Category: Twitter

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Hiliarious Text Conversations That Just Hit Different

My favorite thing about text conversations is that they just never go away if we don’t want them to.

We can immortalize them, not just through the various built-in options our phones have for archiving, but through screenshots, the quickest way not just to save a moment of conversation but to spread it far and wide across the internet.

Which is what these wonderful souls did when they found themselves within a chat that just did not go like they were expecting. Thanks, Twitter.

15. Fun in the sun

Thanks for clarifying the reason behind funerals, though.

14. Your what?

I like how he’s just being totally straightforward. Like he knows he’s screwed now.

13. Smoke ’em up

Who exactly does your brother live with?

12. The devil within

I really don’t understand you young people and your sensual talk.

11. Coming out

Context really is key.

10. I’ll try

Our bodies don’t stay 20 forever.

9. Wait who?

What kind of games are you playin’ here?

8. A strong personality

This might be the lowest effort I’ve ever seen.

7. The vaccine?

Yeah, sure, that’s what I’m asking.

6. Push notification

These things are getting out of control.

5. Like a virgin

Being stuck for the very first time.

4. The big lie

The one we all tell each other in circles every day.

3. Leave me alone

Where there’s smoke…

2. Giving thanks

I just think they’re neat.

1. It’s in the stars

Bruh you have no idea how exhausting this is about to get.

Man. That is some straight talk right there.

What’s the best conversation you’ve had recently?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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Things That Every Midwesterner Knows to Be True

If you’re from the midwest like me, then there are certain things you just know in your heart.

One thing you definitely DON’T know, though, is where exactly the midwest even is. I mean, where you’re from is part of it, for sure, but the term is kind of slippery.

It’s not like “West Coast,” where there’s a clear criteria test. Does your state touch the Pacific Ocean? Yes? Then it’s part of the West Coast. But “mid” west?

It’s a point of contention according to everyone with whom I’ve ever broached the subject. For the record, the federal government apparently considers the following states to be the “official” midwest: Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota, and Wisconsin.

It’s a big club. And we all know what’s up. This Twitter account certainly does.

10. The window clean

I could stand out here freezing my fingers off for another hour and be late to work or I could just get in my warm car and risk it all.

9. The wind

It’s really the only thing that matters.

8. The culture

In Missouri you need to replace that last picture with a QuikTrip.

7. The time

Would ya just look at it?

6. The snacks

The last one is called “puppy chow.”
I don’t know why, I wish it weren’t true, but that’s how it goes.

5. The cows

If you drive by cows and don’t say the word “cows” then I’m going to have to assume you’re physically incapable of speech.

4. The summer 60

It really is the perfect temperature.

3. The scream

And in that moment you question everything that has brought you here.

2. The wiper trick

It helps a little?

1. The “salads”

Somehow they have more calories than the burger.

Ope, looks like it’s about that time!

What’s the most midwestern thing you’ve ever done?

Tell us in the comments.

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Learn About Tricks Employees Use in Dealing with Customers

I once worked at a country club with some wealthy members.

The official unofficial policy of the club was “you never tell a member no.” Which meant that whatever a member might request, you just told them you were on it and got to work.

Problem was, a lot of the time I either had no idea how to fulfill their particular request or knew for a fact that it couldn’t happen. But since I wasn’t allowed to just tell them that, my main strategy involved hurrying off to “take care of it” and then just kind of wandering around until I could find someone else to pass it off to.

It wasn’t good. That job wasn’t good.

But I’m not alone in finding these work-arounds.

The OP here wasn’t alone either. Because the tweet replies came flooding in.

10. Check in the back

The back is not some magical place, I don’t know what customers think goes on there.

9. It didn’t meet our standards

And we’re ALL about standards.

8. I AM the supervisor

I can be anything I set my mind to.

7. I’m still learning English

That’s a clever one.

6. Sorry, can’t help ya

Shouldn’t they have been trained?

5. I’ve just started

Sometimes, it’s official policy.

4. Keep the training sticker

Don’t ask me, find someone else.

3. The new girl

Not just a show.

2. It’s my birthday

It’s perfect until you start to get regulars.

1. Blessings be upon you

Now that’s a grift.

Maybe use some of those tips in your own life? Couldn’t hurt.

What white lies have you told at work?

Tell us in the comments.

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It’s About Time to Normalize Therapy for Men

These days we could probably all use some therapy.

Life is hard, and it seems like people who do have a therapist tend to find the experience very helpful.

Getting started can be difficult though: making that first phone call, finding the right person that you connect with.

It can be daunting.

And in general, men are a lot less likely to seek out therapy as a coping mechanism than women are.

That doesn’t mean they need it any less.

Image credit: Guillaume de Germain via Unsplash

In fact, the stigma surrounding men and therapy has become something of a joke on social media, with users posting all the things men will “literally” do instead of therapy:

It’s a funny sort of commentary on current events:

But all jokes aside, it can be a real problem.

As LifeHacker explains:

The idea that men must be strong in the face of mental distress is deeply entrenched, leading to higher rates of substance abuse, homicide, suicide, and a lower life expectancy than women in the United States and beyond.

Instead, men are often left drifting, finding their own ways to cope.

People have all kinds of reasons for seeking or not seeking professional help.

A person with anxiety, for example, may be too anxious to reach out.

Reluctance to seek mental health assistance can affect anyone, of any age or gender.

So why the emphasis on the gender gap? Because some of them are culturally ingrained.

A lot of men’s reservations about therapy today are rooted in archaic notions of masculinity. The outdated conventional wisdom hoists men up as paragons of emotional stability, who are expected to be wage-winners and protectors of the family. That notion endures, coloring the aversion that lots of men have to talking about their problems in present day.

The way I see it, men are conditioned to believe that not being self-reliant is a sign of weakness. Women, on the other hand, are taught that being self-reliant is a display of strength. It’s a subtle nuance, but an important one.

It means that for men, even the slightest hint that you might not be able to do it on your own, asking for help, is a sign of weakness. Whereas for women, advocating for yourself, asking for help when needed, is seen as contributing to your own self-reliance, and therefore to your strength.

So what’s the solution? London journalist Edward Clowes explained it perfectly to LifeHacker:

“The framing of therapy for men should never be about being broken and needing fixing.

Men should look at therapy the same way they look at any other act of self-improvement.

Like going to the gym but for your mental health, instead of your physical health.”

Well said!

Image credit: Brooke Cagle via Unsplash

And that’s just it. We all need training and conditioning to be stronger. We all need a little help sometimes. There’s no shame asking for it.

What do you think? Should we normalize therapy for all, including men?

Tell us in the comments.

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A Man Shared a Creepy Story of a Midnight Snack Gone Wrong

It may not be Halloween quite yet, but it’s always Halloween in our hearts, which means it’s always a good time to revisit this beyond creepy story from a man on Twitter about a childhood midnight snack gone very wrong.

It’s gonna send so many chills down ya that your bones’ bones are gonna be afraid of their own skeletons. What does that mean? I have no idea, I’m just trying to set this up without spoiling anything.

Let’s get to it. Grab a blanket.

Prologue: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Who doesn’t love a little revisited trauma?

Chapter 1: The Sneak

It all begins with a little innocent snacking.

Chapter 2: Mayo Sandwich

Some things are worth the effort.

Chapter 3: The Outline

Here’s where it gets freaky.

Chapter 4: Back Away Slowly

Holy s**t.

Chapter 5: Too Many Horror Comics

Note to self: if my kid ever tells me something like this, listen to them.

Chapter 6: The Hunt

I’d never be able to sleep.

Chapter 7: The Eyes

This just gets worse and worse.

Chapter 8: The Crawl

The truth comes out.

Chapter 9: Drawings

I’d never be ok.

Epilogue: A Little BO

Yikes on bikes.

Well, I’m gonna go take up several new hobbies since I won’t be sleeping ever again for the rest of my life.

What would you do in a situation like this?

Tell us in the comments.

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High School vs. College: Here Are the REAL Differences

I went to a “university model” private high school that had classes Monday, Wednesday, Friday with all other days dedicated to homework. And I mean ALL other days. Pretty much all the hours of all the other days. It was fairly brutal.

Then I went to an actual university. One time while taking a test, halfway through the instructions were to stand up, say “I am Spartacus!” and then sit down again.

We let out early that day.

Twitter knows what I’m talking about.

10. Extra credit

I really gotta hand it to ya for creativity.

9. No joking around

One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong.

8. Dr. B

In the house with the dad jokes of the century.

7. And I swear

Look, you’re paying to be here, if you choose not to learn anything that’s on you.

6. Park it

There’s never enough parking. Ever ever ever.

5. RIP fish

You need to take time to mourn these losses properly.

4. Straight up

Say no more, fam.

3. Do the slide

“Unless you require a different hook.”

2. The amazing TP!

I think in early 2020 this would have been considered a war crime.

1. At the end of the day

Look man, easy come, easy go, you know what it is.

For anyone who’s headed to college – just remember: it is a lot of fun and your professors will probably be pretty laid back. But that’s because it’s on YOU to do the work. Don’t waste the money slacking off, yo.

Who was your favorite teacher ever?

Tell us in the comments.

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People Discuss the Differences Between High School and College Teachers

When I was in high school, college was really built up as a place that was going to be super serious. Everything you do here is going to matter there, and it’s going to be TOUGH, so if you can’t hack it in here, you’re never gonna survive a university, and if you don’t survive a university, you’re never gonna be successful.

Turned out, all of that was wrong.

My high school was academically WAY more rigorous than my college, no one ever for the rest of my life cared about my GPA, and despite graduating with honors I managed not to be successful.

So take THAT, high school.

Twitter knows what I’m talking about.

10. Milkduds

They’ve been in my pocket for a while but I think they’re still good.

9. What a drag

In HS you’re just learning the basics of how it’s SUPPOSED to work, in college you learn the horrors of how it actually does.

8. Strict and scary

When you’re in college, you’re literally going into debt to be in that class.
If you wanna slack off, that’s on you, they don’t care.

7. No joke!

And snapping while driving, which is neat.

6. Put it up

Today we’re going to demonstrate the effects of…um…wind on…whatever, just look at this s**t.

5. The bell

Guess we’ll just wrap up early today.

4. Rawr!

We’re traveling back in time!

3. Trail Mix Attack

PS. if this might kill you, maybe take precautions.

2. Prof sick

I mean, I guess in a certain way they kind of ARE?

1. The Amazing Race

But why are they moving like that?

Class dismissed.

Who was the best or worst college professor you ever had?

Tell us in the comments.

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Times When Kids Really Did Say the Darndest Things

Kids say the funniest things…sometimes…

Like the time 5-year-old Bindi Irwin met her baby brother Robert, and decided that he should be called Brian “for short.”

Well back in January, feminist author @JessicaValenti tweeted about an incident that happened when her child was about that same age:

It was a great metaphor for life, and it spawned a whole thread of users telling funny things that their own children had said.

A lot of users focused on how children don’t pull punches, sometimes being brutal without even meaning to.

Picture book author Pat Zietlow Miller shared a time when her young daughter innocently cut her to the quick:

And another user shared her child’s response to her own midlife crisis hairdo.

Kids, man. Brutal, and brutally honest.

Sometimes they’re just trying to be helpful though, like when Heidi Hodges’ daughter overruled her little brother’s kindness.

And we all know what it’s like to be seen as the not-fun parent, but I love this user’s response.

I guess it would be way too mean to respond, “I know Dad’s the fun parent, just like your brother is the fun child.”

Yeah, you’re right. Parents have to be the parent, fun or otherwise.

Some of the one-liners parents shared were just hilarious, liked this one from Bonnie Jean:

Use the Force, Luke. Be the armadillo.

I love it.

And you know, it makes sense, because kids just really love animals.

So comparisons to animals are usually a compliment:

Until they try to turn you into one:

Kids, as we all know, also like to eat weird things.

(Let’s hope this isn’t why the 5-year-old wanted to turn her sister into a fish…)

And this kid… The shade.

But I mean, he has a point.

And just… wow.

Weird eating habits aside, sometimes even the best kids will misbehave.

As parents, you just have to teach them how to say they’re sorry.

Even if it makes you want to bust out laughing.

And when life gets them down:

Teach them to look on the bright side.

(This kid must have been friends with @welshlady17’s little girl.)

It’s so true what they say. Kids really do say the darndest things.

What’s something hilarious that a small child in your life has said? Tell us in the comments!

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“Tell Me You Grew Up Poor Without Telling Me You Grew Up Poor.” Here Are the Responses.

America is one of the wealthiest nations on the planet and indeed one of the richest countries in history.

And for a lot of people who’ve lived comfortable lives here, it’s easy to overlook the fact that that wealth is far from even. So many people grow up in a kind of poverty you might not even think feasible in a place like this. But it’s an ultra-common experience.

That’s a conversation that got kicked off by a thread started by actor Trevor Donovan who said:

So, how did the (mostly American) Twitter audience respond? Let’s look at some examples.

10. Kleenex as a luxury

Oh man, especially if you’re actually getting the name brand stuff.

9. The letter present

I mean, that’s going to mean far more to you as you grow older than some quickly forgotten toy would.

8. Out of the tube

For real though, get you one of those little plastic rollers. Does wonders.

7. Fee knowledge

Nobody’s more cost-aware than those who have nothing.

6. Old style food stamps

Wait, whose pictures are on those?

5. When summer came

That’s pretty ingenious, actually.

4. On the cheap

I kinda do too.

3. No such thing as Christmas

Santa has very mixed feelings about this.

2. Bigger than a bread bag

The poor man’s water lining.

1. The bunks

They look like some sweet, happy kids.

We may be rich as a whole, but never forget your neighbors in need.

What’s your ultimate poor experience?

Tell us in the comments.

The post “Tell Me You Grew Up Poor Without Telling Me You Grew Up Poor.” Here Are the Responses. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Incredibly Wholesome Tweets That Prove How Much We Love Our Dogs

My dog is my constant companion.

During the pandemic, she was one of my only companions, so it’s a good thing she loves me so much.

(So much. Like follows me to the bathroom, that’s how much she loves me.)

Seems like I’m not alone out there.

Dogs love people, and people have a lot of love for their pups.

Here are some of the most wholesome tweets that show just how much we love our furry friends.

1. A dog for your dog

And then a dog for your dog’s dog.
Where will it end? No one knows.

2. Norbie the Wonder Dog

Always be zoomin’.

3. Faerie Queen of the Fire Hydrant

Bow down before her fluffy butt and flower crown.

4. Don’t mess with Frank

Squirrel watcher extraordinaire. Mess with the window shade to see this dachshund’s shade.

5. Dogs are the very best judges of character

That’s why most Presidents keep one in the White House.

6. The Avengers know what’s up

They recognize a good boy when they see one.

7. No. Dogs. Allowed.

Psych!

8. Remember the first time you met a dog?

Mine wasn’t this cute. It chased me and I ran away.

9. Doggo = kitten’s best friend

That dog definitely didn’t help. (But he didn’t stop them, either.)

10. “Are you impressed with my posture, friend?”

Why yes. Yes, I am.

11. Dogz make the best babysitters

Good boy.

12. Doggo album of the year right here

Look at those faces!

13. Their doctor bills cost more than ours do

But who cares? They’re worth it.

Dogs are truly the best. I need to go give mine some skritches.

Do you have a dog best friend? Share a picture in the comments!

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