Category: Weird

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20 Funny Insults That Only Really Work in German

German is a kind of an odd language. There are lots of vowels, and in order to speak it correctly, you kind of have to sound as angry as possible. Plus the words get really, really long.

It turns out, though, that their insults are surprisingly creative and funny.

So the next time you really want to let someone have it, try doing it in German!

20. I broke up with him because everyone knows he’s a “pleasure newt.”

A lustmolch is someone obsessed with sex, but it literally translates to “pleasure newt.”

19. Don’t hire that “driller of thin planks.”

If you refer to someone as a dunnbretthohrer, he’s someone who takes the laziest route possible, not the best.

18. Stop being such a “brain denier.”

In other words, use your smarts, gehirnverweigerer.

17. She’s a real “gossip aunt.”

Someone who likes to gossip and spread rumors is a tratschtante.

16. His daughter is a “little snot spoon.”

A rotzloffel is a brat.

15. What a “butt violin.”

An arschgeige is someone who doesn’t perform a task up to par.

14. That guy is nothing but a “butt with ears.”

A total, blithering idiot, otherwise known as an arsch mit ohren.

13. Eh, he’s such an “asparagus Tarzan.”

This one might be one of my favorites – spargeltarzan refers to someone tall and gangly.

12. He’s “someone who waves back at Teletubbies.”

Y’all, I cannot with this one, used to describe someone who just isn’t too bright – teletubbyzuruckwinker.

11. Did you see that “varnish monkey”?

A lackaffe is a man who dresses garishly in public (not that it’s anyone’s business).

10. Stop being a “banana bender.”

If you’re spinning your wheels engaging in a pointless task, someone in Germany might call you a bananenbieger.

9. She’s nothing but an “evolutionary brake.”

If someone is so dumb they’re threatening the evolution of all human life, they’re ripe to be called an evolutionsbremse.

8. You’re a “lump of puke.”

A simple kotzbrocken should do the trick if you’re short on time.

7. She was a bit of a “guzzling woodpecker” at the office Christmas party.

Someone who hits the bottle a bit too hard is a schluckspecht.

6. Hurry up, you “bag of whale blubber.”

If someone is driving like a grandma in front you during your commute, bust out a well-timed trantute.

5. An “ant tattooist.”

For all of the nit pickers in your life who obsess over tiny little details, you’ve got a new one – they’re an ameisentätowierer.

4. When push comes to shove, she’s a “trouser-pooper.”

A hosenscheisser is a coward of the worst order.

3. Instead of “full of hot air,” the Germans prefer to call someone a “hot air gun” or a “babble bag.”

Heissleuftgeblas or labertasche refers to someone who talks a lot about nothing.

2. Somebody is a “smelly boot” today.

I’m definitely going to start using stinkstiefel to refer to the grumps in my life.

1. Her face just invites a slap.

Ever meet someone who’s face just makes you want to slap them? Yes? Now you have a word for that – it’s backpfeifengesicht.

 

I honestly had no idea I could laugh this hard and something that originated in Germany.

I wonder if they make Germans laugh.

Probably not.

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Meet the Golden Retriever Puppy Who Emerged a Lovely Shade of…Green

In a strange plot twist that seems more worthy of Oz than plain old Earth, a regularly-colored golden retriever has given birth to a green puppy.

Just one – the other eight members of the litter were all hued similarly to their parents (and presumably, their parents before them).

Little Mojito was born just before Halloween in Wermelskirchen, Germany, and his owner, Joanna Justice, was at first concerned about his mint-green coloring. He was healthy, though, as were his litter mates.

Dr. Christian Dimitriadis assured Joanna (and all of us) that the puppy’s green fur would likely grow out and disappear, turning white the second time around.

Though green puppies are rare, they’re not entirely unheard of – the same week, a shamrock-colored great Dane was born in the U.S. – and another green golden retriever pup was born in Scotland in 2017.

Veterinarians and other scientists aren’t entirely sure why some puppies are born green, though most believe it has to do with bile pigment biliverdin exposure in the womb. This is why it’s most often seen in white dogs – the pigment has a better chance of being seen in a light-colored coat.

Biliverdin can be found in the bile, bruises, and placenta of dogs, and it shows up in other biological phenomena, as well – even in the 6-million-year-old shells of dinosaur eggs.

So anyway, I assume this mama dog loved her green baby the same as the rest – a sentiment I hope would be shared should a human child come out green, but you never know.

Not everyone grew up dreaming of a visit to Oz, herself.

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Put Your Own Face on Your Luggage and You’ll Never Lose It Again

You’ve tried everything – a red ribbon, brightly colored luggage, your name and address – but have you considering just screen-printing your mug right on your bags so you can easily spot them at the airport?

Probably not. But here’s the thing…absolutely no one will mistakenly pick up your bag if you do.

Travel + Leisure reports that a company called Firebox is offering a product they call Head Case, which isn’t quite a screen printed suitcase – rather, it’s a stretchy spandex cover that goes around your bag.

Like a boss.

The image is on both sides, the cover buckles in place, and there are holes for all of your handles – plus there are three sizes to choose from. Prices range from $26 to $39 apiece.

I mean really…what’s not to like?

And if you, like me, have realized that this product is ready made for pranking friends and family, listen up – they also print on pillows, air fresheners, and creepy masks.

Go hog wild, my friends. And I promise if you get those luggage covers you’ll make at least a few friends the next time you take an airplane or check into hotel.

I mean. Who could resist that face, right?

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Put Your Own Face on Your Luggage and You’ll Never Lose It Again

You’ve tried everything – a red ribbon, brightly colored luggage, your name and address – but have you considering just screen-printing your mug right on your bags so you can easily spot them at the airport?

Probably not. But here’s the thing…absolutely no one will mistakenly pick up your bag if you do.

Travel + Leisure reports that a company called Firebox is offering a product they call Head Case, which isn’t quite a screen printed suitcase – rather, it’s a stretchy spandex cover that goes around your bag.

Like a boss.

The image is on both sides, the cover buckles in place, and there are holes for all of your handles – plus there are three sizes to choose from. Prices range from $26 to $39 apiece.

I mean really…what’s not to like?

And if you, like me, have realized that this product is ready made for pranking friends and family, listen up – they also print on pillows, air fresheners, and creepy masks.

Go hog wild, my friends. And I promise if you get those luggage covers you’ll make at least a few friends the next time you take an airplane or check into hotel.

I mean. Who could resist that face, right?

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The Mystery of the Bermuda Triangle Has Been Solved

The mystery of why things – ships, people, maybe even entire civilizations – seem to disappear over one particular barren section of ocean has captured the minds of the public and conspiracy theorists alike. We’re talking about the Bermuda Triangle, obviously.

The truth is that while ships and planes go missing fairly regularly in the BT, they do not do so more often in the triangle of sea between Puerto Rico, Bermuda, and Florida than they do anywhere else.

Like, we don’t really know why the myth got so out of control, but there is not and never has been any statistical significance to the area at all.

Despite scientists knowing the truth of this fact, when things do happen to go missing in the area, reports often don’t neglect to take facts into consideration. Maybe to make a buck on the sensational aspect?

After a recent event, however, many are hopeful that it’s finally time to dismiss the harebrained theory once and for all.

During an on-air interview with news.com.au, well known Australian scientist Karl Kruszelnicki said in no uncertain terms that the number of boats and other vessels that disappear in the triangle “is the same as anywhere else in the world on a percentage basis.”

“It is close to the equator, near a wealthy part of the world, America, therefore you have a lot of traffic.”

According to Kruszelnicki, the myth can be traced back to a number of disappearances in the area between WWI and WWII. People started to get weirded out about the incidents even though the weather was often terrible and the craft weren’t reliable. In addition, pilots at the time weren’t as efficient or well-trained, and therefore were more likely to make catastrophic mistakes (like being drunk while they flew).

The fact that wreckage and remains were rarely found makes sense, too, given that it’s a large area and the water is quite deep in most places.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) also maintains there’s nothing to see there – not even the Triangle itself, if you want to get technical. They agree that environmental conditions could explain many, if not all of, the disappearances, but they also reiterate that the “US Board of Geographic Names does not recognize the Bermuda Triangle as an official name and does not maintain an official file on the area.”

Lol.

So, it’s time we put the whole theory to rest once and for all and stop blaming perfectly normal, but tragic events on the supernatural or whatever.

“There is no evidence…that mysterious disappearances occur with any greater frequency in the Bermuda Triangle than in any other larges, well-traveled area of the ocean,” NOAA states.

Make no bones about it, there’s nothing to see here.

The post The Mystery of the Bermuda Triangle Has Been Solved appeared first on UberFacts.

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The Mystery of the Bermuda Triangle Has Been Solved

The mystery of why things – ships, people, maybe even entire civilizations – seem to disappear over one particular barren section of ocean has captured the minds of the public and conspiracy theorists alike. We’re talking about the Bermuda Triangle, obviously.

The truth is that while ships and planes go missing fairly regularly in the BT, they do not do so more often in the triangle of sea between Puerto Rico, Bermuda, and Florida than they do anywhere else.

Like, we don’t really know why the myth got so out of control, but there is not and never has been any statistical significance to the area at all.

Despite scientists knowing the truth of this fact, when things do happen to go missing in the area, reports often don’t neglect to take facts into consideration. Maybe to make a buck on the sensational aspect?

After a recent event, however, many are hopeful that it’s finally time to dismiss the harebrained theory once and for all.

During an on-air interview with news.com.au, well known Australian scientist Karl Kruszelnicki said in no uncertain terms that the number of boats and other vessels that disappear in the triangle “is the same as anywhere else in the world on a percentage basis.”

“It is close to the equator, near a wealthy part of the world, America, therefore you have a lot of traffic.”

According to Kruszelnicki, the myth can be traced back to a number of disappearances in the area between WWI and WWII. People started to get weirded out about the incidents even though the weather was often terrible and the craft weren’t reliable. In addition, pilots at the time weren’t as efficient or well-trained, and therefore were more likely to make catastrophic mistakes (like being drunk while they flew).

The fact that wreckage and remains were rarely found makes sense, too, given that it’s a large area and the water is quite deep in most places.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) also maintains there’s nothing to see there – not even the Triangle itself, if you want to get technical. They agree that environmental conditions could explain many, if not all of, the disappearances, but they also reiterate that the “US Board of Geographic Names does not recognize the Bermuda Triangle as an official name and does not maintain an official file on the area.”

Lol.

So, it’s time we put the whole theory to rest once and for all and stop blaming perfectly normal, but tragic events on the supernatural or whatever.

“There is no evidence…that mysterious disappearances occur with any greater frequency in the Bermuda Triangle than in any other larges, well-traveled area of the ocean,” NOAA states.

Make no bones about it, there’s nothing to see here.

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Shocker: Hitting the “Close Door” Button on an Elevator Does Nothing at All

You’ve been here: you decided to wait on the elevator even though you’re running late, but it took forever to show up, and now you’re standing there waiting for the stupid doors to close, wishing the whole time that you’d taken the stairs.

You jab the “close door” icon repeatedly, and a rush of satisfaction rolls through you when, after a pause, the doors follow your internally screamed command.

Except…the button didn’t actually do anything. Just fyi.

The executive director of the National Elevator Industry trade group admitted recently that the close door button has been disabled on all U.S. elevators for a very long time, thanks for the Americans with Disabilities Act. Passed in 1990, the law requires elevators doors remain open long enough to anyone who needs assistance or using a mobility device to get safely in or out.

Since the majority of elevators out there are under 25 years old, the chances of snagging one with working close door buttons is just about nil.

Which should also make you feel good because your elevator is less than 25 years old.

But why bother to put them in new elevators if they’re not going to work?

Well, according to Drexel University professor John Kounios, it’s because the “white lie” of being able to hit the button is actually helpful.

“A perceived lack of control is associated with depression, so perhaps this is mildly therapeutic.”

Or at least, it was before you clicked on this article.

There’s good news, though – if you think you’ve been a generous, thoughtful person in holding the elevator doors open for people, you totally are.

Because those buttons are still functioning just fine.

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People Share 15 Stories of Intense Hallucinations Caused by Sleep Deprivation

It is used as a torture technique (by some), and if you’ve ever been a new parent experiencing chronic sleep deprivation or someone with an illness causing acute or chronic sleeplessness, you probably already know that it’s no joke.

If it’s never happened to you, though, the intensity of these 15 hallucinations should definitely convince you to be eternally grateful for that fact.

15. As long as you don’t start to feed it.

Comment from discussion lenadelray’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

14. When even keeping your eyes open doesn’t help.

Comment from discussion FirstThoughtResponse’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

13. You kind of ARE going crazy.

Comment from discussion damndingashrubbery’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

12. Like deja vu you just can’t shake.

Comment from discussion -DementedAvenger-‘s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

11. When you have no idea what day it is. Or was.

Comment from discussion dwil22’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

10. Ever thought about what your donut delivery might be costing someone?

Comment from discussion LunaticSongXIV’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

9. Try unpacking that in therapy.

Comment from discussion _-No0ne-_’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

8. When you start to hear (the wrong) colors.

Comment from discussion sleepyprojectionist’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

7. It’s always the cats.

Comment from discussion MistressLyda’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

6. A horror story, for real.

Comment from discussion pachocanadian’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

5. Why a construction worker? Brains are weird.

Comment from discussion salem-sunset’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

4. This is your brain on drugs…and no sleep.

Comment from discussion eggosandnosebleeds’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

3. Do not recommend.

Comment from discussion DeadFamilyMan’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

2. Creepy as hell.

Comment from discussion ShootyMcSnipe’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

1. Time to pull over.

Comment from discussion wildgoose2000’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

I’ve been tired, even sleep-deprived, but never like this. Thank goodness.

Do you have any horror stories that resulted from too little sleep?

Share with us in the comments!

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13 of the Strangest Conspiracy Theories You’ve Probably Never Heard About

Conspiracy theories seem to be everywhere, but, sadly (or – actually – probably for the best), most of them fly under the radar for most of us. Unless something happens that places them in the mainstream consciousness, only a select few followers of said beliefs ever even know they exist.

And let me tell you, after you check some of these out, you’re going to be sorry you weren’t let in on the secrets sooner.

As told by the Buzzfeed Community.

13. Ronald Reagan did away with the birds. All of them.

All birds died in 1986 and were replaced with drones to spy on the public.

12. Leonardo DiCaprio had something to do with River Phoenix’s death.

Shortly after his Oscar nomination for Running on Empty, River Phoenix was asked what movie he wanted to do next. He pulled out a copy of The Basketball Diaries and said, “I want to play Jim Carroll.” Phoenix would have done anything to get this role, but apparently Leo DiCaprio wanted it as well. That’s why he played a part in Phoenix’s fatal overdose.

In fact, Leo has even admitted to seeing Phoenix at a party in LA the night he died. After his untimely death, the role of Jim Carroll went to Leo DiCaprio, which helped launch him into superstardom.

11. The Red Cross isn’t using your blood the way you think.

 

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Something sinister is going on with the blood donations the Red Cross collects. Sometimes they sell it for profit, and other times the government uses it for biowarfare testing. Most shockingly, the Illuminati uses it for satanic rituals.

10. Stevie Wonder isn’t really blind.

A lot of people believe this one. Donald Glover even got a little suspicious after meeting Stevie Wonder a few times. He claimed that some things just weren’t adding up. Interesting!

9. Big Pharma is hiding cures for diseases like cancer and HIV.

 

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This one is simple: the pharmaceutical industry makes billions and billions of dollars each year, so they have no interest in releasing the already-existing vaccines. Unfortunately, lifetime treatments for an “incurable” disease are way more lucrative for them.

8. J.K. Rowling is hiding a big secret.

Some people believe that J.K. Rowling didn’t actually write the Harry Potter books. Instead, they were ghost-written by a giant group people. This conspiracy theory goes one step further and claims that Rowling is actually Rita Skeeter, and she wrote the stories of Harry Potter after being banished from the Wizarding World.

7. Men in Black is based in real life.

 

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Aliens exist, and the government is trying to cover it up. They have a secret organization, almost identical to the one in Men in Black, whose job is to destroy all evidence and memory of alien lifeforms.

6. Coke and Pepsi are one and the same.

Apparently the rivalry between each company is completely fake. It’s simply used as a ploy to get people to take sides and buy more of each product. That way the people who secretly own both companies will make even more money.

5. Ancestry DNA (and like services) are owned by the government, who wants to build genetic models of every citizen.

Ancestry DNA kits are actually kind of genius. Not only are you paying to give the government samples of your DNA, but you’re also letting them do research on you and your family. Now they can track you, learn about your genetics, and keep records of your extremely personal information.

4. The government is trying to convince you to shave off your beard so it won’t mess with facial recognition software.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. It’s hard for the government to keep tabs on humans if their facial recognition software doesn’t work, so they anonymously claimed that beards were unsanitary, in hopes that people would shave them.

3. The real Paul McCartney died in 1966.

This one is dark. Apparently Paul McCartney died in a car crash in 1966. He was then replaced by a lookalike because the band’s managers thought there’d be an uptake in suicides if people found out the truth about his death. The other Beatles members apparently referred to the lookalike as “Faul,” a combination of the words “fake Paul.”

2. Television was created as a grand distraction from the events of real life.

The first American TV stations came into existence in the late ’20s and early ’30s, but televisions weren’t commercially sold until about 1938. Around the same time, the government was making a lot of mistakes and needed to distract the public from what was really going on. Interesting.

1. All of reality is an illusion a la The Truman Show.

 

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Reality is an illusion. Every decision you’ve ever made, everything you’ve ever seen or believed, and everything in existence (even the entire universe) is fake. Essentially, we’re all stuck in a computer game and someone has been controlling us.

You’re off to do more research now, aren’t you?

I know I am!

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This Is Why You Can’t Get a McRib Any Time You Want

The McRib.

I know there are people out there who love it, crave it, and count the days until it returns, even after the rather startling (if not surprising) truth about its ingredients is now public knowledge.

But if so many people are ready to fork over their cash year-round, why does McDonald’s insist on holding out?

Well, you’re about to find out, so hold onto your Happy Meals, my friends…

It’s not as surprising as you might think. Basically, it’s all about the marketing.

According to CNN, McDonald’s doesn’t actually believe you’d buy the McRib year round; they think the seasonal nature of the product is exactly what makes it so popular.

When fast food chains employ a “limited run” item, they know diners are more motivated to make time to grab not just one, but several, while it’s in season – something they might not do if it were available any ol’ time.

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Finally!!!!!! #mcrib #seasonal #iamloved

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The McRib first appeared in 1981, but it didn’t do well, so McDonald’s removed it from the menu in 1985. When it returned in 1994, people gave it more of a chance, and by 2005, it became a regular on McDonald’s recurring menu. Consumers should also know the sandwich contains 70 different ingredients, which include, “pig bits like tripe, heart, and scalded stomach.” Add in some azodicarbonamide, ammonium sulfate, ethoxylated mono- and diglycerides and more.

Nowadays, people are actively excited when it comes back around, instead of feeling like it’s just one of many options they could get whenever.

And if you’re looking to cash in on the latest McRib season, please enjoy yourself responsibly – and if you’re anything like me, don’t forget your antacid.

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