People Share the Strange Things They Believed as Kids

Think back to when you were just a little kid…

If you can remember, you probably recall that you thought about AND believed all kinds of weird stuff. Don’t try to deny it!

What strange things do you believe when you were a kid?

Let’s see what people had to say about this.

1. Don’t touch those!

Or else…

2. I’m getting bigger!

I would be a giant by now.

3. What do you mean I don’t need them?!?!

That is bad news…

4. Eat the crust.

Never skip it!

5. You’re in for a big surprise.

It could go any way!

6. That’s why it’s called a “restroom”.

Now I want one of these.

7. That’s a racist song!

Oh, wait…never mind.

8. Not for everyone…

I don’t think I could pull that off.

9. Looking up to the sky.

That’s a big boat.

10. That’s one huge conveyor belt.

Kids sure do think funny, huh?

11. The woman in the toaster.

Well, isn’t that adorable?!?!

12. Worried about the “holey” priests.

What’s gonna happen to them?!?!

13. Three big things.

I really like the one about the sting rays.

Now we want to hear from you.

Yeah, you!

In the comments, tell us about the strange things that you believed when you were a kid. Thanks in advance!

The post People Share the Strange Things They Believed as Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

Take a Look at These Really Bad Bootleg Items

I know that I’m not alone in my love for bootleg items of all kinds…

You’re with me, right?!?!

I thought you would be!

What’s not to love? They’re funny, goofy, and also totally ridiculous.

And right now, I’m in the mood to laugh at some funny bootlegs that really miss the mark in a major way. Would you like to join me on this adventure?

Let’s do it together!

1. The fidget spinner might have jumped the shark with this one.

It is kind of funny, though.

2. This is just plain weird.

Who would’ve thunk it?

3. The Incredible Fella.

Hmmmm. Something seems OFF here.

4. Jesus…are you okay?

He seems a little bit weird lately.

5. Blue Speed Mouse.

You know him. You love him. Now you can dress like him.

6. This is quite terrifying.

No child is going to want this thing.

7. A Garfield/E.T. mashup…

That no one on the planet asked for.

8. Just plain weird.

Combining pop culture icons seems to be a big thing in the bootleg world.

9. All kinds of Nike rip-offs.

Which one is your favorite?

10. I’d give these a shot.

Salt and potato? That’s a flavor?

11. What is happening here?

Can anyone fill me in? I’m scared…

12. There it is!

That’s Asia, right?

13. King of the Magic Rings.

This is a little bit AWKWARD.

Yeesh…those are not pretty…

And now it’s your turn!

In the comments, share some pics of the worst bootleg items you’ve ever seen.

We can’t wait to see what you come up with!

The post Take a Look at These Really Bad Bootleg Items appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny Examples of Really Bad Bootleg Items

I still distinctly remember when Guns N’ Roses and Metallica played at Arrowhead Stadium when I was young…and I was not allowed to go…

The reason I was not allowed to go will not be explored in this article, but all I can say is that I’m still not over it…

But back to my point: at school, the day after the concert, TONS of kids who had been there had concert shirts on…but some of them looked like cheap imitations…and that’s how I learned about the wonderful world of bootleg items!

Now, are you ready to see some pretty funny bootleg examples?

Let’s take a look.

1. Transformable Tomas.

Your kid is gonna love it!

2. A lot going on here.

I need some time to think about this…

3. Did E.T. really ride in a sidecar?

I don’t remember it that way…

4. That’s a strange-looking Ninja Turtle.

Is that supposed to be Donatello?

5. I’m just so confused…

He-Man! What do you think you’re doing?!?!

6. I’m a huge fan of The Sampsons.

Boy and Mom are my favorite characters.

7. A total nightmare.

Would you let your kid get near this thing? I didn’t think so…

8. Does whatever a sipdre can!

My favorite superhero.

9. Hmmm. Very confusing.

I kind of see what they’re going for here…

10. I can picture these on an older gentleman in Florida.

Just try to picture it…

11. I thought he was called something else…

But, I guess I’m wrong. Again.

12. A Tick Tock Orange Juice.

Remember that classic film?

Yeah, I’d say those are pretty bad…

And now we want to hear from you!

Share some more examples of bad bootleg items in the comments.

Thanks a lot!

The post Funny Examples of Really Bad Bootleg Items appeared first on UberFacts.

What Scares You as an Adult That Didn’t Bother You as a Youngster? Here’s What People Said.

It’s pretty interesting how our fears and worries change as we get older.

When you’re young and you think you’re invincible, all the scary stuff out there just seems to roll off your back. And then you get a little bit older and you get a little more worried about, well…everything.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Folks on AskReddit talked about the things that scare them as adults that didn’t bother them much when they were young. Let’s take a look.

1. Not as much fun anymore.

“Signs of aging.

When you’re a kid, getting older means new and exciting changes.

When you’re in your 30s and older, it means far less fun things.”

2. Life is hard.

“Needing help or advice. I’m a grown adult now, 34, and my mom and dad have since passed on.

When I run into a problem with an appliance or a home repair or need help with a recipe, it always takes me a minute to remember they aren’t here anymore.

Really sucks having no one to lean on when things get hard. My mom used to just give me $100 without question when I’d be hard up for money. No more bank-of-mom. if I run out of money now I’m just f*cked until payday.”

3. Slow down!

“Traveling in a car, especially if I’m not the one driving.

7 year old me: Man it’s amazing how many adults are smart enough to run hundreds of cars around the city going super fast and not hit each other!

Adult me: uhhhhhhh….”

4. Be careful.

“Jumping down from a height greater than a few feet.

As a kid I could jump off a roof and roll with it, nowadays if I land funny I fear I’ll be paralyzed for life.”

5. Oh God, no!

“A tooth falling out. As a kid it was gross, funny and painful all at once. As an adult, horrifying.

My dentist said that a couple of my teeth are “a little mobile.” Then he said it’s nothing to really worry about, as if hearing “teeth” and “mobile” in the same sentence is ever good.”

6. A fact of life.

“When you are a child, you see for parents mortality as something so far away and that eventually you will be prepared

But it’s never the case, recently my grandmother died after a long disease and what it strike me the most was the reaction from my mom, she said “no somos nada”, “we are nothing”, she was devastated and then it comes to my mind, one day I would be the one on her shoes and she will be on the coffin.

The hard part is that, that is the best result, that you bury your parents not the other way around.”

7. Protect your noggin.

“Head injuries.

As a kid, I thought broken bones were the big thing to worry about, because I could visualize what that was; I had no sense for the severity of brain injuries.

As an adult, protecting my noggin is my number one injury concern, because the human machine don’t work with a damaged processor.”

8. Time is precious.

“Lack of time.

As a kid, felt like I had all the time in the world.

As an adult, I feel like I have no time to do anything other than work.”

9. EVERYTHING.

“I bought a house a couple years ago. Literally everything scares me now.

It’s raining? Probably gonna flood the basement.

Windy? Tree’s gonna fall on the house.

Weird smell? Probably an electrical fire.

Leave the house for literally 5 minutes? Obviously going to explode due to a gas leak.”

10. Not a thrillseeker anymore.

“Roller coasters.

I used to ride them all summer long because I had a six flags summer pass. I went a few years ago with my younger sister. It wasn’t fun anymore. I just kept feeling like I was going to die.

I ended up holding purses, and keeping my feet on the ground. I never understood why my mom would just wait for me, but I get it now.”

11. Yeah, pretty scary.

“I had no fear of U-Hauls until I rented a U-Haul.

I filled out all of my information online and they gave me the keys to a 27 foot box truck. No training. No anything. They’ll just let anyone take these massive vehicles and drive them off the lot.

Give them a wide berth.”

12. Aging.

“Honestly, just getting older. I’m only 36 but I just don’t want to be an “old person.” I fear my daughter is already starting to see me that way, but I do everything I can to fight it.

One disc in my back is permanently injured from a car wreck 12 years ago, one knee is bad from playing with a nephew 14 years ago.

I want to be the strong hero my daughter needs as she grows up but I fear these will really catch up to me in the coming years.”

13. Under the knife.

“Anesthesia.

As a kid, I was led to believe that it was something magical that happened to you when you got your tonsils out, and then afterwards, you could eat all the ice cream you wanted!

Now that I’ve had it as an adult and know that there’s always a possibility it could go horribly wrong, I get really antsy and scared just thinking about it.”

14. Avoid it if possible.

“Anything related to going to the hospital.

When I was a kid, I was always in the emergency room with a deep cut or broken bone. Now that I realize it isn’t as “free” as I thought it was when I was a kid, I’ll make any excuse to not go to the hospital.

Case in point, my wife (before we were married) went to the ER with severe abdominal pains and found out she had an infection in her gallbladder. So they removed it.

Her hospital bill, because she went “out of network” and had an ER visit, was over $80,000. Meanwhile, I probably would have just died because I would have crunched down a hundred Immodium before visiting the hospital.”

Now it’s your turn.

In the comments, tell us what scares you as an adult that didn’t scare you as a youngster.

We can’t wait to hear your stories. Thanks!

The post What Scares You as an Adult That Didn’t Bother You as a Youngster? Here’s What People Said. appeared first on UberFacts.

People Admit What Didn’t Bother Them as Kids but Scares Them as Adults

When you’re young, you really don’t think a whole lot about your safety and things that might potentially harm you.

And I have a pretty embarrassing example of something that I’m super cautious about now that I wouldn’t have given a second thought to when I was younger: driving at night.

I used to not even consider what could be around the next bend in the road when I was 18 or so, but now that I’m older, I find myself driving like a 90-year-old when I have to venture out after dusk. What happened to me?!?!

AskReddit users admitted what scares them as adults that didn’t bother them when they were young.

1. Old bones.

“I miss feeling like a human rubber band when I do active things.

I’m still pretty athletic and I stay in good shape, but after one or two sports knee injuries in high school I could no longer fall on my body any way I wanted.”

2. What’s gonna go wrong today?

“Owning a home.

I am only slightly exaggerating when I say that I wake up every day fully expecting some new and expensive catastrophe to unfold.”

3. The deep.

“Deep water.

I learnt to swim in it by essentially jumping into a pool on holiday as all the other kids were in the pool and didn’t want to be left out.

Now for some reason, if I’m in water and it reaches my chest I’m struck by an absolute rising sense of dread, my breathing gets shallow and I feel so uneasy and upset I have to get into shallower water to be calm again.”

4. Time flies by.

“The reality of how fleeting life is.

And I don’t mean in the cliché “live life to the fullest!”

I mean in the way that life really does pass quickly. I’m 3 years into college and I still feel like I graduated high school last year. Every now and then someone will mention the new class graduating and I have no idea who they are. Or when people I graduated with come into my work and it hits me: I haven’t seen them in three years.

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to grow up, to live on my own, travel, see the world, have a bunch of friends, have a real job.

Now life is real. And it’s passing quick. And realities are starting to set in that in order to do all the things I want to do while I’m young, I better have an excellent paying job. Because time is passing and it isn’t waiting for me.”

5. Very true.

“The older I get the more I realize that very few people have a clue of how to actually do their job, raise a family, or simply being a good member of society.

I’m in my mid twenties, almost done with medical school, and I don’t think I will be mentally or finanically ready to raise kids until I’m in my thirties. My parents had us when they just turned 20. Like wtf, they had no idea how to raise kids, they probably just winged that sh*t and I’m just thankful they didn’t irreversibly f*ck me up.

Or the George Carlin quote about thinking how stupid the average person is. And then realizing that half of the population is even dumber than that. How it’s baffling that our unemployment rate is <5% and that somehow almost all of those people have jobs and that someone somewhere thought “yeah, I’ll hire this person, they seem like they’re more qualified than everyone else.”

The implication being that more than half of the workforce isn’t as good at their job as they could be, and that a huge portion of the world is ran by complete idiots.

Not to mention how uneducated the average person is when it comes to civic duties like voting. Compared to the average joe, I think I probably read way more news articles, history books, and discuss things with my best friend who is a US politics professor; and I still feel like I’m uneducated when it comes to voting for the right candidate.”

6. Frayed nerves.

“Performance anxiety!

I was in theatre as a kid/teen, was in sports tournaments, enjoyed class presentations, and even did some public speaking, and never had any issue getting up in front of people. Even when I would mess up occasionally in front of an audience it didn’t bother me.

Then in college a switch flipped. I did a handful of variety shows in college, and used to perform the national anthem in college at our university sports games. I still remember the first time I ever experienced performance anxiety–I was about 21, and going to perform the national anthem at a volleyball game and I felt it, but it didn’t impact my performance.

Later that year, I was singing a solo tune in a variety show and my music cut out and it flipped me out so bad that I had to stop the performance, which was a gamechanger–I’d never had an issue adhering to “the show must go on” even when things go wrong.

And for the first time in my life, my final presentation of university racked my nerves so bad that it impacted my ability to speak and concentrate so bad that I thought I’d fail the presentation, especially because that professor had seen successful presentations from me before.

Nowadays I get flipped out even giving casual presentations in front of my (small) company. I’d do variety show performance again though!”

7. Bad drivers everywhere.

“Driving.

Each time I go out onto the road I get more and more scared to go back. I’m only 19. How is 90% of this species so reckless that they can manage to scare a 19 year old off the road?

The reason I pay so much extra for insurance is because I’m supposed to be the one doing that, but all middle aged-senior citizens that think they own every inch of the road are beating me to it.”

8. Losing it.

“Losing my mind.

My grandfather had dementia and my grandmother had Alzheimers, they both went through their respective illnesses at the exact same time and to watch them slowly lose themselves was so depressing.

I’m not too worried about what happens to my body, I just dont want to lose my mind, I dont want to forget.”

9. Way up high.

“Heights.

When I was a kid I could run along the edges of tall wharfs and the sides of cliffs without a second thought. Even when I was in my early twenties my friends and I used to hang out on the roof of a 30 story building and pretend push each other off for laughs.

Now even thinking about it gives me anxiety. Even worse thinking that my kid might do the same.”

10. Twisters.

“Tornadoes.

I got stuck driving in a tornadic storm in 1996 (I think it was later determined to be a… down draft maybe it’s called?) in New Hampshire of all places.

Started a thunderstorm phobia that was getting better until I was 22 and ran into (in a car again) what was called the Worst Thunderstorm in New Brunswick History. 2 am outside a closed gas station on an open highway, in a small ford escort which rumbled and shook as lightning was striking right beside us.”

11. A scary thought.

“Home invasions.

It’s my worst nightmare… as a Brit I respect all you Americans who don’t f*ck about when it comes to protecting your families if anyone dares step foot in your house.”

12. No more bills!

“Mail.

As a kid it was always pleasant, a comic, a letter from grandma, you get the idea.

Now everything in the mail is either a bill or taxes.”

13. You’re not alone on that one.

“Clowns.

They’re my absolute worst fear and I didn’t used to be scared of them, but when I got to be a teenager suddenly I was TERRIFIED of them.

It’s so bad sometimes that I physically cannot go places if I know a clown will be there.”

14. Beware of the deep.

“The ocean!

I LOVED swimming in the beach, jumping off big boats into the unknown and just water overall but now that I know what could be lurking in the water I’m terrified!”

How about you?

What are you scared of now that didn’t bother you when you were a kid?

Talk to us in the comments. We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Admit What Didn’t Bother Them as Kids but Scares Them as Adults appeared first on UberFacts.

What’s Your Favorite Paradox? Here’s What People Said.

It’s a funny thing how often paradoxes seem to pop up in our lives, don’t you think?

The universe works in very mysterious ways, my friends…and we’re about to see a bunch of examples of exactly what I’m talking about.

AskReddit users talked about their favorite paradoxes.

Let’s dig into their responses!

1. A good one.

“Actually, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.”

Tom Robbins”

2. Caught by surprise.

“The surprise hanging – a prisoner was sentenced to death by hanging, but as an additional punishment he was told he’d be hung sometime in the next week, but he’d not be told until the morning of.

He reasons that it can’t be friday, because that’s the last possible day, and so it wouldn’t be a surprise, which means it also can’t be thursday, because it can’t be friday and so if he’s alive by thursday then he needs to hang that day, apply same reasoning to the other days of the week…

He died wednesday, caught by surprise.”

3. Open your mind.

“The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know.

Every time you gain a greater understanding about something, it creates even more questions than it answers.”

4. Fun with numbers.

“Statistical paradoxes are cool. For example, Simpson’s Paradox where a statistical trend is reversed when the population is partitioned into groups:

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was supported by 61% of Democrats and 80% of Republicans. However, both Southern and Northern Democrats were more likely to support the Act than their Republican colleagues.

White murderers in Florida are more likely to receive the death penalty than African-Americans. However, African-Americans whose victims were white are more likely to be executed than whites, as are African-Americans whose victims were black.

Median wages in the US rose by 1% between 2000 and 2013, yet wages of every educational subgroup (school dropouts, school graduates, college graduates and higher degrees) fell during the same period.

The overall survival rates for third class passengers on the Titanic were higher than those for the crew, yet those for both men and women were lower.

The batting averages of baseball player David Justice were higher than those of Derek Jeter in both 1995 and 1996, but not in the two years combined.”

5. I’m still holding out hope.

“If time travel was invented in the future, we would have it now.”

6. Ponder this.

“Pilots can get out of combat duty if they are psychologically unfit, but anyone who tries to get out of combat duty proves he is sane.”

7. So true.

“The paradox of being a parent: the days & nights are long & hard, yet the years fly by.”

8. You’ve heard this before.

“I don’t like that place.

No one goes there anymore because it’s always too crowded.”

9. Sad, but true.

“You need job experience to get a job, but to have the experience you must get a job.”

10. Motion.

“Zeno’s paradox of motion.

If you shoot an arrow at a target, at some point it’s halfway there, then halfway of the remaining half, etc.

Since no remaining distance cut in half can ever equal zero, the arrow never reaches the target.”

11. The wormhole.

“Polchinski’s Paradox.

Polchinski raised a potentially paradoxical situation involving a billiard ball sent through a wormhole which sends it back in time.

In this scenario, the ball is fired into a wormhole at an angle such that, if it continues along that path, it will exit the wormhole in the past at just the right angle to collide with its earlier self, thereby knocking it off course and preventing it from entering the wormhole in the first place.”

12. We’re living in one.

“The one we are currently living in; where the ‘Information Age’ has somehow ushered in the ‘Age of Morons’

If you would have told me 25 years ago that giving people near limitless access to almost any data from almost anywhere on the planet in the palm of their hands would make people dumber than they already were I would have called bullsh*t till I was blue in the face.”

13. The poison well.

“The poison well paradox

A town is worried that their well is poisoned by chemical X, so they hire three scientists to test it. They ask each scientist two questions “is chemical X above level Y in our water?” and “if chemical X is above level Y, should we stop using our water supply”, the answers were as follows:

Scientist 1 answered yes to both questions.

Scientist 2 answered yes to the first and no to the second

Scientist 3 answered no to the first and yes to the second

The paradox: If you take each scientist’s final conclusion, you’ll have a majority of scientists saying that you don’t need to close the well; but if you combine all the scientists responses to individual questions, you’ll have a majority of responses telling you to close the well.”

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, tell us about YOUR favorite paradox.

Please and thank you!

The post What’s Your Favorite Paradox? Here’s What People Said. appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Strange Features They’d Include in Their Dream Houses

Call me young at heart, but I like to daydream about the things that I’d do if I had unlimited funds to build my dream house.

Bowling alley? Check.

Amazing pool with waterfalls and slides? Yes.

Ice skating rink for pick-up hockey games? You know it!

Ahhhh, it’s fun to dream, right?

AskReddit users talked about the strange features and rooms they’d have in their dream houses if they had all that cold, hard cash. Let’s see what they came up with.

1. S0unds nice.

“An indoor swimming pool in the underground floor with a synced screen on all four sides and normal + underwater sound system.

I love swimming. I love watching movies and series.”

2. Stargazing.

“I’d definitely install an observatory on top of a spire.

My house would be located far away, in a dark sky region.

Have all of the lights in the house be smart lights, so I can turn them all off with a single click.”

3. That’ll work!

“A sensory deprivation room, with built in float tank, steam shower, cool rain shower… yeahhh.

The best naps I’ve ever had were in a float tank. Being able to do that at home would be amazing.”

4. I’m feeling this one.

“A moat. No one has a moat anymore.

Do you not want to talk to people? Pull up the draw bridge!!!!

And in the winter you have your own personal skating rink!!”

5. Tropical oasis.

“I really want one of those natural bathrooms, that looks like you just walked into a jungle, everything is stone and steam and plants and sounds of a water fall.

Or one of those open stair cases where the back wall is completely glass and there’s a leafy garden under the stairs.

Basically just a tropical oasis for plants.”

6. Only for me.

“Absolutely a secret beautiful bathroom just for me.

I don’t know what it is but I just really value bathroom time and the luxury of getting washed and relaxing and getting ready in a big beautiful marble bathroom.

But nobody else can use it. Like the secret bathroom in B99.”

7. Lazy rivers are amazing.

“An indoor swimming pool – with a lazy river.

I LOVE swimming but I hate public pools.

I have a recurring dream where I have a house with a lazy river in it. I love those dreams.”

8. Let’s get comfortable.

“Definitely one of those huge showers with the water coming from all directions and a bench for a steamroom situation.

Add some good speakers in there for blasting tunes. And then a jacuzzi tub for comfortable baths.

And to top it off, a state of the art Japanese toilet with all the bells and whistles.”

9. Can I get a little space?

“I’m 6’4″ so a custom part of a kitchen counter that can be raised and lowered so I can cut things without feeling like I’m turning into the Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

10. LEGO fanatic.

“I would like a LEGO room with display shelves all along the sides for previously assembled projects and a giant table in the middle with enough space to assemble the biggest sets, lots of little cup-holder type spots to hold the legos as I sort them.

Always wanted that growing up…still want that now.”

11. Going back in time.

“A replica of a Blockbuster. Maybe a pizza oven in the back wall. And the largest assortment of VHS tapes.

I’d call it Mockbuster and give family and friends rental cards so they could check out movies and games.”

12. Can I come over?!?!

“I want an outdoor area dedicated to taco night.

It’s gonna have a meat smoker, and a tequila bar, and pepper plants, and a huge grill and an awesome speaker system and it will be fiesta themed and amazing!”

13. Movie night.

“I want a massive theater room with all of the concessions. Popcorn, nachos, candies, if it’s at a movie theater or ball game for food, I want it.

Bonus points if each seat is one of those crazy massager chairs.”

14. Nerd alert!

“A hidden door that leads to the ultimate nerd room.

Gotta have a place to showcase merch and play D&D with the boys.”

15. Taking care of the animals.

“Special rooms and spaces for all the pets.

A cat room that has a sliding door opening into a well fenced-off outside area (and a cat door too).

A bunny room with lots of tunnels , digging boxes, and, actually, also a specialised outside area.

A super big tank for the gold fish. And one for the axolotl, too.

An aviary. Dont have birds right now, but I’d look for some older parrots who need a home.

Okay, now we want to hear from you!

What weird stuff would you put in your dream house?

Tell us all about it in the comments. Thanks!

The post People Talk About the Strange Features They’d Include in Their Dream Houses appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Spent Time in Prison Talk About the Worst Things They Saw Behind Bars

We’ve all seen so many movies and TV shows about prison that we think we have a little bit of an idea about what it might be like…

But I think that unless you’ve actually been behind bars, none of really have a clue.

Well, it’s time to find out what goes on inside those walls, because AskReddit users that have done time all talked about the worst thing they witnessed while they did time.

Let’s take a look at what they had to say.

1. Yikes.

“Saw someone break a small branch off a tree in the yard, dry it out in the sun, sharpen it down to a point on the concrete and then stab a guy in the back with it 4 times, he had to be airlifted to hospital because it punctured his lung.”

2. Fighting cousins.

“I saw a guy get in a fight with his cousin over a 50 cent bowl… this escalated more and more until they starting fighting.

We all kinda watched out the corner of our eyes bc it was in the cell while the doors were open. Well the guy that was p*ssed about the bowl grabbed the dude by the hair and bite a huge hunk of his cousin’s eyebrow off… like about half of it.

If that wasn’t bad enough me and my cell mate moved into the cell bc it was further away from the TV. So we are cleaning up the cell and my cell mate goes ” holy f*ck look at this!” he lifts up what I thought was a dead hairy bug… nope, furry *ss eyebrow and skin.

Doesn’t haunt me, just crazy to think a guy lost half an eyebrow over a f*cking 50 cent bowl”

3. OH MY GOD.

“We had an offender with a colostomy bag.

Every time he would shower, the most terrible smell would fill the unit. We asked him multiple times to not burp his colostomy bag in the shower but he swore he wasn’t.

Eventually, after developing an infection, his doctor found out he was charging other inmates to have s*x with his colostomy hole.”

4. Terrible.

“The term “getting the sh*t beat out of you” is real. You get beat so fast and hard the adrenaline kicks in and you sh*t yourself.

It’s like some primal defense mechanism. Saw many guys crawl away because if they walked away all the sh*t would dirty the pod which would make everyone more angry.”

5. Turning on each other.

“I remember people kinda turned on each other out of boredom.

I mean, you made friends and all, but you had it hanging over you that you were a bad guy, and some people took to being *ssholes and provoked others seemingly out of boredom.

It was an unpleasant situation to be on the other side, because you wanted to stay out of trouble too, but at the same time had to stand up for yourself. Maybe not the absolute worst I saw, but something I remember.”

6. Kettle-ing.

“Kettle-ing was horrible and i saw it at least 10 times. People would lose an argument, fight or just get embarrassed by someone and go back to their cell, fill a kettle up with water mixed with sugar, boil it and then throw it in the perpetrator’s face.

The sugar made the water like napalm and it would stick to them. I saw 4 people hang themselves, one person slit his wrists and fall through the cell door when it opened in a massive pool of blood. Many, many people cut themselves with razors as a way to get things they want. And one person in the segregation block, smear sh*t all over his cell then cut himself all over and smear the sh*t into his cuts. Also people throwing buckets full of p*ss and sh*t over others.

I saw a pool ball thrown at a guys face and break his nose and jaw. I was a prison “buddy” which is a information giver/counsellor. This was all in 3 years and im grateful everyday i wake up that I’m not still in there”

7. Wow…

“Saw a dude get his face turned to hamburger over a card game. Dude lost so he sucker punches the guy scross from him a minute later, gets in top of him, and probably get about 10 hits in by the time the CO broke it up.

Blood everywhere I was like holy f*ck….it was like my first month there and it made me kinda not wana leave the cell.

My bunkie was a blood and jacked he’s like dude nobody will f*ck with you I’m like ok I hope not…I’m pretty sure he smashed his eye socket in.”

8. For traffic tickets…

“Not prison, but county jail.

I was doing 90 days and a woman who was very pregnant went into labor. They refused to take her to the hospital until her contractions were 2 mins apart. When they finally did, they shackled her to the bed.

They refused to unlock the shackles even when the baby was in danger. She lost the baby and almost bled out. She was in jail for traffic tickets…”

9. Random violence.

“I was in a prison that was split. One side was a level 4 facility (just under max) and the other was for mentally ill inmates.

One day they decided to move some of their more stable mentally ill patients to our side, the level 4 side. There was this really huge dude who, as soon as he got to our prison, just started screaming that he wanted to go back.

He turned and found the person closest to him (I was down the hallway from him) and he proceeds to beat the hell out of this random dude. Dude went into a coma and died two days later. It was horrifying to watch this blatant display of random violence that ended with someone dead. I won’t ever forget it.”

10. Gotta watch your step.

“A guy get his face beat in by a dude with a cast on his arm because guy took dude’s ketchup pack off his plate on hot dog day.”

11. The guards.

“Saw a lot of bad things, like the usual fights, couple people dying and such.

One of the most f*cked up things I saw was what the guards did to this one inmate. I was in maximum security, and then there is a supermax segment of that which is all tiny single cells to hold the murderers, high profile cases, and complete nut jobs that are too dangerous for general population.

So I was a trustee doing my rounds handing out lunch to the single cells. This one guy demands an extra sandwich from me…I tell him it’s not happening bc I don’t have extra, and he starts throwing stuff including who knows what liquid on me. Well the guard sees this, and I was cool with them bc I never acted up or anything.

Then he gets on his radio, and calls for their “special response team”. Maybe 1-2 minutes max, 12 dudes in full riot gear coming walked down the hall marching and banging their clubs on their shields like something out of a movie. They let me stand there for some reason, all 12 of them somehow fit into the 6×10 cell, and just beat the living sh*t out of this guy. The guard tells me he will handle the rest of handing out lunch.

I get back to my cell near the indoor guard office, and about 5 minutes later they bring this battered dude down. They have what’s called a restraining chair, which straps your ankles, legs, waist, wrists, head and neck all down.

The guy gets promptly put into it, and then rolled outside to the yard about 50 feet away. Promptly gets maced. It was 36 degrees that night, but they apparently have a rule that they can keep you out there as long as it doesn’t hit freezing. They left this guy out there for a solid 12 hours with no food/water and barely any clothes.

I saw him again 4-5 days later after he got out of the hospital/medical, one eye swollen shut, the other barely opened, and beaten beyond recognition. He called me over to his cell and apologized. Appreciate the guards looking out for me, but I felt a bit bad for what they did to him.”

12. Over a fruit cup…

“I watched a woman stab another woman in the neck with a plastic spork, over a d*mn fruit cup.”

13. Orange County.

“When I was in Orange County Jail (CA) I saw a whole bunch of wild sh*t.

So when people “roll” into a cell or a dorm (cell = 8 man or less, dorm is 128 men in one open room divided into two inaccessible floors, so 64 on top and 64 on bottom) they usually roll in super late at night, like around midnight cuz i guess it has something to do with funding.

So anyways a guy rolls in at the like 12 am, and I am on the top floor of this dorm. Now, when you look out of the dorm main exit there is a few hundred feet of reflective glass with a catwalk behind it. The cops walk back and forth on this catwalk but most inmates use this glass to communicate with the other floor since its basically a giant mirror that spans the whole giant room.

So its late and I watch this guy come in the bottom dorm and immediately start talking sh*t to the white guy leader of the downstairs. Now I only talked to this guy one time to borrow cards but he was a nazi named “Cyclone” that literally nobody f*cked with. So new guy is spouting off at Cyclone about how he will be the new head of the woods (white people), and it just goes back and forth to the point where everyone on both floors are watching.

There are 3 words you DO NOT say to someone in OCJ, even in jest it will get you f*cked up. Calling someone a “punk”, “b*tch” or “lame” are IMMEDIATE fight words and if someone calls you any of those and you dont fight them, well thats how you get picked on. I was told that even if you’re 100% sure you will lose the fight its better to jump and get your *ss beat than be known as someone who doesn’t react.

So new guy called Cyclone one of those 3 names and in like the same breath Cyclone braces his body between two beds like he’s doing dips and lifts himself up and heel kicks the dude straight in the mouth. Well new guy is just lights out. He falls backwards limp and smacks his head on the bars. Cyclone only hit him once, and the guy was done.

One minute later everyone downstairs is screaming about something and it turns out new guy sh*t himself like a LOOOT, and if you know anything about heroin addicts that first week in jail after a bender is typically spent exclusively on the toilet and in the showers because obvious reasons. Everyone’s gagging downstairs to the point where they hit the emergency button and TOLD ON THEMSELVES. Not exactly, nobody said it was Cyclone but someone told the cops “he was mouthing off and then he sh*t himself, we need a mop.”

So cops come with medics, check the dude and stretcher him out and check everyones knuckles through the bars and of course nobody had any knuckle marks. The guy was covered in blood and sh*t and I remember watching all of this from the upstairs reflection saying to myself “holy f*ck” the whole time. I have so many other wild stories from in there this one is just the freshest in my head.”

Okay, now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, tell us about any stories you have from either being arrested or spending any time behind bars.

Thanks in advance!

The post People Who Spent Time in Prison Talk About the Worst Things They Saw Behind Bars appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Craziest Crime Committed by Someone in Their Family

People don’t like to talk about the “outsiders” in their families – crime is one of those taboo subjects, I think, because it’s embarrassing to admit you’re related to someone who does bad things.

That’s what Reddit is for, though, so come and revel in the crimes committed by these 16 people’s relatives – and be glad they don’t belong to you!

16. They’re lucky to be alive.

My wife’s Cousin was arrested for the manufacturing of Meth, 3 times and wad sentenced to life. He, his Mom and Dad all cooked meth and supplied basically the entire area. The worst part is that during his last arrest he was taking the fall for his parents.

They were in large part why our small sleazy little trash heap of a town was one of the top 5 for meth in the United States at the time.

15. Not the pets!

Last year my psychotic mother burned down my childhood home (that her, my dad, my niece, my sibling, and siblings partner lived in) because she believed my dad was cheating on her, despite no evidence and this was not the first time she accused my dad of cheating with no evidence.

Effectively, she destroyed everything we had built and kept in that home, along with my dads dog and my sisters cat (cat was burned up, so never found; but the dog died of asphyxiation in my nieces room under her bed).

Then after the fire in what I can only construe as an act of desperation, she went to my bank and stole all of the money out of my accounts because she was secondary on the accounts (I was working on changing banks, but my new bank had yet to finalize the creation of my new account). Moral of the story is take your parents off your bank accounts when you turn 18.

She’s now serving time in a county jail for the arson because she took a plea deal and got a reduced sentence, which I still believe was utter crap. She played the poor old lady act to the judge and he took pity on her that she did not deserve.

This is the woman who eviscerated my self esteem and made my life hell ever since I was born. She was toxic and abusive, never told me the truth about anything, and is a greedy, manipulative person. I feel no shame in saying that I do not care about her. She’s lost any right to my love and respect.

14. This should be a movie.

My uncle used to dress up with a group of friends as DEA agents in the 80’s and raid crack houses.

Only to take the drugs and consume them.

13. Interesting is one word for it.

My father committed one of the first computer crimes in the 90s. A ton of files were corrupted due to a code he created because they fired him. FBI invaded our home and arrested him.

Was sent to federal prison for four years, which was interesting because there was never a crime committed of its nature before. They made a forensics file episode about it

12. Is this…real?

My great aunt disappeared off the face of the earth after her daughter’s wedding and nobody had any clue what happened.

Foul play wasn’t suspected or anything however her shotgun was missing.

Well like a month ago we found out she died last year. She had apparently skipped jury duty to go to the wedding and instead of doing anything logical she straight up ran away and lived in hiding in a backwoods town in Washington.

No letters or anything she just decided that the most effective way to get around jury duty to go to a wedding was to live in hiding for 30 years.

11. What a couple of doofuses.

Twin brothers boosted a car and rob the 711 like 1/2 mile from house. Ditched car 10 houses from theirs. How were they caught?

Officers respond to alarm triggered by clerk. Officer: Got an alarm here what happened. Clerk: Tim and Tom came in and robbed the store. Officer: How do you know it was these guys? Clerk: They are 6′ 4″ twins who come in every day. I know their shape and voice.

The car 911 operator: 911 what is your emergency. Neighbor: Was watching TV and 2 guys park a car in front of my house. One guy got out with like a windex bottle and cleaned all the door handles and door areas. Then opened door and the other guy took the stuff and cleaned the inside areas. Then they ran off up the street. Dispatch: Can you describe the 2 individuals? Neighbor: Well it was Tim and Tom the twins that live up the street from me they’re like 6′ 4″ and they are twins.

10. It’s a little bit impressive.

My uncle stole one of those oil candles from our table at a Hard Rock Cafe once. When we got outside he pulled it from his jacket with it still lit.

9. So icky.

My Cousins husband got caught on a predator chasers livestream trying to kidnap a 14 year old boy.

8. Why, though?

My grandpa wouldn’t obey the train warnings. He would try and beat the train rather than wait.

1st time he got hit in his new convertible on the way to prom with my grandma. Had barely started on the payments and car was totaled. Luckily they were both okay.

2nd time was a little less reckless but still dumb. He was driving a semi and it broke down on the tracks. He kept trying to get the tractor trailer to start, rather than lose his rig and load. Semi got hit by the train, total loss and fucked up his back.

7. Don’t mess with Mama.

My mom set a dude on fire.

When I was young I had a babysitter, named Chris. He was the uncle of my two best friends.

He was also abusive.

He liked to do things to me in front of them. Make them listen to my cry and scream. Nothing physical, I should mention. More, psychological.

Anyway, I didn’t tell anyone about it. (And in fact only learned this story about 2 years ago). But it turns out that my best friends did.

They told my mom and she was pissed.

Soon after that there’s a party at my friends parents house. My mom goes and sees Chris. He’s all nice to her. They’re outside in the backyard.

She starts kinda joking around. Roughhousing. Messing with him.

She grabs some lighter fluid and sprays some on Him.

Hahaha, just a joke.

She lights a match.

“Ha! You wouldn’t do it, would you?”

And she lights him on fire.

According to my mom, he was put out quickly so he was fine.

But she told him that’s what its like when you’re scared for your life. And then she left.

Apparently he flew back to Florida the next day.

6. It’s a compulsion.

My sister shoplifts uncontrollably.

She shoplifts everything everywhere she goes.

Her daughter just turned 1 and she has stolen every bit of formula her daughter ever used.

It’s insane she’s never been caught

5. Hopefully a wakeup call.

My brother got completely inebriated one night and stupidly drove home.

He woke up early in the morning to the sound of a baby crying. He looked around and noticed he didn’t recognize the house.

He quickly got up and walked outside to his car halfway in the driveway/street and still running. Got in his car and drove away as quickly as he could. Turns out it was some random house about 5-10 minutes away from our actual house.

He never knew whose house it was and never got caught. He also slowed down his drinking after that.

4. Every family should have lore.

My dad’s cousin erased all family member names from a property deed except for his father’s. The paperwork had been water damaged so there was no easy way to tell what should have been there.

Family lore says that he also paid off some local politicians / office workers to make the new deed stand.

3. Yeah, definitely illegal.

In college we got a new printer and printed off a bunch of fairly convincing $20 bills, roughed them up and used them at a bunch of fast food restaurants.

Didn’t realize how dumb it was until years later.

2. Jail. Yes.

A distant cousin got her terminally ill father to give her power of attorney and then stole all of his money so she wouldn’t have to split it with her brother.

Don’t worry, she did go to jail as her rush to clean him out involved a lot of fraud and forgery.

1. What a jerk.

My father, when I was still very young, used a fake name and pretended to be a wedding planner for a young couple. That young couple hired him, since he seemed trustworthy and is an excellent liar, giving him access to their savings for wedding supplies and such that would be needed.

Instead, he stole all of the money out of their account and then ran away with it. As far as I am aware, he was never caught and the money was never returned to them.

The worst part is that the poor couple never even got their wedding and had almost nothing left afterwards.

I honestly don’t know how I would handle something like this.

If you’ve got a crazy criminal in your family and want to share the details, our comments are open!

The post People Share the Craziest Crime Committed by Someone in Their Family appeared first on UberFacts.

Normal Words That Can Be Pronounced Two Very Different Ways

No one would argue the fact that English is a tough language. It beats up other languages in dark alleys and goes through their pockets for loose vocab – at least, that’s the word on the street.

Which is why it’s not surprising there are several words that are spelled exactly the same, and mean the same thing, but are pronounced differently depending on the speaker.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Fun, right?

At least if you know about these 10 words in advance, you’ll see them coming.

10. Data

It can be pronounced DAH-ta or DAY-ta, and is defined as “individual facts, statistics, or items of information.”

Officially, any word that comes directly from Latin (“data” does), and the stressed syllable ends in a vowel, then the vowel should have a long sound in English.

So DAY-ta is technically correct.

9. Laboratory

Do you go to work in the LAB-ore-a-tor-ee or the la-BORE-a-tree?

Easy – are you British? If so, you use the latter, and the Americans, the former.

8. Vase

There’s VAYS (rhymes with “lace”) and VAHZ (rhymes with “Oz”), but in the modern world, the latter pronunciation often comes off as too refined or “snooty” for most ears.

It is, of course, popular in Britain.

7. Mature

This one has more than two pronunciations – mah-CHURR, mah-CHOOR, and ma-TYOOR.

It used to be that pronunciations with the long ‘T’ were preferred and the others seen as lowbrow, but that’s shifted since the 1980s.

6. Tomato

This one has been made famous by a song, and New Englanders, especially, will cling to the tuh-MAH-toes with their cold, dead fingers.

The rest of us enjoy a nice summer tuh-MAY-toe and less pretension.

5. Appalachia

Have you visited Appa-LAY-sha or Appa-LATCH-a, my friends?

This one is probably dependent on which side of the Mason-Dixon line you call home. Northerners are more likely to pronounce the middle syllable like “lay,” while Southerners choose “latch.”

4. Gala

Will you be attending the GAY-luh or the GAL-uh, my good woman?

Well, properly it should be GAY-luh, since the stressed syllable ends in a vowel, but since the 1930s, either version is understood and accepted.

3. Leisure

LEH-shure or LEE-shure again comes down to South vs. North, with most Southerners preferring the British pronunciation that rhymes with “pleasure” and others opting to pronounce it so it rhymes with “seizure.”

2. Electoral

Where you you put the stress on this word – is it el-LECK-toral or el-ek-tore-ul? Maybe el-leck-TOR-al?

There’s no right answer, but the “uncultivated” latter choice is becoming more and more popular.

1. Celtic

Even though the traditional and native pronunciation is KEL-tick, the word came to English through French, which utilizes the softer ‘c’, resulting in SELL-tick.

Classical Latin would also demand the hard ‘c,’ but I would try convincing any Boston Celtics fans to change their ways, if I were you.

Good luck in the world of reading aloud. It’s designed to terrifying you!

Do you have a memory of making a mistake reading aloud? Share so we can all cringe along with you!

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