I get it that some people are just awkward. Or nervous. Or strange. Or uncomfortable in social situations.

But even if they do fall into any of those categories, it would be nice if they kept odd/bizarre/downright creepy stories to themselves.

These aren’t ice breakers, people!

Folks on AskReddit talked about situations where people shared WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

1. I get it…but…

“Cashier at St. Louis Bread Co. informing me she’s on her period and flowing very heavily.

I get it, I’m a fellow woman, but damn. Its a restaurant.”

2. We won’t be coming back.

“A while ago, my now-wife (then, my fiance) and I were preparing to get married here in Austin.

We spent several Sundays visiting some of the churches in the area that might serve as the ceremony venue to get a feel for them.

We visited one beautiful, fairly large, older church near downtown. At the appropriate time in the service, the minister/priest, an older gentleman – roughly late 60s-ish, started giving an odd sermon about tithing and how the parishioners had been letting the church down and in a way they were stealing from God by not giving enough. It was a bit of a strange one. And it didn’t seem well-constructed and thought out; much more on-the-fly than sermons I was used to.

Anyway, after about 10 minutes of this, he wrapped up and asked everyone to bow their heads for prayer then immediately walked off the stage and started walking down the aisle. My wife and I were about 2/3 of the way back and in an empty row – the service was not particularly well-attended. I’m thinking to myself, “Well, that was kind of a weird… What’s he doing? He’s heading toward us… Oh. God…”

While the congregation was still mid-group prayer, he walked to our row and then slid all the way in until he was right next to me. Everyone was watching him (and now us) as they “Our Fathered” (or whatever it was). We finished the prayer and then sat down for the offering and a song. He then leaned over and whispered, “Good morning.” We shook hands and he continued, “I wanted to let you know that I just had a mental breakdown up there a moment ago.”

“Oh… Hey… That’s alright! I… thought it was… great!” I stammered in reply.

“You’re kind, but no. I’m kind of falling apart. I saw you two come in and recognized you were new. I didn’t want you to take that sermon as typical of our congregation… I have to get going. It was a pleasure meeting you both,” and he got up and walked right out the back door.

We didn’t choose that church.”

3. An interesting choice.

“Me, sits down for my lunch break at work. Random coworker comes and sits down and says to me, “so I’ve been watching cartoon monster porn”.

4. Wasn’t ready for that one.

“Starbucks barista here. I was working the drive thru and some lady comes in asking for an iced coffee with heavy cream.

I pay it no mind as it’s not even close to my weirdest order. She gets to the window and starts trying to explain the motifs behind getting this drink. “By the way, I’m not getting this for the caffeine. I’m constipated.”

Whatever still hasn’t phased me, I’m used to weird shit like this. She continued, “I tried an enema two days ago and that bullshit didn’t work at all!”

That’s where I had to stop and go to the back to breathe, I was not ready for that.”

5. Mortified.

“My coworker went into great detail (including a hand drawn diagram) about how constipated she was after one of her c-sections.

She said she was so uncomfortable that she asked her husband to try to dig some of the poo out of her butt with his finger. So she put a towel down on the bed, laid on her side, and he got to work. After some successful digging she rolled over and noticed a butter knife on the bedside table and asked what it was doing there to which he responded “well, it was too hard for my fingers”.

We are nurses, she told this story at the desk to a group of at least 5 people. We were all mortified.”

6. Let’s have a talk.

“My coworker told me that he has had flare ups of gonorrhea over 30 times, he has herpes, and god knows what else.

He said he can’t remember how many times he’s had a q-tip swab in his penis hole. He doesn’t believe me that I’ve never had an STD and is constantly bringing it up.

I don’t know what compels this man to constantly talk about STDs but he must have a forest fire going on down there.”

7. Mom talk.

“Chatting with another mom at the park.

Now we can chat about some pretty weird things. Like, discussing your kids pooping habits would be a normal conversation. Even to some extent discussing how things are going the bedroom isn’t that weird.

But I’ve had some weird things other moms have confided to me. The one that stands out was a mom who confessed she was a closeted lesbian, in a loveless marriage who has a huge crush on her teenage son’s girlfriend.

It got even weirder too.”

8. Google my name.

“Years ago, I lived in Florida. My girlfriend (now wife) and I went to a Chili’s one night to get some drinks with her co-workers. After they left, we went back inside to the bar for one more drink because it was still early and we lived nearby. This older guy walks in and sits down a few stools away from us and immediately starts giving us some lighthearted shit about football, then notices my girlfriend typing something on her phone. Within 60 seconds of meeting us, he decided to drop this:

“Oh, you like looking things up on them phones huh? Google my name.”

We Google his name and the first result is a news article that names him as the victim of an attempted murder-suicide by his wife. She shot him in the head, then shot herself in the head right after. She died, he didn’t. Police came after a call of shots fired, they found him unconscious but alive, medflighted him to a hospital and he woke up later that day.

And that was his icebreaker story!”

9. This is sad.

“About 1-2 years ago, I worked in a clothing store. One day, an elderly lady came in to our store. I asked her if she wanted some help and she said yes. We found what she was looking for and she left afterwards. All good.

She came in again about a week later and looked around the store. After a while, she started talking to me. Now, I’m a pretty open person and a good listener, but I definetly felt like she crossed a line when she told me about the time she was pregnant and her ex-husband kicked her in the stomach and killed their baby. I felt sad for her, but we’d only chatted 1-2 times before, so for her to be telling me this made me feel very uncomfortable; especially since she talked to me like we were long-time friends.”

10. A turn for the worse.

“I met a professional acquaintance at a friend’s show one night. We knew each other vaguely, having met a couple of times, so we started having small talk. The guy obviously had gotten one too many beers, and felt it was a great time to tell me all about his “dumb moves” from his early adulthood, how his fiancée cheated on him with his best friend and how he became an alcoholic. Alright. Definitely awkward, but manageable so far.

It took a turn for the worse when he suddenly felt comfortable enough to describe, in details, how he and his friends had raped a teenage boy that was black out drunk. The acquaintance and his friends were drunk and thought it would be fun to do that while the boy was literally unconscious and unresponsive. I noped the fuck out of the conversation right after that and hope I’ll never run into him again.”

11. Possessed.

“My super religious ex-girlfriend from college told me that she had been possessed by a demon.

It was about a year after we started dating. She was one of the most honest people I’ve ever met, someone who just couldn’t lie. I knew from the moment she told me this that she genuinely believed she’d been possessed. I kind of shrugged it off and tried not to ever address it…. and then I met her family.

On the first day I met them, the subject came up and I just couldn’t avoid it no matter how hard I tried. It turned out that she’d “sinned” by giving up her virginity (before we met) and this allowed the demon to possess her. They even had a name for the demon, which I can’t remember, but it was supposedly the name she’d always wanted to give to her future first-born son. The family had their pastor – who I would later learn had no pastoral training, no seminary schooling, etc. – come to their house to perform an “exorcism.” Long story short, this presumably freed her of the demon.

I continued dating her for another year or so after this. Any time we became intimate, she would be all into it, and then afterwards she would be terrified that she had possibly opened the door to let the demon back in.

Here’s my theory about what really happened, although I never got any confirmation on it. Within minutes of meeting her family, it became clear that this was a “truth-telling” family. They were honest and open about everything to an uncomfortable degree. It was almost as if she was raised to believe that lying was the greatest sin of all, right up there with fornication. So when she lost her virginity, she was so ashamed that she would just stay quiet about the whole thing so that she wouldn’t have to sin twice by lying about it. When she was confronted about it, instead of admitting it she would stay silent about it.

The family went to their pastor and explained the situation. This charlatan convinced them that this was a case of possession, and only through confession could she be released of the demon. I think the whole “exorcism” thing was just an elaborate ploy by the pastor to get her to confess to losing her virginity, which she did, and they were all brainwashed into thinking this was a successful exorcism of demonic possession.

I’m no psychologist, so I could be way off-base here. It’s just my best guess based on everything I was able to piece together.”

12. Liar!

“I brought it on myself. On 21st this month I was at a family meet. I started talking to a younger cousin who has seemed off & aloof for sometime & in a shitty job for someone as smart & ‘educated’. After pressing for a time, he swore me to secrecy & told me that he did not get his degree in Dec 2017 coz he had been suspended by the university for a displinary issue. His parents have no idea.

We held 2 graduation parties for him with significance gifts. He had a gown & his parents were in the graduation square very happy for him. Nobody cared to confirm. He said he has resolved the issue with the Uni senate & will get his degree at end of year 2020. I suspect he could be on alcohol/drugs & keeping the secret for 2 years might have changed the course of his life. I have not told anyone.”

13. A bit off…

“Training a new hire at my old job. Guy was a bit off, but that was pretty much the standard for where we were working.

Giving him a tour of the facilities, describing his job duties…

He let’s me know that his dad “blew his brains out”.

By the end of my two years of working with him, I sympathized with his dad.”

14. WAY too much information.

“First conversation with the new co-worker.

Me: Hey, what do you like to do outside of work?

Him: I see a psychiatrist once a week because I’m dealing with severe depression. When I was 13 my grandpa shot himself in the head in front of me and it fucked me up.

Me: …

Me: I play video games.”