Have you ever noticed how every crazy U.S. news story comes out of either Ohio or Florida? If you haven’t, then you’re in for a treat. There are many, many stories that begin with “Florida man…” and go on to recount some sordid, horrible, or unbelievably idiotic tale, and below are 15 of my personal favorites, compiled from a Twitter account called simply (but brilliantly) “Florida Man.”

#15. I mean you have to LOL.

#14. Sharp as a tack.

#13. My guess is he was thinking “hell no I got enough babies.”

#12. Assault with a delicious weapon.

#11. Real life angry birds.

#10. I mean I guess it all worked out.

#9. Advertising error.

#8. When your friends are taking way too long.

#7. Darwin Awards.

#6. I mean…

#5. That squirrel did not give consent to be photographed, apparently.

#4. I hope he was charged with animal cruelty, too.

#3. Oh, bless his heart.

#2. When you just miss your buds.

#1. Again. *dying*

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