Category: Weird

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People Share The Weirdest Pizza Toppings They’ve Ever Tried

Pizza may have roots in Italy, but it is now a global phenomenon.

That international appeal has led to some creative local flair.

But not everyone thinks creativity is the secret to a great pie.

Redditor mrlogman asked:

“What’s the weirdest pizza topping you’ve heard of or tried?”

C’est Mangnifique

“I was in france and had a pizza with my dad that was Loaded with toppings.. three fried eggs were on the list. there was bacon and really good cheese and sausage and stuff. Very tasty.” – dirkachbar

A Teen’s Take

“I use to be a pizza chef in my late teens at my parents pizzeria.”

“I once made a chocolate calzone (without cheese), it was sickly/revolting.” – anon

When In Cambodia

“spiders and marijuana, not together but both in Cambodia.” – anon

Ruff To Swallow

“dog. I’m serious. I didn’t try it, but I have had zebra tacos.” – new_bedlam

Pineapple Still Raises Questions

“I used to think the same thing. Pineapple and canadian bacon/bacon on a pizza would freak me out. It’s a fruit, I would say.”

“Then, one fateful day, I tried it. Seriously, it’s delicious. The slightly sweet tang coupled with the melted cheese and the salty canadian bacon/bacon, maybe throw in some green peppers for effect…”

“I’m going to order one now. Seriously, try it. You won’t be disappointed.” – anon

A Little Garnish Goes A Long Way

“If you do like pineapple on pizza, try pineapple, ham, mint and feta cheese (Don’t use feta instead of mozzarella, just use the feta as a topping).”

“The mint can be cooked into the pizza or the leaves can be just put on the top as a garnish.” – anon

Heart Of The Platter

“Marinated artichoke heart seemed to be big in Ceuta, Spain.” – Zooph

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

“I had an ‘everything’ pizza in Italy with all sorts of vegetables and a cooked egg on top. They weren’t the normal vegetables you’d expect in the States.”

“Also, I once ate a giant pizza in Italy with 4 sections, 1 with arucola on it. It was pretty weird.”

“-edit- It’s called Capricciosa (with everything- the giant pizza was a specialty).” – poopsix

Restaurant Lab

“I work at a pizza place and sometimes we experiment. Some of the better ones include a PB&J pizza, breakfast pizza (bacon, eggs, cheese, ham, peppers), BLT (bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayo, etc.)”

“On our menu we offer a cheeseburger pizza that uses mustard as the sauce with beef, mozzarella, cheddar, bacon, onions and pickles. We also have a spicy chicken pizza that has a ranch base instead of pizza sauce. Good stuff. Also, try using a spicy tomato sauce instead of a sweet one for a change.”

“EDIT: Also forgot to mention the Taco pizza (taco meat, pizza sauce, topped with lettuce, cheddar and tomato.) We also have a BBQ Chicken pizza (base is BBQ sauce, topped with mozzerella, diced seasoned chicken, cheddar, red onions and optional bacon.)” – analbumcover

Fruity Delight

“When I worked at a pizza place, a guy brought in a carton of blueberries and ordered a cheese pizza. When it came, he put the blueberries on top and ate it. When he was done, there was a single blueberry left alone on the plate.” – yourpopquizkid

Pharma-Giano

“Honestly? I believe it was either Vicodin or Ritalin.”

“My hubby and I along with his brother and a friend of ours had our pill stage, usually simply consuming or snorting, a few years back. One night, after baking a pizza and serenading it (not joking), they got the bright idea of placing it on our pizza as a topping.”

“I wasn’t fond of the idea b/c I don’t want my pizza tasting like pills and it isn’t the most efficient way to consume pills to get high, but. . . I was out numbered.”

“It was disgusting, of course. That’s all I remember from that night.” – anon

Moose Meat

“People always look at me weird when I say “Roast Beef”. But, I promise… Get some lean, thinly sliced (lunch meat grade) roast beef… Heaven.” – Originate

“Our local joint has this great Mr. Pestato pizza that has pesto, slices of potato and onions. It is so weird but so delicious!”

“And I remember that when I was in Guadalajara, they had ketchup packets at the local Dominos because people like to put it on pizza there. ew”– obizuth

That’s Just Bananas

“Banana Pizza is an amazing dessert. Toppings: bananas, mozzarella, sugar, and cinnamon.” – brandar

This Spuds For You

“I really like pierogi pizza!”

“Pizza with a layer of sauteed potatoes, then a layer of sour cream and topped with cheddar cheese, bacon bits and green onions. We have it at Boston Pizza in Canada.” – flashtastic

“Pickles or Broccoli”

“and yes I made them. I’ve got a knack for cooking and can make quite a few things, but back in my freshman year of college, when I first discovered that I enjoyed cooking, all I knew how to make was pizza and so I made every variation i could think of.”

“My favorite is still buffalo chicken. mix two parts marinara sauce with one part buffalo wing sauce, and dip it in ranch or bleu cheese. Delicious.” – jeffp12

Hitting The Sweet Spot

“I have been to a fish and chip shop which sells (or used to sell) chocolate pizza: pizza base with a layer of Rolos, covered in mozzarella and topped with crushed Flake. No tomato sauce though…. The chocolate and cheese works surprisingly well.” – jln

The Sandwich Variant

“There was/is a place in Sandusky, OH that I went to when I worked at Cedar Pointe that served a peanut butter and jelly pizza that I loved. It really just worked out to peanut butter melted onto a warm crust with cold jelly slathered on top, but it was served as a pizza.” – Spazsquatch

Popular Lunch Meat

“People always look at me weird when I say ‘Roast Beef.’ But, I promise… Get some lean, thinly sliced (lunch meat grade) roast beef… Heaven.” – Originate

While major fans of traditional pizza may consider some of these toppings blasphemous, others might see the topping interpretations as a complement to the dish that became a global culinary sensation.

So don’t be quick to judge these twists on a pizza.

Who knows, you may really enjoy squid pizza, amirite?

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People Explain Which Historical Events Seem Altered By A Time Traveler From The Future

Ever wonder about the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand?

Somebody throws a grenade at his car. It blows up behind him.

That’s the first incident of time travel, stopping the assassination.

Later, as he goes back, the driver realizes he’s on the same route where the grenade was thrown and they try to turn around.

The whole procession of cars stalls and a guy who just happened to be sitting there goes over and shoots the Archduke setting off the events that lead to the first World War.

Did a time traveler meddle then? Wouldn’t surprise us.

It turns out that there are quite a few historical events out there that seem stranger than fiction.

We heard about them after Redditor Heterozygoats asked the online community:

“What historical event 100% reads like a time traveler went back in time to alter history?”

“Basically, Poe writes about…”

“Edgar Allan Poe wrote about an event 40+ years in the future.”

“Basically, Poe writes about four people who are starving at sea, draw straws, and kill and eat the loser, cabin boy Richard Parker. 40 odd years later four people are adrift at sea in a lifeboat, one drinks seawater and goes into a coma.”

“When they draw straws for who will be eaten, the coma guy gets the short straw in a development that surprises no one. And so the three other men kill and eat the cabin boy. Richard Parker. Seriously.” ~ TuckerMouse

“There was a shipwreck…”

“There was a shipwreck in 1664, a shipwreck in 1785, and a shipwreck in 1820. Each had 1 survivor. Each survivor was named Hugh Wiliams.” ~ pm_me_genius

“The Fire Department and some clowns…”

“The Toronto Circus Riot of 1855.”

“The Fire Department and some clowns get into a disagreement at a whorehouse, and get into a punch-up. The clowns win, but the firemen return to the circus later and start attacking in revenge.”

“The firemen win the day but violence is stopped when the militia come in. The police do nothing, so the city fires all the police (and I mean everyone) and starts a new police force.” ~ splitdipless

“When Andrew Jackson’s assassin…”

“When Andrew Jackson’s assassin attempted to shoot him, both of his flintlock pistols misfired. Andrew Jackson had to be restrained after almost beating the assassin to death with his cane. The two flintlocks were examined after the incident and found to be in good condition.” ~TwoBearsHighFiving

“20,000 people could have died…”

“Cyanide Gas Attack Thwarted in Tokyo Subway.”

“20,000 people could have died but a worker found a burning gasbag in a toilet just before it mixed with another poisonous gas bag – just in time – and put them out. That was in Shinjuku station. I was in that station that day, and that person might have saved my life.” ~ Idkeepplaying

“It was so much happenstance…”

“Franz Ferdinand’s assassination. It was so much happenstance, shenanigans, and tomfoolery that it’s like a special achievement in a hitman game.” RigasTuring

“Survived both of the bombings…”

“Tsutomu Yamaguchi.”

“Survived both of the bombings at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Reads like a satirical time-traveler story where the protagonist screws up his dates.” ~ OlympusJCook

“The number of times…”

“The number of times we DIDN’T go to nuclear war because of a false positive of a launch. Honestly, Stanislav Petrov should have statues in every country.” ~ AustinJG

“Jack Ruby clearly was sent…”

“Jack Ruby clearly was sent to kill Lee Harvey Oswald so no one would ever discover it wasn’t him who killed Kennedy.” ~ possiblyhysterical

“Fidel Castro’s assassination attempts…”

“Fidel Castro’s assassination attempts being dodged is so unrealistic (really, he dodged about 600) that it feels like a time traveler went back and foiled every single one of them.” ~ AttentionSome

“If you read up on his life…”

“If you read up on his life, you’ll find there are so many times Adolf Hitler almost died, but somehow survived, that makes me think there was/is a time traveler war going on.”

“A faction trying to kill Hitler, because it’s Hitler, and a faction preventing his death because the guy who would replace him was even worse than Hitler.” ~ Lichruler

“The Germans spent a lot of time…”

“The Germans spent a lot of time and money developing a magnetic sea mine that probably would have significantly reduced England’s ability to stay in the war, except they dropped a single one of the mines accidentally on an English beach, and also failed to arm it so none of the booby traps were active and the British basically found out straight away how it worked and we’re able to cheaply build magnetic minesweepers.” ~ pezzz4525

“It wouldn’t be surprising…”

“It wouldn’t be surprising if Nancy Wake was a time traveler. She was just too damn good at special ops against the Nazis.” ~ doublestitch

“That time in the 1700s…”

“Battle of Karansebes.”

“That time in the 1700s when the Austrian army got confused, waged a huge battle against itself within its own lines, and lost an estimated several hundred to few thousand men (and a lot of equipment and money) in the process. They then retreated.”

“The Ottomans, whom they were originally intending to fight, showed up two days later.” ~ HyvalTheEmolga

“The last known kill…”

“The last known kill by bow and arrow in combat was actually during the battle of Dunkirk, 1940. Jack Churchill landed a well-placed arrow into a German soldier’s chest.”

“He also chose to carry bagpipes and a Scottish longsword.” ~ WasteNot2532

“The Russian writer…”

“The Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky was sentenced to death by firing squad and just as they were preparing the groups to be shot, a messenger came with a letter from the Tsar ‘forgiving’ them and the sentence was changed to prison labor.”

“He later went on to write some of the most influential novels of all time.” ~ smokeyman992

Whoa.

History is fascinating–and full of odd incidents like these, because life is crazy.

Just think—you’ll be the star of your next dinner party as soon as you whip these facts out.

So why don’t you?

You’ll be the envy of everyone!

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People Break Down The Dumbest Traditions They’ve Ever Witnessed

Traditions have a way of connecting us to our past.

We learn them from our parents, our grandparents or even an understanding of our cultural background.

And it can be comforting to carry out many of these traditions. They give us a sense of long-term regularity amidst all the chaos of current events and people coming and going in our lives.

But for all that comfort, there are a whole lot of head-scraching moments.

These are the times we wonder:

“How and why did this get started and why the hell are we still doing it?”

One Redditor asked:

“What is the dumbest tradition?”

Of course wedding traditions came up a lot—these come out of Lebanon.

“So we have this tradition in some parts of Lebanon. Once you have your wedding, the bride’s male relatives are supposed to ‘kidnap’ the groom. The bride should go back to her parent’s for 2 nights a night after the wedding.”

“when the priest/shiek asks the bride.. do you take this man as your husband.. the bride should refuse to answer the question twice .. she should answer yes at the 3rd time. As a sign of showing that she’s not desperate to marry the groom.” — Ghost_Leb

But as we know, Lebanon isn’t the only place with bizarre wedding moments. 

“Garter and Bouquet tosses at Weddings.”

“Hate ‘em, always have. Think they’re outdated and I’m so thrilled most of my clients (I’m in the wedding industry) are steering away from them.”

“Seriously, who wants to have their husband go up their skirt in front of their parents?”

“[to be fair]; a decent amount of my clients are older” — caitycc

Then came talk of the clothes.

“White wedding dresses.White is the most unflattering color,makes you look 50lbs heavier and doesn’t outline your body at all.”

“The ONE day it’s about you and your S.O and ur not even gonna pick ur favorite color dress? LAME I’m wearing a black and peach pink dress to my wedding?” — chocolatecakeslicee

One person was more involved with the lead-up to marriage.

“That the man has to propose.”

“When I want to get married I will ask him.”

“Also to add asking the parents for approval. We are all adults, we don’t need your permission to get married” — MinnesotoanPerson

This comment took aim at the whole universe of wedding traditions.

“I got married a few years back and I can tell you that at least 75% of wedding traditions are stupid and should be abolished.”

“If you’re getting married and there’s something you’re “supposed to do” that you just don’t care about, seriously, skip it. You will still have plenty to do and honestly you’ll barely remember the day once it’s done anyway.”

“It all goes by so fast, it’s insane. Ignore everyone else, skip the things that you think are dumb, and just enjoy your day. Absolutely no one will remember if you did that cringey garter dance or threw your bouquet.”

“Traditions are just peer pressure from dead people.” — KitchenSwillForPigs

And then there are the things people do far after the wedding. 

” ‘Staying together for the kids’ “

“Not 100% sure this counts/is a tradition but it sure feels like one with how often people do it.”

“Like dude, just admit your marriage/relationship is failing, be adults about it, and separate instead of pretending you’re doing it for a good reason. As an adult who’s parents did this, I can PROMISE you you’re only hurting your kids and yourselves by doing this.” — SaphireJames

Moving on from weddings, this person was thinking more about daily life. 

“The false kindness rules. I’m talking about the ones that make you refuse a gift, expecting it to be offered to you once more, and other kinds of such rules.”

“The thing is such rules are usually very local, often limited to a particular village, and conflict with the rules of different areas.”

“Imagine that in your area, being offered a gift means being respected highly, and it is rude to reject a gift. While in some other area, being offered a gift means you are supposed to refuse twice and only accept if the offer is repeated for the third time.”

“The result? You meet someone. She offers you a gift. You don’t really like chocolate, but you accept because you don’t want to sound rude. Then she makes a weird face, as if you stole it from her.”

“And she doesn’t seem to be into you, but keeps offering you coffee and dinner, and pretends that the date was successful, only to block you on tinder afterwards.” — King_Dagda

This commenter was thinking politically.

“The dumbest tradition we (Brits) have is having a monarchy. Giving people who serve no purpose prestige, respect and wealth based solely on their bloodline is ridiculous.”

“It’s a perpetuation of the idea that some genes are superior to others and have more worth.” — Negative-Net-9455

This one is just bizarre. 

“Up until he died (although someone else is probably carrying on the tradition), a Canadian weekly agriculture newspaper used to publish the annual findings of a guy who forecasted the weather by reading the entrails (spleen) of a slaughtered pig.” — tangcameo

As is this one. 

“Tar barrel running in Ottery St Mary, England.”

“Yes you are correct, hot tar coming out of a barrel being ran down a street with spectators watching.”

“Even listed as an attraction! Come down to South Devon and get yourself burnt! Fun times ?” — Baconator08

And this one too. 

“In Russia,there’s a tradition among cosmonauts when they go out to the launch pad. The bus they ride on stops half way so the cosmonauts can get out and piss on the tires.” — TeamNathanFTW

We end with a timely example.

“Said this before, but the thing about having your scared/crying child take a picture with dept. store Santa then sending it out as your x-mas card/e-card. How is that at all cute?”

“If they are happy and all, fine. But not if they are clearly in terror.” — John32070

With your help, all these strange behaviors can be phased out for good.

But of course, there’s always someone that seems to still be into it.

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Mall Santas Confess The Creepiest Thing A Child Has Ever Asked For

It’s Christmas and that means time to have a chat with Santa.

Have we been naughty or nice? What is on your list?

My mother used to take me to see mall Santa every year. And every year I’d ask for the common superficial gifts.

I always assumed the rest of my peers were asking for the same things. As I grew older I came to find out that was not the case.

People have been asking these mall Santas for things that could get all of us on a Dateline NBC episode.

It seems some kids think Santa is a hitman. That is a request that can keep you up at night.

Redditor SantasCousin wanted to get into some scandalous Christmas tales from all the mall Santas out there.

So they asked:

“People who have been Santa at the mall, what’s the creepiest thing a kid has asked you for Christmas?”

I have a feeling it won’t just be the children indulging in questionable requests and behavior.

Let’s get to some details.

Can I have the Leftover?

“Had a kid ask ‘Santa, what happens to all the dead kid’s toys?’.”  ~ marxroxx

“I feel like he just sees a business opportunity.”  ~ ReverseTuringTest

Boyfriend Santa Says…

“My boyfriend is a Santa for private events, and has been doing it for over 20 years, so he has a BUNCH of stories.” 

“He was doing a private adults-only party, so all of the ladies were being a bit flirty, but nothing crazy. ‘Santa Baby’ started playing and the ladies dragged him onto the dance floor.”

“He shimmies a bit and goes to sit back down when a woman grabs him and starts grinding on him.”

“He tries to get away from her in character (‘What will Mama Claus think?’), but she keeps on grinding and starts to moan.”

“Finally, the hostess notices and gets her away from him, but she kept trying to get to him the rest of the night.”

“The saddest story was definitely when a little kid (4 or 5) crawled into his lap and, with a big, sweet smile, asked Santa.”

“’Can you make my mommy love me?’”

‘My BF has to hug the kid so he wouldn’t see him tearing up and told him that that was a request for a higher power and that he and Mama Claus would pray about it.”

“Kid seemed happy with that response.”  ~ nursejacqueline

Bad Elves

“I wasn’t a mall Santa, but one of the elves who took the pictures.”

“We had two Santas: one was narcoleptic and we had to keep waking him up, and the other would bring his own homemade bags of coal to give to the kids who would cry.”

“And we’d have to try to seize all the bags before he started his shift. That was a fun job.”  ~ craychel

‘get better and not die’

“Not a Santa, but I remember being in hospitals a lot as a kid with serious stomach issues.”

“I remember asking a mall Santa if I could ‘get better and not die’ once when I was about eight or nine years old.”

“When the mall Santa looked at me sadly and said he couldn’t do that, almost in tears, I asked if my old dog that died as a puppy could be brought back as a zombie so ‘we could both be dead together’.”

“‘And if I could come back as a zombie too so I could stay with my parents so they wouldn’t be sad’.”

“Looking back, that was really creepy and I think I broke the poor guy’s heart.”  ~ Emmax1997

For the Menu…

“I wasn’t a mall Santa, but I played one of his elves.”

“I think the worst thing a kid ever asked for was some reindeer sausage. He figured Santa could slaughter one of his reindeer for the venison.”  ~ Dubioushonesty

“Ikea in the UK sells, or at least used to sell, reindeer meat its delicious maybe he had some and wanted Santa to bring him more.” ~ homingstar

One Big Kick!

“Not a mall Santa but I was the ‘Best Buy Box’ for a number of Holliday seasons in the early 2000’s.”

“One year we set up a chair where you could take a picture with me. Soon it turned into people just telling me what they wanted for Christmas.”

“Sometimes I’d have a stack of $5 gift cards and I’d give them out randomly.”

“One kid sits down and says he wants to kick me in the crotch.”

“The suit was heavily padded and there was a good 10 inches or so from the bottom of the box to my love spuds.”

“Being 19 and wanting to put on a good show, I said sure.”

“Kid winds up and musters the best kick he had. I played it up even though he actually hit my thigh. I remember everyone thinking it was so funny.”

“I loved the early Holliday seasons working there. Some of my best memories came from those times.”

We had a fantastic management team who were like family.”

“Then it all changed and everything went sour. Such is life, I guess.”  ~ mcfuddlebutt

Security for Santa Please! 

“Former mall Santa, even bought a professional suit because I hated the one they provided. I got a few creepy stories that involves, college students and adults.”

“Kids: A little girl no more than 5 was screaming bloody murder when it was her turn.”

“Kids get scared of Santa, not that uncommon. Her dolled up mom was having none of her child’s tantrum and the Elves were pleading with her to not put the girl on my lap.”

“She did and at her kid instantly stopped screaming.”

“Just had this look of pure hatred at her mom for the remainder of the photo session.”

“I swear, I thought I was on Candid Camera (before YouTube y’all) it looked so acted out.”

“Attempting to talk to the little terror, I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she looked at me and softly said just above a whisper, ‘for my Mommy to die’.”

“NOPED myself to a break after that one. It was the inside joke for the rest of the mall Santa season, (whispering to each other between kids) ‘I want you to die!!!!’”

“College Students: One rather lonely overweight gal kept getting in line several times a week to get pictures with Santa.”

“I was in college myself back then and I’m pretty sure she was working herself up to asking me out.”

“Extremely shy, awkward and had some hygiene issues.”

“She only paid for one of the photos but the elves remember seeing her throughout the week when I wasn’t on shift.”

“Apparently only got pictures with me.”

“Adults: I was in my 20’s and the perverted things the MILF’s whispered into my ear while sitting on Santa’s Lap were definitely something for the naughty list to be sure.”

“It became so frequent for the younger Santas to get groped, teased, etc…, that the Elves were told to stay close when adults got their pictures taken. Elf security to be sure.”  ~ Draidr

Bad Sister

“Not a Santa but was a kid that asked for my sister’s tears in a bottle.” ~ LMNOPede

“Today her tears, tomorrow her soul muahahahaha.” ~ WreakingHavoc640

Not a fan of babies…

“Not a mall Santa, but my fire department does a Santa visit to all the houses in my town.”

“We have a few guys dress up as Santa and we drive around going house to house in the fire engines.”

“One year when I was Santa we go to a house with a married couple and two kids.”

“The woman is clearly pregnant. The daughter, about 10-12, creeped the hell out of me.”

“I asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she looks at her I assume step mom and says dead pan. ‘I want the baby to die’.” 

“Jesus Christ, kid.” ~ pokemon-gang

A Kid’s POV

“I remember when I was a little kid, my sister asked Santa for a pony.”

“I was next, so I asked for rat poison… for the pony. 10-year-old me was an edgy little as**hole.”  ~ Redpeng11

For a stew or a spell?

“My grandmother was a Mrs. Claus, one year a kid asked for a dead chicken.” ~ memelordsupremelawd

People can be weird—all people, including kids.

And clearly kids are the weirdest.

I couldn’t do this Santa gig.

Or the elves or Mrs. Claus. I’d be turning kids and adults in to the authorities left and right.

I would also certainly have a stun gun on hand.

Geesh… whatever happened to asking for toys? Games? A puppy? Peace on Earth!!

This is more Halloween than Christmas.

Happy Holidays?

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People Divulge Which Questions No One Should Ever Ask On A First Date

When on a first date…. keep it light.

I mean, you do want to know if you’re compatible and all of that, but don’t get crazy.

Life is not being decided over your first plate of calamari.

Maybe find out someone’s favorite color before we get into baby names.

Wondering for their own reasons, Redditor koyanggi6563 wanted to discuss what chatter is and is not best for the beginning of romance.

They asked:

“What’s something that should never be asked on a first date?”

What are your thoughts?

That is Private

“Ask me about my job… we’re fine. Specific questions about my salary or savings… I nope out.”  ~ ghost882

“I do think talking about if a savings account has a balance and if you have an emergency fund is important, but specific numbers are too much.”  ~ Global_Criticism_911

The Body Count Percentage

“On a first date, my date asked me what percent of women I had sex with on first dates.”  ~ nyle2

“I beg your pardon kind sir, if I may, could you possibly bestow upon me some rather interesting knowledge in regards to how many souls you make romance to, upon your first date?”

“Much obliged, kind sir, my everlasting gratitude is upon you in infinite magnitudes for your most generous understanding.” ~ -Z-3-R-0-

Are the accounts full? 

“How much money I have.”

“Before I was married, I went on a date with a woman who asked me on the first date, how financially comfortable I was.”

“We had known each other for a few weeks (mutual friend). I think she asked because she deducted that I lived alone in a house I owned, at age 25, and it probably appeared that I didn’t work (was self employed).”

“As soon as she asked, it was obvious why she pushed us to try dating because. She saw money.”

“She ended up marrying for money, but not mine. It’s obvious there’s a prenup, because she’s miserable, and not leaving him.”  ~ FinestTreesInDa7Seas

When in a Diner…

“I had a girl once talk about how her period was so bad this month it caused her chest to break out in hives.”

“She then wanted to show me… in a diner… full of families and shit. I did not ask.”  ~ bybeardandthrone

Deep Breaths…

“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”  ~ Tzardine

“Insufficient.”

“Chloroform takes 15 – 20 minutes of steady deep breathing in to successfully knock someone completely out and that’s if you are strong enough to keep steady pressure over their mouth and nose while being able to hold them still in your arms to limit their movements.”

“So a quick sniff won’t do anything but have them tell you yes it does or I don’t know what chloroform smells like so no?”  ~ The_Book-JDP

History Out

“I had a first date ask me my favorite genocide, and then went on to talk about various historical genocides for the rest of the date. I was really creeped out.”  ~ gallopingwalloper

Astrology Issues

“What is your zodiac sign?”  ~ SquareUnderwear69

“Please ask me this on put first date. Then I know you’re a superstitious person who determines their life via ‘magic,’ and I won’t bother with a second date.”  ~ AtheneSchmidt

Matters of the Heart

“So, how many men’s hearts have you broken before?”

“I don’t know if this is a common thing to ask but I got asked this by 2-3 people and I found it a very weird thing to ask.”

“And to clarify the question wasn’t phrased like they were asking about my past relationships, instead it seemed like they were asking how many I turned down.”

“I found it very weird, who remembers that like it’s a conquest or something?”  ~ firefly158

All the Shots!!

“I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’”

“Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kind of lost track myself.”

“But being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well do ya, punk?’” ~ JunkieM0nkey

All in the Family

“How many kids do you want?”  ~ 1nqv

“Maybe not so good for the first date but definitely something to talk about quite early in the relationship.”

“Asking ‘do you like kids?’ or something like that can totally do in the first date depending on the timing, context and both of your personalities.”

“Way too many people leave this type of question for very late in the relationship only to break up because one wants kids and the other hates them.”  ~ Digitijs

Who takes the check?

“To have one of the dates pay for both meals.”  ~ Homerlikesdonuts

“Disagree with that for the first date. It’s totally fine to do afterwards, but I think whoever asked the other out on the date, should pay for the first date.”

“After that you can split it or take turns or whatever.”  ~ Testastic

Percentages…

“Had a girl tell me she was a feminist which I’m ok with 100% so when the bill came I paid for what I had with 20% tip and her reaction wasn’t great.”  ~ ghanksta57

“This is obviously a made up story but…”

“If you ask someone out on a date, you should pay. At least the first time.”

“If I invite a girl on a date and she insists on paying for herself, that’s a giant sign that she’s not into me.”

“And if I was invited on a date and then they expected me to pay, it would be the first and last date.”  ~ LightningRodofH8

Say “I Do!”

“Future marriage plans.”

“Actually happened to me on a blind date setup by a close friend who was trying to help out a colleague of his from work.”

“She was just a little bit desperate to find her love connection.”

“There was no second date.”  ~ udetme

What have we learned?

Be cool. Be calm. And just get to know someone before the third degree.

It’s a first date not a marriage proposal.

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Teachers Divulge The Creepiest Things Students Have Brought In For Show And Tell

When I was young I LOVED show and tell. I would bring in all sorts of nonsense.

I loved to “present” to everyone. It’s still one of my favorite childhood pastimes.

Of course there would always be those few kids who ruined it for everyone, and left the teacher scrambling to cover.

Let’s talk show and tell…

Redditor Salmonerd_ wanted to hear from educators out there about the times students made show and tell weird.

They asked :

“Teachers, what’s the worst thing a kid brought for show and tell?”

Let’s hear all about it…

Diamond in the rough…

“When I was in elementary school there was a kid from a different class who brought his mom’s diamond engagement ring to show and tell.”

“I know this because I found a Diamond engagement ring in the wood chips under the swing set.”

“I turned it in and later got a $10 reward, dumb 7 year old me probably should have pawned it!!”  ~ GoBuffaloes

MOOOOOO!!!

“In 5th grade, we were studying human anatomy.”

“When we got to the eyes, a kid brought in a bag full of cow’s eyes. His dad worked in a slaughterhouse. Teacher was horrified.”

“I should add that my classmate brought them in, unannounced. The teacher had no plans for dissection, was going to show us a filmstrip about eyes or something.”  

“I should add that the teacher put them in the staff refrigerator for the day (this was in the Arizona heat).”

” Afterwards, when teacher returned the bag of eyes to my classmate, he took them home, and on the walk home, gave them out to any kid who wanted one.”

“I’ll leave all that to your imagination.”  ~ alvinathequeena

The Dead

“Wasn’t show and tell but once during morning break while I was a student teacher, two 6 year olds came to find the class teacher in the staff room.”

“They had something to show her.”

“She came back with pictures, these boys had found half a dead and decomposed hedgehog and decided to pick it up and put it on her desk.”

“Needless to say hands were thoroughly washed and drenched in sanitiser.”  ~ drwhogirl_97

“I took a skeletonized animal from my back yard in for show and tell. I don’t know what animal it originally was and I think I kind of sneaked it past my mother.”

“The teacher was a bit surprised!”

“My cousin took a dead bat in a jar to school once. It was in the house.”

“They hit it with a broom, which killed it, then they put it in the jar.”  ~ whatyouwant22

Too Sharp. Too Dangerous.

“I brought 2 knives.”

“My dad is from a region in France where they make famous knives (Laguiole) and I owned two of them (one made of horn and one was bright orange).”

“It didn’t cross my mind it could be a problem, but they called my parents (who weren’t mad at me).”  ~lyscity

“My dad tells a story about when he brought his dad’s bird hunting shotgun and ammo to school for show and tell.”

“It was rather uneventful.”

“My grandpa walked out to the bus with him and told the bus driver that he was taking it in for show and tell.”

“Dad got to school, put the gun in his locker, and went and got it when it was time for show and tell.”

“He put it back in his locker after the presentation, then took it home on the bus.”

“Very different times.”  ~ wedapeopleeh

Lucky

“The teacher across the hall from me had a student who brought what he thought was a lucky rabbit foot to show to the class and excitedly announced he had enough for everyone in the class.”

“The rabbit foot was a tampon.”  ~ Saerica22

“My brother sent me a picture the other day of a sword one of his younger boys made out of the plastic part of a tampon applicators.”

“They have 2 teenage daughters and my friend that was on the text asked if he washed them.”

“The consensus was probably not.”  ~ Nate0110

“This reminds me… as a child I had an actual rabbit’s foot. My step dad at the time got it (I don’t know from where), but it wasn’t taxidermied (?) properly, basically just cut off, so there was still some blood and meat inside.”

“I carried it around in a plastic bag for at least two weeks, showing everybody very proudly, until the stench just got too much!”

“To this day I don’t know where he even got it from or how he or I thought this was a good idea.”  ~ Reddit

High Alert

“My brother found a scorpion at our house and captured it to bring for show and tell.”

“The scorpion got out somehow and the teacher had everyone on high alert to look for it and capture it.”

“Several children returned to the teacher having ‘found’ the scorpion.”

“That was the day we found out our school was infested with scorpions.”  ~ Youaresoogoodlooking

The Skull

“I had a student bring in ‘her grandfather’s skull.’”

“The class was horrified. It turned out that he was a doctor and it was the skull that he kept in his office as a model.”  ~ NinjaGinny

Got Tide?

“In my school some kid brought in his collection of ‘laundry rocks’ which were crumpled up pieces of paper that he put in his pockets and when his mom did the laundry they would turn hard like rocks.”

“He said he did it by accident once, liked it, and started deliberately putting crumpled paper in his pockets to make more.”  ~ Pro_Gamer_Queen21

Rotten on the inside…

“I taught 5th grade in a school with really rich kids and really low income kids bussed in.”

“One of the low-income kids brought a coconut for her show and tell about Trinidad, where her dad was from.”

“She cracked it open — it was completely rotten inside and smelled awful.”

“I was so worried about the kid being embarrassed, but then one of the rich kids (who was also of a pretty low intellect) looked at it with wide eyes and said “It’s like the earth: the core, the mantle and the crust!” which is something I think he had never really understood before.”

“So it actually turned out pretty well.”  ~ sanmateomary

Gas

“1993, grade 3 primary school in Australia.”

“My show and tell was rotten egg gas, I had a class mate hold a test tube that contained sulfur power while I added hydrochloric acid, no protective gear used. None of the adults saw any issue with this.”  ~ Unshavensmoe

Show and tell sounds like a game of survival in some of these cases.

But it’s clearly never dull.

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People Explain What Makes Them Nervous No Matter How Many Times They Do It

The world is a dangerous place sometimes.

According to a study by the CDC in 2018, nearly 24.8 million doctor’s visits were the cause of some sort of accident. While the odds are still in your favor of nothing happening to you when you step outside the door, the chances of it happening at all are enough to make people a little panicked whenever they do anything.

Driving behind a service truck with a lot of dangling equipment? Walking through a grassy field filled with sprinklers which haven’t been turned on all day? Going for that big meeting with your boss?

A lot can happen.

And you never really know, do you?

Reddit user, WinstonChurchillin, wanted to know what never gets easier.

They asked:

“What makes you nervous no matter how many times you do it?”

They’re Going To Disappear Into The Land Of Elves

“Walking over a storm drain with my keys in my hand” ~ Groovy_Chainsaw

Even When It’s Your Job

“Using my table saw. Even though I am a Carpenter.” ~ jakobrivers

“Handling an angle grinder makes me nervous. I have to use it frequently because of my job, but it never gets easier.” ~ CatCatRatRat

“For a couple months I had a job in a college machine shop. I was always healthily scared of those machines. You’d get trained up hearing the story of the lathe-hair girl and worse bloodcurdling tales.”

“Always follow procedure, always double-check, always know the emergency stops, and if possible always have someone within shouting distance.” ~ dishonourableaccount

It Could Mean Lots Of Things

“When my boss goes ‘can we just have a quick chat?’” ~ zagreus9

“Or “Come into my office when you get a chance. There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.” ~ DareWright

Teacher? Don’t Be This Teacher.

“Let’s break ourselves into small groups and…” ~ mayoroftheed

“And also, “Before we start, let’s go around the room and say a little bit about ourselves…” ~ ylssa26

“At meetings when they say, ‘Ok, everyone, let’s go around the room and introduce yourself’. Even worse when they require stupid things like, ‘Include your favorite food and why you like it’ or ‘Tell us why you’re here’. Uhhh…because it’s mandatory?” ~ DareWright

“The problem I have with this is I suddenly forget everything about myself.”

“Favorite food? ‘Oh god what have I eaten ever?’ Favorite movie? ‘I watch movies?’ Hobbies? ‘Is sleep a hobby, did I even sleep last night?’ Typically how it goes in my head.” ~ shermanerma

Nerves, Yes, But Perhaps A Little More Justified

“Driving in between two semi trucks on the freeway. Bonus points if one or both is carrying a bunch of logs…”

“…For the record, I am very aware that this is something one should not do unless you have to. The only times this happens to me is if I am in one of the middle lanes on a 4 or 5 lane highway and semis come up on either side.”

“In those cases, I speed up as quick as I can to pass one or the other. Always drive defensively!” ~ princess_mediocrity

“Driving behind a truck with an overhanging load too. I’m always terrified my depth perception will fail me and I’ll ram it with my windshield” ~ SxeySteve

“My fear is driving behind a car with even a mattress attached to roof….my former boss died after a mattress came off the car in front of him….I sure miss him as he taught me to drive a stick, which was cool, though the truck was older, 1992 type truck. :)” ~ shana104

Are They Clocking My Speed Or What?

“Drive in front of a police officer when I have no reason to be nervous.” ~ DapperCam

“sit next to one at traffic lights. Do I look at them? If I don’t does it look suspicious? do I pretend like I’m bored? WHAT DO I DO” ~ Jcit878

Wasting Everyone’s Time

“Walking out of a store without buying anything!” ~ KillerJupe

“I’m always paranoid that I’ll trigger the security alarm for no reason” ~ Violet_Hill

Anyone Ever Seen Children Of The Corn?

“Using a mandoline slicer.”

“Even using the safety guard I get a little queasy when I have to use it.” ~ yourtemporaryBFF

“I sliced my thumb open once because I thought I was too good for the guard. I never ever use it without the guard now and still get too nervous to cut that far down with it.” ~ TeamToaster2014

Your Entire Wobbler In Your Joinster Is Shot

“Anything that has to do with my car. I have been scammed even over a simple oil change.”

“even if I try to be confident, it’s very clear once I start talking that I have no clue about cars. Literally had someone quote $400 to change an air filter.”

“I said no because I could not afford it…. found out later how insane that quote was. Sadly that just fueled my fear.” ~ sebastianrileyt2

“I love it when they pull out my air filter to show me how dirty it is so they can charge me $100 to change it, and I’m like oh wow yeah I’ll have to change that. Now go put it back.” ~ SirWigglesVonWoogly

Concert Performers Everywhere Know What’s Up

“Tuning my violin.” ~ TheLettre7

“Ugh, when that E string snaps and whips you in the face…” ~ dailysunshineKO

“The E string is the worst, had one time it snapped while tuning before a concert. I was able to get a backup, but still it’s nerve racking.” ~ TheLettre7

How Do You…Use…Speak…Things?

“Calling someone on the phone. I’m a fairly outgoing person and I love talking to people, but I rely a lot on seeing a person’s face and observing their body language, which isn’t possible on the phone.”

“Voicemails are less terrible, but I still panic a little because if I mess up while leaving a message, the other person has a freaking recording of me being really awkward. I’m so thankful texting exists.” ~ smugmisswoodhouse

Double Check, Triple Check, Unplug It

“Sticking my hand inside the disposal when I drop a fork In it.”

“I’ve seen people telling me to unplug the disposal, how does one do that?” ~ The_Point-Man

Most of this is in your head.

Still, it never hurts to be a little extra cautious out there and make sure the disposal is unplugged.

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People Break Down The Most Random Science Facts

I love science.

Although I hated it in high school, now that I’m old… I mean an adult, I love it.

Why you ask?

Because the more science you learn, the more you can understand what’s happening around you and live better.

But science has sadly been under attack for the last several years.

So let’s be our own Bill Nye and absorb a bit of science for our own good.

Redditor Look_Under_The_Bed went to Reddit for all the best science on offer and asked:

“What’s a random science fact that you know?”

So let’s talk science…

You never know when you’ll need to spit out some random facts to impress people at parties.

And if nothing else, we’ll be better prepared for Jeopardy!.

Cry me a River…

“When you cry really hard, your nose runs because it’s connected to the same pipes as your tear ducts, so your nose is also helping you get your tears out.” ~ Threspian

“On a similar note, your nose runs when it’s cold out because you have created a heat gradient.”

“Warm air can hold more water than cool air so as you exhale, the water condenses at the end of your nose and so your nose runs.”  ~ wolfmoral

LOOK OUT BELOW!!!

“Squirrels can survive falling from terminal velocity.”  ~ terrariapro117

“I learned this after witnessing a squirrel hit the ground after a presumably long fall.”

“It made a loud SMACK as it hit the ground, scared the crap out of me and the dog, then scampered away, up another tree like nothing happened.”  ~ _cocophoto_

Time after Time…

“Time is slightly slower between higher altitudes and lower altitudes, to infinitesimal fractions of a second.”  ~ Redditor

“The designers of the GPS satellites had to compensate for this, since the entire system is built around ridiculously precise timekeeping.”

“It was calculated theoretically first as a consequence of general relativity, and then confirmed experimentally.” ~ Murgatroyd314

 Strength in opposing directions…

“Muscles can only contract. Muscle tissue can’t push.”

“Doesn’t sound like a big deal until you realize that actions like sticking your tongue out of your mouth are completely the result of pulling, not pushing.” ~ fd1Jeff

“I teach anatomy. Always fun to watch students work through this information for the first time.”

“That is a series of pulling and relaxing and the opposite movements are also pulling and relaxing.”

“i.e…triceps vs biceps.”  ~ Warlock2017

2 every solar system turn…

“Venus the only planet to spin clockwise.” ~ siglawoo

“Sun’s axis rotates a full turn about every 27 Earth days but since the Sun is not solid but a ball of plasma the rotation speeds are different at different latitudes.”

“At the equator it’s surface rotates faster, every 24 days.”

“Another fun fact: the orbital plane of the planets is tilted about 7 degrees in relation to the Sun’s axis mentioned above.”

“This should not be the case because of the way planets form around a star.”

“Astronomer’s suspect that the orbital plane of the planets tilted as a result of the gravity of a large planet size object that is no longer around.”

“Existence of this planet is hypothetical so it was given a name Planet X (or sometimes Planet 9). Other anomalies had been observed that could also suggest existence of such an object.”

“Example: grouping of planetoids on the outskirts of the Solar System.”

“The reason that the planet hasn’t been observed directly is that it’s so far away beyond Neptune that it doesn’t reflect enough sunlight to be seen with available technology.”

“Another proposed explanation for the orbital plane tilt is existence of a nearby planet-sized black hole which orbits the Sun but hasn’t been detected yet.”

“The new James Webb space telescope that will be launched soon should help to answer those questions.”  ~ aykontakt

“Makes you wonder. What if something hit Venus?”

“In Dynamics if two objects hit each other and their center of gravities aren’t along the path each was traveling, one will spin clockwise and the other counterclockwise.”

“Maybe Earth and Venus are the same size because we’re the result of two roughly similar sized objects hitting each other in space. Idk.”  ~ detectiveDollar

Within Reach…

“You’re closer to space than you are to anything more than about an hour’s drive away.”

“Most folks take “space” to be “outside of Earth’s atmosphere.”

“There’s no precise boundary to where Earth’s atmosphere ends and space starts, but a lot of people take the Kármán line to be as good a point as any to split atmosphere vs. space.”

This line is 100km/62 miles up, which is roughly the distance your grandma can drive in an hour on the highway.”  ~ meatfrappe

I see the resemblance…

“Tyrannosaurus was closer in time to Humans than to Stegosaurus.”  ~ jsreyn

“That explains why my arms are so short.”  ~ TransientFeelings

“Haha same! When I sit on a chair, I never know what to do with my arms.”

“If I put them on my legs near my hips, I end up slouching because I can’t sit straight and put my hands on my thighs.”

“So I cross my arms and then people say I look defensive.”  ~ Zealousideal9151

Human Waste in Orbit…

“If you bleed more than 100ml/min on the international space station, they write you off and say any medical supplies spent on you is a waste.”  

“It’s been years since I saw the article but I believe the only plan at that point was ‘get the astronaut to earth ASAP’ which, you know… isn’t done in a few minutes, soooo.”  ~ Wit-wat-4

Square cut or pear shaped…

“Diamonds aren’t forever. In fact, they are dust at 500 degrees in your oven for a few hours.”

“Diamonds aren’t pressure/temperature stable at the surface. If you heat them without also applying incredible pressure, they become CO2 and a little pile of carbon.”  ~ Driftmoth

Veggies keep you level…

“If you ever get a cut and it won’t seem to stop bleeding chances are you’re low on vitamin K as it’s the one that helps your blood clot. Vitamin K can be found in most vegetables.”  ~ orion284

“Especially leafy greens! Which is why people on warfarin (and certain other anticoagulants IIRC) need to be mindful of their greens intake… ideally.”

“They should eat them only in moderation and aim for the same amount every day to keep their warfarin levels stable.”  ~ sheepthechicken

Always Sunny, Everyday

“The sun rises on the ISS every ~90 minutes which is the time it takes to orbit the earth and so astronauts experience about 16 mornings everyday.”  ~ pseud0human

I feel like my IQ points just jumped exponentially.

There is definitely enough information there to make me look a tad more sophisticated at parties.

There is no such thing as useless knowledge! The more you know, the more you grow.

Maybe I should write for Hallmark…

Anyway, knowledge of science can be fun and keep us from making foolish mistakes or bad decisions.

Remember that kids.

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People Share Their Favorite ‘How The Hell Did They Discover That?’ Facts

Humanity, for all its faults, is pretty amazing. We’ve learned a lot of really cool things in our time on this planet.

But how did we learn some of it?

Like… who thought it’d be a good idea to prepare a venomous or otherwise dangerous creature for consumption? Didn’t the thought of some rather deadly trial and error frighten them away?

The answer to that is “nope,” in case you’re wondering, and we are referring to fugu, a dish prepared from a pufferfish that can be lethal for human consumption and can also sting when its spines enter the skin.

Fugu’s tetrodotoxin can be so lethal, in fact, it must be carefully prepared to remove the toxic parts and to avoid contaminating the meat.

The Japanese and other countries have strictly regulated fugu’s preparation, just in case you’re feeling adventurous.

But how did that first person grab the stinging, spiky fish blown up like a balloon and discover how to eat it without dropping dead?

Well, we don’t have an answer for that.

And what about other curious things human beings discovered?

Redditor Justoneaccount1234 asked the online community:

“What fact makes you think ‘What the f**k were they doing to discover that?’”

“She wasn’t too disgusted.”

“My mum was diagnosed with glaucoma a while back. She had to use eye drops which she said were derived from bull semen. She wasn’t too disgusted.”

“She was a nurse, she was just endlessly baffled with HOW anyone ever came up with that idea.”

“Like, you’d have to know a fair bit about semen to even think of its uses beyond the obvious one.”

“How do these people describe themselves on LinkedIn?” ~ SuzyJTH

“You know…”

“Hákarl.”

“You know, that shark that is usually poisonous unless you leave it to rot for months.” ~ ObscuraNox

“Chewing the nuts…”

“Coffee can be explained. Chewing the nuts gets you hyper, so someone distilled it.”

“Now black ivory coffee… that had to have been a prank, dare, or the most confusing chain of events for a bean farmer.”

“For those that don’t know, black ivory coffee is coffee made from beans passed through the digestive tract of elephants.”

“The enzymes in the elephant break down the protein in the bean, giving it a less bitter taste.” ~ chocki305

“I have an acquaintance…”

“I have an acquaintance who worked as a dog handler, showing purebred dogs in dog shows.”

“She swears that putting the tip of a wooden match into a dog’s anus is the preferred method for making the dog defecate before going into the show ring.”

“All I can think of is: Who was the drunk idiot that discovered that? How much alcohol was involved?”

“Why did they tell anybody what they’d done? (“Hey, you guys wanna see a trick? Here, Fido!”)” ~ NightmareGerbil

“Just to clarify…”

“I never understood why people started eating onions. I mean, I’m glad they did, but if I’m a caveman and try to eat a ‘food-like substance’ that if I break open makes me cry, I’m probably not ingesting it.”

“I mean, it doesn’t even want me to look at it and punished me for breaking it open. I don’t eat aggressive vegetables.”

“Just to clarify, I really love onions. I just wouldn’t have been the first one to try them.” ~ CanEyeBshy

“In the past two weeks…”

“Anything involving baking soda. In the past two weeks, I’ve used it to make banana bread and pretzels, as well as to disinfect a litter box and clean silver.” ~ _solarmax

“I mean, they figured out…”

“Toast. It had to be an accident, surely.”

“I mean, they figured out to grind the right grains, the right ratio of yeast and water and sugar, etc., and how to cook it to make beautiful beautiful bread.”

“I swear, it must have been an accident that someone was too close to a fire and because of, I dunno, poverty or ignorance, it got eaten and the nirvana that is toast was achieved.

“Who would ever think, ‘This bread is great, I’ll cook it again’?” ~ kiki73

“One presumes…”

“The ancient/medieval alchemists left a lot of records of the substances they studied.”

“They cataloged all the properties they observed for each one – including the taste. One presumes that for the data to be passed on, one had to record the taste test promptly.” ~ schleppenwolf

“The process to make it properly…”

“Chocolate. The process to make it properly is incredibly finicky and takes a long time from start to finish.”

“What’s more, it’s not like a lot of things mentioned here that were probably just the result of being desperately hungry.” ~ mechanate

“Maybe I don’t understand…”

“The complex chemical processes to make certain drugs.”

“Maybe I don’t understand chemistry well enough, but how would they have known the effect that certain drugs, like cocaine, would have on a person?”

“Or was it made for some other purpose and someone said, ‘Hey, this looks like a good thing to crush up so that I can snort it up through my nose.’”

“It just seems weird.” ~ goodietwoshoe

“For those who aren’t familiar…”

“Casu marzu.”

“For those who aren’t familiar with it, it’s a cheese made from sheep’s milk with live maggots in it.”

“It’s actually illegal under EU regulations but there is still black market production because apparently, people want to eat live maggots.” ~ adeon

“They were lucky…”

“When saccharine was first synthesized, the creators didn’t know it was going to be safe to consume.”

“And yet, against the most basic law of the chemistry lab (do not under any circumstances eat that thing you just created, everything can and WILL kill you), they decided that meh, a little bit couldn’t hurt.”

“They were lucky and it was sweet and safe, but seriously don’t eat the stuff you just made from tar – it literally didn’t exist an hour before.” ~ coelicolored

The funny thing about a lot of these responses, at least to me, is the number of people who rest on the assumption that starvation wasn’t a common way to die for many millennia.

You’d be surprised what human beings will eat—and certainly figure out is okay to eat—when they are hungry and there is no other option.

I suppose we should thank them for their discoveries.

Oh, and while we’re at it, be even more thankful we didn’t have to be the ones to do all of these experiments.

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15 Times When People Shared WAY Too Much Information With Other Folks

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re just thinking “why is this person talking to me and when will they stop?”

Reddit certainly has. I mean, holy crap, just look at this:

What’s the most fucked up thing someone has told you about themselves after barely getting to know them? from AskReddit

A lot of these stories are pretty disturbing, so, proceed at your own risk.

1. The worst depths of the closet

In third year university, heading home from a late night of studying for midterms, i met a kid crying in one of the stairwells of the university centre.

I asked him if he was alright and sat down with him, he was a foreign student, his english wasn’t strong, but he said his life was over, family was going to disown him, he had nowhere to go, etc.

So i asked some more questions and then he came out and said he thinks he’s gay, and his parents are from a conservative culture which says it’s NOT Ok, he doesn’t know anyone here other than a few ultra conservative foreign students from his country, and he felt like there was nothing he could do, nowhere he could go, all that.. I felt so bad for the guy, he asked if he could hug me, which was a bit awkward, but i said ya and held him for a bit.

Then we spoke for another like 30 mins and i told him all about the free counselling options at the school, and how nice and understanding they were for my mental issues, told him that his sexuality wasn’t as rare as he thought, and there were plenty of gay people at the school, some of whom felt just like him. I gave him a business card for the councillor i was seeing, gave him my number if he wanted to talk, and headed out.

He called me to talk and meet up on campus and thank me a few weeks later, and then i never saw him again.

Hope the dude’s found comfort in his skin and a happy life in canada.

– avanross

2. The troubled adventurer

I’m a female, and I met a girl at A local coffee joint. There were regulars coming there for months. So we chatted casually..

But one day I was going to drive to see friends 3 hours away for a fun filled weekend. She said it sounded fun and I don’t know why but I invited her. She said yes and I picked her up the next day. Mind you, we were both around 19.

Well it was a three hour journey of hearing her life stories. She told me she was bulimic and used to hide jars of vomit under her bed from her parents so she wouldn’t get in trouble. She ran away and left them there.

Then I heard about an Amtrak ride she took when running away that was three days long. She met an older couple on there and spent the three days doing drugs and having threesomes with them. I’m sure there was more but those things stuck with me.

She ended up getting pregnant by another guy at the coffee joint who she constantly told everyone how big his d**k was. I never saw her after that.

Naive 19yo me just sat there driving and thinking, holy f**k. Me now is still thinking holy f**k to be honest. I hope she’s ok. 19 year old me had no idea how to support her.

– milf_2sugars

3. The self-aware addict

Moved to a neighborhood not to long ago first person I meet was a older woman in her 50s.

She told me all about her drug use and how sometimes she ends up outside naked and asked if I would help her back inside and put clothes on her.

This was all in 5 minutes of saying hello.

– Horribleheadaches

4. “I’m just here to work”

Used to work at a ski resort and was working in a different area than I normally work.

Well this lady who I was working with found out I was slightly acquainted with her fiance and proceeded to tell me all about how his family hates her and is mean to her and all about his substance abuse issues.

I don’t remember all the details because it was a few years ago but she unloaded on me with every issue of her relationship and I’m like I’m just here to work. I didn’t really even know her fiance. I avoided that lady after that.

– beau8888

5. The weekend warrior

My favorite ever was some stranger outside a bar.

Seemed normal enough until she said “My husband and I used to do meth, but we don’t anymore.”

I applauded her on this and then she followed up with “Yeah, now we only have meth weekends.”

– FaintCommand

6. The ghost whisperer

Worked in a catalogue store and sold a middle aged lady a dictaphone after she sheepishly asked me if there was something she could use to record people without them knowing. It was weird, but who am I to judge, I just work the tills and suggest the items. However she then decides to tell me she needs it, because she’s being bullied or harassed in her home. So she buys the dictaphone and I think nothing of it.

On my next shift, she is back in and demanding to speak to me about the device. First words out her mouth are “should there already be voices on it”. I was kind of weirded out and surprised to hear that the device had already been used.

But then she leans across the counter and suddenly begins telling me (in whisper tone) that she is being attacked by spirits in her home and she needs proof. She plays the dictaphone without being prompted to do so. Anyway there’s nothing ghostly on it, just some mundane household sounds and eastenders (a british soap opera).

She became quite fond of me, came in repeatedly to tell me about the ghosts, but it just seemed so crazy that within like two shifts she had unloaded all her delusions. She even asked to know where I had went after moving away. My old colleagues obviously didn’t tell her. She was a harmless lady, just a bit odd.

– conorb_93

7. Well that escalated quickly…

Hired an older plumber (in his 60s) at the company I worked at when I was an apprentice and I got put with him during his first week.

Within 10 minutes of meeting him the small talk topic of his choice was that his mail order Thai wife had died a few months ago and that he’s been plowing through prostitutes and he recommends hiring a Cambodian woman as they are by far the best in bed.

– Slignig

8. The kink master

We were 17, first year of uni, and I had known the guy for a week or two tops.

Out of f**king nowhere, he tells me he had a kink for getting farted in the face by girls. I p**sed myself laughing and we became good friends for a while.

– I_hate_traveling

9. The massage enthusiast

At a work Christmas party, it was mentioned we were going to Vancouver for a meeting next month.

New guy is so excited he’s losing his mind. He proceeded to tell us about how they have the best massage (happy ending kind) parlours. He went on and on about how great they were last time he went, he also told us about etiquette and what to expect.

He was married with three kids, and all I could think of, is what kinda s**t is he not telling me if he is this open about this

– emotionalsupporttank

10. The listener

A friend of a friend of mine and I were sleeping on some couches after a party and we got to talking. More so her than me, I’m definitely a better listener than talker. She confided in me that she watched her boyfriend (might have been fiance?) pull a gun and shoot himself in the head in front of her.

She also told me how she and her best friend of years, someone I knew for a very short time, and her had been urban exploring on a smoke stack catwalk in an abandoned paper mill and she watched her friend miss a step and fall to her death.

She wasn’t making these things up either, the next day I mentioned to our mutual friend that she had opened up to me about this stuff and he confirmed it was sadly true about the boyfriend committing suicide. The accidental death I had known about through the news, I didn’t know she was the person with her though.

Poor girl witnessed the loss of two very important people to her and at the time she was only 19-20 when she told me this. I hope talking to a near stranger helped though, even if all I did was listen.

– mrdotkom

11. The realities of addiction

When I was in rehab, my roommate whom was only 18 told me that she had been stripping and selling herself since she was 11 to get her dope. And that you can “connect the dots” of the abscess scars on her arm. She’d continually shoot up in a spot till she got an abscess and then she’d just cut it out of her arm herself.

Being an ex-heroin addict myself, abscesses weren’t anything new but the fact that this tiny little 18 year old girl (she couldn’t have weighed more than 90 pounds,) had nine abscess scars on just one arm, I just couldn’t even wrap my head around that.

You hear some of the worst f**king stories ever in rehab (and I’ve been to ten during my entire addiction) but this was one of the worst I had ever heard. Especially because she was so nice and had such an innocent way about her. It was heartbreaking.

– buttononmyback

12. The baggage of grief

I started working at a flower shop as a delivery driver and on the very first day of training the woman I was paired with proceeded to tell me all about how she was still processing her parents’ deaths. Went into great detail, explained the stresses of funeral arrangements and how she had to dress her mother for the viewing because her siblings weren’t able to handle it. Even told me about a text message she believes she had gotten from her mother after she passed.

I did my best to be sympathetic but we were out on a 4 hour delivery drive and she definitely took the opportunity of a captive audience to dump a serious amount of baggage. At a certain point I just didn’t know what to say anymore.

– redradbot

13. The frightening smile

I met a guy once at work, we talked for about 5 minutes and he was suspiciously way too nice.

After a few minutes later and just to give me “context”, he told me he had attempted suicide several times and that he could be violent sometimes.

We kept talking like it was nothing for like 15 more minutes. During al the conversation he never stopped smiling

– TotalCardiologist793

14. Monsters, Inc

I grew up somewhere that gets very cold and dark in the winter months. In my mid 20’s I worked for a medium sized local bank that had bought an even smaller bank.

Right before close, during a snow storm, a woman came in with really old financial documents that smelled of mildew. She claimed her husband had accounts with the current bank and that she needed all the money out and close accounts.

Problem was the paperwork she had was not for either of the banks described and her husband was not in the system.

Then she proceeded to tell us how her husband had died after being attacked by a werewolf who was actually her husband’s brother. And that her husband was also a werewolf. She claimed she needed the money for protection.

After muttering a little more and randomly walking around the lobby agitated, she left.

Luckily my manager was really cool and dealt with talking with her and I was a bystander but it was still a very weird thing to hear especially under the circumstances.

Gave bad vibes for sure.

– Ortuatra

15. The sadist

Dude got hired at my job and within the hour, not only was he saying massively homophobic and racist s**t, he also told a story.

A story about how, at his second job the day before, his coworker got his hand caught in a machine. This dude absolutely delighted in telling us that, not only did he openly laugh in his face while the dude sat there sobbing in pain with a missing hand, he also kept telling the guy that he was going to be in debt for the rest of his life because no one’s going to pay for the accident, his wife is going to leave him, he was going to lose his job, etc.

Basically whatever he could say to make this dudes awful day even worse. And he got glee out of it!

The second he finished that story I told him to gtfo and never come back (i was M.O.D) because what the actual f**k

– D**dosinthesky

What can I say but yikes.

Have you had an experience like this?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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