When you’re pregnant for the first time, you might dream of giving that baby a warm bath, nursing him or her as they get sleepy, and snuggling that warm precious soul into oblivion.
Sometimes, that happens – but not most times.
As they grow into toddlers and then preschoolers and you realize that sleep is a thing human beings can only go without for so long, you’ll identify more and more with these 16 parents, who are so, so ready for bedtime.
16. I don’t understand why, though.
But he’s not wrong.
You think your kid will go to sleep earlier & easier because he didn't have a nap THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS DUMBASS WELCOME TO HELL
— keith (@tchrquotes) September 8, 2015
15. You’re reminding yourself, really.
And trying to make sure they’re not psychopaths in ten years.
If you've never said "I love you too" in a way that sounds a tad bit angry, then you must not have kids you are trying to put to bed.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 1, 2016
14. It only feels that way.
Though sometimes it is really that way.
Me: "You're going to bed in 5 minutes."
6yo: *bends the laws of space and time to make 5 minutes last 4 hours*
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 17, 2017
13. If you think your kid’s list never ends.
It’s a joke. None of their lists ever end.
I don’t get why people think getting kids to bed is hard all my son needs is:
A drink of water
4 songs from Daddy
A trip to the potty
Superman flight to bed
An inventory of his stuffed animals
A tissue
2 more songs
Look at my watch for 45 seconds
And all of this 7 more times— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) March 17, 2019
12. Challenge everything.
If you keep talking you can’t fall asleep.
Kids will take anything you say literally unless you say it’s bedtime.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 23, 2020
11. They do like to stay hip with the times.
And look, they’re making you woke, too.
Stay woke.
-Kids at bedtime.
— A Bearer Of Dad News
(@HomeWithPeanut) November 1, 2019
10. And moms with anxiety.
Melatonin for everyone.
No one has more shit on their to-do list than a kid who’s just been told it’s bedtime
—
MacgyveringMom22
(@MacgyveringM22) October 1, 2019
9. Points for being clever.
But no.
me: it's bedtime now
kid: please let me do just ONE thing
me: ok
kid: *starts watching one movie*
— The Dad (@thedad) October 25, 2019
8. We all start out as the first parent.
And end up the second one.
Oh, you’re one of those parents with a bedtime routine as opposed to yelling GO TO BED from the couch every 10 minutes for 2 hours.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 20, 2020
7. Some days I’d rather face Fury Road.
Especially if Charlize Theron is there.
If you've seen Mad Max: Fury Road then you've basically witnessed bedtime at our house.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) August 3, 2016
6. No one can suspend that much disbelief.
We’re not buying it.
You ever watch a scene so ridiculous it just ruins the whole movie? I saw one last night where the dad read his kid a single bedtime book then the kid said "goodnight" and closed his eyes peacefully. Absurd.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 15, 2019
5. He’s living the dream and doesn’t even know it.
Wait thirty years and talk to me, kid.
10 is trying to negotiate a later bedtime and just told me he thinks we treat him unfairly because we make him “sleep too much” and I just wish someone would treat *me* that unfairly.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) December 11, 2019
4. I don’t think Dante ever made it that far.
Think about the people with more than two kids.
What circle of Hell have you entered when your 4 and 2 year-olds synch up their bedtime tantrums?
— A Bearer Of Dad News
3. Because the kids never went to bed.
If they think you have plans they will outlast you every single time.
wife: Let's fool around after the kids go to bed
narrator: But they never did fool around— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 2, 2017
2. You just bought yourself a sore back, mister.
Because you’re not leaving that room anytime soon.
[bedtime]
SON: Can you leave the light on?
ME: So it'll be easier for the monsters to find you?
SON: What?
ME: What?
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) February 5, 2019
1. Excellent joke.
Now go to bed.
Daughter: what did dad cow say to baby cow?
Me: I don’t know.
Daughter: it’s pasture bedtime : )
Me: good one!
Daughter: thanks!
Me: hey that reminds me it is past your bedtime.
Daughter:
Me:
Daughter: [under breath] couldn’t wait til morning to tell that joke could you.
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) February 26, 2020
I’ve been these parents before, and I’m sure I will be them again!
If you’ve got any tips and tricks for getting littles to sleep, please share them in the comments!
The post Parents Who Just Really Want Their Kid to Go to Bed appeared first on UberFacts.