15 High School Teachers Share the Dark Secrets They Keep from Students

Teachers have a rough job. And they also have to keep a lot of the BS to themselves because they can’t exactly come right out and tell their students how much they can’t stand them, right?

That’s why this article is so good.

These teachers got personal on AskReddit and admitted the dark secrets about their jobs.

1. No surprise there

“Your parents are literally the worst part of my job.”

2. Drama, please

“Yes, I put you in a group with the kid you have a crush on intentionally. I’m stuck here with you 180 days a year — I want to see some drama.”

3. Nice try

“The weed smell doesn’t magically disappear between the parking lot and my classroom.”

4. C’mon, parents

“If your parents email a teacher and argue with them, the whole staff knows.”

5. They hear all

“We have much better hearing than you assume. We just choose our battles as it pertains to inappropriate comments.”

6. Don’t stand out

“If I know your name by the third day of a new school year, that means you’re probably an asshole.”

7. Truth bomb

“My students are the reason why I am second-guessing having my own kids.”

8. Joke’s on you

“When you think you are being genius by getting me to talk about random things at the beginning of class instead of ‘teaching.’ I’m really allowing it to happen because I don’t have enough planned to cover a full class.”

9. You stink

“I can smell you. Everyone can. Please, for the love of god, use deodorant.”

10. No one likes that

“I am no longer a teacher, but I remember several days that I felt lazy and wanted to give the class the day off. I never did because I knew the teacher’s pet would rat me out. Sometimes even the teachers don’t like the teacher’s pet.”

11. Scandalous

“A lot of us drink, smoke, and sleep around more than you do, and hearing you try to hide it as if it’s something we wouldn’t know about is richly ironic.”

12. Show some respect

“I’d let you get away with so much more if you were actually a decent person who treated others with kindness and respect. Assholes rarely get the benefit of doubt or indifference.”

13. Look busy

“One of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is to fake looking busy. If we’re supposed to be working on an assignment or reading or whatever, and you see me coming your way…at the least have a piece of paper on your desk and a pen in your hand and some shit on your paper, and then I won’t bother you.”

14. One day

“One day you’re going to come across people who are not being paid to tolerate you, and all of a sudden life is going to become considerably more difficult.”

15. Chill out

“I wish I could let my students know how dumb they look sometimes. And how they need to relax and stop taking themselves so seriously.”

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10+ Teachers Who Absolutely Deserve a Raise

Being a teacher in America is a generally thankless, underpaid job. Despite the fact that teachers spend so much time with our kids and are responsible for molding them in such profound ways, many teachers are forced to buy materials for their classes out of their own pocket.

Here are 15 teachers going above and beyond the call of duty who deserve some more cash and a promotion. I think you’ll agree…

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Just throw money at them! They deserve it!

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Teachers Share the Moment They Knew They Had to Quit

Being a teacher is a hard job, and often a thankless one.

And sometimes the stress and headaches just get to be too much. Teachers of AskReddit shared the stories about how they finally decided they had to quit.

1. Didn’t last long

“I taught middle school science in a small rural district in southern Illinois. The superintendent made a position for his wife in our cash-strapped system. Due to scheduling, it moved me out of a job that I loved, into teaching second grade. I lasted 8 days.

When the superintendent called me to tell me that I was moving, he told me not to get the union involved or fight it. I did give him a piece of my mind while on the phone, and I heard rumors that the move was coming so I made plans to leave.

If people ask me why I left, I just tell them that education has gone from making people learners to too focused on test scores. Students lack critical thinking skills.

I quit for about 1.5 years and went to work at a car manufacturing company. I left there, just wasn’t my thing. And now I’m teaching middle school science in a different district.”

2. Career change

“Good timing. I’ve been teaching high school for about four years. I’ve found the work incredibly gratifying in some ways, but I’ve never been all that happy. I start a new job after Christmas break. My kids don’t know that I won’t be teaching them next semester. :/

Stuff I like:

I really, truly love helping kids learn. I love seeing them discover or rediscover a love for reading and writing.

I’m proud that my students feel safe and cared about when they’re in my room. Some of my best teaching moments have nothing to do with my subject area, but instead come from being that “trusted adult” that’s there for students who are going through tough times and need someone to care about them. I have a drawer full of notes and letters students have written me – I cry every time I look through them.

I’ve worked on two campuses and student taught at a third, and for the most part, I’ve enjoyed the people I’ve worked with.

Obviously, the time off is sweet. Having summers and breaks is super nice.

I don’t think there was a single “straw that broke the camel’s back,” but here are some things that led to be wanting to switch professions:

Not enough planning time. Like, not even close to enough. You get one class period a day, which is often eaten up with all sorts of meetings (504/SST/ARD/etc). I get to work early every day, stay after really late, and I still end up having to grade/lesson plan on the weekend.

Horrible work/life balance. I give a lot to my kids – but someone is always there asking for more. Volunteer on weekends for this or that, sponsor this club, come to sports events, etc. After about a year of teaching I realized that I had stopped having any real life outside of school.

State testing. I’m lucky to work in a district that doesn’t harp on it like others do, but when the test is getting close, it’s all anyone can talk about. It’s not an accurate way to measure student growth and it has a tendency to suck out any natural curiosity kids have about learning. Want to ruin how a person feels about reading and writing for the rest of their lives? Shove standardized test prep down their throats for two months.

Being a performer every day is exhausting. I’m basically not allowed to have a bad day, because the kids need me every day. Also, dealing with subs is THE WORST. I usually go to work even when I feel awful (as long as I’m not contagious), because coming up with sub plans and dealing with the fallout of the kids who don’t know how to behave with someone else in the room is not worth it.

There’s not a lot of room to grow in your career. I knew I didn’t want to be an administrator, so I very quickly felt like I was stuck. I saw old timer teachers around that just seemed beaten down and depressed after 30+ years of teaching, and I didn’t want to end up like that.

The paperwork. I spend so so so so much time dealing with SPED accommodations/504 forms/etc., it’s just unreal.

What it really boils down to, is that it’s impossible for me to be good at my job in every way I’d like to be. I can either 1) plan good lessons that engage the kids, 2) give useful feedback on student work, 3) be a paperwork superstar, or 4) be a teacher that’s involved with extracurricular activities. But I can’t do all of them at the same time, or even most of them. I know I’m a good teacher. My evaluators at each campus I’ve been on have uniformly loved me. I know I’ve been a good influence on many of my students. But I always, always, always, feel like I’m not doing my job good enough. I’m always behind. I have to pick what I think is most important, and just deal with the fallout of not doing the other stuff that well. It’s draining and depressing.

Oh, and cellphones. I know it’s not just a problem for kids, but we’re in the midst of a serious technology addiction problem. Many students are straight up incapable of carrying on a conversation, even with their friends, without staring at their phones every few seconds. Focusing on anything that requires brainpower is legitimately out of the question for some of them. It makes teaching frustrating when you feel like you’re giving it your all, and you look around and realize that some (it’s always just some, but sometimes it feels like most/all) of them would prefer shitposting memes and snapchatting with their friends.

Again, I love my kids, and there’s a lot that I love about teaching, but I have had plenty of moments where I look around the room and think to myself, “fine, fuck this. If you don’t care about your own learning, why should I? Have fun reading and writing like first graders for the rest of your adult lives.” For example, I have one student who has had a seriously horrible life. It breaks my heart, and I’ve spent a lot of my time this year working with him directly, trying to build him up. He’s a “trouble maker” and mouths off and has gotten in plenty of fights. The in-district alternative school won’t take him because of his violent history. This kid desperately needs help and some kind of life path.

He expressed interest in a specific trade, so the administration jumped through hoops to get him into a program that would, for free, enable him to learn that trade and graduate with some kind of certificate or licence. He got kicked out of the program after less than a month because he ignored class and played on his phone all day, so he never even learned the required safety guidelines that he needed to know to operate the equipment he was supposedly interested in learning about. Teens, especially teen boys, have undoubtedly ALWAYS had problems with executive functioning, but cell phones take that natural weakness and turn it into a gaping, infected, life threatening wound.

I knew going into the job that most teachers quit less than five years in. I thought I could handle it. I wasn’t in it for money or glory or recognition. But even in a good district and school, the deck is so stacked against you. I’m not looking forward to telling my kids that I won’t be their teacher next semester. Some of them will be mad, and some will probably cry. I will likely get embarrassingly emotional when I tell them myself. But teaching feels like being in an abusive relationship, and I’m ready to walk away from it.”

3. Walked out

“Crappy, selfish, ignorant staff. They were always bad, but tolerable. My last group refused to do much of anything and bullied me mercilessly. The last straw was when one refused to move to a different classroom and verbally attacked me over it. As if it were my fault. The move was in the best interest of the child.

I basically walked out and my bosses were completely understanding as they saw what I’d been dealing with for ten years. This was a special education room with children with profound disabilities that required a lot of care. I’d been teaching 18 years. Residential facility.”

4. Cliques

“The other teachers were gossipy and cliquey like they had never graduated high school (I started teaching at 30 after having worked in different types of jobs). They talked sh*t about each other all the time. The one teacher they all told me to avoid turned about to be the only teacher I could stand. Like me, she also worked “in the real world.”

The principal wanted me to lower my standards (which were exactly the state standards for that class. Nothing higher) because “they didn’t grow up talking about Shakespeare at the dinner table, like you.” Umm neither of my parents graduated high school so I don’t know why he assumed I was in some over educated household just because I had a few degrees. He was also just a major asshole. (He later was demoted from principal back to a teacher because he was terrible).

The students were okay, but I couldn’t stand the other teachers.”

5. I’m out

“I had a severe ear infection and temporarily lost my hearing for 3 days.

Tried to push through it for the first day but realised that not being able to hear the 30 9-year-olds in my class made teaching them pretty difficult.

I took 2 days off and sent highly detailed plans to the supply who was covering me. This was the only time I took off for the whole year.

I return to work to no less than 10 complaints. Apparently my sick leave was ‘incredibly selfish’ as having a different teacher for 2 days was ‘very confusing’ for the poor darlings, who couldn’t cope.

The Head teacher backed me up and told them to, respectfully, f*ck off but that was very much the last straw.

I’m bending over backwards working weekends and evenings for you and your kid but you can’t afford me a little human decency? I’m out.”

6. Not gonna happen

“Friend of mine quit on the spot when he was asked to change a student’s grade.

The kid missed over 50% of the classes, never handed in homework, did poorly on tests, etc, and ended up failing the class. He truly earned his failing grade. Because his father was an influential member of the school board/generous donor/blah blah blah, they “couldn’t” let the kid have a failing grade on his record.

Summer school was also not an option because the family had already scheduled a vacation during the time that summer classes would be in session. So, the principal told my buddy that he had to change the student’s grade to a passing grade.

My buddy told the principal he would absolutely not sign off on that, and if it was so important to him, to change the grade himself. He then. said “if you do change it, don’t expect to see me back here in September.” Sure enough, the grade got changed, and my buddy packed up his shit and left.”

7. Wild

“My 6th grade substitute science teacher quit in the middle of class. We were wild and unruly. Totally out of control. I watched him rub his forehead in frustration and he stands up, yells “F*CK EVERY ONE OF YOU!”, grabs his briefcase and walks out. It wasn’t singularly my fault but I still feel really bad about it. I’m sorry, Mr. Messina.”

8. Figuratively died

“I was teaching journalism in college.

A student handed in an article, which was supposed to go in a newspaper, that included no research and multiple emoticons.

Emoticons. This was before Buzzfeed.

So I gave the paper an F, and said come talk to me about this. I explained in short form why journalism exists, why it is important, and that his worst grade is dropped so this doesn’t have to hurt him. Hell, I would accept a redo.

The student in question was an athlete in a big state school for throwing balls fast.

I got shit from the dean of students, my department chair, other professorial types. Why wouldn’t I let it go? Was I racist or hate sports or what?

I just wanted him to try a little harder at the thing that was his college major. I used to pick my words so meticulously because communication is so important.

I held to my ethics, he got a tutor after a couple weeks, but it broke me. My mom had died less than a month prior and I had to explain to a college dean why “lol ;)” in the context of a journalistic article about a bar was unacceptable.

My father spent years learning English, and speaks it better than I do. This motherfucker threw balls fast and because of that I was supposed to pass him without question. Let’s go football, but between that and mom dying I could not go on. I figuratively died in that meeting.”

9. Breakdown

“Had a mental breakdown, brought about by stress: curriculum changes, meaning that low ability pupils were constant told that they were not good enough; less money meaning redundancies. Then the pressure of performance related pay with same said disinterested and low ability children. It was either leave teaching or commit suicide. Very supportive family and well paid partner meant that I could stop.”

10. Future felon

“Two things happened at once. After 4 years of teaching seventh grade:

A girl who complained to me for an entire semester of being harassed/groped brought a pocket knife to school and threatened a boy with it if he grabbed her breast again. SHE was expelled. I reported the incidents to administrators, school resource officers, and guidance counselors. They ignored her, me, and her other two teachers until she became that desperate for him to stop. Assholes.

Also, a “troubled” student (read: future felon, now a current felon) saw me walking from the convenience store with my goddaughter. He followed us and found my house. Started riding by, throwing stuff in my yard, yelling obscenities, etc. School resource officer said to go to the police; they said to go go him.

Final straw: he climbed on my fence and shot my dog with a paintball gun. I threatened to quit on the spot so they moved him from my class. Then over Christmas break, he stabbed and ruined my inflatable decorations.

I finished the year and was done. The girl from the first story homeschooled to finish high school, went to college, and just started her P.A. program. The future felon became an actual felon at 18, and is still in jail. Go figure.”

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15 Students Share the One Detention That Was Totally Worth It

Few things terrify kids more than one word: detention.

Not only will their parents know they screwed up, but now they have to go sit in a room and basically do nothing. Well, besides homework. And that’s if you’re lucky. Some detentions are completely silent. Those are definitely the shittiest.

But sometimes when revenge is involved… those detentions just fly by.

Here are 15 stories of students who got back on those who had wronged them, and didn’t mind serving the time because they definitely did the crime.

1. “Because she couldn’t hold a pencil.”

I beat the crap out of a boy twice my size in 3rd grade for teasing my friend – another girl who was severely physically handicapped, in a motorized wheelchair, who had to use a computer to type because she couldn’t hold a pencil.

School had a no-tolerance policy for fighting – the principal said he understood why I did what I did but next time not to fight on school grounds…so the next time it was at a playground near the lake.

I didn’t get in trouble for that one, though the police were called.

2. “I was never bullied again after that…”

After being bullied a lot between the ages of 8-14, I finally snapped as I was ‘walking away’ from a bully and he said, ‘Keep rolling, fatboy,’ in front of a girl I liked.

I turned around in a blinding anger and hit him so hard that I broke a few bones on my hand, and his nose, He fell back and landed in a puddle of mud and started crying.

Fast forward to sitting outside the headteachers office after I was reported for fighting, and out walks my favorite teacher, who apparently saw the whole thing and argued in my corner, meaning the only punishment I got was a weeks of lunchtime detentions.

I was never bullied again after that incident and I just wish I had done it sooner.

3. “During the next class, she wouldn’t leave me alone.”

A teacher in our chemistry class had been acting aggressive and bullying towards students all year. If anyone asked for help, she would always call that person a condescending name or something.

At one point, I literally heard her say to a student: ‘I don’t give a (censored) when you get your homework in!’ and at another point she accused me of trying to tell her how to do her job after requesting more time to do homework.

Yeah, half the time her insults and accusations weren’t even related to what was going on.

She seemed to especially target me, and one day we got into a major argument over a late homework. I was feeling rather guilty for some of the things I’d said in the heat of the moment and went to apologize to her during lunchtime.

She asked me what I was apologizing for and I said I wasn’t sure but I’d clearly annoyed her and was sorry for it, and she basically told me to bugger off and leave her alone.

During the next class, she wouldn’t leave me alone.

Every two seconds she was going, ‘Are you doing work or just daydreaming,’ ‘Turn to the same page in your books as the rest of the class,’ ‘Are you even listening?’

Eventually I get sick of it and finally call her on her crap: ‘Okay now you’re just being condescending.’

She goes into a fury, spends a full five minutes berating me and sends me out of the class, telling me to wait outside.

Half an hour later she comes out, asks me what I was thinking, and accuses me of being, and I quote, ‘out to get her.’ I try to defend myself and she says, ‘Okay, you can return to my class now, sit down in your chair and not say a WORD to me for the rest of the year.

Or, if you want to argue with me, you can gather your stuff, get out of my class and not come back.’

I told her I DID in fact want to argue with her, that she was being totally unfair, then went inside, left, and went straight to the head of school to tell him everything that had happened.

Long story short I was in the very next lesson with her and she didn’t do a thing against me for the rest of the year.

She did however move on to bullying another guy in the class who had the same name as me (I wonder if there’s a connection there).

I tried to defend him where I could though and eventually we both managed to be rid of her as we dropped chemistry next year.

4. “I brought an extra change of clothes hidden in my backpack…”

I had a teacher who would not let anyone go to the bathroom the entire year, so the last month of school, my friends and I got so fed up with it, I decided to take action.

I brought an extra change of clothes hidden in my backpack and drank three bottles of water at lunch.

During class that afternoon, I asked the teacher if I could use the restroom, and of course, she responded with the usual ‘no,’ so I said ‘ok’ and just urinated all over myself and the desk.

Since I had an extra change of clothes, it was only uncomfortable for a little bit.

The look on her face was worth it. Now she lets any and everyone go to the bathroom as needed. You’re welcome, America!

Basically, I wet myself during class at school to make a point to the teacher to let people go to the bathroom during class.

5. “At the end of it, everybody stood at the street in front of the school yelling…”

I once instigated a whole revolution in my (Catholic) school.

We had an horrible math teacher that nobody liked, and when he took vacations, they brought a substitute teacher that was really great, so we did a petition with signatures from students of all grades for the school to keep her as the official teacher.

I was the head of the movement, so I went to the principal with the ‘document’ to show our efforts. She laughed at me and told to get out of because students don’t have the right to demand such things.

I went back to class crying (7th grade) and my classmates became really angry that the principal had treated me like that so everybody got out of the class, started to call the other students in all classes to join then and they did.

At the end of it, everybody stood at the street in front of the school yelling that the principal was a jerk.

I was in serious trouble after that but totally worth it.

6. “GAME OVER! WE WIN! BIGGEST UPSET IN STATE HISTORY! Nope.”

My senior year, our boys basketball team is in the playoffs, playing the number one seed. They were much bigger, faster, and stronger than us. We didn’t have size, but we made up for it with good ball skills, shooting, and defense.

We tie the game with about eight seconds left. As they’re coming down the court with the ball, their point guard dribbles the ball off his foot. It’s about to roll out of bounds when our MVP grabs it and takes it in for the easy lay up just as time expires.

GAME OVER! WE WIN! BIGGEST UPSET IN STATE HISTORY! Nope.

The ref on the opposite base line says our guy kicked the ball and the opposing player in the process.

Their ball, double bonus, we’re effed. The thing is: our guy wasn’t even close and had started retreating to set up a perimeter defense in order to stop penetration and force a longer shot.

HE WASN’T EVEN CLOSE! Of course, everyone goes nuts and there is a meeting among the refs. The original call stands, everyone is booing their faces off, and our coach begins arguing the call with one ref while the kid buries his foul shots.

To top it all off, there was only .3 seconds put back on the clock. The ref says there will be no more extra time and as they are fixing the clock, the chanting starts…

I started this chant earlier in the year.

It goes like this: ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’ I know, it makes no sense, but it was different and fun and I was in high school, what can I say?

So I start this chant.

LOUDLY. I’m literally screaming at the top of my lungs. Within about ten seconds, our entire bleachers section is wailing and the students all come as close to court side as possible with me, and start screaming, ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’

It was so loud that no one could communicate on the court.

Imagine about four hundred people at the top of their lungs, in a high school gymnasium. Then, our bench players start in!

It was epic! The refs keep trying to wave us off and are blowing their whistles like wild, so they can confirm the clock is right and/or game is over.

The ref in question turns to the scoreboard guy and gives a ‘THAT’S IT!’ type of motion. We’re still going nuts with ‘oats and beans.’ The refs are trying to leave the court and our bench stands up to block the entrance to the locker room.

We storm the court, surround them, just screaming ‘oats and beans, beans and oats!’ as loud as we can. They push through us and into the locker room.

It didn’t stop there.

About a hundred students followed them into the locker room, ‘oats and beans-ing’ it all the way. We followed that jerk out to his car and never stopped.

He ‘retired’ after that season.

I was suspended for three days for inciting a riot after the guy threatened to press charges for ‘psychological abuse.’

The best part: the superintendent of the district comes to my house on the last day of my suspension.

My parents were angry, but I was a senior, good student, and already accepted into college, so I didn’t get it too bad. The superintendent goes on to sit us all down and tell us how lucky I was that there wouldn’t likely be legal repercussions and whatever.

I go to my room so he can talk to my parents alone, then my mom calls me back down to say goodbye. He shakes my mom’s hand, my dad’s hand, then mine and says, ‘Son, you’re going to change the world.’

At the end of the year, I was given a $2000 ‘spirit’ scholarship and the entire school chanted ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’

when they announced my name at graduation. It was amazing and made everything worth it.

7. “I relished in the look of her disgust…”

I went to a K-8 Catholic school. Our school lunches were pitifully small, same portion for 1st graders, as for 8th graders.

The lunch ladies understood that the portions were small and would often let students get second servings, which they were otherwise going to throw out.

I went to get some extra salad. Rather than giving me an additional serving, they just gave me the remaining, heaping mound of cheap iceberg lettuce drenched in Italian dressing. It was seriously probably several pounds of salad.

I had no intention of eating the entirety of it, but a teacher caught me eating the leftovers and said I had ought to finish it otherwise it would be so wasteful.

At that point it became a competition to prove her wrong. I had to stay probably an extra 10 minutes to finish munching down the pile of salad. When I finished, the teacher called me a pig and gave me a detention anyway.

I relished in the look of her disgust and gleefully took the detention.

8. “I could feel the chair vibrate under me…”

I was in class in high school and a female student asked to go to the restroom. The teacher replied, ‘No, that’s what passing period is for,’ and didn’t let her go.

This ticked me off something terrible, because the student was a girl and might have had women issues, so I came up with a plan.

I held all of my farts for a whole day until the next class with this terrible teacher.

Being on the football team and on a high protein diet, it was very hard, but I did it. When I got to the class, I waited about 5 minutes and asked to go to the bathroom, I received the same snide remark, so I bent over as much as I could and let go the loudest, longest fart in my whole life.

I could feel the chair vibrate under me and the whole class burst into laughter.

I was immediately sent to the office which was great for me, because I’m sure it smelled like a dead whale that had been beached for a month.

I received five days of in-school suspension for farting in class, and had to do extra workouts for missing football practice. It was worth it.

9. “Our principal’s attempt at therapy didn’t work.”

To make a long story short, there was this girl who was a complete jerk, bully, and overall horrible to me. One day, after years of harassment, I took a permanent marker and drew all over her sweater, arms, and face.

This prompted a week’s worth of detention, but she didn’t get off scot-free though.

The faculty knew that this was a long time coming and gave her detention as well. This, however, meant that the two of us spent a week of our school year sitting in the office with the principal, talking about our issues.

I also had to pay for half the price of the sweater, which was pretty expensive, especially to a elementary-schooler.

Our principal’s attempt at therapy didn’t work.

We still openly hated each other, but the week of detention and the money was all worth it because she never harassed me again. Instead, it turned into a cold war.

She knew that if she ever poked me hard enough again that I wouldn’t be afraid retaliate with nuclear fury, like I had done before.

Needless to say, it stopped a lot of the other bullies from messing with me too. Being the runt of the class, the remainder of elementary school was rather relaxing.

10. “I started running as fast as I could straight at him…”

When I was in 4th grade, this annoying 3rd grader kept messing with me. He would run up behind me and try to knock me down all the time. Especially since he was just a 3rd grader that was trying to bully me, it ticked me off, and I decided to end it before it got out of control.

I saw him standing there doing nothing like an idiot one day at recess and remembered how much he had been bothering me.

I started running as fast as I could straight at him from across the play ground, and knocked him flat on his back. He got up and tackled me, and we rolled around on the ground wrestling for a little while before one of the recess monitors saw us.

I got in trouble and had to write, ‘I will not fight’ or something like that 25 times during one recess. He never bothered me again after that, though.”

11. “The class was silent for a few seconds…”

I had this witch of an English teacher in 9th grade who had a horrible temper and would always victimize boys for no reason. One day she gave some vague instructions and the class just looking at her puzzled.

She said, ‘Don’t look at me like I’m naked!’

The class was silent for a few seconds until I covered my mouth as if I was about to cough and spouted, ‘Gross!’

The class erupted with laughter and I got a week of detention. After the first day, an assistant principal found out about the situation and called off the rest of my detention.

12. “One day she picked on the fat kid sitting next to me…”

I got kicked out of class for making a substitute teacher cry.

For background, the teacher was horrible with the class. She told students they were dumb, talked down to them, and was all around just not good for a healthy educational environment.

For example, we once watched a movie on space exploration and and after part one, I talked to her about how we could just put bubble structures on a planet with an atmosphere.

Put plants in there, slowly expand and increase until they covered the whole planet. She laughed at me, told the class how this would never work and continued with lesson plans.

The next day, we watched part two of the film and it went over the idea of terraforming using structures where they gradually increase size of structures to alter the planet to make it inhabitable…

Sure, they also said it would take an extremely one time and be super costly so not a very viable option, but nevertheless I felt vindicated.

Anyway, one day she picked on the fat kid sitting next to me and I lost my cool.

I stood up from my desk and proceeded to berate her, telling her that she shouldn’t be allowed to shape the minds of children, that she was awful at her job and how I truly believe she should look into another occupation.

After some choice verbal jabs, I got sent to the office.

After I left, she burst into tears. I feel my outburst was justified.

13. “I found out two years later that the bully of a gym teacher was fired from his job…”

I was in 8th grade and our gym teacher picked one student per class to make his personal slave. I wasn’t having any of it, so everything he tried I was able to one up him.

The final straw was when we were throwing frisbees and he threw one at me. At the last second he said ‘Heads up!’ expecting me to get hit in the face.

I don’t know it happened but without looking I grabbed it, spun around and whipped it back at him fast enough and hard enough to give him a bloody nose when it cracked him square in the face.

He sent me to the principal’s office where she while laughing her butt off about it, but she had to give me a three-day suspension due to ‘attacking a teacher.’

I found out two years later that the bully of a gym teacher was fired from his job due to multiple students, from several years, coming forward and claiming physical and verbal abuse.

So it was totally worth it to get that bully out of teaching.”

14. “…Held up a brazen middle finger, and walked inside, ignoring his demands that I stop.”

In high school, my dad dropped me off out front after all the buses had left. The vice-principal was being a jerk for no reason and giving my dad trouble for ‘parking’ in a bus lane (when in fact he had not violated any rules).

It was clear the VP was trying to pick a fight. After a brief heated exchange, my dad drove off, and I heard the VP mutter ‘scumbag’ under his breath.

I stood in front of the building, waited for the VP to turn around and see me, held up a brazen middle finger, and walked inside, ignoring his demands that I stop.

I proceeded to dodge detention until I was pulled from class.

Basically, I flipped off vice principal in front of the school. Felt great.

15. “So I had taken my belt off as some sort of make-shift weapon…”

Some kid was stealing money out of the locker rooms every day after school while sports teams were practicing. I skipped cross-country practice one day and hid in the shower area in an attempt to catch them.

After waiting for over an hour, I finally heard someone enter.

I didn’t know what I would be up against, so I had taken my belt off as some sort of make-shift weapon (just made me feel safer). I hear the sound of velcro separating, and I knew I had finally caught him.

I ran out to the locker area, and he flung the wallet in his hands away and immediately pretended to be opening a lock on the locker. The culprit was this tiny 8th grader (our junior high was connected to our high school).

As he sat there fumbling with a lock, I just stood and waited.

Finally, when it was clear to him that he wasn’t fooling me, and that he didn’t know the combination of the locker he was trying to open, he looked up at me.

I started yelling at him, telling him how many people wanted to kick his behind. The wallet he was opening was one of my friends, who was in open gym nearby.

I told him to wait there unless he wanted trouble, and got my friend.

Ultimately, we started trying to extort the money he had stolen over the last few weeks with threats, because we were concerned that if we turned him in we wouldn’t see a dime.

Finally the kid turned himself in, because he didn’t have any of the money left, nor a way to make the money, and was legitimately concerned we were going to hurt him.

The discipline lady said something I’ll never forget, ‘you just can’t do that.

I’m glad you did, but you can’t take the law into your own hands. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to give you detention for this.’ She asked why I didn’t turn him in, so I answered her honestly.

She asked us to get a list together, and made his parents pay up. All-in-all, totally worth it!

Basically, I caught a kid stealing and extorted money from him rather than turning him in.

I wish I had a story as good as any of these, but I don’t. I was such a good kid back in the day.

What happened?! 😀

The post 15 Students Share the One Detention That Was Totally Worth It appeared first on UberFacts.

Teachers Crack Us up with the 15 Best Late Excuses They’ve Ever Heard

Teachers work long hours that they often don’t get sufficiently compensated for, deal with our kids for more hours a day than we do (while they’re conscious at least), and have to navigate through endless red tape. If that sounds like a big headache, that’s because it is.

But they do have some little joys, one of which is that kids say some of the funniest things when they’re lying. These 15 tardiness excuses are proof of that beyond a shadow of a doubt.

And of course, on rare occasion, some of those outlandish-sounding excuses turn out to be true…

#15. Lol, gross

“I remember this from 11th grade. Our history class was right after lunch. The class started with a quiz, so everyone was quiet. This big guy comes in like 15 minutes late. He goes over to our male teacher and whispers something in his ear. The teacher repeats it, but a little bit louder so that it was audible.

And the teacher says, ” The cafeteria lady sold you an all-bread Stromboli ??? ”

Yes, the cafeteria lady had indeed sold him an all-bread stromboli, with no meat and cheese in it. So he had to go back and ask for another one, sit down and eat it, which was why he was late for class.”

#14. For a week or so

“Student walked in and looked a bit shaken. She told the class she had been hit by a car in a calm voice. English was her second language. Some people were confused and didn’t think she had been a pedestrian struck by a vehicle. Not five minutes later, a police officer, paramedics, and the school nurse come in and usher her away. Apparently she got hit, got up off the ground and sprinted into school.

She had a minor concussion and we didn’t see her for a week or so.”

#13. Barefoot and crying

“Not sure if this applies, but a teacher was telling us about how important it was to hand in our essays until the end of the week (we had to hand two essays per week). While she was talking about how she wouldn’t accept tardiness, there was this only one exception when she accepted it on the following week.

Turns out a student was mugged on his way to school. He ended up losing his backpack with everything inside (including the essays), phone, wallet, socks and shoes. The student ended up going to talk to the teacher barefoot and crying, telling her how he tried even to persuade the assailant to let him get the essays out of his backpack, but to no avail.”

#12. To be fair

“Locked in their own house was a good one. To be fair, some really old locks could only be unlocked if you had the key. So if your parents were the only ones with the key and locked the door on their way out, you’re fucked.”

#11. A local euphemism

“I work in South Korea and had a fifth grader say he was late because he “caught a whale”, which is a local euphemism for getting circumcised.”

#10. We were the accident

“I teach at a university, but this was from my high school years.

My sister had just gotten her learner’s permit that week, and was driving to school for the first time, with me riding shotgun (required licensed 18yo family member etc.) We came up to a very sharp intersection — something like a 135-degree hairpin turn, and the light turned yellow.

My sister asked me what to do, and I said to stop for it (not liking the odds of a complete noob driver trying to do that turn at speed with me on the outside).

She stopped, quickly. The Mercedes behind us didn’t. Everyone except the Mercedes was okay, but it snarled traffic up pretty badly for a while.

I drove the rest of the way to school (the crash totaled the Mercedes, but just dented the back cargo door in the Blazer we were in), and waited in line as student after student checked in late at the office with “There was an accident on the way to school.”

Our excuse was “We were the accident on the way to school.”

#9. I teach preschool

“I teach preschool, so most of our excuses are detailed explanations of their bowel movements.”

#8. The parent before me

“I once signed my daughter in late to elementary school, and the parent before me had put “UFO Sighting” in the “reason for tardiness” box.”

#7. Didn’t even have a truck

“Call ins, but still…“forgot to turn off my f***in heater,” “somebody stole my tires and put my truck on blocks,” and “gotta find my damn dentures, those things are expensive” are my favorites.

Edit: the second guy didn’t even have a truck.”

#6. Her dog really did eat her homework

“Not a teacher, but in the third grade I had to give a presentation in social studies class. We got to read our presentations off of a piece of paper. My dog ate half of that paper the morning I was supposed to deliver said presentation. I was hysterical because I didn’t think my teacher would believe the “my dog ate my homework” excuse. My dad wrote a note for my teacher “Please excuse gxminifxxd as her dog really did eat her homework.”

#5. Scans of his head and everything

“Years ago I had a student come in who had missed the test the previous week. He said a while back he had been shot in the head and they were unable to remove the bullet and the previous week it had started shifting and he was in the hospital. Showed me the scans of his head and everything.

Also, right now another student’s friend let me know that he is in jail for a few weeks and asked me if I could please not drop him as he wants to stay in the class.”

#4. Misfit Disney princesses

“I’m a TA and last semester a student emailed me saying he would be late to class because he got bit by a squirrel.

There was also a different student who came to class with a baby turtle he found one day (on time though). It’s possible I was teaching a class full of misfit Disney princesses.”

#3. You have to respect bathroom problems

“Just heard this one last week:

“I’m sorry I was late, I have diarrhea”.

Truth or lie, you have to respect bathroom problems.”

#2. Cool/stupid

“Primary teacher here – teaching 11 year olds, kid comes in 30 mins late because he was waiting for his LED shoes to finish charging.

Turns out he was not lying and proceed to moonwalk over to his chair with his shoes flashing. Couldn’t even be mad it was too cool/stupid at the same time.”

#1. Toronto shooting death

“I was a TA, running twice weekly lab sessions in the evening. Being more than 10 minutes late to a lab usually earned a 0 grade for the day, so you usually needed a medical note or police report to get out of it.

At the end of class, one student who was 20 minutes late came up to me and apologized profusely. He was a quiet, unassuming Chinese guy with glasses and a below average grasp on the English language.

He told me that while he was walking to class, a guy in front of him was shot multiple times by a man in a nearby parked car, which then sped off. He claimed that he rushed over to the man, and attempted to attend to his wounds along with another bystander, but that he died before the ambulances arrived.

My first thought was, that’s ridiculous. But then I noticed his shirt, jeans, and forearms covered in blood. Before I had a chance to really say anything, he beelines it to the exit and leaves. A couple hours later, out of curiosity, I Google’Toronto shooting death’ and sure enough, there’s a 14-minute old article describing a fatal shooting that occurred earlier in the day, not terribly far from campus.

The next day, I get an email from the course instructor, informing me that the student had submitted a police report to confirm his involvement in the incident. Motherfucker held a man in his arms as he died and still made the effort to come to class. I can’t even imagine what that guy was going through, as he quietly sat in the back of that room.

Shoutout /r/UofT, that’s why he made CS POST and you didn’t.”

 

I told you! Gold!

The post Teachers Crack Us up with the 15 Best Late Excuses They’ve Ever Heard appeared first on UberFacts.

While filming Pirates of the Caribbean…

While filming Pirates of the Caribbean in London, Johnny Depp received a letter from a local 9 year old girl, who asked for help with “munity” against her teachers. Depp turned up with no warning at the school in full Jack Sparrow outfit, but advised against munity. 00

This Is How Much Teachers Make in Each State

If there’s one thing most everyone can agree on in these extremely divisive times, it’s this: teachers in America don’t make enough money.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

We’ve recently seen teachers walkout and protest to demand better wages in Arizona, Oklahoma, and North Carolina, and hopefully lawmakers will pay attention and increase pay for educators across the board. A website called howmuch.com compiled the states from coast to coast and made some handy maps detailing how the average salary for teachers in each state for elementary, middle school, and high school teachers.

Photo Credit: How Much

Photo Credit: How Much

Photo Credit: How Much

The national average for teachers across the board is $49,000 annually. Obviously, wages vary depending on the region where a teacher works. New York leads the way in pay, and Alaska, Connecticut, and California round out the top four.

h/t: Mental Floss

The post This Is How Much Teachers Make in Each State appeared first on UberFacts.

In 1948 in the US, pregnant women…

In 1948 in the US, pregnant women were not allowed to be teachers in 57% of public school districts because “the sight of pregnant women would unfavorably influence students” and because “pregnant teachers’ minds would not be on their work.” 00