Good morning! Afternoon? Thursday?…Huh?

Honestly, I’m having a hard time telling what day it is anymore, good thing I’ve got all these tweets to keep me company.

No matter what’s happening in the world, Twitter soldiers on, creating things for us to laugh at and wish we’d thought of them first.

Enjoy this round up of a few random funny tweets, and forget your troubles for a while.

10. Isolate in style

I gotta play this uno in a mink coat with some champagne https://t.co/za2ikARjeJ

— Freckle Face Bandit (@Marquis__Young) January 11, 2020

9. If anything I’m sweating more now

*air horn sound*
*second air horn sound*
Me: "This isn't deodorant."

— ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) January 27, 2016

8. A catastrophic date

[first date]

DATE: I think cat people are psychopaths

ME: *slowly pushes date's coffee off table*

— POOPSCRUFFIN4U (@POOPSCRUFFIN4U) June 15, 2015

7. Just bear with him a moment

You can’t put a bear on a state flag and then act surprised when it shows up for a town hall meeting https://t.co/fr0cvcvG2g

— Dragana (@draganakaurin) July 19, 2019

6. But are they getting buff?

My kids act like best friends.

Best friends who draw “tattoos” on each other. And fight. And tell on each other to gain favor with me.

Prison inmates. My kids act like prison inmates.

— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) January 21, 2020

5. He’s like a soothing roller coaster

That moment when Bob Ross adds a bold new tree trunk right down the middle of a perfect painting and you let out an audible "NOOOOOOOOO" but then he somehow makes it even more perfect.

— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) January 9, 2020

4. It’s a killer holiday

Worst Friday the 13th ever. Someone stole the baby Jason from our nativity set.

— Brother Ben (@SentenceReduced) March 13, 2020

3. It needs my help

“What’s that?”

“It’s a therapy cat.”

“It looks like a chihuahua.”

“That’s why the therapy.”

— Jimmer Cork-Bottle (@JimmerThatisAll) July 26, 2019

2. It’s the least they could do right now

Please sign my online petition to get Netflix to change “are you still watching” to “looking good nice pajamas”

— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) March 23, 2020

1. Good boys in the outfield

PITCHER: *throws a ball*
UMPIRE: Ball four. Walk!
AUDIENCE (who are dogs): *goes apeshit*

— Swim Jeans (@ShortSleeveSuit) April 14, 2018

There, that passed some time. How long? 3 minutes? 10? October? We may never know.

Who’s your favorite twitter person right now?

Tell us who to follow in the comments.

The post Tweets to Make You Laugh Today, Tomorrow, and the Next Day appeared first on UberFacts.

A great thing about Tumblr is when users get going on one fan theory or another. They run the gamut but they’re always thought-provoking (no matter how out there), and this one about how Darth Vader is a drama queen extraordinaire is pretty fun to read.

It starts with a comment on how Vader purposely does things only for dramatic effect. No other reason.

And how he’s willing to actually die to create the perfect dramatic moment.

Then they point out that the man LIVES on the planet where he lost the majority of his LIMBS. I ever really thought about that!

Then there’s this moment, which…you can’t really argue with their logic.

The whole thing concludes with the irrefutable (at this point) point that the one thing left of Anakin is his dramatic flair.

That just feels like a fact, honestly.

Is there any counterpoint? Counterarguments? If you can come up with any, please leave them in the comments so we can discuss!

The post Tumblr Thread on Why Darth Vader Is the Ultimate Drama King Should Cheer You Up appeared first on UberFacts.

Facebook Marketplace is a little bit like being able to garage sale shop from the comfort of your couch.

That said, there are of course downsides…like having to deal with the kind of people who are looking for cheap stuff/good deals/used items online.

And I don’t know…these 9 people may have decided it’s not worth it after meeting these totally special folks.

9. Someone is having a bad day.

8. I’m sorry, what?

7. I don’t even know how you have the gall to ask this in the first place.

6. I mean, he tried being nice and helpful first.

5. Yeah, definitely going to hand over my foster kids to a stranger on the internet.

4. So much for beggars not being choosers.

3. This got real strange real fast.

2. “No, it’s red.”

1. I’m not actually sure I’d want a free couch, tbh.

I’m not at a point in my life where I could handled this extra stress, which is why my basement is still piled with baby stuff. Maybe some day.

Do you sell things online? Do you find a lot of people like these? Share your stories in the comments!

The post People Who Stumbled Across Completely Self-Absorbed Weirdoes appeared first on UberFacts.

Sometimes, people online go way too far in the pursuit of public shaming. Most of the time, keeping personal things personal is the way to go.

That said, some people are so egregiously bad at being human, their stories must be shared. Otherwise, no one will believe they exist.

Here are 10 examples of people so terrible they deserve to be followed through the virtual streets while the SHAME bell rings.

10. And that’s what you get for trying to be nice and helpful.

9. That went from NTA to YTA realllllll quick.

8. Stories can just change so fast!

7. Is this…from a real adult?

6. Except they’re there for, you know. Disabled people.

5. Talk about a waste of time.

4. Sooooo petty. Lol.

3. Definitely more guts than smarts.

2. I wouldn’t hold your breath.

1. That escalated quickly.

I don’t even know what to do with these people. How can you even have a conversation?

What’s your craziest story in dealing with with people like this? I’m dying to hear more!

Let me know in the comments!

The post These Entitled Jerks Deserve to Be Publicly Shamed appeared first on UberFacts.

There’s a lot of entitlement in the world these days. So, it takes quite a bit of that kind of attitude to make people really sit down and take notice – like, so much of it is just expected background noise now.

These 11 people deserve to be called out, because in a world too full of entitled jerks, they’ve risen to the top.

Not like cream. Like sludge.

11. A new car will save a dying person pass it on.

10. I mean, we all want to live in a world where donuts are free. But that’s not how this works?

9. She had time to write this ridiculously long text, though?

8. What is even happening here?

7. “No questions asked” what kind of shady crap is that?

6. I think this person is confused about the difference between a loan and a gift.

5. That smiley-face emoji is everything.

4. Maybe control your kids? Just a thought.

3. Shoot for the moon I guess.

2. Bahahaha anything else?

1. I hope they have some really good friends.

I’m going to start saving some of these comebacks for the next time I inevitably run across a person like this. Probably in Facebook Marketplace.

Have you run into someone like this? How did you handle it? I want to hear about it in the comments!

The post These 11 Entitled Jerks Are Really Pushing It appeared first on UberFacts.

Living with other human beings can be very difficult. This goes for absolutely everyone – family, roommates, husbands, kids – because when people stop being polite (because you can’t 24/7) and start being real, sometimes the results are hard to take.

One of the more common complaints among cohabitating people is that food in the fridge becomes common property.

After this guy’s roommate continued to “steal” food, even after he’d clearly marked it, he decided it was time to take action.

The roommate, for what it’s worth, had no idea how to adult – he didn’t grocery shop, he didn’t cook, he didn’t clean – and he stole his roommates prepared food instead.

As everyone who plans meals or has to take lunch to work can tell you, there’s little more frustrating that realizing at the last minute that your planned meal has disappeared.

After the roommate was asked to stop and didn’t (he may have even escalated), the poster here decided to take his revenge – in the form of a habanero chocolate cake and wasabi frosting.

He labeled with his name, and waited.

Literally everyone agrees – he gave the guy fair warning, labeled his food, and this still happened.

There are more stories, like this guy who put ghost pepper sauce on his leftover pizza.

And this girl who found a way to stop people stealing her milk in college.

They also pointed out that he wasn’t even lying.

Like me, they also realized what they should have said several days later.

Because the right words never show up when you want them to. Argggggh!!!

That said, I doubt this dude will be pilfering food that doesn’t include all of the ingredients any time soon!

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

The post A Guy Got the Ultimate Revenge on His Food-Stealing Roommate appeared first on UberFacts.

People on Tumblr do many things well, but really, they all center around their ability to take a post – any post – and run with it in unexpected and thoughtful (and funny) ways.

I’ve never seen a Tumblr thread write a story before, but it doesn’t surprise me that it’s happened…or that it’s really quite good.

It all begins with a group of pirates who kill a mermaid for her treasure…only to find out that her treasure is a baby mermaid.

They can’t kill it, so they adopt it, and grow to love her.

She protects the ship, and when they tell her how they ended up adopting her, she accepts their story.

In time, she learns the truth, and she forgives them.

She fends off storms and beasts.

She leads them into battle.

She becomes a figurehead, again and again.

Until the seas fear her father’s ship.

And then, it’s over. Her parents are old; dying.

They say goodbye, and ask her to take care of the ship.

She agrees…and a new captain arrives.

Who doesn’t understand, not really.

Not until it’s too late.

I love this story, and the take on pirates and mermaids!

How about you? What would you add? Wouldn’t it be fun to keep going?

The post Take a Look at This Pirate Mermaid Story Written by Tumblr Users appeared first on UberFacts.