Month: July 2020

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People of the Internet Have No Time for This Beggar, Who Also Wants to Be a Chooser

“Beggars can’t be choosers!”

You’ve surely heard this expression before at some point, which is usually, for some reason, said in a super chipper voice. Like, I’m going to give this to you for FREE so like, DON’T B*TCH about it!

Some people, of course, refuse to learn and abide by society’s rules, even after they get effectively and brilliantly shut down by someone who doesn’t have time for their bullhonky.

Like this person who contacted a crocheter on Instagram about a commission.

Things started badly when he/she gave the person a hard time for taking a vacation and not checking social media, but still, asked what he was looking for in a blanket.

He asked for a blanket made out of expensive fibers in a complicated stitch (of course).

She verified the size (huge) and promised to get back with a price.

Which is when the poop hit the fan, my friends.

He tried the “I can get it here for cheaper!” to no avail. Because fine?

He asked for a price breakdown, which she gave and that was totally reasonable (if you ask me).

She explains again how she reached this number, though if you asked me, she didn’t need to. But he NEEDS IT GUYS.

He tries the sick girlfriend schtick, which also flops, then tries telling her he deserves a friends and family discount bc it “took so long” for her to get back to him.

THEN he tries telling HER what he’s going to pay, which is LESS THAN THE YARN COSTS.

At which point she basically starts laughing in his face.

And totally messing with him for fun (which I 100% support).

Spot on use of Deadpool, y’all. Ryan Reynolds would approve.

He threatens to destroy her business. She doesn’t care.

She doesn’t have a business. She has an actual job and crochets for fun like a normal person who doesn’t put up with crap from random people on the internet.

And ends with an offer that’s double.

This thread is a thing of beauty my friends. It’s just…*chef’s kiss*

Have you ever dealt with someone like this? Did you give them the similar business? I certainly hope so!

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Memes That Bookworms Everywhere Are Going to Love

I’ve always been a reader and with all of the extra time I’ve had on my hands (hahahaha sob) lately, I’ve been able to read more often and really check some titles off my list.

As a reader, I loved all 12 of these memes – and I just know you’re going to, also.

12. You can see why he would feel this way.

Also I can’t help but since “Burn” from Hamilton when I see this.

11. Wait I thought her crazy side was what he liked?

Obviously that Shakespeare class in college really paid off.

10. I have never seen a more perfect visual.

Also I miss Janet.

9. He’s nothing if not dramatic.

It’s part of the job description.

8. It doesn’t take long, does it.

Why does The Office mash up so well with classic literature?

7. Acting cool is hard, okay?

And they obviously had a thing for Hamlet.

6. I mean who hasn’t lost a little time there, though?

Not five hours. I hope.

5. How did Gatsby get all of the girls?

Oh right, the money.

4. It’s hard to believe, isn’t it?

But I mean, the story endures for a reason.

3. Hamlet wasn’t much for self-reflection.

Which is pretty odd, considering all of the other emo tendencies.

2. I would pay to see this update.

Perhaps I’ll write it myself, though besting the Leo and Claire version would be tough.

1. I cannot stop laughing at this.

It’s hilarious and perfection.

Ahhhhh maybe just 5 minutes with my nose in a book, then?

Which of these was your favorite? What are you reading? Tell me in the comments!

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People Talk About What Society Could Be Like With One Small Tweak

So maybe most of these tweaks aren’t exactly small, but some of them are doable!

These 11 memes are pictures of how much society could be advanced if we focused our efforts on one small thing – and I’ve gotta say, I think our lives would be much improved!

11. The same goes for movies and art and academics.

Oh look, I’ve run out of space.

10. There’s always one.

God love the literal people of the world.

9. Maybe not the world.

But I mean, our homes would be a lot more pleasant.

8. Or if people from Canada were called Cadanans.

Or if the country was called Canadia. I can’t stand it!

7. As my dog is snoring next to me, I feel this.

Pets really seem to have it made in the shade.

6. See also: If JK Rowling had never joined Twitter.

In some ways the days of not “knowing” your favorite artist were blissful.

5. Are we sure this is right?

It doesn’t seem right to me.

4. They say practice makes perfect.

Genetics might come into play though.

3. Well I have some good news for you, friend.

Or maybe it’s bad news, as the world doesn’t look like this.

2. Far and away the best one.

People are terrible when they engage in that crap.

1. That definitely seems like an opinion.

And maybe a minority opinion at that.

Let’s all get behind one of these and make it happen, yeah?

Which one would you choose? What would make the biggest impact? Let’s discuss in the comments!

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Movies That Made Us Root for the Bad Guy

A lot of the time when people write movies, they want you to identify with, sympathize with, and root for the hero or heroine of the story. Occasionally the villain of the tale is also the protagonist, but that’s rarer.

What can happen, though, is that villains can be so well-written, or so complex, that we feel for them – and are more interested in – their plight than that of the hero.

Here are 15 movies that have excellent villains – so much so that we found ourselves rooting for them instead of the lead.

15. There’s always somebody worse coming along.

The Monarch in venture brothers.

I love the nuance of the show and the time and patience it’s taken to truly show how terrible Jonas was.

The first few seasons all you hear is rusty complaining and telling an off putting story here or there, but it all comes off as ‘woe is me’ as he sits at the throne of his father’s empire.

But then you realize Rusty was truly, and horribly, abused his entire life, that Jonas is a worse villain than pretty much any of the actual villains, and got away with everything by being a handsome asshole.

14. The older you get, the more sane he becomes.

Mr. Moseby.

I mean seriously. You’re head of a 5 star hotel and all of a sudden some twins screw everything up.

I’m 20 and can already sympathize.

13. Just once he could have won. Don’t you think?

Wiley Coyote.

Dude was starving in the desert and just wanted to eat.

12. Comedy goes a long way in endearing viewers.

Emperor’s New groove.

Yzma and Kronk, they’re entertaining to watch until today.

11. This is a premise for a dissertation.

In Despicable Me, I think the bad guy Gru was better than good guy Gru, although I have some mixed feelings about it

Sure good guy Gru was lovely to their adoptive girls and started to enjoy the world more and more (which I think was positive, and he was still a villain after all), but the evil Gru that didn’t give a shit about others and just wanted to steal the moon was a bit funnier.

10. It’s just in his nature.

There’s just something about Predator that keeps me interested.

9. A legend will do that do you.

As much as I love Clarice Sterling in Silence Of The Lambs, Hannibal Lecter is still the best character in the whole movie despite only have 16 minutes of screen time.

Sir Anthony Hopkins was so legendary he only needed 16 minutes to put his character in the minds of every viewer. The fact that Jodie foster kept up and did brilliant acting too makes it even better. Winning the best actor actress and movie was fully deserved

8. He’s definitely sympathetic, even if his methods are whack.

The Rock.

Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery and Ed Harris.

Harris assumes control of Alcatraz prison (a now tourist destination) and uses it as a missile launch site to threaten the US government for ransom. On the surface he looks like a bad guy, so Cage and Connery have to go stop him.

Later in the movie it’s revealed that he only wants the reparations his dead men and their families are entitled to. He doesn’t hurt any prisoners and though he’s given the opportunity (when the government declines) he admits he was never going to actually use the weapon.

The movie is well written and the characters have depth enough to garner empathy for even the villain.

7. He’s a very intimidating animated villain.

Kung Fu Panda 2. I like cold calculating villains who don’t need to be ultra strong or puppet masters to prove that they’re a real threat. Shen was really interesting because he was smart in his strategy, and especially when he tries to stop his fate, but everything he does only seals it.

6. When they’re searching for justice, you want them to win.

I rooted for Gerard Butlers character Clyde Sheldon in Law Abiding Citizen.

Same here…I was so pissed when Jamie Foxx’s character won, mainly because it was his character that denied Gerard Butler’s character the proper justice for his family’s death through the legal means in the first place.

So many people died simply because Jamie Foxx’s character cared more about his case “win” percentage than actually getting justice for his client. In my mind, Jamie Foxx’s character will always be the true bad guy in Law Abiding Citizen.

5. It’s hard to contradict this argument.

The Bee Movie

Ken was the only sane person

4. He makes too much sense to be wrong.

Heat. De Niro > Pacino “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.”

3. When you really understand a person, they can’t be all bad.

Rumplestiltsken in Once Upon a Time. Even before his redemption arc, he was just so much more entertaining for me than any of the good guys.

2. It all depends on your age upon viewing.

Dr. Houseman in Dirty Dancing.

The man works his ass off so he can take his family on a nice, long vacation. The Doc is a very lenient parent. Giving his teenage daughters all kinds of leeway and freedom to do whatever they want. When Baby asks for $300 (which is a large sum of money back in 1962), her dad gives her the money with barely any hesitation, because he trusts her.

Baby gives that money to one of the dancers so she can get an abortion, it’s botched, and who saves the day? Oh, right, Dr. fucking Houseman of course. He makes one comment about that being where his money went and then gets to work saving the woman’s life.

And Baby’s punishment for taking $300 from her father under false pretenses? She can’t do her dance routine for other vacationers. That’s. It. She has to sit with her parents for a couple of hours. Literally the most lenient punishment imaginable under those circumstances.

But of course Patrick Swayze comes in and is like NoBoDy pUtS BaBy iN a CoRnEr!

Eff you Patrick Swayze’s character. Baby deserves to be in that corner.

1. Wait they’re not the villains?

High school musical. Troy and Gabriela are a**holes.

Sharpay is an honest and hard working person. She does some mean things, but she always atones for them in the end. Troy and Gabriella? A**holes who never experience consequences for their actions and get everything they want handed to them.

I agree with most of these, and I’m a girl who loves a good anti-hero.

Who is your favorite villain? Tell us what makes you want to root for him or her in the comments!

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Experiences That Everyone Has Had at Least Once in Their Lives

There are experiences only some people will have because of privilege (or lack thereof) or culture, and there are some experiences only some people will have because of their life choices.

There are some things that human beings experience, though, that are 100% universal (or like 99.99%, if you want to be technically accurate, I suppose), and if you haven’t experienced these 19 things in your life, I promise, you probably will some day.

19. This one kills me.

Because you know it, and sometimes you’ll spend the money anyway.

18. Spoiler alert: they almost always are.

But if they’re not, you might have just saved yourself from being murdered!

17. Hey, as long as you’ve been happy.

Scream the wrong lyrics if you want to.

16. You can’t see them, but you know they’re there.

How they got there, of course, remains a mystery.

15. Good thing we live in a world where we’ve got doctors for that.

And surgeries and glasses and contacts for that, too.

14. The best part is no one TELLS you to smile.

But if you want to, they’ll see it in your eyes!

13. If you’re funny, you’re funny.

Laughter is good for the soul and all of that.

12. Every. Single. Time.

And you argue with yourself while you turn back to check.

11. The best and also the worst.

Because yeah, you’ll definitely be disoriented.

10. It takes focus not to accidentally injure yourself.

Or there’s something way weirder going on, idk I’m not a doctor.

9. How do you know you’re ready otherwise?

Or that the tongs are ready? This is important.

8. None of us would survive in the twenty years ago.

You have to wait for your things AND there was no way to track them.

7. Sonic ice is the best ice.

I will not be taking arguments.

6. It’s the most satisfying thing I can imagine.

Most days. That I can do with my kids at home.

5. We don’t know WHY but we did.

Was it about copying? Not being first or last? Weigh in!

4. And you have that panicked smile on your face.

So many worries.

3. I feel personally called out by this meme.

*sits up straighter* *for now*

2. They’re like transformers.

Or maybe it really is a ghost. You should probably check.

1. The worst is when it’s like 10 minutes before your alarm.

Ugh not enough time for more sleep.

Definitely all of them for me, but I’m already (gulp) middle-aged.

What about you? Would you quibble? Tell us which ones you haven’t experienced (yet) in the comments!

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These 14 People Tried to Sell Some Crazy Stuff Online

If you’ve spent any time on places like Facebook Marketplace, eBay, Craigslist, or really anywhere people basically use the internet as a virtual garage sale, there’s no doubt that you’ve probably seen some weird stuff.

I mean, I know what’s in my basement, so it seems to follow that everyone’s got a bunch of crap they think they might be able to pawn off on someone else some day, but is it true?

The jury is out, but I think we can say for sure that absolutely no one needs what these 14 people are selling.

14. If the kid’s face wasn’t enough…

…it’s also not super cold.

Not super cold from CrackheadCraigslist

13. One fish tank, but you have to take the murderers, too.

Do with Kevin and Neil what you will.

Oh, Kevin from CrackheadCraigslist

12. Do you think the problem ever hit her?

Maybe she’s just afraid of people with foot fetishes online. That’s a thing.

Those are lovely sandals. from CrackheadCraigslist

11. I have so many questions.

Like, why does this exist? Why would I need this? Why is it so much money?

Image Credit: Reddit

10. That is a box, sir.

It might also cover a guitar, but facts are facts.

Only used once, not a bad deal from CrackheadCraigslist

9. Well that just tells you everything you need to know.

I’m on my way.

Nice ass lamp from CrackheadCraigslist

8. Whoever wrote this has a future.

Perhaps as a snake oil salesman, but a future nonetheless.

Image Credit: Reddit

7. I wonder how much she charges for other kinds of skin.

Come on, you know you were thinking it.

Teddy… from CrackheadCraigslist

6. You can keep in the background of your Zoom calls.

Or maybe in the background of your Tinder picture!

(box only) from CrackheadCraigslist

5. Maybe a language barrier?

I have no idea what’s going on here.

Couch. from CrackheadCraigslist

4. That thing has to be expired.

And sorry, but no way it works.

Tiger king condom from CrackheadCraigslist

3. If the heads swapped out, maybe…

But it’s still a strange thing to buy used.

Ah yes, who wouldn’t want to buy a used toothbrush? from CrackheadCraigslist

2. If those are “small marks” then I am a small person.

That price made me laugh.

"Some small marks but barely visible" from CrackheadCraigslist

1. He’s got some oceanfront property in AZ, too.

I’m going to need to see proof that it’s his to sell.

Jupiter good condition from CrackheadCraigslist

 

What on earth is the matter with people, y’all?

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever sold? Bought? Seen online? I need details in the comments!

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Can You Solve These 6 Riddles?

Riddles can kind of seem to be a dime a dozen. So when you find some that are “famous” or well-known, that means they’ve endured – and there’s almost always a reason for that!

If you want to try your hand at some riddles that have stood the test of time, give these 6 a few minutes of your time!

6. Children and math.

5. That had better be a really nice shirt.

4. Blind but now I see.

3. All of the F’s.

2. All of the legs.

1. How many handshakes?

Continue reading to check your answers!

Are you ready?

You sure?

Really sure?

Let’s go!

6. Mr. Jones has two children. The older child is a girl. What is the probability that both children are girls?

5. A boy saw a shirt for $97 but does not have enough cash. So he borrowed $50 from his mom and another $50 from his dad.

He bought the shirt, and got back $3 as change. He gave his dad $1 and his mom $1 and kept the other $1 for himself.

Now mom and dad paid $50 each and got back $1 each. So they paid $49 each, totaling $98. The boy has another $1, adding up to $99. Where is the missing dollar?

4. There is a house. One enters it blind and leaves it seeing. What is it?

3. Count the number of F’s in the sentence. Count them only once. Do not go back and count them again.

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

2. It walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon and three legs at night. What is it?

1. There was a small get-together. There were a total of 28 handshakes exchanged between the guests. How many guests were present?

Thanks for playing along!

If you solved them all and had fun, come back again for more content like this!

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This is Why Lefties Are Sometimes Called “Southpaws”

Left-handed people are very interesting. Why are there so few of them? Why are they so proud of something they randomly inherited?

We may not be able to answer all of those questions today, but if you’re curious about why they’re called “southpaws,” we may have something for you.

The term has been around since the 1800s, and comes courtesy of baseball players and boxes who swung from the left. In an 1813 letter to the editor in The Tickler, perhaps the first recorded instance, it seems to be linked to boxing specifically.

An 1848 political cartoon uses it as a term for someone striking a blow with their left hand, and applies it to a Democratic contender for president, the caption reading “Curse the old hoss wot a south paw he has given me!”

In 1860, the boxing references returned, with the New York Herald reporting that lefty David Woods “planted his ‘south paw’ under his opponents chin, laying him out flat as a pancake.”

In baseball, the term began to apply to any left-handed player, but especially a pitcher, in the 1800s. In those early stadiums, home plate was built facing the west, which meant a left-handed pitcher would be throwing with his “south” paw.

Not every stadium was built this way, but since Chicago’s West Side Park was, theories are that early sports writers popularized the term, which caught on.

Another theory (for my fellow Latin nerds), is that in ancient Rome, bad omens came from the left. The word for left in Latin is sinistra, which is where we derive the English word “sinister,” and is one reason left-handed people have been thought to be devilish in the past.

It could be as simple as someone re-equating south and left and then bad and left, though I’m not sure how many Latin scholars and baseball fans intersected at the time.

There you go – now you know one more fun thing about lefties!

Go forth and share the theories with your friends (and make sure to point out the Latin one, just for fun!)

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Funny Memes That We Think Will Simply Delight You

Want to be absolutely delighted?

If you just nodded your head, then you are in for quite a treat! Because these memes are damn funny. That’s right, I said DAMN funny.

And we think you will agree wholeheartedly with that assessment once you start in on this meme-age journey.

So sit back, crack open a brewski or a soda, kick your feet up and enjoy yourself!

1. You know it!

That’ll never stop! Yeah!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

2. Kermit doesn’t seem to care…

He ain’t scared!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

3. Time to complain to the manager.

What started out as a cute experiment turned into…this…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

4. Where’s the demon?!?!

Admit it…you do this…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

5. The joke of the year?

It’s not bad at all…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

6. Who needs sleep?

You’ll catch up on it at some point.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

7. Bet you didn’t see that coming!

It hurts to get burned.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

8. This needs to be a PSA.

Everyone…take note.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

9. They are epic yawners.

It’s in their DNA.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

10. Just listen to this guy.

And ignore that sound.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. That didn’t last very long.

Time to find a new partner.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

12. You did it!

Nice work, bro!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

13. It’s a disaster in there.

It’s not fit for humans!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

14. This mom needs a break.

Make it stop!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

Think those are funny? Now we’d like to hear from YOU.

In the comments, tell us a funny joke, share a funny meme, just do something to make us laugh!

Please and thank you!

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Hilarious Memes to Turn That Frown Upside Down

What the heck is that?

I’m talking about that thing on your face…

Are you…FROWNING?

Well, we can’t have any more of that, now can we?

We’re going to fix this situation right this instant with some funny memes that we know are going to make you happy.

Hey, it’s what we do, okay? So just trust us…

You will start smiling in 3…2…1…GO!

Enjoy!

1. That dog is a CHAMPION.

And don’t you ever forget it!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

2. Zing! I see what you did there!

Lab results…very good.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

3. It’s working. Trust me.

Don’t you think so?

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

4. Lenny…we need to talk.

You need to lay off the fast food, buddy.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

5. What did you just say to me?

And why the hell did you wake me?!?!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

6. Oh yes, you can!

Everyone needs a pair of these.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

7. That didn’t go very well…

But try again next week and see what happens.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

8. This is a nightmare.

But we just gotta ride it out.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

9. Hey, let’s hang out!

I love making new friends.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

10. Let’s just see what happened.

Just wait it out…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. It’s gonna be a very long day.

Isn’t that the worst?

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

12. Don’t come near me.

That’s a death stare.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

13. Are you sure about that?

Sounds a little fishy to me.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

Have you seen anything lately that really tickled your funny bone?

If so, show it to us in the comments. Come on, don’t keep it all to yourself!

Thanks in advance!

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