to people.”
“I don’t think you should get involved with marijuana and drugs in high school. Your brain is still developing and it’s easy to fall into addiction at that age.
It can easily consume your life. But…
If you decide to ignore what I’ve said and you decide to get involved with that sh*t anyway, take half.”
“High school is so romanticized in movies and the media, and although it’s possible to have a great high school experience, don’t try to compare it to the portrayals in movies.
It doesn’t have to be the time of your life, and I don’t think you want it to be. Use high school to get prepared for college, and if you make some friends along the way, even better.”
“If you can handle AP classes, take them.
If you can’t handle AP classes, take dual credit classes.
Apply for every single scholarship that you can qualify for, because once you’re not a graduating senior, they all disappear. My sister and I both had some of the best grades at our school.
Her bachelor’s degree was 3 years, living on campus, for free. Mine was 6 years, living at home, working, paying my way through.”
“Don’t compromise yourself just to be included in a certain group.
Don’t try to force an interest, pretend to be a fan of something you aren’t into, whatever.
Genuine friends will be made naturally.”
Do you have any good advice for the young men and women who are starting high school?
Sound off in the comments and help mold some young minds!
Thanks in advance!
The post People Share Advice They’d Give to Kids Who Are Starting High School appeared first on UberFacts.
Let me tell you, this is a ton of fun!
And we think it might inspire you to be very productive and creative during this never-ending quarantine that we find ourselves in right now.
Aylia Caulwell and her husband Dan have been spending their time recreating iconic scenes from movies and I think it’s safe to say that they’re doing a bang-up job.
Now, this is what I call “time well spent”.
Let’s take a look at some of their creations. Enjoy!
Bill and Ted forever!
Time to defend the house.
Psycho is a masterpiece.
Spot-on!
Just admit it…
Let’s get dirty!
A timeless classic!
I sure hope so!
Have you seen this underrated gem?
All kinds of action about to break loose.
An old classic.
This is good.
I love the homemade axe.
This one is all in the family.
Those are pretty awesome, don’t you think? I told you this was a great way to spend your quarantine!
Now we’d like to hear from you.
In the comments, tell us what you’ve been up to during quarantine and fill us in on how you’ve been spending your time.
We look forward to hearing from you!
The post Recreated Movie Scenes From a Very Creative Couple appeared first on UberFacts.
It’s strange to think back to the beginning of this year, when we were all having little semantic arguments about whether 2020 was technically the start of a new decade or not.
(For the record, I don’t care what the official system is, the decade starts when the third digit changes, that’s just common sense.) Little did we know that a short while later we’d be having arguments about whether 2020 was technically the start of the apocalypse or not.
At least we got some funny tweets out of it?
Thanks, I hate it.
if 2020 were a drink it'd be colonoscopy prep
— rubber ducky loopholer
(@caivonos) June 5, 2020
It has been a year of very mixed feelings for us introverts.
me: i am going crazy and struggling without human interaction
also me anytime someone tries to contact me: pic.twitter.com/aylkGc2M3J
— colleen (@Coll3enG) April 28, 2020
The only vacation I can afford anyway.
Eating tropical Skittles is the closest to a vacation I’ll be on in 2020
— Doug Bies (@dougbies) July 18, 2020
I’m sure our “QUICK OPEN EVERYTHING UP OH F*** CLOSE IT AGAIN” strategy will start working any minute now.
After America opens, and closes, and reopens, and re-closes, and backtracks on all the phases, and eventually reaches phase 23 where I can date recklessly again, it's over for you hoes
— Sara K. Runnels (@omgskr) July 17, 2020
I’m guessing you’re wrong but a man can hope.
Maybe 2020 will turn out to be like a mullet and we’re just in the business part right now but the second half will be all party
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) April 30, 2020
Panic attacks burn a lot of calories too, it turns out.
I was worried about being bored during quarantine but losing your mind is actually very time consuming
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) July 14, 2020
I’ll never take the little things for granted again.
Normal me: I think I'll buy those cute sandals as a treat.
Quarantine me: I'm gonna save this can of creamed corn for special occasion.
— Virginia McMurdo (@VirginiaMcMurdo) March 27, 2020
I found myself thinking the other day “Can’t wait for the Fall so this mask isn’t so hot.”
Ripping off your mask when you get back in the car is the new taking off your bra when you get home
— Maggie Scott (@maggiescott231) May 10, 2020
Just because they were stupid doesn’t mean they weren’t plans.
other people in 2020: COVID sucks, I was supposed to get married and buy a house this summer
me in 2020: COVID sucks, I was supposed to be drunk on a roof this summer
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) July 12, 2020
The gentlest among us have their limits.
Even Bob Ross would be like “let’s paint some happy little trees and set them on fire” right now.
— Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) July 17, 2020
If ya’ll screw me over on this, so help me…
If I get Coronavirus I would be fkn pissed because I literally don’t leave my house or see anyone and I only have like 3 friends who I also avoid.
— Lisa Mila (@milamiarose) July 8, 2020
It sounds like paradise until you can’t leave.
Me, rubs lamp to summon a genie: Hi Genie, I wish I could have more free time to stay at home and just drink, cook, eat, watch tv, masturbate, and just watch Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+ all day
Genie: got you
Me: OH FUCK, NOT LIKE THIS!!!
— insta.single (@insta_single) April 23, 2020
The plot twists in this movie are getting out of control.
Seal that cave back up and walk away!!! This is NOT the year, man. https://t.co/oTNMTVZ8Po
— Kai (@pillxwx) May 30, 2020
Eventually this year will fade away with all its horrors, but we’ll still have these funny tweets. So that’s…something? I guess?
What’s the best and/or worst part about 2020?
Tell us in the comments.
The post Tweets That Sum Up 2020 in a Nutshell appeared first on UberFacts.
#danliainquarantine #billandtedsexcellentadventure #billandted3 #beexcellenttoeachother #partyondudes #stayhome #quarantine #lockdown #wearamask
But the bright side is I did get to take a picture of him in the shower. 
Which is great and all, but have you ever tried arresting the cops who killed Breonna Taylor? #danliainquarantine
A suggestion from @actorpat so you have him to blame for this 
#danliainquarantine #danlia
We weren’t going to do it at first because our Save the Dates were basically this same image, but we used photoshop for that one, so why not give it a try practically! 
#danlia
#danlia