15 Young People Share the Life-Altering Advice They Got from an Elder

One of my favorite things to do is try to strike up some conversation with the elderly. It’s the folly of youth to think you know everything, and you better believe I am all ears whenever an elder wants to share some valuable life advice with me.

As these stories from Reddit prove, we have a LOT to learn from old people, so treat them with respect!

1. You can’t ignore it

“Once you become aware of a wrong doing or injustice – the responsibility to correct that in yourself can not be ignored.

Basically if you know better – you’re required to do better.

Olowale was his name , he was a family friend originally from Nigeria. He was super smart and very humbled. He taught 14 year old me a lot about self responsibility and has no idea how much that one thing clicked for me and changed my life.”

2. Stop being a coward

“A street preacher who was homeless told me to stop being a coward and switch to the career I wanted.

He had earlier helped me when I was lost in bad part of the town I was living in. We talked for a while – him about his life, me about mine. He told me that he worked in finance for years before quitting because he was miserable, had forsaken his physical possessions, and decided to live on the street and spread the gospel. We had very similar educational backgrounds.

He didn’t want anything, except a promise that I wouldn’t waste his advice. I never saw him again.

If you believe in angels, it would be hard to find a better candidate than him for being one.

I followed his advice and am very happy I did.”

3. You might still get nothing

“My Nannie grew up in rural NC after the Great Depression to a poor family. She had hundreds of great stories about life growing up “on the Charles” or her grandparents’ farm, but one that sticks with me, and will color how I raise my daughter, was about Christmas. She and her siblings believed in Santa, but they rarely got more than fruit or maybe new clothes as presents.

She would return to school and see a little girl in her class that was a notorious bully and particularly cruel to Nannie with fancy new dolls, new clothes, things money could get you and she felt awful because she believed she was doing her best to be a good student, to be a caretaker for her younger siblings, to follow her religious beliefs. Traditional Santa mythos tells you good gets rewarded but that’s devastating for kids who work hard at following the rules, being kind, etc. and still get nothing.”

4. Don’t put work before family

“I was at a close friends wedding and most of his family was fairly well off. Many of them were feeling nostalgic because they were surrounded by family and everyone has grown up. Many said they regretted how many hours they worked when their kids were young in order to be a better provider. Up until recently I was making great money and working 60+ hours a week.

When I noticed what I was giving up I did some networking and took a job as a contractor in a small consulting company. I work 40 hours a week now and leave my laptop at the office and don’t have work email on my phone. I now feel like more of a provider because I’m a lot more active in my family’s lives and it’s awesome.”

5. One at a time

“Don’t do more than one illegal thing at a time. That’s what gets you caught.” Security guard at my high school. It’s good advice.”

6. Them’s the rules

“One of my high school teachers who just passed away a couple years ago gave me advice that I still live by to this day. He called it the “Four rules to breaking rules.”

Don’t break the rules
If you break the rules, don’t get caught.
If you get caught, take responsibility for your actions and make yourself better.
If you can’t do number 3, refer to rule number 1.”

7. Tell the truth

“Tell the truth all the time so you if you have to lie they will believe you.”

8. Wise words

“Met a woman in a nursing home while on clinicals who the nurses called a nightmare. Actually talked to her and she was not only incredibly kind, but also wise.

Not an anecdote, but she said something she lived by was a poem she had memorized in grade school. “Suppose”, by Phoebe Cary. Just a snippet, but I recommend reading the whole thing:

And suppose the world don’t please you, Nor the way some people do, Do you think the whole creation Will be altered just for you? And is n’t it, my boy or girl, The wisest, bravest plan, Whatever comes, or does n’t come, To do the best you can?
She allowed me to record her reciting the poem. I’ll remember her fondly, and I hope the nurses treated her well after we left.”

9. Sticks with them

“Met an elderly hispanic lady at a bus stop in Albuquerque. We went back and forth in Spanish for a bit (I’m a white guy so she was pleasantly surprised) and she told me about her travel plans to go to her son’s wedding–a real cute story involving him and his high school sweetheart finding each other after a long time being broken up.

I had recently been dumped, and said something a bit mopey like “I wish I could find love like that someday.”

She smiled, shook her head and said “Chico, love like that isn’t just found. It’s built. How many perfect, decorated temples do you think my ancestors stumbled across in Tikal or Tenochtitlan? No. They found a good, level spot, maybe some water nearby, and said ‘Here. We can build something here.’ Look for a clearing in the forest, young man. Not a hidden city.”

That one will stick with me for years.”

10. Get through it

“Sometimes you’re not meant to go over, or under, or around it. Sometimes, you’re meant to go through it. You just have to get through it.

Elderly client in a lucid state, describing his battle with dementia.”

11. Right now

“My old friend (he was 99) HATED when people said, “if only it was like the good ol days.” He would always say something along the lines of “the good old days??? Picking cotton every day for $2 a week wasn’t ‘the good ol days’ right now are the good days!” “

12. Do it smart

“If you’re going to do something stupid, do it smart.” We were playing with… “Fireworks” at the time

That was a lesson that I’ve taken to every job I’ve worked at since. Every time I go to do a job I look it over and see the stupid things I am about to do (Dangerous parts of my job) and try to figure out how to do it smart (Figure out how to minimize the danger in my work.)”

13. Just do it

“The path looks tougher and longer before you start walking.” My grandad used to say something similar to that , can’t translate it perfectly. He passed away a couple of years back. When I think of him, I always remember these words.”

14. Always present

“For my college religion class, we visited a Jewish Synagogue and observed their service. They have a ritual where they pray for loved ones who have died, and an old woman (80-90) participated with tears in her eyes. The Rabbi explained to us that she was a Holocaust survivor, and only she was able to escape as a girl. She didn’t know if anyone in her family was dead or alive, but since they’re presumed dead, she still prays for them every service.

That really hit me, because people my age tend to think of the Holocaust as more of a historical event that happened a long time ago. But for these people, it’s ever present in their lives. They also had a Torah that was badly burned that had been recovered from the Holocaust, I think as a reminder of those that were lost.”

15. Patience

“Take your time (with answering questions), whoever is listening can wait.”

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10+ Secrets About Men That Women Probably Don’t Know

I’m always amazed when my female friends complain to me about how difficult men are to understand. Maybe it’s just because I just live it every day, but I’ve never had a hard time understanding another guy. It wasn’t until I got married that I finally gained perspective on just how different a day in the life of a man is compared to a woman.

It turns out there’s a whole lot about being a guy that women have no idea about – but not anymore, courtesy of these gentlemen of Reddit:

1. Men like our hair however we wear it. There is no need to ask a million times.

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/banjohusky95

2. Keep the compliments coming, ladies!

Photo Credit: Rear Front

3. My heart just burst. Cuddle your man!

Photo Credit: Rear Front

4. Is there any other way?

5. Direct communication.

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/DepressedBard

6. They truly have a mind of their own.

Photo Credit: Rear Front

7. There’s no need to feel like men are hiding something.

8. So sweet!

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/Krzysiuu

9. Man, that sucks!

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/gregn8r1

10. Men are fixers so give a heads up!

11. Patience is key.

Photo Credit: Rear Front

12. We all show our emotions differently.

Photo Credit: Reddit, u/ShakaWTWF

There you have it, ladies. Keep it simple, communicate directly, and be concerned for their junk. Easy peasy!

 

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Trans Woman Finds Love with Man Who Turned Her Down When She Was Living as a Boy

Erin Anderson and Jared Norris are a strange case of love at first sight — it kind of took a few years to all work itself out.

That’s because Erin, a 22-year-old trans woman, initially approached her Facebook crush, Jared, while she was still living as a boy.

Photo Credit: Facebook, Erin Anderson

“While still living (as a) a boy, I messaged Jared on Facebook saying, ‘Hey, what’s up,’” Erin recalls, according to Lad Bible. “I knew of him and added him on Facebook because he was cute. But he was having no part of it and didn’t seem interested at all, so I decided not to try anymore with him.”

However, that wasn’t the end of the story for these two. Their paths crossed again once Erin had undergone two years of hormone replacement therapy and breast augmentation.

“It was two years later when he liked one of my pictures on Instagram,” she says. “By that time I had come out as trans and a woman. I decided I was going to be upfront, so I sent him a message with my number and within five minutes, I got a message from him and we started talking. The next day was my birthday, I hung out with him and a week later we were dating officially on Facebook and have been together ever since.”

Jared’s willingness to be honest and open about Erin’s identity with his family and friends is one of the reasons that their relationship is so successful.

“Prior to dating Jared, I had been seeing people but nothing serious came about because they were afraid to tell their family or friends,” Erin says.”They would tell me they really liked me but couldn’t risk their family knowing I was trans and that was what hurt the most. But Jared didn’t fear that, he told his family that I was trans and everything, he doesn’t care what other people think.”

The two have been very open about their relationship on social media, and have even made a video openly discussing why dating trans people shouldn’t be stigmatized. According to Jared, the videos and social media posts have prompted a slew of negative and regressive responses.

“It wasn’t really well known that I was dating a trans woman at first, but when everyone found out, it was a big shocker,” Jared says. “I received a lot of death threats online with one guy saying ‘I will beat you up f*** ‘ which kind of sucked and was depressing. It’s always the same rigmarole things like ‘I hate you,’ ‘You’re disgusting,’ ‘You’re dating a dude’ and other comments.”

Photo Credit: Facebook, Erin Anderson

However, the couple also says that they’ve received many loving and encouraging messages from people who were inspired by what they had to say.

“After getting all these death threats we talked about it and decided to ignore everybody, whether they are sending love or hate,” Jared adds. “Thankfully I had some messages encouraging us and telling us to ignore the haters.

“It reminds us that people like that are not worth our time.”

This article was first published by our partners at Woke Sloth

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Life Lessons That These 15 People Definitely Learned the Hard Way

There are some things you can grasp fully by being told, and others that don’t really hit home until you experience them for yourself. And sometimes, those lessons can really hurt.

But that’s how you learn, right? At least that’s how these folks did.

#15. Selfish idiots.

“Your friends don’t always make the best roommates. Sometimes the added costs of living alone are still cheaper than living with selfish idiots.”

#14. Don’t get cocky.

“Don’t get cocky if you win at life, because if you get too comfortable, it can get taken away in a matter of seconds

(Lost 3 people in my family in the same week, grades dropped immensly, dropped out of school, lost a good chunk of the friends I made that year).”

#13. Your whole life.

“If you don’t stick up for yourself you’ll get walked on your whole life…”

#12. The only minority group.

“Being disabled is the only minority group you can join at any time in your life.”

11. On effort and intelligence.

“There comes a point where effort passes intelligence. For some the point is early on in life. Others it may take a while for it to hit them.

Those gifted teenagers that don’t have to try very hard get used to not trying very hard. While others make a habit of studying and getting through. You will find that the less advanced kids outperform the more advanced ones due to lack of effort and apathy.”

#10. Nothing at all you can do.

“Even if a relationship feels 100% perfect and right to you, it may not feel that way to your partner. Along the same lines, some relationships fail not because you did something wrong, but simply because she/he wanted something else. In those cases there’s nothing at all you can do but let them go.”

#9. Wash properly.

“To wash my hands properly after cutting up chillies.”

#8. Just like the cartoons.

“When you step on the head of a rake that is facing up, it’s just like in the cartoons.”

#7. Toxic.

“There are some people out there who are toxic, and its’ OK to cut them out of your life.”

#6. It adds up.

“Don’t spend money on useless bullshit. It adds up.”

#5. No matter how hard.

“No matter how hard you work toward something, it still might not happen.”

#4. They are red for a reason.

“Do not ignore Red Flags in a person you are dating. They are there, and they are red for a reason.”

#3. Money is nice, but…

“Don’t take a job that you hate just because it pays well. Money is nice but hating your life is not worth any amount.”

#2. A car without gas.

“What a car without gas sounds like. It doesn’t always do nothing at all. Sometimes it almost starts, sputters and then dies. Got it towed before giving it gas and giving that a try.”

#1. Don’t be lazy.

“Don’t be lazy with birth control

edit: I should clarify that it wasn’t because i was lazy with taking birth control, it’s that i came from an ultra conservative background and birth control was nearly impossible to access it since I wasn’t allowed to drive and having friends i could trust to keep it a secret if I asked them for a ride to the sex health clinic 30 mins away. I also had no job, so It was even hard to purchase it.”

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The Exact Scariest Moment of These 15 People’s Lives

Some of these people have had some seriously terrifying, rough days. And to you, my friends, I offer a trigger warning – beware going forward if you’ve experienced any serious trauma (like suicide or other violent death) in your own life.

#15. It’s a void.

“An accident in which I lost 2 full weeks of memory. I have seen pictures where I’m in a wheelchair being pushed around the hospital by my parents and brother, I have my eyes open, I’m laughing, but I remember literally zero of it. Nothing. It’s a void.”

#14. They still scare me.

“I was at an airport and a woman’s leg got stuck in the escalator. I remember a lot of blood and her screaming and watching her pray to god as the paramedics wheeled her away.

Escalators still scare me.

Edit: I also just remembered another detail, people were pressing the stop button and it didn’t stop.”

#13. Glad to this day.

“As a child, around 12, I was walking back to school, from a tennis lesson. The route was around a km and some.

I just started on my way back, and this car soon comes by and pulls over. A senior, possibly in his late 60s is the only occupant.

He asks where I’m going, and if I need a lift. I politely decline, then he started asking other questions. Being oblivious, I answer him, discussing my father’s work, what my mother did with her time, and how many siblings I had. Didn’t think anything of it for so many years, till around 2 years ago, the memory popped up in my head.

Only then did the gravity of what was happening at the time come home. He was trying to familiarize himself with me, and in some way grooming me to see him as a friend.

I’m still glad to this day that I never got into that car.”

#12. It haunts and horrifies me.

“Watching my 7 y.o niece have her arm mauled by an 80 lb dog. Desperately smashing its head with a broken shovel to get it to release her. Having to use my hand to hold her upper arm to stop the loss of blood looking ar yee mutilated flesh. It haunts and horrifies me. Everytime I hear a child yell or scream I have a moment panic that goes to.my core. Every time I look at her arm I feel deeply saddened and sickened.”

#11. As dumb as I was.

“When I was 10 or 11, I was at the mall with my mom. We were in Venture, near the entrance to the mall. Some guy in his early 20s or late teens was standing there at the entrance, my mom a few aisles over. He started talking to me, asking if I wanted to go to the arcade with him. He claimed to know my brother, that he went to school with him. Me, being young and stupid, pipes up with “oh, you know _______ (my brothers name)”. He’s like yeah I know _______!

As dumb as I was, I was thankfully at least smart enough to go and ask my mom if it was okay. She freaked and went over to where he was, and of course he was gone.”

#10. Always wear a helmet.

“About two years back, I saw a live road accident involving a bike and a truck. The biker’s head was squished like a water melon. This was too disturbing to see. A human body in a shape like that. I will never forget that sight.

ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET GUYS!”

#9. The sound.

“A man jumped/fell from a building in New York and landed about three metres behind me. The sound when he hit, and the way he hit half on the sidewalk, half on the road, and his body had moulded to the kerb and just..spread out.

This happened in 1998 and I can still remember every detail..”

#8. Every time I think about it.

“Directly behind my house is a huge recreation area with miles and miles of hiking trails. People have gone missing there in recent years and they’ve found bodies there too. One day about two years ago I fell asleep on the couch accidentally and at like two AM, my dogs went absolutely crazy barking at the front door and they wouldn’t shut up so I got up to see what it was. There was a man standing in my doorway with the screen door already opened in his hand- like I caught him the second between opening my screen door and opening the door to my house, which I had accidentally left unlocked because like I said, I accidentally fell asleep. I was totally out of it and still half asleep so the situation didn’t really dawn on me and the first thing out of my mouth was “Oh, hey. What do you need?” Then I woke up and realized what the hell was going on and slammed my door shut in his face and locked it and called 911. The dude left and the police never found anyone. I obviously don’t know why that man was on my doorstep but the fact that he could have taken me into that park very easily and no one would have known until it was too late shakes me up every time I think about it.”

#7. So dang creepy.

“I was going through a hard time and needed money. I saw an ad in a local paper that said “buying musical instruments. Any condition. Call ####.” So, I called to sell my guitar. I talked to a man on the phone, and he seemed nice enough. He asked about the condition and what model it was and what not. He said he wanted to buy it and agreed to meet me at a guitar center near by.

So, I meet this guy in the parking lot and I show him my guitar. He asks, “why are you trying to sell your guitar?” I tell him that I am going through a hard time. He then says, “well, you could stay with me if you want.” I say, “um, no sir. Are you still going to buy my guitar?” He ignores me and says, “How about you jack me off and I’ll give you $50.” I calmly reply, “No. Are you going to buy this or not?” So he asks, “How about you watch me jack off in my car and I’ll give you $50.” To which I replied, “No! What the FUCK?!” I grabbed my guitar, went into the store and waited inside until he left.

He stayed in that parking lot for a bit too. So dang creepy. I called that paper and got his ad removed.”

#6. Life is a funny thing.

“When I was 22, just graduated college, I began my job search. Within the first 3 weeks out of college, I was lucky to find a job relatively close to where my family lived. I still lived at home to help pay off my loans, and as a recent grad, I was more concerned with getting a job than getting my own place.

My older brother and I are both very close, basically best friends. We decided to celebrate with a long night of gaming 3 nights before my “big boy job” started. He doesn’t live at home with us, so it was going to be some good ol’ online gaming.

I was planning on playing his voice audio over the speakers in my room, but it wasn’t working. My younger brother (16 at the time) was in the room with me and wanted to hear my older brothers voice. For whatever reason, we couldn’t get it to work because he would hear himself through my microphone. So instead, we were going to use a headphone method instead, both wearing headsets. We were seconds from putting those headsets on when we heard a faint scream. It was a strange sound, and we were unsure what was going on.

When we ran down the stairs (we were on the second floor of the house) we searched frantically for what that noise was. My parents were on the front porch with friends, so we knew it wasn’t them. The only other person who was home was my younger sister (~20 years old) who at the time was going through A LOT of dark times.

We both ran down into the basement, turned the corner, and saw my sister hanging 2 feet above the ground with an electrical extension cord around her neck. Chair was knocked over, and she was frantically clawing at her neck. Her face was swollen purple, it was a horrific thing to see. My brother FROZE, and I ran up and grabbed her, lifted her up on my tippy toes to give some slack to the cord, and yelled for him to get my parents. I had to yell a few times for him to finally go and get my mom and dad. She ended up surviving. When emergency personnel came to assess the situation, and take her to the hospital to check for brain damage and injuries, the first officer on the scene pulled me aside, shook my hand, and said she could have been dead in seconds. He said he was happy to finally come to one of these scenes where the person survived.

The story goes on from there. Had we not had audio issues in my room, I wonder how this situation would have been different. I mean it, we were seconds from putting on the headsets.

Life is a funny thing.”

#5. When I was thirteen…

“When I was thirteen I found my best friend hanging from a belt in my closet. I thought it was a joke at first until I pushed him and he started swinging. He had just knelt down and let it happen. I got him down and pulled the belt loose and there was a nasty mark and I think that was when I realised how serious it was. Ran and told parents to call 911. Ran back upstairs and could hear some gurgling noises coming from him. He was in a coma for a week but he lived thank God. To top it off a lot of people including his parents blamed me.”

#4. A BLACK MAMBA.

“Not as morbid as some of the others in this thread but probably getting stuck in the shower ( technically a wet room) with a black mamba while on holiday aged 8. That was pretty terrifying.”

#3. Four years later.

“When I was crossing a road and a car came screaming around the corner didn’t see me and hit me. This happened right outside my sons school. He saw the accident but didn’t know it was me ( I was in all black gym clothes ). Concision, head trauma, obliterated my left shoulder ACL and tore my ACL in my left knee. Huge bruise from hip to lower calf.

Hospital said they only thing that saved me was I didn’t see it coming so was not expecting it and was basically a rag doll. Turns out the driver was not insured, suspended license and the car wasn’t his.

I still shit myself 4 years later when crossing the road.”

#2. The last time.

“Finding my six week old baby deceased. Trying to do cpr on his obviously lifeless little body while on the phone with 911 while I listened to my husband and kids screaming in agony. Holding him against me trying to warm him and knowing this was the last time I would ever have him in my arms.”

#1. Never knowing.

“I was a freshman in college when I received a series of mysterious/threatening phone calls. At the time, I was pledging my fraternity and assumed that some of the brothers were pranking me. The calls always came from a restricted number. The calls were innocuous enough at first – asking me how I was enjoying the pledging experience, etc. Over time, they got more and more threatening, telling me that I was going to be murdered/threatening to hurt me. The actual weirdest part, though, was that the mysterious caller started calling random people in my life and telling them that I was in love with them (there was no pattern to who these people were and I was certainly not in love with these people). A lot of these people were men (I am queer but was deeply in the closet at the time and definitely no brothers knew that). I only found out because these people, many of whom I hadn’t spoken to in awhile, independently called me asking me why they were receiving these weird calls/voicemails.

Eventually, I confronted the fraternity’s president telling him to let the brothers know to knock it off. He was genuinely confused and assured me that no one was pranking me. Eventually, the calls stopped, but to this day, I wonder how the caller (A) knew so much about my personal life and (B) why he would invest so much time and energy into something so pointless. I genuinely hope I figure out who it is one day but have resigned myself to never knowing.”

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