15 People Share the Weird Things They Did When They Were Kids

All of us were kids at one point and we all did weird sh*t.

With that in mind, one Reddit user asked this question recently:  “What are some strange things you did as a kid?”

15 people shared what they used to do, and the last one is EPIC. Make sure to check out #1. Seriously.

15. “…it was very important to me to do what felt like the right thing.”

When a family pet would die, Dad placed it in a garbage bag and put our dead cat or dog in the trash bin for collection.

Even though he wouldn’t allow a “pet cemetery” on their property, the minute he left for work I retrieved our pet and buried it in a remote section of the back yard (with an etched stone for a marker).

Mom would help me, and Dad never found out It felt strange keeping a secret from him because it was the only one – but it was very important to me to do what felt like the right thing.

14. “I liked the taste of the limestone dust/concretions.”

when we had tornado drills in school we would all go into the new tornado shelter under the cafeteria.

It was dark and had really encrusted limestone gravel. I’d suck on the rocks because I liked the taste of the limestone dust/concretions. It was a rare event because we didn’t have a lot of tornado drills.

Suckin rocks in the dark surrounded by hundreds of kids.

13. “Then I took each pair off one-by-one…”

I used to put on somewhere between 5-10 pairs of shorts and go visit an elderly couple that lived a few houses down.

Upon arriving, I’d get them to guess how many pairs they thought I was wearing. Then I took each pair off one-by-one (except for the last) to reveal the final count.

They usually gave me powdered donuts afterwards. Then I’d be on my way.

12. “…even my mom said it was really creepy.”

For whatever reason, I always used to repeat things immediately after I said them but in a whisper.

“I’ll have chicken tenders!”

I’ll have chicken tenders

Years later, even my mom said it was really creepy.

11. “I miss my light buddy.”

You know how light reflects on the tile floor to create a glowing orb? I used to be best friends with that little guy till about 5th grade.

When I’d see him in the school auditorium or in class I distinctly remember whispering “Hey buddy” or something like that.

I kind of miss the times where you could just personify inanimate nonsense.

I miss my light buddy.

10. “There are no dentists in our family…

We pretended that we lived in the mouth of a boy named Johnny.

Basically, we’d wrap a thick blanket around our legs (to represent the gums), and shout with excitement when Johnny brushed his teeth or drank milk, or scream in horror when he ate chocolate or other sugary foods.

No idea how this started. There are no dentists in our family…

9. “My sinuses were full of rotting bread.”

I’m the 2nd of 4 kids in a military family.

When I was still a preschooler, one day, my mother notices I stink. Not dirty, not sweaty, but full on rolled in garbage stink.

So I get yelled at for playing in the garbage and bathed and made to put on new clothes and a little while later I stink again.

So I get yelled at and bathed and made to put on new clothes and a little while later I stink again.

This went on until my mother had (the first of many) mini nervous breakdowns.

She took me to the doctor. She was crying and sobbing and explained the insanity of what was going on and begged him to find out what was wrong … because even then I stank like garbage.

It took him a few minutes but he did sort it out.

I had been taking small bits of white bread from my sandwiches, rolling them into little balls and shoving them up my nose.

My sinuses were full of rotting bread.

He pulled out as much as he could, I sneezed out the rest over a couple of days and then I stopped stinking.

Side Note : I have no memory of this, only my mother telling the story every chance she gets.

8. “I would then climb into the fireplace…”

When I was about 1-2 years old, I apparently used to take of all my clothes.

That’s not the strange thing. Lots of kids like to run around naked.

The strange part is that I would then climb into the fireplace and eat charcoal.

My older siblings all love to remind me of it.

7. “I had to do it again 4 more times…”

I had OCD where everything I did, I had to do in multiples of 5.

Everything, number of bites before swallowing, I had to take 5 chips at one time, scratch myself 5 times etc you get the idea.

So if ever I had to do something for the 6th time, I had to do it again 4 more times to hit 10

hahaha

6. “A few other neighbours didn’t lock their doors.”

I used to break into my neighbours homes when I was 7 or 8 maybe.

Never stole anything of value, just wandered around. Had a neighbour who had a massive house but didn’t appear to live there.

The stairs leading from the parking pad into the home was just surrounded by bars, I was able to squeeze through the bars to enter the home.

A few other neighbours didn’t lock their doors. I remember one instance of being in someone’s home and walking around and found a box of cookies on the kitchen counter. They were sprinkle cookies, very delicious.

I remember being upstairs and I heard someone in the shower. They came out before I could get down the stairs.

I spent a long time trying to escape unseen.

5. “the other person would ram them in the ass…”

Ok..finally I can confess.

My friend and I used to play this game where one person (we’re females ) would bend over with their ass in the air on the bed and the other person would ram them in the ass with their head.

I was never really into it. Mostly since I was usually the one with my ass in there. My friend was weird. But I did it because some times it was funny.

I have lived with the shame of the stupidity of this game for years.

4. “I’ll get a craving every now and again…”

I used to eat paper.

If I got a napkin with a meal, I’d eat that along with the food, and I’d tear corners off textbooks for a snack.

Even now as an adult, I’ll get a craving every now and again for a paper towel.

3. “I decided to try to make perfume by pulverizing…”

What strange things didn’t I do?

I dug up nightcrawlers for the sheer pleasure of seeing how gross/slimy/interesting they were.

My best friend and I had a game where we played at being vampires and werewolves.

I decided to try to make perfume by pulverizing magnolia flowers, putting them in a bottle with some other random stuff that smelled good, and left it in the sun, long story short, it didn’t turn into perfume.

I had a “pet” squirrel that would come and climb window-screens if I didn’t feed it by a certain time each day.

Honestly, I could go on and on.

2. “The people below us screamed, grabbed the croc for a minute…”

My extended family would visit a timeshare condo in Vermont in the summer. My mom, dad, brother and I stayed in one bedroom with a bunk bed, and my cousin, aunt, and uncle stayed in the other.

My family’s room had a full-length mirror on the door. My cousin, brother, and I would play a game called “Funny News”, where I would pretend to be a news anchor in front of the mirror and talk about the weather and make up random news and they would throw stuffed animals at me and I would react to them. I would say things like “And today the forecast calls for…” and they would throw a teddy bear at me and I would say “…for BEARS?!” Goofy things like that.

Another time we took my cousin’s stuffed crocodile, tied a string around it, and lowered it down from the balcony. We were on the fifteenth floor of the building. The people below us screamed, grabbed the croc for a minute, and then tossed it back over their balcony…

1. “I once woke my parents up in the middle of the night singing “We Will Rock You” by Queen.”

Oh boy. Where do I start?

I had an imaginary boyfriend named Boomafitz. He had spiky hair, a red bowtie with blue polka dots, and sharp teeth.

Among my other imaginary friends were a british ghost girl named Jenny who spent all her time crying and eating potato chips and a goldfish named Mustard, who ate dogs.

I fought with people all the time. I would constantly make huge scenes in public arguing with other kids. Once I met another little girl, and we got along at first, until she said that her dad was the strongest man in the world. I politely informed her that my dad was the strongest man in the world. We went back and forth telling stories of our father’s feats of strength, and she told me that her dad once lifted up a skyscraper. With 100 people in it. I couldn’t compete with that. I went home heartbroken after learning that there was a man stronger than my dad.

I had a crush on Mighty Mouse, and left out bars of soap for him every night in the hopes that he would come to my house to retrieve the soap, and I would catch him and he would marry me.

Whenever I played with Barbies, which I did until I was 13 years old, the games were usually about Ken kidnapping the Barbies and taking them all to a deserted island, where he used them as his sex slaves, whom he murdered brutally every time they tried to fight back. Eventually, the Barbies who had survived escaped and killed Ken by hanging him with his intestines. They went back home on a large makeshift boat, and I then played follow-up games about them dealing with the trauma of what had happened to them.

I wrote a lot of songs about unicorns stabbing people I didn’t like to death with their horns.

I talked to strangers a lot, and I thought everyone I spoke to was my friend. Except for that girl who’s dad was stronger than mine, she was my worst enemy even though I never saw her again. I would tell them really weird, personal things, too. I remember once when I got lost in the store, I just waltzed right up to this poor elderly couple to regale them with tales of how I kept getting bloody noses because I picked my nose too much, until my parents found me and dragged me away from them, apologizing profusely right before I got the chance to move on to the topic of peeing my pants.

Now I love Halloween and Horror, but I used to be absolutely petrified of that stuff. I couldn’t set foot into the Spirit Halloween store without sobbing like a baby until I was 11 years old.

I played a lot of melodramatic “Grey’s Anatomy” type games where I was dying in the hospital.

I once woke my parents up in the middle of the night singing “We Will Rock You” by Queen.

When I was a toddler, I absolutely loved “Walk” by Pantera.

I used to take the head off of my toy horse and put it in my dad’s bed.

I used to dress my Elmo toy up as Hitler and put him in my dad’s bed.

I pretended I was a little angel around adults, but when I was around other kids, I was a huge jerk who bossed everyone around all the time. I don’t know how my best friend put up with it all these years. She was basically my minion in the beginning of out relationship. She liked me more than I liked her, and I just ordered her around, and she happily obeyed my every word. But sometimes I would make kids cry or get mad and start attacking me. I may have pretended to be big and powerful, but I was really a weakling.

I wrote a series of books about a floating green head who went on adventures with his friends, Stick Figure, Sarah, Cookie, and Vampire Rabbit.

Whenever I would visit my cousins, I would always cry because I thought they would go blind from playing video games too much. My older cousin usually tried to comfort me, while my other cousin who’s a little younger than me always got annoyed and tried to tease me and make it worse.

Okay, that last one wins all of the internet points. You are officially the strangest kid in existence.

All hail user/SadButterscotch2!

But it’s fun to be strange, right? Just as long as you grow out of most of it?

Naw, who am I kidding. Being strange is what makes us who we are.

So stay strange, fam!

The post 15 People Share the Weird Things They Did When They Were Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

10 Couples Admit How Infidelity Surprisingly Saved Their Marriage

All couples are different, and these folks are no different.

Because society says they should have broken up after one of them cheated… but things actually got stronger.

Let’s dig in…

1. It happens more than you think…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Hmmm, so you couldn’t find anybody better???

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Well, maybe regret it a little??

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Yeah, why tell anybody? It’s your business. Nobody else needs to know.

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Good for you!

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Yeah, that’s not true. People can change.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Sometimes I wonder why people can’t just talk about this stuff…

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Therapy is often part of the healing…

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Truth

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Well, Sandra Bullock didn’t stand for it…

Photo Credit: Whisper

All this just goes to show you that there’s no right or wrong way to build a strong relationship.

But I doubt these people would recommend doing this particular method more than once. ;-D

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If You Work in Customer Service, You’ll Feel These Memes in Your Soul

You may think you’ve had some bad experiences in the service industry, but you haven’t seen anything until you’ve worked that customer service desk in a retail setting. Wow. People will turn into god damned animals if they think they should be getting their money back. And god forbid if they think they should be getting something for free for their trouble.

Yes, I did work retail and, yes, I did work the customer service desk… so these 22 customer serve memes are so damn relatable.

Let’s go!

22. Isn’t this how it use to work?

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

21. Oh, it’s gonna be like that?!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

20. Fake it till you make it… to another job.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

19. Oh really?

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

18. See! SEE!!!!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

17. Well, maybe you need to customer somewhere else then!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

16. I can already tell this is going to end badly…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

15. Wait, how did I get this banana….?

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

14. Just so you know…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

13. Sorry, not sorry, but really sorry, and sorry.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

12. #TruthBomb

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

11. Hahaha, oh you retail workers and your funnies…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

10. I don’t want to be here any longer…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

9. Yesssssssssss????

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

8. All jobs. Ever.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

7. Agreed. You gave it to me. I’m taking it. Bye.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

6. Oh, some of us understand…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

5. Put Kim behind a customer service desk and watch her CRUMBLE…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

4. Why do you keep asking me this?!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

3. I’m chilling until the last possible second.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

2. All the feels…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

1. Is this a double? This seems like a double…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

Okay, I’m going to go to bed. Gotta get some sleep so I can work in the morning…

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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11 Stepparents Explain Why They’re Fed up with Their Stepkids’ Nonsense

Stepmoms and stepdads have a tough job, and you that sometimes they just want to vent. Well, now they’re in luck!

Because you can do it anonymously with this app called Whisper! Pretty cool, right?

These 11 stepparents did just that and we’re sure getting this off their chest was a HUGE relief.

Enjoy…

1. This sounds AWFUL!

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Well, you have to do something about it. You’re the adult.

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Time to have a chat with their father, yeah?

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Time to shut that shit down!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Their mom needs to step in and lay down the law.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. So… why are you still with her?

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Not cool at all.

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Yeah, this sounds unfortunately way too common…

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Listen here you little shit!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Time to move on dude… it’s over.

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Well, you are the adult here. You can’t do something about it?

Photo Credit: Whisper

What do you think? Have step kids that aren’t cool with you?

Sound off in the comments!

The post 11 Stepparents Explain Why They’re Fed up with Their Stepkids’ Nonsense appeared first on UberFacts.

12 People Come Clean About When Things Got Weird in the Jacuzzi

Sometimes sh*t gets weird in the hot tub. Or weirder than usual. Or just kind of crazy.

Yeah, you know what we’re talking about.

Here are 12 times that jacuzzis got a little woozy…

1. Winning at life

Photo Credit: Whisper

2.You bad. But you good too!

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Hmmmm… how did you LOSE them?

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Well, that’s not very sexy…

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. I imagine sex comes after all of this?

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Haha… bruh…

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. At least it was the water!

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Wait… WHAT?!?

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Time to get a new job!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Yeah, it does feel amazing…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Next level talent!

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. Yeah, that sounds about right…

Photo Credit: Whisper

Got a hot tub story? Share yours in the comments!

The post 12 People Come Clean About When Things Got Weird in the Jacuzzi appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Admit Why They Immediately Lost Interest in Their Crush

Crushes can be all-consuming, but it turns out there are things that will make them evaporate at the drop of a hat.

The 15 things below are definitely a good (bad?) start.

15. It made me feel unimportant

Back in college I was seeing a girl casually. Whenever we’d text, she’d take hours to respond to any message. It wasn’t a big deal, since most of the time it was just chatting or setting plans for the following weekend or something. It was a little annoying because it’d take a full day or two to set up plans because of the slow responses, but whatever. I’m a bad texter so I can’t really judge someone for that.

But I started to notice that when we hung out together, she’d immediately respond back to any and every text she got. She had some loud song as the ringtone that played for like 15 seconds, and set it so that her camera LED would flash constantly while it rang. Totally obnoxious and made me really notice how often she texted. I casually asked her who she was texting one time and it was just some friend from school that had sent her a meme.

After that I realized it wasn’t going to work. Being a slow texter is fine. Constantly texting while hanging out was annoying, but not a dealbreaker (especially if we were just chilling at one of our houses). But the realization that this person who was glued to her phone but didn’t feel like it was a priority to respond back to my texts made me feel unimportant so I kinda just drifted away. We stayed friends because we shared the same group of friends and it wasn’t awkward or anything. I just stopped trying to do things with just the two of us.

14. What’s so funny?

She told me her future plans to essentially become a gold digger like her mother. When I laughed it off she couldn’t see what I thought was so funny.

13. He let it slip

He let it slip that he was cheating on his SO in getting together with me. Killed that crushy feeling dead.

12. Not in person

he wouldn’t talk to me in person for some reason

11. Right out the window

We were driving down the road and she threw a Starbucks cup right out the window. Gross.

Edit: thanks for the silver! Also, I was a passenger so I couldn’t kick her out, and I’m honestly not sure it was Starbucks—but it was easier than saying “paper coffee cup”. ?

10. He’d cut me off

He would ask me questions about myself, then cut me off in the middle of my answer to talk about himself.

9. He corrected me.

Not so much a crush, but we were in the initial sentences of the conversation getting to know each other. We were describing to one another what our jobs were. He corrected me on describing my job.. stopped right there, said it wasn’t going to work out and ended the conversation..

8. She thought it was flirty and cute

Poured lemonade on my head in the middle of a fireworks show, she thought it was flirty and cute.

7. The candle had blown out

I ran into an old crush a few years back who told me he was in to dog baiting. The candle had blown out a long time ago as far as my crush was concerned but that pretty much killed any intention I had of trying to restart our friendship.

6. The hell I will!

Crush comes to my house. I explain how I’m slowly remodeling it and my plans for my house.

She then starts telling me I shouldn’t and I should do it her way, and let her take it over and let her design, decorate, and do it all. The hell I will.

5. I pretended my parents were calling

I was casually dating a 19 year old guy when I was 18. He seemed totally normal until I met him at his house before a date and his mom asked him to take the garbage out before we left. He threw a fit that would embarrass most 3 year olds including crying, yelling at his mom, and punching the floor.

I pretended that my parents were calling and needed me to come home, blocked his number, and never saw him again.

4. Now’s the time!

Met a woman, thought she seemed cool. We went out to eat, she’s telling me about how she fell on financial hard times and moved back in with her parents. The way she described it, just sounded like she got unlucky, not that she did anything irresponsible. It happens. When the bill came I told her I’d pay. She said, “Thanks, I appreciate that, I’m trying to save my money right now.”

Me: “Sure, I understand, you want to get your own place again.”

Her: “No, actually I mean I’m trying to save up $500 for a tattoo I want to get.”

I’ve got nothing against spending money on tattoos, but when you’ve just spent a first date talking about the financial troubles you have, maybe now’s the time to start putting money away for necessities, not tattoos.

3. Not ok and not cool!

Said she would turn up on a date, then flaked. Told me she had been called into work urgently. I said ok that’s cool. Second time she flaked again said that she had to tutor someone. Which made no sense because would you not have that planned ?

2. I didn’t want to take advantage

I went on two dates with a girl when I was in college.

She was wonderful but immediately wanted to be “official” and started drafting Instagram posts about “us”. She wanted to spend every day together and have sleep overs every night. it was so out of nowhere and we literally knew nothing about one another.

I tried to look past it but she asked me to be her first and I got uncomfortable. she seemed naive and I didn’t want to take advantage. I suggested we take things slow and she took offense. I cut things off and her reaction was super childish.

All of this in a 3 week period.

Sweet girl but the pacing was off.

1. Completely one-sided

Went on a date with them and they didn’t ask me anything about myself.

It was completely one sided—like a job interview or something.

I’m a guy, by the way.

The more you know!

The post 15 People Admit Why They Immediately Lost Interest in Their Crush appeared first on UberFacts.

Brave Women Are Sharing Their Abortion Stories with the Hashtag #YouKnowMe

Right now is a scary time to be a woman in America.

People who support a woman’s right to choose what she does with her reproductive health are trying anything they can to make sure the message is spread far and wide that even if people don’t think they know somebody who has had an abortion… they do.

A lot of people have shared their story, but Busy Philipps recently shared a story on her talk show about her experience…

Busy also shared some statistics… with the hashtag #YouKnowMe

Folks, 25% of all women have had an abortion at some point in their lives. If you didn’t know that stat before, now you do.

Naturally, people are taking up the hashtag and sharing their stories…

Yes, women will die.

Lots and lots of women.

And it doesn’t matter what their reason is..

Because these are incredibly difficult choices…

And without those choices, women literally lose their rights as human beings…

Because imagine a world where rapists just get to have children because they commit a crime…

And the only option being a hotel room in the middle of nowhere…

Women need to be able to plan their lives…

Without fear of consequence for ONE moment taking over their entire life…

Again, these are health care decisions, first and foremost…

And nobody should ever make that decision for another person.

Yes, we all know somebody who had an abortion. And their reasons, while their own, are completely justifiable.

Anybody who tells you differently is just trying to interfere with a woman’s civil rights.

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Honest People Admit Dumb Things They Did While Completely Blackout Drunk

How many of us have reached that stage where your memory just shuts off? Because if you have, you remember it. Well, sort of.

See, you remember NOT remembering. Because that’s a VERY strange feeling. You could have been walking around, talking, being silly, and your memory just shut off.

That’s what happened to these 19 people and they, thankfully, lived to tell the tales!

1. Well, hopefully that didn’t end up messy…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Yeah, understand this feeling…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Okay then… secrets revealed… again!

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. “Yeah, can you delete that pls? Thx.”

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Yikes! With friends look those…

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Haha, well, you weren’t wrong!

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Yeah, I’d worry too!

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Well… that’s one way to do it!

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. And there ya have it! Our winner!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. That’s bound to happen…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Well, that’s a win!

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. How do you know he’s not…?

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. At least you’re a happy drunk!

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. Well, sounds like you spent some more time in South America…

Photo Credit: Whisper

15. Jeezus…

Photo Credit: Whisper

16. Almost Whitney Houston’d it…

Photo Credit: Whisper

17. Well, you’re quite the asshole…

Photo Credit: Whisper

18. Hahahaha… oh boy…

Photo Credit: Whisper

19. Yes, sometimes it gets messy AF!

Photo Credit: Whisper

Your worst blackout situation?

Share what you can remember in the comments!

The post Honest People Admit Dumb Things They Did While Completely Blackout Drunk appeared first on UberFacts.

20 Very Happy People Share Why Being Single Is Totally Worth It

This was the question on Reddit:

“Singles of Reddit, what do you like most about being single?”

And hey, being single does have its downsides, but these folks are having NONE of that. They love being single. And they have their reasons.

Let’s get it…

1. What if you slept in different beds…

“You don’t wake up because someone else is snoring.”

2. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

“You know the feeling you get the first time you have your house to yourself?

It’s kinda like that — you get to do what you want, the way you want.”

3. Sleep is important ya’ll!

“Being able to sleep diagonally across my bed — so much space!”

4. Beat the heat

“I was single for almost all of my twenties. I miss setting the thermostat to whatever temperature I want.”

5. You couldn’t do this?!?

“Being able to go to the movies alone!”

6. Naturally…

“I can flirt with every cute person I meet — and there are MANY.”

7. So many reasons…

“Not having to share a bed.

Not having to share your food.

Your space. Your free time. Your time out with friends.

But best of all …

Not having to have unnecessarily long discussions on where to eat.”

8. Focusing on your own damn life…

“I enjoy not worrying about their success.

Life can be difficult, so supporting an S.O. while putting personal struggles on the back burner can be exhausting.”

9. Two very good reasons for long term happiness

“I save a fucking boatload of money and can do what I please.”

10. Yeah, texting is the worst.

“Not having to worry about texting someone back.”

11. Bonus!

“Everything in my car and apartment is exactly where it should be.”

12. Pfffftttttttt

“I can fart whenever. No guilt.”

13. Ladies… why the jealousy?

“The fact that I can just talk to my female friends and no one gets jealous or gets the wrong impression.”

14. People should be okay with needing space, anyway.

“That stuff can just happen.

If I want to change my entire weekend plans, bam — done. If I stumble upon a thing that happens and want to participate, boom — done.

If I don’t want to talk to anyone, ka-blam — done.”

15. Yeah, this kind of stuff isn’t fair at all.

“Not getting dragged into lame events with her family that essentially ruin my weekend.”

16. Literally you do not anymore. Yes.

“I don’t have to choose between hanging with my friends or my S.O.”

17. Laughter is the best medicine…

“I never have to laugh at unfunny memes found on Facebook, or explain why I’m laughing so hard at anything.”

18. Taking care of your own damn self for a change!

“I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.

I can spend money on myself with zero regard for what anyone else thinks.

I don’t have to factor anyone else into my plans or life decisions.”

19. Why do people move things?!?

“The fact that when you put something somewhere IT FUCKING STAYS THERE!!!”

20. Mobile AF!

“Being able to move to another city and state as I please for work or hobby-related purposes.”

Oddly enough… not a lot of mention of sex, though…

Just saying…

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15 People Share the Weirdest Date They’ve Ever Been on

Dating is odd. Sometimes you hit the jackpot, but most of the time…well, you know.

AskReddit users were nice enough to share their most cringeworthy date experiences for your reading pleasure. Share yours in the comments!

1. Run!

“Met with a girl in a dark university bar. Everything is going well. We eventually go outside because there is a mechanical bull we are goin to try. As soon as she gets on the bull, I realize she is at least 10 years older than she claimed and has a rotten meth tooth. After asking her a few questions, she admits that she has two kids outside of the state and has no interest in them.

She also admits to having a girlfriend with whom she is not sexual. She is physical with her though. She starts showing me pictures of her girlfriend with bound breasts…like ropes around them bonding them. This girlfriend of hers is white, but her breasts are black from being beaten in while bound. I was young and completely unprepared for this. We ended the night early and I even got the courage to tell her I wasn’t interested instead of ghosting her like I truly wanted to do.”

2. He knew she was a keeper

“Probably the 2nd date with my now wife. Some guy paid me to get revenge on a buddy of his and wanted me to scatter a few hundred pounds of potatoes into his buddies front yard. It was near where I was planning on taking my now wife and she said she would be cool with helping. So we drove to this guys house, made sure he was not home, filled his yard and driveway with potatoes together then went on our date.”

3. Meet my father

“I went on a date with a guy named Dan when I was in my late teens. Dan said “I’d like you to meet my father, he’s going to love you”

So I got in the car and as we started heading out of town I asked where we were going and Dan said “you’ll see, we’re almost there”

15 minutes later we pull I to a cemetery and he says come with me, I was nervous as I followed him down a little hill and he kneeled down in front of a tombstone and said “dad, she’s going to be my wife someday”.

That was the first and last date Dan and I ever had.”

4. Two tales

“I will tell about both worst weird, and best weird because, I can’t really pick one

Worst weird was this guy that was a avid hiker like me, and suggested we do a quite easy, very known and travelled circuit by the coast. The weather was great ( sunny, windy, the very best for a hike) but.. The guy spend the three hours of the circuit reciting BY HEART all the people having committed suicide on the path ( a part of it was near a cliff so people used to go Sprotch when they wanted to cancel their subscription to Life ™ ) and he knew. Just. So. Many. I mean, it was odd at first, creepy soon after and quickly descended into terrifying. Needless to say no second date was had.

Weird cute one was with a guy I dated for some time after: we were just sipping coffee on a bench when his phone went off : his brother’s wife had gone into early labor and said brother was freaking out, and in his soon to be a dad way ahead of plan frenzy, shouted: ” the baby’s room isn’t even painted!”. Cue my date leaping in with a ” I got this, stay with your wife!” , pocketed his phone, turned to me and went ” I have a double of his keys.. wanna help me paint the room ?”
“What, like, now?”

“Yep”

“Ho. ok”

And we spent half a day painting a kid’s room. That was fun, all things considered!”

5. Don’t tell anyone you’re a mechanic

“I have a bad habit of telling people I’m a mechanic too early into knowing them because I really enjoy it and I like talking about it. The last date I had involved about 20 minutes of us actually talking to each other about things like school, what books we’re reading, and video games. When we get to the part about what we do for a living, I tell her I’m a mechanic. She immediately drops all conversation and begs me to go fix her car right then and there.

I’m a little too nice of a person and couldn’t say no at that moment, so we pay for our drinks and leave. As soon as I see her car I know I made a mistake, it’s been recently wrecked and should not have been on the road. She then starts to tell me about how a friend of hers says it only needs a few repairs and it should be good to go, when in reality it probably should have been totaled with how bad the front end was caved in.

I tell her this and she starts yelling at me saying I must not know what I’m doing, then says I need to fix it anyway and that she needs to borrow my car to go run some errands at 10:30 at night. I tell her no, and that I’ll call her a tow truck since I have AAA, and that I don’t think we’re going to work out. It’s been 3 weeks since then and I still get calls from her asking her what’s wrong with her car.”

6. Cat-fished

“I essentially got cat-fished by a coworker. There had been some mutual attraction months before but I decided it wasn’t a good idea and told her we should just be friends. Then she made a fake online dating profile, used her knowledge of my likes/dislikes to attract me to this profile, carried on extensive communication pretending to be someone else, and then showed up to our date expecting me to suddenly fall head over heels in love with her.

She showed up at the date and I asked her what she was doing there, she replied “I think you know why I’m here” and I got in my car and left without saying anything. Eight years later and her cubicle is still 15 feet away from mine.”

7. Sounds a little unhinged

“So many adventures, so I’ll stick with the highlights. Dinner seemed to go all right, except that he drank most of a shared pitcher of margaritas by himself, then drank all the liquor I had at home. I was kind of irked, so we go searching for more.

The first place was closing up (it’s Sunday), so he goes up and bangs on the windows, loudly demanding that they sell us some beer and calling them assholes while I die of embarrassment. At the next place, after they served us, he casually said, “Oh yeah, I don’t have any money, so you’re going to have to get that.” (Not that I expected him to pay for my beer, but he expected me to pay for for his.)

In conversation, he mentioned that his favorite book was Ulysses and compared himself to Jack Kerouac. I asked him what kind of movies he liked, only for him to snottily retort that he watches “films.” He had me read a short story he wrote that, frankly, was pretty terrible, but when I offered polite criticism, he got angry and said I just didn’t understand. That was the problem with being a “natural writer,” he said. No one understands.

At one point during the evening he wanted to check on his dog. He said it wasn’t far, but it turned out to be a long drive to the middle of nowhere. Nothing was open, and I had to piss really bad. It was the most resentful roadside pee imaginable.

After he snapped at me about not understanding his writing, I said I was tired and he should go. He asked me for $3.00 for gas. I wanted him gone so much I actually gave it to him.

I later found out that he had a huge coke problem, and he told the mutual friend who set us up that we had sex that night but that I ghosted him after. The ghosting part was true, anyway.”

8. A whole series of them

“Mine is a series of dates that led to the weirdest one.

I was a student at a big state school and it was very possible to meet someone at a party and never see them again. I chatted with a woman a few times who was always interesting and engaging. She was a Christian and outspoken about her faith. I’m cool with that, but I’m not all that outspoken myself.

I asked her out to dinner and a movie after the second or third time of running into her and chatting and she said yes. I wanted to keep it traditional and do the whole date thing, so I cleaned up and picked her up to go to a restaurant and a movie. It went well. We hugged, said our goodbyes, and that was it.

We wound up going out again for a drink or something and things seemed to go okay a second time. It was sort of platonic, but we never had a conversation where we said that we were just going to be friends or something else. In either case, we were definitely going on dates.

So, I invited her out on my signature move- a canoe trip on a local river. It’s spring-fed, crystal-clear, and there are a number of deep springs with floating docks. It’s a great time. We both worked retail and had a day off in the middle of the week so that was the plan.

When she got in the truck, she was surprised to hear that she would be needing a bathing suit to go canoeing (?) and so we stopped at Target for her to buy one. I received specific instructions to stay in the truck while she shopped. No big deal.

When she got back to the truck, she let me know that she bought a two piece because all of the one piece bathing suits didn’t work. Awesome. Things are going swimmingly. Except she followed up with “it doesn’t matter. You will never see me in a bathing suit anyway.” That was weird, but okay.

The canoeing was fun. We swam. She swam in a T shirt. That was weird. But, overall, we had fun. On the way back to town, I asked if she wanted to order a pizza and watch a movie. She said she couldn’t, because she and her roommate had a policy that boys were not allowed over alone. Then she backed up and said that well, since these weren’t dates and we weren’t dating, that it would be okay for me to come over, but I had to leave by 9:00.

Hold up, I said. These are dates. She got all weird about how these weren’t dates, that we were just friends, and that she was not going to date. God would provide her with a husband on his accord. Right, I said. And these are dates. I’m not sure how you missed that.

She went on to talk about dating and marriage and then dropped that she knew I wasn’t the one because God told her that her husband was a baseball player. She knew that her husband was going to be a baseball player and she would consider going on a date with a baseball player, but it would be a stretch.

I rescinded my offer to watch a movie and order a pizza, and that I didn’t think I was interested in going down this road. Shortly after, she called my phone about a dozen times in a row because she had a flat tire and wanted me to come change it. I told her to check with the baseball team.

Epilogue- Some time later I was at a party, standing around a keg, and doing normal college student stuff when one bro asked another bro if he remembered to invite his girlfriend to the party. People in the know laughed and eventually the story came out that this random girl would come to every baseball practice and every baseball game by herself, stare, and pray. She’d try and interject herself in awkward and creepy ways and she would randomly show up wherever they were. This was pre-social media, so it had to have taken a lot of effort to make this happen.

So, there you go. Don’t not date crazy religious women who are betrothed to collegiate athletes.”

9. Impostor

“The guy faked an Italian accent the entire time.

He was from Florida.”

10. Okay…

“Once had a girl get up and go to the bathroom during a make-out session. Came back with her head shaved.

I asked why she did that, she told me her “head was too hot” and she “had been thinking about doing it for a while”

Okay.

Made out for a little while longer until I could think of an excuse and got the hell out of there.”

11. Oh my

“I’ve got a weird one

met a girl at a bar

went back to her place

she did the whole whipped cream bikini thing

the whipped cream was spoiled

I muscle through sour whipped cream

30 minutes into fun time her daughter walks in on us that I didn’t even know was there or that she even had kids

another 15 minutes and her Aunt & Uncle walk in on us… yeah- wasn’t even her house but her Aunts.

She then breaks down in tears and starts telling me about being abused and her old heroin addiction.

then proceeded to tell me about her 2 other kids

I nope right the fuck out of there

a week or so later I see in the newspaper that she was in a car accident and died

surviving family members in the obituary included her current husband.”

12. Getting back out there

“First date after a broken engagement for me.

This girl kept telling me how much she wanted to go on a date with me off tinder. I was hesitant but she was persistent. Well, we got to the coffee shop and had some really nice conversation. Then she said she had some coworkers down the street that were at the Arcade Bar playing in a Mario Kart competition and if I would like to join in? Hell yes! We went down, got some beers and met the coworkers, super cool dudes.

She spent the rest of the night dodging around the bar trying to avoid them. Kept telling me how weird it was that they were here… uhh yeah but this was YOUR idea girl. Then she went to the bathroom and as she was getting up looked and me and said,

“can I bring my beer or are you going to drug me?”

Me “Uhh, what?”

“Are you going to drug me?”

“No, why the hell would I do that?”

“Ok.” Gets up to leave… “Actually, i’m going to bring my beer.”

Then when she gets back..

“My mom isn’t going to like YOU.”

Me “Uhh, ok why not?”

“You have me drinking on a thursday, I never do this. I can’t believe you made me.”

me “All of this was your idea, every single thing about it!”

Then when I walked her back to her car, she sprinted the last block to her car, got in and drove off. Then texted me telling me what a great time she had and if we could set up a time to meet again.

Edit: since people are enjoying this.

I had another tinder date with a second girl.

She invited me over to watch a movie. I came over and she was watching a movie with her roommate. They were already 25 minutes into the movie when I got there.

They didn’t want to talk while they watched the movie either.

So I sat awkwardly for two hours at a movie I didn’t know what was going on in. And neither of them would tell me what was happening.

Then movie ended and I got the hell out of there.”

13. Hi mom!

“Tinder date. Woke up to her mom knocking on her locked bedroom door and she made me hide under her bed while she had a full conversation with her mother.

She had her own apartment.”

14. AWKWARD

“I was on an exchange program with a French school and matched with one of the girls in my class on tinder. We didn’t speak before but we made an appointment via messages to meet at her place to watch a movie. We then realized that I didn’t speak French at all and that she could only communicate with me because she put everything I wrote and everything she wanted to say into google translator but she didn’t speak a single word in English.

So we watched a Movie and tried not to be awkward. I wanted to make a move but not being able to speak with her made it very weird for me I don’t exactly know why. So I didn’t do anything and when the movie ended there was a long uncomfortable silence… that was probably the most awkward moment in my life.”

15. Just like a Seinfeld episode

“She talked about herself in the 3rd person the whole time. I didn’t realize until the date was almost over that she did not have a best friend with the same name as her.”

The post 15 People Share the Weirdest Date They’ve Ever Been on appeared first on UberFacts.