Month: September 2019

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11 Tweets from Women That You Might Find Hilarious

We need some funny, NOW.

Work sucks. Life sucks. The world is going to hell.

What else do you have in your life right now except a little bit of funny? Is that too much to ask?

No, of course not! And leave up to the ladies to deliver time and time and time again!

11 of the funniest tweets coming at ya!

1. That political horse race… neigh?

2. Who doesn’t see texts? I mean, come on…

3. I hate 2019. Really, really a lot.

4. That skin cream game is real, fam!

5. Oh the fun we’ve had!

6. I’ve got the same list for my dad! Weird!

7. “I’d like to not sleep with you any longer, unless you’re okay with me sleeping with everybody. Your choice.”

8. True dat. Those nieces and nephews getting WAY too much attention…

9. OMFG… those receipts are the stuff of legend!

10. Yes. Yes I am. You nailed it.

11. I’ve tried this and it works PERFECTLY

That was fun! Which one did you like the best? Let us know in the comments!

And while you’re here, why not trying out some other posts? It’ll only take a few minutes, and you’ll laugh your ass off.

Guaranteed or your time back!

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Here’s a Simple Trick Can Help You Choose Correctly Between “Who” and “Whom”

Like most people, I struggle with this conundrum. But if you’re someone who likes to sound smart and use proper grammar like an educated person and all of that, you might want to be able to use ‘whom’ when it’s appropriate.

But when is that, exactly? Well, we’re both about to learn, using this simple trick.

It’s a mnemonic device – the idea is you just mentally exchange the ‘who’ or ‘whom’ in the sentence with he or him. If he makes the sentence correct, then you use ‘who,’ but if him fits the bill, you should go with ‘whom’ (if the situation is formal enough to warrant it).

The device works because ‘who’ and ‘he’ are both subjective pronouns, meaning you use them to refer to the subject of the sentence, while ‘whom’ and ‘him’ are objective pronouns, meaning they refer to the object of the sentence.

It works even better if you rephrase the questions as statements.

For example: “Whom will you invite to dinner?” is correct, and you can figure this out by switching the question to a statement and using ‘you’ as the subject. “You will invite him to dinner,” not “You will invite he to dinner.”

Also, the trick isn’t sexist – she and her, and they and them also work – but he and him sound similar to who and whom, which makes things easier on your brain.

And let’s be honest, when it comes to using proper grammar, anything you can do to make it easier is a benefit, if you ask me.

Are you going to use this trick? Do you even care whether you ever use whom?

I think this is so easy I might actually start trying it!

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An Extremely Rare Two-Headed Baby Turtle Was Found on a South Carolina Beach

This sure is a strange sighting.

If you’re reading that headline and thinking to yourself “there’s no way a two-headed turtle could be anything other than weird,” well, this little turtle would like you to hold its beer.

I mean, if it drank beer and it was of age to imbibe, I mean.

Because even though the hatchling has two heads, it’s as cute as a button.

Posted by Jayme Davidson Lopko on Wednesday, August 28, 2019

The little guy (guys?) was spotted and filmed by the Sea Turtle Patrol on Hilton Head Island. They were checking out a loggerhead turtle nest, when the strange hatchling caught their eye.

Cause, duh.

They gave him two names – Squirt and Crush (of Nemo fame) – and documented his (their?) existence before setting him free to make his way to the sea.

Posted by Jayme Davidson Lopko on Wednesday, August 28, 2019

The baby was struggle to crawl with its oddly shaped shell, but since the group doesn’t collect turtles, but merely observes and monitors the populations, the scientists didn’t keep it (them?).

Posted by Jayme Davidson Lopko on Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Sadly, the survival rate even for healthy hatchlings is pretty low – only 1 in 1,000 green sea turtles survives to adulthood – so Squirt and Crash are definitely facing an uphill battle.

Sea Turtle Patrol wrote about the find on Facebook.

We often find many strange things when we inventory sea turtle nests. Yesterday I found this twin two-headed hatchling….

Posted by Jayme Davidson Lopko on Wednesday, August 28, 2019

“Sea Turtle Patrol follows rules set by the State Department of Natural Resources which calls for us to protect the nests and turtles but to also allow as natural a process as possible. We do not take hatchlings off the beach to raise or rehabilitate. This little guy is on his own just like his brothers and sisters that came from the nest and like they have been doing for millions of years. Good luck and safe travels special guy!”

Posted by Jayme Davidson Lopko on Wednesday, August 28, 2019

It’s super cool that we get to see something like this exist, even if it’s just for a moment, but it would be so hard to just let him go, knowing things probably won’t turn out well.

Would you be able to do it? I guess some people are just conservationists at heart!

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8 Musicians Who Really Don’t like Their Greatest Song

I’ve been at concerts and wondered whether artists die a little inside as they’re forced to perform their biggest hit night after night, even after they’ve grown and matured and moved on as a creator in the intervening years.

I mean…it’s probably hard for Billy Joel to hate Piano Man, since it’s still literally paying dividends, but he’s got to be tired of singing it, right?

Well, it turns out I’m not wrong – these 8 musicians would be thrilled to never hear or sing their greatest hit ever again.

8. Radiohead (Creep)

Thom Yorke called the song “crap” and still refuses to sing it regularly in live performances, while guitarist Jonny Greenwood says he tries to sabotage it when they do trot it out by “hitting the guitar hard – really hard.”

When one fan yelled out requesting it at a Montreal show, Yorke replied, “F*ck off, we’re tired of it.”

So there you go.

7. Flock of Seagulls (I Ran So Far Away)

Frontman Mike Score said on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of the 80s that he loathes the song, and performing it.

“Every time I perform live, everyone just wants to hear ‘I Ran.’ I’m sick of it.”

6. Led Zeppelin (Stairway to Heaven)

Robert Plant pledged to donate to an Oregon radio station that refused to play the song, one he refers to as “that bloody wedding song.” The group even avoided a reunion simply because he’d had it with playing that particular song.

“I’d break out in hives if I had to sing that song in every show,” he said in 1988. And when the band played a concert in 2008, he demanded it not be the finale, and also for guitarist Jimmy Page to “restrain himself from turning the song into an even more epic solo-filled noodle.”

I can’t help but giggle a bit at that one.

5. John Cougar Mellencamp (Jack & Diane)

In a 2008 interview, Mellencamp admitted he was “a little weary of those two,” but he does recognize that the song made his career.

“I’ve been able to live on my whims, that’s what Jack and Diane gave me. So I can’t hate them too much.”

4. Madonna (Like a Virgin)

In a 2008 interview, Madonna admitted “I’m not sure I can sing ‘Holiday’ or ‘Like a Virgin’ ever again. I just can’t, unless somebody paid me, like, $30 million or something.”

Just a year later, she said that just hearing the song by happenstance rubs her the wrong way. “For some reason people think that when you go to a restaurant or you are going shopping that you want to hear one of your own songs. It’s usually ‘Like a Virgin,’ and that is the one I don’t want to hear.”

3. Oasis (Wonderwall)

Liam Gallagher praised Oasis’ final album for lacking anything akin to the huge hit, telling MTV “I can’t f*cking stand that f*cking song! Every time I have to sing it I want to gag. You go to America, and they’re like: ‘Are you Mr. Wonderwall?’ You want to chin someone.”

2. Beastie Boys (Fight For Your Right)

They’ve said directly that the song “sucks” (in the liner notes for their 1999 greatest hits album) and dislike it largely because of a lost sense of its intended irony.

“The only thing that upsets me,” says Mike D, “is that we may have reinforced certain values of some people in our audience when our own values were actually totally different.”

1. REM (Shiny Happy People)

The 1991 hit isn’t near and dear to lead singer Michael Stipe’s heart – he said in 1995 “I hate that song,” and even though he’s tempered that statement since, still maintains that it has “limited appeal” and that the entire band agreed to leave it off their Greatest Hits album.

 

You don’t want to bite the hand that feeds you, but as an artist, I can see how it’s hard to be forced to keep looking back when all you want is to move forward. I know that the first novels I wrote feel like practice tests, now!

Do you think it’s selfish and dumb to hate your “best song?” Let us know in the comments!

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A Starbucks Worker Passed Away Because He Couldn’t Afford Kidney Dialysis

To the people out there who continue to argue with their heart and soul that the United States has the best health care on Earth, maybe you should read this story.

Oh, and, you’re wrong.

Most of us know the American health care system is pretty bad for a large segment of the population, but it’s stories like this that really drive the point home.

James Farmer was an employee at Starbucks who tragically passed away on August 11 due to kidney failure. Farmer was only 22 years old, and his story has gone viral because it highlights the failure of the American health care system to protect its citizens in many cases. James Farmer was unable to take off work to have his dialysis treatments because he couldn’t afford to miss out on any paychecks because, like many Americans, he lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

Posted by James Farmer on Thursday, August 23, 2018

A writer named Allison Robicelli was friends with Farmer, and she shared his sad story on Twitter to shed light on a situation that untold numberas of hourly and low-wage workers across the country have to deal with. Robicelli included the #ChickenSandwich hashtag in her tweet to reference the hoopla surrounding the Popeye’s chicken sandwich and how people should refocus their thoughts and priorities on things that literally amount to life and death.

Robicelli wrote, “The people who serve you coffee and sandwiches, the people who barely get by because a living wage ‘isn’t in the best interest of shareholders,’ the people who so many believe don’t deserve to be paid fairly: they are people.”

For the record, Starbucks says that it offers its baristas healthcare coverage if they work an average of at least 20 hours per week. All Starbucks employees also get one hour of paid time off for sick days for every 30 hours worked.

A sad story and one that will hopefully inspire those in high places in business and government to make a change.

A GoFundMe page to pay for Farmer’s funeral expenses already exceeded its goal, but you can still donate to honor James Farmer’s memory.

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15 People Share What Celebrities They Think Would Be Outed as Serial Killers

First off, I think this would be a great movie. Secondly, who do you think you would pick if you were posed with this question:

“If the headline “Celebrity outed as serial killer” appeared, who would you expect it to be about?

AskReddit users offered up their opinions. I can’t wait to dig into these!

Share your thoughts in the comments!

1. Prime suspect

“It almost pains me to say this because he is one of if not the best actors in the world, but Daniel Day-Lewis. The man protects his privacy extremely well. Doesn’t do a lot of movies (retired now) and stays as clean as possible. He is the prime guy.”

2. No way!

“Bill Murray.

“No one will ever believe you.”

turns to walk away

“You’ll never have the chance to tell them.”

3. Not a good legacy

“I hope that Tom Hanks dies peacefully in his sleep at a grand old age, with an untarnished history and nothing but funny stories about colleagues and strangers he helped and made happy.

And then they go to clear out the basement of his mansion and just find hundreds and hundreds of human heads in various states of decay.”

4. Say it ain’t so

“Carrot Top.”

5. A killer trifecta

“The first names that popped in my head were Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Jim Carrey.”

6. A disturbed dick…

“Andy Dick… the dude is f*cking disturbed. Oh… he’s also a dick.”

7. I hope not. One of my favorite directors…

“David Fincher. Between Se7en, Zodiac, Mindhunter, and the rest of his entire filmography, he really seems fascinated with compelling serial killers, sociopaths, and psychopaths. The performances of these characters are always unique, captivating, and unnerving.

They have an air of authenticity to them. Fincher makes some great films, and I’m not seriously suggesting the dude’s a serial killer, but he’s probably the only famous person I can think of where, upon being revealed as a serial killer, a common first reaction would be, “…Yeah okay, that explains a lot.”

8. Might not be a stretch?

“Quentin Tarantino… just cause.”

9. It’s all in the eyes

“The Olsen twins. They got some menacing eyes.”

10. I think you’re right on the money

“There’s a distinct lack of female celebrities on this list. I definitely think Tilda Swinton could murder us all one day.”

11. Insane if he wants to

“Nic Cage. Have you seen the memes about the Ghost Rider movies having zero CGI and that it was all him? He can be insane if he wants to.”

12. A true villain

“Elon Musk is one face scar away from being a James Bond villain.”

13. Good old Woody

“Woody Allen. Anyone who marries their wife’s adopted young daughter is seriously creepy.”

14. Look at the track record

“Brad Pitt. If a man can leave both Angelina Jolie AND Jennifer Anniston he’s capable of anything.”

15. Can’t put my finger on it…

“Definitely Katy Perry. Something is off about her.”

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The Reason Why Fresh-Cut Grass Smells so Nice Is Actually Kind of Dark

Those of us who grew up in suburbia probably have a lot of positive associations with the smell of fresh-cut grass. It’s summer, we’re playing outside, our dads are home on the weekends – maybe all of the above. Even now, catching a whiff may cause us to stop, take a deep breath, and smile.

But what if I told you the smell is the result of thousands of blades of grass in distress, working fervently to heal themselves without rot setting in before it’s too late.

Yeah. Makes you think about that whole vegan thing, doesn’t it?

It turns out that when leafy green plants are harmed, they release organic compounds known as green leaf volatiles that help form new cells that heal wounds faster, prevent bacterial infection and fungal growth (sort of like plant antibiotics), and produce compounds that prevent further damage.

They also can serve as distress signals, which some believe leads to questions about a form of language meant to warn others about potential harm.

While some of these emissions help oxygenate the atmosphere, others could pollute the air by contributing to photochemical smog in urban areas – really, the jury is out on that.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take this as one more reason to stop mowing the lawn and just let my “bee garden” take over naturally.

My neighbors can object until they’re blue in the face; I have SCIENCE on my side.

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The Deadly Incident at Lake Nyos Is One of History’s Most Bizarre Unknown Natural Disasters

Have you ever heard of this story before?

Lake Nyos in Cameroon is a crater lake – the water there poured in after an incredibly explosive volcanic eruption forged the large divot. It appears innocuous and silent, and even though the view is spectacular, the lake could be easily overlooked.

If you know its eerie history, though, you’ll definitely spend some time contemplating its calm surface.

On August 21, 1986, thousands of cattle and 1746 people living near the lake died within moments of each other.

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On August 21, 1986, a rare natural disaster occurred in the West African country of Cameroon. A large cloud of carbon dioxide gas spewed from Lake Nyos and blanketed nearby villages, killing 1,746 people and 3,500 livestock while they slept. .. News of the tragedy took a few days to reach international newspapers, with the first reports appearing in North American papers around the 24th. (Independent Record, 08.25.1986). . . . . . @independentrecord #cameroon #lakenyos #historybuff #historylover #historygeek #historynerd #historylesson #oldnewspaper #newspaper #newspapers #newspaperclipping #newspaperarticle #historicalnewspapers #doyouremember #otd #onthisday #thisdayinhistory #todayinhistory

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When the bodies were discovered, authorities discovered no signs of physical damage or distress.

Though the locals were ready to blame vengeful spirits or the government testing chemicals, geologists quickly uncovered the real killer: carbon dioxide.

When water from the lake was captured in vials, it popped the lids off the sample jars. It was packed with the colorless, odorless gas, and scientists concluded in their official report that the lake had released a sudden and large amount of the gas. Denser than air, it rolled over fields and down slopes toward the local villages, smothering everything breathing in its path.

The lake sits above a system of still-active volcanos, and since carbon dioxide is a common feature of magmatic systems, the fact that it bubbled up into the water isn’t a surprise. Typically, though, the gas simply leaks out of the water slowly and harms no one – people wouldn’t even be aware of it.

At Lake Nyos, though, the huge amount of very still water ensured that pressure remained high enough to keep the gas dissolved in the water. It hosted a defined layer of CO2 that accumulated for several centuries, undisturbed by any kind of current or waves, until each gallon of water had collected an astonishing 5 gallons of carbon dioxide dissolved inside it.

Obviously, that is unsustainable.

There’s some debate as to what triggered the massive release of the gas. It may have been a landslide that fell into the CO2 layer, or a sudden release of fresh CO2 into the water, but, either way, it was like breaking the seal on an over-carbonated bottle of soda.

Water would have shot up and out in a geyser hundreds of meters tall, expelling 1.2 cubic kilometers of CO2 in a mist that blanketed villages as far as 15.5 miles away. The lake turned from blue to red, a result of the iron at the bottom floating toward the top after the massive disruption.

Entire villages perished – there were only 800 survivors in the area, most of whom suffered symptoms of CO2 poisoning.

Authorities installed a degassing system in the lake, as well as a solar-powered warning system, in the hopes that there will never be another mass asphyxiation event like this in the future.

Lake Kivu, straddling the border between Congo and Rwanda, is 2000x bigger than Lake Nyos, and is full of Co2 as well as methane. With 2 million people living within killing range of either gas, scientists have pointed out that similar precautions should be taken there, as well.

Efforts to extract the methane to be used as an energy source, or to explore it for potential oil deposits, have been met with words of caution from scientists.

Here’s hoping the governments listen, or another silent, mass annihilation could be on the horizon.

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