Classical Illustrations Depict What Can Only Be Described as Japanese Fart Battles

If you’ve ever needed proof that potty humor in general has been around for years– fart humor in particular – these images depicting epic flatulence battles should do the trick.

Image Credit: Waseda University

There’s a centuries-old scroll called He-Gassen (“the fart war”) dating to Japan’s Edo Period (1603-1868) that depicts men, rear ends bared, spraying powerful gusts of gas toward each other – gas that can break boards and cross wide battlefields to win the day.

Image Credit: Waseda University

Image Credit: Waseda University

Though the depictions aren’t entirely unique – Arabian Nights features a story titled “The Historic Fart” and Apocolocyntosis, a satire possibly written by Seneca, references a “shart” (“When he had made a great noise with that end of him which talked easiest, he cried out, ‘Oh dear, oh dear! I think I have made a mess of myself.’”)

And bathroom humor has a long history in European political dissent – this is a woodcut from 1545 entitled “Kissing the Pope’s Feet”:

Image Credit: Public Domain

But back to Japan…

Image Credit: Waseda University

Image Credit: Waseda University

In the Japanese art, Westerners in particular were apt to be blown away by the strength and prowess of the Japanese wind, so the scroll pictured also counts (crudely) as a political cartoon.

Image Credit: Waseda University

Image Credit: Waseda University

The creators of South Park have nothing on whoever created it, for sure.

If you want more (and of course you do), you can check out the full collection here.

The post Classical Illustrations Depict What Can Only Be Described as Japanese Fart Battles appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Creeped-Out People Share the Scariest Things They’ve Ever Seen in Their Lives

Okay, creeper time.

Have you ever been totally creeped out by something you saw out in the middle of nowhere? Might have been in the woods, in a rural area, in the mountains, etc.?

AskReddit users went on the record and shared their personal stories and they will give you the willies!

1. What do you expect in Transylvania?

“Went on a mountain hike in Transylvania with a group of friends from school, and way up, after maybe 12-14 km of trekking, we saw a house….was in the middle of nowhere. It had a barn, with a few animals, couple of cows, chicken, etc. As we get closer, we see a few people, a guy and 5-6 women. Not sure if there were more inside. The dude comes to greet us, barely speaking the language. We had a hard time understanding what he’s saying. They lived without electricity, gas, anything. This is in the early ’90s, so there’s no internet, mobile phones to worry about. At least for most people.

Anyway, they all looked weird, kinda dumb expressions on their face, we can barely understand eachother. They asked us who’s the president now, and if we want some milk. They look at our clothes and shoes weirdly, curious…like who knows when is the last time they had human contact. Or maybe there were more crazies around those parts…dunno. Not sure to this day what was going on. It’s not typical in the region, so we kinda freaked out, especially cause the dude looked a bit disturbed, and we were too young.

We were looking around to see if there’s more of them, paranoia was getting to us, thinking there must be a village nearby. What was also weird is that all the women kept their distance, and never got close to us. Like he was guarding them, or checking us out, if it’s safe for them.

One of my friends kept saying we don’t want their milk, and we need to go, cause it’s getting dark. We walked calmly for a while, then when we thought we’re out of their sight, bolted like crazy out of there. Needless to say, we camped after a few hours, and we always had one person awake to keep watch.

We told people that were living in the villages near that area, about the “mountain people”, and they didn’t believe us. They said nobody lives there, up in the mountains.”

2. OH MY GOD

“I was driving home after an extremely late night at work, I lived in the middle of nowhere, about a mile before I got there a woman covered in blood jumped out of the woods into the middle of the road screaming. I panicked and went around her then slammed on the breaks to help.

Her boyfriend had beaten her and was currently chasing after her in the woods. I got her in my car and called the police, they met us at the hospital because I told them there was no way I was waiting on the side of the road when he was coming.”

3. Get outta there!

“I was driving through rural parts of Missouri with a buddy. We drove down a single lane road that had no exit. At the end of the road, there was a group of deer corpses laid in a perfect circle. I’d say there was at least 10 deer.

We BTFO real quick.”

4. Terrifying

“I’d been at football training with a few of my cousins when I was about 10 years old.

We decided to take a walk before our parents picked us up, so we went along the canal towpath. My cousin looked down in the canal and say a really nice jacket floating along and being a weird scavenger person decided to reach in to fish it out.

Well, the jacket turned over. And so did the man wearing it. He also had no face left.

Not gonna lie, that was rough.”

5. Yikes

“My boyfriend and I were walking through the woods on a nature trail when we came across a piece of alligator tail and foot that had been ripped off and the rest of the body was gone.

I freaked out – all I kept thinking was I have no idea what’s big enough to kill and eat an entire alligator, but I don’t want to meet it.

We cautiously kept walking and a few hundred feet later saw a giant, probably 10 foot at least, alligator walking along the shoreline with a whole smaller, dead alligator in its mouth.

And that was the day I learned that alligators were cannibals.”

6. That’s weird

“I was mountain biking in the woods and I came across an east Asian looking man in a perfectly fitted suit and a briefcase. Just casually walking through the woods.”

7. Creeper

“When I was about 7 or 8, my parents sent me to a local summer camp that they would pick me up from in the afternoons. I never really liked it because the kids were mean, everything was either broken or not clean, and the counselors obviously didn’t care. I remember the girl’s changing room had a door that lead out to the woods but the doorknob was gone so it was unlocked all the time and you could see into it.

This was primarily where the girls changed into their bathing suits and there was usually someone blocking the view while we changed so the boys couldn’t look in. Well, one day I’m changing alone and someone wasn’t blocking the door. I look over and see an eye peeping in through the hole watching me change. I pull the rest of my clothes back on quickly and run out to tell my twin brother.

I tell my dad that I don’t want to go back to that camp anymore and he begrudgingly takes us out of the camp pretty soon after because he knew how much we hated it. Years later, the camp has been closed down for many many years and I’m asking my dad about it. He gets really grim and tells me it shut down because a 13 year old boy had raped 7 year old girl in the woods right behind the girl’s bathroom a few weeks after I had told him about someone watching me change.”

8. Camping

“Cowlitz river. Washington State. Camping with my dad and sister me buddies, early ’90s. Something was throwing rocks and sticks into our camp. We shined a flashlight out and caught a reflection of eyes and a silouete. Very very tall. Kept throwing stuff in our camp randomly for about 15 minutes. We just stoked the fire really high. In the morning I woke up to heavy footsteps in our camp and something reeked. Woke up my dad. He shook the tent and yelled. Whatever it was ran off.”

9. Run!

“My girlfriend and I were hiking along some abandoned railroad tracks and we get to a small bridge going over a little creek. I’m about to go explore under the bridge when she points something out. I look over and in the woods across from us I see a guy.

I’m like whatever and keep headed down to the creek area and then the guy stands up and he’s naked. We immediately back track pretty quickly to get away from there and once were like 1 minute down the trail I look back and this naked dude is just standing in the middle of the trail watching us walk away.”

10. On the playground

“While I was walking to High School I saw the body of a young girl that had hung herself from a swing set. Police were just putting the bag over the body when I was going by. The City ripped down the playground and built a new one shortly after.”

11. In the Australian bush

“This took place in the Australian bush around 10/11 at night.

I was 17, leading a staggered column of about 60 Cadets to our detachment campsite. Due to light discipline rules, only myself at the very front of the group and the other flight commander at the rear had torches on. This was so that any vehicles coming along the trail could see us and so that most of the cadets could maintain their night vision(we were camouflaged up and thus difficult to see at night).

As we walked along I periodically looked to my sides, and kept seeing what looked like dew drops on the ground. Almost like tiny blue gems glinting in my torch light either side of the road.I had to maintain my position in the formation, so I couldn’t get a good look at what they were.

However, after a while we stopped for a very brief break, and I took the opportunity to have a closer look. Walking over to the side of the trail I spotted a small cluster of the “diamonds” and focused my head torch on them. Rather than seeing diamonds or dew drops or anything remotely pleasant, I instead saw a group of about 5 large spiders just crouching in the leaf litter and staring at me.

They looked like huntsmans which are about the size of an adults hand. Sweeping my head around, I realised there were thousands of the things. All over the ground, some on the trunks of trees, and everywhere around me; glaring at the light affixed to my head.

I had a very brisk walk back to the formation and attempted to play it cool while screaming in my head. Being a massive Arachnophobe, I have no fucking clue how I managed to set up a tent and spend the next week in that cursed forest.”

12. Don’t go there at night

“I was in a large wooded area near my BF’s home, with him, hanging out nearly at midnight. We had gone in pretty deep and it required a good amount of climbing. The closest path was maybe 5-7 min climbing down so it was highly unlikely someone could be at that spot, that time of the night, besides us.

As we were kissing and stuff he thought he saw a shadow move 20 – 25 feet to the left of us, climbing, but it stopped suddenly when my bf looked at it. He told me to be wary and that exact moment we saw a dark figure climbing a little up but diagonally, like he tried to go directly above where we were.

We didn’t move and watch him till he closed the horizontal gap and was directly above us maybe 15 feet of steep downhill thick forest. Then he began to come towards us.

Without skipping a bit my bf grabbed my hand and we almost ran downhill till the path. We made it in less that two minutes while still holding hands and listening to the man running behind us. We ran as fast as we could down the path and out of the forest where there was a cafe and some basketball and tennis courts next to the wooded hill, and of course, people.

As we realised we came really close to be mugged or worse, we vowed never to go there at night again. ?

13. Terrible

“I found a woman’s body floating in a harbor in San Pedro, CA.”

14. Flipping out

“In Auburn, AL in 2008. It was halloween and we googled haunted houses. I cant remember what the website was like or if there even was one, but it was like 45 min away. I know that it wasnt like a big attraction and we figured it was on someones land and would be like a local deal. We drove out there at like 10pm. This was before iphones and GPS so we had mapquest directions.

We ended up going down a pretty country road for a while with no street lights, then turned down a legit dirt road that went through the woods. Pitch black. Went down it for like 10 minutes and finally saw an old house with a sign by the driveway that was handwritten and said “Haunted House”. No other cars or lights or people anywhere We pulled in the driveway and sat there for a second like “alright this is fucked up, we should leave”.

All of the sudden an old pick up truck turned on about 15 ft in front of us facing us, lights shining right in our faces. It started driving towards us (down their own driveway).We backed out and peeled out. It followed us, like almost bumping our rear end. Right on our tail down this pitch black dirt road in the middle of the Alabama woods.

We were flipping our shit. It was texas chainsaw massacre/hills have eyes stuff. He stayed out our tail blinding us and almost bumping us all the way back home until we got off our exit and he finally let us go. No idea who was driving.

I always think what would have happened if we got out of the car when we were in that driveway.”

15. This one is crazy

“My boyfriend and I were backpacking through rural Tasmania a few years ago. While on a bus, we were discussing our plans for the ensuing two weeks. The girl in the seat in front turns around and offers us a place to stay in her town. We declined as we were headed elsewhere first, but she gave us her mobile number and said that she and her partner would love to have us.

A few days later we decide to take them up on their offer. We call her, and she says they’re happy to host us. So far so good.

They meet us at the train station and immediately something feels off. It’s really difficult to explain, but it’s that primal, ineffable feeling in your guts that tells you that something isn’t right. We ignored our guts and followed them.

They lead us straight out of town. We ask them where we’re going and they say that they live on the outskirts. This town is creepy as fuck. It’s an old mining town that has been largely abandoned, and as we walk the 15-odd minutes to their home the houses get shittier, with boarded up windows, overgrown gardens and no people in sight.

Eventually we reach the house at the very end of the town. It’s their house. We go in.

Set up in the middle of the living room is a single mattress with a sheet hanging around it. They show us around the house except for one door which stays closed. When I asked what was behind it they pretended not to hear. Our room has a made bed, chest of drawers and looks like a normal room. It seems weird that they sleep on mattresses in the living room when they have a “guest room”.

We go back into the living room and look around. Knives. A lot of knives. My boyfriend asks if they go hunting? No. The partner hands one of the knives to my boyfriend and asks him to open it. It’s a massive fucking bowie knife with what looks like blood staining around the edges of the blade. My boyfriend laughs awkwardly and sets it down.

They have a tattoo gun – “to practice”. My boyfriend asks if they have any tattoos. No. There’s a small axe at the door. I ask if they collect wood. No.

Suddenly the guy says he wants to go to the shops. We agree quickly because we’re creeped out and want to get back into the town.

The four of us leave and they start walking in the opposite direction to the town. I say that the town is back the other way. The guy says this way would be more interesting because it goes up through the trees. He says that they have never been up the mountain before but he knows the area and it would take the same amount of time.

I tell my boyfriend that I’m freaking out but he thinks it’s ok. We follow them into the trees. The path goes up the mountain. We are going in the total opposite direction of the town.

The girl turns around to her partner and whispers – “so where was the place again?”

My boyfriend and I freeze. I say I want to take the road back to town and start walking.

When the four of us arrive in the one shop in town – no one recognises the couple. And this is a really small town. We make an excuse that we want to go look at sights and that we’ll catch up with them later, and instead book a hotel room and freak out.

I did some snooping on the area. Their house had an extra room (behind the mystery door) and a basement. The path that we were taking led straight out of town and up the mountain. There was no way it could loop back into town.

So yeah pretty sure we narrowly avoided being murdered. Or maybe they were just massive weirdos. Tbh the creepiest thing was the fact that there was no drug paraphernalia at all – the state of the house and the weird behaviour would have been understandable if they were intoxicated but that wasn’t the case.”

Pure nightmare fuel!

Have you had any experiences like this? Share in the comments!

The post 15 Creeped-Out People Share the Scariest Things They’ve Ever Seen in Their Lives appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Their Stories About Things Really Work on TV Shows like ‘Jerry Springer’

How does it work???

When people tune in to television shows like Maury and Jerry Springer, they expect to see drama…and it’s drama they get. But how real is what we see on our TV screens? Are shows like this completely fabricated, or are those people actually unsure who the father is?

A number of users on Reddit have responded to AskReddit threads about this very subject. Some have been on these shows themselves, other have friends who told them all about it, but all of them offer an inside look at how shows like these are made.

1. Devastated

A guy I work with was a regular on Maury. He was one of the people that you’d see ‘updates’ on fairly regularly.

He first went on there because his girlfriend had something to tell him. It turns out that she had cheated on him and there was a possibility that he wasn’t the father of their child. He’s crying and they bring out the guy she cheated with. They’ve done DNA tests and tell my co-worker that he IS NOT the father. He’s crazy about his kid, so of course, he’s devastated.

Then they read the results for the other guy. Of course, he IS NOT the father, either. She swears that’s the only time she’s cheated. Then they go back on Maury and she remembered about three other guys she had cheated with.

Go figure, none of them are the father, either.

They wound up testing seven or eight guys before they actually found the real father. My co-worker stupidly actually ended up marrying her. Ultimately, I think it came down to the kid. He wanted to be in their life but had no legal rights to do so if he dumped her…at least, that’s what I hope it was. Yet no one was too surprised when she dumped him a couple years later because she’d started hooking up with the baby daddy again.

Last I saw of him, he was fired because he kept showing up to work all messed up. I still occasionally flip through channels and see re-runs with him on it.

2. Made Him Look Stupid

A good friend of mine was on Jerry Springer. At the time, he had a fiancée, and they thought it would be something funny to do. So they made up this whole story that she was a dancer in Vegas, and while out on vacation he met her and has been stalking her ever since. You know, standard Jerry.

So they fly them out there, put them up in a hotel, everything seems to be just fun and games. Well, they show up at the studio and the costume team starts going nuts on them. You know how everyone wears shirts that are too big for them? Well, I learned that it’s a deliberate thing Jerry’s team does to men who they want to look especially stupid (and oh god did he look stupid – we still bust on him).

At the taping, they are both nervous as anything. My boy has visible sweat stains and his voice kept squeaking, but they made it through it. He was demolished by the crowd afterward, I honestly wish I taped it because I only have my memory. Anyway, they broke up two months later. No more fiancée for my buddy Vince. He is still a great guy with an amazing sense of humor (and a new girlfriend) so I guess his life was pretty good afterward. He gets ripped on all the time for being on the show, but that’s just guys busting on each other.

3. Blood on the stage

I had a buddy that was on Springer a few years ago. One day, the Jerry Springer show called him. I always tell him that you know your life is messed up when Springer calls YOU, but anyway.

The true story is that my buddy’s then wife’s transvestite ex-boyfriend wanted her back. So Springer calls him and they start the process of booking the show. A few days later, the ex drops out. Since they’ve already booked the show, the producer says, ‘Is there anything else you’d like to talk about? Anything?

ANYTHING?’ insinuating that they should just make something else up.

They came up with a story where my buddy was cheating on his wife with his male friend, but that she was also cheating on him with her girlfriend. But wait! Both of the paramours were also cheating — with each other! They flew out to Stamford for the taping. Before the show, the lawyer came in and gave them ‘the speech’ — no cursing, no throwing things. no acting like jerks.

Then, the producer came in and said to ignore all the stuff that guy had just said.

‘I want you to break chairs, I want you to throw things, curse all you want, just don’t get blood on the stage.’ They went out and acted out their made-up story. His wife’s ‘lover’ danced on the pole. He and his ‘boyfriend’ ripped their shirts off and tried to beat each other up. At the questions and answers section, somebody in the audience called him a ‘werewolf-looking dude.’

Everyone in the audience jumped up and did a weird dance when they found out he was from Tennessee. Then they flew back.

The show aired a couple months later. I couldn’t be seen out in public with him without people recognizing him and asking if I was his new lover. That got old, quickly.

4. Ridiculous

I was a guest on the Carnie Wilson Show (eons ago when she had a show). A friend of mine’s then-girlfriend was a producer for it. She’d heard through my buddy that I had reconnected with a girl I used to have a crush on (let’s call her Yolanda) and was wondering if I’d agree to be flown to New York, be picked up in a limo and put up in a hotel in exchange for telling her as much on national television.

Of course, I said yes.

We did a pre-interview on the phone and my buddy’s girlfriend, the producer, asked the basic questions I was likely to be asked. I answered with humor and charm and I was to repeat this basic banter on the air. No problem. As we’re ending the conversation she says, ‘So after the first segment Carnie will say ‘and when we come back we’ll meet [me] who says he must sleep with Yolanda’ and then after the break we’ll come back and Carnie will say, ‘So, you must sleep with Yolanda’ and you will say, ‘yes, I must sleep with Yolanda’ and then we’ll do all those other questions I just asked you.

Okay? Gotta go.’

‘Wait a minute,’ I thought, ‘I never said I must sleep with anybody.’ So it’s the day of, and I’m still not really comfortable with the language. Would I sleep with Yolanda? Sure, if she was up for it. Did I have to? Was it absolutely imperative that this happen? Of course not. Besides, it made me sound desperate.

And if there’s one thing I hate it’s sounding desperate. This whole thing was starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

So there I was on stage in front of a live studio audience and the producer comes out and goes over what’s going to happen again. Then her boss, the executive producer, comes over and says the exact same thing, verbatim.

This was getting ridiculous.

I didn’t immediately respond, searching instead for a tactful way to bring up my concerns moments before taping. The execs must have seen the concern on my face because she looked at my friend’s girlfriend like she was about to get fired and said, ‘You’ve gone over this right?’

When she hesitated, the boss looked at me instead and in the most stern, ‘don’t mess with me’ broadcast voice said ‘You’ve gone over it now.’ She marched off stage. I look to my producer friend and meekly ask, ‘Couldn’t I just say I’d really like to sleep with Yolanda?’ She scrunches an apologetic face and says ‘Must.’

And when I heard Carnie Wilson of Wilson Phillips’ fame say ‘So, you must sleep with Yolanda?’

Time stood still. I looked out at the sea of faces. Regular American folk, suddenly and inexplicably riveted by my tawdry, speculative intimate life. I thought of the lyrics to ‘Hold On,’ one of Wilson Phillips’ most popular songs: ‘No one can change your life except for you, don’t ever let anyone step all over you.’

Would Carnie want me to follow this advice right now? If I said ‘Meh, I’m in if she is?’ what would they do? Would they stop rolling and scold me in front of this full house of strangers? What would Carnie Wilson do if I threw her under the bus? The truth is I would never find out because that was the moment that I discovered what a spineless media monster I am.

I didn’t just say the words, I said them like it was the most important thing I would ever do. ‘Yes.” I proclaimed, ‘Yes I must sleep with Yolanda!’ And that night I did, twice, and it was just so-so.

5. Signals

Years ago, a friend of mine was on Springer. She and her two male housemates had been sitting around drinking and someone said, ‘Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to be on Springer?’ They devised some lame premise, phoned the show and three weeks later they on a paid-for trip to Chicago on an episode titled, ‘My Girlfriend Sells Herself Out.’ Their idea was to pretend that she listed her ‘services’ on Craigslist and that one of her housemates was her boyfriend and the other a client.

The guys went out partying the night before the show, but she decided to stay in.

Watching Fraser that night, one of the characters said something like ‘some of us are angels, some are devils and the rest of us are just doing the best we can.’ She thought that that would be something a streetwalker might say, so she dropped it during the segment the next day. She said that was the only moment when the ’emotions’ guy signaled the audience with a finger to his temple so they would all say ‘hmm.’

The other emotions the audience are signaled by thumbs-up (cheering) and thumbs down (booing). She is a very funny girl and lots of fun, but she did not give me the sense that being on Springer was particularly enjoyable. I have the impression that she wishes she hadn’t gone through with it. They were paid only for their trip, accommodation and about 100 dollars in expenses each. She didn’t speak with Jerry behind the scenes but said that there is a ‘priest’ who works behind the camera who spent tons of time with them and even contacted them after the show to see how things had worked out for everyone following the show.

She said this guy hit on her pretty hard.

6. Lie Detector

I appeared on Jeremy Kyle (British version of Maury and Jerry Springer) in December 2015. I went on because 800-1000 pounds (we didn’t know the exact amount) was stolen from my mum’s wardrobe. My mum was saving it up for Christmas as a little extra for all of us since she has 5 children.

Our family isn’t a trashy family and we’re all just normal people, apart from my 25-year-old brother, who also just happens to be a substance addict with a serious drinking problem.

So of course when 800-1000 quid went missing we all knew it was him.

But of course, him being the addict scumbag he is, he denied it constantly and proclaimed his innocence. My parents were so angry at him and my dad was even close to kicking the life out of him. They basically said you’ve got 2 weeks to get out of the house, so my brother, knowing that he has nowhere to go and no money thought the best option to prove his innocence was to get in contact with the Jeremy Kyle show to take a lie detector test.

He calls up the show and they all interview us over the phone and a few hours later they call back and ask if we can come to Manchester in two days (we live in Northern Ireland so they would pay all the flights and all the taxis) and we said yes.

My brother was booked to fly over the day before us – the day right after he first got in contact with the show.

The producers of the show book a taxi to go to our house, collect us (just me, my sister, and mum) and drive us to the airport. They had the flight all sorted so getting over to Manchester was so smooth.

As soon as we got off the plane we got the taxi to the hotel. The hotel was pretty bad but you got free meals so I guess that was the only good thing about it. My brother, since he left the day before us, was not in contact with us and was placed in a different hotel.

We spent one night in the hotel and the very next morning the producers come to collect us.

We go to the studio, get searched, our phones and bags taken off us and put into this very nice room that even had a bathroom with a shower in it. We wait there for about one to two hours until we’re called for a sound check.

We basically just go onto the stage and test the microphones we will be using. Afterward, we’re sent back to our room and the producers come and talk to us and have already decided how the show will play out.

Basically, they put me in the audience for some reason and told me to shout out as much as possible, as Jeremy hates quiet people on his show because he feels like he wasted money bringing them on. They decided that my sister would come out first and do most of the talking because she was the most outgoing one of us.

They said our brother would then come out and Jeremy, my sister, and my brother would talk for a while before they’d bring my mum out and then read the lie detector results.

After an hour in the nice room, we were finally told that we’re going on the show now.

We went backstage and I was brought to the middle of the audience by one of the workers (one of the most awkward moments of my life – the audience just looks at you with pure disgust and laughs at you for just being on the show).

Jeremy then comes out and does a few takes of his opening lines, and then he calls out my sister onto the show. They talk for a bit, he calls out my brother, then my mum, and then reads the lie detector.

Of course, he was lying. The audience was so shocked that he was lying because he doesn’t look like an addict and speaks like a normal guy, but my family obviously knew he had stolen the money.

So of course, like a typical Jeremy Kyle victim, he denies it and says the lie detector is wrong.

Jeremy insults him for a bit and the show is over and we’re led straight out the door and into the taxi to the airport. The whole show lasted about 15 minutes. Of course, my parents, being as nice as they are, didn’t kick him out and he continues to live in our house and gets high and HE STILL DENIES HE STOLE THE MONEY.

We all just try to ignore his existence. We didn’t get any money for going on the show, all we got was the free hotel room for the night and the meals in the hotel.

Jeremy Kyle was just as big of a jerk in real life as he is on the show.

He insulted the jumper I was wearing before the cameras even started rolling, and when I shouted out something from the audience, as I was told to do, about my brother stealing in the past, Jeremy Kyle turned around and gave me the dirtiest look ever and said ‘don’t you talk over me, this is the Jeremy Kyle show, I speak first.’

I just apologized and stopped talking. All in all, it wasn’t too bad of an experience though – the producers we talked to were the sweetest and nicest people I’ve met in a long time.

7. Awful

My girlfriend and I were visiting Chicago and had just gotten off the architecture tour boat. We were looking for a sandwich and there was a cafe underneath the NBC building. The cafe was closed, but there was a long line to get into the studio entrance.

The doorman asked if we want to watch the Jenny Jones show. For whatever reason, we said yes. We were escorted into a large waiting room. We sat there forever.

Eventually, a woman comes out and tells us about the show, ‘Missed Connections’ or something like that.

It was going to feature people who had a one nighter on spring break who they were going to reunite on the show. The people who had signed up in advance had been instructed to wear certain color clothes.

The woman encouraged people to get up to the microphone and be as controversial as possible. We were told once we sat down in the audience chairs that we couldn’t leave because they didn’t want empty seats.

We finally sit down, and there were cheerleaders on either side of the stage below signs that said ‘applause.’

The signs flashed on whenever they wanted a crowd reaction. It was awful. We wanted to leave. It took about 4 hours for the whole thing. To top it off, one of the boy bands from around 2000 was the ‘special guest’ and we all got free CDs.

I just wanted a sandwich. By the way, the show was atrocious and Jenny took time-outs for makeup and the people on stage were constantly being coached during breaks.

8. Paid Actors

My wife and I were down in Jamaica in the early 2000s and Jerry Springer was taping on our resort’s beach. They tape multiple shows in a day. Theoretically, they are supposed to blur your face if you appear on camera without signing a release.

This doesn’t apply to audience members, only to people caught on film in background shots of the beach. My wife and I never signed a release and we hung out in a hammock all day right next to the taping location.

A lot, if not all, of the ‘guests’ were paid actors.

At one point, we saw them rehearsing a verbal fight and then pacing off the physical confrontation. Springer had nothing to do with the planning. It looked like it was all up to the show’s director, and Springer would just come out and react to the foolishness taking place in front of him.

They had a segment about hypnotizing people. Ms. Texas was a guest on this show. She walked up to our hammock and started talking to us. Now, before you get any ideas, we are absolutely NOT the type of people that this sort of stuff happens to.

No ‘Dear Penthouse Letters, I never thought this would happen to me.’ We are not of the Beautiful People Master Race. So, needless to say, this was very odd to us.

After talking for about five minutes, she asked us to watch over her bikini.

She then proceeded to take it off and prance, and yes it was definitely a prance, over to the show. Now, this is weird on many levels. First, why is she asking a random couple laying in a hammock to hold her bikini when she could have just given to a production assistant.

Second, why was she even talking to us at all? It wasn’t like we happen to be in a convenient spot compared to where they were taping the show. The conversation was actually pretty normal. We asked about the Ms.

Nude competition and what she did for a living (shockingly, it was nude modeling and dancing). The entire Springer crew went to a foam party dance club after taping that night. The resort had a kind of act similar to a Jamaican themed circus for entertainment that night.

A large group of the female Springer guests kept yelling for the male contortionist to do various things on stage. It was an all-inclusive resort, so the drinks were HEAVILY flowing.

9. Separated

My wife and I were on Ricki Lake back in 1993. We were dating back then, we are married now. We told a lie to get on the show, saying that my cousin was too big a part of our relationship, and she wanted him out.

The real story is that my wife was born in Iraq but moved to America when she was still a baby. I was born in Iraq and moved to Canada before I was 5. She’s an American girl. I’m a Canadian guy. She has attitude, I’m passive.

She’s the one to go off on a car driver, I’m the guy who says, eh it’s all right. My cousin always hung out with us wherever we went. He would jokingly say I should grow a pair and he would stick up for me if my wife felt the need to yell at me.

I just don’t want to inconvenience anyone, especially not her since I was in love so I would go along with whatever.

So we took this premise and made it more serious, and Ricki Lake went with it. When we got there they placed us each in our own rooms and started with, ‘Well, she said if you actually stuck up for yourself and grew a pair of balls maybe you wouldn’t need your cousin,’ etc.

Basically, they separate you into private rooms, then they have producers come in and stir things up. She said this about you. He said this about you.

None of it was true, but when you have 6 people saying this to you in a closed room for over 30 minutes you start to believe that hey, maybe she did say something.

My wife took it way harder than I did. I was mad that they would outright lie to me about something my wife said to get a juicier story. I know I lied to get on but it wasn’t that far off from the truth.

So we went in there laughing but when we got on stage we were angry because of the lies the producers told.

I don’t remember all of the lies, but the one that has stuck with me is, ‘She just called you a wimp in the other room. She thinks you have no backbone and that is why you need your cousin to defend you.’

That struck me hard and I was pretty mad hearing that. I did not know that the producers were lying at the time. I believed every word they said, as did she. Looking back though, we still laugh about this and our daughter thinks this is the greatest thing.

10. All Dressed Up

My old neighbors were on the Maury show. While the basic story they featured was true, there was a lot of embellishment. The story was that the wife wanted the husband to quit his band and change his appearance.

For the show, the wife was given very conservative clothes and appeared much more serious than she ever was in real life. The man was dressed to look like a wild man. In real life, they were both somewhere in the middle.

They did some taped segments ahead of time and although the staff did not tell them what to say, the staff did suggest re-taping portions to make them ‘support the story more.’ It was a gentle prompting and they felt like they had to be dramatic to get on the show.

Their trip to the show was paid for.

They never saw Maury until they went out on the stage. The only interaction they had with him were those 15 or so minutes he questioned them. The husband, as expected, agreed to change his ways and they left the stage.

They were escorted from the building and headed home. The wife had to return the clothes she was given to wear on the show. They thought the trip was fun and worth it. I did not know this couple well but they loved that people who knew them saw the show and they said they would have done it again in a minute.

11. Scripted

My sister was on Maury. The theme of her episode was ‘controlling boyfriends’ or something like that. The joke of it was she and her boyfriend were broken up when they got the call to be on the show so they got back together just to go on (they have an on-again and off-again relationship all the time anyway).

The whole thing is fairly scripted.

They told them what to say and do. They made it seem like they lived together and that she was his slave. In actuality, they both live with their parents and he doesn’t even own a car so they only see each other when she drives to him.

They both got paid a little bit of money (she just got compensated for her normal salary for the day, he got around $100 because he is unemployed). So far nothing has changed. They are still in an on-again-off-again relationship and no one has mentioned to her that they saw the episode so her life is literally no different.

12. Crowdwork

I went to both shows as an audience member. Jerry’s crowd was kind of boring, which was disappointing because I love Jerry way more than Maury. Maury’s crowd was ABSOLUTELY INSANE. Before the show even started people were dancing and grinding in the aisles like it was a club.

It was 11 am on a Thursday. So much more fun. So if you’re gonna go be an audience member, go to Maury. Jerry is kinda lame. They also shoot Steve Wilkos in the same studio.

The post People Share Their Stories About Things Really Work on TV Shows like ‘Jerry Springer’ appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Scariest Situations They’ve Experienced While Traveling

Traveling can put you in some pretty sticky situations. Being in an unfamiliar place where you might not know the language or anyone around you is a prime setting for off-putting and, in some cases, downright terrifying things to happen.

My scariest traveling situation came in Moscow when my brother, my sister and I attended a hockey game and the crowd was 99% skinheads. Let’s just say it didn’t go well, and I still tell that story 15 years later.

Here are 15 similarly disturbing traveling tales from AskReddit users that will make your hair stand on end.

1. Doesn’t sound like a party

“Went hiking in the Himalayas in Nepal when I was 18 with a friend. We were the only girls on the hike. The entire time on the first day our Nepalese guide (probably early 30’s married man) told us we were going to have a ‘chicken’ party when we got to our first night stay in a village in the mountains.

Not knowing what this was, we were very hesitant. Turns out chicken party meant that all the guys on the trek (guides and male trekkers alike) got hideously drunk and started ramming on our super thin, wooden door with a cheap, flimsy lock clucking like chooks. We spent the whole night sitting with our backs pressing against the door to stop them.”

2. Drugged

“When I visited Turkey, some people staying at our hotel came out of their room and explained that they had eaten some cake offered to them by a fellow traveller, ostensibly for his birthday, and they had fallen asleep for over a day, only to find he had cleaned them out, passports, money, etc and took off. Put me on my guard, that’s for sure.”

3. Close call

“On a flight from Atlanta to Pensacola and, as we approached to land the pilot announced that we may have to turn back because of fog. Apparently he changed his mind and decided to try landing and I am sitting there by the window watching the when the fog finally broke. We were barely above the tree tops and I could see the runway was about 500 yards on the right side. The plane suddenly starting climbing HARD and we turned around and flew back to Atlanta.

It was a close one.”

4. Lucky

“I was traveling across Europe with my girlfriend and snapping lots of pictures along the drive as we went through various EU borderless countries. While entering Italy, my girlfriend noticed the “Welcome to Italy” sign and wanted a cliche couples photo. Naturally, I agreed and we got out of the vehicle, took our cringe selfie, and drove into Italy.

20 minutes into the drive we noticed that my girlfriends purse was missing. To contextualize the story, we had been carrying every important legal document we had while we were traveling in case something went wrong and we were stopped by police/TSA. This included our passports, citizenship cards, birth certificates, and drivers licenses. Essentially, this was everything that proved we were who we said we were and there were absolutely no other records of our existence elsewhere. All of these documents were in my girlfriends purse that was now lost.

We realized we had left them at the “Welcome to Italy” sign and I quickly turned the car around and drove as fast as I legally could (I had no drivers license) back to the border. By some miracle, nobody had grabbed the purse and we got al our documents back.”

5. Phew!

“Same happened to me in Paris Gare du Nord (very busy train station). Person I was travelling with left their bag in the cafe there, with all our passports and a bunch of cash in it. He didn’t realise till we got to our destination 3 hours away. Googled the cafe number, tried to speak French to the manager, and we think he is telling us the bag is still there.

Friend gets back on a train and travels 3 hours back to Paris, and it’s still there! So much stress, and a lot of unnecessary money on train tickets, but I’m very glad Paris didn’t live up to its pick-pocket reputation that day!”

6. Passports, please

“Pulled off a bus around 1 A.M. in the morning when I was travelling from Italy to Croatia. The guards at the border of Slovenia I believe stopped the bus. They got on the bus which was dimly lit and had their guns drawn with lights illuminating from the end of their weapons. They were asking everyone for passports.

Mine was in the undercarriage. I got dragged off the bus pretty roughly and was told to kneel on the ground while the driver looked for my baggage. There were about 4 or 5 officers and 1 was behind me with his gun drawn toward me. It could have been for light but it still felt f*cking intimidating. After viewing my passport and lecturing me on always keeping it on me we went on our way.

Slovenia was not nice. Croatia was beautiful!”

7. Don’t get arrested in Africa

“Got arrested by military police in Angola. My idiot colleague was flying a drone where he wasn’t supposed to and the MPs came down with AK-47s and detained us for hours. They clearly wanted a bribe but my idiot colleague kept insisting that they weren’t corrupt because they were police. The MPs finally got sick of waiting for their bribe and freed us after saying that our hotel called and “verified our visas.” They didn’t even know our names or what hotel we were staying in.

We almost got arrested a second time because my idiot colleague started flying the drone around again immediately after we were released.”

8. Terrifying

“Saw a guy murdered at about 3 A.M. outside Rome’s main railway station. This was back in the 1980s. North African illegal immigrants got into a fight and three guys kicked and stomped another one to death.”

9. Top four

“I had lots of them. Here is my top four:

Got stopped at the Slovenian border on our way back from a holiday in croatia. They stopped us because we didn’t have a sticker for their road toll on the vehicle. As we were clearly on our way back, we were charged with dodging the toll both ways. A few border guards complete with guns and dogs also searched our car, because we might be smuggling drugs. Didn’t go down to well with my then 3-year old son, because they took his teddy bear and wanted to slice it open.

Took a night bus from Mumbay to Goa. First scary situation: We were told (after leaving) that we had to changes buses, once we left Mumbay. Got dropped of on pitch black parking lot somewhere. My wife and I were deathly afraid for about an hour, then the new bus rolled up. Next scary moment: Bus stopped for a toilet/smoke break. Jumped out of the bus, lit a cigarette, turned around and saw the bus driver. Huge eyes, wild hair and obviously on something that had kept him awake for the last week and would keep him awake for one more… Next scary moment: realizing that almost the whole way is up and down mountains. I do know about vehicles, especially trucks and busses. Seeing the bus the next morning, made my knees weak.

Went sightseeing in Cape Town. Rode a bus around, walked a bit (all in “safe” areas), took a few pictures. At a traffic light a white man whispered in my ear: “Those black dudes followed you for the last two blocks, as did I. Watch out!”. Went into a coffee shop, trying to calm our nerves. Left an hour later, none of the black dudes around. But the white guy was again following us. Ran to our car and drove off.

Got mugged somewhere in the sticks in Jamaica. when is on holiday there with my parents. Was with a tour going to some waterfall, suddenly there is guy with a machete in front of us, waving the blade and yelling stuff. Gave him all the money we had on us, as the tour guide was telling us to. In hindsight: Might have been a setup by the tour guide.”

10. The bus

“Travelling by bus across Java solo when I was 21. Night time driving in heavy traffic, the bus pulls on to a rail crossing in gridlock. you guessed it, the lights start flashing and the barriers come down in front and behind the bus. We can’t go forwards or backwards and we can see the light from a fast approaching train coming towards us.

Everyone started screaming and ran to the front door banging on the glass and begging the driver to open the door. He either couldn’t or wouldn’t. Longest couple of minutes of my life.

I decided the front of the bus was certain death, went right to the back instead and was contemplating at which moment I should start kicking the window out when someone said (in indonesian, luckily I speak it) ‘its on the other track’. there was a moment where we all held our breath..and then the train passed inches from the drivers window in front of hte bus on the other set of tracks.

Afterwards everyone sat down and started laughing like it was totally normal and we drove on. I was sitting in my seat with eyes the size of saucers no doubt! Stayed with me that one.”

11. Be careful

“I was travelling around Zambia on a three-month holiday on my own when I suddenly fell deathly ill whilst in a backpacker’s joint out in the bush. I was throwing up bile and could barely move until someone found me after almost a day and got me to the hospital in Lusaka which was an hour’s drive.

I was apparently severely dehydrated to the point that my skin was malleable like clay. The doctor had to hydrate me through a drip because I’d throw up anything I tried to drink or eat. Honestly it’s incredible how much I’ve appreciated water since that event. The memories are all a little hazy from the event but I recall being in my hospital bed and all I could think about was a tall glass of frosty water. Moral of the story is when travelling alone, be careful.”

12. Assault

“Posting for my sister.

Her and friends were out drinking in Paris and when it was time to go home the Uber app wasn’t working so they started walking back streets. A gang with their hoods up pulverizes some dude in front of them to the point of almost death. She says they are shocked, and the group starts coming at them, then runs right though her and her group of friends and around the corner.

They spent a few minutes picking up this guys shoes and trying to ask if he was ok (while he’s covered in blood) but they didn’t speak French so they left when other people arrived.

PSA: don’t walk down dark alleyways”

13. Trapped

“I was traveling abroad for the first time, also traveling without my parents for the first time, at 19 years old. I’d gone to Japan with my best friend, and we got two separate rooms at the little business hotel we were staying in about 30 minutes outside of Tokyo. Japanese hotel rooms do not (typically) have tubs the same length as those you would find in the US, but they are very deep.

I was taking a bath one night when I decided to slide down onto my back and dunk my hair to wash out the shampoo, since the little faucet situation wasn’t really working for me.

I ended up stuck and unable to get myself back up from under the water. I was only a biscuit under 5’5″ and fairly thin, I was just perfectly wedged in there. After flailing around I finally managed to grab something I could use to pull myself back up.

My next mistake was telling my mother about it the next day when we called to update our parents on our trip.”

14. Shakedown

“Phillipines, mid-1980s. Olangapo City.

Was stationed in Okinawa, had a chance for a brief leave and took it. Went alone. At the time was a cocksure U. S. Marine in my mid-20s, very physically fit, and thought I could handle any situation. By the way, Olangapo City was outside the former U. S. Air base. City was full of desperately poor thieves and hookers. Preamble complete.

Walking down the street on my way to the Air Force base, a man called out my first name. I ignored him. He then called out my first and last name. Again, I ignored him. He then repeated my name and added in my hometown. Now I’m curious, so I walked over and asked where he got this information. “Your friend from Okinawa is here. He’s drunk at a bar and sent me looking for you. He needs help! Come with me!”

Stupidly, I went with him. (It was believable, as a lot of Marines would get leaves to the Philippines. This stranger announced his name, and I did have a friend with the exact same name due to arrive in a few days.) We get in a trike (three wheeled motorcycle) and him and the driver take me to the really poor part of town. We stop at an alley filled with numerous stalls and bars meant for the locals. About a hundred feet down the alley, we enter a bar. “Looks like your friends in the bathroom… Can you buy us a beer while we wait?” I asked the bartender (young woman) for three beers. After ten minutes, I go looking in the bathroom to find it empty.

“Time for me to leave,” I announce as I returned to the bar. “How much for the beers?” The bigger of the two men says this is a “very special” bar, and each beer is the equivalent of twenty dollars. I laughed in his face, turned around, read the menu, and gave the bartender the payment plus a nice tip. When I turned around to leave, both men are on either side of the door with butterfly knives in their hands. “You go nowhere until you give us all your money,” the one said while waving the knife in the air.

“I’m an American! There’s a military base just down the road. You’re not gonna do a damned thing!” Mustering up all my courage, I walked past them, then up the alley to the main street. I finally turned around to look, and they were not following me. The adrenaline rush, shock, fear, and everything else hit me all at once and I began vomiting on the street.

Later that day I learned that the hotel staff would sell your private information to people. Also, their friendly little ‘chit-chat’ during check-in at the hotel was also sold. I checked into a new hotel later that day.”

15. Hitchhiking

“Oh man, got a couple of these.

Hitchhiking in Serbia, my friend and I got picked up by this neo-nazi dude going into Belgrade. Kept talking about how his countrymen were slaughtered by NATO pigs in the Balkan Wars. My friend and I were Danish and American – as in, from two of the nations most involved in said slaughter. Pretended we were Norwegian and Canadian for a very tense hour-long drive.

Hitchhiking from Bulgaria into Romania, same friend and I were stuck at the border, which was a huge bridge across the Danube, and nobody would pick us up for fear that we were smuggling shit. Finally, the border guards allowed us to walk across the bridge, though the closest thing it had to a pedestrian walkway was a narrow ledge for guards and construction workers, that halfway across turned to pieces of rubble and rebar sticking out of the side of the bridge that we had to walk on, with the water 60 feet below us in the middle of night.

On top of that, we were greeted on the other side by Romanian border guards with machine guns who were very agitated, since they had never seen anyone walk across the bridge and assumed we were crossing illegally.

Got picked up by a guy in France who spoke of nothing but how he was the second coming of Christ and all the other prophets were fakes. Bad vibes.

Hitchhiking in the US, got left in Ukiah, California for the night, a horrible creepy little meth-town. Walked to the edge of town to sleep in a park at about 2 in the morning – turns out it was more of a national park, with warning signs outside about mountain lions, rattle snakes, bears, murderous tweakers and a fucking rabid fox.

Went to sleep next to the path leading into the forest, when, in quick succession, an unidentified animal started circling us, some person wearing nothing but shorts, a t-shirt and a tiny backpack paces straight past us into the forest (at 3 in the morning, mind you) and some car kept getting turned on and off somewhere right behind us in the empty parking lot. Got creeped out, got out of there, met a couple nice homeless girls who let us sleep next to their car and told us we were fucking insane to go to sleep where we did, since the place was murder city.”

The post People Share the Scariest Situations They’ve Experienced While Traveling appeared first on UberFacts.

These Two-Sentence Horror Stories Might Get Your Heart Rate up

Ready to be creeped out?

These two-sentence horror tales prove that it doesn’t take a lot of words to set a mood – or make you want to scream.

These short stories couldn’t be any scarier, even if they had a couple thousands words to work with, just wait and see if I’m right.

10. Spooky.

I asked my dad why he hired such an old woman to babysit me when I was younger. from TwoSentenceHorror

9. It’s still happening.

We processed the tape, un-distorting its 278 hours (and counting) of background noise. from TwoSentenceHorror

8. Barf.

“I lost my friend in the recent mass shooting.” from TwoSentenceHorror

7. Okay ew.

String of unsolved disappearances in small Louisiana town continues to grow. from TwoSentenceHorror

6. Tricky tricky.

You wake up with no memory of anything, and the man in front of you says "What will be your last of the three wishes?" from TwoSentenceHorror

5. Maybe not.

We had all laughed at Uncle Ted for building a nuclear fallout shelter, but he was right afterall. from TwoSentenceHorror

4. Get ready to catch her.

“It’s a good thing I’m not scared of spiders”, she laughed nervously from the bathroom, “or your shower curtain would have made me pass out. “ from TwoSentenceHorror

3. I’ve heard that one before.

"My good friend, the keys to Area 51 were inside you all along!" from TwoSentenceHorror

2. Depressing and scary.

You’re all alone, but this man keep staring at you, and you know he wants to kill you. from TwoSentenceHorror

1. Nooooope.

The lights on the second floor didn’t work, and there was a painting of a disfigured, distorted man on the wall. from TwoSentenceHorror

 

Thanks internet! I didn’t want to sleep tonight anyway!

Good luck getting any shut eye now…

The post These Two-Sentence Horror Stories Might Get Your Heart Rate up appeared first on UberFacts.

These Two-Sentence Horror Stories Might Get Your Heart Rate up

Ready to be creeped out?

These two-sentence horror tales prove that it doesn’t take a lot of words to set a mood – or make you want to scream.

These short stories couldn’t be any scarier, even if they had a couple thousands words to work with, just wait and see if I’m right.

10. Spooky.

I asked my dad why he hired such an old woman to babysit me when I was younger. from TwoSentenceHorror

9. It’s still happening.

We processed the tape, un-distorting its 278 hours (and counting) of background noise. from TwoSentenceHorror

8. Barf.

“I lost my friend in the recent mass shooting.” from TwoSentenceHorror

7. Okay ew.

String of unsolved disappearances in small Louisiana town continues to grow. from TwoSentenceHorror

6. Tricky tricky.

You wake up with no memory of anything, and the man in front of you says "What will be your last of the three wishes?" from TwoSentenceHorror

5. Maybe not.

We had all laughed at Uncle Ted for building a nuclear fallout shelter, but he was right afterall. from TwoSentenceHorror

4. Get ready to catch her.

“It’s a good thing I’m not scared of spiders”, she laughed nervously from the bathroom, “or your shower curtain would have made me pass out. “ from TwoSentenceHorror

3. I’ve heard that one before.

"My good friend, the keys to Area 51 were inside you all along!" from TwoSentenceHorror

2. Depressing and scary.

You’re all alone, but this man keep staring at you, and you know he wants to kill you. from TwoSentenceHorror

1. Nooooope.

The lights on the second floor didn’t work, and there was a painting of a disfigured, distorted man on the wall. from TwoSentenceHorror

 

Thanks internet! I didn’t want to sleep tonight anyway!

Good luck getting any shut eye now…

The post These Two-Sentence Horror Stories Might Get Your Heart Rate up appeared first on UberFacts.

Las Vegas Is Dealing with a Grasshopper Invasion

Uh oh…prepare to never your houses again…

Have you ever seen the 1950s sci-fi classic Them! about an invasion of ants grown huge due to atomic radiation?

Photo Credit: Warner Bros.

Well, this story is kind of like that, except with grasshoppers…and these bugs are a little smaller, so don’t get too alarmed, okay? Also, no atomic radiation.

But the fact remains that Las Vegas, Nevada, is being overrun with massive hordes of grasshoppers. GRASSHOPPERS! EVERYWHERE!

These particular insects are called pallid-winged grasshoppers, and they aren’t messing around. An entomologist named Jeff Knight said that this type of grasshopper’s number increase after wet winters and springs, and the evidence is in the videos and photos that people are sharing from Las Vegas of the insects’ migration.

Nevada was one of the five wettest states in the first five months of 2019, double the national average. So, while it may be a normal-ish migration for these grasshoppers, people on social media are freaking the hell out – with good reason.

The good news? Jeff Knight said the insects don’t bite, don’t carry disease, and they won’t cause damage to anyone’s yard during their weeks-long invasion of Vegas.

Knight also said this isn’t the first time this has happened: “We have records clear from the ’60s of it happening, and I have seen it … at least four or five times in my 30-plus years. There are some special weather conditions that trigger the migration.”

Las Vegas is a very strange place…and it just got a little weirder.

The post Las Vegas Is Dealing with a Grasshopper Invasion appeared first on UberFacts.

People Are Growing out Their Toenails for Fashion. Prepare Yourself.

Fingernails? I get it. You want them to be pretty and you want to show them off to the world.

Toenails? Yikes. Especially the really long ones. They’re nightmare fuel. Also, how is this practical? Seems like you would constantly be tearing them or breaking them. Ouch.

Are these toenails real or fake? We’re no 100% sure, but we can say with confidence that we are pretty creeped out.

Enjoy!

1. Wowzers

2. My eyes!

3. Please be careful

4. Hmmmm

5. Gross

6. Ugh

7. Why?

8. Something might start living under those

9. Horror show

10. Another angle

11. OMG

12. This takes the cake

13. Just puked

14. Large and in charge

15. Okay, we’ve all had enough

View this post on Instagram

One word: BRIGHT! #toes #feet #longtoenails

A post shared by Empress Alexa (@thebarefootempress) on

Okay, time to bleach my eyeballs.

The post People Are Growing out Their Toenails for Fashion. Prepare Yourself. appeared first on UberFacts.

19 of the Most Satisfying Revenge Stories of All Time

Sometimes, people are rude. And rude people are just asking for petty vengeance. I know some of these 19 AskReddit tales of trifling retribution might seem over the top, but rudeness is simply not to be borne – not in civil society, anyway. In my experience, the only way a rude person learns to dial back the sass is by facing consequences. So I cheered as I read these stories, cheered for the cause of justice!

1. He wanted water…

Kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.

2. *GASP*

My sister posted a very anti-LGBT article on Facebook when the North Carolina bathroom bill was passed. She claimed she “no longer felt safe” shopping at Target if she might “be forced to use a bathroom” with a trans person. (The horror!)

So for her wedding the following month, I got her a Target gift card.

XOXO,

Your very gay brother ♥

3. That’s only fair

Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.

So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back.

He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.

4. lol, nice

My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS.. but anyway, I still have login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show “Cheaters.” Petty, but it makes me laugh.

5. Pop pop!

When I was a kid I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch “Handbook” – it was full of kiddie experiments and stuff and was pretty fun.

My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the ‘tricks’ from the book.

You fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, the kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil.

I put it under her bed, it takes a few days to “work”, so I completely forgot about it, until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering – it had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.

6. Mild irritation is the most fun level

My wife is very picky about the mugs she has for different hot drinks: Tall mugs for coffee, wide mugs for tea, dainty cups for fruit teas.

When she’s being irritating and asks for a cuppa she gets very plain, boring builders mugs and I delight at the mild irritation it brings.

7. Hello, Jim from The Office

Speeding up a coworker’s double click speed and watch him squirm when his normal double clicking speed isn’t working.

8. That’s a good point to stop

I once had a colleague I didn’t appreciate, so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would mess his curser right up. Kept it going for like 2 months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop.

9. Eff that guy

I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the prof told me tough luck.

Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions.

I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight up write stuff that makes no sense.

An example of the crap I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer’s factorial (4.22).

If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.

He retook that class.

10. What’d he do to you??

Listing a Playstation 4 as brand new on multiple second hand goods websites, for $50. I used my old landlord’s phone number as the contact number, ‘cos that guy was malicious.

He had to change numbers.

11. These are…genius. You’re a genius.

I have two with a previous landlord / property management company.

I signed a lease on a townhouse while in college that “included high speed internet” … the setup was basically one awful router for 14x townhouses (so like 28 people). Needless to say it was crap, and the location of our unit vs. the router made it worse. We made some calls to try and get them to add a router or hardwire us in so we could add our own. No dice.

Eventually I paid to get my own service and added 2x routers in our unit. I changed the SSID to match what the “free” router was, and kept the passwords the same… so to the residents it looked like there was better coverage.

After about two weeks I changed one router’s password and just disconnected the other. So some residents could use the “free” router, some had a bad password, and some could connect but couldn’t reach the outside world. They must have been flooded with calls because within 24 hours they had someone out and added 3x new routers to help with coverage.

The other was after a huge snowfall (~24″ in 24 hours) …. the property management company hadn’t touched the snow in our parking lot for days … after day 3 I called to mention we were sort of trapped and they needed to send trucks / snow blowers / etc to take care of things… the response I got was basically “Sorry, we’ll get to it sooner or later”.

… side note – years ago if you opened a yahoo email, you could add a second email for recovery without confirming it.

I created a new @yahoo email address and used their general @Xpropertymanagement as the alternate email. I had it copy every email to both. I then signed up for alerts for every time there was an ebay listing for “snow plow” “snow blower” “snow shovel” or there was a “sale on X snow removal” gear…. it took a matter of hours before thousands of emails were sent. Ended up crashing their email server.

They responded to all residents with a very nice email explaining they get the frustration, and they’re working on it…. so I paused the alerts. 24 hours later, still nothing, alerts back on. Another email, another pause, another day of nothing, repeat. Eventually we got the driveway plowed and life was good.

12. That’s crappy! 

We had a guy in our office take a crap in the bathroom every day after lunch and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn’t listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork so 5 minutes before he went in I took all the toilet paper…. that’s right. I forced the man to live with a dirty bottom.

13. Playing with Himself

I used to work as a sound tech part-time at a nearby bar when studying for my computer science degree. It was great fun and even kinda relevant to my degree (and gave me a great excuse to binge on audiophile equipment).

So basically every Friday night we would give a slot to a band from the college to perform for an hour or so, and this rich guy’s son would always turn up in some band or another. He had all the fanciest gear (Fender Strat, distortion pedals, etc.) but his technique sucked. But to anyone who would listen, he was the next Jimi Hendrix blah blah.

One thing about this guy was that he loved to pump his volume through the roof and play these crunchy chords with the distortion amped to the max, in the process drowning out the rest of his band members.

So instead of hooking up to the mixer and then through to the PA system, I just routed his signal through to his in-ear monitors, and every time he performed his “solo” he would gyrate around the stage for no apparent reason.

Really the most petty thing I’ve ever done, but revenge is sweet. (I heard he still plays amateur guitar through the grapevine)

14. Brat

My boyfriend’s uncle and 7 year old cousin live upstairs from us. His cousin has a tendency to be a little brat. I was holding her yorkie when she came over and yanked her from my arms.

No more than 20 minutes later I went out and bought some dog treats. Everyday when I come home I give the dog a treat. Now the dog waits by our door instead of her’s.

15. That’s gotta be detention!

This dude in my accounting class in high school used to ask me for answers to questions, only to spout them to the teacher like he’d worked them out, thereby looking like a genius and getting credit for my work.

One day our teacher comes into class with a pierced tongue and is talking sort of funny. Terry, as his name is, proceeds to use it as a point of conversation. “Hey miss, do you have any other piercings, like your ear?” “No,”, she responds, thinking he’s making inane conversation. “Would you get your nose pierced?” He keeps asking, just to prolong the time before class starts.

As usual, he leans over asking for help. “What are some other good things to ask her?” I was annoyed that he always asked for my help to benefit him, so I thought I’d have some fun. “Labia, ask if she’s going to get her labia pierced.” “What is a labia?” he says. “Oh, sorry, it means eyebrow, that’s like the piercing name for it. Like how a tragus is that nose piercing, yeah?” “Oh cool! Hey miss, are you going to get your labia pierced next?”

Every girl, and especially the teacher, in the class looked at him like he was trash, and he tried blaming me, but I brushed it off gracefully.

16. Wrecked

Back when I was studying engineering, it occurred to me to try and find an app on my iphone for those Panasonic projectors in lecture rooms. So I get the app and it just let me connect to the one in the class without a password or anything. I have a friend who is one of those perpetual pranksters, you can’t leave your pc or bag or food/drink unattended when he’s around.

So I beam a picture of him onto the projector, so the lecturer is just talking away and this goofy picture of my mate is on the screen. Lecturer doesn’t realise yet, people in the lecture start waking up and giggling a bit. Now I use the pen function and draw a penis on the picture too. Mate was red in the face and trying to hide. Lecturer finally noticed and says “Michael why is there a picture of you on the screen?”

Finally for a fleeting moment I actually wrecked that dude.

17. …pretty sketchy boss

I had a 6 month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total jerk that treated his school-interns like full paid workers (even gave me some concerning money-responsibilities).

A while after the internship he called to tell me I would have to give a statement at court.

He had a problem with some customer and a shipment and he planned to tell the court that he explained me everything concerning shippings precisely. Of course he didn’t. And of course I didn’t lie in front of the judge. My boss’ attorney gave me a look I will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn’t work out. Few weeks later my now ex-boss tried to call me again. I didn’t pick up.

18. Good, that guy sounds like a jerk.

Work related- My co-worker was always complaining and always lazy with his work, yet he got recognition for the simplest thing he would actually do. He also took credit for a full days work that was pretty much all me. I always got ignored. So one day, I came in early and I unplugged his Ethernet jack just barley to the point it looked like it was still plugged into his computer. For 4 hours he couldn’t do any work. Meanwhile, I got my work done, and he couldn’t take any credit for it since everyone knew he didn’t have Internet access. Half way through the day, he left on break, I plugged it back in and bam, just like this it was working. By then, he couldn’t claim my work, and I begun to get noticed more.

19. PWNED

When I was about 13, I was snooping around my older brother’s room and found a stack of 20 dollar bills stashed away. He was saving up from his high school job to buy a car. Hundreds of dollars. To 13-year old me it was a fortune, and I figured he wouldn’t notice if I stole just one 20 — still a lot of money to me. So I did.

For years I would remember it every once and a while and feel guilty. The worst part was, when I took the 20, he was also a teenage kid and probably knew exactly how much money was there. He probably knew I took one but let me get away with it because he figured I needed it. That made me feel much worse.

15 years later, I’m hanging around with him on the holidays. I see that he left his wallet on the counter, and he’s upstairs. I sneak into his wallet, see there’s a few 20s, and I slide an extra one in there. Got him!

The post 19 of the Most Satisfying Revenge Stories of All Time appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Weird, Wild Family Secrets That Embarrass Them to This Day

Some of these folks had to go through some seriously humiliating situations.

And it all started with a simple question: What’s the most embarrassing thing a parent has done to you?

Enjoy this cavalcade of craziness…

16. “Dad! Why can’t we go to the fair?!?”

Here’s a story that my dad never told me but my uncle shared after my dad passed.

He was madly in love with a girl when he was 17 years old. They were soul mates, lovers meant to be, engaged to be married and grow old together, all that sweet jazz.

They went to the county fair one year and decided to ride the Ferris Wheel. About the time they got to the top and started heading back down the safety bar came unhooked and swung open. My dad grabbed her and held onto the seat. He tried to hold her but he couldn’t.

She fell to her death.

My dad never mentioned it, never said a word to anyone, even to my mom. My uncle said her death broke his heart and he was never the same again, until after I was born.

He would never let me go to fairs, amusement parks, or any place with rides when I was growing up and we used to get into big fights about it when all my friends were going.

He always told me it was just because they were dangerous and didn’t want me to get hurt.

15. This art is s**t!

When I was six years old my mother used to babysit my neighbor Annie. Annie was a very artistic girl; she loved to color and draw everything she saw.

One day, I was playing Star Fox 64 on my Nintendo 64 and Annie was watching. Of course, being too absorbed in the game, I never turned around to see her greatest work of art.

My mom walks in the room to check on us and does a gasp to end all gasps. Annie had made a drawing of a triangular looking ship with a circle around it.

It was Star Fox doing a barrel roll except she made it with a load of diarrhea she scooped out of her pants.

14. The other child…

Apparently, our dad had another kid about eight years older than me.

My mom blurted something out about it after their divorce when she was pissed about something. It was along the lines of, “if he thinks he can forget you exist like that other kid of his.” She then turned very white and I was never able to get more out of her than that.

My dad pretends he doesn’t know what I’m talking about but has apparently told my brother a bit of the story and then backtracked and never talked about it again.

So yeah, apparently I’m not the oldest.

13. The clairvoyant kid!

A few weeks ago, I was getting breakfast ready for my three-year-old when he nonchalantly told me his Grandma fell down the stairs.

About an hour later, Grandpa calls us to tell us Grandma had fallen down the stairs.

Also last weekend, he said my sister was going to visit the next day.

Guess who showed up the next day for a “surprise” visit?

12. Harry Potter trash…

Back in the day (2005) I was 14 and I would print out my erotic Harry Potter fan fiction to read at night, as we didn’t have portable devices like smartphones back then. I always threw them away after.

One day my mom gave me a gigantic see-through bag for trash and that night I read some of the good stuff and then put it in there.

There was probably like 15 pages of printed out smut. While I was at school she rooted through my trash.

She confronted me when I came home like “Why are Fred and George getting intimate with Hermione? What are these stories?? Where do you get them? Are they all like this??”

So so bad. I think I died and I’ve been a ghost for the last 13 years.

11. This one just keeps getting weirder and weirder…

My mom once pulled up my skirt, causing me to involuntarily flash a room full of people, at a family Christmas dinner.

I was absolutely mortified. She wanted to check for any potential self-harm scars on my thighs, apparently. I’ve never physically harmed myself before in my entire life.

I was 18 years old at the time, and thankfully I was wearing underwear so it was not as bad as it could have been.

Nevertheless, she should not be allowed to consume alcohol ever again.

10. Ignoring the eating disorder…

My family never talks about my sister’s eating disorder. She eats a ton and goes on to vomit. She goes jogging for one hour or more per day (every day, no breaks even though her knees hurt like crazy) and refuses to eat any carbs, fruits and vegetables only.

I seem to be the only one who realizes the magnitude of this, and the only one who thinks of this as a sickness, not as a “temporary phase.”

It’s been like this for three years already, and I have no idea when my parents noticed. Whenever I say something I get “shushed” at and later have to justify my “insensitive behavior” in front of my parents. So I just kind of gave up on arguing.

Not sure what I can do to change things without disrupting the family.

9. A dog with amazing comedic timing!

One Thanksgiving, my grandmother ran out of counter space and stuff was sorta burning like crazy on top of the stove. She took out the turkey on the tray, looked around, and put it on the ground for like three seconds.

She intended for it to be there for three seconds.

Her dog, Rosco, had been following her all day.

Earlier she tossed him a turkey giblet, and I guess that didn’t sit well with him. He defecated all over my grandma’s leg, floor, and freshly-cooked turkey in one explosive two-second blast of fiery diarrhea.

8. Who’s the monster?

My three-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother, looked at him for a while.

Then she turned to me and said, “Daddy, it’s a monster! We should bury it.”

I didn’t bury it.

7. That YouTube search history tho…

That when my daughter was five or six years old, she would look up videos of dogs throwing up or stallions urinating, based on her YouTube history.

I never directly spoke to her about this but have always told her that she can always talk to me about any questions she had about any subject with no judgment from me.

She’s 14 now and I still haven’t said a word.

6. Bad, bad, bad dad!

My dad, influenced at least in part by the movie Bad Boys II, decided to mess with my boyfriend on my first date by acting like a tough guy.

He filled a whiskey bottle with tea and, when he answered the door, he started chugging down the whole thing while scanning my boyfriend up and down.

He then tried to break the bottle over his own head. The date was canceled due to the ensuing hospital trip, and I became known as the girl with a totally insane father.

“Don’t concuss yourself this time, Dad!” became the running joke in my house once I was able to get a date again.

5. Grandma, the slacker…

My grandmother said she needed a place to stay one night due to issues with her housemate.

She slept on the couch… for the next ten years.

Made no effort to get her own place despite having a very good retirement income and still working part-time as a nurse.

Loved to hit the casino though!

4. Joke’s on you, parents!

It’s one in the morning. I’m fast asleep with my wife in the living room reading.

All of the sudden, the baby monitor is blaring my 16-month-old son’s laughter into my ear. So I jump up, run into his room, and he’s standing in his crib pointing at the corner of the room and giggling hysterically.

I just stared at him for a few seconds before I grabbed him and put him in bed with me.

3. That last part, tho…

About a year ago, my parents caught me singing to my microwave while I was waiting for it to warm up a piece of pizza.

This all happened at 4 in the morning, when I thought my parents were staying at a friend’s.

Oh, I almost forgot that I was naked.

2. The war at home!

My uncle and grandfather don’t have a good relationship but were tolerating each other because it was Thanksgiving. My uncle was cooking lasagna and my grandfather decided to help, so he grated the cheese. He did this in another room, because the kitchen was full of other people cooking, we have a big Thanksgiving with maybe 15 or 20 who love to eat.

I had brought in the cheese and everything was going fine. Flashforward to dinner time, the food is coming out and, as tradition dictates, we always start with lasagna. My grandfather made some joke like,” I know you hate me, but at least I’m grate,” and stuff hit the fan.

My uncle literally went into a rage and was yelling at everyone because we didn’t tell him he was using “tainted” cheese. Then said “f*** it” and proceeded to flip the table ALL the food was on. Then my grandfather called him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two grown men fist fighting in the backyard, culminating with my grandad getting thrown into the pond we lived off of, and slicing his leg on a jagged rock that he landed on.

The rest of us ordered Chinese food and kicked my uncle out. My grandfather refused the hospital because he had a little too much “holiday joy” in him at the time.

Surprising my uncle hasn’t come to holidays in years now.

1. Hugs, not drugs…

When I was 11 years old, I was taken in by the police for questioning regarding illicit substances distribution that had been taking place out of our family’s house.

My dad had marijuana growing in the basement, and he had been using it as well as selling it frequently to neighbors and friends.

When the police raided the house while my dad was at work, they asked me if I knew anything about what was in the room. Since I admitted to having had knowledge of it, I guess that that was all it took for them to feel the need to bring me in for questioning. They even cuffed me and everything.

My dad didn’t show up at the police station till almost eight hours later.

As you can imagine, in a small town like the one where I grew up, people talked. A lot. It also didn’t help that I lived next to a massive apartment complex where everyone could see what was happening the entire time as it was unfolding.

I was the talk of the town for almost two years because of this incident.

Isn’t it nuts that the last story probably wouldn’t happen these days? Well, at least in some states?

So much time, energy and money wasted on the war against marijuana.

*sigh*

The post People Share the Weird, Wild Family Secrets That Embarrass Them to This Day appeared first on UberFacts.