People Talk About the Extra Rules Their Families Added to Board Games and Card Games

Since when are you allowed to run another player’s car off the road in the game of Life? Calm down, calm down, I’m talking about Life, the board game.

But still, I don’t remember that specific rule being in the directions, do you?

What I’m trying to hint at here is that people create new rules for games all the time…and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing…

AskReddit users shared the funny and strange extra rules their families made up for board games and card games.

Let’s take a look.

1. Uno!

“When my mother-in-law was suffering from dementia we would play Uno with her and just let her play any card she wanted to play.

She was at a point where she couldn’t follow the rules of the game but she did understand that she should put down a card when it was her turn.

So we just let her play whatever she wanted, it introduced a fun chaotic element to the game and she got to enjoy participating and spending time with us.”

2. Pretty creative.

“”The Mugging Rule” in Monopoly.

If I land on a space that you are currently occupying, I can choose to mug you.

We take turns rolling the dice, if I roll higher, I steal $100, if you roll higher I go to jail.”

3. Here’s the deal.

“In Trivial Pursuit, we have a rule – if the player being asked doesn’t know the answer, they can ask the room.

The room doesn’t actually answer, but they say whether they know the answer or not. If nobody knows the answer, it’s considered an invalid question, and another card gets drawn instead. (if someone in the room does know, but the player being asked doesn’t, then it’s just a plain old “pass”)

My Dad knows a lot of stuff … I mean, a LOT. When he was a kid he read the Encyclopedia Britannica for fun. Basically, the rule was born from, “If even Dad doesn’t know the answer, then nobody does and it’s a terrible question.”

4. Fun!

“At the end of Scrabble you make up a story with all the words on the board.

We never looked at the tiles for scores, we just played to get the best words on the board.”

5. Anything goes.

“Literally ANYTHING goes in Monopoly.

Whatever business deals you make in Monopoly are valid, like paying some insurance each round so that if you land on their rent properties you are immune.”

6. Don’t nuke yourself!

“Nukes in Risk.

If you roll three sixes when attacking you defeat every army on the territory you’re attacking into.

If you roll three ones, you nuke yourself and lose every army in the territory you’re attacking from.”

7. Don’t say sorry.

“If you say sorry while playing Uno, you pick up 2 cards!

Slap that +4 down with authority!

Also, if you have exactly the same card as the one that has just been played, you can jump in and play your duplicate regardless of if it’s your turn or not.”

8. Are you paying attention?

“In Catan, when you roll a 7 or play a knight, you have to move the robber.

but you can move it back to the desert and claim any resource you want from the “bank”.”

9. Time to lay down.

“Phase 10.

After a person has laid down, if their set has any wilds, other members are allowed to take the wilds as long as they provide the card the wild was representing.

You’re only allowed to do this if you can lay down in the same turn.”

10. Sounds cool.

“In high school, my group of friends loved to play Clue.

Unfortunately we found the game got a bit stale after a few nights of playing.

So, we actually designed our own board “extension”, containing additional rooms, and created new cards for extra weapons and characters so it was more challenging to determine who the killer was.”

11. It’s like real life!

“My sister and i play “Life Sucks”.

It’s Life but you only get paid if you land on payday, not if you just pass it.

Basically you end up with a pile of loans and it’s a struggle to get out of debt.”

12. I’ll have to try this.

“We have a generic version of Jenga that has the company name printed on one of the logs.

When someone pulls that log, they have to yell “kielbasa” in Fozzie Bear’s voice (keel-BA-sa).

It never gets old.”

13. Good idea.

“The phantom.

When playing Cards Against Humanity, a random card is added by the phantom each round.

Surprisingly, the phantom frequently keeps up with us. It’s a lot of fun when everyone says “oh, that was the obvious best one” then realizes no one is claiming it.”

14. All kinds of rules.

“Boggle: youngest child is allowed one and two letter words since she’s learning to read, and she’s allowed to have her sight-words list available for reference to help her practice them.

So far it’s working because she’s finding three and four letter words on her own!

Uno: stack draw 2s or draw 4s until you can’t no mo. Unfortunate soul that can’t stack draws all.

Beer pong: Gentleman’s rule. If the ball rolls back you fight to retrieve it. Winner gets a free shot. Trick shots must be very specific in nature because all loop holes are fair game.

Canasta: The Unicorn. All wilds canasta worth 2000 points. This causes table flips.”

Did your family have extra rules for board or card games?

If so, tell us about them in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear what you came up with!

The post People Talk About the Extra Rules Their Families Added to Board Games and Card Games appeared first on UberFacts.

Teachers Discuss the Worst Things Substitutes Did While They Were Gone

It’s gotta be kind of weird to be a teacher and just hand your classroom over to a stranger when you take a day off.

But that’s what the substitute teaching game is all about, folks! And it’s also a total crapshoot about what kind of individual will be teaching your beloved students for the day…and anything can happen.

Teachers shared their stories of substitutes gone wild on AskReddit.

1. So many…

“I’ve had so many bad subs.

One sub made an elementary student cry insisting her own name was misspelled and made her stand up in front of the class and admit her name was spelled wrong. I asked that she not return but I still saw her around as other teachers had her sub.

Another one worth mentioning was supposed to be my sub for the last 2 weeks of school because I went on maternity leave, this time teaching at a 7th-12th grade school. Ignored all my sub plans, played on his cell phone the whole time, and then like 3 days in got upset at the students and told them off.

And then they watched as he walked out to the parking lot and drove away. Thank goodness some kids went and told the office. When I came back it was like my room had been ransacked!

It was awful.”

2. Sleeping on the job.

“Went to sleep for 1.5 hours.

My class was freaking amazing—the sweetest, most thoughtful group I’ve ever had. When I got back the next day, I asked how the sub was.

Me: How was the sub?

Them: uhhh… he was fine. He kinda took a nap for a while.

Me: WHAT?! What did you guys do?

Them: Worked quietly so that we wouldn’t wake him up. Eventually we ran out of work, so we just had silent reading.

Me: For how long?

Them: From when we started working until it was time to go outside.

Me: That’s a really long time! Look, I am glad that you guys were so thoughtful, but if something like that ever happens again, please wake the sub up. It’s not safe for the sub to sleep. He needed to be awake in case something happened.

Them: We would have woken him up if we really needed to. But we also figured he probably really needed the sleep.

Seriously. The SWEETEST class ever!”

3. Pretty rude.

“Re-arranged my room.

Not in a “Moved Student A away from Student B and put her by Student C” way.

In a “Move the giant rug over to the opposite corner of the room, and completely change the layout of student desks, and rearrange a bookshelf” way.”

4. Not cool!

“Left my perfectly prepped and neat desk an absolute disaster.

Did not follow the lesson plan and… took my gel pens!”

5. Sorry…

“There was a harpsichord in the front of the classroom used both for demonstration and performance.

Not knowing what he was doing, the sub tried to tune 3 notes that had gone mildly out of tune while I was away.

He managed to break the strings on all 3 notes and left a message inside reading: “Sorry about that . . .””

6. What?!?!

“I had a sub give out my cell phone number to my high school students so they could call me and give me excuses as to why they weren’t taking their test while I was gone.

I was LIVID.

I complained to the sub office, and that teacher never subbed for my building again.”

7. Was he drunk?

“He peed in my desk chair. Swear. To. God.

He apparently peed in my chair and the students noticed it and mentioned it to him. He ignored them and just sat there anyway with a huge puddle of urine on the floor.

The kids called security on him.

I came in the next day and sat in the chair. It was wet and about that time a security guard stuck her head in the door and said “Don’t sit there, that guy peed in your chair…””

8. What am I doing here?

“I taught middle school Math and English in the 90s and the sub didn’t know how to convert a decimal into a fraction and kept insisting that the students who did know how to do it were wrong.

She also apparently didn’t know how to pronounce five of our twenty vocabulary words and didn’t know what half of them meant.”

9. Runnin’ wild.

“She let the kids run wild and do whatever they wanted (first graders). I was out because my dad died.

Thank God my team realized what happened and all pulled together and cleaned the room/put it back together before I returned to work.”

10. That’s…weird…

“I had a substitute decide that my plans weren’t good enough for her and she went rogue.

She decided to show my students videos of animals giving birth on YouTube.

I taught English…”

11. Wow…

“I came back after being gone ONE DAY and my students told me the substitute teacher flipped over tables in a rage and was escorted from the building by a cop.

What actually happened is that the sub left the room to take a 20 min phone call and the kids thought it would be funny to flip the tables over. The substitute then had to flip the tables right side up while yelling at the kids.

Then, during lunch, my Special Ed. Co-teacher came into my room to set up and caught the sub MAKING OUT WITH A STUDENT. Turns out she was 18 to his 25 and the 20 min phone call was to set up the lunch meeting.

The principal then had him escorted from the building by the resource officer. This is why I say having a sub is more work than just coming into school myself.”

12. Ignored the instructions.

“I caught the flu the week my students had a district benchmark test. I could feel that I was coming down with something, so I stayed late to put together really in depth review packets and slideshows.

I wrote pages of directions for the substitute, and separated the reviews out by class numbers. I even included my personal number and told them to call me any time if a student had a question they couldn’t answer. I spent about 5 hours putting everything together after school, while battling around a 103 temp.

The substitute completely ignored my instructions. She instead took every single piece of construction paper and cardstock in my classroom from my personal locker that I had left open for her in case she needed something, and had the students make flip books about their feelings. They used thousands of pieces of paper and craft supplies, probably around $100 of my own personal supplies.

This was for freshmen in high school. I’m still bitter.”

Okay, all you educators out there!

Tell us the worst thing a substitute teacher ever did when you were gone.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Teachers Discuss the Worst Things Substitutes Did While They Were Gone appeared first on UberFacts.

A Person Said if You’re a Parent and Your Adult Children Don’t Speak to You, It’s YOUR Fault

It can be hard to claim things like always or never when it comes to other people’s families – relationships are complicated, after all.

So when this person on Reddit came out with their Unpopular Opinion that, if adult children refuse to have anything to do with their parents, it’s because the parents were terrible.

Dear Parents Whose Adult Children Don’t Talk To Them – It’s Always Your Fault.

You were the adult when they were a child. If their first instinct, as soon as they get out from under your thumb, is to completely ignore you forever, you need to own the fact that you messed up as a parent at several, consistent, points along the road throughout your child’s upbringing. They hate you for a good reason, and they’re probably better off without you in their lives.

There are a number of forms of abuse that range from over-parenting, to neglect, over-discipline to straight up negative enabling behavior.

I have friends who don’t talk to their parents because the strictness was so suffocating, and friends who don’t talk to their parents because they were lazy bums who never took an interest in their child’s life. There are tons of other reasons kids abandon relationships with their folks, but the one thing that stays true through all of these experiences for me is that it’s always the parents fault.

This is mostly about relationships that end as soon as the kid leaves the house, not necessarily relationships that break down during adulthood, although the same reasoning could be applied in a lot of these cases too.

As you can imagine, people had some thoughts.

14. Don’t expect closure.

Living through a lifetime of people telling you it’s your fault, it’s hard to deprogram yourself that it isn’t the case. I’m still in the middle of deprogramming that mindset. What eats away at me is that a lot of people aren’t in my life anymore (due to distance, ailment/death, etc).

There is never any closure even if these people aren’t in your life anymore. It’s always a battle to fight for your mind and sense of self.

13. This sounds stressful.

I’m 15 and my parents can’t look past IISc or IIT. JEE looks like such a sham to me like there are so many students taking the exam and only the top 50 or 60 get to the best colleges, there is so much competition and it’s not like there is a huge difference between the kid who comes 10th or the kid who comes 150th. It’s just 1 mark difference that can throw you off hundreds of places.

This coupled with the outdated reservation system, which does more harm than good, completely makes a ridiculous thing out of this and it’s even more frustrating to see people pinning their hopes, their entire lives, on performing in this circus of an exam.

12. It’s all math.

There is this thing called the Social Exchange Theory that states that if a relationship’s costs outweigh the benefits then it will likely break off as it is not interdependent nor healthy.

When parents fail to realize that they are costing their kid more than they are providing for them (this includes time, emotional, health, and material costs/benefits) then their kid isn’t going to want to be in that relationship.

And In parent-child relationships it is even more crucial that the kid’s needs are being met and that they are being presented more benefits than costs.

Take it from me, as someone who has been royally fucked up by my parents and whose relationship with them has slowly deteriorated- there are MANY ways that a child can be neglected.

11. Maybe it’s not too late?

Both my parents had their shortcomings, my dad wayyyy more than my mom, but since I’ve moved out, they’ve both been actively trying to be better parents and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.

My dad and I will always but heads but he’s trying and that’s what matters to me.

10. When the roles are reversed.

As an adult, I feel like my mother needs more from me emotionally than she’s ever provided. It’s a hard thing to explain. But 4-hour phone calls where I might get three sentences in?

Every time I visit she wants to keep me awake until the sun rises, talking about herself? Woman needs a friend or a therapist and I’m not ready to be either.

9. How tall are you, though?

I haven’t talked to my parents since 1999.

That’s to preserve my own sanity and peace of mind. In truth it was the smartest thing I’ve ever done and I have no regrets disavowing two malignant narcissists

I have a list of grievances with them as long as my leg.

So long in fact it’s a wonder CPS didn’t take me away from them when I was a child.

8. They have to be willing to work on themselves.

Honestly, if most parents would just get some sort of therapy, the world would have so much more peace and family relationships might actually be able to last.

7. That doesn’t seem right.

Trust me, wonder no longer bc CPS prob wouldn’t have helped unless you were half dead. They came to our house, took a look around the rooms, questioned us WITHIN EARSHOT OF OUR MOTHER and then walked out.

Imagine if we told them the shit that had been happening to us and then they decided “it wasn’t valid enough” and didn’t take us with them- we would’ve just ratted out our mom in front of her and been left to deal with the consequences. So we lied bc they didn’t do their job properly.

How can you question a kid without setting up a safe environment?

6. Sounds like an excuse.

The issue with my folks is they believe therapy to be pseudo science. So even when every person has told them see a therapist, when they finally do they don’t take it seriously and they don’t approach it with an open mind.

They simply write it off, end up spending money for something they don’t actually believe or want to attempt to understand.

5. Makes your heart hurt.

I had an abusive alcoholic mother. She used to beat us daily, put cigarettes out on me, mentally abuse us and try and turn us against our dad. When I told my dad about it at around 8 he tried to get custody of us.

The courts decided the best course of action would be to keep us with our mother and assign a social worker to ‘help her be a better parent’. Well it didn’t work and the abuse carried on.

F*ck social services and f*ck the courts they’re all useless.

4. The guilt can be too much.

My mother is much the same way. I think, deep down, her mentality boils down to “why get a therapist when I have children I can unload on?”. She gets deeply offended when I finally reach a limit and ask her to stop calling me for every problem she faces in her life. She then proceeds to try and guilt trip me about how if I won’t help her then:

  • she has nobody else to help her
  • she would have to pay someone else to fix the problem and how much money it would cost
  • how she wasn’t the worst mother in the world and is owed this

Since my father passed away, it has been a situation where her demands of me creep up, reaches a tipping point, and we have a blown up argument where I have to explain that I’m her son, not her handyman/therapist/fixer. Her expectation of a mother-child relationship is extreme.

3. An excellent point.

Even if you were half dead they would have done f*ck all. I ended up in the hospital every couple of months. My dad beat me so hard he broke vertebrae in my back. They visited – but like you said it just wasn’t safe. Then they left and I got a beating for them being there in the first place.

Went extremely low contact with my dad about 20 years ago. He’s dead now. I didn’t go to the funeral and I regret nothing. People were always giving me shot for wanting nothing to do with him but they didn’t know who he was. I still talk to my mother though obviously our relationship is difficult. I love her deeply though. She was a victim of him just as much as I was.

Still I don’t agree with the OP. It’s not always the parents fault. You can’t be that absolute.

The child might be suffering from paranoid schizophrenia or something like that.

2. Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

My parents did not see me as a part of the family.

It hurts really bad.

I was 32 when i figured out its not me its them.

1. In that case…

Hello fellow child of narcissists! Been no contact with mine since 17.

Literally the most dangerous people I’ve ever encountered. Cheers!

I’m not sure where I stand on this one. I actually think that a lot of the time, he’s probably right, but not every time.

Surely there are times when a kid gets involved with drugs or the wrong crowd or a new religion and turns their back on loving, well-meaning parents. Right?

Tell me your thoughts down in the comments!

The post A Person Said if You’re a Parent and Your Adult Children Don’t Speak to You, It’s YOUR Fault appeared first on UberFacts.

Society Stop Stop Making People Insecure About These Things

People struggle enough with self-esteem and loving themselves without bringing other people’s judgement into it.

Society-at-large just can’t seem to help itself from passing those judgements, though, and it can really suck the joy out of the world for people.

If we want to be happier, and freer, people say judging other folks for these 11 things really has to go.

11. Anything you can’t control.

The way you look in any form that was a result of your genetics.

The way you look period. Some people dress a certain way because they’re depressed, some because they want to be different. Some people have much bigger fish to fry than putting on appearances for others.

10. Especially for men.

Being short.

It’s amazing that it’s socially acceptable to make fun of a short male like everyone is in on the joke.

Those same people would never make fun of someone to their face who is obese or has a birth defect or acne, etc, but being short is obviously something a person has no control over.

9. No way to fix it.

Receding hairline, is just natural man.

8. It’s ok to say goodbye.

Not associating with a toxic family or family member.

The “blood is thicker than water” thing is bs. Some families are abusive, manipulative, neglectful, etc.

If you choose not to have them in your life, that’s perfectly ok.

7. There are all sizes of everything.

Small d*cks, yes it’s tiny I GET IT.

6. Liking anything, really.

Liking pretty things. Too many people have this idea that pretty things are childish and you need to be moody and ironically dark.

FOOL, LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL FLOWER AND STOP PRETENDING TO BE MISERABLE BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE.

5. People are doing their best.

being poor

It’s not a choice, I am doing the best I can and just because I receive food stamps or any other type of assistance doesn’t make me a POS. I see a lot of hate for poor people, like we are supposed to fit this stereotype with dirt on our face and stained up clothes.

It isn’t so far fetched to think my ‘designer’ clothes come from a thrift store, my nails are press on from the dollar store and my iphone is so old it still has a headphone jack.

4. This should not be awkward.

Buying condoms. Please, it’s really important.

3. It’s really none of your business.

Being a virgin

p*nis/breast size

Whether we’re wearing makeup or not being allowed to wear makeup

Having the next shiny gadget that will get replaced soon

Having and expressing your emotions without being called a bi*ch or a pansy

2. It’s just natural.

teeth, they aren’t meant to be fully white and perfectly aligned, having some skewness and discoloration is ok as long as its not affecting you.

1. There’s no one route.

Where you should be success-wise at a certain age. I’m 23, graduated college, but couldn’t get a job in my field right after graduating. I’m living with my parents to save money on rent, working at a restaurant, and growing my skills that I learned from college, while working on myself. I’m severely insecure and realized recently that for the past ten years, I have been constantly striving for a level of perfection that is absolutely impossible and calling myself a failure for it.

I woke up to the realization that I was getting serious anxiety and was limiting everything I did. It’s just that I’m not exactly ready for the world of adults. I’m terrified and unsure and it doesn’t help hearing people despair over how they “ruined their lives” when they aren’t that old. The pressure to get somewhere in two years demotivates me sometimes. It’s something I’m fixing, but I don’t like hearing people force time limits on others and reprimand them if they never fulfill it or haven’t.

I saw a post here about a few days ago asking 25-year-olds how they screwed up in their lives (or something along those lines) as if 25 is the deadline for achievements.

It’s good to have deadlines, but everybody grows at their own pace and has roadblocks in their lives that slow them down. Heck, the human brain apparently doesn’t stop developing at 25 and grows even after 60 years old. Some people genuinely do try but get so discouraged that they give up and then get ridiculed for not doing anything. I only learned recently that my 30-year-old cousin just got over a terrible drug addiction that cost his job and almost his livelihood for years. But he got out, finished college, and is a changed man getting better jobs and doing better.

There’s always time.

I am in, y’all. I say, if no one is getting hurt, live and let live. I will cheer you on.

What other things should we stop making people feel insecure about? Let’s use the comments to make a longer list!

The post Society Stop Stop Making People Insecure About These Things appeared first on UberFacts.

People Think We Need to Stop Feeling Insecure About These Things

People tend to come up with plenty of reasons to feel insecure about themselves, their choices, and their life. Our society can feel half built on making other people feel bad about themselves, even when some of things aren’t anything they can control.

If you agree that it’s time we stop so much judging of others, here are 12 things people think we should let go caring about right now.

12. You have to take care of yourself.

Not having relationships with some or all family members.

Some people just suck, and someone has to have the misfortune of being related to them.

11. Boring jobs pay bills, too.

Your job. Too many people are elitist about someone’s occupation and look down on essential workers.

I have a stable, relatively well paying job as an accountant and I have had several comments from friends and family making fun of me or making snide comments about how boring my job/life is like I’ve totally sold out because I’m not a teacher or an artist.

I think because it’s such a safe career choice they feel like they’re not punching down but it just makes me feel really lame and embarrassed.

10. It takes all types.

Being too shy to jump into conversations!

I have become so discouraged from talking at all.

9. Everybody poops.

Bowel movements! As someone with IBS, it happens a lot. Yes I was in the restroom for 20 minutes. There’s nothing I can do about it.

It’s much harder on me than it is on you.

8. Not everyone can afford braces.

Crooked teeth. They grew In that way and my parents (divorced) both had insurance on me, but argued over whose responsibility it should be.

Well now it’s mine but I can’t afford it.

7. Let people be happy.

Excitement. Let people be excited about shit. Let them like things you don’t. Let people express powerful positive emotions. And cry. And get deep into how to show anger respectfully.

The worst feeling is being super excited about something and then getting put down for it. Makes me want to burst into tears when it happens and it makes me want to do it when I see it happen to others too.

That type of embarrassment is hard to handle and recover from.

6. Let people like things.

Everything that doesn’t harm others but makes the person happy. Be silly, enjoy yourself. Make snow angels in the rain, I don’t care.

5. It is what it is.

Dark eye bags

I like my eyebags I am just tired of people giving me unsolicited advice about it. I am also tired of others telling to use makeup to hide them, like no thank you.

4. Dancing is supposed to be joyful.

One thing I will never make fun of someone for is how they dance. I don’t care if they dance “white” or if they have no rhythm or if they’re just moving side-to-side; if they’re having fun, that’s literally all that matters.

Making fun of someone who’s having fun will kill that fun, and I refuse to be a killjoy.

3. People are never happy.

*not * being active on social media… get off my back

Odd how important it’s become, more odd that some folks assume other folks think it’s equally important

2. Everyone has different dreams.

I’m a cleaner and I’ve literally had people say to me after I tell them; ‘so you studying or what are you looking to do?’ ‘i’d never clean toilets’ and the worst one was ‘so, just haven’t found your dream job yet?’

Like, no, Greg. I’m OCD and have ADD, this is my dream job. I’m on my feet all day, I get to make things perfect and the satisfaction is incredible for my mental health, I’m able to support myself and my son and and I also get to help the elderly and disabled, who wouldn’t want to have that chance on a daily basis.

Also, clean your fucking toilet Greg. It’s nasty as hell.

1. A real issue.

Mental health struggles.

There’s nothing wrong with taking time to figure out what process works for you, despite what other people tell you.

Mental health / mental illness is a real issue for a lot of people, and society in general has a hard time understanding them and are quick to judge, making the ones who struggle with it feel insecure about asking for help and getting treatment.

Shame this stigma still exists in 2021.

I think we would all feel so much freer if we could agree to mind our own business.

What would you add to this list? Tell us what else we should let go in the comments!

The post People Think We Need to Stop Feeling Insecure About These Things appeared first on UberFacts.

These People Have Amazing Talents That They Definitely Can’t Put on Their Resumes

I think everyone in the world is really good at something. Now, whether or not that something is marketable or impressive to many people, well, that’s up for debate.

That said, sometimes our random talents can be both impressive and useless when it comes to making money and stuff, and I would argue these 15 people’s definitely falls under both umbrellas.

15. Just keep swimming.

Survived meningococcal meningitis at 18. They told my poor mother it was up to me whether I made it through the night.

Got through a mental breakdown at 30.

Proud to be a fighter.

14. There’s a feather in your cap!

I once killed two ogres with one cantrip. Minor Illusion is really good if you use it right.

13. Everyone is better off.

Working evenings and weekends, I turned the dumping area behind my school into a outdoor classroom, nature area and thriving pond.

12. That’s gotta feel nice.

I’ve lost a good bit of weight recently and now my d*ck is visibly bigger.

I keep catching sight of it in the mirror as I pass and then realising that it’s mine.

11. So far, anyway.

I have no refractory period.

10. I’m sure this would impress some people.

Wrote and ran a D&D campaign with a group of friends for about 3 years. We met every week, only missing a few sessions if people were too busy or sick or something. It was some of the most fun we ever had

We started at level 3, and ended at level 20 with a TPK. It was glorious. The best part was that the end of the campaign involved the party going back in time to stop an evil pantheon of gods from destroying another pantheon and causing the world to plunge into ruin.

So their deaths ultimately ensured that the timeline was maintained, thus preventing any paradoxes.

9. The reward is in your heart.

It could sound stupid, but I saved a lot of stray animals. Not only saved, but also found them safe homes and loving families as well. Doing it on my own, not as part of organisation or shelter.

It takes a lot of nerves, time, money…and a lot of tears, because some of them I find a little too late..

But at the end, knowing that some innocent souls got a better life thanks to me, is the best reward possible, although it’s not something to be put in a resume.

8. So you have to eat that second slice of pie, for your instrument!

I can play drums on my belly.

7. Confidence is always applicable.

I am proud of myself.. but no idea how to put that on my resume though.

6. Depends on where you’re interviewing, I guess.

I beat the Sephiroth secret boss on Proud Mode in Kingdom Hearts Final Mix.

5. You can do it, too.

I was a meth addict for ten years and stopped cold-turkey because I hated the person I had become. One month later my dad was killed and eventhough my brain screamed for me to stop the heartache with dope, I didn’t and I have been clean for almost 11 years.

I am now almost done with graduate school and I would never put this on my CV or resume, but everyday I am proud of myself and what I have accomplished.

Update: I also wanted to say to anyone out there struggling with addiction; I know life seems overwhelming and horrible and it doesn’t seem like you can escape. You can it will be difficult, but I promise you that a difficult life clean is much better. Keep trying and keep your head up. You can do it I believe in you.

4. That shows serious commitment.

200 million runecrafting experience on old-school runescape.

Yeah, I’m a bad boy.

3. But she’s not a chef.

That i successfully made a souffle at 13.

Boom!

2. You’re multilingual!

Probably something common with a lot of people, but i learned how to speak / read / spell english only by playing video games since i was a kid.

Never had any classes or anything.

Even if it’s a kind of “Informal English” , i still think it’s a pretty good and self rewarding accomplishment…

1. Way to keep a cool head.

Saved a drunk woman from choking on her own vomit.

You’re welcome, Francesca.

I’m loving these, and feeling a little sad I’m not more secretly impressive.

What would you put on this list? Share with us in the comments!

The post These People Have Amazing Talents That They Definitely Can’t Put on Their Resumes appeared first on UberFacts.

12 Times Adults Asked Really Dumb Questions

If you’ve spent any time working in customer service – retail, at a restaurant, at a call center, or anywhere else that faces the public – then there is a 100% chance you’ve got an entire journal’s worth of unbelievably stupid interactions.

People, it turns out, really aren’t that smart…and also, they tend to think they’re the most important person in the world to literal strangers.

These 12 stories should bring back some not-so-great memories, but they should be good for a laugh.

12. If only that first one was true.

That owning a fitbit does not make you skinny and today I had to explain to a couple that just because the amazon echo box doesn’t state that it uses wifi.

It will still use it as it needs it to be a smart home device.

11. Maybe she’s magic.

My first job at 16 was Party City. One day, I’m blowing up balloons at the balloon counter and a lady comes up to buy some latex balloons. I ask if she wants us to fill them and she said no, she’d do it at home. Making small talk, I said oh you must have one of the party time helium tasks at home.

“No, I blow them up with my mouth. You just put the string on them and they float!”

I do the multiple blinks, trying to work out in my head what she’s just said. She fully believed she could blow up the balloons with her mouth and the magic was attaching a string. I tried to give this woman an impromptu chemistry lesson. She insisted.

I still think about that magic woman to this day.

10. This happened on Seinfeld.

That you can’t return the shorts that you’re currently wearing…

9. I think you’ve found the problem.

That I couldn’t help them diagnose their internet connectivity issues if they don’t find their modem’s power cord.

8. You’ll have to pick one.

I understand you want to protect your personal information but I cannot send you what you want unless you give me your address!

7. That cook though.

Here are a few favorites as a bartender:

A drink is LIQUID. Bad Idea to shake it around.

Yes, the “no smoking” sign also applies to people who are addicted.

Yes, the people on the tables around you are drunk. And No, I’m not going to kick them out. (srsly, what were they expecting when entering a bar at 2am?)

You Still have to pay the entire meal, even though you only ate half of it. (especially because they asked us to pack other half for them to take home)

No you’re not allowed to test our liquor by taking a shot unless you buy a shot.

The kitchen door as well as the backroom door are closed for a reason and that reason is not to hide “the good stuff” EDIT: I was informed by my cook that he is, in fact, “the good stuff”

EXPOSURE DOESN’T PAY MY FUCKING BILLS

Your Kid is not going to get alcohol from me. (most of the time I can kinda understand the question, as legal drinking age when accompanied by your parents is only 14 for light beverages here in austria, but that kid looked like it still went to primary school!), and I don’t care that it’s his birthday.

No we’re not running an illegal smuggling business in the back, you just watch too many movies. (also, did you really believe that I’d tell you if it were the case)

No you can’t pay in insert weird Cryptocurrency here (I’ve had that twice, AFTER explaining to them that we don’t take CC)

I don’t know your “regular”. You’ve been here twice, and one of those times I wasn’t even working.

6. That’s not how this works.

A very pissed high society woman came to the store saying her brand new 3000 dollars Microsoft surface bought by her husband was defective because she could not get internet when she was on the move. I wondered if she had a version with a 3g/4g Sim card but quickly realized she was talking about wifi.

I tried explaining to her how wifi works and that she could not use her own wifi outside her house but could share her smartphone internet connection. She would have none of it. She said I was lying to her and making fun of her and asked to speak to my manager who then proceeded to tell her the exact same thing. She left almost screaming…

5. Everyone’s got a sad story.

My business is not a charity. We don’t give you whatever you want just because you have a sad story.

4. Bless her heart.

My mum once went on holiday across the country and asked me for the home WiFi password cause the hotel she was in wanted her to pay to use theirs. “But I have it at home!” She didn’t get it and thought I was being so cruel not letting her use it.

3. There are so many of us!

In a couple different lines of business, I’ve had women start to give me the “I’m a single mom” sob story and I say enthusiastically “I am too!” and you can see the wind go right out of their sails that I’m not going to cut them a deal out of pity.

2. He must have felt like getting frisked.

I worked at the airport and someone wanted to go through TSA with a 2 liter bottle of Coca Cola. I calmly explained that liquids weren’t allowed through security. The man gave the most genuine chuckle I’ve ever heard and said “oh! This isn’t Coca Cola! It’s gasoline!”

My coworker beat me to a reaction cause he very loudly exclaimed “What the fuck???”

1. Are you sure?

You can’t apply a coupon if you 1) don’t have it with you and 2) doesn’t even apply to wtf you ordered.

Bless the people who commit their careers to helping other humans make their way in the world – it’s not easy!

If you’ve got a great story you’re dying to share, our comments are open!

The post 12 Times Adults Asked Really Dumb Questions appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Dodged Some Serious Bullets and Came Out (Mostly) Unscathed

Everyone dodges a few bullets here and there – mostly metaphorical, thank goodness – and they can really help us take stock of our lives and what we need to change.

These 13 near-misses were big enough that there’s no way these people were the same afterward.

Check it out and see what I mean!

13. Your mom was right about your headphones.

A literal police car. The police were chasing someone and I was crossing the road and my dumba** was walkin slowly and the police car nearly grazed me.

Look both ways and take off your headphones when you cross the road kids!!

12. Luck was on his side.

I had a cardic arrest about four years ago. Dropped dead(ish) in the middle of my shift. Found out after I woke up about a week later that:

A) the manager who saw me fall was a former life guard and knew proper CPR

B) an ambulance happened to be passing about two blocks away

C) probably the best cardio unit in my state was a ten minute ambulance ride from where it all happened.

Walked out of the hospital about two weeks later, full recovery.

11. A happy ending.

This is a weird one, but the family that adopted me probably helped me dodge a huge bullet. I was born to a poor teenager and she just happened to go to a particular solo adoption agent who just happened to know my adoptive parents personally. My parents were only in the state for such a short amount of time (military fam) that it’s wild they’re the ones who managed to adopt me. They also were the mom’s second choice at first, as other families were trying to get me. From what I understand, it is a miracle that I ended up with the parents I have now.

Anyway, they’re the best family I could ask for. Seriously, they’re saints. Supportive and kind and hardworking people. My mom is my best friend. My sister is on the spectrum and taught me more about accepting myself than anyone else ever could. My dad and I didn’t have a perfect relationship, but he taught me some much-needed lessons about adulthood that I probably wouldn’t have understood so wholly without him. I often think about what kinds of families I could’ve ended up with, maybe a wealthier one, but I got them instead. They’re all a bunch of loving weirdos and I grew up with so many friends who had abusive parents, parents who hated each other, siblings who were downright cruel, etc. They never made a show of me, like lots of adoptive parents do, and they’ve always supported my far-fetched ideas. They were just… this amazing blend of structured and chill. For example, I loved farming and horses as a kid, so my parents homeschooled me and allowed me to spend every other week at our family friends’ farm, helping take care of the horses and just having fun doing farm stuff, while making sure that I was always on top of school.

Also, I was born with some health issues— my mom was a nurse and my dad a medic, so they took amazing care of me. They’ve also always respected my extreme introversion and shyness, when other people have tried to push me to pretend to be something I’m not. My brothers and sisters were much older than me, so they were able to look out for me when I was a dumb teenager, while relating with me and showing me a lot of empathy.

Another cool thing— my parents have said that they love having a young kid at an older age, as they’re old enough to be my grandparents. I’ve introduced them to things they would never have known about otherwise, and dragged them along to places and trips and events that they ended up liking a lot. One time, my dad drove me for five hours (and let me skip school) to see my favorite band on their last tour. The show was at a bar and we had an incredible time, and my dad was hit on by tons of gay dudes all night; he was very flattered and it was so fun. We also toured some local gastropubs that day and it reignited my dad’s passion for farm-to-table cooking. If we didn’t have each other, we both would’ve missed out on so much. We all just… complete each other. I feel like I really was born to be in this family.

Finally, they are black, and I am half-black. We live in an area that’s like 99% white and I was teased quite a bit as a kid, but they always had my back. They gave me a lot of perspective, as my mom literally grew up under Jim Crow laws. They taught me to be kind when it’s hard to be, and to defend myself when no one else will.

I’m so lucky.

Sorry for the “hypothetical bullet” answer, but yeah.

10. What on earth.

Just before starting HS, I got hit by a car doing 35 mph, while riding my bike. (T-boned) My bike went under the car, I was thrown up, smashed the windshield out with my back, was flipped over the car, and landed a perfect no hop landing, on my feet, like a gymnast (minus the arms raised flourish at the end).

The entire accident was witnessed by a firefighter who was watching out his window, literally standing right next to his emergency radio, and called for an ambulance.

The lady who hit me got out of her car, yelling, “I’m a nurse, I’m a nurse, lie down.”

I had no breaks or fractures, just a bruised ribcage.

9. Wait for it.

My GF and I were going to see Cats, the movie. Our Uber pulls up and straight away we notice something about the driver. To this day, we can’t articulate what it was, other than to say he just felt “off”. We got into he car, already hesitating and a touch anxious. He looks at us in the rear view mirror and makes a comment like “two lovely ladies in my car tonight” or some weird sh%t.

A few minutes in, he makes another semi-sexual innuendo comment about “riding” with him. My friend notices the handle of a knife just poking out the side of his jacket. She says “hey can we stop at 7-11, we need to grab a Gatorade real quick.” So we go in and refuse to come back out.

We’re considering whether to call the Police or not (it was so creepy, but what would we say? “Ah, some dude was creepy to us?) And while we’re hesitating, he winds down his window, brandishes this fucking hunting knife at both of us, screams something about devil-women and then just tears it out the parking lot.

To this day, my GF and I are so thankful that we got out of that Uber. Otherwise we would have made it to the movies in time and we would have seen Cats.

8. Life isn’t always fair.

I had a high school math teacher survive an aortic aneurysm.

IE his aorta, the blood vessel carrying oxygenated blood out of your lungs gets a hole in it and the blood starts leaking/shooting into your thoracic cavity. This is very fatal. It was Friday afternoon (payday).

He was in line at the bank. This bank was next door to a hospital. A trauma surgeon and EMT crew were both in the line behind him. They called him the miracle man. Teacher was a prick but lived.

7. It wasn’t meant to be.

7.92 Mauser rifle bullet.

When I was 15ish I was very depressed and got very drunk, found my great grandfather’s WWI captured German rifle, found some bullets from that time, loaded it, and put the rifle in my mouth and pulled the trigger.

Thankfully the bullet was not loaded properly / was a dud for being 90 years old at the time, and did not fire.

6. What a relief.

Almost proposed to a girl who had been cheating on me with a pile of shit that called himself my best friend.

This was years ago, and I’m getting married at the end of the month to the love of my life. Life has a way of working itself out.

5. Sends a chill straight down your spine.

My first husband and I were separated. He showed up at my apartment building unannounced and someone let him in because they recognized him from when he lived there. He wanted to come upstairs, but I met him in the lobby instead, where there were cameras and other people. He had never been violent towards me, but it didn’t feel right to allow him into my space.

He asked me to go for a drive with him and I refused. I offered to help him get help (mental health issues that he refused to treat). He declined and drove away.

He was missing for a few days but turned up several states away visiting a friend. A few days after that he took his own life using a handgun. We found out later that he’d purchased the gun here, and headed straight out of town when I refused to get in the car with him. To this day, I am thankful that I never got in that car with him. He’d never even talked about buying a gun before, I had no idea he was armed. Who knows what would have happened.

4. He was supposed to live.

My great grandfather was in the merchant navy in the war. He was in the engine room at the bottom of the ship and his friend came down to take over the shift early. Minutes later a torpedo struck and everyone at the bottom of the ship couldn’t escape and died.

My great grandfather would’ve been one of them otherwise. Then, he was in the sea for a while and happened to be picked up by some Portuguese fisherman who saved him.

Then, all part of the same tale, he escaped death again. He was meant to be on a flight back to the U.K. but got kicked off last minute to be replaced by VIPs. That plane got shot down and everyone died in it.

3. Lucky he was there.

Literally. I was walking back to our barracks in Afghanistan talking with my peers and my staff Sergeant. We get to on part my staff Sergeant grabbed my collar and pulled me back.

Right there was a unexploded 40mm grenade projectile from a launcher sitting where my my foot was about to land. Big yikes.

2. I’m holding my breath.

My dad was going through severe depression 10 years ago and my life was equally shitty for a whole multitude of reasons, and it was rubbing off on me.

I spent what felt like half an hour crying on the floor and working up the nerve to pull the trigger, then when I finally did, the safety was on; I sold my gun the next morning.

Wish my dad was able to say the same 3 years later (R.I.P.)

1. Violence always escalates.

Well, about 15 years ago I dated a guy for less than a year. It was an awful, abusive relationship and I was happy to get out of it when I did.

About… 8-9 years ago, I saw him on the news. He strangled his girlfriend to death. He then dismembered her and lived with her body for a month or so before he was caught.

Edit: wow. Thank you for all of the awards. I’ve actually written about this before on askreddit under a “have you dated a serial killer?” Question. Here was my answer which gives a bit more detail on it.

“Not a SERIAL killer… but I dated a killer.

He was not a killer at the time.

We were young, and met on a dating website. He went to my high school but graduated a few years before me. The first… month? Was ok.

Then he changed.

We had a huge fight one time because he said something silly. I don’t even remember what it was, but I playfully threw a pillow at him. He immediately flipped out, punched a hole in my door and told me he’d make it so I would never have anything to come back to.

Another time, he FINALLY got a job. Didn’t have one when I met him and I was paying for everything. After job searching for months, he got one. It’s his first few days at his new job, and all of a sudden he doesn’t want to go in. No reason, he just doesn’t feel like it. I tell him he better get to that damn job or he’s going to lose it. After a lot if arguing, he gets ready and we both get in the car so I can drive him to work. As I’m driving, it gets MORE heated and he starts strangling me while I’m at a red light. The red light was right next to a gas station and I pull in there while his hands are around my throat. I manage to get him off me and I get out of the car and scream, “what the fuck?!”

“I’m sorry. I blacked out. You just… pissed me off so much! I told you I didn’t want to go to work!”

The relationship lasted less than a year. He cheated on me with some girl, and for the first and only time in my life, I was GLAD someone was cheating on me. You can go live with her and be someone else’s problem now.

Then years later when I saw him on the news, I felt really bad for that thought.

He had handcuffed his then girlfriend (who had just had his baby) to the bed, and strangled her to death. He thought she had cheated on him. He then dismembered her body and lived with it for a month in their apartment. Eventually, the smell tipped some people off along with his gf not being seen by family in a bit.

The baby was ok though and was taken in by the girl’s family.

He went on the run, but was later caught and is currently in prison.”

No news article though. I have posted a news article with it before and got banned. Hopefully with all the info I gave you, plus someone guessed the state below, you can find it for yourself so I don’t get banned again for “posting personal information” by posting a public news article. Lol.

I’m all for taking stock of my life, but I’m glad nothing like this has forced my hand!

If you’ve had a close call in your life, share the details with us in the comments!

The post People Who Dodged Some Serious Bullets and Came Out (Mostly) Unscathed appeared first on UberFacts.

14 Times People Kept it Really “Trashy Classy”

It usually doesn’t take much for people to show you their true colors, especially in an age where we’re all showing each other everything all the time on the internet.

You’re not always gonna like what ya see. Here’s some unbelievably trashy recent behavior, via Reddit.

14. Get the shot

Check the speedometer in the background. This is a moving car with no hands on the wheel or eyes on the road.

MLM hun thinks taking pictures of her fake nails (while making sure to show off her Benz) is imperative while driving 60mph. from trashy

13. The rat pack

Like…why?

Someone slashed two tyres and spray painted the words Contagious Rat on a medical doctor’s car in Barcelona from iamatotalpieceofshit

12. Give it up

Ah yes, the ultimate place for public discourse. A bridge wall.

Graffiti in my area from trashy

11. Accidents happen

I hope somebody dents your door off.

Trashy human (sry if repost) from trashy

10. A clean break

There’s so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin.

This was posted in as restaurant facebook group from trashy

9. Cut the lights

Do you live next door to the actual literal Grinch or?

Why on earth would anyone do this from trashy

8. Snitch tips

You do know that servers could lose their jobs and restaurants could lose their licenses if they serve alcohol to underage people, right?

My friend waited on two underage kids who tried to order drinks. Stiffing servers has always made someone a bad person, but during a pandemic when benefits have run out and restaurant employees are struggling more than they already did? Despicable. from trashy

7. Good parenting

“I suppose I could use this as an opportunity to teach my kids about one of life’s hard truths, but instead I’ll just extend the heartbreak for two years and give my neighbors a corpse to deal with.
Then brag about it.”

“Good parenting” from trashy

6. Sick burns

You do know that you can like, be a Christian AND wear seatbelts and stuff, right?

This gem is from an old friend. They blocked me soon after I left the comment in green. I would 100% do it again! from trashy

5. Mind yourself

Are you getting paid by the tear, my dude?

POS professor still wants student to attend zoom meeting despite her father’s funeral being the same day. Says “it could take your mind off things.” from iamatotalpieceofshit

4. Flower power

Imagine doing this and then posting about it like it’s charming or something.

Trashy from trashy

3. Got ya pegged

Imagine just adopting “screw the elderly” as your new proud ethos.

Pour one out for Aunt Peggy from trashy

2. Bullying

Um, pretty sure this would be unacceptable even in normal times.

Ah, a genuine asshat in its natural habitat. Twitter. from iamatotalpieceofshit

1. The paper trail

Remember when this was our big concern? Good lord.

trying to profit off of a crisis from iamatotalpieceofshit

 

Remember to stay classy out there, everybody.

What’s the trashiest thing you’ve seen lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 14 Times People Kept it Really “Trashy Classy” appeared first on UberFacts.

History Buffs Might Have Even Missed These 14 Dark Moments

I can attest to the fact that the truth is definitely stranger than fiction. There are some things that have happened in human history that, even if an author could dream them up, no one would ever buy.

Some of them, as these 14 events prove, are completely dark, showing the absolute depravity of humans, corporations, governments, or all of the above – and these are niche enough that even the most avid of history buffs will probably learn a little something!

14. So much hate in the world.

The Cambodian Genocide. You could have been killed just for wearing glasses, therefore being an intellectual (at least this was the Khmer Rouge logic). The prisoners were tortured so badly that they tried to commit suicide in every possible way, even by using some spoons.

The executions used to be like this: the prisoners were put on a straight line and to the second prisoner was given an object like a shovel or a hammer which he had to use to kill the prisoner in front of him. Then, the same object was given to the third prisoners and the cycle would repeat until there was nobody alive except for the last prisoner on the line, who was then killed by the guards.

Since many medics were killed or sent to work as farmers, the local regime used child medics to conduct experiments on the prisoners: they used teenagers with no knowledge of western medicine to experiment on people without anesthesia. For example, they opened one person’s chest just to see his heart beating. Imho, this s**t is even worse than Unit 731.

13. Too many people got away with it.

The massacre of kalavrita. It is a village is Greece. The Germans entered it and rounded up all the male villagers in a field. They then shot them all with machine guns. After that they got the children and women and put them in the church.

When everyone was inside, they locked the doors and set fire to the church. Around 20 minutes into the burning, a German soldier couldn’t take it anymore and opened the doors. Around half of the people escaped the fire but the rest perished.

The German soldier was shot for this, and if you go to kalavrita today his name is on the memorial. No one was punished for this apart from the leader of the division, who I was told by my grandmother that he died in a gulag. But everyone else got away with it. It is sad that no one knows about this, as things like this happened all over Greece and Russia and Poland.

I only know about this because my Great grandmother was one who escaped in the church. This massacre was in retaliation for the villagers supporting the local resistance force, which had recently killed about 10 nazis.

12. She starred in a season of American Horror Story.

Madame LaLaurie

Slave owner who tortured her slaves in horrifying ways. Evil sh%t.

11. Who thinks of these things?

“Khuk Khi Kai,” or the “Chicken Poop Prison” in Thailand. Used by French forces to hold political prisoners (rebellious Thai people) in the Chanthaburi region.

The long-standing impacts of this much-feared torture are still felt in the region today – there’s a Thai saying for those who buck authority that roughly translates to “Be careful not to get caught in a chicken poop prison.” I learned about this prison from my parents who learned about it from theirs.

How it worked, was there was a small, 2-story prison. Bottom floor houses the prisoners, and the top floor is basically a huge chicken coop.

The grated floor/ceiling ensures that the chicken poop falls onto the prisoners below.

Apparently, even though the “maximum sentence” in Khuk Khi Kai was around a week, it was one of the most feared punishments there was.

10. I can’t believe more people don’t know.

The January 1945 sinking of the MV Wilhelm Gustloff. It was a German ship carrying fleeing Germans from the Eastern Front to the West through the Baltic Sea. It was sunk by the Soviet Navy shorty after setting sail.

The total death toll is unknown but estimated at over 9000 since there were so many stowaways. It is the worst maritime disaster ever, several times more than the Titanic.

It didn’t get nearly the press because they were the enemy so who cares, and the Nazi media certainly didn’t report it because they’re at the waning days of a war they’re badly losing so the last thing they need is more hits to their already sinking morale.

9. The face I am making right now.

Margaret Beaufort – mother of Henry VII (father of Henry VIII

She was married off at age 12 to Edmund (25) who was desperate to get her pregnant as quickly as he could. It was not unusual for members of the aristocracy to marry young. It was slightly more unusual, because of the risk to both mother and child, for them to get pregnant before the age of 14.

Edmund died of plague while Margaret was pregnant, she was widowed and alone and pregnant during war. The birth was a very difficult one and would scar her forever. For a time they believed that she and her unborn child would perish. Not only was she very young but she was also slight of stature and undeveloped for her age so it’s a wonder she even survived childbirth.

It was so difficult for her that she never became pregnant again over the rest of her years, despite remarrying two more times. It is widely believed that she was physically damaged during the childbirth and was unable to conceive again, but it’s also possible she was too traumatized to ever put herself in that situation again.

Either way, Margaret devoted herself to her son, calling him “my dearest and only desired joy in this world.”

8. I hate these stories.

Mother and Baby homes here in Ireland. Most Irish people will know about this, but most people from other countries don’t.

Basically, mother and baby homes (or laundries) were places run by nuns where women would be sent if they got pregnant before marriage, and would do all the laundry from people who sent their dirty clothes to the homes until they gave birth.

During childbirth they would be provided with no real medical procedure, anaesthesia etc, and the nuns would often verbally abuse them during the process for being so sinful as to have sex before marriage.

When the baby was born, the umbilical cord was cut and that was the last contact the mother would have with the baby. Ever.

The nuns would only ever rarely let the baby live, and if they did it would be abused by the nuns it’s whole childhood for being the product of sin. But, most of the babies didn’t survive, and you would think, maybe, they would be killed humanely. Nope. Dropped into a septic tank.

They’ve all been shut down now obviously, but they ran until the late 70s I believe. During excavations they would find the remains of around 300 newborn babies for each home.

I apologize if any of this is a little inaccurate, I will gladly correct myself if I’ve gotten something wrong.

7. I would think a quicker death would be welcome.

Use of the “Judas Cradle” for torture:

The Judas Cradle was a pyramid-shaped seat set up high where the victim would be seated on the pinnacle, while tied.

The pyramid point would penetrate the victim’s anus or vagina and the sheer weight and movement of the person would slowly help it penetrate more.

The torturer would sometimes add weight to the victim’s legs, rock them, or add oil to the pyramid to increase the pain and quicken death.

6. Unthinkable.

The Children’s Blizzard. It occurred in January 1888 on an unseasonably warm day. The weather was nice and many school-kids were tricked into not wearing coats or jackets to school, some only in short sleeves.

While the kids were in class, the weather outside changed dramatically from warm and sunny at noon to dark and heavy like a thunderstorm, with heavy winds and visibility at 3 steps by 3 pm.

Children left school to go home and do their chores (this was in Minnesota) and were expected to milk the cows and do whatever else was involved in the family farm. But they got lost in the darkness and snow and the wind and many froze to death in their town, just yards from houses or other sources of refuge.

235 people, mostly children died.

5. Why the nuns get a bad rep.

Magdalene asylums, also known as Magdalene laundries.

Places of “reform” for women that didn’t fit the idea of a good upstanding citizen. The most well known ones were in Ireland. The women and girls were abused and mistreated by asylum staff, most of whom were nuns.

Mass graves, selling these women’s children to people in other countries, blocking any parental rights… There’s apparently at least one movie coming out, a lot of stories about it, and so many people sharing stories from their mothers and grandmothers.

4. Probably more we’ll never know about, too.

Human “experimentation” by Japanese Unit 731 during WWII, committed primarily against innocent Chinese civilians. Nothing I’ve ever heard of in my life, including in fiction, is darker than the horrors committed for years by Unit 731, a military biological and chemical weapons research division of the Japanese Imperial military.

There’s not enough room in a Reddit post to list half of it, but here’s a taste: Dissections of living babies, pregnant women, etc. without anesthesia (also known as a vivisection) usually after they had been deliberately exposed and left to suffer from horrible diseases, chemical and biological weapons, and so on. Freezing limbs off of victims. Horror-movie sadistic surgeries involving cutting off limbs and attaching them to the wrong sides of a victim, or removing organs and connecting the tubes back together without the organs to see what would happen, such as running the esophagus straight to the intestines with no stomach in between.

Not to mention the fact that the victims were routinely raped and tortured for the sake of rape and torture, without even the flimsy excuse of “science” being conducted.

And we’re talking about thousands upon thousands of victims, usually hapless Chinese civilians, political prisoners, POWs, and the homeless, over the course of years in huge facilities with thousands of staff committing these atrocities.

The icing on the cake? General MacArthur and the rest of the US government found out about it when they captured Japan — and they granted Unit 731 immunity for their war crimes so long as they share their findings with America and ONLY America. Many of the former Unit 731 members even went on to have very successful and profitable futures in Japan after the war.

3. Room for sheep.

Highland clearances.

Thousands of Scots were forcibly evicted from their homes, many were forcibly exported to Canada, the US or Australia, many who refused were massacred with whole villages of women & children r*ped, many died of starvation on the forced marches or from famine, all so they could farm sheep.

2. Why, though?

You know Jameson Whiskey?

Well a long time ago in like the 19th one of their family Heirs fed a little girl to cannibals.

Like legit went and bought a little girl in the Congo as a slave and brought her up to a cannibal tribe because he wanted to see them.

Sick f*ck drew pictures of it and s**t as it was happening.

Of course for years the family tried to bury the fact, and the stories and such. Discredit the witnesses. But the crazy bastard was happy to document the whole thing, his only rebuttal incase it reflected badly on him was that “he wanted to see if they would do it”

And his accounts matched up with the evidence witnesses had provided.

1. Racist history.

I wrote my undergraduate history thesis on human zoos at the 1893 and 1904 world’s fairs. Even people who are vaguely aware this was a thing may not remember that the US government specifically sponsored the “anthropology” department in 1904. It was organized so that fairgoers walked up a hill, and the people on display “evolved” from the most ape-like to the most civilized.

At the bottom of that hill were Pygmies from the Belgian Congo, at least one of whom had been “saved” from the infamous Force Publique when they sold him to a fair recruiter. After the fair, that recruiter took him “home” (to a village that had already been burned by the Belgians.) He begged the recruiter not to leave him there, so the recruiter took him to NYC and gave him to the American Museum of Natural History, who loaned him to the Bronx Zoo, which put him on display in the ape house. His name was Ota Benga, and he got out of the zoo after African-American church groups protested. He tried to build a life in America for over 10 years before he shot himself in 1916.

Farther up that hill were Ainu people from Japan, and a large contingent of Filipinos (the US had recently taken the Philippines as a colony). A few months after the fair closed, one of the Ainu wrote to someone they’d met in St. Louis to report that they’d made it home safely, and explain how they were spending all the money they’d made in tips on new livestock.

Continuing up the hill, there were also Native American people, including Geronimo, who was still being held as a “prisoner of war” by the US army (some 20 years after the Indian Wars were over.) In his memoirs, Geronimo writes about the soldiers taking him on the Ferris Wheel in order to make fun of him, and how he reclaimed the moment by teasing them right back.

Another Indian resident at the fair irked the fair governors by spending her tip money on a baby carriage for her kid. They thought it would be more “authentic” to carry him around on a board, but she liked the labor-saving carriage. She won that argument.

At the top of the hill was a “model Indian School,” of residential school infamy. The teenagers on display there were “proof” of how savages could be civilized into almost-white-passing specimens. The girls’ basketball team from that school competed against other teams that traveled to the fair and the girls were, in effect, world champions. When the fair was over they all got sent back to reservations or shipped off to “good Christian families” (who wanted free labor).

I try to remember these stories because it helps me think about the humanity of the people on display, and always remember not to tolerate systems that could – can – dehumanize people to that degree.

I know I learned a few things, and I am aghast at people, y’all.

If you know a story that would fit onto this list, share it with us in the comments!

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