Category: Twitter

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12 of the Most Amusing Things Kids Ever Said

When I was a kid, I realized that as we got older, we got taller. So far so good. I was also informed by my mom that some day, I would most likely be taller than my older sister, since boys tend to be taller than girls on average.

With these two bits of information in my head, I came to the conclusion that one day, I would be older than my older sister. I was elated. Because age means seniority, and seniority is power. Soon I would be at the top of the pecking order. I lorded this over her, only to have her shut it down with a “no, that’s not how it works.”

I was livid. Inconsolable. My dumb kid brain couldn’t put it all together. But it makes for a funny story now. Just like these tweets!

12. I’m sorry?

We need to find a new way to communicate this sentiment in English.

11. I said IF

That kid’s gonna grow up to have an anxiety disorder.

10. Screen it

It’s fun to have superpowers for just a little while.

9. Pig out

She a little confused but she got the spirit.

8. The nug

He’s just trying to improve the recipe, why won’t you live a little?

7. Baby you’re a firework

It’s gonna be an explosive realization later in life.

6. The nose knows

Riiiiight, that’s your story and your sniffing to it.

5. Ahoy there!

Hey, as long as they’ve got a name to attach to it.

4. Sleepy time

Sounds like you need to find a better dealer, kid.

3. Master of sneak

Kids love this game and every single one of them is horrible at it.

2. A magical realm

Not sure if this really happened or not but man is it funny.

1. Cyber sleuth

*Hacker voice* I’m in.

From the mouths of babes, am I right?

What’s a dumb thing a kid has said to you?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 12 of the Most Amusing Things Kids Ever Said appeared first on UberFacts.

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These People Are Living Their Best Married Lives

Audrey Hepburn once said “If I get married, I want to be very married.”

She was married and divorced twice in her life, so it seems like maybe she accomplished the goal of being very married, and good for her.

A lot of other people who fit that description seem to be mostly hanging out on Twitter, complaining/venting/joking about it to the rest of us.

Just take these very married tweets for example.

13. Special delivery

Ya gotta keep things fresh, yanno.

12. Flavor of love

Kinda sounds like you’re both childish but ok.

11. Folding in

Pay attention, because this is going to be extremely important, apparently.

10. Not ok

These are the signs that you are officially slipping into old age.

9. Play the fool

You gotta pay attention.

8. Very alarming

If this were me we’d be sleeping in separate bedrooms. Maybe separate houses.

7. Sleepy time

You set a new record!

6. I scream, you scream

How else am I to enjoy a cool Summer treat in the winter?

5. You’ve been replaced

Your one function on this earth has now been eliminated.

4. A toast to you!

Look don’t make me say it again.

3. A special meeting

Now, if you’ll all open up your binders…

2. The reason for the season

He’s gonna be real confused when those fifty boxes turned out to be one tie, somehow.

1. Must see TV

You know that you can’t look away.

Welp, it doesn’t get much more married than that.

What’s your best bit of marriage/relationship advice?

Tell us in the comments.

The post These People Are Living Their Best Married Lives appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Tweets to Make Everything Better

I opened up Twitter for the express purpose of copying one (1) Tweet URL to place in this article, and I ended up spending no less than forty five minutes in an argument with a stranger about whether or not the week starts on Sunday or Monday.

Twitter is a darkly magical place like that, it’ll suck you in and rarely let you go. But there’s also plenty of funny to be found, and we love to see it. It’s what keeps us all coming back for more. Like these ten funny treats, for example.

10. Patience

This is all the financial planning I have in my life.

9. Water, water everywhere

My dehydrated body hates me so very much.

8. What’s in the box?

Yanno, the “special delivery” isn’t so special when it happens literally every day.

7. Corny thoughts

I for one could do without them for the rest of my life, thank you very much.

6. Snack attack

Please leave us be, we’re having a very intimate moment.

5. They’re listening

Turns out the tinfoil hat crowd were just head of their time.

4. It’s a gas

There’s simply no way he’ll be able to recover from this.

3. Cooking things up

I can’t make room for my milk jug and somehow I STILL can’t find anything to eat for lunch.

2. Extravagant lifestyles

You just gotta find your bliss where ya can, you know.

1. Whatever floats your boat

Just leave me here, I’m a rain person now.

Thanks for being you, Twitter. Don’t ever change.

Who are the funniest people to follow on the platform?

Give us your picks in the comments.

The post Funny Tweets to Make Everything Better appeared first on UberFacts.

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Wives Who Are Way Funnier Than Their Husbands

It can feel like dads (and men in general) get all of the credit for making jokes and such, but the truth is, women are totally hilarious – and when ladies are cracking jokes about marriage and family life, it’s totally awesome.

If you need proof (or just like to laugh) these 11 wives have their humor locked and loaded!

11. I mean, if you want to live.

Or stay married. Which it doesn’t seem like this husband wants to.

10. There is one of each kind of person in every relationship.

It won’t work otherwise. Just go with it, guys!

9. She would know.

At least, I hope so. I guess we’ll have to review the footage.

“What footage?” you ask. Shhhhhhh!

8. We’ve seen so many of those.

Every other picture looks amazing now.

7. He forgot to specify fun for who.

Rookie mistake.

6. You know what’s crazy, right?

Doing the same thing and expecting different results.

5. Why do we even bother?

We’re eternal optimists, I suppose.

4. See, even Twitter knows.

And they’re not even married to you.

3. And definitely don’t go looking for brie tomorrow.

It won’t be there, my friend.

2. I cannot like this fast enough.

The other option is murder.

1. There are worse things.

Especially if there are actual wings for you to nosh.

I aspire to be this funny one day! Or maybe even two days. It would be nice to have two days where I am this funny.

Is it pushing to dream for three? Possibly four?

I’ll just stick with the one for now.

Which one of these had you saying “yaaassss girl” under your breath? Tell us in the comments!

The post Wives Who Are Way Funnier Than Their Husbands appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Tweets That Are Peak 2020

If I had any wishes for this awful year, it would be that it never gets mentioned in polite conversation again.

And yet… I know that’s not realistic. I know we’ll be talking about 2020 for DECADES to come. And we’ll be going over how awful and crazy this year was again and again and again.

So, given that reality… why not keep talking about it now and find the lighter side?

That’s what these tweeple are doing, and I’m here for it.

If not to laugh… then perhaps to cry?

Let’s take a look!

1. I really don’t need to be on that Zoom call, right

I’m just going to hang out with my feels.

2. The most 2020 math equation ever

I’m so over this year.

3. They’re not doing that well.

Because I am one of those people… and I hate life right now.

4. Also, if you don’t have a life, booze will give you one!

It won’t last long, but, yanno… YOLO!

5. Also, quarantine Day 673

I will do this every single day, regardless.

6. Gurlllllll

I don’t think that relationship is gonna work out…

7. I mean… same same

Hypersonic? Maybe. Funky fresh? No.

8. I should be terrified, but instead I’m intrigued.

I’d hang out with this gal!

9. I knew it!

Emails can’t find people… only people can find emails. Think about it…

10. Sounds like a plan!

It’s a bold move Cotton, let’s see if it works out for them…

All of those tweets are bangers. For real. And you can’t convince me otherwise.

But… that’s my hot take. What’s yours? Let us know in the comments.

Thanks fam!

The post Funny Tweets That Are Peak 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

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Some of the Best Facebook Posts of the Year That Will Give You the Laughs You Need

How are you doing, friend? Good, I hope. And it’s about to get better. Much better.

Why? Because we went out to the Twitter… to find the best of Facebook.

Make sense? Yeah, of course it does. How can it not? It’s so easy to follow.

Let’s take a look at these 11 Facebook posts that will give you life, laughs and love.

1. Lol… my kid is trash. Pls help me.
Gotta love the honesty!

Poor kid 🙁 from sadcringe


2. Merry Beanmas!
This is gross… but also fantastic, right?


3. That’s actually how it works.
Do you even Spanish, bro?


4. Gotta give ALL the love to Dolly, fam!
Jolene… Jolene… Jolene…


5. Oh snap! You got the daughter you need.
I honestly don’t even know how to read this.


6. When you find these diamonds in the rough…
Gotta polish them up!


7. I am endlessly fascinated by this!
What in the heck are people doing during quarantine?!


8. When you just want your money back from your mistake…
Go to Facebook and GET THAT MONEY!


9. People get THIS excited about Christmas?
Good lord!


10. Doing it Fred Flintstone style!
Hope you’ve got some great shoes!


11. What in the actual what?
I mean… at least they can rhyme.

And that, my friends, is how laughter is made. One Facebook at a time… and one Twitter post that highlights that Facebook post.

All of that makes sense, right? It’s not really that hard to figure out. It’s a clear path from Facebook to Twitter to here. Simple!

Okay, any of these make you laugh out loud? Let us know in the comments!

Thanks, fam!

The post Some of the Best Facebook Posts of the Year That Will Give You the Laughs You Need appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Posts That Left Them Seriously LOLing

2020 has been an absolutely garbage year, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all sit back and laugh at other people’s stupidity for a moment, right?

If you’ve had a bad day or even if you’d had an okay day… it’s completely okay to guffaw at other people’s painful bad decision making for a moment.

And if you haven’t been on Facebook for a minute… bruh… you’re welcome!

1. Isn’t that like CHURCH size Jesus?
Can you imagine sleeping underneath that thing? GAAAHHHHHH!!!

2. No Mabel, that’s not what it means.
Mind your own business and your own ovaries, kid!

My grandma thought I love babies doing yoga from oldpeoplefacebook


3. I feel this deep down in my soul.
So damn deep.

It do tho from facebookwins


4. I’d let Shaun stay as LONG as he wants.
He’s got the fire posts, y’all!

Anyone want to go to the shoe store? from facebookwins


5. I have a feeling this isn’t really good for the engine…
Fun statement… but naw… time to demask the car.

Just saw this on my Facebook newsfeed. from funny


6. Is this what dentures look like between teeth?
Asking for a friend. No, asking for me.

My grandma decided she’d post a pic of her smiling every day to cheer everyone up from oldpeoplefacebook


7. There’s so much that’s right about this.
And so much that’s very wrong too. I love it.

My aunt from oldpeoplefacebook


8. Was he undressing you with his eyes?
How do you know he works for NASA? Hmmmmmmmmmm????

I feel like being in a Flat Earth group is just cheating… from insanepeoplefacebook

9. I mean… he’s not wrong!
BUT… you know somebody will just strip that audio out. Right?

10. Should somebody tell him?
I think somebody should tell him. In Spanish.

So, were we right or were we right? Well, it’s just me, actually.

Was I right or was I right?

Yeah, I was right.

Okay, which one of these made you really LOL?

Let us know in the comments!

The post People Share Posts That Left Them Seriously LOLing appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Posts That Left Them Seriously LOLing

2020 has been an absolutely garbage year, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all sit back and laugh at other people’s stupidity for a moment, right?

If you’ve had a bad day or even if you’d had an okay day… it’s completely okay to guffaw at other people’s painful bad decision making for a moment.

And if you haven’t been on Facebook for a minute… bruh… you’re welcome!

1. Isn’t that like CHURCH size Jesus?
Can you imagine sleeping underneath that thing? GAAAHHHHHH!!!

2. No Mabel, that’s not what it means.
Mind your own business and your own ovaries, kid!

My grandma thought I love babies doing yoga from oldpeoplefacebook


3. I feel this deep down in my soul.
So damn deep.

It do tho from facebookwins


4. I’d let Shaun stay as LONG as he wants.
He’s got the fire posts, y’all!

Anyone want to go to the shoe store? from facebookwins


5. I have a feeling this isn’t really good for the engine…
Fun statement… but naw… time to demask the car.

Just saw this on my Facebook newsfeed. from funny


6. Is this what dentures look like between teeth?
Asking for a friend. No, asking for me.

My grandma decided she’d post a pic of her smiling every day to cheer everyone up from oldpeoplefacebook


7. There’s so much that’s right about this.
And so much that’s very wrong too. I love it.

My aunt from oldpeoplefacebook


8. Was he undressing you with his eyes?
How do you know he works for NASA? Hmmmmmmmmmm????

I feel like being in a Flat Earth group is just cheating… from insanepeoplefacebook

9. I mean… he’s not wrong!
BUT… you know somebody will just strip that audio out. Right?

10. Should somebody tell him?
I think somebody should tell him. In Spanish.

So, were we right or were we right? Well, it’s just me, actually.

Was I right or was I right?

Yeah, I was right.

Okay, which one of these made you really LOL?

Let us know in the comments!

The post People Share Posts That Left Them Seriously LOLing appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Tweets That We Think Will Make You LOL

We’re here to bring you another solid installment of hilarious tweets that we’re very confident will make you LOL…by the way, that means “Laugh Out Loud” for all you older folks out there. These kids today, I’ll tell ya…they sure are something else…

Anyway, back to the tweets!

This collection is sure to make you laugh your *sses off, so let’s get ‘er done, okay!

Start now!

1. You really shouldn’t believe anything I say.

That’s on you, friend!

2. Is this really necessary?

I was never a fan of that…

3. That’s a fun way to look at it.

Let’s enjoy ourselves a little bit, shall we?

4. It’s never too late.

Push for it! You deserve it!

5. Not the best opening line I’ve ever heard.

But some people might like it?

6. Now you need my help?!?!

We’ll see about that…

7. Who was that person?

I don’t even recognize them…

8. No you can’t spend money for another couple weeks.

Does this sound like your life?

9. Motherhood in the 21st Century.

Log in so we can look at your baby book.

10. Time to move it on over.

The game keeps changing, doesn’t it?

11. That’s really all you need in life.

We should all be so lucky!

12. Here come the waterworks.

Does this make you cry every time?

13. Yeah, I’m with you on this one.

Shorts and sweats only!

 

Hey, that was the good stuff!

And now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, share some of the funniest tweets that you’ve seen lately that really made you laugh.

Please and thank you!

The post Funny Tweets That We Think Will Make You LOL appeared first on UberFacts.

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Ready to Laugh? These Tweets Are Gonna Help You Get ‘ER Done!

I’m pretty sure you’re in the same boat as me, but I need some laughs!

Or maybe even three…

Because it’s been a long year filled with all kinds of bad news and the only thing I can really see helping out right now is some laughter.

And these tweets deliver!

So let’s take a look. And remember, give yourself a break once in a while and treat your brain to a few LOLs.

1. Do you have any Internet friends like this?

I know I do…

2. This is gonna get ugly…

Enough with the risotto, already!

3. It’s okay, I’m on vacation.

I’ll also take that $150 teddy bear, please.

4. Betrayed, but proud.

I wonder where this relationship is headed…

5. It’s a weird no-man’s-land.

Like being trapped in the Twilight Zone…

6. Let’s skip the music, okay?

I can’t take it anymore!

7. I think there’s going to be a mutiny.

Santa…you better step in here.

8. Wings are that important.

They bring families together, okay?

9. You really blew it this time.

Back to the island you go.

10. You sure were in the dark, huh?

We’re glad you finally saw the light…

11. It keeps on adding up.

It ain’t cheap!

12. We’re gonna need to see some proof of this.

Also, I’d like to know how people respond to all this screaming…

Okay, friends, now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please share some funny stuff you’ve seen lately that really made you chuckle: memes, tweets, jokes, etc!

Please and thank you!

The post Ready to Laugh? These Tweets Are Gonna Help You Get ‘ER Done! appeared first on UberFacts.