Month: June 2018

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Here Are The Most Popular Jobs Among Psychopaths

You might need this knowledge for yourself one day…but hopefully not while you’re looking in the mirror.

This list was compiled by British psychologist and author Kevin Dutton for his book, The Wisdom of Psychopaths.

#10. Civil Servant

Photo Credit: NBC

Psychopaths want power and control, which is given out to those serving the public. They can also be good in a crisis, since they don’t take people’s feelings into account while executing their job.

#9. Surgeon

Photo Credit: ABC

Surgeons have to make fast decisions that may be morally difficult for the non-psychopath, and they have to remain calm in intense situations.

#8. Chef

Photo Credit: Fox

Psychopaths are resistant to stress and thrive in chaos – two qualities that go hand-in-hand with crazy kitchens and long work weeks common in the restaurant business.

#7. Salesperson

Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox

According to this book, having a psychopath on your sales team can lead to a marked increase. They’re confident, charming, and manipulative – plus they thrive in competitive environments.

#6. Clergy

Photo Credit: NBC

Sad, but true….being a member of the clergy not only gives a person a certain amount of power, but it gives you access to information that could be used for blackmail or manipulation purposes.

#5. Media

Photo Credit: MGM

Psychopaths have no trouble being calm in front of an audience, and their ability to charm and believe in themselves plays an important role in career advancement.

#4. Police Officers

Photo Credit: Huffington Post

Again with the position of authority and power – policemen who work in extra dangerous areas are likely to be psychopaths. They take pleasure in being around bad situations and can remain calm while doing so.

Statistics also show that 40% of police families endure domestic violence – 2x more often than other families.

#3. Lawyer

Photo Credit: Lakeshore Entertainment

A successful lawyer is able to lie, hide their true feelings, and ignore their conscience – a perfect job for a psychopath.

#2. Journalist

Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox

Seeing your name in print is good for feeding one’s ego, and it’s a job where a competitive drive will get you far.

#1. CEO

Photo Credit: Paramount Pictures

Psychopaths are so good with stress that they often prefer operating in chaos since it makes them look better and more powerful in the eyes of others. Studies claim that up to 20% of CEO’s in large companies show a strong inclination.

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7 Surprising Benefits of Walking

We should know by now that the simple act of walking can have many health benefits – mental and physical – but here are 7 benefits that you might not have been aware of until now.

If so, the knowledge will definitely get you up and moving!

#7. It can increase vitamin D levels

Photo Credit: Brightside

Vitamin D is connected with brittle bones, fractures, and difficulty in walking – but walking 15-30 minutes a day in the sun can help you get enough to avoid these common health issues.

#6. It can help reduce your blood pressure

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40 minutes of daily walking can reduce blood pressure in individuals with hypertension – 3 to 5 points.

#5. It increases creativity

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It turns out creative types who like to take walks for inspiration aren’t crazy – this study found that creativity levels rise for a short time during and immediately after a walk.

#4. It can reduce instances of breast cancer in women

Photo Credit: Brightside

7 hours of walking per week reduces the risk of breast cancer in post-menopausal women by up to 14% – if you walk more than that, your chances drop by up to 25%.

#3. It can boost your immune system

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A moderately-paced 30-45 minute walk every day can help protect your body from common colds.

#2. It reduces your risk of contracting diabetes

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Just 3,000-7,500 steps per day can help treat and/or prevent type 2 diabetes.

#1. It slows the aging process

Photo Credit: Brightside

Walking is one of the most effective ways to avoid losing mobility as you age – it also keeps your skin tighter and can even reverse the aging process (and help avoid dementia!).

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A Random Cat Made This Guy a Dad and He’s so Not Mad About It

Some days, social media is a dumpster fire. Other days, it gives you stories like this one, in which Paris Zarcilla finds a strange (read: not his) cat that has given birth under his bed.

Photo Credit: Twitter

So, like any normal human, he promptly adjusted his expectations of the day.

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And possibly his life.

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Fatherhood is life-changing, after all.

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This would be the best day of anyone’s life, right?

Photo Credit: Twitter

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Updates: Paris realizes he may not be a dad forever. Tear.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

But life brings both ups and downs….luckily, for Paris, he’s still on the up.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

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Fingers crossed these little beauties have found their forever home!

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These 12 People Confess an Explosive Secret They Will Never Reveal

Secrets have a funny way of coming out, but for these 12 people, they say they would never bring themselves to tell the truth – not even to the person who the secret was about!

#12. Proper ladies

“When my mom was a teenager, my grandma slapped her over something stupid. My mom then slammed my grandmas head into a mirror, and they basically got into a fistfight. They both look at themselves (and each other) as very “proper” ladies, and would be horrified if they found out I knew.”

#11. Bro code

“Grandfather loves his PC, browsing the internet, reading bible posts, news, etc.
A wise man at times and someone who I have a lot of respect for and enjoy his company, but I’ll be damned if every virus he’s gotten is something pornography related. Just rolling through the history though, its all pinup style images of actresses/celebrities. Classy stuff honestly. I just always clean up the computer viruses and delete his history.”

#10. No good deed

“I found out that my grandpa was paying the mortgage on my aunt’s house for about 4 years, up until she passed away. My cousins don’t know that he was paying for them to live there rent free, and they didn’t treat him very well. It’s not really something worth telling them about, but they’re incredibly entitled and rotten people.”

#9. The mild-mannered maid

“My brother has used the same cleaning lady for the past 15 years. She insisted that she was an Austrian expat, but about 10 years ago she was invited to our family’s 4th of July party. She’s around mine and his age and stuck around to drink a bit with us after “the adults” had left. She confessed to me when she was drunk on schnapps that she’d actually been born in East Germany, her dad was in the Stasi, and her mother ran him over with the family Trabant. With the uproar in the family there and the political situation she moved here when she was about 10 or 11 with some family already in the States. Totally surreal to hear from a mild mannered European maid. I am not sure if she remembers telling me that but it’s been a decade and I haven’t said anything to anyone.”

#8. Different dads

“One of my friends has 2 brothers, one younger, one older. His older brother is from a man his mother cheated on his father with. His dad stuck around through it and raised him as his own even though he knew. My friend has no idea. I would never tell him. His mom and my mom were best friends, we used to hang out practically since birth.”

#7. Parent traps

“I know several of my friends are the results of affairs.

Growing up as an only child. Often playing alone whilst adults talk. They forget you are there. Seriously, I know more than I should about even my own parents.”

#6. All in the family

“When my mother passed away (I was 15) I was given a book of her poetry she had written for my father when they were married. All of the poems had little extra notes at the front of them explaining what the poem was about.

One poem was about my dad, my mom, and his first wife all having sexy times in a tent while camping. There were a few more poems about their times together. My dad left his first wife at some point after these encounters and married my mom shortly after.

I never told my dad, and he passed away long ago now. His first wife I see regularly at family holidays since her son’s are my half brothers. I’ve never told her either.”

#5. Scat

“My first boyfriend in high school apparently had a scat fetish, but he never asked me to help him satisfy it or mentioned anything to me about it. One morning when I had slept over his house the night before, I woke up before him and went to go use my laptop, but it was dead and I had forgotten to bring my charger, so I went on his computer instead for a little bit. I was looking through some pictures of us that he had in a folder on the computer, and then I randomly clicked on a folder that was just named “fs” (no idea what that name was supposed to mean). In this folder were several video files with names that made it clear that they were scat porn. I didn’t watch any of them and never told him I had found them, and like I said, he never mentioned his fetish to me either.”

#4. Pokemon love

“I once borrowed my older cousin’s laptop, when I was maybe 13 or so. Opened it up and BAM Pokemon porn. Pokemon porn everywhere… and lots and lots of hentai.

I never told him I saw it. However, he’s always dated somewhat bigger girls and everytime I see him with his gf I can’t help thinking he’s dating her partially because she’s got hentai boobs.”

#3. The awful truth

“My dad is the result of rape.

The story we were always told was that my grandfather’s buddy knocked up his teenage sweetheart when they were stationed in Germany when he had a wife back home, so my grandparents decided to adopt him.

When I moved to Europe I decided to go looking for my dad’s family. I found them pretty easily, but my bio grandmother didn’t want anything to do with me. My two uncles wanted to meet me though, and were very pleased to do so.

While talking to my uncle when we were out drinking I mentioned understanding why his mother might not want to meet the child of her teenage mistake but still being bummed out about it. He demanded I explain the what I had been told about his mother. He was completely floored that it had been framed as her mistake at sixteen, and that’s when he told me the truth: My grandfather had raped her when she was twelve and she had given birth to my father at thirteen. He was drunk and an Army MP when it happened, and then coerced her into giving up the baby to him and his wife. Nothing was ever done about the rape.

I was completely horrified, especially as someone who had been sexually assaulted as a child. He wasn’t a warm and cuddly granddad type, but I would’ve never suspected he could’ve done that to a child. My father wasn’t father of the year by any means, but I don’t know how he would deal with it, so I don’t intend to ever tell him.”

#2. Guilt trip

“My mom had a really, really big issue with me being a lesbian. It was the worst when I was a teen and she’s totally over it now (thank goodness), but it was rough.

I remember sitting with her in the kitchen one day and she’s screaming at me over it, which was pretty rare for her. She goes on and on about how she loves her friends “but I would never want to sleep with them!” And I was like, “Yeah, because you’re straight…?” And she got very flustered and continued on her tirade, basically centered around me acting on my attraction, not having my attraction.

Well, I was discussing this nearly a decade later with my dad and he goes, “I mean that kind of makes sense, considering what happened with Sarah when they were in school.” Cue tires screeching in my brain. Sarah was killed in a car accident the summer before my mom’s senior year of college. They were going to be sharing a room in a suite with two other girls, were best friends, etc.

My dad said you would have thought she’d been widowed. She even forewent living with my dad to live with Sarah and he had had suspicions that something was going on with them, but mostly stayed out of it.

So I questioned him further and he confirmed my suspicions (which I’d had since I was young and totally confused about my mom’s over-the-top reaction to me being gay): she definitely had a crush on her friend Sarah and her dying left a scar on my mom that basically made her think that her feelings were wrong/responsible for the death/bad luck/I don’t know what. Not to mention, it was probably completely unresolved and so she was just left to wonder about what could have been.”

#1. A secret collection

“I was at a friend’s house and I needed a towel. Found a drawer where she was storing a bunch of different dildos. I’d never seen so many, so much variety. There were like 20.

She never talked about sex, and had never had a partner. It has been 15 years, we’re still friends. I’ve never brought it up and never will unless she tells me she collects dildos.”

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12 People Reveal the Strangest Paranormal Experience They’ve Ever Had

Some people believe in ghosts. Others claim they couldn’t possibly exist. And some don’t really seem to know what to think.

No matter where you fall on the scale of skepticism, there’s no doubt these 12 people’s stories will give you something to think about while you’re trying to fall asleep tonight.

#12. Close encounters

“My husband, parents and I were camping in the Missouri Ozarks. It was fall, around 10:30 at night and we were sitting around the campfire. A white ball of light ~ basketball sized ~ appeared suddenly in the distance off to our right. It traveled extremely fast along the ground through the trees and stopped in my husbands lap. It moved across him, me, my mom and dad over about 10 seconds before it sped off to our left over the horizon and was gone. There was no sound, no airplane noise, or cars around. We were by ourselves on about 200 acres of forest. My dad walked a ways in the direction it went but said he couldn’t see anything. Years later, I’m still scratching my head over what it was.”

#11. Still can’t explain it

“I may as well comment but unsure whether it’s paranormal.

Was about 13 years old, common for my mom to leave and spend the night at her friends house after a night out (split parents) and this was one of those night. She left, locked doors, put sister to bed (she was about 8-9) and proceeded to stay up until I fell asleep around 11 or 12.

Woke up to banging coming from the shed outside. From my bedroom window I can see out the back and peeked through the blinds. I assumed the sound was my golden retriever digging by the shed or something, but I peeked out and could see the dog standing still, staring towards the shed. Now this made me scared because I couldn’t see the shed from my window. I texted Mum to see if she had come home to no reply. Eventually I muster up the courage to get out of bed and look out the living room window at the shed (which had stopped banging). I was less nervous now because I assumed it was a possum that had got stuck in the shed through the window but had since got out. The weird part is when I ventured to the front of the house, where the front door was wide open along with the front windows and living room light was on. I know for a fact I had turned the lights off and locked the door. I then proceed to grab a knife and check on my sister while turning every light on in the house while searching for an intruder. Was scared shitless.

Can’t explain to this day.”

#10. Help from grandma

“My grandmother died when I was in Kindergarten but when I was little I remembered she would put wet washcloths on my cousins foreheads when they were teenagers and wouldn’t get out of bed. We used to all get a laugh out of it. One time in college I had an exam at 7:00 am and I am notorious for sleeping late on accident. Anyway the morning of my exam my alarm didn’t go off but I feel a really cold wet feeling on my forehead, like a wash cloth. It immediately woke me up and I saw my grandmother standing over me telling me I needed to get up and out of bed. I looked at my alarm and it was *6:45. I still made it to the exam.”

#9. Family visits

“I was 4 or 5 and had a dream about this guy with a hole in his throat in my bedroom. He told me not to be scared and I told him I wasn’t. He said he just wanted to ask questions about the family, how everyone was doing and I told him, then I woke up.

I told my grandmother about the dream and she turned white. Got out a photo album. I saw his picture and went “That’s him! But why did he have a hole in his throat?”

It was my great grandfather who died two years before I was born. He had had a tracheotomy due to throat cancer.”

#8. Sliding doors

“I was home alone. Around the age of 16 and I had a dog. She is super super calm and only barked when something scared her. She was upstairs barking like crazy. Naturally I got scared. So I got out of the washroom, left the light on and the door open, walked up stairs to my dog and saw she was barking at nothing. Still a little spooked I grabbed a metal base ball bat that I had in my room. After grabbing it I go back to my dog and she just stares at me. Very intensely and quickly she looks at the stairs. When she does that I hear very loud footsteps from the floor below. I slowly and quietly make my way down the stairs but I pause about half way down. While walking I immediately noticed the bathroom door, that I left open, was closed.

The light was also off. Because of the style of door knob, I could also tell that the door was locked. This door also could be unlocked of a key incase of emergency (elderly grandparents used to live with us). I grabbed the key and unlocked the door. Nobody. Not a surprise though. Almost immediately after opening the door I hear very loud and aggressive footsteps now coming from upstairs. I decide to go back upstairs to the room my dog was in (my sisters room) and check on her. When I get back up there I decide its probably the best time to nope the fuck out of there. But I didn’t. The room that my dog is in has the lights on door closed and door locked. Good thing I know how to pick locks because we lost the key to that room years ago. So yea there was no one in there but fuck some ghost fucking locked some doors in my house.”

#7. Sleeping issues

“As a kid I always had trouble sleeping. Even in kindergarten I would never nap during the day, and the teachers would separate me from the other kids during nap time, as I kept them awake.

Even in the middle of the night, I would wake up, and I just couldn’t go back to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. As I started to grow older, I just accepted it, so I just would end up watching TV until the rest of the house woke up.

Around 1st or 2nd grade, I remember I woke up one night and my mom was just sitting on the floor beside my bed, resting her back on my nightstand. I remember asking her why she was there, and she told me that she was keeping an eye on me cause I was sick, and then told me to go back to sleep. So I went back to sleep.

This went on for about a week, until one day I decided to question her about it. She said that she had no idea about what I was talking about, and that she never stood by my bed all this time.

That night, I woke up again, sure enough, my “mom” was there comforting me and telling me to go back to sleep. I told her that she wasn’t real, but she kept insisting that she was. So I just tried to touch her, and that’s when she disappeared.

She started to appear less and less, and she would go away when I tried to touch her. After a while, it got to a point that when I woke up in the middle of the night, I would just swat the air near my nightstand and then go back to sleep without even opening my eyes. And then “she” went away and never appeared again.

I think about it often and I have no explanation for this. It definitely sounds like something that would happen to a schizophrenic, but I am a fully functioning adult, with no mental health issues with a steady income, and currently working on getting my masters degree.

I have not gotten any sort of hallucinations ever since this incident, but I still have trouble sleeping. I never sleep during the day, as it disorients me, and when it becomes nighttime, I basically don’t lay down until I am so tired that I just pass out as soon as my head touches the pillow.”

 #6. Hard to keep the help

“Geez, where to start…

I lived in a three bedroom apartment with some roommates while I was stationed in Gaeta, Italy (Navy). There was a poltergeist that haunted all three floors that we named “Calvin”. Calvin liked to take things only to return them later, rattle dishes, throw people off of the couch, etc. One day I came home after standing the 4 AM to 8 AM watch and I was really tired. Calvin had been quiet for a while, but that day decided to start rattling plates in the kitchen just as I was starting to doze off. I just ignored him and tried to go to sleep and would have if he hadn’t walked across the bed -I could feel the mattress indent as he moved.

One day a friend was over at the apartment cleaning it while we were out to sea. She was washing the windows and had left the living room to get some clean water. When she came back it looked like someone had breathed on the glass to fog it over and the word “Calvin” was written on the fog. Needless to say she didn’t come back to the apartment.”

#5. Let me in

“My parents lived in a old house to awaken to a knocking on the window, when my dad pulled the curtain aside there was a thing. He was asking my dad to let him inside. He describes the thing as a human form but no facial features.

To top it off they had a friend staying with them later, the same thing was knocking and scratching on his window pleading to be let in.

Needless to say he wasnt let in. They left soon after that.”

#4. Scary Santa

“I was once at my grandmother’s for Christmas when I was about 11 or so. It was Christmas eve and I was sharing a room with my father, him being fast asleep and snoring on the bed opposite me. Throughout that age I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep, I was always a massive insomniac, and with my dad snoring away was basically just being kept wide awake.

At some point, long after everyone in the house had fallen asleep, while I was still wide awake, I was jolted into the most intense state of fear I think I have ever experienced.

From the three foot space behind me that separated my bed from the door, I shit you not, the most intensely gravelly and hoarse voice I’ve ever heard fucking announced to the room; “I’m Santa.”

It scraped through me and I just fucking froze. There was no transition between the before, during or after it spoke, as there would be from “waking up”, so I am still convinced that I had not somehow fallen asleep. I literally just lay there in complete terror, facing my dad as he continued to snore and refusing to turn around. I lay like that for ages, sweating buckets upon buckets into my bed sheets, and I guess eventually passed out. Woke up Christmas morning afraid and terrified, with a very clear memory of it all.”

#3. It even scared the dog

“A voice spooked the fuck out of me when I was 17.

Backstory, I was in what Americans would call high-school I guess (Finland, different system) in another town. I’d come home to my parents for the summers.

So, being 17 and having older friends, they were usually out at bars with my older brother so I couldn’t really join. But it was all good, my brother had a killer pc at the time and I just loved Borderlands. So, I spent the nights playing that, accompanied only by my dog who would sleep calmly on my bed behind me.

So, headset on, I was playing NG+ and was ready to go to Sledge as I feel a breath in my neck and hear a very audible whisper saying “What do you want?”

I freeze, afraid to turn. I gather my courage and take the headphones off and turn sharply ready to react to anyone who might be behind me.

But all I see is my dog, shivering and trembling, looking scared af with his tail between his legs. No bark, nothing, which was odd since he is a Jack Russell.

Still don’t know what it was. But it did fuck me up for a while.”

#2. Every theatre has its ghosts

“I work in this old ass theatre that was built as a vaudeville house in about 1900. I don’t even believe in ghosts but this damn place is haunted. Every theatre has its ghost, I know; I think they come free with the rigging setup. But those are out of tradition, and something to blame for whatever you misplaced. This place is different tho. Some parts were built on later, and those parts aren’t as bad. Nothing weird goes on in the scene shop or the offices. But the equipment stored under the stage moves, you always feel watched in the lighting booth, and once the fucker turned the light off on me when I was minding my own business in the bathroom of an original dressing room. I watched the switch flip. That little shit.

Edit: yes, I still don’t really believe in ghosts. But that almost did it.”

#1. This old house

“My house is old and constantly has weird things happen in it. One night my ex and I were fast asleep when someone or something banged on our bedroom door. I know it really happened because we both woke up. I quickly grabbed my gun out of my nightstand and flung the door open within like 5 seconds of this happening and no one was there. I ran throughout the entire house with my chest pounding fully expecting to find an intruder. All I found was my dogs asleep on the kitchen floor. They bark at everything and are very good guard dogs meaning that they heard nothing. I still cannot explain how this happened.”

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15 People Share the Quotes They Live Their Lives By

If you’re looking for some inspiration (or just some good old-fashioned humor) check out these 15 quotes people use to steer their lives.

#15. What you have not

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

#14. What have you got to lose?

“if you don’t ask, the answer is always no”

#13. Whole-ass

“I don’t fear the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks. I fear the man who has practiced one kick, ten thousand times.

-Bruce Lee

Or, if you prefer a more modern version

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

-Nick Offerman”

#12. Cook the steak

“You don’t win friends with salad.”

#11. Arm yourself

“It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.” – Chinese Proverb”

#10. A water bill

“The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.”

#9. Never normal

“one that ive always gone by is “Normal is an illusion. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.” – Morticia Addams.”

#8. Drink, instead

“Don’t worry about things you can’t change.”

#7. Practice makes perfect

“It doesn’t get better, you just get better at it.”

Really gives me a solid foundation.”

#6. Why you’re built

“A ship is safe in a harbor, but that‘s not what ships are built for”

#5. Wisdom from ancient Rome

“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.

-Marcus Aurelius”

#4. Selling something

“Life is pain, whoever says different is selling something.”

#3. Good people

“Another one is

“Good people plant trees in which they will never sit in the shade of” or something to that effect.

I like to think it means that you should always consider the long term effects of what you’re doing and be less selfish.”

#2. The first time

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” — Maya Angelou”

#1. The one you feed

“An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, & truth.” The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.” -Author Unknown”

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15 People Regale Us with the Dumbest Questions They Were Ever Asked at Work

People ask dumb questions – I don’t care what the old adage says. And it seems as if some professions (largely in the arena of customer service) seem to lend themselves to more than the average.

These 15 people, however, really take the cake.

#15. That darn faulty wireless

“Long time ago now…
Got a call that a user’s laptop was dead and wouldn’t power on.
I go and check it out. Press the button, no life. Plug it into the power, it starts charging. Press the button, it boots just fine.
The user wasn’t plugging the laptop into power because she “thought we had wireless”

#14. That’s not how any of this works

“I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I informed her that she couldn’t withdraw money, because her account was overdrawn. She was immediately upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn’t expecting any payments. She was spending money she knew she didn’t have.

She then asked me why we couldn’t just give her more money.”

#13. More light, please

“Can we open the curtains to make the screen brighter? (While pointing at a projector and screen setup.) She seriously thought that more light in the room would make everything brighter as if the projection was some sort of moving painting.”

#12. Potential time traveler

“C: How much is this?
Me: 50c, like the sticker says.
C: And this one?
Me: $1. All the items have labels on them with how much they cost.
C: Oh is that what those mean? That’s clever.

(Not the slightest bit of sarcasm in their voice. I pressed slightly and found they were genuinely unaware of price labels.)”

#11. Open it, please

“I used to work in computer sales and repairs. Had a customer come up who was maybe 23 years old saying she couldn’t get her laptop to open something. So I take it, and open it and casually ask, “What is it you cant get open?” She looks at me shocked as I open the laptop screen and tells, “I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR HOURS TO GET IT TO OPEN HOWD YOU DO THAT??” I look at her not knowing how to respond and close it and open it again. She takes it and walks out saying thank you. I took a long look at my computer I was working on and decided that this was the moment that made me quit that job.”

#10. Password fail

“I get too many dumb questions to remember them all. Here’s a dumb encounter that happened just yesterday. When sending confidential documentation, we would encrypt it and put a password on it. It’s common practice to send the document and the password in two separate e-mails. I got a message from this guy saying he couldn’t open the document I sent him.

Me: “Did you use the password?”

Client: “Yes. It said there was an error.”

Me: “What password did you use?”

Client: “I just hit OK and it said that I had the wrong password.”

Me: “Wait.. so did you type anything in?”

Client: “Well no.”

Me: “Could you use the password that we provided you?”

Client: “I didn’t think it would work so I deleted the e-mail.”

Me: “….”

#9. The real world

“Selling paint. Woman wants to paint her fence. I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface. She then asks:

“Do I need anything to apply the paint?”

I’m like “Yeah a roller or a brush…”

She’s like “Oh, I can just splash the paint on the fence?”

She was dead serious.

Woman, this is not Looney Tunes, this is the real world!”

#8. Ummm…

“A co-worker at a video store asked ‘Does this calculator do math?’”

#7. A Willy Wonka world

“I worked at Kinkos and on 3 separate occasions different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient.”

#6. Get a real job

“While towing his car to a dealership, “So what do you do for a living?”

He was serious. He assumed I had another job because I didn’t fit the Billy Bob persona he associated with tow truck drivers.”

#5. You keep using that word…

“A group of four ladies sat on a table that is reserved for a group of regulars every day. Before I opened my mouth to let them know, one says ‘we see a reserved sign but we are unsure exactly how “reserved” it is?’”

#4. Nipples or ticks?

“Vet tech. A lot of people think their dog’s nipples are ticks. A lot. One man even pulled a “but he’s a boy!” on us.”

#3. A monumental job

“I work at a famous monument and I kid you not I’ve had people ask me whether we take it down at the end of each day, or whether it’s been rearranged since they last visited.”

#2. Because, physics

I used to work in a call centre for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him. I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash. I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said “Why can’t you just fax it to me?”

#1. A free bookstore

“Library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, “You mean I have to bring the books BACK?””

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12 People Share the One Thing They Wish They’d Never Learned

Sure, knowledge is power and all of that…but what if you learned something that consistently made your life harder? Or forced you to make a decision you’d rather have avoided?

These 12 people have some interesting takes on why something they learned made their life worse and not better.

#12. Eerie, for sure

“That the Challenger crew was alive and possibly aware all the way down. At least two activated oxygen.”

#11. Eyelash pets

“That there are mites living on your eyelashes and eating the dead skin off of them.”

#10. Child abuse training is awful

“I was in a lecture on child abuse and they showed a video from a nanny cam of an 18 month old getting punched repeatedly by babysitters boyfriend. Most of it was off camera but the camera was jostled and you could hear everything. It seemed to last forever. I will randomly think of the clip and the parents when they saw the video. It’s been over 15 years since that lecture but it still makes me queasy.”

#9. War is hell

“What an incoming mortar impact sounds like. You got one of those big freezers in the garage with a door that swings open upwards? Pick it up and slam it down, sounds exactly like that. I may or may not have looked like a fucking weirdo once or twice in my life when people slammed their freezer/fridge doors behind me without warning.”

#8. True story

“That a lot of the world is covered in poop.”

#7. Family matters

“When I was 20, I learned that my grandpa raped my aunt and my mother was forced to watch. I suddenly understood why she didn’t cry at his funeral.”

#6. Can never unread

“I was reading a book about infamous cannibals. Just something I found in a true crime section and I was curious to see what insights were had. One of the men murdered his wife’s little sister, and described it in excruciating detail on a tape, I think his wife accidentally found it. What he said was transcribed into the book.

I have never had to put a book down before to prevent myself from throwing up. Every now and then some of what he says he did pops back in my head. I finished the book and I’m never opening it again.

(Edit: I wasn’t thinking when I posted. The book is named Death by Cannibal by Peter Davidson. The guy in question John Weber.).”

#5. Zombies, basically

“Prions.”

#4. You’ll never leave the house again

“OSHA stuff at bars and nightclubs. Most are waiting to burn up with people inside.”

#3. The truth might not set you free

“I don’t mind knowing my friend was molested by her father- I just wish I didn’t know the details. What he said to her what he made her do.

And then after her mother found out she sent them to counseling… and that’s it… didn’t kick him out… didn’t call the cops… just let him keep being an authority figure.

And then finally after learning all that I saw them driving away from my neighborhood. It was just her mom driving. I wanted to pull her out of the car and beat her so bad she’d remember it for the rest of her life. I didn’t do that or anything for that matter [it had happened 8 years earlier… and she asked me not to say anything]. I had been edgy and a little self righteous before this….

This made me angry and I’ve been angry about this for almost 5 years now.”

#2. The true depth of pain

“The “ant-walking alligator people” that roamed around after the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima

“The Last Train From Hiroshima” is a clear-eyed catalog of every such horror, and not for the weak-stomached. Mr. Pellegrino follows his survivors as they trudge through wastelands that make “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy read like “Goodnight, Moon.” He describes the so-called “ant-walking alligators” that the survivors saw everywhere, men and women who “were now eyeless and faceless — with their heads transformed into blackened alligator hides displaying red holes, indicating mouths.”

The author continues: “The alligator people did not scream. Their mouths could not form the sounds. The noise they made was worse than screaming. They uttered a continuous murmur — like locusts on a midsummer night. One man, staggering on charred stumps of legs, was carrying a dead baby upside down.”

#1. Horrifying

“The 200 dead bodies used as landmarks on Mount Everest.”

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15 People Dish About Why They No Longer Talk to Their Best Friend

Most of us have believed in best friends forever since middle school (or before), but the truth is, sometimes best friends don’t last until the end of days. But what causes people to fall out with the one person they thought would be there for them forever?

Well, for these 15 people, it might not be what you think.

#15. He found God

“He got really religious to the point of extremism. It happened so fast that I thought it was prank. No conversation, no reasoning helped. He stopped listening to music, started to tell us we’re on the wrong path and became more and more secluded. I tried my best to remain friends with him even though we became complete opposites of each other (I’m atheist) until one day he came back from studying abroad for a year. I heard he got married so I congratulated him and asked him when will have the pleasure to meet his wife. He told me “why would you meet her. She’s my wife you have no business talking to her”. That’s when I realized that the person I grew up listening to Pearl Jam with had completely gone.

Edit: many of you have mentioned witnessing the same thing with different religions. For all those who are asking, my friend became an extremely conservative Muslim.”

#14. He was a girlfriend-stealer

“First one was my fault. We had been friends since we were little kids. I started living with my girlfriend at the time and pretty much ignored everyone. Part of that was because she used to get pissed at me when I would talk to other people. So he called me a few times and I never called him back. I’ve tried apologizing several times and he ignores me.

The other guy we were friends since we were little kids as well. He stole a couple of my girlfriends in middle school. But whatever, it’s not a big deal. After high school, I met someone who I really liked. He thought she was attractive, so he tried hitting on her and hooking up with her.

One night I was supposed to go to his house and hang out. He invited her as well knowing that I liked her. He spent the entire night trying to hook up with her. She wasn’t interested and left with me. I was with this woman for a few years and he used to hit on her. I got sick of it and we stopped hanging out.”

#13. A lack of understanding

“A few weeks after my mother passed I was still in shock. This resulted in me being quiet and never enthusiastic. This bothered my friend because I was always quick to laugh and up for a good time. He said I was using her death as an excuse for my behaviour. Got in my car and never talked to him again. I realky wish I punched his punk ass now.”

#12. She was ruthless

“She taunted me into believing that I was unattractive because of my weight. I wasn’t even that chubby at a size 10 (Irish) size, but after the constant comments at lunch time and snide remarks I developed anorexia and dropped to 38kg in less than 6 months. Then she proceeded to taunt me over not eating, called me a walking skeleton and that she was embarrassed to be around me and I cut her off.”

#11. She picked sides

“Decided beginning and maintaining a “friendship” with my abusive ex behind my back was worth more than our friendship.”

#10. He got his priorities straight

“He turned his life around. He almost killed himself in a car wreck driving drunk. Then, his fiance got pregnant. He sobered up quick, I was still runnin&gunnin. When he re-evaluated his priorities, there was no room for someone like me who was sure to get him in trouble again. Now that I’m sober, I’m really glad he made the choices he did. I miss you bro, hope you and the family are doing ok.”

#9. She tried to steal my husband

“Best friend of over a decade, thought my husband was hot, made a play for him, telling him that I didn’t need to know. He put her in her place and he told me about it. Had a rather mild conversation about how sad it was, and I’ve not seen or heard from her since.”

#8. He wanted more

“He told me that he was in love with me, I told him I just didn’t feel the same way.

We stayed friends for awhile, but it was never the same.”

#7. It was too awkward

“We got a bit too tipsy and did some sexual stuff with each other. It just wasn’t the same after that.”

#6. She liked playing the victim

“She spent years talking shit about me and making up rumors. When I called her out on it, she cried and claimed that I’d been trying to make her miserable for years. Because the entire fucking world revolves around her. I majored in Economics because I wanted to make more money than she would with PR. I got a rental house for $50/month cheaper and it was standalone, because I wanted her to feel shitty about her duplex. I offered to help her get a job where I worked since she hated the job she already had; she accepted the job but told everyone I helped her get it because I wanted to assert my dominance. I started dating a guy that was quite cute and a former football player, and I did so because I wanted her to feel like her pudgy boyfriend wasn’t good enough. My parents invited her to the beach with us because they wanted to show off how they had more money than hers (not true, my parents just seem to like me more than hers liked her and wanted me to have a friend at the beach.. that was 2 hours away, its not like we went on some extravagant thing). I got a “new” car because hers was crappy, not because my power steering stopped working and I needed to get to school. I started working out daily to make her feel like shit about her body, not because I was sick and tired of being on the sidelines with asthma-stunted lungs. I got a dog because I wanted to show that I had more time and money otherwise I would have gotten a cat like she did (…what? exactly.). I went to Disneyworld with her roommate because we wanted to exclude her, even though she was invited but never asked for the time off to go.

The list just goes on and on. She can never take responsibility for herself or understand that other people are just out there living their life for THEM, not for her. I felt bad for her when I first met her, it seemed like her family was just mean to her… they weren’t, she spun everything to match her victim story. They tried to include her in things, but she would flip out that her mom took just her to dinner and then the next day took her sister to get her nails done, while former friend was in class- they didn’t include her so they hated her, even though she didn’t care that her sister wasn’t included on dinner. Sad thing is, her family is pretty nice and treat her way better than she treats them.”

#5. Money between friends

“He knowingly gave me his credit card to go buy food for both of us, and then sued me for credit fraud. I won the lawsuit. And he had to pay $10,000 for lying about it, as it was just a small claims court.”

#4. His fragile ego

“His ego couldn’t handle the notion that someone could find me attractive and not him (despite him being better-looking by most standards).

We happened to meet the same girl independently. When he tried to make a move on her, he got shut down. I met her at a separate party and we hit it off.

After we started dating seriously, he passive-aggressively ostracized me from our group of long-time friends.”

#3. Her feelings were hurt

“I told her I was gay, which she was kind of ok with, until I admitted I didn’t fancy her. I said I didn’t think of her like that, which apparently was incredibly insulting of me to say.”

#2. She became an addict

“She got addicted to Oxy.

Found out that I had unknowingly purchased stolen goods from her (this was before I knew she was a junkie). I felt like complete shit and gave the stolen things back to their original owners, but it ended up costing me upwards of $200, which I of course will never see again.

When she first ended up out on the streets, I offered her a ride to the grocery store to buy her some dinner or snacks, and instead she asked me for $100 cash.

Fuck that.”

#1. Pokemon between friends

“A Pokémon card I found in the mall. He said he found it. His dad was the tiebreaker, gave it to him. It was a holo ninetails.”

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