People Share Why They’re Still Married, Even Though They’re Not in Love With Their Partners

Relationships can be very tough. They are a lot of work and when you’re in one, you go through many phases and emotions. In short, it’s a bit like a roller coaster ride but with your emotions and very slow.

And sometimes, you fall out of love with someone but you stay with them anyway.

Folks on AskReddit shared their stories about why they stuck with people even though they weren’t in love with them anymore.

1. So I stay…

“I honestly don’t know. Because it’s been more than 25 years and it’s just easier to live as roommates than to go my own way, even though in a lot of ways that would be easier.

Additionally, she would be royally fucked in so many ways. No real income, no place to really go. She wouldn’t be able to afford a nice place. I’d be perfectly fine but she’d be in a world of hurt. I don’t necessarily love her but I don’t hate her enough to do that to her.

So I stay.”

2. Sounds like a disaster.

“She had me convinced everything was either normal or my fault. Then she cheated and is playing the victim because I read some of her messages after I found out she lied. Now it takes a year to divorce where I live so technically still married for a year… Anyone reading this for personal reasons…Just get out.”

3. We don’t mesh.

“We have a special needs daughter, who doesn’t talk. Until she’s able to tell me that something happened and she can understand more complex ideas and situations, there’s no way I’m putting her in someone else’s hands.

My husband and I just don’t mesh, he doesn’t like me and I don’t like him. For the most part we can get along and even have fun doing things together with our daughter. But we haven’t been intimate in years. We’re both in our late 30’s. And we reasonably don’t have family to help.

Although once she starts going to school full time, I believe I will have more options to do something financially productive with my time.”

4. Manipulation.

“I’m thankfully not in this relationship anymore, but out of fear that he’d do something to hurt himself. He threatened to do it when I first brought up that I wasn’t happy in the relationship, and he became incredibly manipulative.”

5. Feeling guilty.

“I was the one super in love. I don’t think he was. Once every 4 or 5 months, we’d have some sort of discussion. The last time, it was that he didn’t know if what we had was love. I should have seen that as a warning. But I convinced him to stay with me after an hour discussion.

I think he felt guilty. I stayed with him through suicide attempts, drug induced psychosis, and moved countries for him. I imagine he felt an incredible amount of guilt, and stayed with me because of that. I think he cared for my well being maybe. But he wasn’t in love. And it’s painfully obvious now that I’m out of the relationship.”

6. Together they’ll stay…

“My brother can’t stand his wife, hasn’t really been in love with her since about a year before their wedding. He talks about divorce to me when we’re alone but he’ll never do it. He thinks he’ll never meet anyone else being 32 with no social life. Plus there’s a strong possibility she might kill herself if they broke up, or at least attempt it. So together they’ll stay. I just hope they don’t bring kids in to it.”

7. Terrified to leave.

“I was in a pretty bad relationship when I was younger. I stayed because I thought nobody else would love me. He was incredibly abusive and would remind all the time that if I left nobody would ever care about me or love me like he does.

I was just so terrified to leave, what if he was right? It’s been almost ten years since that relationship and I’m happy to report that he was wrong, although it’s taken a lot of work to realize that and I still have fleeting moments of doubt.”

8. Building a life together…even if it’s ugly.

“Years back I was in a relationship with a woman who abused me physically, sexually and otherwise. And I did not love her, not for the last year or so when the abuse got bad. So why did I stay if it was so bad?

Well, unfortunately—and this is true for abusive relationship as well as for mundane loveless relationships—people get wound up together and then it becomes very difficult to imagine your life without them, even if it’s not a good life. I guess people are better at surviving the current hardship than breaking away into the unknown. There’s a lot more to my story, and everyone story has its own details.

But I think that’s the basic answer. You build a life with someone, it gets hard to throw that life away.”

9. Mutually beneficial.

“Neither of us experience attraction but we still care deeply for each other. He’s my best friend!

Also the marriage was mutually beneficial.”

10. Jackpot! Maybe not…

“In my first relationship I thought I had scored the jackpot. I was young and he was young and jacked and smart. He over glorified himself and I just couldn’t see that. I looked up to him as a god, mainly because he kept saying I was bad at my studies and cooking and basically everything that I love to do.

I thought I would never get someone better so thus I stayed. I thought I loved him, I thought that was what love was, but I was just proud that I had gotten someone “so amazing.” I was stupid.”

11. Makes sense.

“I loved her dog.”

12. Fear and loathing.

“I’m no longer with them. But was with her for 8 years. I never loved her but stayed because of a combination of self loathing and she relied on me for everything so I was afraid of what would happen if I left.

Also financially I couldn’t live on my own. But I bit the bullet anyway because I can figure out the rest and staying with her was only stunting her ability to learn how to be an adult.”

13. Finally came to your senses.

“I was afraid he’d kill himself because he was so depressed so I waited till he was a bit better mentally.

The second was more of a roller-coaster. I waited 5 months before breaking up because so many things came up. I didn’t want him to think I was obsessed with the number 3 so I couldn’t break up after 3 months. Then it was summer break so I couldn’t see him and i wanted to do it in person. Then his birthday. Then Christmas! I finally broke up in Jan….. And then get back in April because I genuinely fell for him again. We lasted 3 years before I realized I was the only one putting any effort into staying in the relationship and finally broke it off for good.”

14. Ready to be single…

“I love but I’m not in love with my girlfriend anymore. We moved in together too soon. I knew better and did it anyway.

We are completely incompatible living together I’m angry everyday at tons of stuff. But I’m not gonna throw her out cause I do care so I’m helping her save to get her own place and we are playing couple in the interim but I am so ready to live alone and be single again.”

15. Taking care of her.

“She’d probably be homeless. I’ve been trying to help her become more independent and responsible so I can find a clean exit strategy. Interestingly if she had those qualities maybe there would still be some attraction. No one wants an adult child to take care of.”

The post People Share Why They’re Still Married, Even Though They’re Not in Love With Their Partners appeared first on UberFacts.

March 4, 2019

15 Married People Share The Quirks Partner Has That Aren’t Cute Anymore

When you first start dating someone, your passions are aflame and everything your significant other does seems so adorable. The way they sneeze, the way they hang their towels, the way they place certain items.

Once you start settling in for the long haul, however, those quirks start getting a little less endearing. Suddenly, the fact that they always wake up grumpy isn’t cute – it starts looking like grounds for murder.

Here are 15 awesome examples.

#1. Minecraft mistakes.

“She doesn’t take precautions playing Minecraft. It was funny seeing her wooden house burn down, or her losing all her stuff digging straight down.

But since I ran the server, she would keep asking me to go to use my admin powers to get it all back. A lot.

She also still sends settlers unescorted in Civ V (I just triggered all civ players, sorry). Other than that she is still perfect after 10 years :D”

#2. Get to the verb.

“He can not tell a story. Rambling, unnecessary details, and the listener is three steps ahead the entire time, just waiting for it to slowly unspool.”

#3. Forgetfulness.

“His forgetfulness used to be cute and fun. Waking up to fresh gallons of milk sitting on the counter for hours is annoying as fuck now.”

#4. Hair.

“Her hair. She has such long, beautiful hair, but it gets everywhere. Drains. Sinks. Carpets. I’ve had to sit and cut hairs out of the vacuum so it would work again because it had tied up the roly bit. Not to mention I’ve had her hair on me and all through my clothing.”

#5. A bag of magic beans.

“His spontaneity.

It used to be really fun and sexy…but now it’s like living with a real life Homer Simpson/Phil Dunphy hybrid.

No joke, I am just waiting for the day he comes home with a bag of ‘magic beans’.

Edit: I’ve had a lot people asking for more stories of my husband doing crazy shit.

I think my favorite is: on our first date we got caught in a rain storm. I was wet to the bone and wearing a skirt…so he offered me his pants.”

#6. My way’s better.

“First off, still very happily married and in love! However, there is one thing that does cause a ruckus every now and again. When we were dating and living together, we would do diy stuff around the house. I know a little past the basics because my dad made sure to teach me things and of course there is always youtube, so I’m not helpless by any stretch. In fact I owned several of my own power tools before we got together.

When doing one of these projects, he often wouldn’t let me do much. Back then I thought, “What a gentleman, doesn’t want me to get dirty.” or whatever. Nowadays I’ll be watching him do something and know a better way of doing said task, and it’s like he doesn’t believe me. So he’ll try 18 other ways before landing on the way I suggested and it working out just dandy. It’s pretty frustrating. I can do more than hold something while you work!

It’s not a deal breaker, but sometimes I let him know just how stupid he was acting, and how much time it wasted by not just trying my way first. Even if my suggestion doesn’t work, what did you lose?”

#7. Slow eater.

“Takes forever to eat a meal. It was very well-suited to long dates, romantic dinners, those intense getting-to-know-you conversations at the beginning. 15 years later and I just want to have a meal where I’m not done before he’s barely taken a bite!

His whole family is like this and I simply don’t understand. It’s food, you put it on a plate and you eat it and go on with life! Not for them, mealtimes often stretch on for hours, occasionally into the next bloody meal if it’s a family event. I just don’t get it.”

#8. NOW?

“My husband always tries to make me laugh. I honestly hope he never stops trying, but there are times when it’s like “really?? You’re trying to make me laugh NOW?!”

#9. Some pedantic loophole.

“Debate with me. At the beginning it was great because I felt like I met my intellectual equal. Now I realize she’s just a disagreeable person. I’m 90% sure if I told her the sky was blue, she would find a way to dispute my assertion with some pendantic loophole

EDIT: ok people, it feels like half of these responses came from my wife. I just double checked out the window, the sky is definitely blue. Do you want to know what shade of blue? SKY BLUE!! Explaining WHY it’s blue doesn’t make it not blue. Baaaah!!”

#10. More than me.

“Not married, but engaged and have been together for almost 5 years now? Everyone likes her. She’s a very likable person, but my friends and family like her more than me. Just gets to me sometimes when she tells me something about a friend or family member that I should have heard from them.”

#11. A choral piece.

“Her having to sing everything like it’s a perfected choral piece.”

#12. He needed me.

“In the beginning he used to really need me and he always required a LOT of attention.

I loved it, at first.

I loved to feel needed and I 100% absolutely loved to lavish him with my adoring attention endlessly…

I was absolutely devoted.

Fast forward 15 years…

I feel used up and taken for granted.

He has never reciprocated, our relationship has always been strongly one way.

His behaviour was exactly what I wanted and needed – at one point.

Now it’s just something that upsets me. A lot.”

#13. Bathroom stalking.

“Constantly watching me in the bathroom. It was fun at first, we always make/made jokes. But now there are times I just want to be left alone to shit for fucks sake.”

#14. Clumsy

“Clumsily break things accidentally. It’d be a teaspoon one day or a shoelace the next. Little insignificant, ‘how-on-earth-did-you-manage-to-break-that?’ type of things. Started out quite cute and amusing. Now it’s a case of ‘Babe, that’s like the fourth vacuum cleaner this year, and it’s a fucking Dyson.’”

#15. What’s for dinner?

“Her indecisiveness. It was adorable to see her struggle when we were dating but goddammit I’m just trying to figure out what to make for dinner.”

The post 15 Married People Share The Quirks Partner Has That Aren’t Cute Anymore appeared first on UberFacts.

December 31, 2018

Artist’s Adorable Illustrations Reveal the Hidden Side of Relationships

The prospect of a long-term relationship brings up pretty mixed reactions from people. Particularly for those who are single, long-term relationships might seem like a perfect romantic experience where couples sit around and cuddle and feed each other grapes all day. But anyone who’s actually been in a long-term relationship will tell you that that’s just not the case. Sure, there are tons of amazing moments that you’d never trade in a lifetime, but there are also plenty of others that aren’t as picture-perfect as Rom-Coms might have you believe.

But don’t just take my word for it. LA-based artist Amanda Oleander has been documenting the lives of couples behind closed doors and her work is way too relatable. She’s been dating a man named Joey for the past three years and is very open about how much their relationship has influenced her work. “Before I met Joey if anyone told me their love and relationship was like ours I wouldn’t believe it,” Oleander said in an interview with Bored Panda. ” It’s nothing less than amazing. We can’t get enough of each other.”

She went on to say that, “[She’s] enthralled by the way people behave behind closed doors, intimate moments we never get to see. Those are moments that can’t really be documented because if they were, it would alter the way the person behaved. So I draw them.”

You can check out some of Amanda’s work below.