It never ceases to amaze me how many adults – all of whom I presume graduated kindergarten – still don’t know how to act right. Seriously, it’s not that hard to have basic decency in public, and yet there are SO MANY people who apparently struggle with it.

In this AskReddit article, people share the worst things they’ve seen while conducting outings for tourists.

Yeesh!

1. The tour is over!

“I used to work at a heritage site. It was an old military installation with a lot of remaining original structures (bunk beds, cafeteria equipment, computers etc.).

Everyday it was a constant effort to remind people (read: kids) NOT to jump on the beds, not to slam doors open, not to punch every button like it owes them money.

The absolute worst was a group of kids on a school trip. Within the first ten minutes we’re walking through the tech portion of the exhibit, where we had a wall lined with Burroughs large systems machines (B5000’s), all behind this little fence about waist-high. I turn to demonstrate some of the pieces, and when I look back at the group one of them had jumped over the barrier, opened one of the units and started pulling out handfuls of digital tape from the reels inside.

I just about jumped on the kid when their teacher did just that. She jumped the barrier, smacked the kid’s hands and took him outside. I immediately ended the tour and had them all refunded, as I couldn’t imagine what else could happen.”

2. Segway disaster

“Somewhat relevant, there’s a small hill on a pedestrian footpath outside my university. Once, I witnessed a segway tour attempt to use this path. The first segway slowed to a stop as it reached the top of this hill. The second segway sped up in an attempt to make it over, and crashed into the first segway. One by one, each segway crashed into the one in front of it, toppling over each other. The pathway now has a “no bikes or segways” sign.”

3. What an a**hole

“I was working on a tourist island in Australia when this man pulled out almost all the back feathers of a peacock because he wanted to keep one. He sneaked up behind it, and grabbed a huge handful and yanked them all out. He was immediately escorted off the island. The peacock had a huge bare patch and most of its beautiful feathers were gone “

4. That’s nice

“Friend of mine does tours of whiskey museums in Dublin. Someone took a shit in one of the exhibition rooms.”

5. Don’t mess with Ted

“I worked at a living history farm museum. I had a kid that was climbing on stuff the whole tour in the farm house and trying to get behind the Smith in the blacksmith shop during a demo.

After the tour when people are allowed to roam the grounds, I hear his mom screaming and look over to the barn and this kid has climbed the fence into the field with our long horn oxen and is trying to poke them with a stick. I walk over and calmly told him to get out of the field before our lazy oxen decide they’ve had enough, but this jack off decides to look me in the eye and smack Ted on the ass with the stick like it’s a riding crop.

Ted, bless him, just kinda jumps a little and whips his head around with a WTF dude look on his face. But seeing as he’s a long horn, he just wipes this kid out with one of his horns when he turned his head. Kid goes flying into the dirt and is having a meltdown. Mom is freaking out. I’m like, dude, get the hell out of the pen before Ted actually gets mad.

So this kid is crying and trying to climb the fence out of the field and Bill, who has been watching this whole thing waits until the kid is almost over the fence and walks up to him and nudges him in the ass with his nose and pushes him off the top of the fence. It was everything I could do to keep from laughing.

Kid was fine, Ted was fine, but the kid and his mom were promptly kicked out of the museum. Their dad and little sister were allowed to stay because she was well behaved and was just enjoying petting the goats at the petting zoo. So since the kid had to leave but his sister didn’t there was a temper tantrum in the parking lot that could be heard all the way to the other side of the farm. But the oxen got some extra grain that night, so I guess they won in the end.”

6. Okay, this one takes the cake

“Led a scuba diving tour. While signing the safety waivers and all that one very old man kept telling us that he had a DNR (do not resuscitate). We plainly told him that we are not bound to a DNR and if he passed out for any reason we would attempt to resuscitate by our safety training.

Pretty much all the divers are assuming this guy is gonna kill himself down there (prob spit out the reg and go quietly into the night).

Dive happens, pretty much everyone is hawkeyed on this guy. I see him go behind a large coral head and lay down in the sand and spit out his reg. He is only at about 60 ft so I grab him and wrestle him to the surface. He will not take my back up regulator so I slam it against his mouth a purge air Into his face.

We get to the surface and he is fighting me non stop trying to pull all of his gear off. I throw a very hard punch to his jaw and knock him out ( actually trained to do this during dive rescues to keep the panicked person from killing you too).

3 weeks later and he tries to sue my dive shop and myself personally.”

7. Karma is real

“Was on a tour in New Orleans. Guy gets drunk and basically makes a fool of himself and slaps his partner. Everyone else on the tour is like ‘whoa not cool, take a hike’. Gf leaves with him. Next morning we’re all on the bus waiting to roll out to the next destination and we’re not moving.

30 minutes later we’re all getting pissed off, then the couple get on the bus looking sheepish. By the next stop we learn, the drunk guy ran a bath at the hotel, passed out and it flooded the bathroom, and four floors below into the hotel lobby. The hotel wouldn’t let them leave without paying thousands of dollars. Karma for him.”

8. And here we have…

“They took a big shit in front of the group. So, we tour through streets and parks and make it really clear that the toilets at the beginning of the tour are the only ones for the first 90 minutes of tour. We get to a park about 30 mins into the tour. Not a big park mind you, it is basically a big roundabout with a swing set, bench and two trees.

I’m in the middle of my spiel in the park when I see a guy at the back of the group, step away, pull his pants down and squat on the grass. Of course I was stunned and lost my flow which had everyone looking around only to recoil in horror as this guy drops a log like it was nothing. He wasn’t even ashamed.”

9. An extreme act of stupidity

“About 15 years ago, I worked as a deckhand on a line of boats that took people out to Fort Sumter. The trip was about an hour each way. One day, we were about halfway there and two teenagers decided it would be fun to jump off and try to swim to shore.

This is in Charleston harbor, which has a pretty solid tidal current, lots of boat traffic, and probably more sharks than one would like to think about.

We ended up having to perform a water rescue on them. Then continued on to the fort, with the Coast Guard coming and picking them up. All in all, an extreme act of stupidity.”

10. Got what you deserved

“Used to be a tourguide at a primate sanctuary with a strict ‘no touching policy’. At the end of the tour there’s a suspension bridge, tourists go first, guide goes last as per the rules.

I always warn the tourists that the other side is the territory of a Hanuman langur and he doesn’t fuck around, keep your distance etc. He doesn’t attack people out of nowhere, but he likes showing his teeth and screaming, which scares tourists.

Anyway, one tour I get to the other side of the bridge, and a tourist got bitten. He says a monkey just bit him out of nowhere. Asked the other tourists, no he tried to fucking pet the Hanuman. Dumbass got what he deserved.”

11. Might’ve been a goner

“On an open topped tour bus in London – woman tries to dangle her toddler over the railing, then starts saying she’s going to complain to my manager when I told her to stop. Caught her doing it again and company policy said that anyone endangering their kids like that was to be removed from the tour, so the driver had to come up and march her off.

She still insisted she did nothing wrong. Like, she literally had the kid’s feet on the side rail of the (moving) bus and was just holding him loosely round the waist. One low hanging tree branch, of which there were many on the route, and that kid was gone.”

12. People are dumb

“Worked at an aquarium, this dude arrived in the amazon exhibit room featuring the tank where every fish in it can hurt you and promptly started dangling his sister’s kid over the exhibit. I immediately stepped up to him and pushed the kid back from over it, firmly explaining that this wasn’t allowed and that I’d have to call security.

Thank god, the kid’s mother was on my side and started tearing into the man. It took her five minutes of “No, that was absolutely not appropriate,” for him to get the message that he’d seriously f*cked up.

Some people never do get the whole ‘pointy venomous fish bad, no dangling kids’ thing.”

13. Not funny

“Not a tour guide, but was doing an English language camp for foreign kids.

Took the kids on a day trip to London, which involved going up the London Eye. While in the queue, one of the kids started shouting that he had a bomb in his bag and he was going to blow everyone up. Almost got all 20 kids in the group kicked out.”

14. You’re outta here!

“I work at a brewery tap room and take people on brewery tours. During fermentation CO2 is produced and excess comes out through a run off pipe and into a water bucket. One of the attendees (who was being a pain and trying to be funny but nobody was laughing) asked me what the pipe was for, so I gladly explained.

He then asked what would happen if he breathed it in… in disbelief of his stupidity I told him he would pass out/damage his brain, he then proceeded to grab the pipe and take a breath. He was then ejected and barred. Some people are just beyond belief.”

15. Never again

“Took a class of middle schoolers to a museum and one of my asshole students dragged his hand across a 3,000 year old Indian painting. Later on I found out the object was almost certainly a reproduction but I nearly died of rage on the spot.

The student was with us on a 45 day placement for severe behavioral issues. He earned enough point in school to qualify for the field trip. Never again.”

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