Category: Relationships

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Military Drill Sergeants Share the Funniest Things They’ve Seen Recruits Do

New recruits in the military really don’t know what they have coming, and these drill sergeants didn’t know what they were in for either.

Enjoy this look into the weird, wild, wonderfully crazy world of boot camp!

1. Vomit comet!

I was in the Navy, and we were undergoing inspection by the Division Officer.

He rolled in for inspection, walked up to the first dude, and the dude puked. However, this guy was a genius—he puked down his t-shirt and into his dress blues, saving the District Officer from getting puked on.

The Division Officer was so impressed at the dude’s “military bearing” that he called the inspection right then and there. 5.0 sailors, all around; the highest grade.

2. What’s good for the goose…

I had one recruit who was paying attention to a bunch of geese rather than his drill sergeants.

I was dying of laughter on the inside, but I made him get up and chase them all away.

As they flew in the air, we made him follow them for several hundred feet to make sure they wouldn’t come back!

3. Upsturs Downsturs

Standing in formation at Fort Knox, we were about to head to the range and everyone needed their gloves. One private came out without them and the drill sergeant screamed, “Private, where are your gloves?”

In a thick Tennessee accent, he replied, “Well dang, drill sergeant, I must have done left them upsturs.”

The drill sergeant, from New Jersey, just died laughing.

4. Full Moon

An RDC in another division asked a guy if he shaved that morning and the guy claimed he had.

The RDC said, “Recruit, you are either a werewolf or you are lying, so which is it?”

The guy responded, “I must be a werewolf, petty officer!”

5. “I’M STILL HERE!”

I was going through Air Force basic training. When on guard duty, if an unauthorized person wanted to be let into the bunks, you had to report it to your drill sergeant. Our sister flight’s drill sergeant came up while I was on guard and requested entry so I reported to my sergeant and he had me ask another a series of questions.

This particular sergeant had a bushy mustache, so one question I had to ask was, “In what year was Magnum PI canceled?” He dropped out of view from the window laughing, came back up and yelled: “It was never canceled because I’M STILL HERE!”

It took everything I had not to crack up. The military can be hilarious sometimes.

6. Oh crackers!

We weren’t allowed to talk during chow at the galley. You had to point at what you wanted another recruit to pass, and they had to silently pass it.

One recruit wanted a napkin and pointed. The other recruit asked, “This?”

The coast guard drill sergeant immediately came over, circling him like sharks, screaming at him. They made him put like, 10 saltines in his mouth and chew until his mouth was full, then ask the first recruit if he wanted a napkin again. He barely could get it out, spitting pieces of cracker everywhere.

Then they screamed at the first recruit to answer him, but we were all silently cracking up.

It was the best.

7. “Die, smile die!”

While in basic training, we had a female that loved to smile. She was just a happy person in general.

Well, my training instructor came in, and she caught the female trainee smiling. She walked up to the female trainee and yelled, “Wipe that smile off your face!” The female trainee stopped smiling. The training instructor continued to yell, “No! Literally wipe the smile off your face with your hand!”

The trainee did so. “Now throw it on the ground!” The trainee followed orders. “Now stomp on it and scream, ‘Die, smile die!’ As loud as you can!” The female trainee stood there for a second before following through.

Her tiny little voice cracked as she yelled: “Die, smile die!” It took everything I had not to bust out laughing.

8. He’s got a point…

In my basic training class, I was a squad leader, which is essentially just a person who does extra chores. Anyway, for reasons unknown, I and the other squad leaders were doing pushups in the drill sergeant’s office. Now, when you do these pushups, you eventually reach muscle failure so you just sort of hang out there in the front leaning for rest and trying to bust out another pushup every few seconds or so.

We were all in there dying and the drill sergeant said to one of my buddies: “Private Hudson! Tell me what’s the difference between basic training and being in prison.”

Without missing a beat, Private Hudson said: “Drill Sergeant! In prison, they get to watch TV!” The drill sergeant cracked a little bit of a smile and then told us to get up and get out of there.

9. Pocket full of tears…

I work at basic training ranges and we had a drill sergeant yell at his soldier while they were getting ready to go down a buddy live fire exercise. The soldier froze and started crying. This 18-year-old kid was just in tears for getting yelled at.

The drill sergeant yelled at him some more and he finally gave up because the kid wouldn’t stop crying. He made him scoop tears off his face and put them in his pockets till he filled his pockets up with tears. He did this for like an hour.

It was hilarious.

10. Sleepy time

When I was in basic training, I saw three drill sergeants surrounding a private who was laying down.

They were all screaming, “GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW PRIVATE, YOU TAKE A NAP THIS VERY SECOND YOU POOR TIRED SOUL!” (Not exact words, but you get the gist of it).

I still wonder how he got himself into that predicament.

11. A weird game of telephone…

On hikes, my DI’s loved having conversations using the recruits as messengers.

The DI at the end of the formation would send a recruit to the front to give the DI up there a message and back.

They would either have stupid conversations or talk trash using the recruit.

12. Pinecone probs

During Field Training Exercise, the DS told me to get a trash bag, then go around and collect as many pine cones as I could.

For like three hours. I had a bunch of trash bags.

He then took a little walk around, contemplated for a bit, then said that he was mistaken.

He ordered me to redistribute all the pinecones.

13. On further reflection…

When I was in boot camp, our drill instructor had a recruit sit in front of his own reflection and continually ask himself if he really wanted to be there… for three hours.

All while screaming at him to “mean it!”

I don’t know how they didn’t crack up. It was hilarious.

14. Spittle

“WHAT’S THAT DISGUSTING STUFF ALL OVER YOUR GLASSES, MAGGOT?!”

“I believe it’s your saliva, drill sergeant, sir!”

He closed his eyes and waited for death.

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Funny Memes About the 1% of People That Haven’t Seen ‘Game of Thrones’

What is wrong with these people?! Why don’t they like amazing things?!?

Seriously though, not everybody loves to watch the best show in the history of television. They say it’s boring. Or too violent. Or has too much nudity.

It’s okay to be wrong.

Now enjoy these memes!

1. Zach’s got a plan, y’all!

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. No. We won’t. Well, we will eventually.

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. You’re a god damned monster!

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. “Yeahhhhh… so???”

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. Accurate.

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Yeah, because you suck!

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. A mysterious tribe we know little about…

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. lol… okay, this is funny

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. Haters gonna hate.

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. Just ask somebody! We’ll be happy to explain.

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. Kind of like when you don’t watch sports, yeah?

Photo Credit: The Chive

12. Same thing every Monday. For now…

Photo Credit: The Chive

13. Watch it. Jumping out of windows isn’t fun OR easy.

Photo Credit: The Chive

14. GoT isn’t going to end. The prequels are coming…

Photo Credit: The Chive

Do you really think Game of Thrones will ever end? HBO has made WAY too much money because of it.

Winter is coming… for decades!

The post Funny Memes About the 1% of People That Haven’t Seen ‘Game of Thrones’ appeared first on UberFacts.

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These Hilarious Relatable Tweets Will Make You Think “Same”

Sometimes you just need to sit back and laugh.

You feel me fam?

Let’s do this!

1. OMG…. what?!

2. Happy Overbearing Mother’s Day!

3. People keep their pets, kid!

4. Lesbian vegibetarians…

5. Effective. Let’s get it in the mix!

6. Hoo boy!

7. Go with the flow!

8. Wait until you get past 37…

9. Life goals!

10. I want to be friends with you immediately!

11. Same

12. And you will likely never find her, sir!

13. Hey guy! Don’t give up!

OMG… that Guy Fieri one… I’m dying…

The post These Hilarious Relatable Tweets Will Make You Think “Same” appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Reveal What Happened to the Mean Girls from High School. Karma Is Real.

High school girls can be TERRIBLE. Boys are bad too, but there’s something particularly cruel and frightening about a mean teenage girl.

But do you ever stop to ponder what becomes of those people? Here are some good stories from AskReddit users about what happened to the mean girls in the years after high school ended.

1. Stardom

“One of the popular girls from my brother’s high school ended up being Chelsea on Teen Mom.

Lmao he went to Vermillion high school. Our town’s team was the tanagers and her dad was our dentist.

As someone who’s guilty pleasure was this show, I always wondered what her dad did to be able to keep bailing her out and caring for her financially. It’s not every day you have some small irrelevant question answered haha.”

2. A bit hypocritical

“Our nasty head cheerleader who preached sex only through marriage got knocked up at 16 by a guy she met at a party and is now 20 and has 3 kids and 3 different baby daddies. Irony is a b**ch! “

3. Fat and old

“I actually just ran into a bunch of them. A high school friend got cancer at 40 and passed away. Had kids and a wife, what a terrible shame.

Everyone from high school looked like a bunch of old people. I mean, I know that’s Mike under there, but he looks like an old man that looks like Mike. Same for the woman.

I was surprised how many of them got fat – men and women. Pretty much everybody got fat. Fat and old. It’s a shame.”

4. A nice one

“There was this particular girl who was always making fun of me and my group of friends and calling us nerds and losers. The other day I went to the supermarket and saw her for the first time after graduating, she was the cashier and she was clearly embarrassed that I saw her there.

But you know what, good for her for having a job. There is no reason to be embarrassed for being a cashier and I was kind of sad to see her ashamed. I wish her nothing but happiness.”

5. Two categories

“I also think they should be divided into two groups:

popular girls because they dressed questionably and were obnoxious party groupies
popular girls because they were friendly to everyone, intelligent, and going places
The 2’s are getting good educations at good schools, working good jobs etc. The 1’s are now single mothers selling multi-level marketing wraps and shakes, trying to pretend that they know more about health and medicine than the other girls who got real educations.”

6. Plain Jane no more

“I haven’t kept in touch with anybody from high school.

I did go to my 10th HS reunion, though, and have a story that kind of fits.

At our reunion, everybody looked and acted pretty much as expected, except for one girl, who was always really shy and kind of a “Plain Jane.” Apparently, she was a late bloomer, because in those 10 years since graduation, she’d become an honest to goodness fitness model. She was easily the hottest woman there, and it was kind of amusing to see all the husbands paying attention to her while their “popular girl” wives pretended it was OK. (Well, all of them except me. I, of course, was simply being polite, and not staring at her smoking hot body.)

I think a lot of gym memberships were bought and diets started the following Monday.”

7. A bunch of meanies

“One of ’em sings for a punk band now. She’s not very good, neither is the band.

Most others were pregnant before high school even finished, one became a volleyball player for some religious college, and the model tried to follow her modeling dreams and I think she’s like a D- tier celebrity now.”

8. Three paths

“Three I can think of off the top of my head:

One got addicted to heroine and became a stripper.

One had a kid and is a single mom now.

One I believe works in construction, and likes to run, seems like she stays pretty healthy (I see her jogging through our town a lot).”

9. Petty

“They seemed to plateau. They organized our 10-year reunion and were every bit as uncreative and obliviously petty as they were then. They weren’t/aren’t mean or catty like you see in the movies, just existed inside their own little bubble and the rest of the world might as well not have existed. They turned out exactly like you’d expect: Mommy bloggers, “photographers,” mid-level office managers, etc.

Our reunion was embarrassing. Despite putting out calls for requests for music, photos, etc. on the event’s Facebook page for months, there was no music whatsoever all night and the photos used in the slideshow were just of them and their friends from back in the day. No school colors, no school songs, no decorations of any kind, no group photo at the end of the night.

They then got up and gave a speech nobody could hear through a broken microphone and then posted pictures the next day essentially congratulating themselves for pulling off a “fantastic” night. My high school buddies who didn’t go, but saw pictures, all texted me asking if it was real.”

10. Driven

“Everyone seems to have put on weight and gone to grad school. The popular girls in middle school were mean as hell but the ones I recall from high school were just super driven. They were popular because they were the presidents of every club, star athletes of every sports team, etc.”

11. The truth

“They all went to college, got jobs ranging from school councilor to dental hygienist and got married, pumped out kids. Really boring answer but the truth.”

12. One exception…

“Speaking for the cheerleaders, all got undergraduate degrees, about half got masters degrees, virtually all got married, have kids and are stay at home moms still living in the bubble (University Park/Highland Park.) The one notable exception is one that I briefly dated, who went straight through undergrad into her MBA and went to work for one of the big consulting firms.

She’s a “senior manager” consultant/pretty face that gets to jet around the world for meetings. Honestly she seems the happiest of all of them. Tons of money, tons of time off, no kids weighing her down and 1st class travel all over the world.”

13. Drugs are no good

“Most of them have very normal lives. The popular girls at my school, save for a few, were generally nice people, and they continue to be nice people now and enjoy varying degrees of success.

There is one that wasn’t very nice back then, and whatever promise she had is shattered due to issues with prescription drugs. She’s lost her kids, looks well older than her 45 years, and is always in and out of jail. I feel sorry for her to a certain extent, but she’s done it to herself.”

14. More drugs…

“The girl voted Prettiest Girl spent years doing hard drugs. I ran into her at the DMV and she now looks older than my mother.

The actual prettiest girl in school is still stunningly beautiful… still looks almost exactly the way she did when she was 18. I thought she was her daughter when I saw her.”

15. Pretty normal stuff

“She went to more of a party college and joined a sorority where it seems like she made a lot of good friends. She put on a bit of weight, but she was very thin in high school and wears it really well. Then she graduated with an accounting degree and joined a firm a few states away. She’s not married yet, but she’s been with her current boyfriend for about a year and they seem good together.

I ran into her at a wedding a few months ago and she seems to really have chilled out since high school. She was overall friendly to everyone, but had her moments where she would be rude to the nerdier kids (i.e. me). She was a bit awkward at first, but after she realized that I had no hard feelings toward her, she loosened up a lot and we caught up on the past 5 years.

Overall, I’d say she’s doing very well, and I’m happy to say that I’ve come far enough as a person where I consider that a good thing.”

The post 15 People Reveal What Happened to the Mean Girls from High School. Karma Is Real. appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Reveal What Happened to the Mean Girls from High School. Karma Is Real.

High school girls can be TERRIBLE. Boys are bad too, but there’s something particularly cruel and frightening about a mean teenage girl.

But do you ever stop to ponder what becomes of those people? Here are some good stories from AskReddit users about what happened to the mean girls in the years after high school ended.

1. Stardom

“One of the popular girls from my brother’s high school ended up being Chelsea on Teen Mom.

Lmao he went to Vermillion high school. Our town’s team was the tanagers and her dad was our dentist.

As someone who’s guilty pleasure was this show, I always wondered what her dad did to be able to keep bailing her out and caring for her financially. It’s not every day you have some small irrelevant question answered haha.”

2. A bit hypocritical

“Our nasty head cheerleader who preached sex only through marriage got knocked up at 16 by a guy she met at a party and is now 20 and has 3 kids and 3 different baby daddies. Irony is a b**ch! “

3. Fat and old

“I actually just ran into a bunch of them. A high school friend got cancer at 40 and passed away. Had kids and a wife, what a terrible shame.

Everyone from high school looked like a bunch of old people. I mean, I know that’s Mike under there, but he looks like an old man that looks like Mike. Same for the woman.

I was surprised how many of them got fat – men and women. Pretty much everybody got fat. Fat and old. It’s a shame.”

4. A nice one

“There was this particular girl who was always making fun of me and my group of friends and calling us nerds and losers. The other day I went to the supermarket and saw her for the first time after graduating, she was the cashier and she was clearly embarrassed that I saw her there.

But you know what, good for her for having a job. There is no reason to be embarrassed for being a cashier and I was kind of sad to see her ashamed. I wish her nothing but happiness.”

5. Two categories

“I also think they should be divided into two groups:

popular girls because they dressed questionably and were obnoxious party groupies
popular girls because they were friendly to everyone, intelligent, and going places
The 2’s are getting good educations at good schools, working good jobs etc. The 1’s are now single mothers selling multi-level marketing wraps and shakes, trying to pretend that they know more about health and medicine than the other girls who got real educations.”

6. Plain Jane no more

“I haven’t kept in touch with anybody from high school.

I did go to my 10th HS reunion, though, and have a story that kind of fits.

At our reunion, everybody looked and acted pretty much as expected, except for one girl, who was always really shy and kind of a “Plain Jane.” Apparently, she was a late bloomer, because in those 10 years since graduation, she’d become an honest to goodness fitness model. She was easily the hottest woman there, and it was kind of amusing to see all the husbands paying attention to her while their “popular girl” wives pretended it was OK. (Well, all of them except me. I, of course, was simply being polite, and not staring at her smoking hot body.)

I think a lot of gym memberships were bought and diets started the following Monday.”

7. A bunch of meanies

“One of ’em sings for a punk band now. She’s not very good, neither is the band.

Most others were pregnant before high school even finished, one became a volleyball player for some religious college, and the model tried to follow her modeling dreams and I think she’s like a D- tier celebrity now.”

8. Three paths

“Three I can think of off the top of my head:

One got addicted to heroine and became a stripper.

One had a kid and is a single mom now.

One I believe works in construction, and likes to run, seems like she stays pretty healthy (I see her jogging through our town a lot).”

9. Petty

“They seemed to plateau. They organized our 10-year reunion and were every bit as uncreative and obliviously petty as they were then. They weren’t/aren’t mean or catty like you see in the movies, just existed inside their own little bubble and the rest of the world might as well not have existed. They turned out exactly like you’d expect: Mommy bloggers, “photographers,” mid-level office managers, etc.

Our reunion was embarrassing. Despite putting out calls for requests for music, photos, etc. on the event’s Facebook page for months, there was no music whatsoever all night and the photos used in the slideshow were just of them and their friends from back in the day. No school colors, no school songs, no decorations of any kind, no group photo at the end of the night.

They then got up and gave a speech nobody could hear through a broken microphone and then posted pictures the next day essentially congratulating themselves for pulling off a “fantastic” night. My high school buddies who didn’t go, but saw pictures, all texted me asking if it was real.”

10. Driven

“Everyone seems to have put on weight and gone to grad school. The popular girls in middle school were mean as hell but the ones I recall from high school were just super driven. They were popular because they were the presidents of every club, star athletes of every sports team, etc.”

11. The truth

“They all went to college, got jobs ranging from school councilor to dental hygienist and got married, pumped out kids. Really boring answer but the truth.”

12. One exception…

“Speaking for the cheerleaders, all got undergraduate degrees, about half got masters degrees, virtually all got married, have kids and are stay at home moms still living in the bubble (University Park/Highland Park.) The one notable exception is one that I briefly dated, who went straight through undergrad into her MBA and went to work for one of the big consulting firms.

She’s a “senior manager” consultant/pretty face that gets to jet around the world for meetings. Honestly she seems the happiest of all of them. Tons of money, tons of time off, no kids weighing her down and 1st class travel all over the world.”

13. Drugs are no good

“Most of them have very normal lives. The popular girls at my school, save for a few, were generally nice people, and they continue to be nice people now and enjoy varying degrees of success.

There is one that wasn’t very nice back then, and whatever promise she had is shattered due to issues with prescription drugs. She’s lost her kids, looks well older than her 45 years, and is always in and out of jail. I feel sorry for her to a certain extent, but she’s done it to herself.”

14. More drugs…

“The girl voted Prettiest Girl spent years doing hard drugs. I ran into her at the DMV and she now looks older than my mother.

The actual prettiest girl in school is still stunningly beautiful… still looks almost exactly the way she did when she was 18. I thought she was her daughter when I saw her.”

15. Pretty normal stuff

“She went to more of a party college and joined a sorority where it seems like she made a lot of good friends. She put on a bit of weight, but she was very thin in high school and wears it really well. Then she graduated with an accounting degree and joined a firm a few states away. She’s not married yet, but she’s been with her current boyfriend for about a year and they seem good together.

I ran into her at a wedding a few months ago and she seems to really have chilled out since high school. She was overall friendly to everyone, but had her moments where she would be rude to the nerdier kids (i.e. me). She was a bit awkward at first, but after she realized that I had no hard feelings toward her, she loosened up a lot and we caught up on the past 5 years.

Overall, I’d say she’s doing very well, and I’m happy to say that I’ve come far enough as a person where I consider that a good thing.”

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A Straight “Country Boy” from Oklahoma Decorated His Truck for Pride Month, and It’ll Put a Smile on Your Face

One of the great thing about Pride Month is that we get to hear about moving stories from unlikely people and places. A recent story is a wonderful example of this, and it comes to us from the state of Oklahoma.

Cody Barlow describes himself as a “country boy,” and he has friends and family in the LGBTQ community and doesn’t care who knows it.

Posted by Cody Barlow on Thursday, June 6, 2019

Barlow wanted to show his support for Pride Month, and he did it in a fabulous way – especially considering the fact that he lives in a small town in Oklahoma, which is maybe not the first place that comes to mind when thinking about Gay Pride Month.

Take a look at how Barlow showed his support.

Photo Credit: Facebook, Cody Barlow

Barlow’s Facebook post with that great photo of his truck says:

“Found a way to show my support for pride month.

I simply bought rolls of brightly colored duct tape and ran them across my tailgate in the design of the pride flag, and added some mailbox letters.

This is important to me, not only because I have family and friends that are LGBTQ+, but also because countless people have dealt with hatred and judgement simply for who they are, and/or who they love, for far too long. Obviously doing this isn’t going to change the minds of those who are intolerant, but hopefully it can help drown out the hatred with love.

I live in a rural area in Oklahoma, surrounded by small towns in every direction, and I’m sure this is not a very welcome message around here, but this is going to be displayed on my truck for the entire month of June in support of pride month.

I don’t think it is necessary to say, but for all intents and purposes I am a straight man that grew up here in Oklahoma. I love taking my truck mudding, going fishing, swimming at the lake, floating the river, and several other “country” activities.

It doesn’t matter what negativity I receive for supporting this. I hope that this can help even the slightest bit to encourage and support at least one person that needs it.

I hope everyone finds their inner strength to finally live life loud and proud without regard for the negativity of ignorant people.

Happy pride month!”

People who’ve never met Barlow commented on his post and told him how much it meant to them.

Photo Credit: Facebook

Photo Credit: Facebook

Photo Credit: Facebook

Barlow said there have been some negative comments online, but “it’s worth all of the negativity if it helps even just one person.”

As of this writing, Barlow’s post has been shared over 80,000 times on Facebook. Great work, Cody! We need more people out there like this young man.

The post A Straight “Country Boy” from Oklahoma Decorated His Truck for Pride Month, and It’ll Put a Smile on Your Face appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Marriage Counselors Reveal the Most Common Mistakes That Couples Make

Marriage is really hard work. Just ask anyone who’s been there, and they’ll tell you all about the trials and tribulations, the ups and downs.

If you’re married and you want some good (FREE) advice, you’re in luck!

These AskReddit users who work as marriage counselors share the biggest, most common mistakes that couples make.

1. Very important…

“Expecting one person to be everything for them. You need friends, coworkers, a support system, and hobbies.

Keeping secrets or lies.

Failure to communicate effectively – this can be taught.

2. Don’t keep score

“Keeping score. A partnership is a team, not a competition. Whether a person keeps score of everything they have done, or everything their partner has done, it is a death knell for the relationship. This is one of the most common causes of resentment in a relationship, and you see it often when people use absolute terms to describe themselves or their partners (I.e: I always…, she never…). Remembering that each person has his/her own needs, abilities, skills, and boundaries is essential to a healthy couple.

Expecting that because your significant other knows you better than others and is around you most, that they are aware of all of your thoughts and feelings. Your partner is not psychic, and no matter how often they are around you or how well they know you, they cannot pick up on every nuance to determine how you are feeling and how they should respond. That is called emotional babysitting, and it cascades into a host of problems and unnecessary hurt.”

3. Listen up

“Not listening, most people listen to respond and don’t listen to hear. This is what I spend the most time teaching couples how to do!”

4. Some good points

“I have provided couples counseling at different points in my career. Some of the common mistakes I will often see are:

Expecting partners to be able to read their mind and anticipate needs and wants

Goes with the first one, lack of communication/comfort with discussing difficult topics. Or one partner being uncomfortable with discussion a topic which leaves both partners feeling frustrated or dissatisfied

Blaming their partner for all issues in the relationship and not taking ownership of their own role in dysfunction/issues

Not expressing gratitude towards your partner on a regular basis. Experiences and expressions of gratitude can have a really positive effect on psychological well being as well as relational strength.

Not giving intimacy in their relationship enough attention. This includes but is not limited to sex. Many relationships start with the “hot and heavy” phase where intimacy can come naturally. As this phase diminishes many couples do not spend the time and energy to consider how to maintain a healthy level of intimacy now that it doesn’t just come naturally.”

5. A bit of a different view

“Divorce lawyer here.

Talk. About. Money.

Talk. About. Sex.

If you’re marrying someone with a shitty credit score, you should know how and why they ended up with it, lest you find yourself in their shoes very quickly. A credit score can cost thousands and take Y E A R S to rebuild. Know if they have any tax liens or liability. Are they paying child support and do they have any kind of garnishment?

Who is going to be responsible for managing the finances? How many credit cards does the other person have and what are their balances? I’ve seen money kill a lot of marriages.

Another one a lot of people don’t think of is actually talking about sex, not just having it. Do you enjoy the sex you have? Would you like to have more of it? Less? Would you like to se it change? Do you or the other person have any weird kinks? Just have the talk. Different sexual wavelengths can be difficult to reconcile.”

6. Business talk

“Not a lawyer but a paralegal. I always tell people to never marry someone you wouldn’t go into business with.

Because marriage is a legal business. It is a marriage contract. Not like a contract you sign for internet service or to buy a car. But a legal contract nevertheless. One that creates a business relationship with the other person. And one that requires going to court and paying financial settlements to extricate yourself from. You have to get the court’s permission to dissolve the legal contract.

If you can’t imagine yourselves, I don’t know, opening a dry cleaning business together. Or starting the next great start up. Or running a B&B. Or opening a tire shop. Or running a multi million dollar media empire. Whatever it is.

If you think of that and think things like, “Oh god no, they’d drive me crazy. They’d have wacky ideas. We’d never agree. I’d have to make all the decisions and not tell them.” Or anything else that indicates fear and loathing of the idea of going into business together then DO NOT, I repeat in bold flashing lights DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON. Because to marry them is to open a business enterprise with them.

People in the past knew that marriage was a business arrangement. They set people up with eligible singles from other families. They knew that it creates a legal and financial contract. And that people are more likely to be happy with other people who share their values around money and major life decisions. Yes sometimes people married for convenience or expectation rather than for love. But now we have people marrying for love in irresponsible ways. Not every love marriage is irresponsible, but enough of them are.

They say people divorce over money, but they don’t, they divorce over values. Because nothing brings out someone’s values like money, or lack thereof.

The decisions a person makes around money tell you more about who they are and what they value than anything else.

If you can’t agree with the person your partner is when it comes to money, if you can’t understand their priorities, their fears, their hopes, their dreams, their goals, and what drives them financially, or if you look down on them for any of that or think you can fix them, or if they hide any of it from you, then don’t marry them.”

7. Don’t lose sight

“Therapist here, have served couples.

Number one problem I see is overactive threat response creating anger and rigidity. People don’t stop to turn down their defense mode, and lose sight of love because all their energy is going towards being right or controlling the outcome. Of course that control comes from a place of fear, but fear and vulnerability feels too dangerous, so it typically gets expressed as anger, frustration, or rigidity.

Surrender to not having control, accept what’s in front of you, and cultivate compassion. Please. Because y’all rigid couples who just can’t prioritize empathizing with each other over your fear response are driving me nuts!”

8. Teammates

“As soon as couple stops being on the same team, fighting all the bullshit of life together, things fall apart. Get on the same team. Get behind each other’s goals. If you’re not on the same team, you’re just going to wind up annoying the fuck out of each other. All that bullshit of life is going to be beating you down and your life partner is just going to be part of it instead of a refuge.”

9. Don’t be harsh

“When your significant other brings something to your attention, that they need/want, don’t react harshly if it’s something they’ve refused to bring up sooner. Getting loud or defensive “Why didn’t you bring this up sooner!” will make them shy away from bringing things up again due to negative reinforcement/backlash.

This is especially true if they’ve been victims of any kind of abusive relationships.

Literally killed my marriage because I was an idiot and didn’t respond in an open, non-positive way.”

10. A unit

“One of the most toxic things I have found in doing marriage counseling is when couples think of themselves as individuals who happen to be together and not as a couple. (Not that I’m advocating enmeshment.)

That’s not really marriage. That’s having a roommate, or perhaps less than that even.

Marriage is a union of two people. That’s what the unity candle and sand and knots are all about. There is a bringing together of two lives that is inseparable.

If either member still conceptualizes themself as a solely autonomous individual whose actions and dispositions impact only themselves, things will go bad eventually.

They go bad because it results in a person caring more for themselves than their spouse. This is seen where couples spend money behind each other’s backs because “it’s my money, why does it matter?” When couples keep secrets from each other, which inevitably results in pain. This is seen when couples don’t stop to consider their spouse’s thoughts, feelings, desires, dreams, abilities, and strengths alongside their weaknesses.

The remedy to this is behaving as a unit in small ways and in large. If you’re getting something from the fridge, see if your spouse wants something. It even helps in arguments; no longer is it spouse against spouse but it’s the married couple against the issue causing stress to the unit.

When one person considers a course of action, their thoughts ought to be about how it impacts the unit.”

11. Challenges and speed bumps

“I work with couples and their relationships a lot, in my line of work, and do some forms of counselling though it is not my job or training.

But one of the common threads I see running in the midst of relationships/marriages that fall apart is a kind of selfishness.

People that don’t quite realize that marriage works best when you are both acting in the others’ best interest and seeking their happiness more than your own.

It crops up a lot, but not exclusively, in sex/intimacy: if your primary concern in sex is you, you are not going to build any kind of bond or intimate connection, and nor is it going to be much fun for your partner.

Marriage is a lot about sacrifice and the couples I see thriving are the ones who are each willing to make sacrifices for the other and for their family.

Couples who get married thinking that the coming decades of marriage are going to be exactly like the dating or the honeymoon phase, when they face major challenges or speed bumps in their life together, have a real hard time dealing with it, “But I thought I was supposed to be happy.” “

12. Unspoken rules

“Current Marriage, Couple and Family master’s counseling student here.

Unspoken family rules that you bring into relationship are HUGE.

Obviously you didn’t grow up together and depending on how you did you grow up you may have had completely different family of origin (FOO) experiences. It can be as simple as your FOO separated out laundry by color and your SO’s just threw everything in together so you have different family rules regarding laundry, to your FOO had the rule of “family problems stay in the family” and your SO’s family talked to people outside the family about all the problems freely.

Everybody has these rules, talking about them and uncovering them (without judgement) will go a very long way in maintaining and deepening connection. If you don’t talk about them it is easy to get into negative interactional patterns that are just rehearsals of how your FOO did things and not creating healthy, mutually safe patterns.”

13. Not just a utility

“Sexual incompatibility. Misunderstanding sex as a bonding activity. When one or the other believes sex is something one does to another as if it was just a utility.”

14. That’s not good

“Treating their pets better than their partners.”

15. Be mindful of the baggage

“Marriage counselor in TX:

Probably one of the biggest mistakes that couples make is forgetting that they’re on the same team, and they fight to win instead of fighting to resolve.

Focus on hearing and understanding each other, and engage in disagreements with an eye on coming together, and compromise will follow easily.

Also: sex is good, important, and okay to talk about. Couples make the mistake of thinking that sex is one of those things that they should just intuitively understand, but life doesn’t work like that.

Quick edit to add:

If you aren’t mindful of the baggage that you bring into a relationship, that baggage will make more decisions for you than you will probably realize. Talk about the skeletons in your closet!”

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Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan Released the First Picture of Baby Archie

It’s the moment millions of people all around the world have been looking forward to with excitement. Nothing gets certain people more riled up than the personal lives of the British Royal Family, and this is a big moment for them.

On Mother’s Day, shortly after Archie was born, the couple released a cute photo of the little guy’s feet, but since then everyone’s been patiently waiting for more than a month to catch a glimpse of the baby’s face.

As a nice tribute in the Mother’s Day photo, Princess Diana’s favorite flowers, forget-me-nots, are seen in the background.

Archie was born over a month ago on May 6, 2019, and waiting for the official reveal has been excruciating for some folks.

Well, wait no more, because…here’s Archie!

At least, here’s most of his face. And, fittingly, the couple released the photo on Father’s Day, and it shows Archie cradled in Harry’s arms.

The baby’s full name is…wait for it…Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. Sounds pretty royal to me. The little guy is seventh in the line of succession to the British throne.

You know that without a doubt we’ll get to see this child grow up in the spotlight. Royal Baby Fever!

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These Groomzillas Put Demanding Brides to Shame. Yikes.

Everyone’s heard of bridezillas, but what about the guys out there who take wedding plans to the extreme, too.

Oh, you didn’t realize that guys can be overly invested in their weddings? Well, they are.

And these 11 guys spared no expense…and no one’s feelings…

1. This really should be a day for BOTH people…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Well, you’ve met one now!

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. You expected something less?

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Lock that shit down, quick!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Oh boy. Three against one!

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. This woman! Somebody marry this woman immediately!

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Yikes!

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Yeah, he should really help… but do you want that?

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Agreed! Good for you!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Yeah. Nobody should be expected to spend that much money to go to a wedding…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Gotta be assertive now, otherwise that marriage is gonna be ROUGH!

Photo Credit: Whisper

If you’re the bride-to-be, are you asking yourself… “Do I still want to say ‘I do?’”

Hmmmm…

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An Elderly Man’s Moving Advice to a Grieving Woman Went Viral for Good Reason

Sadly, we will all go through the experience of losing people we love. It’s part of life, but that doesn’t stop it from being incredibly painful and gutwrenching.

A woman on Reddit lost someone important in her life and she turned to people on the Internet to help her get through the tough time. The title of her post was, “My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.”

Photo Credit: Pexels

That’s when the self-proclaimed “old” person offered up their advice. Be sure to read his entire post, because it is pretty incredible.

“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes.

Photo Credit: Flickr,michael_swan

My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

Photo Credit: Pexels

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

People were deeply moved by the old man’s eloquent words.

“I’m reading this now as I lay bedside by my mother who has had cancer for 6 months, and cancer won. She’s been on a morphine drip for the last few days. I’m trying to cope, and came across this. Thank you.”

“This is beautiful. You have helped more people than you know by posting this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

“As much pain as it’s caused, the memories I have of my friends and family are much more pleasant. And when I feel like I’m floating, I hang on to those memories like a life preserver, and you know what? They work really well.”

Thank you for your thoughtful words, sir. I think they brought comfort to many strangers who needed them at exactly the right time.

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