It’s About Time to Normalize Therapy for Men

These days we could probably all use some therapy.

Life is hard, and it seems like people who do have a therapist tend to find the experience very helpful.

Getting started can be difficult though: making that first phone call, finding the right person that you connect with.

It can be daunting.

And in general, men are a lot less likely to seek out therapy as a coping mechanism than women are.

That doesn’t mean they need it any less.

Image credit: Guillaume de Germain via Unsplash

In fact, the stigma surrounding men and therapy has become something of a joke on social media, with users posting all the things men will “literally” do instead of therapy:

It’s a funny sort of commentary on current events:

But all jokes aside, it can be a real problem.

As LifeHacker explains:

The idea that men must be strong in the face of mental distress is deeply entrenched, leading to higher rates of substance abuse, homicide, suicide, and a lower life expectancy than women in the United States and beyond.

Instead, men are often left drifting, finding their own ways to cope.

People have all kinds of reasons for seeking or not seeking professional help.

A person with anxiety, for example, may be too anxious to reach out.

Reluctance to seek mental health assistance can affect anyone, of any age or gender.

So why the emphasis on the gender gap? Because some of them are culturally ingrained.

A lot of men’s reservations about therapy today are rooted in archaic notions of masculinity. The outdated conventional wisdom hoists men up as paragons of emotional stability, who are expected to be wage-winners and protectors of the family. That notion endures, coloring the aversion that lots of men have to talking about their problems in present day.

The way I see it, men are conditioned to believe that not being self-reliant is a sign of weakness. Women, on the other hand, are taught that being self-reliant is a display of strength. It’s a subtle nuance, but an important one.

It means that for men, even the slightest hint that you might not be able to do it on your own, asking for help, is a sign of weakness. Whereas for women, advocating for yourself, asking for help when needed, is seen as contributing to your own self-reliance, and therefore to your strength.

So what’s the solution? London journalist Edward Clowes explained it perfectly to LifeHacker:

“The framing of therapy for men should never be about being broken and needing fixing.

Men should look at therapy the same way they look at any other act of self-improvement.

Like going to the gym but for your mental health, instead of your physical health.”

Well said!

Image credit: Brooke Cagle via Unsplash

And that’s just it. We all need training and conditioning to be stronger. We all need a little help sometimes. There’s no shame asking for it.

What do you think? Should we normalize therapy for all, including men?

Tell us in the comments.

The post It’s About Time to Normalize Therapy for Men appeared first on UberFacts.

Someone Summarized All the Self-Help Books into Steps We Can All Follow

Everyone is looking for that certain key to success, that one thing that will make life easier, better, and more fulfilling.

That’s why the self-help industry has boomed, not only in recent years, but honestly, for all of human history.

But all those books can basically be boiled down to a few timeless, solid pieces of advice.

Self-help books are published by the fistful, with a new one really seeming to take off every decade.

There was The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People of the 1980s to Who Moved My Cheese? in the late 90s, and on to the woo-woo mysticism of The Secret in 2006, and don’t forget Girl, Wash Your Face from just a few years ago.

To save you the time of reading widely, here are 11 important lessons from the self-help canon.

1. Do unto others…

Seems like obvious advice, but honestly, it’s true.

No one wants to work with a jerk.

Image credit: Ryunosuke Kikuno via Unsplash

2. Don’t rush to judgment

Like your mom always told you: Don’t judge the book by it’s cover and all the other sayings you can think of about behaving with a level head–especially where other people are concerned.

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3. Embrace adversity

During one workplace motivational event we were told, “Embrace the suck,” and this philosophy is pretty solid.

Disappointment, challenge, and hardship will happen.
Prepare for them, expect them, and then–overcome them.

Instead of pretending everything is fine, admit that it’s not, and move on.

Image credit: Daniel Velasquez via Unsplash

4. Perfect isn’t possible

Perfectionists are constantly disappointed.

Or worse: They hold themselves back because they’re too afraid to try.

Image credit: Jonathan Hoxmark via Unsplash

5. Think positive

If you can dream it, you can do it.
If you can conceive, you can achieve it.
If you can see it, you can be it.

There is something to be said for these axioms. To find success, you need to focus on the desired result, and work backwards, and sometimes: rewire your brain to cut out negativity and just believe.

Image credit: Josh Reimer via Unsplash

6. One small step for man…

Many self-help books are about the power of forming healthy habits, because baby steps can add up to big things.

And repetition is the key.
(Maybe that’s why there are so many books on the subject.)

They say it takes something like 3 weeks to form a habit, and 3 months to turn a habit into a lifestyle.

Image credit: NASA via Rawpixel

7. Play can be powerful

Whether it’s recharging because we’re all burned out by working from home, or simply to spark creativity, the experts say that play can be a really important tool for becoming your best self.

Me, I’m rediscovering Lego.

Image credit: Kelly Sikkema via Unsplash

8. Take care of your body, take care of your soul

You can’t be your best self or do your best work, unless your most basic needs are met.

Humans require food, water, sleep, exercise, companionship, and security before they can devote much energy to self-actualization.

Image credit: Kaylee Garrett via Unsplash

9. Live like you’re going to die

It’s pretty simple. We have a limited number of days. Don’t squander them.

Remembering that your time is finite can give you an incredible sense of purpose.

Image credit: Danica Tanjutco via Unsplash

10. Make a list–check it twice

We have too much going on in the world to keep it all in our heads. So get organized.

Make a plan, write it down, and then remember the 3 D’s: Do it, Defer it (schedule it!), or Delegate it.

Image credit: Daria Nephriakhina via Unsplash

11. Most importantly: Do the things

You can make all the plans you want, but at the end of the day, you have to do the hard work.

There are no shortcuts.

Image credit: Brett Jordan via Unsplash

Many of these ideas weren’t new to me, but it’s always nice to have a refresher.

Personally, I’ve been trying to let go of perfection and embrace play. Which rules could you focus on?

Let us know in the comments.

The post Someone Summarized All the Self-Help Books into Steps We Can All Follow appeared first on UberFacts.

This is How You Can Apply the Five Love Languages to Yourself

Writer Jessicah Pierre brought a lot of joy to people recently with her Twitter thread on the “love languages” and how we can apply them to ourselves.

The concept of the five basic love languages was first pioneered in the early 90’s by author and minister Gary Chapman. In his book The Five Love Languages, he outlined different ways that people prefer to show and receive affection.

It’s a framework that has dug its way into the culture as a helpful guide to recognize each others’ needs, but can it be applied to our day to day, even when we’re alone? Jessicah thinks so:

Here’s her rundown of each language and how you can apply them to yourself to improve your mental health.

1. Words of Affirmation

Talking to yourself isn’t crazy. It’s a totally normal way to process thoughts.

2. Acts of Service

You’d be surprised how much you might appreciate it if you help you out.

3. Quality Time

Don’t just rush around constantly.

4. Physical Touch

There’s an obvious NSFW answer here but this is good too.

5. Gifts

Treat yoself.

Basically:

When you lay it all out like that, it seems so simple. And yet, how often have any of us thought in these terms?

A very helpful reminder that we’ve already got a lot of the tools that we need to stay hearty and happy. Just gotta get ourselves to use them once in a while!

How do you take care of yourself?

Tell us in the comments.

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14 Times Therapy Actually Revealed Mind-Blowing Truths

A lot of folks tend to look down on therapy, but the fact of the matter is that it’s honestly helpful for just about anyone. Being in therapy doesn’t mean you’re “weak” or “crazy,” it just means you take your mental health seriously. What’s more, therapy can sometimes reveal inner truths that you might not have come across otherwise (or at least not as quickly).

Today we present 14 people who had some genuine breakthroughs in therapy that helped change their outlook. So, naturally, they shared on Twitter. Because that’s what we all do now.

It’s kind of like group therapy, right?

Making way for your better half…

Friends and “Friends”

The only constant is change!

Wrong person. Right time.

Someone pls pass tissues. Currently dead.

Just because it’s unknown, doesn’t mean it’s bad

If not you, then who?

With a capital T!

Renew yourself, fam!

Always check yourself…

Sometimes you just have to let it go

How much do you love yourself?

Isn’t it always that way, tho?

Time is precious after all…

 

I have that same problem about being direct and not caring who it hurts, so that one really hit home.

Great advice Lula! Thank your therapist for me! ???

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