Category: reddit

Posted on

Inexpensive Items That People Claim Drastically Improved Their Lives

There are some things we buy and we know that they’re frivolous.

Other items we expect big things from (because maybe they came with big price tags) only to be disappointed, the thing relegated to the back of a closet where we don’t have to look at it and be reminded.

Then there are the times – rare as they may be – when we buy something inexpensive that we want to try, and our lives end up the better for it every single day.

These 16 people claim these items – all less than $50 – drastically changed their lives for the better.

16. I hate cleaning it and putting it away though.

A non-stick electric griddle. You can cook a bunch of stuff on that thing.

adding to the list:

A coffee maker and a knock off Yeti tumbler. You can save a crap ton of money that way.

15. Anyone else want to jump ship?

Affinity Photo on sale for 25$, I could leave Photoshop and the whole Adobe Creative suite nonsense behind me. No more monthly payments. Just these 25$ once and I won the thing.

Other thing was a used line tool for architects for 3€ (normal price is 25€), making comic panels never was easier

14. If you don’t already have one.

Pocket/Swiss army knife or multi tool

I have 2 that I keep on my at all times and use them pretty much daily

13. The longer the better (heh).

3 metre long charging cable.

I got a 10 ft USB extension cable to a friend who was recovering from surgery at a hospital. He told me that was the best present he ever got, his words “in my life”.

12. It is revolutionary.

Electric toothbrush.

Speaking of oral care, I bought a tongue scraper on amazon 8 years ago on a whim. I can’t believe I wasn’t scraping my tongue before. The amount of plaque that I get off with that thing every morning is astounding and my breath is so much better now.

11. As someone with a bad back, this sounds nice.

Something called “the helping hand”. Its basically a litter picker (which was actually invented for the disabled btw).

I am disabled and a wheelchair user. My occupational therapist gave me this years ago to help me get things out of high up kitchen cupboards etc.

I still have it and it has been a life changer!

10. For the writing nerds.

This one mechanical pencil that I bought in high school or earlier. I’ll graduate college soon which means I’ve been writing with the same pencil for somewhat 10 years. It fits perfectly between my fingers.

I’ve kept a traditional diary since I was a kid and it has become more and more important since hardly anything requires paper and a pencil today. So many memories from the happiest moments to the absolute worst have been written down using this pencil.

I have a few other pencils as well but they don’t feel right and eventually I’ll put them away and return to my old friend.

9. Learned this from my parents.

A butter dish/butter tray. Room temp butter always available. No more fucking with trying to spread hard butter out of the fridge.

8. Is he on YouTube?

About 20 years ago I bought a 3 VHS tape set that showed me this guy, Sepp Holzer, doing pond and gardens and raising animals in a way far better than I imagined. It has been the core of my life ever since.

7. They almost make winters bearable.

A heated blanket, dont know how I ever survived winters before this.

My bedroom is in the attic and it gets cold. Due to how stuff is wired the heating in my room only goes on when it’s cold downstairs, but since it doesn’t get that cold downstairs my heating never starts up.

This has saved me so much cold nights curled up in a ball at night trying to warm up, it’s amazing

6. I didn’t know there was a way to fix that!

Sheet suspenders!

I toss and turn a lot and would have to fix the fitted sheet every morning

5. Omg this is a thing?

Try a heated mattress pad. They are more efficient has the heat rises and gets trapped by the blankets. Most also have a zone for your feet.

4. If that’s your sort of thing…

A $1 corkscrew that I keep in my car.

The amount of times I have been the hero because of this you wouldn’t believe

3. For people without small children.

A coffee grinder. Buying whole beans and grinding them yourself gives infinitely better coffee than buying pre-ground.

2. I like the enthusiasm.

I do a lot of IT-ish things, so I decided it would be a good idea to get a backpack for my laptop. And backpack means IT’S KIT TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!! All kinds of pockets and whatnot for all life’s basic concerns.

Stanley 6 way screwdriver? Done. Chargers & battery packs? Yep. Whatever random crap? Probably!

The amont of times I’ve been The Guy with whatever completely basic thing is insane. It’s not like the pack is busting with tools.

1. That’s quite an endorsement.

Rainex

If there is one product I would sell door to door, this is it (please don’t let it come to that)

 

Definitely putting some of these things in my cart to try.

What would you add to this list? I would say a battery jump box to replace your jumper cables!

The post Inexpensive Items That People Claim Drastically Improved Their Lives appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Items That Don’t Cost Much, But That People Say Improved Their Lives

When you’re thinking about spending your hard-earned cash on something, many people hem and haw regardless of the price tag. The more we spend, the more we expect our purchase to work out the way we imagined – to make our lives easier or more fun or more colorful or just more streamlined, maybe.

If you’re looking for those magical items – the ones that don’t cost much but are 100% worth the money – these 18 people have some solid leads.

18. Hey, old people things work.

My 9$ pill organizer.

Friends have laughed at me because it seems like an old people thing, but I‘ve finally managed to stick to my meds (yes, ironically my ADHD is so bad I couldn‘t even get that done). To me this was a real life changer!

Bonus points: I‘m the only one who knows which day it is during the pandemic.

17. It’s always the little things.

It’s a small thing: a closet rod installed above my washer/dryer, and extra hangers.

Now clothes get taken out of the dryer and put on a hanger right away rather than end up as a pile on the floor, or in a basket never to be properly put away.

16. Comfortable beds are always worth it.

Fluffy duvet covers

My bed was always cold but now it’s not £12 for single £15 for double.

15. Just like a hotel.

Curved shower rod.

14. Electric kettles come in SO handy.

A rice cooker and electric kettle.

I used to sometimes eat rice and drink tea.

I now eat rice and drink tea all the time!

13. A game changer.

A cheap microwave and coffee maker for my work van.

I have an inverter for my tools that I use to run them.

Hot coffee and hot lunches make a huge difference, especially on bad days.

12. This sounds sensible.

Solar power battery pack. Power went out during the hurricane and I was still up and running for 5 days.

11. A simple solution.

My apartment has like no counter space, in reality only a total of 5 feet spread through three areas next to the sink and stove.

I spent like $15 on a 4 foot table. That now holds all my kitchen stuff like toaster, distiller, crock pot, and instant pot. It has just enough room for all that.

Since it is a common question, the distiller is for purifying water. It boils water then collects the steam and condenses it back to water in a pot on the side. It is the exact same process as how to make stronger alcohol, but this is a higher temperature so it leaves behind solids that I clean out once a week. I like pure water and I get all my minerals from my foods. I enjoy cooking so I choose menu items that get all my minerals.

10. Buy them for cons, keep them for life.

Battery pack to charge your phone.

We’ve all been in situations where having your phone on is super important, and not having to be tied to an outlet is even better.

9. You can’t go wrong.

11 pound capacity digital kitchen scale. For baking, cooking and correctly identifying portion sizes.

It has changed the way I bake. No more trying to make the measuring cup level, or worrying about the compactness of my flour. I even buy the large block of butter instead of the more expensive 1/2 cup sticks because I can just weigh it out. Just put the mixing bowl on the scale and tare after each ingredient

8. All of these are on point.

Gonna sound silly but a good set of three different sized stainless steel whisks. You would not believe how much easier making sauces and eggs are with these.

Also a whiteboard to keep on the fridge, makes it easier to note down what you are low on or out of.

7. Pet owners everywhere rejoice.

A rubber bristled broom. I have two dogs and two cats, and my house is all hardwood and tile.

A regular broom just sends the fur floating everywhere, but my rubber broom keeps it all nice and tidy and easy to pick up.

It works on my area rug and upholstered furniture, too!

6. Cheaper than noise-cancelling headphones.

Earplugs.

They saved my final exams in high school when my sister and her 1.5 and 3yo kids tornadoed through the whole house.

5. Like a bath, but less germy.

Shower chair.

I’ve got a f**ked up back and I initially got it for that but even if my back was fine I’d still have one, they’re so useful.

If you shave your legs, you won’t regret it.

4. I would definitely like to try this.

A wake up light alarm clock. The light turns on gradually and wakes you up gradually rather than waking up to obnoxious beeping. Makes the start of my day more positive.

3. I need one of these.

Hot water bottle. I live in cold Scandinavia and have chronic pain. It gets used pretty much all year around.

I recently backed a Kickstarter campaign for the heat bag. It’s made by the guys that also made the ostrich pillow.

It has a clay core you can boil or put in the microwave. When heated, you can put it into a kind of pillow. Thick, soft and insulated on one side and silky on the other side. It feels amazing and keeps the heat longer because of the insulation.

This thing is amazing! I gifted it to my girlfriend for Christmas and she loves it.

2. A good night’s sleep is worth a million bucks.

Weighted blanket and/or A Good Pillow.

Your sleep quality will improve.

Being well rested has to be one of the few good things to happen to me in 2020.

1. Both will definitely improve your life.

A foldable laptop stand for $15.

Always thought you didn’t need this stuff, how different from without one can it be – but it does wonders for my neck.

Travels everywhere with me now.

Also: a 2mm phone cable. It’s the s**t.

I’ll definitely be following up on some of these, how about you?

Which ones are already in your Amazon cart? Tell us in the comments!

The post Items That Don’t Cost Much, But That People Say Improved Their Lives appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Weird Events People Absolutely Can’t Explain

Weird things happen every day.

That said, about 99% of those events can, with enough consideration and time and space, be explained by logic and common sense.

The 1% of the time they can’t are where the fears of the paranormal, of roaming ghosts, of invisible hands, and other things that go bump in the night live – and these 14 people with some seriously strange stories.

14. Well that sounds terrible.

I had a sleep paralysis nightmare when I was a kid, where I saw a red-eyed dark figure standing in the doorway. It’s always stuck with me, and I’ve called him the boogeyman ever since.

One day I was browsing Reddit and somebody painted a picture of their “sleep paralysis demon”. It was like the guy had painted my exact dream. And then a bunch of people commented that they had seen the same creature.

It always makes me uneasy to think about.

13. That’s definitely unique.

When I was younger, in elementary school, I used to have the same dream every weekend starting on Saturday (when I would go to sleep) and then waking up in the middle of the night (on Sunday) and throwing up.

The dream was always a bunch of numbers. Not even anything happening just a bunch of random jumbled up numbers all over the place. I never understood why that happened where the same dream would happen on the same night every week and I would throw up every single time.

I always think about it and wonder what it was or if it was just some weird coincidence. Also I would not have any signs of being sick before or after. Maybe someone else has experienced this???

12. Out of the blue.

Both of my lungs collapsed at the same time (almost over 50% collapsed) and I was walking around like I was perfectly normal. Until I decided to go to the ER for bubble sounds in my chest. None of the doctors could figure out why this had happened to me. They didn’t know how I was just up and walking around and laughing

1. I am a 5’7” thin woman. I have heard it is very common in tall and thin men. 2. Yes, it was bilateral pneumothorax, Dr. just couldn’t figure why it happened. 3. I ended up having four more spontaneous pneumothorax within the span of two years. I am still a mystery in that hospital 4. I was aged 19-21 when this was happening. 26 years old now. 5.

They did pleurodesis procedure to get it to stop happening.

Hasn’t happened since.

11. A past life.

I have a vivid memory of being at the Statue of Liberty as a child, on my dad’s shoulders, seeing the skyline of NYC. I remember what we ate for lunch that day, etc. I remember the ferry we took. I’ve always thought about this memory and talked about it, but my family denies I ever went to NYC.

I didn’t go for the first time until I was 23, but strangely enough, when I went, I remembered everything just how it had been when I was there with my dad.

10. Like it was nothing.

When I was in college, a drunk dude fell from a 3rd floor balcony and got up and walked away like it was nothing.

Seriously one of the weirdest/freakish things I’ve ever seen in my life.

9. Maybe it was the cat?

 in my teenage years I lived in a townhome owned by my then-stepdad who freely admitted he thought the place was haunted. He was self employed as a sound equipment installer and often would come and go during the day & my mom worked 9-5 at a law firm. It was summer break, but I wasn’t driving yet. I spent a lot of time outside and this was before the time everyone had a cell phone, so I’d often take our cordless home phone outside with me. I went outside one day, and realized I’d forgotten the phone. When I tried to go back inside to get it, the door was locked. Not the handle – which I may have written off as something I accidentally did on my way out – the deadbolt. The handle freely turned but the deadbolt was engaged. The deadbolt that requires a key to lock from the outside, which I did not have.

I stood there dumbfounded for a few minutes. Nobody else was home, & the only other entrance to the house was a set of sliding doors in the basement that were always locked. What the fuck just happened. I kept trying to open it like an idiot for a while before finally resigning myself to borrowing the neighbors phone & calling my stepdad. He was in town & after asking me if i was sure 1,000 times, came by to unlock the door. I’ll never forget him saying “yep, the deadbolt was completely thrown. I can’t explain that.” I spent the rest of the afternoon inside, trying to recreate the situation. I slammed the door shut so many times in an attempt to get the deadbolt to wobble and lock itself. But it never did, & honestly I didn’t expect it to.

8. Better safe than sorry.

On Reddit one night, I read that thread where the OP hallucinated weird stuff until a commenter suggested that he check for a carbon monoxide leak. The commenter probably saved his life. I went to bed thinking, “Oh yeah, I never did check whether my new house’s smoke alarms also detect carbon monoxide. I need to check that out in the morning.”

At maybe 6 AM, my wife and I awoke to our fire alarms screeching, with a recorded voice telling us carbon monoxide was detected. We grabbed the baby and the dog, piled into our car in the driveway, and called the fire department to check it out. After they tested, they told us no carbon monoxide was detected, but sometimes fire alarms behave unexpectedly when their batteries are low.

This was maybe 5 years after moving into a house that’s new construction, so yes, I was super delinquent in checking it. It wasn’t even the first time I’d read that story on Reddit. Anyway, there is absolutely a logical explanation: an improbable but possible coincidence. But that’s how I ended up spending huge piles of money on a bunch of Nest Protect units, so I could at least get a pleasant phone notification when my alarms’ batteries are low.

7. They didn’t believe her.

This afternoon I had about 30 minutes between class and practice and I drove home to get a snack. When I got there, my mom was at work & my stepdads van was gone so I assumed he was gone as well. The door was locked. Now when you walk into this home, right in front of you to the left is the kitchen, the right is my bedroom, & the middle has a staircase going downstairs. I unlocked the door, came inside, and turned into the kitchen with my back to the staircase. As I was making a sandwich, I heard someone downstairs. I turned back around & the staircase door was open, stairwell light was on, & someone was clearly downstairs.

At the time I thought “wasn’t that door closed when I got here?” but I also rationalized, because my stepdads van was a cargo van & it wasn’t uncommon for someone to borrow it to haul things. So I assumed he was home, his van was borrowed, & I went to the top of the stairs. I stood there, looking down the stairs, eating my sandwich & I almost said something. It was almost out of my mouth, but something stopped me. I still don’t know why I didn’t yell HI JAY down the stairs. Instead I turned around & left, and I left the door unlocked because he was home, right??

When I got back from practice my mom was mad at me because Jay said he came home around 5pm to an unlocked house. He had a lot of expensive equipment in the basement. I was always to lock the door. I tried telling her what I’d seen. He was home at 4. She said he wasn’t. I swore he was. Something was home. My brother believed me, but my mom never did.

6. Who was he?

My dad owned a small garden shop, so I’d stay behind the checkout after school till the shop closed. This was until I see a tall man wearing all black, like a trench coat, walking past my dad and smiling at me before going into a staff only area.

I jump up to stop him, even though I was 7. This back area filled with new shipments. I turn the corner but nobody is there. There was nowhere he could’ve gone.

I ask my dad to check the CCTV after closing, but it’s only shown me jumping up and running, and running out of frame. Weird stuff, never felt comfortable there again.

5. There was ice in her veins.

I lived in a shitty trailer in my early 20s when I was poor with 2 young kids. It had 2 bedrooms, which I’d given to the kids, & I slept on the couch in the living room which was in direct line of sight to the front door. I put the kids to bed around 9pm, and I always locked the door. Always. I still to this day clearly remember locking both the handle & deadbolt & checking to make sure it was fully locked before taking a shower. Eventually I fell asleep. I woke up suddenly around 3am on high alert. As my eyes cleared & I started thinking sensibly… I realized I was staring into the street. My front door was wide open. Not like oh it’s a little open or cracked or I didn’t quite close it all the way and a strong wind came along… it was fully open. Like 90 degree angle here. Plus I had a glass storm door that was fully closed and latched, blocking any wind we might have had, which we didn’t have anyways.

I got up & walked to the door to close it, and that’s when I lost my shit. Y’all. The deadbolt was still in the locked position. It was fully turned to lock, sticking out into the living room air for god and everyone to see. You ever have those moments where you swear there’s ice in your veins? That was it for me. I’ve never been scared like that in my life. In a closed door, you can’t even turn the deadbolt to “fully locked” without it being lined up in the door jamb properly. I knew I’d locked that door. And yet here it was, staring me in the face. I didn’t sleep without the lights on for a week.

4. The sound was so real.

One time when I was little I had a similar experience.

I had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up in the middle of the night, when I got up to go to the kitchen I saw a black silhouette of a woman with a bun and glasses and she went into the kitchen and I heard all of pans fall, i rush into the kitchen no one is there and everything is in its place.

I know I could’ve imagined the figure but I can not explain the sound of the crashing pans and no one else heard it they were all asleep.

3. It was the lady.

My girlfriend got out of the shower and called me into the bathroom to show me the mirror. There was a very strange, distinct handprint placed on the mirror.

I lived alone and she was the only adult that had been to my house in about two years. We each placed our handprints on the sides of the mystery handprint for reference and neither look anything like the mystery print. I still have no idea how it got there.

  • I’ve lived in this house for over a decade.
  • The mirror isn’t newly installed.
  • The mirror is cleaned pretty regularly.
  • I’ve taken many showers and fogged up the mirror and have never seen it.

Not the person I bought the house from but the previous owner, she died in this house.

I was watching my neighbor’s 5 year old kid a few years prior to this and she was eating at the kitchen table. She asked me “Who was that lady that just went up stairs?” There was no lady or any other person in the house.

2. Weirdness usually reserved for twins!

I turned to the other person in the room, who I barely knew, and said “My sister is getting engaged right now,” without having the intent of speaking at all.

He politely asked why I said that, and I had to shake my head and say “I don’t know.”

A few days later I found up that, sure enough, ah that exact moment on the far side of the world, she had said “yes” to Mr. Right.

I hadn’t even known she was dating.

1. He made it happen with his mind.

When I was in primary school (like year 1-2) ;in the cafeteria there was all these cups filled with milk every lunch. Red, green, blue BUT ..only one yellow cup. Everyone would fight to get the yellow cup like it was the holy grail and it had been this way for years.

One night I had a dream that the cafeteria had gotten more yellow cups in, and low and behold the next day…

Hundreds of yellow cups.

I do not like any of these, not even the innocuous ones. I like answers!

If you’ve got a story that would fit on this list, please tell it to us in the comments!

The post Weird Events People Absolutely Can’t Explain appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

People Who Work For Dating Apps Talk About the Tricks of the Trade

I’ve barely used any dating apps. My history with them generally involves installing, swiping for a few minutes, feeling self-conscious, and uninstalling again.

But despite my non-committal interest, it’s a huge industry, and one Reddit user wanted to peek behind the curtain.

Redditors that worked with a dating company (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc.), what’s the most insane user stat or behind-the-scenes fact you found out about? from AskReddit

There were THOUSANDS of insights. Here are some of the most interesting!

1. What a job.

I have a friend who works for… I wanna say Tinder. Anyway, the company isn’t important; what is important is that her ENTIRE job is to remove inappropriate images.

Her JOB is to look at d*ck pics all day. Five days a week. That’s all. No stat.

Just a weird f*cking job.

– Lettuce-b-lovely

2. Going undercover.

My ex bf worked for the Yahoo Italy dating site back in the earlyish 2000s.

His job was to pretend to be a woman, and message male customers just as their accounts were going to expire. This would encourage them to pay to renew their subscriptions. Once they renewed, he would ghost them.

He only lasted for a few months due to how unethical it was.

– visualisewhirledpeas

3. Some solid stats.

Guys swipe right on 47% of profiles.

Women only swipe right on 12%.

I knew some guys would swipe right more than women, wasn’t prepared for how little women swipe right!

– elatedate

4. Let’s dig deep.

I ran operations for an online dating company (notably not affiliated with Match). From database analytics I can tell you a few things.

Men initiate contact around 80% of the time in straight matchmaking, and if you are a woman looking to date other women and you simply initiate contact with another woman you have a good chance of success simply because it’s very very very common for women to match but then neither initiates contact.

IIRC we were able to determine that it takes on average about 3 dates before sex happens (I don’t recall how we worked that out, I’m not a data analyst, but presumably it was some keyword based algorithm looking at chat messages).

We got so many requests for information from the police that we had an informal system with them, to save them from wasting time getting warrants for information about people who we didn’t have data on, they would ask about a particular name/email/whatever other identifier and we would just say yes we have data about them or no we don’t, and if we did they’d then go get the warrant to get a copy of it.

The other thing I can tell you from our analytics, that really shouldn’t be at all surprising, is to get some decent profile photos. Go get your talented friend or just hire a photographer to take some really nicely-lit well-composed photos of yourself and watch your match rate soar.

– jamesinc

5. Lotta fakes out there.

My old boss was the financial controller of a big dating site.

He kept on seeing these big invoices for modeling agencies and initially thought it was because of the big parties they used to host.

When he asked about it it turned out it was just content for the fake profiles they created to lure in users.

– jimpez86

6. It’s more powerful than you think.

Most dating sites and apps are owned by one company The Match Group.

They have a near monopoly.

I think bumble is one of the few not owned by them.

– HueJass84

7. Talk about ghosting.

This was years ago now, but I used to work with a guy who had been an engineer for Match.com. He said 99% of the profiles were inactive, and that 80% of the active profiles were men.

He didn’t provide numbers but also said the was a huge disparity between the average number of messages sent to women versus those sent to men.

According to him, all told the site was mostly men reaching out to dead profiles and never getting responses.

As I said however, this was years ago, so it’s entirely possible that they’ve cleaned the site up since then.

– CastSeven

8. A heartbreaking story…

A couple met on the dating app I worked on.

Unfortunately, the man passed away and the lady returned to the app where they met for remembrance.

One day, a bug in the system made some profile likes to be sent again after months and she received one from her deceased boyfriend.

Her bug report was heartbreaking.

– Sighne

9. Not so subtle.

Lots of gay guys get banned from grindr selling weed. Would get a lot of emails of “why am I banned”.

Go to their profile and will say “HMU for that ?

– PayneTrayne

10. You WHAT?

We used to create fake accounts and chat with users.

It was everything from someone having a premium account that wasn’t getting responses to bored employees.

– SupermanistheDR

11. Careful about the pics.

I never “worked” at OkCupid but years ago I reported a few profiles and then they made me a mod.

There were more fake or scam profiles than d*ck pics.

We think some profiles were reported just because someone didn’t like how they acted, but once you start image searching, you would typically find that those profiles are fake, or belong to real people that are definitely not on a dating site.

There were a bunch of accurate and proven catfish reports, and a lot of cute pets (pictures have to be of you, not your dog) and we would comment for the other mods “cute dog but breaks rules”. Also google the image of the dog and sometimes find out that it’s someone else’s dog.

– taffypulller

12. Why oh why.

I used to work at a dating site in the UK. I was on the tech side but most of the staff was a group of young women who manually approved images and text changes to profiles. There was about 10-15 of them and the turnover rate was about one a week. The work was just so mind numbing.

About 10 times a day they’ed shout that they’d “got another one”. Which basically meant one of the hundreds of thousands of men on the site has differently thought “I’ve thought of something nobody else has tried, I’ll upload a picture of my c*ck” at which point they’d all laugh at it, cancel the profile upload and go back to reading about people’s choice of pets or whatever else they thought was interesting

– mvrander

13. Everybody lies.

I worked for Match for a couple years.

This is probably widely known but women frequently lie about their age and weight and men lie about their height and salary.

Also, it’s a big problem that women are inundated with DMs while most men get none.

– ChickumNwaffles

14. Yikes.

A dude with over 2000 right swipes and no matches

– [user deleted]

15. Oh, the irony.

The creator of Match.com got cheated on.

She left him for a man she met on Match.com.

– GreyFoxNinjaFan

So the next time you use a dating app, remember, it’s a business. And when dealing with a business, you gotta look out for yourself.

Do you have a crazy dating app story?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Who Work For Dating Apps Talk About the Tricks of the Trade appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

People Shared the Popular Sayings They Do Not Think Are True

I’ve never liked the phrase “everything happens for a reason.”

I mean, I guess it’s true in the sense that effect follows cause, but the other day I left a burrito in the microwave too long and it exploded so hard I had to clean the thing out for an hour and I missed a call from my girlfriend who then thought I was ignoring her and I had to explain that no, my burrito exploded.

I’m just saying that I don’t think that was a part of any sort of elegant cosmic plan.

And I’m not the only person who has a bone to pick about these things:

What popular saying is actually bullshit? from AskReddit

What’s on the list of our linguistic pet peeves? Let’s find out.

1. Instigators

“It doesn’t matter who started it.”

Of course it f*cking does.

Even legally the concept of who did what first is recognised as vital.

– ActualTymell

2. Looks

“Looks don’t matter.”

They do. Not always, not completely, but they very much do matter.

Humans are kind of superficial in that regard.

– InAndOut51

3. Karma

‘What goes around, comes around.’

I’ve seen so many good, honest people get screwed over by toxic, immoral people who never get their comeuppance.

The concept of karma is bullsh*t.

– mogmuv

4. Practice

“Practice makes perfect!”

I had a teacher that used to point out that no, practice makes permanent.

If you practice something in an incorrect way, you’re going to perform incorrectly.

– JudahBotwin

5. Spelling

I before e except after c.

– WalkingOnPavement

6. Sleep

“Sleep is for the weak” or “I’ll sleep when I die”

Well actually, not sleeping is making you weaker and decreasing your lifespan as you gloat about it right now.

Sleep is essential people.

– byawaworht

7. Grief

Time heals all wounds.

Malarkey.

– augenwiehimmel

8. Pain

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

– Bish182

9. Bad influences

Using the phrase, “it’s just a few bad apples,” to protect an institution when the full proverb says, ” a few bad apples spoils the bunch.”

– Ohmmy_G

10. Learning

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”

You can, just the owner is a stubborn old bag.

– Darkenie

11. Hurt

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

LIES!!

– FierceMilkshake

12. Health

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

– josephgulag

13. Money

“Money can’t buy happiness.”

Poverty can’t buy anything.

– TwistyMaKneepahls

14. Knowledge

What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

While yes it’s technically true it’s also not a positive thing.

Theoretically if someone’s partner was cheating on them yes they don’t know so they can’t be hurt but it’s still a bad thing

– DaRkxDaSHeR

15. Pots

“A watched pot never boils.”

It does, I’ve checked.

– JellyRollGeorge

“Money can’t buy happiness” is an especially sticky one. Money actually CAN make you happier – right up to the point where the lack of it is no longer a cause of stress.

Past that, no, it’s not gonna have any long term positive effect on you mentally. You’re just a hoarder.

What saying do you hate?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Shared the Popular Sayings They Do Not Think Are True appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Romantic Comedy Tropes That Are Creepy in Real Life

I’ve never been a huge fan of romantic comedies…

The fact that I (typical straight dude) am not the target audience probably goes a long way toward explaining this, but even beyond that, there’s just something…troubling about them.

Someone on Reddit seems to agree with me:

What’s something that is romantic in movies but creepy in real life? from AskReddit

So, what’s going on in these flicks that you definitely wouldn’t want to encounter in real life?

Let’s break it down.

1. Why you gotta fight?

Having scream-fighting matches with your partner constantly because you’re both so “passionate” like in the notebook…like, nah bro.

You’re just incompatible.

That sh*t ain’t cute

– sloth_warlock85

2. Stay away from me.

Casually stalking who they’re pursuing.

– oatli

3. Breaking and entering.

Breaking into your crushes house and laying on their bed.

Movies: “aww he misses her that’s sweet.”

Real life: “You going to jail.”

– November_15th

4. Don’t make a scene.

An overdramatic proposal in front of a bunch of strangers.

– jackiea40

5. No means no.

Chasing someone who already said no, multiple times.

If someone is already in a relationship trying to break them up.

“Love” at first sight, no, that’s just lust and desire.

– vemisfire

6. Have a little professionalism.

Therapists dating or having sex with their patients. “Oh but they have such a deep connection!”

No, that’s a malpractice lawsuit in the making.

– against_underscores

7. Lotta hate for The Notebook out there.

In the notebook, Ryan gosling’s character literally builds a house for his ex girlfriend a decade after they split, who is now married to somebody else.

Imagine if that was real life. Imagine your teenage boyfriend out of the blue just built a house and expected you to move in with him.

Creepy af.

– jamagical12

8. Don’t be a homewrecker.

Pursuing someone who is already in a relationship

– Mango_Soda

9. They take these things seriously.

Breaking through airport security to profess your love.

Have fun getting tased and sent to prison jack*ss.

– CTHeinz

10. How did you get here?

Turning up on someone’s doorstep when they haven’t given you their address

– Toot_My_Own_Horn

11. Communication is key.

Never saying goodbye at the end of a phone call and just putting the phone down.

– Marcmmmmm

12. It’s not the Middle Ages.

Any kind of combat. Sword fights, fisticuffs, or any other kind of violence on behalf of the person you’re trying to woo.

And even if violence is called for – if you do end up being the person who physically saves a woman from harm?

That is not the time for flirting.

– PreferredSelection

13. This one is – hey wait, a minute…

Trying to get your mum and dad to fall in love at the enchantment under the sea dance but your mother ends up with the hots for you, all while trying to generate 1.21 gigawatts while driving at 88 miles per hour!

– Talonqr

14. Guys, take this seriously.

Stealing their baby brother and taking them to the castle at the center of the labyrinth to eventually turn them into a goblin.

– veegasmo

15. Ok, we’re done here.

Every male in the entire village always hitting on the one single blue female.

– MassGootz

So, maybe romantic comedies just aren’t for me. Or maybe, more and more, they really aren’t for anybody.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Romantic Comedy Tropes That Are Creepy in Real Life appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

10 “Starter Pack” Memes That Pack in the Laughs

They say that if you spend 10,000 hours on something, you’ll become an expert at that thing. They also say that the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. They’re just full of little witticisms, they are.

My point is, if you want to be the best at something, you gotta start somewhere. You’re going to need the tools. You’re going to need to learn the ways of whatever you endeavour to do. You’re going to need a starter pack.

Let these starter pack memes guide the way for you, whatever your passion may be.

10. Cat got your tongue

You move them to the tile floor and they SPECIFICALLY GO BACK BECAUSE THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE DOING.

"Where cats like to throw up" Starter Pack from starterpacks

9. Can’t see the forest for the trees

I get it, we’re all just surviving in late stage capitalism, but please at least recycle the boxes.

Ordering from Amazon starter pack from starterpacks

8. The cliche machine

“We’re through the looking glass now people.” – a thing everyone in movies says and no one has said in real life ever.

Totally original and witty movie dialogue starter pack from starterpacks

7. Femme fatales

I don’t’ know anything about the military, this is all correct as far as I know.

The Military Woman in Movies Starter Pack from starterpacks

6. Wistful looks

Not to brag or anything but I had a very high score on the imaginary car window platformer game.

Staring out the car window starter pack from starterpacks

5. Superiority complex

You ain’t special.

Things people like to feel weirdly superior about starter pack from starterpacks

4. A dangerous game

Seriously, just don’t. If you absolutely must keep your text conversations going on the road, there are plenty of apps and settings out there that will let you do it hands free.

“Sure, I can text and drive at the same time” starterpack from starterpacks

3. The bootstrap bandits

“I started with a small loan of a million dollars that was actually more like sixty million, anyway I’m a self-made man.”

The "poor people are just lazy" starter pack from starterpacks

2. Crew cuts

I think I know which one of you is gonna die first.

The crew of a spaceship in a movie starter pack. from starterpacks

1. On the fence

Pretty sure I still have a folder of my identical shots to these.

High School Photographer Starter Pack from starterpacks

And now you’re well on your way to being an expert in…all that stuff.

What could you create a starter pack for?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 10 “Starter Pack” Memes That Pack in the Laughs appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Former Flat-Earthers Discuss What Made Them Realize They Were Wrong

I’ve been fascinated by conspiracy theory subcultures since back when they were…not electing our government officials.

And it’s troubling, watching people hold firmly to beliefs that don’t stand up to even the barest scrutiny, and stand in defiance of literally every scrap of available evidence.

So, what do we do? Is there a way out? That’s what Reddit user jbarms wanted to know.

Former Flat Earthers. What made you come round? from AskReddit

As many pointed out, jbarms should probably have used the “serious” tag, as the thread was overrun by hundreds of terrible jokes.

But sprinkled in among them were a few real stories of people who’d changed their minds, or worked to change the minds of others.

Let’s have a look.

1. “That’s how big the earth is.”

I convinced a flat earther, temporarily, by asking him if it was possible for a sphere to be so large that you could not tell it was a sphere my simply being on the surface of it.

It took him a while, I used an analogy of a extremely long line that was so slightly curved you could not tell so by looking at a small section of it.

Eventually he said yes to the sphere and I told him that was how big the earth is.

A few days later he reverted, most of these people aren’t mentally stable, they believe in a lot of conspiracies.

– McClain3000

2. “None of this would work at all.”

I talked to a flat-earther about my job working for a company that tracks ship locations, routes, and speeds by satellite. We also had ways of monitoring carbon emissions based on fuel consumption and known weather conditions. None of this would work at all if the earth was flat. Not a jot of it.

I could only explain the most basic concepts, but it was enough for him to understand and realize that I was right and that he’d been convinced by someone who had no practical experience of the spherical nature of the Earth. I think that’s what really did it – my experience was really tangible. This happens then this happens then we measure this etc etc… no theory, just practice. A bit like showing a child a rock dropping to the ground in order to explain gravity, rather than giving them the whole theoretical shebang. Y’know?

– Administrative-Task9

3. “Why?”

A serious answer here

The thing that made me stop was just the question “why would nasa lie to you”

– The_Holy_Fork

4. “They mostly make me sad.”

I spent about a year infiltrating the flat Earth community on Instagram. I garnered a decent following with an account dedicated to flat earth travel photos (an intentionally absurd premise).

In that time I learned a quite a bit about the community including how to discern the trolls from the real deal. The majority of legit flat earthers are extremely distrustful of anything the government says or does. These same people are 9/11 truthers, Holocaust deniers, and anti-vaxxers and they connect these conspiracies together. Many of them have also attached flat Earth theory to religion, magic, or mysticism.

Before my infiltration I’d always considered conspiracies fun. Like they were the fan fiction of real life. Now they mostly make me sad. For all the phony accounts like mine, there are still plenty of people out there willing to drop a couple of hundred dollars on a flat Earth convention.

– Zelph_Onandagus

5. “Time away to detox.”

Not a flat earther. But I was a 9-11 “truther” I guess you could say–insofar as I thought it was an inside job. I was heavily influenced and believed in multiple conspiracies in the Zeitgeist film as well. There was a never ending source of dark, shadowy “they’s and them’s” controlling everything behind the scenes.

I think there were a few factors that helped me escape that:

• Losing my father. It was such a life changing event at that age that it made me reconsider everything in my life.

• Some light training in evaluating information. I learned about how to vet sources, primary, whether something was actually news or just an opinion/editorial, etc.. Ironically, this education came before I was duped. After my dad died, suddenly this started to kick in more.

• Lack of time/means to dig myself a deeper hole. I started college shortly after my father passed and that + a full time job took up all my time. I had none to buy further into the newest crazy bullsh*t. I had no Facebook/Twitter/IG/etc.. No smart phone or texting. My primary use of Reddit once I discovered it was for r/Naruto, r/Bleach, rage comics, and advice animals.

So all in all, I think the time away gave me time to detox. If I had been on social media as I discovered those things, I can only imagine I very well may have become a Q believer as well.

Looking back I see how gullible I was in that moment, fooled by the onslaught of half truths and clever “logic” of the various theories. I know better now (and I should have known better then), but I’ve been humbled to the fact that everyone is vulnerable to this sort of stuff. To think otherwise is deluding yourself.

– redyellowblue5031

6.  “He required no proof.”

Not me, but got a flat Earther to question his beliefs (and hopefully critically analyze them) by giving him the proof he asked for, to which he responded “mainstream science and media are lies”.

I asked why he asked for proof if he could just disregard it as lies either way, then told him that since he required no proof (or evidence against) to believe something, it made him the easiest person to deceive and that it seemed pretty sheep-like to me.

He deleted all of his flat earth comments and hasn’t posted about it since.

​ – thelife0fZ

7. “Facts and logic.”

Surprisingly enough. Facts and logic. More specifically star patterns. What we observe can not happen on a flat earth.

– Safinkodyr

8. “Five years.”

It took about five years.

It was alot of willfull ignorance on my part, I just refused to question the logic of it. In fact I spent most of my time coming up with crazy fantasies about alot of things I didn’t understand.

But you have to understand that there is just so much we don’t know about that sometimes our priority on what is real and what can be believed can get confused.

I was learning so much so fast that I really didn’t question something so inane as the world being flat. Of course it was, why wouldn’t it be.

The day that changed it forever though was when I asked my father what happens when you get to the edge of the world, he of course said the world is round like a ball.

Being about five years old I thought that made alot of sense.

– Orbitaldropbear

9. “The Bible declared the earth was flat.”

Okay I get the question is funny and all but I actually did believe, for a time, that the earth was flat.

I was raised in a very religious family, and basically came to the conclusion that the Bible declared the earth was flat, because since I believed the earth was created in seven days, the idea that God set the stars in the sky in one day made much more sense if the stars were simply points of light in a sort of snow globe formation extrapolated onto a bigger scale. Otherwise, he took one day out of the seven to make a septillion or so balls of flaming gas, all with their own planets, and set each one into galaxies before breaking for lunch. It just didn’t make sense to me that he would spend five days on one planet, and make the creation of the trillions of other stuff in the universe a little footnote.

I was confronted about this belief a couple times, only one of which wasn’t laughed off. That single person who engaged started a serious discussion, presenting much more evidence for the globe earth, and eventually told me to watch Carl Sagan. The Cosmos series was on YouTube, and once I watched it, I had to know more.

Finally, a video from the channel MinutePhysics convinced me, in no uncertain terms, that the earth was round.

– maleorderbride

10. “A rabbit hole of conspiracies.”

I feel into a rabbit hole of conspiracies.

Thankfully, physics is a mandatory subject in Switzerland, made much more sense that any « top 10 facts that prove that the earth is flat

– Lykorice

11. “Winter in Brazil and summer in the USA.”

I once had a conversation with a professional UFC fighter and outspoken Flat Earther. I tried to explain how Archimedes was able to prove the Earth was round just by using his shadow. I mentioned air travel and how Hawaii and Japan are not 20+ hours of flying apart.

But what I think got through to him the most was seasons. This particular guy was Brazilian. I explained that because the Earth is round, it’s possible to be winter in Brazil and summer in the USA and vice versa.

He nodded and stared off into the distance silently and the conversation was over.

I don’t think I “converted” him but it gave him significant pause at the very least.

– PlaneShenaniganz

12. “Sunsets.”

Sunsets man. Sunsets.

I watched all these videos read a book on it talked to people about it. I was one of them.

Everyone else was crazy for not seeing the truth.(still i have a lot of questions about how the heck this thing could possibly be a globe but thats besides the point) but i had an answer for everything.

People would ask why dont we fall off the edge? There is no edge the earths an infinite space. Why do balloons pop when they go high enough? Because theres only so much air and it sinks to the earths surface but eventually you can fly above it and then theres no pressure of the air pushing against the ballon so it pops. Hows gravity work? Gravity is made up i believe in buoyancy.

But one day somebody asked me if the sun is a spotlight in the sky then how does a sunset work. I was like uh.. and i looked into it.

Couldn’t find anything that makes sense. Sunsets turned me back

– NamelessSithNPC

13. “It appears to be.”

While having coffee with my sister one day, she revealed that she was a flat earther.

I said I wasn’t going to try and convince her otherwise because if literally millions of pieces of evidence doesn’t convince you, then nothing I can say will, but I will ask you a couple of question so that I can understand a bit more. This was the brief conversation:

Q. Do you think the sun is round? Her answer – It appears to be

Q. Do you think the moon is round? Her answer – it appears to be

Q do you think all the other planets are round? Her answer – they appear to be

​So to clarify, you’re saying that the sun, the moon and all the planets are round but we’re floating on a flat disk in the same space. Ok.

I think it made a difference from the look on her face but we’ve never spoken of it again.

– ThelastReject

14. “The heartbreak seemed genuine.”

I entertained it for a while.

What convinced me the earth was a sphere was a video I came across of a group of flat earthers doing a laser test over water. They found a stretch of level water around 2 miles long, then used level lasers to measure the distance from the water.

The test came back quite accurately indicating the earth was a sphere and not flat. They all got super upset and were crying about it.

Seems like a doable and effective test and their reaction, confusion and heartbreak seemed genuine.

– w1lliamsss

15. “Keep a secret.”

Our government couldn’t even keep Bill Clinton’s Oval Office bl*wjob a secret.

You really think they can keep something that big a secret?

– HippoShogun

I’ve heard it said that you can’t reason a person out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into. I’m not sure I agree with that. I think the important thing to remember is that it almost never happens in just one conversation. It takes time. People change their minds in little bits.

What’s the craziest thing you used to believe?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Former Flat-Earthers Discuss What Made Them Realize They Were Wrong appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Men Share Their Worst First Date Stories…and It Was All Their Fault

I’m not sure whether humans engage in dating in order to find partners or just so they have wild stories to tell, like this one on Reddit:

Whats the worst thing you have done/said on a first date? from AskReddit

Of course, he’s not alone.

Many, MANY other dudes chimed in with their own tales of woe:

1. Welcome to the slammer.

First real date ever: I am extremely nervous, dry mouth, sweaty palms, the whole 9 yards.

I washed and cleaned my car. I took a shower with fancy soaps, trimmed my nest of pubes, powdered my b*lls and shaved my face. I was ready!

I drove up to her house, shook hands with her mother, met the family, made jokes and broke the ice. I was still nervous, but it was subsiding, and I was on my way to victory.

I remembered to open the car door for her and proceeded to slam the door on her leg as she was getting situated.

Date over. ?

– usedbooks

2. Gettin’ smoked.

My neighbor used to be my pot dealer so he’d constantly front me stuff when either he didn’t have change or i didn’t feel like walking to an A.T.M. etc.

We hung out all the time, this was never a problem, i always paid and i’d thrown him a bunch of clients so sometimes he just didn’t care about a g. I also didn’t smoke enough for this to be a problematic arrangement.

One day he moves out, only a few blocks away, but I owed him 40 dollars.

We’re both really busy, he’s a musician i’m a photographer, so i’d try to get ahold of him to get him the money and it would never match up, and when we’d hang out we’d usually forget. Again, we’re friends, not an issue.

So i’m on a first date about a block from my house at a bar and i see him sitting with his girlfriend a few booths away, i text him saying i’m watching him and i have his money if he wants it/to come join our table. no response.

thirty minutes later we’re outside having a cigarette and he comes outside, grabs me by the throat and demands his money because “no one f*cks with him and his drugs”. immediately i knew he was kidding…my date didn’t. she freaked out and maced both of us.

we’re all still friends and i still got laid.

– [user deleted]

3. Ya boring.

Taken her as a newcomer to a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, with a live shadow cast and virgin tribulation and everything.

First and only date; I worried about it for a long time, but then realized, f*ck it, she’s boring.

– TheAustinKnight

4. Do the math.

“I failed grade nine applied math twice. But I’m not really a thinker, I’m a doer. Sometimes I actually need a calculator to count to ten.”

After this I was like ‘Omg time to go water my cat’ and drove her home, skipping every stop sign on the way.

Twenty five minute date, my fastest yet!

– JupiterDeusMaximus

5. Hit and run.

Took a girl out to dinner

During dinner, I notice a scar on her arm

I ask about it

“I got hit by a car while I was crossing the street a few years ago”

Go for a walk after dinner to get some coffee across the street

By now, completely forgot about the got-hit-by-a-car story

Crosswalk light is about to turn red

I say “We can make it” and we start rushing across the street

We almost get hit by a car.

Yeah, no second date.

– Piratiko

6. Punch drunk love.

ended up in bed with her, when we turned off the lights and i lifted my t-shirt i accidentally punched her on her nose-piercing with my elbow.

that was not the night i got laid

– mousestar

7. Sweet dreams!

I took a girl to see requiem for a dream.

Yeah that was uncomfortable.

– stringrbelloftheball

8. Cool it.

Not me, but my best friend. He was on a date with some dumb girl once and they were having a good time, sitting in his room listening to music and talking.

She picked up a heating pad and said, “This would be so nice on me right now,” and he jokingly said, “Yeah. I wonder if it will work on my cold, lonely heart.” She promptly left.

I thought it was funny.

– ilestledisko

9. Yikes.

I am 25 and went on a date with an 18 year old.

Over the course of coffee she told me her entire sexual history, including abortions and the baby she gave up for adoption.

Her friend happened to walk by and they chatted for a moment.

She (the friend) was worried she might be pregnant and my date suggested she keep the baby just to anger the man’s wife.

We did not have a second date.

– WallyIsHiding

10. Curb your enthusiasm.

Left a girl at the curb because she refused to open the car door for herself, and resorted to insults to express her indignation that I had not automatically done so for her.

This was at her house so its not like I abandoned her, but she did have to walk back and explain to her parents why she was back early after I had just met them.

– ItGotRidiculous

11. Nerding out.

I went to pick her up and her brother answered the door.

He was holding a DS playing Pokemon. As I waited for her to come down, I proceeded to talk to him about it in depth.

She heard everything…

– RingAnswerHello

12. Warming up.

The conversation was getting a bit sexy, things were definitely warming up. Our hands were exploring some.

She asked me about past conquests, girls I’d been with, things we’d done, etc.

So since she prompted me, I told her this story about this girl I’d had sex with a few times, just as a hook-up, no dating.

Turns out, even though I didn’t mention names, there were enough details for her to figure it out, because she knew the girl…her cousin.

Also, as it happens, the cousin not only thought that were dating, but had thought we were dating exclusively until I dumped her for no reason.

That realization and the conversation that came from it was a bit awkward…

– ronearc

13. Take a bow.

Not me but my friend, took a girl to see the play I was in on a first date so I got to witness it.

While getting ready to leave, he puts on his coat and BAM punches her straight in the nose. Broke it nicely.

I have never had to stop from laughing so much while taking a bow.

– AdmanUK

14. Just a poke.

I was fresh out of a horrific mentally abusive relationship when I started to date again, so needless to say, I was a bit of a SAP around girls this time around.

I was on a date with this girl, we were hanging out at my house, watching a movie, having dinner, very casual.

At the end of the night, I walk her outside and to her car in the driveway and we’re just standing there. She says she had a good time and she’ll come to have a drink with me on the weekend blah blah blah, that old song and dance. She was getting ready to hug me goodbye, and my mind went BLANK and I just kind of poked her. Yes, poked her, with my finger… on her side, like “heh, thanks for coming over…” Her face was priceless. Then she said, “Ok… welp, see ya.”

Dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

– Bad_assness

15. It’s a sign!

I’m really not a fan of astrology, but I don’t really care if someone likes it.

Anyway, this girl said she was good at guessing signs.

I must admit, i was impressed when she got it right in only 10 guesses.

– Fearlessleader85

I can feel that last one pretty hard. You can watch my smile die in real time as anyone anywhere tells me about “my sign.” *shudders*

What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Men Share Their Worst First Date Stories…and It Was All Their Fault appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Enjoy Some of the Best Comebacks Found on the Internet

The thing about the internet is that it’s a huge public forum where almost anybody can access and respond to the things you say.

And the thing about having a forum like that is that with so many eyeballs on your statement, odds are exceedingly good that at least one pair of those eyes is gonna be connected to a brain that just happens to have the most perfectly devastating response.

Ergo, the internet is basically just one giant clap back machine, and the results are hilarious and oof-worthy.

Here are fifteen examples of killer comebacks brought to us by the internet.

15. First languages

Clearly she meant speak American. Yanno, talk about guns and Tiger King.

14. Safety second

And just like Jurassic Park, we literally never learn.

13. Special delivery

(Club = team for all my fellow basic Americans.)

12. Social predictions

Don’t hold back, king.

11. Deep breaths

I might be suffocating but these download speeds are tight.

10. Packing heat

It was planted on me, I swear.

9. Cold shoulder

Every doctor: “This is way worse than a cold or the flu.”
Your cousin: “Nu uh.”

8. Well actually

If he was around to hear this conversation he’d cut off his ear all over again.

https://ryanrosslegs.tumblr.com/post/111237376092/shaxaphone-growlithed

7. Desperate measures

Get bent, bruh.

Ooof and well asked for. from clevercomebacks

6. Just kidding

Nothing better than when you can turn around a yo mama joke.

Dominance asserted from clevercomebacks

5. Born and raised

“If we went back to using obsolete techniques and technologies, people would be confused.” – a boomer’s idea of a sick burn.

Weird motives from clevercomebacks

4. Don’t cry for me

If being a man means I don’t get to care about my own parents then screw it, I’m a wombat.

In a post about “man up” being an insult. from clevercomebacks

3. Granting wishes

That kid is going to be a lawyer when she grows up.

Children are savages from MurderedByWords

2. Can’t take the heat

But…but…I saw a meme somewhere that said…

A Moron and a Microbiologist Comment on a COVID-19 Article… from clevercomebacks

1. The winter of our inconvenience

We’re so insular we literally forget there are other countries.

On a thread about wearing masks from clevercomebacks

That’s a lot of cathartic comebacks right there. Sort of revs you up to go plant a few yourself. Remember: don’t go looking for a fight. But when the time comes to strike, use the opportunity well.

What’s your favorite comeback lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Enjoy Some of the Best Comebacks Found on the Internet appeared first on UberFacts.