People Imagine Which Species Would Rule Earth If Humans Didn’t Exist

Humankind has walked the world for just about 6 million years.

In the 4 Billion year lifespan of the planet, that’s practically a newborn.

Of course, we’ve been busy.  We built cities and highways and slowly became the dominant lifeform on this little blue world.

Using our opposable thumbs and massive brains we cultivated the land and conquered the oceans.

We spread through the whole world until our species could be found on every continent.

Humans lucked out in the evolutionary war.

We had the right biology, the right temperament, the necessary mix of ingenuity and tenacity required to claw our way to the top of the food chain and stay there.

However, what if things had gone a wee bit differently?

Redditor Mompkey wondered this very thing on Reddit when he asked: 

“Which species do you think would be dominant if humans didn’t exist?”

I would welcome our lupine overlords.

“Wolves. They can, and have, successfully adapted to most of the various biomes on the planet. There’s a reason we domesticated them and took them everywhere with us.” ~ CedarWolf

Some guesses stayed very close to genetic family tree.

“The ‘Pongo’ lineage (orangutans and related species) radiated throughout Africa, Europe, and Asia, before humans (or any other homo or pan species).”

“Many of them were ground dwelling (such as Sivapithecus, in India, for example).”

“If it weren’t for humans (a speciation of chimpanzees; the pan genus), the Pongo genus (specifically a species similar to or such as Sivapithicus; many fossils have been lost and there were definitely more species than we know about).”

“And its various species, would have been the dominant genus, based on the following reasoning:”

“What makes human beings the dominant species is – “

“(1) the combination of opposable thumbs and upright posture, and,”

“(2) sophisticated communication, including oral, and written language.”

“Many other species have oral language, and those languages have not been studied.”

“However, no other species have written language.”

“Written language allows complex ideas (sophisticated technology) to be passed down multiple generations later, so even if nobody that person directly interacted within their lifetime was able to duplicate what that person did,”

“(Say build a chariot, create gunpowder, etc.) someone multiple generations later could read a book and figure it out if they had the desire to.”

“Besides Pongo and Pan, there are various other species of monkeys who could have eventually reached the niche human beings ended up filling.”

“Most of the other primate species are tree-dwelling to such an extreme extent that they’d be unlikely to be very ‘dominant’.”

“Other than possibly other monkeys or apes, that title would end up going to some dog, cat or bear species (tigers, grizzlies, wolves, for example, not including many megafauna which went extinct when humans came into contact with them).”

“An argument could also be made that diseases are more dominant than humans.” ~ Longjumping_Emu_1297

Or,

“Wouldn’t it be just another off shoot of humans like the Neanderthal or heidelbergensis?” ~ SnooHesitations8174

In some instances, size does matter. 

“Elephants.”

“Nobody f*cks with elephants” ~ amarghir1234

But not always.

“Probably ants tbh.”

“They just seem like they already took over the world in masses and are everywhere.” ~ItsLenTastic

“Free Willy” would have been a very different movie.

“Orcas.”

“Definitely f*cking orcas.”

“Not only are they smart, they also are apex predators who f*ck up even the strongest of sharks.”

“They have been known to yeet seals 80 feet out of the water.”

“My bets are on the murder oreo.” ~ BigCut5442

Of course, not everyone seemed on board with the assignment.

“Humans are the only species that seek to dominate others.”

“Other animals just want to live in the balance of nature. They’re just trying to survive, they don’t have time to take over the world.” ~ Nisa4444

Others gave multiple guesses.

“1. None.”

“Intelligence is not a goal of evolution.”

“Survival in nature is achieved mostly by being faster, bigger, gathering in numbers, having more offspring, bigger claws, etc.”

“More, not better.”

“Intelligence is only useful for physically weak, highly sociable opportunistic omnivores that are in the middle of the food chain, needing to hunt and avoid being hunted at the same time.”

“Like our ancestors.”

“Human intelligence is a product of the extremely competitive and dangerous environment in which the hominins evolved.”

“They had to outsmart their competitors and prey, take every little chance they had at survival and then some, be tough af.”

“It also helped having appropriate appendages for creating tools, a carnivore diet to feed a bigger brain, etc.”

“It was basically a perfect storm that created humans.”

“2. Another ape. For the same reasons as above.”

“3. Raccoons. They are sociable, opportunistic omnivores, have tiny hands. That would be cute.” ~holeontheground

Flight would be a great advantage.

“Corvids particularly Crows.” ~Outrageous-Monk-6281

This is solid logic.

“Chickens.”

“They just look like they know sh*t.” ~ Morfa_

Whoever has the most teeth, wins.

“Sharks, they are the dominant species on 3/4 of the earth’s surface already, they have survived mass extinctions and would thrive even more without humans mucking up their habitat.” ~ Who_Wouldnt_

Clearly, there were other contenders to the throne.

The dinos could’ve had their shot had they not been taken out early.

Size doesn’t always mean a winning score on the evolutionary battlefield though—after all we’re hardly the biggest animals.

There were lots of suggestions from the mammal kindgom but insects, birds, reptiles and fish had a few strong contenders as well.

What do you think?

Had our luck been a little worse, or our timing a little off, might we have been usurped by bats?

By shrews?

Perhaps it wouldn’t even be an animal that evolved to dominate the world but a plant?

These sort of theoretical puzzles aren’t just for fun, they can open us up to possibilities that we never would’ve considered before.

“What if we hadn’t been the dominant life on Earth” could just as easily be “What if we explored the world” or “What if we could harness electricity.” The answers to those questions had a major impact on our species.

That’s the real power of our species, after all, the ability to think outside our experience and dream of more.

The infinite possibility of “What if.”

Workers Get Poetic About Their Profession Using Only Haiku

We spend much of our time at work each day so it makes sense that people develop a sense of humor about it all. We also spend a considerable amount of time talking about what we do for our living, too.

Think about it. When was the last time you were hanging out with new people and to break the ice, they asked you, “What do you do for a living?”

It happens a lot, right?

But suppose you’re bored of launching into the same song-and-dance, the same boring explanation each time? After all, the answers you give have been committed to memory by now, haven’t they?

Imagine if someone asked you to describe what you do in the form of a poem. Things would get much more interesting then!

That was the principle of the matter here thanks to Redditor Lost_Borealin asked the online community:

“Writing only in haiku, what do you do for work?”

IT professionals definitely understand the struggle written about here:

“How can I help you?”

“Oh my god, it is blinking.”

“Try restarting it.” ~ TrafficGreat

And here’s another from someone in the same profession:

“You broke your laptop.”

“Somehow this is my problem?”

“Yelling won’t fix it.” ~ zerinsackeh1

Law school students definitely have heavy workloads, but this person is almost in the clear, hooray!

“I am in law school.”

“I do research for money.”

“Graduating soon.” ~ -MoodIndigo-

And here’s a peek into the future:

“I used to do that.”

“Now I write briefs all damn day.”

“But it pays the bills.” ~ OneFingerIn

X-ray technicians are undoubtedly busy these days!

“I see black and white.”

“Gray all over in between.”

“When X-rays hit you.” ~ -CrowWill-

Here we have a submission from someone representing Chipotle!

“Black or pinto beans?”

“You know guac is extra right?”

“Any sides with that?” ~ Noosents

And while not a job, here’s a submission from a satisfied customer:

“Whaddup cake day bro.

” “I ate Chipotle tonight.”

“It was damn good, thanks.” ~ TheMulattoMaker

Here’s a submission from someone who is not working currently—and we’re sorry to hear has been sick for some time:

“Work was years ago.”

“Unfortunately got sick.”

“On Reddit all day…” ~ GeniusEE

Here’s another person who’s unemployed—and we appreciate them being such a good sport:

“I am unemployed.”

“Guess I sit around a lot.”

“God I need a job.” ~ theEluminator

And now for a few submissions from the service industry.

Like this one:

“Put away returns.”

“Are you ready to check out?”

“Refrigerator.” ~ azemetrx

And another—this one from a store manager:

“May I speak with the-”

“Manager? That’s me, Karen.”

“Screaming then ensues.” ~ TitanCatTC

One from someone outlining the bane of every service worker’s existence:

“Is this a dollar?”

“Have you changed your prices yet?”

“Hey, do you work here?” ~ Euclybx

Another, this one from someone who has a knack for rhyming:

“Arranging produce.”

“So that customers buy it.”

“Just to deep fry it.” ~ MackeralSky

Another, this one from someone who does the same thing:

“At a grocery store.”

“I put out all the produce.”

“Throw out all the bad.” ~ ggfchi

And one more, this one from a restaurant worker:

“Service industry.”

“But I cannot stand people.”

“So I bus tables.” ~ skinnybastard

Here’s someone doing some very important work that I’m sure many people are grateful for after the hellish last year-and-a-half that we’ve had:

“Vaccine researchers.”

“Rely on me to fill studies.”

“With lots of people.” ~ bellyflop2

Hey, remember what being a college student was like?

Don’t remember?

Well, here’s a reminder:

“Nothing but schoolwork.”

“Occasionally homework.”

“Ugh anyday now.” ~ Pagalingling40

Here’s someone who’s in school and decided to be clever… we see what they did there.

“What is a haiku?

“I’m in school so I don’t know.”

“So is this a haiku?” ~FewJackfruit1432

Here’s a teacher telling us how it is.

“I help shape young minds.”

“I put up with their parents.”

“I’m not paid enough.” ~ edgarpicke

This person perfectly summed up what it’s like to work remotely—so we’re guessing their life didn’t change much when the pandemic hit:

“It’s much like before.”

“I still help people.”

“But now I’m in my PJs.” ~ slice_of_pi

This person probably has some pretty interesting stories about the people who come into their shop:

“I need some money.”

“What is your collateral?”

“Maybe this TV?” ~ Winquisitor

We’re taking an educated guess here and guessing that this person does something with… wait for it… products:

“Writing about products.”

“Creating ads for products.”

“Posting about products.” ~ snowstormspawn

Oooh… we’ve got someone special over here.

Anyone have any educated guesses of their own?

We’re thinking something with a high security clearance.

“It is very rare.”

“Can’t be too specific.”

“Don’t want to dox myself.” ~ Hlodvigovich915

Okay, you know how hard scientists have worked over the last year to get us to understand the importance of taking the COVID-19 vaccine?

Here’s a submission from an epidemiologist who just had to express their frustration:

“Poxed populations.”

“Epidemiology.”

“Revered, then ignored.” ~ annoyedgrunt

Next one is a lawyer?

Someone in publishing?

Either way, they’re keeping you out of legal trouble:

“You can’t publish that.”

“It is copyrighted art.”

“Get permission now.” ~ Frysiel

Here’s a submission from someone who works with disabled individuals in their capacity at the Social Security Administration:

“Disabled people.”

“They want to go to work soon.”

“SSA questions.” ~ trashytamboriney

And here’s another submission, this one from someone who doesn’t sound too happy with that same government agency:

“Disabled people.”

“Waiting on phone forever.”

“Then disconnected.” ~ Batfink27

Here’s one from someone who’s definitely sick and tired of working in software development:

“So sick of fixing bugs.”

“So sick of feeling dumb every day.”

“Lots of money, but crushing.” ~ bctwoPoint0

I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking, “Hey, Mr. Writer! Give us a haiku of your own! What’s it like being a full time writer?”

Well, sorry to disappoint you all, but writing haikus isn’t my strong suit.

If you must know what being a writer is like, then I just want you to imagine sitting in front of your screen all day, largely in solitude.

But here’s one last one from an editor:

“Your mistakes are mine,”

“words to correct and refine.”

“Your errors—my job.” ~ LakotaGrl

People Divulge Which Questions No One Should Ever Ask On A First Date

When on a first date…. keep it light.

I mean, you do want to know if you’re compatible and all of that, but don’t get crazy.

Life is not being decided over your first plate of calamari.

Maybe find out someone’s favorite color before we get into baby names.

Wondering for their own reasons, Redditor koyanggi6563 wanted to discuss what chatter is and is not best for the beginning of romance.

They asked:

“What’s something that should never be asked on a first date?”

What are your thoughts?

That is Private

“Ask me about my job… we’re fine. Specific questions about my salary or savings… I nope out.”  ~ ghost882

“I do think talking about if a savings account has a balance and if you have an emergency fund is important, but specific numbers are too much.”  ~ Global_Criticism_911

The Body Count Percentage

“On a first date, my date asked me what percent of women I had sex with on first dates.”  ~ nyle2

“I beg your pardon kind sir, if I may, could you possibly bestow upon me some rather interesting knowledge in regards to how many souls you make romance to, upon your first date?”

“Much obliged, kind sir, my everlasting gratitude is upon you in infinite magnitudes for your most generous understanding.” ~ -Z-3-R-0-

Are the accounts full? 

“How much money I have.”

“Before I was married, I went on a date with a woman who asked me on the first date, how financially comfortable I was.”

“We had known each other for a few weeks (mutual friend). I think she asked because she deducted that I lived alone in a house I owned, at age 25, and it probably appeared that I didn’t work (was self employed).”

“As soon as she asked, it was obvious why she pushed us to try dating because. She saw money.”

“She ended up marrying for money, but not mine. It’s obvious there’s a prenup, because she’s miserable, and not leaving him.”  ~ FinestTreesInDa7Seas

When in a Diner…

“I had a girl once talk about how her period was so bad this month it caused her chest to break out in hives.”

“She then wanted to show me… in a diner… full of families and shit. I did not ask.”  ~ bybeardandthrone

Deep Breaths…

“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”  ~ Tzardine

“Insufficient.”

“Chloroform takes 15 – 20 minutes of steady deep breathing in to successfully knock someone completely out and that’s if you are strong enough to keep steady pressure over their mouth and nose while being able to hold them still in your arms to limit their movements.”

“So a quick sniff won’t do anything but have them tell you yes it does or I don’t know what chloroform smells like so no?”  ~ The_Book-JDP

History Out

“I had a first date ask me my favorite genocide, and then went on to talk about various historical genocides for the rest of the date. I was really creeped out.”  ~ gallopingwalloper

Astrology Issues

“What is your zodiac sign?”  ~ SquareUnderwear69

“Please ask me this on put first date. Then I know you’re a superstitious person who determines their life via ‘magic,’ and I won’t bother with a second date.”  ~ AtheneSchmidt

Matters of the Heart

“So, how many men’s hearts have you broken before?”

“I don’t know if this is a common thing to ask but I got asked this by 2-3 people and I found it a very weird thing to ask.”

“And to clarify the question wasn’t phrased like they were asking about my past relationships, instead it seemed like they were asking how many I turned down.”

“I found it very weird, who remembers that like it’s a conquest or something?”  ~ firefly158

All the Shots!!

“I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’”

“Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kind of lost track myself.”

“But being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well do ya, punk?’” ~ JunkieM0nkey

All in the Family

“How many kids do you want?”  ~ 1nqv

“Maybe not so good for the first date but definitely something to talk about quite early in the relationship.”

“Asking ‘do you like kids?’ or something like that can totally do in the first date depending on the timing, context and both of your personalities.”

“Way too many people leave this type of question for very late in the relationship only to break up because one wants kids and the other hates them.”  ~ Digitijs

Who takes the check?

“To have one of the dates pay for both meals.”  ~ Homerlikesdonuts

“Disagree with that for the first date. It’s totally fine to do afterwards, but I think whoever asked the other out on the date, should pay for the first date.”

“After that you can split it or take turns or whatever.”  ~ Testastic

Percentages…

“Had a girl tell me she was a feminist which I’m ok with 100% so when the bill came I paid for what I had with 20% tip and her reaction wasn’t great.”  ~ ghanksta57

“This is obviously a made up story but…”

“If you ask someone out on a date, you should pay. At least the first time.”

“If I invite a girl on a date and she insists on paying for herself, that’s a giant sign that she’s not into me.”

“And if I was invited on a date and then they expected me to pay, it would be the first and last date.”  ~ LightningRodofH8

Say “I Do!”

“Future marriage plans.”

“Actually happened to me on a blind date setup by a close friend who was trying to help out a colleague of his from work.”

“She was just a little bit desperate to find her love connection.”

“There was no second date.”  ~ udetme

What have we learned?

Be cool. Be calm. And just get to know someone before the third degree.

It’s a first date not a marriage proposal.

People Explain What They Miss Most From The Early Days Of The internet

Do you remember when the internet was new? We had grunge, and dial-up and the computer was a mystery.

Can you believe how far we’ve come? Now the internet rules the world.

Those who can think back, admit it, we all kinda thought… “This will never last.”

How wrong we were.

But with growth comes massive change.

Redditor ransom0374 wanted to discuss the good ole days of the internet, a much simpler time.

They asked:

“What do you miss from early internet times?”

Do you remember the time?

All that was new…

“I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was.”

“It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet. And if you were good at the internet ‘Hackerman’ you were like a God amongst your peers.”

“It seems like there isn’t anything ‘new’ on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made.”  ~ SmallTownJerseyBoy

It had the look…

“I miss the look and aesthetic of old websites. Now everything is so clean and boring.”  ~ LucianaLeak

“I personally like the designs from 2003/2004 for example. If you go on sites such as Spacehey or YTMND, they look very unique with the basic layouts of text and GIFs.” 

“The moving text and how damn smooth it is, also appeals to me.”

“It looks very satisfying and futuristic. The crispy gifs always feel homely. And you could copy and paste images and icons that the site had.”

“But many modern sites, just not the “high-end” ones still allow you to do this.”

“Sites made for a Windows XP computer do look better than sites made especially for a phone.”  ~ KappaMazinksy

Ads, ads and ads… I hate ads. 

“Variety. There’s a popular tweet that says something like ‘the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.’”

“I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it’s just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit.”

“Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page.”

“I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren’t any better.”

“There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page wasn’t sponsored ads, that had nothing to do with what you looked up, and you could go to a website and it didn’t block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list, or save 10% on their merchandise.”  ~ SociallyInept2020

Use responsibly…

“How people used to treat it.”

“The internet was, not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything.”

“It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now.”

“Now? There’s so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalise your beliefs.”

“It’s quantity over quality. There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socialising, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about.” ~ CameOutAndFarted

Silly language…

“AIM away messages saying stupid crap like ‘BRB going to get some bagel bites.’”  ~ fluffy_boy_cheddar

“Don’t forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII.”

“Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild.”  ~ YOLOswagBRO69

“It was dumb and fun.”

“That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML.”

“There really wasn’t a corporate presence at all. You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone’s cats.”

“You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun.”  ~ diegojones4

Too much to know…

“The learning was endless.”

“There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world.”

“If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you’d find any website that had ever mentioned that thing.”

“There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn’t feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click.”

“There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same.”

“I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I’m probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?”  ~ thatgirlfromthething

Let’s chat

“AOL and Yahoo! chatrooms.”

“And the Population Zero forum (I think it was a forum). It was for a local band that attended Orange Glen High School in Escondido, California.”  ~ Reddit

When times were good…

“I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone.”

“Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen.”

“I remember looking at someone’s website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend.”

“I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly.”  ~ LusciousofBorg

Now it’s a business…

“I miss when streaming was a hobby and now everyone wants to make it a career.”

“Meanwhile for every streamer that makes a living, there’s tens of thousands with 0 viewers, or 1 if they’re logged into their own stream.”  ~ Shadow_Bannedit

Crazy at my fingertips…

“The pure unadulterated wildness of it. This was the first video I was ever sent. Blew my damn mind. Lol.”

“It was funny, crass and anti-establishment. It was crap my parents wouldn’t, in a million years, let me watch.”

“But here it was, unrestricted and at my fingertips.”

“One thing folks born with the internet will never get to experience is that moment of pure joy when something as simple as a low quality and crass cartoon just blows your damn mind because of all the POSSIBILITIES it represents.”  ~ Vanviator

All the popular kids…

“I can’t remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks.”

“I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time.”  ~ AtheneSchmidt

Oh, the good old days—they were wild and fun.

The internet is our bread and butter now. Can you even imagine life without it?

Do you want to?

People Break Down The Best Psychological Tricks They Know

When faced with conflict, many of us have the tendency to respond in a combative manner if the situation appears to lack effective solutions.

But there is always a workaround that requires less energy and prevents exacerbation.

Depending on their intensity, examples of de-escalating tension in an encounter can include sitting closer to an aggressive individual to avoid a possible attack or looking deeply into the eyes of someone giving an unsatisfying answer to a serious question.

These and many other calming maneuvers may seem simple but they are effective Jedi mind tricks that could come in handy.

Curious to hear more examples, Redditor WindyBerniercardou2 asked:

“What was the very first psychological trick you learned that blew your mind?”

Ready to take notes? Then let’s begin.

Disorienting Trick

“If you ask someone to move over to an arbitrary different location to talk (could be 5 feet away) they are much more likely to listen to you and follow instructions. (One of my tricks as an elementary school teacher.)” – jerikkoa

Creating A Path

“When walking through a crowd don’t look at the People in front of you. Instead look past them where you are trying to go and most people will make room without noticing it.” – IridiumFlare96

Dealing With An Angsty Teen

“I taught teenagers in a really tough London school. A colleague taught me a brilliant trick to get a kid to calm down when they were angry:”

“Look them calmly in the eye and say ‘what do you want to happen next?’”

“Most of the time they were so caught up in emotion they hadn’t thought about the consequences of their dickery. As soon as you prod them to think about consequences, most of them would calm down straight away.” – Celtic_Cheetah_92

A New Lullaby

“Talking myself to sleep. I’ll think things like, ‘my bed is sooooo comfortable. Sleeping is soooo easy. I love sleeping. Sleeping is great.’”

“Instead of agonizing over why I can’t sleep. Positively reinforcing myself is my new lullaby lmao.” – HarrisonRyeGraham

Cure For Workplace Procrastination

“My first workplace trick that I still use regularly: people will procrastinate with their own work, but drop everything to quickly ‘correct’ someone else’s work.”

“Example: Bill needs to provide a paragraph of text to go in your company’s brochure. He’s been dragging his feet forever and it’s the last thing you’re waiting on but he keeps putting it off.”

“Go to where his paragraph should be and write a sh**ty version of what he’s supposed to do. Don’t invest more than ten seconds. ‘We do widget services. We are good at it. Our services are good for your widget needs.’”

“Send it to Bill saying ‘hey I filled in the last paragraph about widget services; can you check and make sure it meets your criteria, and I’ll send it along to the boss for approval?’ You’ll have Bill’s polished, fully composed text in about ten minutes.” – Much_Difference

Kill Them With Kindness

“Working as a waitress, if I noticed a customer was getting particularly impatient and it looked like they were going to be rude to me when I went over, when I would take the food over and before they got the chance to speak I’d say something like ‘So sorry for the wait, thanks for being so lovely about it!’”

“It seemed to catch them off guard and paint them as the ‘nice guy’ in my eyes, and more often than not their expression would change from pissed off to surprised, then they’d say something like ‘oh no problem it’s okay’ so they could keep being the nice guy and feel good about themselves and I avoid a chewing out.” – WeakAssPotatoes

Hush, Now

“Stop talking.”

“If you want to get more information out of someone, just let them speak. There are times in a conversation that things stop. Most people want to fill this themselves, but don’t. Let the other person do it.”

“This is especially useful if you think the person and their story is full of sh*t.” – I-am-a-meat-popcycle

Sounding Humble

“People are more likely to believe something you tell them if it’s self depreciating. You can make up some sort of lie but if you add something negative about yourself in it it sounds more believable.” – radpandaparty

Start Big

“Door in the face technique.”

“Basically someone who would have said no to a certain request if you asked it initially, is more likely to say yes to that request if you FIRST ask for something so big that you KNOW they’ll say no, and then the thing you actually want seems reasonable by comparison when you ask it afterward.” – harplesbian

Approaching A Big Chore

“Minimizing. If you feel like something is a really big chore or you just can’t get yourself to get up and go do something, minimize it to a small insignificant part.”

“Instead of doing all the garden work, say you’re just going to take the tools out so when you want to work you can. 90% of the time once you’re up and doing the small thing, the big bad chore doesn’t seem so bad now and you end up doing it.” – TroyMcpoyle

A Sale Tactic

“At a garage sale my father wanted $5 for a desk. It sat all day. Eventually he wrote $10, and $20 above the $5 and crossed them out making it look like he’d dropped the price twice. It was gone in under 30 minutes.” – mike_e_mcgee

Here You Go

“You can give a person talking on their phone an object and they will most likely take it because they are focused on the call. I regularly hand people empty plates, most of the time they just keep talking and don’t notice what I’m doing.” – PleaseTakeThisName

When I first moved to New York, I was on my guard a lot after surviving a mugging. After that harrowing incident, I came up with an on-the-spot tactic when I assumed I was being followed late at night on a walk home from work.

The guy wearing a hood was closing the gap behind me. I didn’t want to run because I thought if he was intentionally looking for trouble, he would chase after me.

He got close enough and started yelling, “Hey, dude. Dude, I’m talking to you. Hey man,” etc… I turned around and I told him, “Sorry, I’m allergic to corn.”

I don’t know how those words in that sequence materialized, but I kept walking.

I guess I threw him off, and as he was processing the random–and very false–statement, the distance between us widened and I eventually turned a corner towards a busier part of the neighborhood.

I turned back, and he was no longer behind me. I guess he thought I was not right in the head, and therefore not worth whatever his intentions were in pursuing getting a solo stranger’s attention.

I’ve deployed this “corn allergy” technique on maybe two or three more occasions and it has worked every time.

Regardless of whether or not their intentions were malicious, I sure wasn’t going to stick around to find out if my gut was sending false alarm distress signals.

For the record, I love corn.

Feel free to adopt my psychological trick to ward off any creepers in your future.

People Describe The Most Corrupt Thing They’ve Ever Seen Their Employer Do

Workplaces can be a bit rough around the edges and, especially if you’re new to the workforce, it can sometimes be hard to determine if everything that’s going on is above board.

Sometimes, though, employers do things that are so obviously corrupt it can be hard to believe they get away with it.

Redditor Chillay_ asked:

“What’s the most corrupt thing you’ve witnessed your employer do?”

No Overtime, Even If You Work Over Time

“Worked in a restaurant that didn’t allow employees to work over 40 hours as they did not want to pay any overtime. Instead of you wanted to work extra or if they asked you to work extra they would delete hours off of your time card to keep it under 40. They always asked you when they did that in a kind of hush hushed way so it wasn’t exactly without permission but I think it was bullshit all the same.” -cloudstrife1191

“Permission or not they’re breaking the law. It’s not suddenly legal because you agreed to it” -Hugebluestr*pon

“My class action lawsuit alarm bells are going off right now. If your employer does this, I would recommend filing a complaint with the US Department of Labor and also contacting an attorney who deals with wage/hour violations who can review the case. These are serious violations that should be stopped.” -UKnowDaxoAndDancer

You Just Can’t Cancel

“Had a job out of college selling yellow pages advertising. A big part of the job was just renewing the old ads in the book and we had to call each business to have them renew their ad. But as the yellow pages book became more and more obsolete more customers would cancel their ads. So the company changed the policy of having us call each business and instead put in a policy that any customer who didn’t specifically call to cancel would be auto renewed.”

“Then they would purposefully send out the renewal notices late enough that the customers couldn’t cancel in time to avoid the following years charges. If one of us did actually get a call from a customer looking to cancel and with time to legitimately do so and we actually cancelled them….fired.” -totspur1982

“Literally Fraud. A lawyer could tear this yellowpage company to pieces.” -Redditor

“And I believe a lawyer did for this and a multitude of other reasons. We also go charge backs on our check for cancellations, even if it wasn’t your original account. A few employees filed a class action lawsuit against the company and won. I got a nice check out of that.” -totspur1982

“I worked for a company like that, the “Customer Service Reps” (people who would field the customer calls asking for returns) were graded and given bonuses for how many sales they ‘saved.’ ‘Saved’ meaning how many people who called to return our products they tricked into holding on to it past the full refund window.” -HamsterIV

Check Your Pay Stubs!

“Growing up my father always told me to save my pay stubs and time receipts. I ended up working a job in my early 20 ‘s at an airport moving cars. I get my paycheck one day and i realize that it’s not right. So i do a little digging, and a lot of math, and i figure out that the company was taking hours from me.”

“I ask around and it turns out that they were taking hours from literally everyone at the job site. After doing more math we figured out that over the six months we all worked together, the company had stolen a combined 400 hours from eight people.” -42spuuns

“Wage theft is more money than all other forms of theft.”

“Robbery, fraud, burglary, etc – none of it accounts for more value/dollars than companies stealing money from their employees through under or non payment of wages.” -inthrees

“Would you like to know why?”

“It’s because if you steal from your boss, you go to prison. If your boss steals from you, it usually doesn’t get reported. If it does get reported there’s no jail time, but you have the option to sue. Suing takes years and the judgment doesn’t usually amount to all that was stolen, and your lawyer takes their cut out of the judgment. The ruling class made theft profitable when they do it, and unprofitable when we do it, and that is why they’re the country’s biggest thieves.” -reverendsteveii

“Also suing an employer will black list you from an industry so f*cking fast. ETA: and whether or not it was fully justified doesn’t matter.” -Kai_Emery

Tip Theft Is Rampant

“I was working at a small brewery / bar, and caught the owner dipping into the tip jar at the end of big nights.”

“It was a new place that just opened and was kind of struggling during the off season. We literally had a staff of two bartenders and the owners (husband and wife), so the bar staff would pool and split that days tips.”

“Come to find out that he was taking a cut of the tips because “he worked there too”. When I confronted him, I explained that its actually a violation of the FLSA. In fact it’s even an exact example listed as illegal things to do with tips. He argued that it was his right as owner and fired me, so I reported him to Dept. of Labor.” -Rustee_nail

“My girlfriend used to work at a deli where the owner was taking half the tips. She’s never worked food, so she suspected it was wrong, but didn’t know for sure. She asked me like “hey is this normal?” as I was a chef for a couple years, and I explained how taking tips as the owner is probably the most frowned upon thing you can do in the food service industry.” -Mirraco323

Why Bother With A Warranty?

“I was a mechanic that found out that the company was not letting me fix customers cars that had oil leaks when the customers had paid for a 200k mile warranty. The manager would tell the service writer to say that the warranty company declined it and eventually started making me take a photo to him so that he could tell me that the leak wasn’t bad enough to fix.”

“The customer paid for a warranty and the company wasn’t holding up their end of the deal because it was costing them money. They are one of the most profitable car dealerships in my town and now have 3 dealerships and are expanding.” -Idontgetitbrah

So Many Kinds Of Tip Theft

“When I used to housekeep at a hotel, our head housekeeper would go into all of our checkouts and steal our tips before we could get to them. I remember a few times seeing tips in my rooms and foolishly not thinking to pick them up before they disappeared. A few of my other coworkers witnessed similar instances.”

“At one point, a guest came up to me and said she’d leave a big tip in her room for me bc it was a mess. I found out later that the head housekeeper cleaned the room herself.”

“She walked out like a year later bc our GM demoted her to regular housekeeper bc everyone had complaints about her. She was a very awful person in general.” -Redditor

“When I was a housekeeper you’d get your room list at the beginning of the shift, so if we couldn’t finish that day the girls would go in all their rooms and take the tips, that way if they were off the next day or the room was someone else’s, they’d get nothing. The head housekeeper though worked salary so wasn’t allowed to keep tips even if they were handed to her.” -Tinycatgirl

“When She Felt We Deserved Them”

“A few years ago I was working/living at a McDonald’s in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. The area manager decided to “save” the store so she became very… involved… in its day to day micromanagement. One payday morning she made an announcement that, because everyone kept coming in asking for their checks and bothering her, she would be giving them to us when she felt we deserved them.”

“I called the local Department of Labor, who referred me to the state, who referred me back to local, who then told me they just didn’t care and weren’t looking into it. It eventually resolved itself anyway when she handed checks out the next day.” -twistedlemon732

“See there’s your mistake. You should’ve called McDonalds corporate threatening to call the DoL. Much more effective!” -zvug

“Actually, just call McDonalds corporate. Don’t even need to threaten to call. McDonalds doesn’t screw around when it comes to paying workers anymore. That kind of stuff has led to several million in lawsuit settlements in just the past ten years.” -betterthanamaster

We’ve Known Asbestos Was Dangerous For Decades

“I work underground in the mines. One place started having, what the workers found out later, was asbestos type rock in the ore. The company took samples of it and then said it’s kind of like asbestos, but it’s not old enough to harm you. Later after a bit of more concern from the workers, it was found out that the sample they took came back as inconclusive due to something else. They lied and allowed their workforce exposure to asbestos. I quit after that and found work elsewhere.” -Chillay_90

That’s Not How Overtime Works

“One time when I was a chef in college, I worked 14 days straight, with half of those days being 12 hour days. This all fell in one pay period too. It was rough but it was summer and I was gushing over the amount over overtime I was about to get. It came out to like over 70 hours overtime. I was supposed get almost an additional $1000 dollars on my paycheck. I calculated the math with tax and everything and couldn’t wait to pick up my paycheck the next week for that pay period.”

“I pick it up, and the paycheck is quite larger than I’m used to given I normally only worked 25 hours a week, but there is ZERO overtime on it. It was short almost a a thousand bucks. I got to the HR office the next day (it was located at a different casino) and ask, and they go ‘yeah so in Nevada, you only qualify for overtime if you average 40 hours a week normally.’”

“That sounded like bullshit to me, but I asked my mom who used to run finances for our family business, and she says that IS in fact 100% bullshit. She pulled up the statute online and it clearly said if you exceed 8 hours in a day, you get overtime. It said nothing about a weekly average.”

“So printed that bitch out and drove right back down to the HR office, and showed it to them. The lady at the desk who just told me that lie calls out the head of HR. She would frequent the different locations to check in with people and was always nice, but you could always tell she was shady as fuck. They both seem to get very nervous and in a stuttering voice ‘okay we will reevaluate’”

“I never heard anything or got any apology, but when the next paycheck came, the exact amount of overtime I calculated was put on that paycheck down to the penny.”

“I tell some of the other guys in the kitchen what happened, and apparently the family who owned the casino our restaurant was located in was known for pulling shit like this. Making ‘accounting errors’ knowing a lot of people who do direct deposit don’t even look at their paystubs. Funny how these accounting ‘errors’ always ended up in saving the company money, and never gave the employee extra cash lol. A server no more than a few months later had the same exact shit happen to him. Rat b*stards.” -Mirraco323

Gaming The System

“At the first company I worked at the general manager had all his personal expenses paid by the company. His wife also had a company credit card and was paid a salary but she didn’t work. The company paid for things like their groceries, house mortgage, car payments and family vacations. The kicker is he wasn’t the owner of the company.”

“He had a creative accountant that hid these expenses but the owners became suspicious and they hired an auditor. It took them about 4 years to figure it out. He was fired and his family fled the country so I am not sure what happened to him.” -optoph

If your employer is doing something that seems shady, there’s a way for you to report it if it’s safe for you to do so.

You’re probably not the only one who is affected, and people doing shady things don’t usually stop unless they’re made to.

People Divulge The Most Morbid Facts They Know

Life ends.  All life does.

And entire new biological processes take place in death that we would never know about—or want to.

Except, that is, if you DO know about it.  If you’ve been gifted the awareness of what exactly happens to a human body while it decomposes, you would be the bearer of a morbid fact..

And as a matter of fact, morbid facts are a lot bigger of a demographic of facts than you would really think they are.

So when a Redditor asked:

“What morbid fact do you know?”

Here were some of those answers.

The End Of Life Cancels All

“If bodies are kept in coffins that are sealed tight enough, such as the in wall type of memorial, sometimes enough gases can build up that the body basically explodes and can spill out onto the ground.”-Mangobunny98

“If you electrocute someone while they are submerged in water, it won’t leave burn marks.”-R3dShield

“I think this is pretty well known on Reddit, but it’s a common misconception that your hair and fingernails continue to grow after you die.”

“What actually happens is your skin dries out, and recedes, which gives the appearance of nails/hair being longer than they were before death”-Antitheistic10

“In Formula 1, safety belts were not mandatory until 1972.”

“Before then, drivers believed it better to be ejected in a crash, and either die instantly from a broken neck or suffer many broken bones.”

“The alternative, they thought, was to be trapped and essentially cremated alive should the gas tanks ignite.”-[username deleted]

“A professor at my lecture today said that deer will lay on decaying corpses because they produce heat and the deer like that. Basically deer treat corpses as their personal sauna.”-4ensicmess

Thud

“An adult human body impacting on concrete does not sound organic or ‘wet’ at all, it reminded me more of a car accident than anything else.”

“Source: Last week someone committed suicide by jumping off of the building I live in, I heard the impact and saw the body when I walked out onto my terrace to see what was going on.”

“Second morbid fact, from the same source: The human brain looks far more white & pink when it gets ejected from the skull, I always thought a ‘live’ brain would be red from the blood in it but I was wrong.”-Octosphere

“In the middle ages, you could be boiled in a pot of lead for certain crimes. What crimes they were I have forgotten, but it certainly was a thing.”-necrophiliaisillegal

“Before you die, your last words could be, ‘I don’t feel so good.’”

“I was a paramedic for 15 years and heard dozens of people’s final words. The phrase I heard most often, possibly from half to three quarters of them, were some form of ‘I don’t feel so good.’”

“I’ve also heard, ‘Wait, somethings wrong,’ ‘Somethings happening,’ ‘I don’t feel right.’ ‘Wait, somethings wrong,’ ‘It’s happening,’ and ‘Oh no, Oh no.’”

“People feel the blood leaving their brain I think. Must be like a rush.”-Forbidden_Donut503

What A Way To Die

“The whole “‘f your erection last more than 4 hours, receive immediate medical’ or whatever is the reason why the Brazilian wandering spider (located in the Amazon) is so dangerous.”

“Its bite is supposed to make you have an erection for a long time and it’s pretty hard to find medical services when you’re in the Amazon.”

“What happens with boners is that blood fills up the penis and mostly stays there until the boner is gone. If it stays longer than 4 hours, the blood is deprived of oxygen.”

“It can turn into a jelly like substance with lots of clotting, so leaving it untreated could clog you up as the blood flows back. By the time you get to a doctor, they have two options.”

“One is get a 60ml syringe w/ a needle and suck out the blood (that’s the consistency of toothpaste), while also flushing it with salt water (also w/ syringe and needle) when those clots stop the needle.”

“The second option, which is usually saved for last, is to vertically insert a small blade inside the meatus/slit in the head and sharply twist it by 90°. Then just let it drain.”-marcy1010

“After the Pulse night club shooting, when the cops were investigating, you’d think it was pretty quiet in there.”

“It was actually a cacophony of ringing cell phones. So many friends and loved ones calling people they knew were there, hoping they’ll answer the phone and say they’re ok…”-Veritas3333

“There’s something called ‘Anaesthesia Awareness’ where of certain people go into surgery and they don’t give you enough anaesthesia, it will look like you’re asleep (eyes closed, not talking or moving), but the patient can still hear and feel everything that’s happening.”

“But here’s the scary part. You’re unable to move, speak or open your eyes. Unless they have a monitor to show your brain activity, you’re stuck with having to endure the pain.”-EveryNameIsStolen

Was It Worth It?

“On Mt. Everest, you have the rainbow valley, the last zone to climb to reach the peak.”

“Which sounds cute but it’s really the colorful jackets of dead climbers who are frozen in time against the white harsh snow.”

“Also, when close to the peak, the oxygen levels are so low that the body is starting to die. You only have a few minutes to reach the top.”-tarantulaboi

“Also, not sure of how much of a standard practice it is, but if you donate body to a school they will possibly ship your body elsewhere.”

“I know I saw a comment about how you need to be nearby the place you donate to because they dont want to ship you to them, but they may ship you elsewhere.”

“I know at least at the local college by me, they get all their cadavers from Texas (in Illinois, and we ship ours to them) so that theres less of a chance that a student may know the person.”

“And they also cover the faces unless doing any sort of head/face things (again at least the one by me does)”-future_nurse19

“Mausoleums have not only a ventilation system to prevent smells, but the crypt slots are angled towards the back and have a drainage system for uh…liquids coming out of the caskets.”

“Airtight caskets are a problem in mausoleums because the body liquifies inside and can build up so much gas that the lid can almost explode off of the caskets, sometimes even breaking the stone slab at the entrance of the slot.”

“Can you imagine walking through a mausoleum and suddenly the slab to a slot just shatters from the inside?”-crescentcactus

Despite being bone-chilling and morbid in life, these facts could actually be useful for you some day—but hopefully for most of us, that day is very, very far away.

Hiring Managers Divulge The Biggest Resume Mistakes That Cost Someone The Job

Making career moves can be anxiety-inducing.

You’re never really sure what to put on your resume, what to say about why you left your last position or how to really answer the inevitable question about why you want to work there without pointing out the obvious desire for a paycheck.

This would be so much easier if you could just get a peek inside the minds of hiring managers, wouldn’t it?

Wouldn’t you love to know the things they’re actually hoping to see? And the things that they hate so much it makes them automatically disqualify a candidate?

Enter reddit user “ThanosIsMyRealFather” who asked:

“Hiring managers of Reddit, what was something on someone’s CV/resume that made you either immediately want to hire them or immediately reject them?” 

So go ahead and make a new folder in your phone for the screenshots you take. We’re going to start with learning what NOT to do.

Too Much Information

“His resume was 14 pages.”

“Granted, it was for a finance position with 5-10 years experience, but there’s only so many different ways you can describe finance responsibilities – and summarizing is a valuable skill.”

“Dude never pitched for the interview.”

– zenaide1

“We had a resume for an internship come through that was double-digit pages long and included his karate accomplishments in 6th grade.”

– mcarneybsa

“24 pages; this mans IT management profile.”

“5 pages was his CV.”

“The other 19 pages was meticulously explaining every project he had done in his 40 years of experience. All the way back to before I was born.”

– magaruis

“I got a 26-page resume once. A lot of it was about his ex-wife.”

“We, uh, didn’t call him.”

– bokodasu

It’s Happened To The Best Of Us

“Their resume included the sentence: ‘I have incredible attention to dealtail.’ ”

– 4sOfCors

“I said that once, in the email body.”

“I then proceeded to forget to attach the CV. So awkward.” 

– _ae_

“I had something similar on a resume.”

“I wrote ‘I have great attention to detail’ and then right after I sent it I noticed my name was misspelled.” 

– squanchiest-

“Right out of law school I put a ton of emphasis on my attention to detail on my resume.”

“After about six months, one kind soul called me to let me know that I had misspelled ‘lawyer’ in my opening sentence. He was not interested in an interview.”

– AmnesiaCane

Assassination Attempts

“I had a funny typo on a resume I once reviewed. It read:

” ‘Assassinated the lead florist on site’ “

“Obviously it was meant to say assisted.”

– snailtopus

“Screw up a bride’s centerpieces and pay with your life. Florists know this when they sign on for the job.”

– Jackandahalfass

“It was a Sith florist. The only way to progress through the ranks is to kill the master.”

– Bloodcloud079

But Do You Even Lift?

“A guy put his bench, squat and deadlift numbers in his personal skills section for a bar job.”

“It spawned a long tradition of asking bartenders what they could bench when they applied for a job.”

– MoveToStrike

“This one hits close to home haha.”

“When I was in high school I won a few bench press/strength competitions and had that listed in my interests section at the bottom.”

“When I got my first job out of college my boss used to occasionally make jokes about it, so I decided it was time to retire that.”

– Fair-University

“We had a candidate who was clearly into weightlifting ask if our work uniforms came in stretchy materials, ‘you know, for my physique’ as he pointed to his biceps.”

– ballinthrowaway

A Very “Niche” Portfolio

“I was working for a small digital agency and we were looking for designers and illustrators – general multi skilled creative types.”

“The boss wanders in with a sly grin and a big folder. It was from a guy who wanted the job.”

“I came over and he started flicking through it. Page after page of sexy cartoons.”

“Lots of them furry type stuff. Boob, butts, lips, figures intertwined, lots of detailed musculature.”

“So I was like ‘Well it’s quite good for what it is… but what else is there? Is there another section?’ “

“Nope. Nothing else.”

“Just a folder completely full of semi-pornographic cartoon people and sexy anthropomorphised animals.”

“He was not hired. It wasn’t because of the cartoons, it was because it was all just those cartoons.”

“Would have liked to see some commercial applications of illustration, or something showing he could work to requirements, or a variety of work showing different styles. Also this was 15ish years ago.”

– torn-ainbow

It’s not all doom and gloom, though.

We like to end on a positive note around here, so let’s take a minute to talk about the things that catch a hiring manager’s attention in the right way.

That Wording Is Everything

“Had a kid applying to work at a Sam Goody as a stock boy write that he was a petroleum transference engineer for Exxon at his last job.”

“His job was pumping gas, I hired him on the spot.”

– Canadian_Neckbears

Playing Games

“I work at an Escape Room.”

“We once received a resume that consisted in a webpage address protected by a password, and three well-crafted riddles that we had to solve to get the password.”

“We spent an hour doing it with two colleagues, and it included decrypting a code from a specific frame of Zodiac by David Fincher. It was simply amazing.”

“Sadly, we weren’t hiring at the time, and she had found another job we we started hiring again.”

“We would have loved to hire her, but we were fully staffed and not in a position to just create a job for her. Believe me we wanted to.” 

– Maximelene

World Of Warcraft

“Once I received a resume that had ‘Raid leader for WOW in top guild of a server.’ “

“The other hiring managers laughed their asses off and said this guy was a joke. They all dismissed him.”

“Me, I asked the guy to come in for an interview. He did pretty well and I hired him.”

“The reason I brought the guy in for interview was because I’m an avid Warcraft player and I know the sh*t raid leaders go through.”

“Trying to get a large number of people together, coordinate resources and rewards, getting guides together and telling people to up their healing/dps and not stand in fire. All done virtually via vent and forum postings (meaning you never met these guild members in person.)”

“You need some great leadership skills and project management. Also at that time I was dealing with a lot of people offsite so I thought this guy would be a good fit.”

“9 years later (I’ve since left the company), the WOW guy I hired turned out to be great!”

“He’s particularly shined in recent years when corporations decide that working from home doing virtual meetings is the way to go to cut cost. His skill set as a raid leader translated very well with remote project management!”

“Oh, and is now the manager of those same hiring managers that laughed at his resume.”

“This was at a Fortune 500 financial company.”

– evonebo

So let’s go over what we’ve learned today, shall we?

  • Keep things brief.
  • It’s important to spell-check.
  • How much you can bench press probably isn’t relevant enough to go on your resume.

Oh, and make sure there’s more than just furry semi-porn in your portfolio.

People Share Their Best ‘How The Hell Do You Know That?’ Factoids

We all love a good fun fact.

They expand our mind just a tiny, gentle amount. Sometimes they bring a smirk to our face. And other times they’re reliable as hell during an awkward ice breaker.

So it’s not a bad idea to keep a few in your back pocket for when, say, you’ve just started a job or a first date is going horribly.

Thankfully, Redditor pygmypuffonacid was looking out for us when they asked:

“What are some ‘why the fu** do you know that information’ facts?”

Of course, you can’t go wrong with animal facts, like this one about squid. 

“Squid can literally give themselves brain damage by eating something too big. Their brain is a donut shape and the esophagus runs through it.” — orbitofnormal

Or this one, about a crustacean. 

“Crayfish (or lobster?) have a sort of open channel like an ear that helps them balance. A few grains of sand sit in it and because gravity is pulling the grains down they always know which way is up.”

“However if you put magnetic metal shavings into the holes and hold a large strong magnet above them they’ll start to swim upside down.” — XamiaArc

And do not forget about whales.

“only 10% of a whales sperm enters the mate, 90% goes into the ocean. meaning that drinking ocean water is drinking a percentage of whale cum” — SugonmaBalls

But of course, human bodies are just as bizarre. 

“Leave a human body soaking in a solution of lye and water for several months and it will dissolve into liquid and soft bone dust which can be washed down a drain, leaving no evidence behind.”

“If you need to speed the process up you can heat the water up to just short of boiling and dissolve the body in ~6 hours.” — hananobira

Same goes for human desires.

“Some foot fetishes occur because the part of the brain that controls feeling in the feet is positioned right next to the part that produces libido, and sometimes the wires within the brain become crossed.” — S_is_for_Smeagol

And how about a fact involving humans and animals both. 

“When someone dies in an area where insects can get to them, their face often decomposes first. There’s lots of nice holes on and next to the face that are great for egg-laying.”

“Then, the bugs eat your face and buzz off.” — tapiocatsar

History tidbits are always fascinating too.

Take this beer saga, for example.  

“That Rolling Rock beer almost went bankrupt in the 1990’s. As a last ditch effort they hired a new marketing exec to turn their fortunes around.”

“In their big meeting with all the board members waiting in anticipation for his big reveal he told them to just raise the price. They were ready to fire him on the spot, because they couldn’t sell any at the cheapo price.”

“Then he told them why – their price point was less than Budweiser at the time and that was the standard by which people judged the quality of a beer. He reasoned that if they increased the price to the next tier above Bud and did nothing else, people would believe it was a better beer, even though it was the same as it ever was.”

“It turned into their ad campaign and they thumbed their noses at all the yuppies who drank it by the case in college in the 70’s and 80’s who started buying it again because it was now a ‘better’ beer. It was wildly successful and saved the company.” — Finklemaier

Not all men from history are so admirable, though.

“Andrei Chikatilo, a serial killer from the USSR who was convicted of sexually assaulting and murdering at least 52 women and children, was arrested and questioned by police six years before his official apprehension date.”

“This was because police took a blood sample from him that was different than the blood group of the semen found at the scene of one of his crimes. However, obviously, Chikatilo was guilty.”

“He had a rare genetic condition in which the blood groups of his blood & saliva and his semen are different, which is how he was questioned and released.” — sylveonstarr

This guy was awful too. 

“John Kellogg (inventer of corn flakes) was a huge advocate for circumcision because he believed it would prevent us from masturbating.”

“Also he tried normalizing putting acid on the clitoris for the same reason” — TrystenConn

This guy, on the other hand, was just so unlucky. 

“Valery Khodemchuk was an engineer working the Night Shift at Chernobyl’s Reactor 4 the night it exploded.”

“He was the very first person killed in the accident, as he likely died instantly when his body was vaporized by the blast. His remains were never recovered, and the ruins now serve as his tomb.” — TheMadmanAndre

And this fella was off his rocker. 

“Opicinus de Canistris, an Italian priest who lived during the 13th and 14th centuries, believed that parts of his body metaphysically represented regions of the world, and that if he felt pain in one area, then it could mean that disaster was about to fall on that region.”

“He also drew a metaphysical “world map” that was basically pictures of random people and animals stuck together instead of an actual map of the world.”

“He actually managed to get the Pope at the time on his side. It speaks volumes about the state of science in the Middle Ages that this blatant psychotic could promote his beliefs under the guise of serving Christianity.” — ugagradlady

This fact concerned a fictional guy. 

“In Silence of the Lambs, when Hannibal Lector gives the infamous quote ‘I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti,’ it’s a reference that he’s off his meds.”

“Some antipsychotics have negative interactions with beans, red wine, and organ meats. It’s kind of an odd joke though, because Hannibal Lector is a diagnosed psychopath in the movie, and psychopathy isn’t treated with antipsychotics.” — [deleted]

Here’s hoping these facts aren’t too unnerving to dust off at a party or a team-builder.

People Debunk The Most Commonly Believed ‘Facts’ That Are Actually Untrue

The line between truth and fiction can be a difficult one to find sometimes.

We are bombarded by dueling viewpoints a thousand times a day and it can be challenging to pick out what information is real, and what is just believed because it’s been repeated so many times.

In an effort to root out some of the falsehoods we believe, Redditor and Original Poster (OP) Mutating_Mammal asked:

“What are some common ‘facts’ that people believe to be true even if the existing evidence states the contrary?”

This theory doesn’t hold any water.

“Camels don’t use their humps to store water.”

“They use them to store fat reserves., Because storing fat reserves around the body like humans would keep them too warm, so they have it all in one spot.”

“Edit: since the day metabolizes as water and CO2, it is in a way a water source.”~ Cielbird

Speaking of water…

“Oooh, my time to shine.”

“I used to test pool water/hot tub water as a part time job.”

“This is what I learnt from reading the material that the company gave me, but my advice always seemed to work so I think it’s pretty solid.”

“There are two types of chlorine: Free Chlorine and Combined Chlorine.”

“Free chlorine is generally odorless in the pool.”

“It’s the chlorine that can attack bacteria.”

“Combined chlorine is chlorine that has already attacked some type of bacteria.”

“All it just stays in the pool and doesn’t do much.”

“That combined chlorine can make your pool smell like chlorine, or even make your pool cloudy.”

“If a pool smells like chlorine, it has too much combined chlorine.”

“To get rid of it, you need some type of oxidizer.”

“Like a calcium hypochlorite or something along those lines.”

“So in other words. Even if a pool smells horribly like chlorine, it can still be very unsanitary and unsafe to swim in.”~ Fangore

It doesn’t add up.

“That Einstein was a bad student, and was bad at math.”

“It’s just not true.”

“He got average-high marks, and was really just disdainful of the structure of school.”

“And he was good at math. Physics is like 90% math.”

“I get why people share it, it’s to make struggling students feel better about themselves, but can’t we tell them about something else instead of lying?” ~ nonfiction42

Honesty isn’t an official policy.

“People still think an undercover cop has to tell you they’re a cop.”

“How does that even make sense?”

“Months of preparations ruined on the first day because someone happened to ask the magic question.”

“Cops are allowed to lie to you and they will pretend to be your friend to get what they need from you.”

“Side note: Even if you’re innocent of a crime, the first words from your mouth should be ‘I want a lawyer.’ and you don’t provide any information until you have one.”

” ‘Anything you say CAN and WILL be used AGAINST you in the court of law.’ ” ~ sc0n3z

Never wait.

“It is rarely necessary to wait 24 hours before filing a missing person report” ~ emil199

There are, apparently, lots of water-related myths.

“A person drowning is not likely to be flailing wildly and yelling like in the movies.”

“Drowning can often happen with mostly silence, especially with kids.”

“Read up on the signs, it might save a life.”

“I was drowning and lost consciousness when I was 5, I was told I barely made a sound.”

“I went under, sucked in lungs full of water when I tried to cry out in surprise and blacked out.”

“If it wasn’t for my dad’s instincts and quick action I’d be dead.” ~ Guitar3544

Pack mentality.

“Alpha theory in dog training.”

“The researcher that originally described the dominance theory was watching captive wolves at a zoo- a pack that was artificially created from unrelated specimens.”

“The hierarchy in this curated collection was determined through fights and struggles for dominance and this dynamic was then applied to domestic dogs and how they view themselves in relation to humans.”

“This drove the ‘dominate your dog’ style of training popular with Cesar Millan and his acolytes.”

“When the scientific community was able to observe a wild wolf pack, however, they discovered that wild packs are family units and operate much the same way with a parental breeding pair at the top and their younger offspring forming the pack, sometimes several litters at a time.”

“As the pups grow older, they break off and form their own packs.

“The researcher that dismantled the theory, David Mech, described it thusly:”

” ‘Attempting to apply information about the behavior of assemblages of unrelated captive wolves to the familial structure of natural packs has resulted in considerable confusion.’ “

” ‘Such an approach is analogous to trying to draw inferences about human family dynamics by studying humans in refugee camps.’ “ ~ Still_Mighty

Speaking of animals…

Chicken is cooked when it is no longer pink and the juices run clear.”

“In fact, it’s cooked when it hits 75C (165F) and that’s it. What it looks like depends on the cut.”

“Chicken breast often has significant pink in it when it hits the temperature, which is why most people complain about dry boring chicken, because they overcook it.”

“On the flipside, wings can look cooked when they aren’t, which is why they’re a major source of food poisoning.”

“The most important thing I learned working in a commercial kitchen.” ~ aegeaorgnqergerh

A hard day’s work.

“People have a misconception that we work less today than we have throughout history.”

“In actuality, hunter-gatherers worked an average of 3 to 5 hours a day.”

“Ancient civilization farmers only worked during seasonal and agricultural periods, averaging about 10 hours a day for only 120 days a year.”

“Roman documents show that most artisans only worked about 6 hours a day from the hours of 6am to mid-day. They were given multiple holidays from frequent festival days.”

“Medieval farmers and peasants worked about 8 hour days in the summer, but worked less in winter months due to less daylight, averaging only about 5.5 hours of work each day.”

“It wasn’t until the mid-18th century that workdays became longer, with the invention of replaceable part.”

“Workers in London in 1750 worked 11 hours per day, five days a week.”

“Sunday was the day of rest, but those in gainful employment also skipped work on Monday, which was dubbed ‘Saint Monday’ at the time.”

“The industrial revolution was the kickstart of long workdays and few holidays or leave.”

“Factory workers in mid-19th century England worked 16 hours a day, 311 days per year”

“Comparatively, the average office worker today in the USA works 7.8 hours a day, 311 days per year.”

“TLDR; we work more today than almost every other generation leading up to the 18th century.” ~ SaltySFSailor

We tend to accept the things that we hear over and over again, but repetition does not mean accuracy.

Take a harder look at the long-held “facts” that you believe, and you might just find that they don’t hold up as well as you thought.