Category: therapists

Posted on

Therapists Describe Fascinating Facts About Human Psychology

Humans have long been obsessed with exploring outward. People have always roamed the earth to see what there was to see.

And in the last 50+ years, we’ve launched into outer space, charting sights and objects further away than we can even comprehend.

But we don’t have to go further than our own skulls to witness things just as mysterious.

Redditor WaterPide is clearly aware of this and wanted some help uncovering a bit more knowledge about it all.

They asked:

“Therapists of reddit, what are some interesting psychological facts about humans?”

One therapist was fascinated by irrationality.

“Something that makes me wonder how we survived as a species and then answers my question at the same time:

“People will adhere to what they believe to be true over what they know to be true.”

“Politics, religion, anxiety, depression, staying with an abuser are all examples. Even when they are able to state what they know, their beliefs interfere and that cognitive dissonance will resolve closer to their belief.”

“As a therapist, it’s my job to help them know what they know and slowly alter their beliefs to be more consistent with what they know. Too quick of a change strengthens the belief system.”

“It amazes me every time a patient has an epiphany and then almost immediately reverts.” — symp4thy

Someone else brought up another example.

“Most maladaptive things that people get stuck in likely saved their life at some point. Most humans don’t do things to hurt themselves intentionally.”

“Examples: self harm may keep someone from attempting suicide to reduce pain or shift emotional pain to physical pain, which may be more ‘manageable;’ someone with an eating disorder likely developed it to cope with intensive trauma or feelings of a loss of control in their life; someone’s anxiety feels like it can them ‘safe” from being hurt.”

“Seeing people through this lens helps me never get frustrated with people because they are doing what they had to do to survive. Either consciously or unconsciously, it makes sense.” — Luci_purr666

That theme continued.

“All behavior has a purpose.”

“An extension of this: there is no such thing as people being lazy. If people aren’t doing something others think they should, it’s for a reason, even if said person doesn’t know that reason either.”

“It might be an avoidance tactic, a learned behavior, or even their body/mind feeling overwhelmed and requiring rest before they take on different tasks.”

“Following that, if people are trying to rest and get nagged nonstop, they never actually get to rest and hence, never get to build up the energy to tackle the things on their to-do lists.” — Pages57

But then there were those who mentioned promising methods. 

“Motivational Interviewing exists for a reason.”

“I constantly run across comments on Reddit that say things like ‘If your therapist isn’t telling you to get out of this relationship NOW, then you need a new therapist!’ But humans have a tendency to dig their heels in when told to do something they feel ambivalent about.”

“There are ways to help people realize what’s going to be best for them that DON’T involve giving straight advice. In fact I’d say giving straight advice can be one of the least effective methods for a lot of people/issues.”

“And these people in our office probably have a dozen friends ALREADY giving them that advice, and they’re still not acting on it.”

“I’m a clinical psychologist.” — revolutionutena

And that wasn’t the only promising approach.

“I am a parent child psychotherapist. I work with children under 6 and their caregivers who have experienced trauma. In a nutshell, the healing comes from the caregiver talking to the child about what happened.”

“We call it ‘speaking the unspeakable.’ Basically young children know something bad is going on; domestic violence, abuse, neglect, loss, and they need a grown up to help them play and talk about it, otherwise they make up their own stories about what is going on and its often totally incorrect and self blaming.”

“Infants, toddlers and preschoolers have the capacity to be talked to about scary things. They can handle it if the adult can find a way to regulate through the re-telling and tolerate the subsequent emotions.”

“I’ve explained addiction, severe neglect, loss, and emotional abuse to 3 and 4 year olds. They are amazing and can handle it.” — Jacsheagood

One method was less transparent.

“psychiatric nurse here. redirection is a hell of a skill. for example, we had a patient screaming at us and peacocking, just ready to fight someone. he had glasses on his head and i mentioned i liked them. he said ‘i need them to read books.’ “

“i asked him about the books he read and we had a whole discussion about that and he completely forgot what he was angry about.”

“learning about it in school i was super skeptical, but seeing it work and using it often is incredible. sometimes a small distraction from our feelings is all we need.” — speedlimits65

One approach verges on the physical body. 

“The more senses you can engage in an anxiety reduction strategy, the better it will work.”

“Like the poster mentioned earlier, your brain does not differentiate why it is ramping the nervous system up. So you have to send it the clear message that this is a safe moment to not be hyperaroused.” — Coffeephreak

And then there were those who shared intriguing factoids. 

“Although there is no way to bring back the memories, playing music to dementia sufferers can bring back the feelings. The study was prompted when a dementia sufferer started crying happy tears to a song.”

“He told the care staff that he had no idea why but he felt really happy. His wife later identified the song as the one she walked down the aisle to on her wedding day.” — RaysAreBaes

Not all were so closely tied to therapy. 

“sitting at an unstable table or chair makes you feel like your conversations (and relationships with the person you are talking to) are rocky, unpredictable, and unstable as well.”

“on the flip side, holding a warm drink makes you feel warmth and friendliness with the people you are talking to.”

“translation: if you need to have a serious talk with someone, give them a warm drink and make sure their chair is level” — hugerefuse

We close with a couple head-scratchers.

“Your eyes can actually see your nose and it would take up more of the corners of your vision had your brain not trained itself to ignore it.”

“Basically, your brain learns to filter out information it finds not useful.”

“Also, our memory is so vulnerable to decay that when you remember something from a while ago, you’re probably just remembering the last time you thought about it instead of the actual event itself.” — IamMayFields

It’s a list that might make you feel a little skeptical about what you yourself are thinking.

Posted on

Therapists Discuss Their “Holy Sh*t” Moments With Clients

We all have unique things that we deal with at our jobs on a daily basis, but therapists really see and hear some wild things.

And us non-therapists never really get a peek into that world…until now!

Therapists got real on AskReddit about the unusual things they’ve seen and heard on the job. Let’s take a look.

1. Awful.

“I was counseling a 13 year old girl for anxiety and she reported s*xual abuse from her step dad. I called her mom and told her mother I needed to call child protective services. Turns out that CPS was already aware and the abuse was first report around the patients age 7.

Mom was aware of the abuse and stayed with her husband anyway. It was a complicated situation, and it wasn’t. How could she not do more to protect her daughter?!

Sorry lady… I’m judging.”

2. People are sick.

“My professor once shared what a patient said that made her quit her job: “I didn’t r*pe my daughter, she liked it.” The daughter was six.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She worked in a rehabilitation centre for people who have been sentenced for serious crimes and were forced to get mental help.

Really difficult job and this pushed her over the edge.”

3. Good Lord…

“Once had a patient whose wife shook their baby to death. He wanted help reconnecting with his wife.

At the time I was a young father of a newborn myself, and he triggered a lot of fear in me for my own child, a deep loathing of his spouse, and pity (the “how pathetic” kind) for the patient.

I tried for 3 sessions, met his spouse and everything before handing the case over to my supervisor (who knew about my initial reactions, and tried to help me through it).

Unfortunately, it ended up being more about my feelings than his, and I was new to the profession at the time. These things are expected to crop up from time to time, but I was still taken aback by my own reactions.”

4. Dumbstruck.

“I work at a group home.

We had a kid who we had admitted four months prior, when in a family session they mentioned they had parasites. Mom said, “yeah, our whole family has them, we don’t get rid of them since they’re part of our biological ecosystem.”

I was dumbstruck.

We spent three weeks afterwards convincing this family it was an infectious disease concerns as other residents have fecal eating behaviors and various other unsanitary issues that could cause a unit spread.

Three weeks of education, planning, and worse of all convincing this kid and mother that their IQ wouldn’t drop because they had agreed to irradiate the parasites!!!

Lots of CBT work, but Jesus it took way longer than any of my team expected!”

5. Brutal.

“I work with kids who have experienced some kind of abuse/trauma (90% of my clients have been s*xually abused). I have a lot of holy sh*t moments but not from judgment of my clients but from what happened to them.

I’ve had clients whose father made them help him dismember mom’s body after dad murdered her in front of them. I’ve had clients under the age of 8 who have been s*x trafficked.

I’ve had clients who have been forced to film torture p*rn. I have holy sh*t moments all the time.”

6. Judging.

“I feel like a lot of the comments saying that they NEVER judge their clients might be working in voluntary services or they’ve been very fortunate in their client base. Judgement isn’t an inherently bad thing. It’s how we know that murdering people is wrong.

So when a convicted pedophile client told me, “nothing gets me going like a pair of little girl’s worn panties”, you better believe I judged the f*ck out of him. I continued to work with him and I treated him with compassion and respect because he’s a human being worthy of both; I did my job because I’m a professional.

But I can’t honestly say that I didn’t judge him. I judged that he should never be around children. I judged that he is not yet ready for change. I judged that his access to his own daughter should be closely supervised. That’s a lot of judgements.

Understanding your own inherent biases and how they influence your work is a very important part of training and practice.”

7. Not a good move.

“As the pandemic worsened here in the US and more lock downs are on their way, one of my most extroverted clients and I brainstormed ways to meet her social needs while remaining safe.

The following week she canceled her session and told me that she’s positive for COVID after attending an orgy, which definitely wasn’t one of our ideas.

I let out the deepest most defeated sigh after I hung up the phone.”

8. Anger management.

“I ran a men’s anger management group though, and some of those men had done some terrible things to women. Most of them I found ways to like and admire for their positive aspects, but there were two guys in that group I just could never find “unconditional positive regard” for.

One guy basically never spoke in group. He would give one word answers and occasionally just discuss how unfair the “system” was to him. I worked really hard to open him up and find things to connect over but he never opened up to me or the group. He left the group after he strangled his girlfriend and went to jail. She survived thankfully.

The other left group early routinely, showed up late, participated minimally and similarly never wanted to open up honestly. He left early one group after we had discussed him staying to the end and threatened me when I told him he wasn’t going to get credit for attendance (something the court required).

Oddly, I eventually moved into the apartment below him (completely without knowledge) and listened to him scream at his girlfriend and break sh*t while I called the cops.

I judge these men. They’re sh*tty. Maybe they’re redeemable, but redemption requires self-exploration and they both refused to do so. It’s worth noting how differently I felt about them than so many others in the group; men I found ways to help and admire and respect even in spite of their awful behavior in the past.”

9. Youth issues.

“I work with youth and adolescents who have anxiety, trauma, and/or depression. Some of the kids I worked with had some pretty severe attachment issues. Regardless of this, I never thought I’d have to seriously explain:

“You can’t just buy a straitjacket for your kid.”

“Feeding your kid ultra Spicy Ramen each night instead of the meal everyone else is eating isn’t specifically defined as abuse, but you have to understand the emotional abuse that this causes.”

“Your kid isn’t trying to kill you because they stand in your doorway at night crying. Thats likely because they’re scared of their traumatic nightmares, but feel like you will just yell at them if they wake you up.”

10. This is terrible.

“A woman who deliberately kept getting pregnant because she enjoyed the attention, and then would immediately afterwards dump her kids with the foster system or in one case a willing relative.

She had six kids at the time I met her…”

11. Drug lord.

“It’s not often I get to talk about my profession, but here goes: I was working at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center and had a client come in who was a self proclaimed “drug lord”.

As we worked together, he told me about his history. Included in this history was how he got to where he was currently at.

During the conversation, this man admitted to selling his sister into s*x slavery, forcibly injecting her with several sedatives and narcotics, and having several people “teach her a lesson” (what this meant, he never shared). He told this story with a blank face, smiling only when he recalled the “good times”, which he referred to as times when he had enough heroin to get through the day.

I’m not sure where he is at now, but this man inspired me to work with victims of s*x trafficking, because not only do they deal with the stigma of “selling their bodies”, they often manage drug addictions.

People would honestly be floored of they realized how many people were addicted to chemicals that they were forcibly given.”

12. The straight story.

“I work in mental health and have worked in acute and crisis settings for the majority of my career.

The most notable event I experienced was when a young person had presented with significant ongoing suicidal ideation who was dealing with a lot of sh*t. I spent a lot of time with them mostly deescalation and working out what the plan should be moving forward.

One of their parents came in a little while later and I had the opportunity to speak to them about where their child was and what had been going on, with their consent of course. Midway through me trying to explain some of the psychological constructs and ways the parent could help they said to me, “is this going to take much longer I have a show to go and watch”.

All I can say is, I never judge my patients, I have never walked their path or viewed the world through their eyes. But the people around them who perpetuate the suffering of the people I work with through ignorance, malice and selfishness, I judge them.”

Have you ever had any major “oh sh*t” moments at your job?

If so, tell us your stories in the comments.

We’d love to hear ’em!

The post Therapists Discuss Their “Holy Sh*t” Moments With Clients appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Therapists Discussed Moments When Clients Really Caught Them by Surprise

I admire people who work as therapists because they have a very tough job.

And I think it would be very difficult to not bring all that baggage home every night…

But we’re dealing with professionals here, okay? And we’re in luck because they talked about some clients that did some crazy sh*t.

Therapists opened up on AskReddit about some of the more interesting things they’ve seen on the job.

1. Troubled.

“Parents of a “troubled” child, which turn out to be the problem themselves.

Total refusal to do any kind of introspection, try to convince everybody (cps, police, psychologist, doctor) the kid was the problem, complain the kid was… A kid (a teenager a that point) by growing too fast and costing money to feed and clothe.

He had smashed their t.v. with an axe. Turns out they hadn’t speak or pay any attention to him in several years and they spent 99% of their free time watching t.v. Kid had no other behavior problem, great in school, very calm. He just reach a point where he couldn’t stand being ignore any longer so he had what she called a “Fried Green Tomatoes” moment.

Parents dismissed their responsibility, only problem they saw was the wacked t.v. Kid got emancipated at 16 and moved to f*ck out of there.

She had a private practice and the only times she expressed any judgment was when someone seeks therapy but refused to do any work or partake in the process. Paying a therapist is not paying someone to agree with you.

You need to show up, you need to -at least- try.”

2. Wow.

“I now work in the jail and there are quite a few s*x offenders in my program.

I struggle with the ones who honestly believe their victims (as young as 8) were in mutual loving relationships with them.

It’s super difficult at times not to just say “dude, WTF!””

3. Give yourself some credit.

“Some of my clients are SHOCKINGLY BAD at giving themselves credit.

They might get a nearly straight A GPA in a brutal major while battling depression, or overcome years of phobia and get behind the wheel again, or write a literal novel, or raise a kid as a single parent with low income

Rr build new relationships after being burned, or cope with OCD well enough to hold down a job. And they’ll talk about themselves as if everyone on earth is better than them, as if their accomplishments are worthless.

And I know it’s because of depression or anxiety or another condition, but I’m often stunned by how differently I see them compared to how they see themselves.”

4. Heartache.

“Had a patient apologise for crying during a consultation, saying ‘I know I shouldn’t be sad, I’ve got so many great things going for me’

Dude.

Three months ago you had to move back to your parents after an unexpected breakup.

Back to the environment which contributed to your official diagnosis.

The same place where your sister was living- before she died, one month after your return to that house, of the same diagnosis you have.

And because she died during a pandemic, not only could you not visit her in hospital before she died, you had difficulty organising her funeral.

In addition to all that he felt financially responsible for both his parents as they’d both lost their benefits- a loss which they couldn’t appeal as their mental health was so poor the concept of fighting that decision was making them suicidal.

I want to hug a lot of my patients, but this one made my heart ache.”

5. Judged.

“The one thing I’ve judged is the situations that people survive and continue to live their lives.

I’ve worked with torture survivors, survivors of genocide and famine. I’ve worked with people whose entire villages were wiped out because a war lord wanted the water well that was sitting in the town.

It always gives me pause in terms of the anguish some people face and their resilience. So if I have one message, it would be in the words of RJ Palacio, “Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle.””

6. Psychotherapy.

“I’m a psychotherapist on an adult inpatient unit, so things rarely phase me. I purposely do inpatient because the thought of seeing people for years at a time bores me.

I’ve been kicked, spit on, seen a lot of nude people, but I help pull people back from their darkest points. It’s pretty awesome. My theory is everyone has a story of how they got there. Even a pedophile.

That being said, I had a patient that was having consensual s*x with her uncle. Very wealthy, society type people. She went very in-depth about the relationship. That one weirded me out.”

7. Are you serious?

“I currently have a young female client that is struggling with homelessness, a history of trauma, s*xual abuse, etc.

She’s not handling these things well, as can be expected. Grandmother, who is her only support, keeps kicking the ten year old out of her house (making her homeless at ten) for acting out, and told me she can’t understand why client won’t just “act right.”

Lady. Are you serious?”

8. Hearing voices.

“There was a client a young teenager that was hearing voices to hurt himself.

He had multiple crisis calls and was admitted several times to crisis centers for observation until he got prescribed meds and was starting to show improvement.

He was starting to disclose that he may have been Gay and was stressed out because his father was old school religious and a pillar of the community.

The young man was recommended to go to treatment abs start in a facility to keep him acclimate to he meds and just to give him some coping skills and all that.

His father pulled him out AMA and refused to allow him to continue medication. He also discontinued his therapy for a more religious approach.

3 months later he completed his suicide.

I see that father around and I want to f*ck him up. I wish I could.”

9. Scary.

“In working with a young elementary aged student, he would start mast*rbating when explaining how he wanted to kill his teacher and classmates in gruesome detail.

Thankfully we were able to transfer him to a more appropriate day school setting where he could receive special services.”

10. Couples counseling.

“Couples counseling; parents of a baby (4 or 5 months old).

We are halfway in our session when I ask them about their baby. Mom: she is in bed right now. Me: ah, grandparents babysitting? Dad: no, she is at home alone. Nothing can happen to her. We bought a special mattress, one where she (baby) cannot suffocate

Me: mouth open… staring at them for a couple of seconds. Then: how long did it take you to get here? Mom: 15 mins or so. Me: alright, the session is over.

I want you guys to go home immediately and call me when you arrive. Please hurry. And Never ever leave your baby alone!”

11. So bad.

“I’ve worked with some really sh*tty parents in my career. Probably one of the worst was the mom who kept sneaking the stepfather back into the house who was being investigated for molesting her daughter.

Hard not to judge someone who puts her own daughter at risk so she could get laid.”

12. Sabotaging.

“It is highly unlikely for me to have moments where I judge my clients.

It happens sometimes, but I’m able to shut down those thoughts quickly in my head and return to being present for the people I see. People are so incredibly complex that my judgment wouldn’t have any meaning anyway and it doesn’t have a place in our work together.

I will admit though, something that does get me feeling a little salty is when I have a client’s parent that attempts to sabotage the therapeutic relationship I have with their child.

Or pulling them out of therapy entirely when some of the things we talk about challenges some potentially unhealthy family dynamics. I don’t feel anger toward the parents, mostly I feel bad for the kid.”

What do you think is your biggest “oh sh*t” work moment?

Tell us your stories in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post Therapists Discussed Moments When Clients Really Caught Them by Surprise appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Therapists Discuss Patients That Actually Frightened Them

Let’s get creepy!

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a therapist who had a scary patient and I guess now I’m gonna find out.

Because we’re about to read responses from therapists who’ve had patients that they were genuinely afraid of.

Check out these responses from AskReddit users.

1. Scary.

“This was early on in training but a mandated client had dropped acid before the session and it started coming on while we were talking.

He didn’t want to be there as it was and was much larger than me (5’0″). Once he got to threatening me for being the reason everything was wrong with the world I ended up needing to get up and leave my own office to get a supervisor.

I definitely thought he would hit and/or strangle me if I stayed.”

2. She meant it.

“The only one I have felt a little scared of was one who threatened to kill me. I knew she meant it.

She had already assaulted a number of other staff. She got sent to a higher security ward and I heard she had broke staff’s fingers first day she was there.

She held staff and other patients hostage in one of our rooms threatening them but circling the table as if playing with them first. I see violence and aggression regularly and it doesn’t phase me but she did.

I would purposely avoid eye contact and look straight ahead avoiding her and pretend I wasn’t intimidated, as that’s what she wanted.”

3. Rage.

“I have a student who is 6’4” with emotional behavioral issues.

Reading his social history made me cry because of all the sh*t he’s been through. So, of course, I have a soft spot for him. But his anger gets out of control and it can be very scary. He punched a pole right in front of me once and narrowly missed my face.

I looked at him in the eyes and sternly said do you realize you almost just punched me in the face? He snapped out of his rage and apologized profusely.

I wanted to hug him and tell him everything was going to be alright. “

4. Freaky.

“I was pretty nervous when the drunk partner of a client backed me into a corner, and pretty goddamn sweaty when a violent s*x offender with a good 80 pounds on me blocked my exit and told me he was going to kill me and my family.

The one that really got me long term was a 15 year old girl in a residential program I worked at. She had substance use issues, which is why she was there, but it was clear from the jump that she had deep, DEEP mental health stuff stemming from her child.

She had been adopted out of a Russian orphanage where she and a younger sibling has been left in a crib alone for god knows how long, covered in lice and shaved bald. She had a lot of (expected) attachment issues but talking to her was like talking to a black pit full of hatred. She hated everyone and everything and had no conception of consequences or what self preservation was.

She’d do stuff that would spin your head around in terms of how unsafe it was…and she just had no reaction. There was no getting through to her, as she needed the interventions when she was a very small child to be able to move forward successfully. She was discharged when it was found out that she was hiding knives under her mattress.

I would not be surprised if she was in jail at this point.”

5. That’s bad.

“In my first semester as a therapist I had a client bring a large hunting knife to session one day, he had it in his waist band in the back.

He revealed it halfway through our session He had been referred to our practice for anger issues.

When in doubt, REPORT.”

6. Had enough.

“Enough to quit my job.

Had high case load of suicidal teens. Most were medicated and low risk, but had two kiddos who had several suicide attempts prior to me, and while under my watch.

I was getting physically ill, not sleeping well, constantly worried. I tried to transfer them to a higher level of care but our company was greedy and didn’t want to transfer them and lose those funds.

I ended up quitting on the spot for these kids to be given a trauma focused therapist and get the help they needed.

Best decision for both myself and those kids.”

7. WHOA.

“They were very delusional and a heavy addict.

They decided our therapeutic engagement was a love story unfolding. Ended with the swat team showing up at the office when they showed up with a weapon and lost their sh*t when I wasn’t there. They disappeared for a couple years.

They appeared behind me on a bus one day and said I saw you with your daughter at your house she’s really pretty. Then gave me my address. They are a known s*x offender. I moved as soon as I could.”

8. Like a horror movie.

“Worked with a patient that complained of reoccurring night terrors about lobsters being boiled alive.

He couldn’t figure out what was causing them.

The fact he killed his gf, chopped her up and boiled her head didn’t seem come to him as a reason he might be having these dreams.

My only fear is the system will have to release him one day as they could never get him sane enough to stand trial.”

9. Takes a strong person.

“I remember when I was working on an adult acute unit, there was a guy who had come to be there through some kind of bizarre circumstances.

He was a pretty important person in the rural area he was from, and he was pretty charismatic. Had a huge family that all showed up for the family session despite having to drive several hours to get there.

The unit had windows that were translucent from ceiling to floor so that light could get in but no one could see into or out of the unit for privacy.

I met with each patient individually as well as in groups, and my office door locked automatically (as is typical for acute units). No one but myself and the custodian had a key. For this reason, I usually tried to meet with folks individually in the group room when it was empty, so we had privacy but I could also get help if needed.

This guy came to my office door and knocked. When I opened it, he came in without an invitation and sat in one of the 2 chairs on the door side of my desk. I sat in the other. He was going on about how much he appreciated my work and how much I’d helped him (which felt disingenuous—he frequently indicated he didn’t feel he needed to be there).

I became gradually aware that he was between me and the door, which was not usually a problem. You actually want to make sure folks have easy access to an exit. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t want to be between a patient and the door.

I did home-based work after I left inpatient work, and in that context, you most definitely do need to be closest to the door). I was also uncomfortably aware of how close he was to me. He could easily touch me if he decided to. I was aware of the fact that I don’t usually feel uncomfortable with proximity, as long as I generally feel safe, so alarm bells started going off.

Then he suddenly said, “how do you like driving that little silver [make and model of my exact car]?” As I said, the windows of this building were all frosted, so there was no way for him to see me getting into or out of my car. All the hairs on my body stood on end.

I had the mental image of being in a room with a tiger. Maybe I’d be fine. Maybe the tiger wasn’t hungry or mad. Or maybe he was. I was only going to get out of that room safely if he decided to let me, which is exactly the experience he wanted me to have, and I could see that he was enjoying it.

That was scary, even though I didn’t have any reason to think he was interested in hurting me physically.

Thank god I have a degree in theatre. I’m sure his predatory instincts told him that I’d received his message loud and clear, but I gave no outward indication of my feelings. I got him out by saying I had to meet with the psychiatrist, and he left the unit soon after.

That was very early in my career, and one of the first of a handful of instances. I’ve done meaningful work with murderers, rapists, animal and child abusers, and just ordinary bullies, and like I said, it’s not about what someone has done.

The folks who have frightened me were (with one notable exception) just ordinary people without scary rap sheets.”

10. Two incidents.

“Used to be a therapist at a behavioral health hospital. I had some patients who genuinely scared me in theory, but nothing ever happened with them. I was significantly attacked twice at work.

Both patients were young women. Neither of them “scared” me beforehand. Both were incredibly quiet, withdrawn, and unassuming. One strangled me with my keys- my lanyard was a breakaway for that very reason, but she had tried to steal them several times that shift in attempt to escape the building and run into traffic, so I stupidly knotted off the breakaway portion.

We carried panic buttons on the lanyards and I was able to press it while being strangled with it.

The other attack occurred when I was fairly new and on a low-security unit, in view of other staff. I was walking away from the patient and she grabbed me by my hair, pulled me to the ground, and dragged me for several feet down the hallway where she began kicking me in the chest and stomach.

She was sent to a higher security unit as a result. I guess I was afraid of her after that, but she wasn’t there long. There was law enforcement intervention after she assaulted a pregnant nurse, pulled her to the ground as well, and stomped on her stomach.”

11. A charmer.

“Worked residential for 20 years. Had only 2 kids scare me

. One put his baby sister in the freezer. She was found quickly and was ok. He was charming, a good looking kid and quite clever. Also no history of trauma or abuse. Serious serial killer vibes.

One was horribly abused and somehow figured out I was pregnant. I wasn’t showing at all since I was fat. He would just stare at my stomach. I asked to be moved to a different group. First kid was or still may be a case study for students at the local big university.”

12. The door is blocked.

“The only time I’ve ever been scared is when my physical safety is threatened such as a patient blocking the door, hinting they know where I live, or implying they’d like to hurt or r*pe me.

I have a stellar poker face and once these really tough patients realize that I’m unfazed they usually drop it. My strength in therapy is mostly just broad acceptance and tolerance of whatever they bring to the table.

I let them know when I have to break confidentiality from the get go and that’s that.”

Have you ever had a patient, a co-worker, a friend, or a family member who you were legitimately afraid of?

If so, tell us all about it in the comments.

Thanks!

The post Therapists Discuss Patients That Actually Frightened Them appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Therapists Talk About Patients That Genuinely Scared Them

I think these responses are going to sound like something out of a horror movie…so it should be kind of exciting! And creepy…

We’re about to hear from therapists who admitted that they have had patients that genuinely scared the hell out of them.

Are you ready to get creeped out?

Here’s what therapists said on AskReddit.

1. Threatening.

“I worked with a student who used to threaten us.

He’d stand directly behind me with a pencil and threaten to stab me with it. I’d remind him what would happen if he did, but otherwise didn’t flinch or try and look at him.

He’d get mad then and throw the pencil across the room. It turns out me and one other lady were able to sit stone faced when he was like that an she never did anything. He’d get way worse if he thought anyone was scared of him.

I was the lucky one, he’d threaten to stab her in the eye. I’d always joked that I’d rather not see it coming.”

2. Scary.

“I was genuinely scared of a 17 yr old client I had. They were adopted and then “given back” to child protective services.

They told me in session they had an entire plan to burn their house down. Down to the date and the time.

I was terrified.”

3. Take it seriously.

“In one of my first clinical placements I had a psychiatrist supervising me who would toss me cases without any meaningful review. One afternoon I went into a room to meet someone for the first time and was told they were “anxious.”

The individual was floridly psychotic and informed me shortly after I walked in that he was scared for himself and others because he was a werewolf and would be transforming that evening.

Apparently I did not respond quickly or meaningfully enough, because in almost the next breath he informed me that I was not taking him seriously enough, picked up the office lamp, and threatened to beat me to death with it.”

4.  Nice to me.

“The only client who scared me was one that was nice to me.

He was awful to everyone else on the treatment team and would never comply with services until I came along. He always greeted me with a smile and wanted to know what I did in my spare time. Asked personal questions. I lied about my entire life.

He would call me to chat about nothing sometimes. I could tell that it was all superficial, however. I would have to text my boss when I arrived at his home and when I was back at my car with the doors locked.

When I got pregnant I begged to be removed from the case.”

5. A tense situation.

“I was doing in home work during my first internship. I was working with a 16 year old male diagnosed with schizophrenia.

This kid was huge, like 6’9 and was jacked. He had assaulted three police officers that responded to a call about my client choking his mom. He threatened to r*pe his sister and pulled a knife on her as well. He had threatened to r*pe several other women.

He also assaulted a worker at an inpatient facility, he broke the dude’s nose. So my agency sends my *ss to work with the kid (I’m 5’1 and weigh like 95 lbs). While working with him he was pretty heavily sedated from all his meds when I met with him, so this made him slightly less scary.

He got up several times during our session and would start pacing. Every time he got up my heart was racing.

He was admitted to a group home so I only ended up meeting with him twice but this kid terrified me.”

6. “I don’t do therapy anymore.”

“I had recently graduated and was working with kids with an array of developmental disabilities.

There was one kid who was about 13, and he was a pretty big kid for his age. After a few sessions, it seemed like it wasn’t too bad. Common behaviors while more frequent, were no different than any other kid with a similar diagnosis. That was until I had to wear my knee brace one day.

I have a bad knee, and sometimes a brace helps. The next session after, he kicked my bad knee and then tried to choke me. If he tried escaping or aggressing, he always remembered to go for my knee. We continued therapy for a few months, until I had to leave for health (knee) reasons.

Apparently I handled it well and the company I was with continued to pair me with known aggressive kiddos. I had to go the doctor for an unrelated reason, and I had so many cuts and bruises the nurse asked if my husband attacked me.

I don’t do therapy anymore.”

7. Wow…

“When I worked with family court there was this super smart, super troubled kid who was in hot water for beating up a random guy on the street with a baseball bat.

Open and shut, surveillance camera caught everything. Apparently he didn’t know his victim, just a random act.

Anyways, he was being tried as an adult (he REALLY beat this dude up) and was being held in adult jail pre-trial. He was assigned a therapist and had a few sessions per week.

Long story short, one session the kid gets mad, grabs the chair he was sitting on, and beats his therapist within an inch of his life. I think the poor guy was on a ventilator for like a week.

Yeah, kid had some issues…”

8. Not worth it for you.

“My 1st job as a therapist in community mental health we had no “close time” & were expected to accommodate any & all late session requests from clients with no security, it was insane.

We had an incident occur with a coworker-her client exposed himself during session. At the next staff meeting we were berated & gas lit about safety “you should park closer” yet we would also get in trouble for parking closer & told those spots were for clients.

Needless to say I only stayed there about 7 months, daily crying & intense anxiety weren’t working out for me.”

9. Close call.

“I got this patient who witnessed his mom get stabbed by his father.

After that happened he only started talking about gore and threatening people. I worked with him for a month and he started getting way better. I started to get comfortable in front of him and so did he.

Then one day he comes into my office, he comes up to me and from his back he pulls out a knife. I barely have time to dodge the knife. The guard runs in to the office and grabs the kid.

He got sent to juvie and I quit after a week.”

10. She only get a year?!

“She told me she’d kill me for trying to shrink her and pulled out a knife and sat there looked her in the eyes trying to assert dominance I got out of that situation with a hole in my hand

She got 1 year in prison with a possibility of parole.

I quit my job 2 months later, my boss understood.”

11. Having an episode.

“My first ever client was having a psychotic episode, was homeless and had all of her belongings with her (a backpack filled with items and a duffle)

She proceeded to pull out a pair of kiddie scissors and cut off all of her dreadlocks and lay them on the table in front of me while talking about needing to get rid of the voices she was hearing.

This was all before I got her to even sign the paperwork ? she and I talked enough to get the formalities finished and she decided to take to locks and put them in her bag like nothing abnormal was happening. I was just glad the scissors went away too .

After that intake, she fell off the face of the earth. Never heard from her again. I was fully prepared to ask her to hand over the sharps and put them somewhere out of reach until she was ready to leave but I didn’t have to.”

12. Good thing Tom was there…

“Before I was a therapist, I worked for a brief time at a residential facility for youth with severe neurodevelopmental disabilities (eg, autism, intellectual disability) and behavioral problems.

All of our youth had a history of violence, most had experienced trauma, and 2/3 were in state custody. Also, this was a for-profit institution that was horribly managed and woefully understaffed.

I was on the older boys’ wing trying to get my group ready to transition to the next activity. Now, one of the boys in my group, let’s call him Jay, was pretty high functioning but had significant attachment issues. When new staff (like myself) would come in, he would quickly develop a favorite (unsurprisingly, it tended to be one of the few who would actually treat the residents as fellow humans worthy of respect).

Jay was funny and likeable and would generally do what you asked, with only a lil bit of sass, which honestly just added to his charming rapscallion persona. However, he’d gradually start to push boundaries, INSISTING that he be in that staff’s group (groups changed each shift for this exact reason), constantly demanding attention, acting out to try to get a reaction (one time he told me I would never get a boyfriend because I had a mustache ?), etc.

If he didn’t get his way, he’d get incredibly angry and upset. And then the next time you saw him, he’d be sweet as pie. Oh, and he’d also stabbed a previous “favorite” staff member in the face with a pencil…

So anyway, I’m trying to get my group ready to go, and Jay has been continuously saying my name for like 5 minutes. In order to reinforce boundaries and NOT reinforce his tantrums, I told him that I would be happy to talk when we were all ready to go and then started ignoring him.

I go into the room of a resident with more significant needs (eg, largely nonverbal, intellectually disabled), to get his shoes on, and I close the bedroom door so Jay’s yelling would be less upsetting to the resident. All of a sudden, Jay LAUNCHES himself at the door.

He’s spitting mad and he’s trying to get into the room with me. I don’t know what he had planned, but I knew it wasn’t a calm heart-to-heart conversation. So I put my whole weight on the door, fighting to keep it closed. Unfortunately, at 15, Jay is much bigger than larger than I am (which isn’t saying much as I’m 5’0″), and none of the doors have locks on them. It is not going my way.

He’s able to get the door open a crack, and I can see he’s smiling, like this has turned into a game to him. But he’s not less threatening or any more in control of his rage. I am freaking out and yelling for backup, but I can’t reach my walkie without letting go of the door.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jay gets full-body tackled and hits the ground with a thud. I take advantage of the opportunity to SLAM the door closed and send out a frantic emergency call on the walkie.

When I finally walk shaking out of the room, I see Jay, still spitting mad, is being physically restrained by staff members and sporting a brand new bloody lip. To my surprise, staff members are restraining another resident, Tom, who is sitting their calmly just waiting to be released.

Apparently, Tom had a history of witnessing domestic violence, and seeing someone try to hurt women was a huge trigger for him. So he had sprinted from his room, tackled Jay, and put him in a hold. (Tom’s parents thought that karate would help their oppositional, angry son more than therapy, so he knew what he was doing.)

Tom had to face the standard consequences for violence (eg, physical restraint until no longer a threat, loss of privileges for that day), but I made sure to thank him. I really don’t know what would’ve happened if Tom hadn’t intervened…”

13. 6’6”, 250 lbs

“I was a therapist for several years. I worked with a variety of patients of ages and diagnoses.

I worked in the community with violent offenders and s*x offenders. I worked with adolescents after suicide or homicide attempts. I worked with developmentally and intellectually disabled adults in rehab. I’ve seen quite the gamut. I had been in plenty of scary situations, but most of the time knew the patient themselves were never a concern.

The only time I was scared was when I had a couple come into my outpatient practice, my last of the day. The man was very large, about 6’6”, 250 lbs. They were having relationship troubles and it became evident he was abusive in about 5 minutes.

He was talking over her, interrupting her, and told her to shut up in a raised voice right in front of me. At one point he slammed the table and that knocked off a trinket. I think we had probably half of the session done at that point, but I ended things because I was scared. I saw the woman individually after that and worked to get her to a better situation.

I looked online after and he had several DV charges.”

Are you a therapist?

Have you ever had a patient that actually scared you?

If so, please talk to us in the comments. Thanks.

The post Therapists Talk About Patients That Genuinely Scared Them appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

People Share the Best and Worst Advice They Got From Therapists

Therapists are paid to give us advice and help us out.

Hopefully, that advice is good and it improves our lives, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

Hey, they’re only human, too, so I guess sometimes they just get sidetracked and dish out bad advice on occasion, as well.

Want to hear some good AND bad advice that people received from their therapists?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. That’s reassuring.

“My psychologist told me as a 16 year old that I will never recover and that I should prepare for a struggling life.”

2. Good enough.

“I was in hospital after having had a suspected miscarriage of a very much wanted child. The hospital knew about my mental health history so they wouldn’t release me without having spoken to a psychiatrist.

It was Sunday morning so the dude wasn’t on site, so I’m lying in a hospital bed and they bring in a phone and the psych is on the other end. I say hello and he says “so I’ve heard you had a miscarriage”.

Me – “well that’s what they think, it’s not certain yet but…”

Psych – “So are you going to kill yourself if we send you home?”

I was like, what the fuck? No empathy or “how are you feeling about this” or “do you have loved ones at home”. Just, like, let us know if you’re killing yourself or not.

I said “I’m not sure. Probably not”.

Apparently that was good enough and they sent me home an hour later.”

3. That’ll fix it!

“I had a religious therapist once tell me I just needed more water to solve my depression.

She concluded this by having me hold out my arms and she tested the strength of each one by pushing down on it and I had to resist against it.

Looking back I should have told her it was BS but I was so caught off guard i was just like, well ok I’ll have some more water.”

4. A pivotal moment.

“I had a psychologist that I was only occasionally seeing at the start of my mental health decline (not his doing, but the help I needed then was more then the once a week meetings could fix).

He had such patience with me and my fear of never getting “over” my anxiety and depression.

He looked at me on our 3rd session and told me straightforward “what if you don’t get better? What if you have this all your life? Why not try to work with it and learn to manage rather than fight it?”

And that really was a pivotal moment on self acceptance for what was going on with me, that this isn’t going to go away like I want it too.

It caught me by surprise, because I was so angry at myself for being depressed, I didn’t think to just accept it.

I’ve been through different programs, doctors and hospitals since, but his words really stuck with me.”

5. Can’t help you.

“”There’s nothing I can do for you. Your problems are untreatable.”

I was 11. The honesty is now appreciated, but at the time it was so traumatic that I repressed the memory of hearing that and acted out so horribly that Toronto health care people have seen me as The Enemy ever since then.”

6. Great…

“I had a Psychologist lean in sort of conspiratorially and ask if I was a spiritual person.

I replied yes and she proceeded to tell me that upon hearing the traumas I’d been through she wanted me to know that I was probably from a cursed bloodline and that I could talk to people from her church about it if I wanted to find out more about it.”

7. Don’t cry.

“I went to a psychologist for a little while for my anxiety and it was clear he wasn’t right for me (much, much older than I was, never let me speak, always changed topics, etc) so I was planning on finding a different person to talk to.

But the kicker was went I was talking about my mother and started crying. To preface, he was big on rationality and staying rational (which is an understandable thing if you’re trying to help with anxiety but he did it in all the wrong ways).

I started crying, and this grown ass man looked at me and said something I will never forget with utmost seriousness.

“Don’t cry. Crying is an irrational response.”

Went through the rest of the session feeling like shit and never went back.”

8. You’re right!

“I had explained to my psychologist how I felt really bad about not wanting to go out on another date with this guy. Felt really bad, guilty, everything.

He looked at me and said ” Well why dont you fucking marry him?”. I just sat open eyed and then laughed, and said “wow, your right…” and never thought about that again. So now, whenever i feel bad about something inconsequential or little I think back to his words haha.

My psychologist was amazing though and I always valued his bluntness as that was usually the best way to get through to me.”

9. Family counseling.

“My mom got family counseling with me (her son) and her and after she had her ten minutes alone with the counselor she called me in for my ten and she told me something I’ll never forget “ya just go live with your dad”(parents were divorced) and so I did and I haven’t had a problem since.”

10. You can leave.

“I was depressed as all hell my first semester of college, and told my therapist about wanting to injure myself or half-ass a suicide attempt so people would take me seriously when I told them I was caving under pressure.

Described the all-nighters, 70+ hours of studio work, cutthroat competition, pressure to perform, vindictive professors. Lamented that this was “the thing to do” after high school and I had to stay on track.

She told me I could leave.

That had never occurred to me. I packed some essentials and drove home that night. I checked into a mental health facility just past midnight.”

11. A wakeup call.

“I had an eating disorder that I lied to myself about and considered just ‘disordered eating’.

Anyway, the self delusion ran deep. I also believed my therapist was an eating disorder specialist. When I moved from the city I was living in, to the city I’m in now, we were wrapping up our final session and when I asked what she used as my diagnostic code, she told me she was treating me for an eating disorder.

I was shocked; but I said I knew she was an eating disorder specialist. She then told me she’s not, she’s a drug and family therapist. Long story short, i was totally deluded and had my entirely own narrative.”

12. Not cool.

“I had a therapist call me an underachiever.

As he sat and talked about all the great things his son of the same age had done. Which was not really much of anything. What a Dick, that shit sticks with you.

I need freaking therapy for going in talking to a therapist.”

13. No longer blind.

“I was 27 before it was brought to my attention that I have debilitating self loathing and I dont like myself.

Legit, I was totally blind to it.”

14. The last straw.

“A psychologist I visited briefly (to treat anxiety and depression) began telling me really personal details about other clients and their sessions.

And not vague stuff, more like “he was hearing voices and the voices said they wanted him to kill me [psychologist] and that was extra scary because he is the owner of [local NFL team]!! Isn’t that scary??” Or “she was addicted to cocaine and cheating on her husband, who is the owner of [local mall chain].”

I grew increasingly uncomfortable with these personal anecdotes, and they began to take up larger and larger chunks of our sessions. By the end there, I would have to interrupt her to redirect her back to MY issues. I was paying her to help me address them, after all.

The last straw was when she left the office for over 15 minutes to go eat lunch, then charged me for a full session.

I confronted her, saying I didn’t want to hear these private and confidential stories anymore, and that I would prefer to stay focused on my issues during our sessions, as I was hoping she could teach me how to work through them (crazy, right?)

She immediately raised her voice at me and tried to tell me I was imagining the whole thing and having some sort of delusion (an issue I’ve never been diagnosed with or struggled with).

Then she backpedaled and tried to say that all those stories had been from HER imagination, meant to benefit me. I pointed out the contradiction and expressed that I didn’t want to spend large chunks of our sessions talking about people in her personal life, imaginary or otherwise.

That’s when she cracked up and told me that I wasn’t “worthy” of someone with her talents, and could never hope to achieve mental health.

I walked out and haven’t been back to therapy since. Got into a supportive community, and they helped me heal, WITHOUT gaslighting me or breaking confidentiality.”

15. Surreal.

“I tried to see a therapist for some light-to-moderate incest-based trauma, and chose the wrongest shrink.

I didn’t exactly do my research: I picked the closest therapist to my office, that my insurance covered; it was billed as generic family therapy – “Perfect, I thought!” And booked an appointment for immediately after work.

When I walked up to the front door, I noticed that it said “Christian Marriage and Family Therapy”. I was immediately uncomfortable, but I was trying to be more open-minded towards those with a religious bent, and figured that as long as they could do their job; their religion was no concern of mine!

I explained to the gent, manning the desk that I wanted to talk about some mildly disturbing experiences, and I wasn’t religious, or even aware that I had booked an appointment at a religious clinic. He was very kind and explained that he helped all sorts of people, and had heard it all. Then he lead me to the therapy office, which consisted of a very large chair, a tiny rickety footstool, and wall-to-wall racks of tapes. I told him about a traumatic experience that had happened days previously, and his reaction shocked me. My therapist:

cried; he at me through watery eyes and said “I don’t know what to say…”

tried to convince me that I wanted to have kids some day and that only him resolving my trauma would help me be the best mother I could be. I still don’t want kids, so that was confusing

Expressed a relentless interest in trying past-life regression and/or hypnotherapy. I point-blank asked him: “wasn’t that proven to be ineffective in the 70’s?” And he assured me that he had been a part of a lot experiments and tests in the 70’s; and this was the real deal!

the last thing he said to me, after I told him I didn’t want to have another appointment, was to rub his hands together and say “Wouldn’t it be great to get into that head of yours; like a steel-trap!”

To date, this was one of the most surreal things that has ever happened to me.”

How about you?

What’s the best or worst thing you’ve ever heard from a therapist?

Talk to us in the comments, please!

The post People Share the Best and Worst Advice They Got From Therapists appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

People Talk About the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Advice They’ve Heard From Their Therapists

Even if you don’t think you necessarily need any therapy, you should go at least a couple of times to give it a shot.

You never know what advice could potentially give you a new outlook on life…

But that doesn’t mean it’ll all be good. Not by a longshot. Therapists dish out all kinds of advice and it runs the spectrum from great to awful.

Let’s dig into these answers from AskReddit users.

1. Are you awake yet?

“When I was in first or second grade, the school counselor fell asleep when I was describing a bullying situation that I was in.

I was so young that I didn’t know how to respond, so I just sat there in his office until he woke up.”

2. That was helpful!

“Was talking to my school counselor about some mental health issues and told him that I like playing card games to take my mind off of it.

The man literally opens his cabinet and pulls out a briefcase full of Yugioh cards (I’m a massive nerd) and says “Sooooooo….. wanna play” ?

Don’t get me wrong but this guy had a lumberjack beard, was fit and looked more like a athlete than a counselor so I was shocked. Got over my problems and played every Wednesday against him!”

3. Can we talk about me?

“I paid and sat through an entire session of therapy during which my therapist ranted as to how great of a career he could have had as a stand up comedian and how much he regrets his current profession.

I kinda agreed with him near the end.”

4. Got it all figured out.

“I had a therapist tell me when I was a teenager that she didn’t know what else to do to help me because it seemed like I already understood everything pretty well.

This was after my overbearing and crazy helicopter mom dragged me in for being depressed. Then she switched to therapy-ing my mom and my mom quickly was in tears because she has the emotional strength of a child and wanted it to be about me when it was actually all about her.

I knew exactly why I was depressed. I was stuck by myself in the middle of nowhere with her crazy ass. No personal space, no ability to get away, not being able to say no, her getting jealous of my friends when I spent time with them. It would make anyone depressed.

She didn’t even let me sit with the therapist by myself.”

5. Go to the ER!

“My therapist once abruptly ended our session after telling me I needed to go to the ER.

I had been in a car accident the day before and had an undiagnosed concussion that was pretty bad. I was so out of it I didn’t even realize I was out of it.

He later told me I was talking about inappropriate topics (I was so embarrassed I didn’t ask what I specifically talked about–i didn’t want to know at that point) and wasn’t making much sense.

I’m just glad he recognized I was off that day and helped me get to the hospital.”

6. Uhhhhh, weird.

“First time I saw a counselor, he was looking over my paperwork and said he could tell from my handwriting the I was good in bed. I kid you not.

I was so caught off guard all I could say was “uh, I think I am.”

So young and not assertive at all. Found out he got in trouble for an inappropriate relationship with a client.

But it really screwed me up for a bit him saying that because I have problems setting boundaries with men.”

7. Good advice.

“She said, “You don’t HAVE to forgive someone, especially when they were so cruel and are not sorry.”

Shocked the hell out of me as every therapist before that tried to get me to forgive, but I can’t.

I live with it and I don’t think forgiving them would bring me any kind of peace.”

8. End on a high note.

“My therapist and I would end every appointment with a discussion of the latest Game of Thrones while it was airing, a great way to end things.

Even the shitty end of the show got plenty of lighthearted ribbing. It was great bc it wasn’t too personal and after talking about sex abuse for an hour I could leave without being such a sad sack.”

9. Sibling rivalry.

“I was in my second ever session, which coincidentally was right after my nans funeral.

I was talking about some stuff that had happened with my sister (who I had already said was probably my biggest issue) and he asked ‘why is this person in your life?

Why do you want to continue a relationship that hurts you so much? Do you actually want this relationship?’

I was floored. It had never occurred to me that my sister didn’t get a place in my life by default because family. I cant tell you how much this improved my life.”

10. PTSD.

“I’ll never forget my first day of therapy.

My therapist asked me if I had ever been abused as a child. I replied, “No, I had a normal childhood. I had everything I needed- food, shelter… I mean, my mother slapped me and would tell me to kill myself, and my dad would drag me by the hair everywhere and pull my hair out… but no, nothing abusive or anything.”

There was at least 30 seconds of dead air between us as I watched her blink while trying to figure out how to respond to what I said.

Eventually she put down her file, crossed her legs and said, “My dear, that IS abuse.” My world came crashing down all around me at that moment.

For so many years I had buried my feelings about what they’d done so deeply that I’d managed to convince myself that what they’d done wasn’t wrong.

Less than a year later I was diagnosed with PTSD and panic disorder from the trauma, and I cut off all communication with my parents.”

11. Me, too!

“My most recent therapist experience lasted for 2 sessions only. Both times, every time I’d discuss an issue i was having, my therapist would say, “OMG me too!”

Like, I’m here for you help me. If you’re just gonna say that I can have this conversation on my own.

The last session the therapist said, “if we met outside of this scenario we’d be really good friends.”

That was it for me.”

12. True, but…

“During my first and only session with a particularly memorable child psychologist, he referred to me as a “miserable bitch”.

It was true, but he didn’t have to call me out like that.”

13. A good tip.

“Had a therapist tell me to make a fuck budget. Hear me out lol!

He said you only have so many fucks to give before you blow, so just like with money you need to budget it out, start with things you have to give a fuck about, kids, work, health and then cross the things you dislike giving a fuck about, like people’s opinion of what you wear, off the list and don’t give a fuck about that shit!

This was an older gentleman who was cool but for the most part very well spoken and didn’t cuss. Hearing him say I needed to stop spreading my fucks so far made me die of laughter and immediately feel better.

To this day I still have a fuck budget that I do every month religiously and it has taken so much stress off my shoulders.”

14. Gee, thanks a lot.

“When I was in high school I was hospitalized for being suicidal.

My doctor there told me some really brilliant advice that totally cleared things up for me, basically just fixing me on the spot:

“You just have to be a normal boy”.

Lol.”

15. You’re too happy!

“I had been suicidal every day for over a year.

When I was 14/15 I started seeing my first therapist. After a few sessions she told me I was “too happy” to be in therapy and kicked me out. And it messed me up a lot lol.”

16. This is bad.

“Went to a psychologist when I was probably 13, I had depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder and they often manifested in bad panic attacks and anger.

After seeing him a few times and telling him everything, he brought my parents into the room and proceeded to tell them that I was fine, I was just angry at my parents and seeking attention. I tried protesting and explaining myself but he refused to listen and tried arguing with me.

Needless to say, I never went back there and my parents took me to a new psychologist. It definitely fucked me up a lot, and even thinking about it makes me angry.”

Have you ever had a particularly interesting session with a therapist?

If so, please tell us all about it in the comments.

Thanks in advance!

The post People Talk About the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Advice They’ve Heard From Their Therapists appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

15 Red Flags When It Comes to Finding a Therapist, According to Patients

Admitting that you need help takes a lot of courage, which is why you want to make sure you get the help you deserve from someone who is qualified to give it. A bad therapist might be worse than not talking to anyone at all. And when you found out you’ve been seeing a bad one, it sucks.

It sucks so bad, AskReddit put out a call for red flags to look for according to both experienced patients and other therapists. Hopefully this’ll help keep you away from any real quacks.

#15. Bad advice.

“When your 3 month pregnant fiance is killed suddenly and the therapist says “You shouldn’t cry.”

Lol. Im tough as nails… but yeah bro. Bad advice.”

#14. You’re gonna see someone else.

“When they get angry that you’re gonna see someone else… my old coworker said that to her therapist and that lady flipped out on her…”

#13. No other comments or helpful dialogue.

“Asking questions like “What can I help you with?” and getting short or frustrated with you when you have trouble producing a tangible issue with an elegant and easily forecasted solution.​

Asking “How does that make you feel?”, or something similar over and over, with no other comments or helpful dialogue.”

#12. Gee, thanks lady.

“from my old therapist: “But emotional abuse isn’t really abuse, right?”

Gee, thanks lady.”

#11. When you pay in advance.

“He offers complementary Prozac when you pay in advance for 3 sessions or more.”

#10. Therapy isn’t one size fits all.

“This is a less glaring red flag, but a therapist should always tell you that it’s okay if their style of therapy doesn’t work for you. They should be open about the fact that it’s okay to stop and see someone else. They should also tell you that they’d like you to tell them if they make you uncomfortable/mad etc.

I feel like so many people would have better experiences with therapy if therapists were open that they aren’t perfect, all-knowing, brain-fixing psychics. Therapy isn’t one size fits all.”

#9. Turns out he got paid.

“They get kickbacks for prescriptions.

I had a therapist keep me on an SSRI that made my moodswings worse to the point I tried to kill myself. Every time I expressed concern, he told me to “just keep giving it a chance,” and got angry when I quit. Turns out, he got paid for every patient he got on Celexa.

Edit: Because everyone points it out, yes he was a psychiatrist. I just misused the word therapist.”

#8. Confidentiality.

“They break confidentiality by talking to your parents, spouse, etc about your sessions.”

#7. She forgot key details.

“Mine was okay at first but later forgot key details in what was going on with me, began to judge some lifestyle choices in ways that were pretty much just “oh it’s only a phase” and kept repeating to me that I have a hulk inside me and need to just keep it under control as his only “technique.” Still in the market for a new one but there aren’t many where I live

Edit since there were a few questions being asked:

I was absolutely a very angry person before. I ruined things with my ex because of how easily I would become upset/angry. But I’m a teacher and I’m genuinely struggling to become a better person both for my sake and the sake of my students. I genuinely tried to implement what this therapist was discussing with me, and I know these are just words so maybe it’s difficult to believe but when I had to answer the questions “who is x person, and who is y person? And fell me where you work again?” over and over again, on top of the therapist forgetting that my parents are divorced and so on, it was difficult. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a long time, but I’m surprised this information was not in his notes.

And for the most part, all that he offered was, again, breathing techniques to calm down and stop the hulk within. First off, I wasn’t so angry to the point I would punch things or anything like that. I would get more upset than angry. I struggled a lot wondering if I was a good person and being treated like I was this hulk just made me feel worse. To some extent I can see why that might sound like something I don’t want to hear. But the reality is that I needed more than just anger management and I didn’t want that to be the main focus and reminder of the damage I had done to my life.

Nowadays I’ve learned to just not stop moving. I wake up early to do a few chores, go to work and spend nearly ten hours of my day doing that (that includes commuting). I come home and I’ll exercise, cook, read, game, watch tv, write…anything to just keep moving. If I stop to think too much I get severely depressed so i think i know now to just not stop. But frankly it’s tiring. That’s why I’m going to do my best to come to terms with everything and that’s why I’m searching for a therapist who can guide me and show me the skills needed to do so.

I am considering online therapy but I would prefer in person because I think that works best for me. I have already looked into a therapist about two hours away from me and plan on making monthly trips if that works out. Thank you all for the support!”

#6. Professionalism.

“Lack of punctuality or professionalism. Showing up late, last minute cancellations, deciding to take a non emergency call during a session etc. These show that they are not committed to helping you and don’t value your time.”

#5. The first guy I saw.

“The first guy I saw was cringing with a fake smile on the whole time I talked. Like what I said was beyond crazy and not things every 15 year old says. It was off putting and I’ve really not gone back.”

#4. Facial expressions.

“Facial expressions of disgust or condescension while their mouth is professing compassion or understanding.”

#3. Texting.

“She’s texting while you’re talking.”

#2. Yes, that’s why I’m here.

“I had a therapist once who simply said “that must be so hard” to basically everything I said. Yes, it is, that’s why I’m here, do you have any way to make it better?”

#1. Go find you a good one.

“Starts the session by telling you that he was once formally disciplined for having an inappropriate relationship with a patient, and then ends it by inviting you to meet up to do some 1-on-1 yoga with him. Later that week, he shows up in your LinkedIn feed for having viewed your profile.

PS – If you have a bad experience with a therapist (like this one that I had, described above), don’t write off therapy. There are bad counselors just like there are bad dentists and bad teachers and bad hair stylists. Walk away from that one and go find you a good one.”

Be happy and healthy, my friends.

The post 15 Red Flags When It Comes to Finding a Therapist, According to Patients appeared first on UberFacts.