I have a buddy named Tim who has this great talent for telling a joke in such a way that you don’t realize it’s a joke until the last second. It’s a sort of deadpan skill coupled with a knack for surprising twists and it’s downright delightful. You feel like you’ve been tricked and also entertained and I can’t recommend conversations with Tim enough.
But since you all don’t know him and he probably wouldn’t appreciate me sending thousands of internet strangers to his house, the next best thing is probably to just read these great unexpected Twitter jokes.
10. Crushing it
You can’t go through life just living life all the time, that’s for suckers.
Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it’s probably not worth it
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) April 20, 2018
9. BFF
We’ve been together in wedded bliss ever since.
10 years ago today, I married my best friend…
My wife's still really angry about it but me & Dave were drunk & thought it was funny— joe heenan (@joeheenan) August 31, 2017
8. Get it straight
We’ll have a gay old time!
being gay isn’t a “CHOICE” i was straight until 2005 when i was forced into homosexuality by chris evans wearing just a towel in fantastic four
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) May 8, 2019
7. Fur real
The double standards of society have got to stop.
Oh, so when other ppl call their pets "fur baby" its fine but when I call a kid a "skin dog" somehow I'm "disgusting" and "the worst pediatrician in this hospital"??
— Andy Matthews (@stupidoldandy) November 28, 2019
6. Change is coming
Plus your body is gonna start to hurt pretty soon, so enjoy that.
yes, your 20’s might be shitty. eating ramen every night, pulling all nighters for class, new family and social strain, etc. it’s hard to grow up! but you know what reward is waiting for you at the end of them? Climate Change.
— vōdou☥fairy
(@vodoufairy) June 15, 2019
5. Intimate moments
This is the future libertarians want.
People who are offended when I breastfeed in public need to STFU. What I'm doing is natural and strengthens the bond between me and my dog.
— ghost mom (@radtoria) October 21, 2014
4. Sleepover woes
Have you tried really telling him how you feel?
Was sleeping at my girlfriend’s house last night. Her dad wouldn’t let us sleep in the same bed. It made me proper angry because he’s actually really handsome
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) April 1, 2018
3. Cobbled together
Before you make fun, walk a mile in his shoes.
“Leave the peach cobbler in the kitchen alone,” mother would say, going upstairs.
But I couldn’t help myself. I sneaked in and watched him. Watched him make his stupid little peach shoes, taunting.
“Nobody’s going to wear those,” I’d say. “They’re stupid.”
But on he worked.
— taming fred savage (@FredTaming) January 15, 2019
2. On the side
A delicious conundrum.
[Argument at family dinner]
Wife: *Whispers to me* Don’t start taking sides this time.
Me: Why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* They're too busy yelling to notice.
— m@thew (@TweetPotato314) March 7, 2018
1. Stealing my heart
Hold up.
me: I can’t do it I’m too shy, you ask her
friend: no way man you do it
me: *giggles* gimme your money this is a robbery
— tom (@pilau) January 17, 2020
People on Twitter are just too clever for their own good. But I’m pretty grateful for it, because what else am I gonna stare at all day? A book? Gross.
Who are the funniest people to follow on Twitter, in your opinion?
Tell us who to check out in the comments.
The post 10 Jokes With Great Twists For You to Check Out appeared first on UberFacts.