15 People Share the Best Instant Karma Stories They’ve Ever Witnessed

Whether you believe in karma or not, it’s tough to ignore all the evidence in its favor. Treat people well and the world usually goes in your favor. Treat people badly…and you’ll get yours.

Folks on AskReddit offered up the best times they’ve ever seen instant karma in action.

1. Seagulls FTW

“Was buying some drinks at a circle K one day while visiting someone in Florida and these old tourists cut us in line, all the while complaining and yelling loudly about everything, how expensive everything is, how crowded the beach is, it’s too hot, etc. they are also really rude to the cashier and take forever arguing about the price of the hot dogs they were buying or something. They leave and as we walk out we witness a seagull come and snatch the guy’s hot dog right out of his hand. His wife then shrieks and proceeds to drop hers out of surprise.

I know it isn’t that big of a deal but it was so hilarious watching that happening that I still remember it 5 years later.”

2. What a weird coincidence

“Happened while visiting NY. I watched someone bend down to pick up a wallet someone ahead of them had just dropped. All of this was going down in the crosswalk and I was in the passenger seat with my dad driving. Guy A who picked up the wallet began run it to Guy B who was already across the street and while doing so, his wallet fell out of his pocket and on the sidewalk/crosswalk area.

Some dude in the bike lane rode up a little ways ahead, bent down, and picked it up and just started heading off. Just grabbed it and began to ride away like a bunch of cars hadn’t just watched him. My dad was about to say something when a cop car adjacent to us swerved in front of cycler and made him give it back. Cycler bumped into the cop car and was trying to go around when he was tackled. I think they might’ve arrested him but he light changed so we couldn’t stick around.

Coolest instant karma I’ve ever seen.”

3. Road rage

“Saw some lady road raging hard at slow traffic going over a dangerous mountain pass. She was trying to run people off the road trying to get around them. I’ve never seen anything like it, she could’ve killed someone. Saw her getting forcefully arrested by like 6 cops at the bottom of the mountain on the other side. Face-pinned to hood and screaming.”

4. That’s what you get

“My wife was jogging, and a man starts driving slow and cat calling her. Doesn’t realize it’s a red light and rear-ends a truck, totally destroying his Prius. Cop was stopped at the same red light and saw the whole situation. Cop laughed and asked my wife to fill out a witness statement.

it was a busy street, so when I say “driving slow,” I mean he slowed down while passing her, probably hit the lady in the truck doing about 35 in a 50.”

5. The warm fuzzies

“We were driving home late from work one night, (both bartenders, maybe midnight). We live in a small community, and we were at the 1/4 mile section that goes from 55, to 45, to 35, to 25.

A giant lifted truck decided that he wanted to continue going 55, he was UP OUR A**, brights on, so close you couldn’t even see his bumper. It was like his lights were in our car.

Pretty much 2 seconds after one of us said, “Where’s a cop when you need one?”, a deputy passed us going the opposite direction and immediately flipped a b**ch and pulled him over.

Still gives me the warm fuzzies. F that guy.”

6. Drunk

“Drunk guy at the bar started yelling at the bartender for cutting him off. Called her B and whore multiple times and then tried to scoot his bar stool back. Instead it caught on the carpet and he fell backwards like a tree falling. It made a very audible thud and of course, everyone stops what they’re doing to look. He laid there for a minute, got up and stumbled to the door as everyone continued to stare at him. Definitely never saw him again.”

7. Hope it bit him, too

“A guy kicked a dog and ran full speed into a brick wall as the dog chased him.”

8. Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do…

“I was waiting at a red light to cross the main street of my town. My light goes green, so I start driving, at the same time a truck to my right starts going. I hit my brakes to avoid hitting him, and this kid is looking at me like I’m the a**hole.

As soon as he’s clear, I finish crossing, and I see lights starts flashing. He ran the red while being directly in front of a cop.”

9. Traffic karma

“Saw a guy yelling at another guy in traffic, the guy that was yelling continued to speed off and got pulled over by a under cover cop car on the side of the road.”

10. Jerk

“Watched an entitled angry man abuse and belittle his server to the point of tears. Then he hitched up his belt and looked pleased with himself as he swaggered off the restaurant deck, tripped on the stairs, and face planted in the sand on the beach. (This was a vacation in Fla.) My wife looked mortified as I laughed right out loud at the guy. He got up, saw everyone staring and at least one person openly laughing, and quickstepped off down the beach.”

11. Mall cop revenge

“I work at a movie theater. One afternoon I was selling tickets at the box office when an older lady came up and asked me a question about our app (it’s a Cinemark app).

I, however, wasn’t sure about the answer and told her that. She proceeded to say, very rudely, “isn’t is your job to know??? Are you stupid or something?”

Then, she turned around and noticed the mall cop was writing her a ticket for parking in a handicap spot when she did not have a handicap plate or placard. She took off running screaming “wait stop! That’s my car!”

I couldn’t keep the huge grin off my face for the rest of the day.”

12. Broken down

“One day a few years ago I was grabbing McDonalds near work to eat something last second before my shift. It was one of those two lane microphone deals. I blatantly finish ordering before the other lane before he stomps on the gas to cut me off.

His car breaks down right there, and I get to take my rightful turn in line.”

13. Laid off

“See, I work for a staffing agency. I’m a recruiter. Pretty small team and this was actually another recruiter on my team that this happened to.

My co-worker was working with this guy who was pretty sharp. He was a programmer. His company was doing layoffs but he was told he wouldn’t be affected. My co-worker contacted him, chatted about the situation and he said he would be interested in looking around. We just had a new client give us a position to help on that fit his background. We lined up an interview pretty quickly, he interviewed and got the position! Great. It was even a little salary bump. Straight direct hire, no contract stuff. He goes in, works his first week. All is great, all smiles.

Well, that next Monday shows up and he isn’t there. The company calls us asking where he is, so my co-worker calls him. He answers the phone and my co-worker asks “hey, is everything okay? You no call no showed today over at XYZ company.” And the guy proceeds to tell us “Yeah, I never actually quit my job. I just took vacation for the week to see if I liked the place. It was okay but I’ll just stay here.” My co-worker responds “Man, is there anything I can do? This puts us in a tight spot, this is a brand new customer of ours, can I do anything” and the guy tells us “Quite frankly I don’t give a shit what kind of position it puts you in nor do I care if they are a new customer. I’m staying, don’t call me again.” And hangs up the phone.

He got laid off the next week.”

14. Don’t cheat

“The washers and dryers in my apartment building are run through Bluetooth and an app you download on your phone. I figured out that if I put my phone on airplane mode while simultaneously pressing the start button on the machine, the washer would start but I wouldn’t get charged. I was so proud, tried the same thing on the dryer and it worked. Went to get my clothes out of the dryer an hour later and everything was covered in melted Hershey kisses.”

15. Made a believer out of him

“I hit my girlfriend in the forehead with a spinning fidget spinner. She chased me, I jumped on my bed, and my ceiling fan smacked the living **** out of me.

She was on the floor laughing for a solid 5 minutes.

I am a firm believer in karma now… or maybe just idiocy on my part.”

The post 15 People Share the Best Instant Karma Stories They’ve Ever Witnessed appeared first on UberFacts.

10 Parents Dish on the Biggest Losers Their Kids Have Dated

Parents care so much for their children and their safety, so it makes sense that they’d never want to see their kids date anyone who they deem less than spectacular. But the reality is, your kids are gonna date all kinds of losers/weirdos/freaks, etc. It’s just the way the world works.

And if you’re feeling bad about your kids’ dating choices, maybe these stories from AskReddit users will make you feel a little better.

1. Drop out

“My little sister dated a guy who kept trying to convince her to drop out of a UC school and move into his mom’s garage.

It took way too much effort on my dad and my part to get her to put the kibosh on that relationship, mostly because the guy’s mom thought my sister was good for him and tried to fight us on it.”

2. Sounds like a keeper

“My daughter dated a guy who was a crappy, lying, lazy, abusive, gaslighting a**hole. Besides that, he 1) dropped out of high school at 14; 2) never attempted to get a GED/diploma equivalency; 3) had more than one conviction for public intoxication/underage drinking/drunk driving, which left him 4) “unable” to get a job for approximately 18 months of the about 2 years they were together; 5) got fired from Walmart after only working two weeks, for missing work because his kid supposedly was victim of an abduction attempt (turns out the kid made it up); 6) smoked weed in her apartment bathroom, knowing that if my daughter failed a drug screen her career would be ruined; 7) had his two kids every other weekend, but spent the entire time with headphones on, gaming, meaning my daughter had to watch his kids or they’d destroy her apartment;

8) would only eat corn or potatoes, hamburgers or chicken fingers, or pizza, but fast food was A-ok; 9) never picked up after himself, so every horizontal surface was covered in half-drunk pop cans, fast food wrappers, cups and bags, dirty plates, moldy food (daughter is an RN and worked 12-hour shifts, which is sort of an excuse); 10) punched a hole in her apartment wall; 11) held a gun to his own head, then laughed at her for taking him seriously; 12) constantly accused her of cheating, so she had to unfriend all males on her Facebook, including her father; 13) threatened to leave when her anxiety and depression had her sleeping anytime she wasn’t at work; and 14) when she finally took him up on his bluff it was during a terrifying food-throwing, soda-hurling, furniture-smashing temper tantrum that had her grab her cats from under the bed and come to my house 50 miles away.

I could go on, but remembering all that is turning my stomach. In cleaning her apartment afterward, we had to wash the walls from where he had done a Hollywood-style sweep of the coffee table top, spraying Dr. Pepper all over the carpet, TV and stand, wall, and canvas art, all the way to the ceiling. Then for good measure he smashed the coffee table.

He was a complete tool and with the help of a therapist she is finally getting back to the funny, intelligent, confident girl she was before he messed her head up. I am thrilled I don’t have to dread that phone call…you know the one, where she was calling to say he’d beaten her (there would have been a long line of people wanting to pull his ballstrings up through his throat, believe me), or worse, one from a coroner.”

3. Dumbass

“My sister dated a guy who lied about being a Navy Seal. Apparently there is like a whole community of people who do that, just go around unemployed living on ??? telling their SOs when they disappear for weeks at a time that they were “deployed.” It never made any sense to us, and she broke up with him for other reasons and gets really pissed off if anyone mentions the relationship happened.

He was a creepy dude who took advantage of her trusting nature and that she was at a low point in her life, and I regret not doing more to call him out on his obvious bull. He’s still in the area doing God knows what, probably trotting out the same crap to new women. I hope one day he gets his ass beat by a real Navy Seal!”

4. A**hole

“My sister is currently married to a controlling a**hole. He leaves jobs and accepts others out of state without consulting her, forcing her to leave medical practices on short notice. She is now working for the Feds and he has just done it again. She has been trying to get a transfer but he’s telling her to quit now. Her career is in shambles because of her poor job history of leaving places on short notice. Plus she’s gained about 200lbs and this guys legs are purple and about to fall off because he doesn’t believe in diets. She wants kids and he has one already and is refusing to have another (Thank goodness) but she is depressed and unhappy. She refuses to leave him, citing her age as an excuse.

He has insulted my family in front of me and has tried to bully my husband and I. When that didn’t work, after I yelled at him, he told her she wasn’t allowed to talk to us anymore. He has cussed out my mother over the phone, and ridiculed every last one of my family members. I don’t currently speak to her, because I cannot stand to hear all of the shitty things he does. My mother has very little contact with her as well, I’m not 100% on the exact reason but I suspect its not far from mine. I have told her she is welcomed to stay with my husband and I if she ever wants to leave him. No matter what time day or night I will book the plane ticket and replace anything that she cannot bring with her.”

5. Loser

“My sister dated a guy, lets call him Tom, who worked under my dad at the business he owns and runs. Now I’m not saying Tom was a loser because worked for our family, my sister and I both work in similar positions and thats how they met. But there were a number of instances that just shouted “Hey whats up I’m Tom and I’m a loser.” For example, Tom seemed to never have any money, usually blaming things like his rent being to high or his car needing to be worked on.

Due to this my sister ended up having to pay for the majority of the dates and dinners that they went on. In reality, he had spent most of his money on unnecessary toys like Dirt bikes, guns, and modifications for his 1999 Honda civic. His spending habits got so bad that his landlord threatened him with eviction, this tore my sister up, not because he was getting evicted but because she knew that he was making enough money to never be in that type of situation.

Anyway, Tom got the bright idea to ask her and my father for the rent money ($650) while they were out to dinner. My dad ended up helping him out so he wouldn’t go homeless, but what he didn’t know was that Tom had asked him for more money than what his rent was so he could go out and spend it on other things other than my sister. So yeah he was a loser and I didn’t like him much.”

6. Not too bright

“My really quite intelligent daughter once dated a lad who didn’t know the difference between the sun and the moon. Not joking. Ages – My daughter was 18 and the lad was 20

He thought the moon glowed because it was the same as the sun, ie a ball of nuclear fire. Although I imagine he knew it wasn’t as hot. He had no idea at all that the moon was reflecting light.

He came from a family of people who saw very little point in education. His mother had never worked, none of his family worked, he didn’t work.

He was actually a nice lad, but difficult to converse with due to his very low level of education.”

7. Con man

“My sister dated them all! My favorite was a guy who convinced her to have joint bank accounts and stole 6 months worth of pay from her. We didn’t know until after the relationship. The dude was a major con man salesman type that had like 4 different get rich quick schemes while they dated.”

8. Well, that’s over

“My sister dated this d**khead that would make her cry about once every 2 months. He posted something to Facebook that had a picture of a notebook and something like “If you come home and expect your husband to work around the house, your going to have a bad marriage.” Inside the book. She broke up with him just a month ago.”

9. Poor dog

“Not my kid, but my brother. He dated this crazy possessive chick who once buried one of his shirts because another girl complemented him on it in front of her. She also totaled his car after lying and saying she had gotten her licence back. She gave $400 to a fake iPhone scammer website Western Union because, “they are a legit company, I saw pictures of their warehouse and everything.”

I googled warehouse, the picture on their site was the first one that came up. She even paid $100 more to “expedite through customs” when the delivery didn’t arrive when expected. And the pièce de résistance she killed his dog, she left Excedrin PM on the coffee table and he chewed up the bottle. By some miracle no pills got out and crisis averted, it was explained to her that the pills would be fatal to the dog. She bought another bottle and left it on the coffee table again this time dog ate half the bottle and his kidneys failed, sucks because he was the sweetest/ smartest dog I’ve ever known.

TLDR: Bro dated a girl that killed his car and dog”

10. Scary

“My sister is married to a guy who has two swastikas tattooed on his back… nuff said.

Edit: He got them while in prison when he joined the aryan brotherhood. He definitely isn’t Buddhist.”

The post 10 Parents Dish on the Biggest Losers Their Kids Have Dated appeared first on UberFacts.

These 7 Random Facts Will Make You a Smarter Person

Here are a few questions for you. When does your feeling of impending doom actually have a high chance of being right, and why might that also be really bad news for you?

What industry paid Harvard scientists to blame cardiovascular disease solely on saturated fat?

Are you trustworthy? Do you cuss a lot?

All this and more in today’s bag of Fact Snacks:

#7. Swearing keeps your filter open.

Photo Credit: dyk

Sources: 1, 2

#6. There’s a bar for after the bar in Amsterdam.

Photo Credit: dyk

Source

#5. When that feeling of dread is real…

Photo Credit: dyk

Source

#4. The Nobel champion is in Paris.

Photo Credit: dyk

Source

Photo Credit: Quartz

#3. Harvard shilled for Big Sugar.

Photo Credit: dyk

Sources: 1, 2

#2. Canada and Denmark have a ‘whiskey war.’

Photo Credit: dyk

Source: 1, 2

#1. Powdered wigs hid syphilis.

Photo Credit: dyk

Source

Want more Fact Snacks?

We’ve got a whole book full of them:

Photo Credit: Amazon

Hundreds of your favorites facts, such as:

  • Your pupils dilate when you’re looking at someone you love.
  • Octopuses are older than dinosaurs.
  • Caffeine withdrawal is officially a mental disorder.
  • The only breed of dog to be mentioned by name in the Bible is the greyhound.
  • Your heart is so powerful that it can squirt blood 30 feet across the room.
  • Dr. Seuss’s first book was rejected 27 times.

Buy it now on Amazon:

Did You Know?: A collection of the most interesting facts, stories and trivia…ever! (Volume 1) Paperback

Did You Know?: A collection of the most interesting facts, stories and trivia…ever! Kindle Edition

Or keep digging into more lists like these:

The post These 7 Random Facts Will Make You a Smarter Person appeared first on UberFacts.

Kids of the ’80s and ’90s Share Their Favorite Slang Terms They Wish Would Make a Comeback

Do you have any favorite slang terms from the 1980s and ’90s that you wish would make a totally tubular comeback? Personally, I’ve always been a big fan of “Psych!” and hope that’ll make a comeback sometime soon. I’m going to start using it, at least. These AskReddit users definitely do…

1. Inspired by Heathers

“What’s your damage?”

2. Nothing wrong with that

“I still say Rad. And get crap for it.”

3. Cool kid

“My 3 y/o is watching the 80s/90s cartoon and he’s taken to saying “let’s boogaloo” when he wants to go somewhere.”

4. Maybe?

“Do people still say wicked? Because this is a wicked good thread.
Also solid.”

5. Oh God, no!

“One of the primary directives of the mid-90’s
was to avoid being (or being accused of being)
a poser.”

6. Good one

“That’s tight.”

7. Gnar-dog

“Gnarly.”

8. Yes!

“Tubular.”

9. A pretty sick burn

” “If you love it so much WHY DON’T YOU MARRY IT” “

10. TMNT

“Kowabunga.”

11. Just do it!

” “Oh snap” is one I’d use again.”

12. One of the best

“Homie don’t play that – When you talk about something you refuse to do or accept.”

13. Boom

“I liked psych/sike.”

14. Very popular at one time

” “Suck it!” while making the Degeneration X cross on your crotch.”

15. Bring it back!

“Saying something is “the bomb”. I miss it.”

The post Kids of the ’80s and ’90s Share Their Favorite Slang Terms They Wish Would Make a Comeback appeared first on UberFacts.

These 5+ Facts Will Really Make You Think

Hope you’ve got your thinking cap ready, because these 7 facts are going to put that mind of yours to work.

But they’re all extremely solid, so 7 is the perfect number for you. Enjoy.

1. Avert your eyes

Photo Credit: did you know?

2. A true hero

Photo Credit: did you know?

3. They blew it

Photo Credit: did you know?

4. A different take on a classic

Photo Credit: did you know?

5. Interesting…

Photo Credit: did you know?

6. Vader plant

Photo Credit: did you know?

7. This is wonderful

Photo Credit: did you know?

The post These 5+ Facts Will Really Make You Think appeared first on UberFacts.

12+ People Share the Most Horrible Thing They’ve Ever Done That They DON’T Regret

We’ve all done something in our lives that has brought us feelings of regret. Maybe we meant to do it, maybe not – but what’s important is that we use those feelings of remorse to make ourselves better people.

Unfortunately, some people didn’t get the memo. In this AskReddit thread, 15 people reveal the worst things they’ve ever done that they don’t feel the least bit bad about. This should be interesting…

1. Mother

“I refused my mom when she said she was going to be homeless if I didn’t give her money. She said she would be sleeping on a bench if I didn’t help her. I told her to get warm blankets. It was hard. The next day she checked herself into rehab.”

2. Payback

“Girl systematically bullied me at college so I reported her boyfriend for staying over in student accommodation, he wasn’t allowed back, they broke up because of the distance and I convinced her it was one of her friends that reported her so she became paranoid of everyone around her”

3. Puppy thief

“Stole a puppy from a yard in a really bad part of town because it was being neglected and abused and had a 99.9% chance of getting run over eventually. I’d spoken to the kids in the yard before and even offered to buy it but they said no. They gave me their other puppies (which I adopted into great homes) but they wanted to keep this one.

So one day in passing on my way to work, the puppy was in the street. I scooped it up and started taking a new route.”

4. Headbutt

“I ‘accidentally’ headbutted this girl in the face at a concert. It was a busy gig so people were bumping into people and dancing. She decided to start punching the back of my head and shoving me. I asked my cousin to push me into her and I stuck out my head to make sure it hit her. I then turned round and apologized.”

5. Time to learn a lesson

“My friends and I know someone who is notorious for having no money when we are out at a bar. One night, I saw him out and offered to give him a ride home trying to be nice. He says cool. When we go to leave, he tried walking out and manager stopped him and told him he hasn’t paid.

I told him okay we will wait, but he says to go and he can catch a ride with our friend Mark. Well Mark left 10 min before us so he’s screwed (he banks on Mark to buy him drinks.) But whatever, I leave.

Of course he called me on my way home and is begging for money. I didn’t go back for him and he had to clean the bathrooms at the bar and a bunch of other stuff. He then had to walk home at 3 in the morning for a few miles, but he needed it.”

6. Out the door

“Abandoned a pregnant lover. I was very worried that it was mine, but when it was confirmed not to be I ended it immediately. She didn’t cheat on me; she was newly pregnant before I came along and didn’t know. We were developing something, but I’m not even considering getting involved in that for half a second.”

7. Wow!

“Two kids I hated in class got into an argument and started side-kicking at each other. Like, it was really nothing, but the teacher sent them both to the office. Since I was sitting next to them, I got called into the office to fill out a witness report. Since I hated both these guys, I greatly exaggerated the situation and both kids ended up getting suspended. This was during the last week of school, so neither of them would be able to take their finals, and because of that, they failed and both of them ended up having to repeat a year.”

8. No remorse

“Dropped a shot-put on a kids thumb in primary school. He got in trouble for everything and didn’t give a sh!t if he was suspended. None of the teachers authority or disciplining meant anything to him. We were supposed to clean out the sports shed and he was f*cking around and being useless, just laying on floor arms outstretched refusing to move. I was carrying the shot-puts to another shelf and told him to move.

He stayed on the floor.

I held the 3kg weight above his hands and threatened to drop it (I wasn’t actually going to, just hoped he would move) he called my bluff and narrowed his eyes and said “do it” and in that moment I though “f this kid” and dropped it on his thumb. He never bothered me again.

I got detention and was forced to apologize but I had no remorse.”

9. Classic!

“I put laxatives in the football players water cooler mid game because they took over the field we were practicing on for soccer. They had to forfeit the game and canceled the next two weeks of games/practices. I might have went a little overboard but oh well.”

10. No regrets

“I ended contact with a guy that has Aspergers. I’m usually easy going and nice, but this guy just rubbed everyone in our friend group the wrong way. He was edgy for no reason and would force conversation on topics that only interested him.

Things came to a head when he got creepy with one of the girls, and commented how he imagined shooting the other one while playing Call of Duty. Line crossed. We were done with him and told him to get lost. He begged us to forgive him, claiming he had:
“Aspergers and I’m depressed, I didn’t know that was wrong.”

Bullsh!t, I’ve known plenty of people with mental ailments that don’t do what he did.

Then for some reason he became fixated on me, like I was the one that could get him back into the group. He just would not leave me alone. I refused to give a single thought to him. Then he started saying I was going to regret it if I didn’t get him back in.

I have family members with schizophrenia, and drug problems. I’ve heard these threats before. The friends were freaking out, but I convinced them not to. You can’t yield to these manipulative tactics. Because that’s what it was. Manipulation.

I told him in response: “I would pity you. But I won’t feel guilty. That’s your personal problem.”

I put it out of my mind. Whether or not he did, I didn’t care. I refuse to have my life jerked around.

About a week later: “Why can’t we be friends?”

Blocked him across all media. No regrets.”

11. Speed bump

“I lived on a street where commuters regularly drove 40 to 50 mph with a 20 mph speed limit making it dangerous to pull out of my driveway or my daughter to walk to school. One day the town finally put in speed bumps to slow down traffic. That night I removed the newly planted sign that said CAUTION SPEED BUMP AHEAD. Several cars were damaged when they went speeding over the bump.”

12. Dad

“I cut my abusive father out of my life and didn’t answer his calls or texts even after he’d been diagnosed with cancer and given only 3 months to live.

That bastard did chemo and surgery and is still alive years later. I haven’t talked to him since but my stepmom keeps tabs on him and will occasionally, unasked, tell me something about him.

Sorry, not sorry Dad. You shouldn’t have been a selfish, emotionally abusive asshole. Then maybe you’d have a daughter who gave a shit about you.”

13. Out of my life

“I cut my grandmother out of my life. She was emotionally abusive and extremely manipulative, and I got fed up with it after she tried to blackmail me and started lying about me. This is the same lady who served an eviction notice alongside my birthday card, had my cousin arrested and her kids taken, and talks crap about the decent side of the family. My grandfather warned my mom to get away once he died, and his dying words were literally tell my grandmother to shut up. Leading to that point she had his will changed while he was not mentally fit. I hate her. I always will. But it’s apparently necessary I care since she is 1/4 of my genetics. Nope.”

14. Telling on Pops

“I told my mom that my dad was still cheating on her.

They’re in counseling right now, and he promised he’d stop talking to his online girlfriend. I was in the car with him and saw him texting her. So I told my mom she ought to check her bank account.

Sure enough he is still sending this chick money (he’s getting scammed).

He is using my mother’s paycheck to send this girl money… f*ck that shit. I regret nothing except the hurt my mom feels towards him.”

15. Brutal

“Broke someone’s shin. It was accidental, we were playing hockey in school and I misaimed, hit her as hard as I could instead of the ball, she wasn’t wearing shin pads and you can see where that ends… She was in hospital for a while, then on crutches for months, into the next school year actually. Meant she had to drop being in the netball team, think it screwed up her holiday plans, stuff like that. Nothing that’s ruined her life, but not good stuff at the time.

She was a bully, and a b*tch and I did not like her. She had a charmed life, her brother was one of the most pleasant people you could know so it wasn’t upbringing, there was just something wrong with her emotionally. She and her friends derived enjoyment from mentally and emotionally torturing other people, including me and my few friends. After that, they left us all alone and our school lives were peaceful. It was accidental, I’m too short sighted to have actually been able to distinguish her features during sport (didn’t wear my glasses), but I assume they had some doubt as to whether I had exacted revenge for years of pain.

Tldr: caused my bully pain and made her and all of her friends scared of me, gave me and my friends reprieve from dreading being in school.”

The post 12+ People Share the Most Horrible Thing They’ve Ever Done That They DON’T Regret appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Employees Look Back at Their Most Intense First Days on the Job

The first day at a new job is always a stressful experience. You want to make a good impression but you also need to ask a million questions. It’s a lose-lose.

Add in a whole lot of pressure/incompetence/etc. and it makes for a memorable and stressful day.

These AskReddit users shared their stories of intense first days at a job. Hang on tight.

1. Toodles!

” “Okay so I know this is your first day at a fast food restaurant but I got to get back to the register, hope you know how to use a deep fryer. Toodles!”

F you Galven!”

2. That’s not good

” ‘Well, you’re on the crew, now. Here’s your pager but don’t worry, there probably won’t be a fire for a whi-‘

beepbeepbeepbeepbeep

‘Well, damn.’ “

3. Tragic

“First day of my EMT clinicals and I’m sitting in some parking lot really excited for my first call with a 911 out of Los Angeles. Waiting for about 3 hours and we finally get a call. It’s a unknown so we end up getting to this residential in some neighborhood and we’re the first on scene, cool no problem. I’m the first one through the door while the two other EMT’s get the stretcher and code kit following behind me. I’m standing in these peoples living room who Ive never met before and out comes this guy holding a blue 3 month old girl and I just stood there frozen.

Can’t really describe what it felt like but I can tell you it shook me to my core for a second. Training kicked in and thankfully the more experienced EMT’s took control and soon after the Paramedics showed up and ran the code. 3mo old didn’t end up making it. Whole call lasted about 15 minutes probably but felt like an eternity. Huge respect for the Paramedic who lead the call that day. Telling a mother and father that their baby isn’t going to see her first birthday has got to be the worst part of the job. Took a lot for me not to cry and all I had to do was stand there and try not to get in the way. Watching the mother pull the intubation tubes out of her lifeless daughters nose will probably stick with me for awhile, along with how pretty the little girls hair was.

It was brown and surprisingly long for someone as young as her. It seemed crazy to me how we were just supposed to continue our day after that and pretend everything was ok. I remember ordering food at a fast food joint no 30 minutes later thinking what the hell just happened. Before I knew it I was on my way to the next call. Just gotta suck it up and continue working I guess. I was 19 at the time and I like to think a lot of me grew up that day. Huge respect to all men and women in EMS who suck it up everyday and put the patient first. Overworked and underpaid but always willing.”

4. Thrown right in

“First rotation through the ER as an imaging student theres a code call I had no idea what was going on, my tech (teacher) looks at me and says “You had to pass CPR to get in here right?” I just look at him blankly and say um yeah? he responds “Good you then me.” Next thing I know I am in ER 1 (trauma room) with about 20 other people doing CPR on a woman as the doc does his best. Two people before me the doc calls time of death. My tech and I go back to our little x-ray room and just go on like someone didn’t just die in front of me on my first rotation.”

5. Rough day

“I was overlooking a job site where a very expensive rock saw was cutting a 20ft deep trench initially in what should have been – as surveyed – a solid limestone bed.

My new boss at the environmental consulting firm let me know there was nothing that could possibly happen, that I needed to be there for the initial cut, and that it would be the easiest day of work I had ever had. Boss leaves for a different work site.

Couple hours later the saw begins it’s first cut and it breaks through an ancient clay sewer line that was directly underneath the giant saw machine. The machine sinks about 7 ft into the ground.

Best part, the operator gets out of the saw, walks over to me, the site manager, and the other official individual and says – “it was like that when I got here” gets in his truck and we never saw him again.”

6. Probably sold out of booze

“First ever pub shift was during an England world cup game this summer, every shift after that was easy!”

7. A test

“Started a job at a machine shop at a time when I was more or less 40% of the way to being a full fledged machinist who could do everything, just to boil it down really simply without getting into trade specific qualifications and experience. My resume was accurate and reflected my marginal knowledge and experience, and noted interest in progressing into more difficult tasks that I had not yet been given the chance to take on.

My first day, the lead man gave me zero instruction, put me on a machine I’d never run, and asked me to do something I’d never done before. I quickly informed him that I had absolutely zero experience on a machine like that, and zero experience setting up and writing a program for the type of part he wanted me to create. He said, “That’s ok, just do your best to figure it out.” He then explained that he and the boss had to leave and go to some meeting with a client, and that they’d be back at 5pm. I asked if there was anyone else in the small shop that might could help me get this done, and they said that there wasn’t, the other guys had no experience with this machine or part.

So I stated once more, for the record, that they were asking me to do something that I was not qualified to do and once again, he said, “Don’t sweat it, just do your best.”

I spent the first couple hours just reading the manual for the machine and experimenting with the unfamiliar controls and coding. The next couple hours I spent trying to figure out a way to setup the strange and large part in the machine. I had never even used the old school toe clamp fixturing they had available, but figured out how to use it, and eventually got the part securely in place and ready to machine half of the features the blueprint called for.

The next couple hours were spent reading the manual more and digging into the coding, and eventually finding some “conversational” types of canned cycle programs where I could design toolpaths by inputting several parameters and spitting out code that would run.

Two hours later, I had a part that was roughly 1/3 of the way completed. I performed 2 operations on the first “side/setup” and would have needed to run one more on that side, and like 3 more on the next side/setup. I double checked that everything had been run to the print, and it looked like I at least had a partially done good part that could be finished, so I felt good about that. But I still felt like I failed because it took all day and I couldn’t even do what they asked me to do.

They came back, and the lead and boss came over and kinda raised their eyebrows when they saw me and started laughing and chatting amongst each other. Turns out, it was just a test that nearly everyone fails for one reason or another.

I failed, but they said that in the past several months, they had 8 new hires that simply gave up and left, spent all day begging coworkers to do the work for them, spent all day in the bathroom and/or on their phones, and one guy who got pissed off and crashed a machine intentionally. They were so pleased to see that I not only didn’t run away, but tried my best and actually got something done without fucking anything up, they gave me a $2 raise on the spot and later bought me a really nice toolbox.”

8. Heart racing

“I worked on a suicide hotline for a year. My shift was a weekday afternoon, so supposedly it “wasn’t too busy.”

My first shift came immediately after finishing the mandatory training period. I had four calls in a two hour period, one of which needed emergency intervention. I think my heart raced through the rest of the night.”

9. No training

“First day after my orientation night at my current job…the guy ‘training’ me shows where i am supposed to work (which machine) then walked off without showing me how to do my job.

He did this for 2 weeks before other people noticed and he got strung up by his balls (metaphorically). They gave me a new trainer and a week later i was doing well enough they ended my training early, normally its 6 weeks, i had 3 weeks, and 2 of those were spent messing stuff up because i didn’t know what to do.

they already asked me about training other people because we have half the crew we are required to have by company policy and I’m already better, after less than 2 months (started the third week of July) than many of the people who have 2-5 years at this job…its not a hard job…these people just suck…”

10. INTENSE

“My first ever call as a volunteer was for a four car accident after a high speed chase on a remote stretch of the Pacific Coast Highway. Patients with limbs sheared off ejected fifty yards into the brush, Medivac helicopters one after another, brush fire from a truck that exploded, and units everywhere from CalFire, CHP, Sheriff’s Department, State Park Rangers, and Forest Service. I saw my first fatality declared while preparing to load them onto a helicopter.

Still haven’t (and hope I don’t have to) respond to something like that again but it did inspire me enter the medical field so I can be as much help as possible when it does happen..”

11. Through the ringer

“I have a couple. I worked several long term sub jobs before getting a permanent job in special ed. First story- I worked with kids with emotional disorders for a couple weeks. Day 1 a 1st grader called me a c**t, threw a full trash can at me, stole a scooter and ran off campus where he started peeing on things at the school next door.

2nd story- Working in mod/severe. A 10yo kid with cerebral palsy bit me on the hip while I was changing him. Literally as the aide was saying “By the way, sometimes he bites.” The kid and the aide then proceeded to laugh hysterically. I was pissed at the time but then I got bit once a year for 5 years straight(by different kids) and it doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore.”

12. Get up there

“First day of fire department training, when I was 16, run the 100′ aerial platform to full vertical…. “OK kid, see how far you can climb.” “

13. Doesn’t like clothes

“I baby-sat all the time in high school. Your first day with a new family can be a little tricky, because kids know the baby-sitter has no real authority over them and you have to develop a good rapport immediately if you want any hope of getting the kids to bed somewhat on time. (At least in my town.) But my little sister is six years younger than me, and all my previous jobs were watching her classmates and their siblings. So I had the advantage of already knowing the kids, and hadn’t dealt with anything too difficult.

Then a couple from church hired me. They knew me from “Crib Room” (place where your infant/toddler can hang out & be supervised while you listen to the sermon) and their daughter liked me because I build amazing block towers. But I’d only interacted with the girl for an hour on Sundays, in a room filled with other children. I didn’t have the same rapport with her as I did with my sister’s classmates. And I didn’t know her older sister, “Jenny,” at all. I was going in blind.

I show up, the girls seem pretty amicable, they like that I’ll go right into imaginary games with them, aren’t freaked out that Mom & Dad won’t be home for a few hours. It looks like everything’s gonna go smoothly.

The parents start to leave. Just before he shuts the door, the dad says, “Oh, just to let you know, Jenny doesn’t like clothes.”

Latch clicks.

I whirl around.

Jenny’s butt-naked.

Baby-sitting with your eyes shut is really difficult.

Eventually I was able to establish rules like, “Underwear is mandatory unless you’re using the bathroom.” But it took a while.”

14. What a way to start

“My first day of hospital clinicals in nursing school was pretty intense. It was a pretty easy start to the day; I got assigned a COPD patient in his early 80s, and he wasn’t supposed to have much going on that day besides a CT scan. After going through his chart and doing an initial assessment, I helped take him down to CT. the machine required him to lay flat on his back (which is harder on patients in late stages of COPD than sitting up), with his arms raised.

He was hooked up to oxygen the whole time so the tech assumed he’d be okay, but once we left and got back to our floor, we both simultaneously noticed the guy was gasping for air, and his lips were turning blue. We hurried him back to the room, call a code, and watch as this guy goes into respiratory arrest (he was just a tech and I was just a student, so we really hadn’t been trained for this).

Help arrives, and my patient’s actual nurse is nowhere to be found, so nobody in the room besides me knows anything about this guy. So I had to fill the doctor leading the emergency response in on all of this guy’s information and the situation, which was terrifying. And all during this, my clinical instructor kept walking by the room making weird, goofy faces at me. The guy lived, but wow what a way to start clinicals.”

15. That’s a lot of calls

“I started two jobs at the same time and the first weekend I supposed to work the morning shift by myself at this hostel I missed my alarm because I closed as a hostess at this restaurant the night before at 1 am… so I wake up at 7:30 am with 25 missed calls from my new boss and when I called him two minutes later he told me he was outside my house and would take me to work when I was ready. Lmao literally nuts but turned out to be a really good guy.”

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7 Fascinating Facts About All Kinds of Interesting Things

You look like you could use some more information in that awesome brain of yours!

Get ready to get smart!

1. You must laugh

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2. Are you one of them?

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3. Injured

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4. It never ends

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5. He liked the sauce

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6. Well, that’s just great

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7. Chase the cheese!

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12+ of the Weirdest Things Doctors Have Ever Found in Human Bodies

When you’re a doctor, you see a lot of strange sights. I mean, the human body is weird – and that’s before all the horrible things that can go wrong with it.

In this article, 15 doctors/medical examiners/morticians share the strangest things they ever found in bodies.

1. Horrifying

“A mummified foetus – I was working in Africa and the usually very stoic Congolese surgeons called me in to theatre, gagging – the patient was an elderly woman with a protruding abdominal mass. When they opened it, they found that it was a long, long dead mummified foetus which as a result of an ectopic pregnancy, had somehow managed to both wall off after it died and somehow avoid killing the mother. Her body had encapsulted the alien tissue and over the years, it had slowly eroded her anterior abdominal wall to the point where it finally caused her to have enough symptoms to get something done about it.

It was horrific and the smell was worse.

Happily, though, the patient survived the procedure and just left the surgical team with a .. memory.”

2. Black goo

“In my anatomy lab, my groups’s cadaver had died from systemic complications of stage 4 lung cancer and when we got to the lungs they were two rock hard, necrotic blackened masses that looked nothing like the other cadaver’s pink and spongy lungs.

My anatomy prof took one lung out and wrung it resulting in this putrid black goo flowing out of the lung.

As he was draining the lung, he mentioned…

“This. This is what happens when you smoke” “

3. How’d that get there?

“Weirdest thing was in a woman’s intestine- a dead mouse.

Tiny little thing…. obviously never got the chance to ask how the mouse got there as this was post mortem. Definitely unexpected though…”

4. A tough situation

“She isn’t dead, but this week i saw a patient with endometriosis in her lungs.

Somehow, womb-lining cells had travelled to her thorax and colonised on the lung. She previously had symptoms of coughing up blood while menstruating, but because the endometriosis was so severe, was on the pill to stop her periods entirely.

Then she came off it to have a baby, and after the birth, with her hormones all over the place, she developed two pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in the lung), and a few weeks after that, three successive pneumothorax (collapsed lung). The womb cells had tried to shed, and made a hole between the airways and the sac surrounding the lung, letting air escape.

She’s deciding now whether to let the surgeons cut out the part of her lung with the endometrial cells, to go back on the pill for life, or to have a full hysterectomy and remove her ovaries. Tough choice at 32.”

5. Very rare

“I was a combat medic in the Army.

Not super super uncommon (about 1 in 10,000 people have it), but I had a buddy with situs inversus. All of his major internal organs were reversed (heart on the rights side instead of the left, for example). As soon as he got to the unit, it was the first thing he told me. Wanted to make sure if he got hurt I wasnt curious as to why he had no heart, I guess.

Edit to say: Had to look up the name and how uncommon it is, because it’s been a few years since I got out and he’s literally the only person I’ve ever met like that. I was honestly surprised at how common it actually is, I figured it’d be more rare.”

6. That’s odd…

“My colleague was embalming an autopsied male and found two hairnets, numerous plastic tissue sample slides, a plastic urine container (with another person’s name on it) and over twenty seven latex gloves within his abdominal cavity…”

7. Sounds awful

“Doctor here, general prac and young, so not many experiences.

I had this kid (8) and his mother come to the ped triage about a cold.

As soon they came in they filled the room with stench, like a wound festering, that humid and rancid smell. Kid had a runny nose, but secretions were coming from a single nostril. Upon examination we found the sinusal cavities filled with cotton.

Apparently the kid had this funny idea of stuffing one nostril with cotton and shoving it up inside with a stick as far as he could. We had to call the specialist to remove a lot of VERY deep cotton that was of course a picnic field for bacteria.

Kid probably isn’t going college but he won’t be lacking new ideas.”

8. Don’t see that every day

“One of our cadavers had two spinal cords, aka split spinal cord malformation.

Edit: just a first year med student here folks. Unfortunately it’s against our school’s policy for me to even take photographs, yet alone share them. One of our groups during our laminectomy (removing the back of your vertebra to expose spinal cord) lab, once they cut into the dura mater (the tissue that wraps around the spinal cord) noticed a spit cord in the in the thoracolumbar region, side-by-side. Our lead anatomist was very excited to see this and had the whole class come see. Apparently it’s not the most incredibly rare thing, but it is the weirdest anomaly I’ve seen thus far.

Edit 2: So a lot of people are mentioning Spina Bifida. From what I understand in my studies, that would be the result of bones in the spine not forming correctly. This was not what we saw. There were no signs of prior surgery or herniation of the meninges.”

9. Fix me up

“Pretty memorable to me. I’m a doctor was working in OT (anesthesiology)

An emergency came in the afternoon. Apparently the patient is a fisherman and got into a fight with his fisherman friend.

Patient was impaled by a spear gun. The spear entered just lateral to his belly button and came out just above his right hip.

He actually held this 6 ft long spear going through his body and walked into the emergency room by himself. When it was time to put him under he wasn’t scared /anxious. He said “just fix me up so I can go find that guy”. “

10. Probably should’ve mentioned that

“Young man comes in complaining of headache. I work in radiology.

We ask for history. Nothing to report, he says.

We scan his head. CT shows a bullet rattling loose inside his sphenoid sinus (kind of between the nasal cavity and the brain).

I asked the guy: “Have you ever been shot in the face?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that.”

Edit: Okay this blew up. To clarify, the guy had been shot in the face a few years earlier, never sought treatment for it. The bullet had somehow missed all the vital structures.”

11. Yikes

“When my mom was a mortician, I would hang out in the mortuary watching TV. Her boss showed me a guy who had retained water and drowned. His balls were the size of a grapefruit. Not the most pleasant thing to see at age 15. When you poked him, he moved like a water bed.”

12. Whoops!

“In med school I had to do a pelvic on a woman during my EM rotation and found a meth pipe. She forgot she put it there during a traffic stop.

I also had to remove a nail from a guy’s head. He figured it must’ve went off while reloading. He had intractable tooth pain, so he got sent by his dentist for a CT and low and behold there was a nail in his cranium.”

13. No idea

“Father owns a crematory, we once cremated a man (with no clothes and not in any container) and along with his ashes came a massive belt buckle. I kid you not, we have no idea how it got in him but it was definitely there.”

14. Never noticed

“ER nurse; man comes in after a car accident, we do a brain scan for safety and find a 3 inch nail imbedded in his brain. Ask man about it, he says he has no idea. Admits he was once shot with a nail gun but HAD NO IDEA A NAIL HAD BEEN LODGED IN HIS HEAD. Had been there for well over 4 years. Edit: originally said 6inch, meant 3.”

15. He really loved the game

“Here’s another weird one… 3 golf balls in a mans stomach. His cause of death was lung cancer. Still trying to figure out how he ate golfballs/how long they were in there considering he was on life support for 2 weeks before he died.”

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15 People Reveal the Strangest Experience They’ve Had with a Friend’s Parent

Did you ever go over to a friend’s house when you were younger, only to discover that their parents were a bit…odd? It’s an awkward situation for sure, and these 15 Redditors share their tales.

1. Thank you?

“One time I’m at my friend’s house and his father comes up to me and he asks if I want anything to drink. I politely ask if I could have a glass of water. Dead serious he responds with ‘oh sorry I don’t think we have any water. Would you like some pasta instead?’ Thinking its some kind of joke I say sure. He goes into the kitchen and comes back a little later with a drinking glass full of spaghetti and hands it to me before going back to what ever he was doing. Needless to say, I was quite confused.”

2. Hi there

“I was coming back from the annual county fair with a childhood friend and his cousin, heading to my friend’s house. Unfortunately I got really sick at the fair and was sprawled out in the back of my friend’s cousin’s car trying my best not to puke everywhere. (It didn’t help that we live out in the mountains so the drive was unbearable)

Out of desperation for my stomach pain to pass, I didn’t even turn on the lights when I got to his house and literally fell onto the bed in the dark only to find his dad under me snoring.

Apparently my friend’s dad was staying up waiting for us to get home and fell asleep on his bed. I obviously woke him up and he freaked out, turned on the lights and yup he was in his underwear.

When he saw it was us he laughed at the situation but it was definitely one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. I’m just glad I didn’t throw up on him.”

3. Accused

“I practically lived over at my friends house from my mid to late teens. They were a devout Pentecostal family and his dad was treasurer of their church. I go over to their house, walk in and both parents are immediately in my face. “DID YOU STEAL MONEY FROM US!!” Someone broke into their roll top desk and stole $2k from the church funds. They accused me, then the mother broke down and started crying.

Sitting on the couch, hands in her face balling. Then they all started praying for the return of the money. Then they prayed over me for guidance to do the right thing. I thought, WTH! What they didn’t know was that their son, my friend, had his eye on a $2k Nikon F3 camera for a few months and his parents wouldn’t buy it for him. What really blew my mind was he bought the camera and they never suspected him of stealing the money. And he never apologized to me for it.”

4. Sad

“I was friends with this boy and we would go to his house after school and his mom would watch me til my mom was done with work. Well one day we get to his door and there is a note on it saying we need to go to my house. The weird thing was that there was loud music coming from inside…

We went to my house and waited and my step dad and mom came home soon after.

My mom obviously found that weird so she ran over there and come to find out his mom tried to commit suicide. It was really sad but she seemed to have gotten help and gotten better. But it was an experience I would never forget.”

5. Bummer

“Senior year of high school, I asked out a girl right before school ends for the summer. She said she wanted to stay friends. Bummer, but at least I’ll never kick myself for not trying. I was still invited to her graduation party at her house so I went, as I also enjoyed being friends with her regardless of any romance. At the party her dad met me in the kitchen and patted me on the back saying “Bummer about her saying no. If it was up to me you’d already be my son-in-law.” Not sure how to respond I awkwardly laughed and said thanks. Not 20 minutes later he walked into a shed outside and asked us teenagers if we wanted to see a magic trick. He then proceeded to pull a dove out of his pants. A living, breathing dove.

The guy was/is one of the nicest people I’ve met, but I never knew what he was going to say or do next.”

6. Creeper

“I was best friends with a girl from grade 4 to grade 7. A few years ago I ran into her parents at my brothers birthday party. The Dad got super drunk and started hitting on me hard. I’m married and I was there with my young children. It was at my brother’s house and the guy’s wife was right there! Even then my brother still had to come save me.”

7. That’s uncomfortable

“I was in the 6th grade and had just started going over to my best friends house for the weekend. His dad was sitting on the ledge for the fireplace bumping Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani on repeat for a good 45 minutes.

Edit: a few times he did go around that track.”

8. Remember?

“My lifelong friend’s dad is a nurse practitioner. When I was 19 I lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time, so I went in to see him. He gave me a rectal exam. I’ll occasionally get a, “Hey, remember that time my dad stuck his fingers up your butt?” from my buddy.”

9. That’s a no

“A dad of one of my friends kept urging me to come over and sit in his hot tub with him. My friend wasn’t there at the time.

..yeah, no. No.”

10. Drunk mom

“We picked up my friends mom one night at a bar cause she was drunk and on the way back she kept yelling “I’m not going to sleep with you you!” But yeah that was the strangest 1 hr ride of my life.”

11. That’s weird

“In high school, my friend was dating a guy and we both were invited by him to his house. His mom was super mean though and acted like us being there was awful. I rang the doorbell and was invited inside by the mom. I was there for an hour and had to go outside to get something out of my car. I came back inside and heard “UMEXCUSEME!” “I’m sorry, yes?” “You didn’t ring the doorbell before BARGING into my HOME.” “Oh I’m sorry, uuuh…should I go back outside?”

“We wait to be invited inside in this house.” I went back outside and the door was closed on me. I rang the doorbell and heard the Mom say “Who is it?” “Hi it’s Rustmutt here to see your son.” “Just a moment! opens door please come inside.” Turns out every time you leave the house even for a second she expected the pageantry of a first invite.”

12. In it for the money

“A friend’s father was absolutely convinced that I was only friends with his daughter for money. They weren’t exactly rich, maybe a tiny bit better off than we were, but it was impossible for him to know that. When her Dreamcast needed a new cable after one of her pets chewed through it, he came storming into her room while we were hanging out and demanded to know why I thought he would buy me something.

My friend had to jump in and explain that it was her cable, not mine. He’d complain if I spent the night because he had to feed me, like I was a stray cat. It was incredibly weird. The worst part is he made extremely inappropriate jokes all throughout dinner when I was there. I was maybe 14.”

13. Dope head

“In 4th grade, my best friend lived just down the street from the school so we would regularly go hang out there after class. Her mom was a dope head and her step-dad was a drunk and routinely during sleepovers we would hear them having very loud sex. My friend told me one day she had found a huge orange vibrator in her mom’s room and then explained to me what, in fact, that was. A couple weeks later we walked over after school to find the house littered with bright orange shreds…the family boxer had found her mom’s vibrator, too.”

14. Porn

“Friend’s dad who I was building a website for, and thus was in contact by email seemed to accidentally forward a PowerPoint with a bunch of super generic adult videos copy and pasted into it, being shared by like 30 correspondents.

What it appeared to me was a bunch of old very not tech savvy guys thought copy and pasting porn into a PowerPoint was either the most efficient, or the most discreet way of sharing porn, and somehow I accidentally got added to the list.”

15. Man talk

“We were white water rafting in Maine. I was in a truck with my friend, a different friend’s dad, 2 ~ten year old boys going to the pickup spot at the end of the rafting route. I’m in the passenger seat and the dad is driving. I was about I was about 17 at the time, and the topic of “being a man” came up. He talked about how sometimes you just need to follow your dreams. We’re all listening at this point.

He then tells us this isn’t his first life. Told us he moved to the west coast when he was real young and started a family. Wife, kids. He said liked them decently enough but he wanted to get more out of life. So one day he went out to pick up some milk and never went back. I don’t know how the kids in the truck took the story, but my friend and I were pretty WTF the rest of the trip.”

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