These Random Tweets Will Be Hilarious from Now Until Forever

There are certain jokes out there that are just timeless. No matter how many times you hear them, how many views you rack up on the video, or how many times you relate it to your friends, you can’t help but crack up.

I humbly submit these tweets under that same category.

17. Aspirations!

16. People’s minds, I swear…

15. I hope they’re being paid union wages

14. Also don’t buy a duvet cover

13. What even?!

12. A wise man

11. I can’t

10. Among other things

9. Right? Ew.

8. Life lessons…

7. Me.

6. As one does…

5. Dying!

4. Well-argued

3. Solidarity

2. If this doesn’t make you snort… what’s wrong with you?!

1. This is one of the weirdest things humans do!

Love it!

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These Twitter Posts Were the Reason We Smiled Today

Some days, the only thing that can put a smile on my face is hilarious people on Twitter.

So please keep tweeting y’all! Because you sure are funny!

1. Hey, I’d buy it!

2. From now on… avocadoes will be known as this. So says me.

3. Well, that’s one to do it…

4. I want to party with this girl. Eventually.

5. I see you!

6. Rough day.

7. It had to happen eventually…

8. She earned it!

9. I think you just did it…

10. Honesty is the best policy!

11. WHAT IS THAT?!?

Alright, if you didn’t laugh, I’ve got nothing more for you.

Go try Buzzfeed or something.

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Brave Women Are Sharing Their Abortion Stories with the Hashtag #YouKnowMe

Right now is a scary time to be a woman in America.

People who support a woman’s right to choose what she does with her reproductive health are trying anything they can to make sure the message is spread far and wide that even if people don’t think they know somebody who has had an abortion… they do.

A lot of people have shared their story, but Busy Philipps recently shared a story on her talk show about her experience…

Busy also shared some statistics… with the hashtag #YouKnowMe

Folks, 25% of all women have had an abortion at some point in their lives. If you didn’t know that stat before, now you do.

Naturally, people are taking up the hashtag and sharing their stories…

Yes, women will die.

Lots and lots of women.

And it doesn’t matter what their reason is..

Because these are incredibly difficult choices…

And without those choices, women literally lose their rights as human beings…

Because imagine a world where rapists just get to have children because they commit a crime…

And the only option being a hotel room in the middle of nowhere…

Women need to be able to plan their lives…

Without fear of consequence for ONE moment taking over their entire life…

Again, these are health care decisions, first and foremost…

And nobody should ever make that decision for another person.

Yes, we all know somebody who had an abortion. And their reasons, while their own, are completely justifiable.

Anybody who tells you differently is just trying to interfere with a woman’s civil rights.

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Enjoy These Funny Tweets About Anxiety When You Need a Break

Dealing with anxiety really sucks. It can affect your job, your relationships, and every other aspect of your life in negative ways. But one way to deal with the ailment is to try to laugh at it, at least every once in a while.

As the old saying goes, laughter is the best medicine.

At the very least, these tweets will remind you that you are not alone in your struggle.

1. This should help

2. You can do it!

3. Please?

4. Need a little change

5. Pretty funny

6. #GetAnxious

7. Pleased to meet you!

8. Ahhhh, that’s better

9. Which one will it be today?

10. Get prepared

11. Damn!

12. Hahahaha

13. Nothing but mumbling…

14. Very true

15. That’s not a bad idea

16. Uh oh

17. Run!

18. That’s a brilliant idea

19. Don’t tell me that!

20. Oh, the possibilities…

Keep your chin up! Things will get better!

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10+ Tweets That You Need in Your Life Right Now

You need to read these tweets RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

And I don’t want to hear any arguments.

So go do it!

1. You sonofabitch!

2. I ask for gum…

3. He does. He does…

4. Fam is fam

5. Naw, it’s the first kind of description for me…

6. That skull-having motherfucker! That’s mine!

7. If this doesn’t make you laugh, you dead.

8. I hungry.

9. Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!

10. Ohhhh gurl!!! You got them ketchup fingers…

11. I love this man

12. Don’t think you haven’t thought this before…

13.

See? I told you that you needed them tweets!

You’re welcome!

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These Dating Tweets Are so Relatable We Can Hardly Deal with It

Need some relatable dating tweets? Of course you do, what a silly question!

Enjoy!

1. Oh, you too? Hmmm, there’s a lot of us these days…

2. Why do our minds always go there?!?

3. And that trash patch in the middle of the ocean is massive!

4. But what if I don’t want a date right now…

5. lol just jk…

6. Yes, we did hug at the end. Who wants more details?

7. Is this one of those prank shows?

8. Oh no. No no no…

9. You just hope it’s lil ugly instead of big pretty…

10. Oh stop it! You wouldn’t make babies cry… much.

11. Damn… who do you hang around?

12. Yeah, but how big is that wall’s d**k?

13. So is that a fire sign or…?

14. Yeah, don’t fly too close to the sun…

15. Just 623? Amateur…

16. She has a point…

If you didn’t relate to anything in that pile of wisdom, I don’t know what to tell you.

Maybe look on Insta and following some influencers, because I got nothing more for ya.

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All Women Have the Same Freckle on Their Wrist. Take a Look, We’ll Wait.

A Twitter user recently pointed out something that was staring us in the face this whole time, but none of us noticed this feature most women have in common.

It started off with an innocent question…

“Ladies… you got a freckle on the middle of your wrist or is this a myth,” Aaryn asked.

The answer was YASSSSS!!!! So many women had a freckle in that exact spot!

And so they shared…

Because this is wild, ya’ll!

Shocking to say the least!

Some weren’t so sure…

But that’s because they didn’t look closely enough!

And yeah, you’re right to freak…

Because it’s there. Just need to uncover it.

And look at both wrists, ladies!

To answer the following question: “Because.”

So yeah… that’s crazy right?

The question is now… do you have a freckle in the middle of your wrist?

Snap a shot and leave it in the comments!

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20 Tweets for People Who Are over Summer and Ready for Fall

There are a whole lot of people out there who already want summer to end. Like, IMMEDIATELY.

If you’re more of a fall person who loves the changing leaves, hot cocoa, and cold autumn evenings, these tweets are for you.

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A Woman Claimed Poor People Have No Class. People on Twitter Politely Showed Her Who Really Has No Class.

Get ready to meet someone who is completely terrible!

This self-proclaimed ‘blue collar millionaire’ cause outrage on Twitter when she had the nerve to say, “broke people are usually very low class, have extremely bad manners, have zero etiquettes and no class at all whatsoever.”

Yeah, it’s gonna get ugly…

The beginning is friendly enough… O_O

And we can all relate to this story, right???

To be fair, I can actually see how this would be annoying…

Melissa… maybe you’re trying too hard?

I honestly don’t believe this happened…

Because I can’t imagine people who LOVE food not wanting “food” like this…

But let’s just say this is true… THIS is what ruined you forever with people?

Sure you do Melissa. All of those high end friends just LOVING those lavish gifts you’re sending their way…

And, well, things on Twitter got ugly from there.

Because why not?

She kind of had it coming…

The irony is not lost on Twitter…

And is this really about desserts? Or something more?

I’m dead.

Positive vibes only pls…

Classy is as classy does…

Oh bless her up and down and left and right…

Right? Totally positive!

This could be it!

But is she rich? IS SHE?!?!

Melissa apparently couldn’t handle the ‘positivity.’

But we all know why she did this. So other people would visit her website.

Does this actually work? Can she shame people into buying her shit?

Your thoughts on this wealthy and classy person? Comment them down below and let us know.

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A Guy Tweeted His Story of Accidentally Smuggling Drugs and It Should Seriously Be a Movie

Do this mental exercise with me… imagine that your best friend calls you up and randomly invites you on a road trip. You’d say yes, right?

And then you find $40,000 worth of heroin.

I’m not going to give anything else away because ALL of this is edge-of-your-seat reading.

It all started with a random phone call from a friend.

They make the necessary arrangements and away they go!

And, yanno, they buy a van to make the trip more comfortable…

Next, they stopped in Santa Barbara.

It was all going great!

But Shane had an idea: “What if I make some modifications to the van?”

Aside from some strange shit going on with the engine, everything else was going smoothly…

They camped at Mt. Shasta and enjoyed the view.

Eventually, though, the van need some fixing…

And now, the REAL story begins.

They found an entire BRICK of drugs…

And then somebody unexpected shows up…

They thought they were royally screwed…

Luckily nothing happened even though it was a close call.

So what did they do? Well… maybe some of us would do this, but not many…

Now, this is where everything goes wrong.

Yes, the guy who put the brick in the van came calling…

However, Shane managed to outsmart him.

How many of you would have tried this? I wouldn’t have…

So, he quickly got in touch with the guy he sold the van to and started making arrangements.

Shane keeps going with the scam…

To make everything look more genuine, he added a little twist.

The only thing left was to make a fake heroin brick.

And then… it was showtime!

That’s when Shane realized he had gotten involved with the wrong crowd.

No one suspected anything; the plan worked.

Or did it?

They agreed on $5000.

But, this is where sh*t actually got real.

Yep, Shane got caught.

However, there was some room for doubt.

Though he talked his way out of the mess, it was still not over.

Then Shane found himself in yet another situation.

They were the same guys.

And they finally found out…

It was a life and death situation, so Shane escaped when he got the chance.

He continued to play dumb and actually made it out alive.

As it turns out, they were MS-13 gang members.

So, what did you think about Shane’s story? Would you have done the same?

Oh, you wouldn’t have? ME NEITHER!!!!!

Jeezus…

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