Here are Some Church Signs With A Sense Of Humor

For many churches, the best way to add new members is with an old-school marquee sign. You just put up a welcoming message, add a brief Bible quote, maybe tell everyone when the pancake prayer breakfast is, and bingo. Just sit back and watch the new members roll in.

But there will always be churches that take the road less traveled. Today we’ve got a selection of church signs that weren’t afraid to try out some comedy on the general public. Some of them are genuine laughers, others will have you wondering if Father Mike has been hitting the communion wine, but all of them get kudos for trying.

1. At least they’re honest.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

2. If you screw up God’s preferred trail mix ratio, you will burn in hell for eternity.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

3. Ever been slut shamed by a sign? Now you have!

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

4. Nothing’s funnier than forced religious conversion.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

5. Please don’t try to help, St. John’s Anglican.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

6. This is what happens when nobody refills Pastor Joel’s Prozac.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

7. And this is what happens when you put the youth minister in charge of the sign.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

8. Who says denying scientific fact has to be so serious?

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

9. I…can’t figure out what they’re trying to say.

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

10. “Actually, I was praying for cocaine. Sorry, shoulda specified.”

Photo Credit: So Bad So Good

There was no mention of Apple…

There was no mention of Apple as the Forbidden Fruit. Possible fruits include apple, grape, pomegranate, fig, carob, etrog or citron, pear, and mushrooms. There was a misunderstanding of – or a pun on – mălum, a native Latin noun which means evil and mālum, borrowed from Greek μῆλον or apple.

Manichaeism was a religion which…

Manichaeism was a religion which thrived between the third and seventh centuries, and at its height was one of the most widespread religions in the world. Briefly the main rival to Christianity before the spread of Islam in the competition to replace classical paganism.

Two Buddhists who bought £5,000…

Two Buddhists who bought £5,000 of live Crustacea and released them into the sea for good karma, were fined £15,000 for ‘untold damage’ to the environment by introducing non-native species.

Funny Tweets About Hanukkah From Parents

For those of you who celebrate Hanukkah, I’m sure you’re going to appreciate these jokes from parents about this special holiday.

Let’s get started!

1. Created a monster.

2. Eight days to go…

3. Interesting…

4. Uh oh…

5. The official mascot.

6. Good thinking.

7. Yeah…

8. That day is here.

9. A maddening pace.

10. It was only a dream…

11. Absolutely!

12. The way it was meant to be.

13. Mother of the Year.

14. Nobody’s perfect.

15. Lucky kid.

Happy Hanukkah, happy holidays, and have a great New Year!

The post Funny Tweets About Hanukkah From Parents appeared first on UberFacts.

In 1957 Little Richard saw a bright…

In 1957 Little Richard saw a bright red fireball flying across the sky, which he took as “sign from God” to repent from performing secular music and his wild lifestyle at the time until 1962. The fireball actually was the launching of the first artificial Earth satellite Sputnik 1.

Woman Who Wore a “Hail Satan” T-Shirt Onto a Plane Was Forced to Change It or Get Thrown Off

I would probably never wear a shirt like this, but we live in a free society where people can wear whatever they want, wherever they want…actually, never mind, this shirt is pretty cool and I admit it that I would probably wear it in public.

A woman named Swati Runi Goyal was recently flying from Florida to Nevada, and, not thinking of potential consequences, she donned a t-shirt that said “Hail Satan. Est. 666” for the trip. The shirt also featured an upside-down cross (for good measure).

But when Goyal boarded her flight, she was told by an American Airlines crew member that she had to change her shirt or she would be removed from the plane.

Goyal is a member of The Satanic Temple, and she bought the shirt to support the organization. Despite the name, the Temple is known for activism on such issues as the separation of church and state, religious freedom, and free speech. Goyal said, “It’s an ironic shirt. People usually laugh at it, or they give me a thumbs-up because they understand the meaning behind it.”

Goyal said about the incident, a crew-member “said, ‘Our crew has found your shirt to be offensive.’ We initially just thought it was a joke. But he repeated the directive, and there was another female crew member who was behind him with her arms crossed looking very angry.”

Goyal and her husband refused to get off the plane. She continued, “The man said, ‘Your shirt is offensive. Do you know what that means?’” I said, ‘I’m a foreign-born minority woman, I understand ‘offensive,’ and this shirt is not offensive.’”

A standoff ensued and the flight crew brought on a customer service agent to tell Goyal she would not be able to fly while wearing the shirt. Eventually, Goyal’s husband gave her a layer of the clothing he was wearing, and she reluctantly agreed to cover up the language on her shirt so the flight could take off.

Goyal said she was humiliated over the incident. “I’m just an ordinary-looking person.I’m not goth. I don’t have piercings. I wasn’t wearing a shirt that had a goat being beheaded on it. [I was] wearing L.L.Bean hiking pants and vegan sneakers. I mean, I couldn’t look like more of a nerd.”

After the flight, Goyal complained to American Airlines. The airline initially refused to apologize and sent an email that read in part that they “have policies in place to ensure that no passengers are subjected to objectionable situations while on board. Our flight attendants have a responsibility to all passengers in our care, and we must sometimes make difficult decisions associated with the application of our policies.”

After Goyal tweeted about her experience and the story went viral, the company said “Discrimination has no place at American Airlines” on Twitter. A spokesperson for the airline said, “We apologize to Ms. Goyal for her experience, and we are reaching out to her to understand what occurred.”

What do you think about this story? Share your thoughts with us in the comments.

The post Woman Who Wore a “Hail Satan” T-Shirt Onto a Plane Was Forced to Change It or Get Thrown Off appeared first on UberFacts.

A New Video Game Lets You Play as Jesus Christ

Try to stop this guy, forces of evil!

Are you ready to play a different kind of superhero in the next video game you become obsessed with? Well, this one might surprise you just a bit…

I’ve often wondered why there’s never been a video game based on the Bible. I mean, it would probably be interesting (especially if you’re religious or a history buff) – plus, there’s all sorts of awesome stuff that happens in there. And I’m sure it would be extremely popular, right?

A new video game (release date TBA) on Steam called I Am Jesus Christ is filling that niche; like the name says, it will allow players to play as the man himself. The description for the game reads as follows:

“Become Jesus Christ, the famous man on Earth—in this highly realistic simulation game. Pray like Him for getting superpower, perform famous miracles like Him from Bible like casting demons, healing and feeding people, resurrection and more in “I am Jesus Christ.”… Game is covering the period from Baptizing of Jesus Christ and to Resurrection. Have you ever wondered to be like Him—one of the most privileged and powerful people in the world?”

It seems like the description was not written by someone with native English fluency, so I’m guessing the design team is overseas.

Here is the official trailer for the game.

From the looks of the trailer, Jesus can perform all kinds of miracles: he walks on water, makes fish appear, the whole shebang.

Twitter users were all over the release of the trailer with various thoughts and observations (and jokes, of course)…

 

What do you think about this game? Will it be good or ridiculous? Or just plain sacrilegious?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

The post A New Video Game Lets You Play as Jesus Christ appeared first on UberFacts.

This Is the Traditional Reason Many Jewish Families Eat Chinese Food on Christmas

Have you ever wondered about this?

Ed Schoenfeld, the owner-operator of RedFarm, an Asian-fusion dim sum restaurant with two NYC locations, and Decoy, a West Village shrine to traditional Peking duck, compares his Christmas Day-business to a holiday miracle:

“I think on that day we do more business than many restaurants do in three months. We serve all day long, we stay open all day long.”

You might think that Jews opt for Chinese food while their Christian counterparts feast on turkey or ham because those restaurants are almost always open on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but culinary experts and food historians promise there’s more to it.

Many Jewish people developed a taste for Chinese fare as they left Europe for America between the mid-1800s and the 1930s. They settled into Manhattan’s Lower East Side, a cheap neighborhood that teemed with tenements, docks, and factories, but that also played host to synagogues and kosher butcher shops.

The neighborhood was next door to Chinatown, where many Chinese immigrants settled after completing work on the Transcontinental Railroad. As they sought out new business opportunities, many went on to open restaurants.

The Jews found community on the Lower East Side, but they also discriminated against by many outside their faith, says Sarah Lohman, author of Eight Flavors: The Untold Story of American Cuisine.

“There was a lot of discrimination against Jews at the turn of the century. They were often criticized not only for not dressing like Americans and not speaking the language, but also for not converting to an ‘American’ religion.”

That often wasn’t the case at the neighboring Chinese restaurants, though, as the owners and operators made little or no distinction between Christian New Yorkers and Jewish immigrants. Not only that, but the restaurants were nearby, they were inexpensive, and they gave Jews access to the American custom of dining out.

Yong Chen, a history professor and author, explains the concept in his book:

“Diners were attracted to Chinese food because, in their mind, it represented American cosmopolitanism and middle class status.”

In the process, many developed a taste and love for the food – and purposefully didn’t ask what was in it, so they could continue to pretend it was kosher.

Not only did they not have to worry about mixing meat and milk, but non-permissible meats, like pork, were often so finely chopped it could easily go unnoticed, Lohman says.

“You could kind of willfully ignore that there might be pork in there. It’s like a vegetarian eating a soup that has chicken stock. If you’re a little flexible about your Judaism, you would just ‘not notice’ the pork in your fried rice.”

Also, even though the food was exotic and new, many of the dishes and flavor combinations, like basing dishes around eggs or combining sweet and sour flavors, were familiar.

As Joan Nathan, author of King Soloman’s Table: A Culinary Exploration of Jewish Cooking from Around the World, recalls, “Chinese restaurants had these pancakes, which were like blintzes,” and also that the wontons resembled kreplach.

All of this, combined with the fact that the Chinese and Jews were both large immigrant populations and that Chinese restaurants were open on Christian holidays, bonded the two groups.

During the early 20th century, the number of Chinese restaurants grew quickly, with Jewish people accounting for 60% of the white clientele in NYC and Philadelphia’s establishments. By the mid-20th century, Chinese restaurants were basically the social clubs of Jewish communities – everyone left with their bellies full of food and their ears full of gossip, and nowadays, the hankering for Chinese food on Sundays (and holidays) has stuck around for many. As Ed Schoenfeld says,

“Jewish guests want to go out and eat Chinese food on Christmas. It’s become a tradition, and it’s extraordinary how it’s really grown.”

If you ask me, any day is a good day to eat Chinese – Christmas and Easter included.

The post This Is the Traditional Reason Many Jewish Families Eat Chinese Food on Christmas appeared first on UberFacts.

Grýla the Troll Eats Naughty Children on Christmas in Iceland

If you’re a bad kid who finds coal in his stocking instead of gifts, well…consider yourself lucky. If you lived in Iceland, you just might have been eaten by a troll instead.

Human-eating trolls feature heavily in many Icelandic myths, and during jól (Christmas season in Iceland), a Christmas troll named Grýla comes down from her mountain cave to gather all of the naughty children.

Then she hauls them back home to her lazy, nagged husband to turn into a holiday stew.

Stories of her antics have been around since at least the Middle Ages, and, according to experts on local mythology, Icelandic trolls are typically stupid but dangerous giants who actively hate Christianity and Christians. Early folk used them to explain rock formations (legends would claim they were trolls turned to stone).

Sometime in the 13th century, the general word for a she-troll – grýla – became the name of a specific troll who ate children around the holidays.

Which only goes to prove that, even hundreds of years ago, people needed a way to keep their kids in line at Christmastime.

View this post on Instagram

Happy krampusnacht! Our friend the krampus has gotten a lot of play the last few years, and I wholly approve of bringing back the traditions of terrifying children(and adults!) into good behavior. Iceland has an entire pantheon of holiday ghouls that I’m gleefully exploring and can’t wait to share with you. Without further ado, I welcome you to a Christmas full of holiday fear! . . . First, we’ll meet Gryla. She’s the matriarch of this northern band of bloodthirsty goblins. She has thirteen sons , the “Yule boys” and (depending on the telling) these creatures are murderous wretches or charming tricksters who leave gifts or rotten potatoes. Gryla, however, has received no politewashing treatment, and watches children all year long from her cave on the lava fields. If a child has made the naughty list, she’ll steal them away in the night and stuff them into her simmering stewpot. . . Clearly, Nordic wintertime festivals are the most metal. If the cold dark winters don’t kill you, there’s plenty of monsters hiding in the gloom that will. So grab your Rowan, yew, and a fresh pair of socks, and we’ll navigate how to protect ourselves from this family of fiends! (Unless you’ve already been bad. Then I’m sorry, Gryla’s claws are coming to town.) . . . #krampus #krampusnacht #folklore #christmastraditions #iceland #icelandicfolklore #goblin #troll #oagress #gryla #krampuslauf #icelandicchristmas #vikingmythology #nordictraditions #nordic #fantasticbeasts #badfairy #faerie #faerieart #betweenmirrors #popeofhell_art #whatsfordinner #darkart #fairy #badsanta #unseelie #christmasfear #nightmarebeforechristmas

A post shared by ?A. Bambi Wendt (@bambikhan) on

Like all trolls, Grýla is gross and huge, but she might also have 15 (or 40) tails to hold her many bags of naughty children, 300 heads with 3 eyes each, eyes on the back of her head, long ears, a beard, black teeth, and/or hooves – all depending on who tells the story.

So, I mean, they agree that she’s super ugly and scary, which is the point.

Despite her looks, Grýla is the mother of the 13 Yule Lads, who visit on the 13 days of Christmas, and she owns a cat called Jólakötturinn, who devours people who didn’t get clothes for Christmas (because they didn’t work hard enough).

View this post on Instagram

Day 3 of #folktaleweek is #witch. Grýla the Christmas witch of Iceland lives in a mountain cave with her husband (who is a giant yule cat!) and her 13 mischievous sons the Yule Lads.  Each Christmas, Gryla comes down from her mountain dwelling to hunt for naughty children. She places them in a sack and drags them back to her cave where she boils them alive for her favorite stew. Her sons join her and do all that they can to terrify the children before they're stuffed in Grýla's sack (because scared kids are tastier!) one is named 'the door slammer' and another 'the sausage swiper', one of them goes around stealing candles so the children are left in the dark. If you haven't heard of Grýla and her family yet go do a quick Wiki search, you're in for a treat! . #folktaleweek2018 #Gryla #christmaswitch #instawitch #witchesofinstagram #folktale #fairytale #folklore #fable #forest_of_twinkling_fireflies #iceland #kidlit #kidlitart #childrensbookillustration #childrensillustration #childrenswritersguild #illustragram #illustratenow #illustrationartists #illustrationoftheday #illustratorsofinstagram #illustratorsoninstagram #kidsillustration #artforchildren #whimsyillos #whimsicalart #best_of_illustrations #scarystories

A post shared by Freya Hartas (@freyahartas) on

As with Santa Claus, Grýla is a cautionary tale used to get children to behave, not a creature adults believe in themselves.

You can see her depicted in statues and other artwork all over Iceland – even in airports – and you won’t have any trouble seeing why Icelandic kids are probably very, very nice when the season is upon them.

I’m inspired to be a little kinder myself, even!

The post Grýla the Troll Eats Naughty Children on Christmas in Iceland appeared first on UberFacts.