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Learn About How One Person’s Greedy Nature Cost Them Over $1.5M

For some folks out there, the world and morality are black and white. Things are wrong or not, moral or not, and there’s no wiggle room or space to negotiate in the middle. For other people, the world is more gray, and whether or not something is wrong can depend on who you’re dealing with, and maybe whether or not their actions mean they “deserve” what’s coming to them.

For this man, who worked at a very successful tech company back during the boom, his bosses attitude and ineptitude seemed like reason enough to rip him off for more than $1M.

He started with the company right out of college and worked his way up to have some face time with the owners, but was always careful to stay in his own lane – which had nothing to do with buying or selling stocks.

BACKGROUND:

A year out of school in the early-1990’s, I procured a job as a business analyst for a large, family-owned tech company. This business was located in the booming heart of technology at the time and was very profitable. As tech took off over the next decade, the company thrived and remained family-owned. What was a rich family and company became exceedingly wealthy with a valuation/net worth in the high 9/low 10-figures.

The family that owned it was quite neurotic, very moody and had a reputation as very ruthless (greedy) when it came to financing, deal-making, employees, etc. I truly believe this is what held them back from ultimately becoming a household name as a company.

As I progressed in the company, I gained more and more face time with the owners. I worked on some projects directly with ownership that really paid off and gained me even greater access to their inner circle. Now, like a lot of people at the time and particularly those who worked in tech, I was heavily invested in tech stocks. I discussed some of my investments and gains with ownership as casual conversation, though investing had nothing to do with my role in the company.

But when one of the owners asked him if he would invest some of his (and the company’s) money for him, the guy jumped at the chance to pad his resume.

He was smart enough to ask for the details of the arrangement in writing, and carried on.

That is until one day in late-1999 when the owner came to me and asked me if I would invest some of his personal money. He wanted me to take big risks to see if they would pay off using 1 million dollars of his personal money. I was a bit hesitant, but still being in my late-20’s and wanting to prove myself, I said I would.

I asked for a written agreement where they acknowledged this wasn’t my role in the company, was a personal matter between the owner and me, and to document my compensation for this side arrangement (20% of all profits).

He went to work, dealing mostly in short sales, where he was comfortable at the time, and after a short while, was showing profits in both his and his boss’s accounts.

Around this same time and by working in the industry I started to notice the weakness associated with a lot of tech companies. They just weren’t living up to their hype and stock price and some seemed like they were starting to run out of money. I had no inside information, just a strong sense of which companies were struggling based on my work in the business.

Based on this sense I started using both my money and the owners money to short tech companies just after the New Year in 2000. For anyone unfamiliar with shorting, it means if the value of a stock decreases, the value of the investment increases. I had a few long positions, but my overall position was very short.

Since the owner wanted big risk and big reward, I used his money and obtained leverage or margin from the financial institution where I maintained both his and my trading accounts. The accounts were separate, but both under my name (again, I documented this and gained consent).

Well, both my account and his suffered some moderate losses in the first two months of 2000 before the bubble began to burst and both accounts, but his in particular, began to skyrocket.

When the company started to struggle financially, the boss who had invested came to OP to ask him how the accounts were doing. He told him they had netted around $1.35M so far but that there were also some open accounts that were worth around $1M.

OWNERSHIP’S PETTINESS

In June, the company began to suffer a downturn. We were still profitable, but since we provided tech services and products we were not immune to weakness in the broader market.

I had not informed the owner of my short strategy. He came to me one day and asked how his money was doing, saying he suspected it was way down like the general market. To his surprise, I informed him that while we still had some money tied up in options (puts) and shorts, but based on the positions I had closed, there was $1.35 million in cash sitting in the account that belonged to him.

Again, I still had a bunch of open positions which, if memory serves, were worth about a million on that date, but the positions I had closed had yielded $1.35 million in cash just sitting in his account (which was in my name).

The owner asked for the $1.35M out, and got angry at OP for asking for the 20% they’d agreed on – around $70K.

The owner, either through ignorance or lack of attention, said “Great, $1.35 million. Fantastic work in this down market. Will you please wire it to me?” I responded that I would, but would be taking my 20% of the $350,000 profit, or $70,000, before wiring him the $280,000. I also reminded him I still had open positions that had yet to pay off or close, but I didn’t state the amount. He, once again, appeared not to understand or comprehend the open positions statement, but instead totally focused on and became incensed about my rightful claim for $70,000. He went on and on about how times were tough, I should be grateful for a job, particularly at my young age, and the entire $350,000 was necessary for him and the company. I knew this wasn’t true based on my position within the company. Worse, this was my first time personally experiencing the greedy and corrupt nature that served as the basis for ownership’s reputation.

Which is when OP decided to go ahead and take his revenge for those wrongs.

Revenge that netted him around $1.8M.

THE REVENGE

Now comes the revenge. Since, after two separate conversations, the owner didn’t seem to grasp that the open positions would yield at least some income, and thus additional profit, I decided not to mention it again. I sent him back the entire $1.35 million and continued to manage the open positions to the best of my ability. And here’s the kicker, the owner never brought it up again. He seemed to think the $1.35 million payment was the entire value of the account and never understood or remembered that open positions still existed. He never asked for records, tax documents or any time of audit or financials. Given the fact that he was dishonest with me, I didn’t feel the need to disabuse him of that notion.

Ultimately, after a bit more net gain, I covered all of the shorts and exercised all of the options (puts in this case) for an additional $1.8 million. I worked for the company for 3 more years and owner never asked about it during my tenure, after I gave notice, or since. I know it’s a bit crass and even shady af, but given his dishonesty with me over the $70,000, I felt justified in keeping the additional $1.8 million. I paid taxes on the gain (long term cap gain), and went on my way with a fantastic nest egg. Nobody has asked about it since and I have only told the story to a few people (and even then only after the statute of limitations passed).

He waited and saved the money during the rest of his time with the company, and then for a few years after he left, but no one ever asked for it.

The owners are all deceased now and he feels pretty smug at having swindled some arrogant and clueless people out of a whollllle lot of money.

The final ironic cherry on top of this sundae is that during my remaining 3 years I gained greater influence with ownership in position within the company because they considered me loyal for giving the $1.35 million back and not making too much of a stink about the $70,000 profit.

Little did they know I got the better of them. The company eventually folded due to family disputes, but my understanding is that ownership walked away in very good financial position.

They likely could have been a much better and greater company had they not practiced the same dishonesty that they showed me with their vendors, clients and employees.

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed.

I don’t know how I feel about this, y’all. I’m not stodgy or anything but this feels a loooootttt like stealing.

Drop your opinions in the comments!

The post Learn About How One Person’s Greedy Nature Cost Them Over $1.5M appeared first on UberFacts.

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Check Out 27 of the Most Fascinating Shower Thoughts

If you’re looking for a little bit of inspiration, look no further than r/Showerthoughts, a subreddit with a sort of perpetual prompt: give us something interesting to think about.

“‘Showerthought’ is a loose term that applies to the types of thoughts you might have while carrying out a routine task,” say the moderators, “like showering, driving, or daydreaming. At their best, showerthoughts are universally relatable and find the amusing/interesting within the mundane.”

Here are a few of the best from our reliable Redditors. Let’s become enlightened.

1. Priorities, people!

The drink list on a restaurant menu is never at the very front, despite it being the very first question asked at every restaurant.

– NopeyNope_the_5th

2. Self-training

Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time someone rang a bell.

– pyro925

3. Three, two, one…

The syllables in ‘on your mark, get set, go’ are a countdown.

– ManGood2002

4. Whoever collected the most wins!

Our whole life, we’re just gathering guests that’ll attend our funeral.

– DressedInMistakes

5. And there always will be

There is a number so big, no one has ever wrote it, said it, or even thought of it.

– matuman17

6. They’ll send him to a farm up-galaxy

If Wookies have a 400-year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca’s third dog.

– BookerDeWittsCarbine –

7. Antique roadshow syndrome

Lots of random people own rare, valuable items without knowing it.

– iwastoldnottogohere

8. We all grow up

When you’re growing up as a kid, you don’t realize you’re also watching your mom and dad grow up.

– zjb55446

9. It’s all relative

We laugh when dogs get excited about hearing a bark on TV

But if TV was a nonstop stream of unintelligible noises and then someone suddenly spoke to you in your language, you’d be pretty f**king startled, too.

– Biles

10. Don’t think about it too hard

Gummy worms have more bones in them than actual worms.

– edgememeston

11. It’s electric!

Lamps in video games use real electricity.

– 1Ferrox

12. Style over substance

James Bond is always doing amazing feats in tailored suits.

It’s amazing to think of what he’d be able to accomplish in athletic wear designed for the specific extreme activity he was involved in.

– sirheyzeus55

13. Literary devices

If someone tells you a plot point for a story in advance, it’s a spoiler.

But if the author does it, it’s foreshadowing.

– givemethebat1

14. Had to think about this one for a second…

Almost everyone will go around the sun more times in their life than around the Earth.

– Haminthepaint

15. The problem of evil

Santa Claus knows exactly where all the evil people are in the world but doesn’t do anything about it.

– Katiari

16. The first shall be last

Being the last person to comment on something is actually a lot harder than being first.

– Raphael_Stormer

17. Locking mechanisms

Your password has probably locked you out more times than it has locked other people out.

– SVXNx

18. Wha?

You can remember that you forgot something but you can’t remember what you forgot.

– Just_Strawberry7295

19. Can’t fast-travel

Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can’t find any enemies.

– Canadaba11

20. The real formula

You aren’t paid according to how hard you work; you are paid according to how hard your employer thinks you are to replace.

– Bismuth81

21. Honoring the fallen

Stan Lee’s funeral was a reverse cameo.

All the superheroes appeared in the background of his story.

– Adamb1403

22. To be in your shoes…

The tallest person in the world has physically experienced being the exact height of every other person in the world at some point.

– SilphRoadPokemon

23. You’re perpetuating the problem

People who respond with, ‘That’s not how the world works!’ when told to be nicer by others are the exact reason that that’s not how the world works.

– ObsoleteOcto

24. And man is it boring

Watching a graduation ceremony is essentially just sitting through a movie that’s entirely end credits.

– definitelyusername

25. You’ll need a cipher

Your thoughts might actually be in such a personalized, coded shorthand that even if someone COULD read your mind, they wouldn’t understand what the hell you’re thinking.

– jfi224

26. That’s the idea

Light bulbs were such a good idea that they became the symbol for a good idea.

– Frahmy12

27. Make lemonade

A lemon is not naturally occurring.

It’s a hybrid developed by crossbreeding a bitter orange and a citron.

So life never gave us lemons; we invented them ourselves.

– TripleRangeMerge

Deep thoughts, indeed.

What wisdom do you have to contribute?

Drop it on us in the comments.

The post Check Out 27 of the Most Fascinating Shower Thoughts appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Check Out 27 of the Most Fascinating Shower Thoughts

If you’re looking for a little bit of inspiration, look no further than r/Showerthoughts, a subreddit with a sort of perpetual prompt: give us something interesting to think about.

“‘Showerthought’ is a loose term that applies to the types of thoughts you might have while carrying out a routine task,” say the moderators, “like showering, driving, or daydreaming. At their best, showerthoughts are universally relatable and find the amusing/interesting within the mundane.”

Here are a few of the best from our reliable Redditors. Let’s become enlightened.

1. Priorities, people!

The drink list on a restaurant menu is never at the very front, despite it being the very first question asked at every restaurant.

– NopeyNope_the_5th

2. Self-training

Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time someone rang a bell.

– pyro925

3. Three, two, one…

The syllables in ‘on your mark, get set, go’ are a countdown.

– ManGood2002

4. Whoever collected the most wins!

Our whole life, we’re just gathering guests that’ll attend our funeral.

– DressedInMistakes

5. And there always will be

There is a number so big, no one has ever wrote it, said it, or even thought of it.

– matuman17

6. They’ll send him to a farm up-galaxy

If Wookies have a 400-year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca’s third dog.

– BookerDeWittsCarbine –

7. Antique roadshow syndrome

Lots of random people own rare, valuable items without knowing it.

– iwastoldnottogohere

8. We all grow up

When you’re growing up as a kid, you don’t realize you’re also watching your mom and dad grow up.

– zjb55446

9. It’s all relative

We laugh when dogs get excited about hearing a bark on TV

But if TV was a nonstop stream of unintelligible noises and then someone suddenly spoke to you in your language, you’d be pretty f**king startled, too.

– Biles

10. Don’t think about it too hard

Gummy worms have more bones in them than actual worms.

– edgememeston

11. It’s electric!

Lamps in video games use real electricity.

– 1Ferrox

12. Style over substance

James Bond is always doing amazing feats in tailored suits.

It’s amazing to think of what he’d be able to accomplish in athletic wear designed for the specific extreme activity he was involved in.

– sirheyzeus55

13. Literary devices

If someone tells you a plot point for a story in advance, it’s a spoiler.

But if the author does it, it’s foreshadowing.

– givemethebat1

14. Had to think about this one for a second…

Almost everyone will go around the sun more times in their life than around the Earth.

– Haminthepaint

15. The problem of evil

Santa Claus knows exactly where all the evil people are in the world but doesn’t do anything about it.

– Katiari

16. The first shall be last

Being the last person to comment on something is actually a lot harder than being first.

– Raphael_Stormer

17. Locking mechanisms

Your password has probably locked you out more times than it has locked other people out.

– SVXNx

18. Wha?

You can remember that you forgot something but you can’t remember what you forgot.

– Just_Strawberry7295

19. Can’t fast-travel

Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can’t find any enemies.

– Canadaba11

20. The real formula

You aren’t paid according to how hard you work; you are paid according to how hard your employer thinks you are to replace.

– Bismuth81

21. Honoring the fallen

Stan Lee’s funeral was a reverse cameo.

All the superheroes appeared in the background of his story.

– Adamb1403

22. To be in your shoes…

The tallest person in the world has physically experienced being the exact height of every other person in the world at some point.

– SilphRoadPokemon

23. You’re perpetuating the problem

People who respond with, ‘That’s not how the world works!’ when told to be nicer by others are the exact reason that that’s not how the world works.

– ObsoleteOcto

24. And man is it boring

Watching a graduation ceremony is essentially just sitting through a movie that’s entirely end credits.

– definitelyusername

25. You’ll need a cipher

Your thoughts might actually be in such a personalized, coded shorthand that even if someone COULD read your mind, they wouldn’t understand what the hell you’re thinking.

– jfi224

26. That’s the idea

Light bulbs were such a good idea that they became the symbol for a good idea.

– Frahmy12

27. Make lemonade

A lemon is not naturally occurring.

It’s a hybrid developed by crossbreeding a bitter orange and a citron.

So life never gave us lemons; we invented them ourselves.

– TripleRangeMerge

Deep thoughts, indeed.

What wisdom do you have to contribute?

Drop it on us in the comments.

The post Check Out 27 of the Most Fascinating Shower Thoughts appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About What They Miss Most from the 1990s

The 90’s. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Maybe even another dimension. Or a weird, puke-green dream.

But a lot of us miss it anyway.

What’s something from the 90s you miss? from AskReddit

What does Reddit think was the best part of this era? Let’s find out.

1. Sit-in Pizza Huts

I was on vacation in the mountains up state and they had one in town. I got to have pizza in an actual Pizza Hut for the first time since the late 90’s early 2000’s.

We had one outside of town and then that closed and they made a to go one that ended up also closing. Now I can have one of the local places or Papa John’s or Domino’s.

The target nearby does have the mini Pizza Hut pizzas and some of their appetizers. It’s hardly the same as getting it from a Pizza Hut itself.

– twin-shadows

2. Goofing off without it being posted

I had to stop drinking with one of my friends because she’d ALWAYS record everyone doing anything even remotely fun or goofy and it’d be on snapchat or Facebook within seconds.

Like, I just wanna get a little drunk and dance and have a good time with my friends, I don’t want every person I hardly know seeing me let loose.

– nothoughtsnosleep

3. Authentic social interactions

Being social with people felt so different and authentic.

My friends would sometimes just “drop by” to see if I was home to say hi.

We could pick up the phone and have hour long conversations.

It felt like text message cheapened that.

The lesser dependence on technology seemed to cultivate more genuine friendships but that was just my experience.

– runr7

4. TV with specific broadcast times

We would all gather in my tiny college apartment to watch The Office every week. Good memories!!

And I believe Game of Thrones was the last time I did that with any friends as well.

I wonder if we’ll ever do that again.. weird to think that might have been the last time.

– Smilingaudibly

5. Being unreachable

I miss not being able to be reached, or being able to reach people.

Back then you’d call your friend and it would ring somewhere in their house. If there was no one there (which was common) you’d shrug and just carry on your day. If you just wanted to chill out on your own you’d just not answer the phone.

Now, everyone knows people are never without their phones. I’ve had people p**sed at me because I took an hour to reply to a text.

– kor_hookmaster

6. The 90’s aesthetic

It was extreme and alternative, not family-friendly wacky or dystopian like a lot of people think when they see an 80’s aesthetic.

Example: the entire aesthetic of Nickelodeon in the 90’s. Slime and extreme s**t.

– XtremePizzaBuilder

7. Online privacy being the norm

It’s unreal how blithe some people have gotten toward privacy.

My brother’s a high school teacher, and a few years ago he caught a girl in his class livestreaming herself just…sitting there, learning. He asked her to stop, and noticed that there were 15 people apparently watching her on the stream, and suggested that the kinds of people who would watch a 16-year-old girl sitting in class are maybe not the kinds of people she should want watching her.

The girl’s response was a confused “Why not?”

– Dahhhkness

8. Mor affordable housing

There was a time when my kid could have moved out and rented with room mates or even on his own.

But its very hard for young people to start out with the current condition.

– etriff

9. Just general childhood

Free from most adult responsibilities, free from social media, free from bulls**t politics (they were there for sure, but you literally had to look for them, lol), free from a general miasma of fear coming from the media.

When I think back, all I remember is sunshine, the lack of a weight bearing down on my shoulders all the time and the sweet sounds of amazing music.

While I miss it, I am just grateful that I got to experience it.

– Throwaway7219017

10. The optimism

It was a pretty happy decade. The Cold War was over. The economy was booming. Technology seemed to be offering us solutions before we even knew we had a problem.

The products of pop culture almost never dwelled on dystopia or decline.

Air travel was about as dangerous as bus travel.

Acid rain and the hole in the ozone layer were problems of the decade before that seem to have been fixed, and climate change was still called global warming and was not nearly so front and center in how people talked about the future.

All in all, the 90s were a pretty solid decade.

– faceintheblue

11. Mom and pop shops

Family owned convenience stores, diners, burger joints, ice cream parlors, cafes, bookstores, delis, etc.

Even small neighborhood grocery stores.

And independent music venues!

Seems like I’m talking about the 50s but in the 90’s these places still existed. In my hometown most of them are completely gone and were replaced by generic corporate chains or condos. The ones that are still around are struggling to stay afloat and compete.

I’m glad I got to enjoy them while they existed but also realized how much I took them for granted.

– dotskee

12. The optimistic internet

I genuinely feel like the Internet has gone from “the most important and greatest achievement of humanity” to “something that might have been a mistake” during my lifetime

It’s really sad because a global communications network should be a great thing for everyone

– Badloss

13. The airports

I miss how chill and cool airports were.

Watching the plane leave after hugging my parents goodbye or waiting at the window watching it dock knowing someone you were waiting for was about to get off.

– MindSecurity

14. The arcades

Arcades died specifically because home console graphics caught up to them. The PS1 and Saturn got close enough that the differences started feeling minor and then with the Dreamcast and PS2 (and the rise of online gaming) it was all over.

It’s not as though Dave and Busters and Round One are unpopular, but you go for experiences that don’t translate as well to home, which means the few modern arcade games are either steering wheel racers, light gun games, or peripheral-based rhythm games.

– milespudgehalter

15. Full size Frosted Strawberry Pop Tarts

They’re, like, half the thickness these days!

That and eating them while watching back to back episodes of Saved by the Bell on Saturday mornings. Good times…

– panamanimal

Yeah. I agree. With just…all of that.

What do you miss about the past?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Talk About What They Miss Most from the 1990s appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Remember Their School’s Dumbest Rules

There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing that YOU are the reason there’s a new rule at some place.

It happened to me at my old school, which was rife with plenty of ridiculous rules. Apparently I’m not alone in that.

What’s the dumbest rule your school ever enforced? from AskReddit

How are our institutions of learning striving to keep the peace? Reddit tells all.

1. “No jackets without the school logo”

I was a high school teacher for several years, both buildings I worked in were FREEZING, and having admin pull students out of my classroom during a 50 minute period & giving them detention instead of letting them LEARN is cruel and completely unnecessary, in my opinion.

– Master_Catch_9089

2. “No snowballs”

If you throw snowballs, you get a one day suspension.

The first long weekend after a snowfall everyone would throw snowballs to get an additional day added to the long weekend.

– MrFake_Name

3. “Go to class, no exceptions”

I got Saturday school for missing a day of classes when I was 16. Seems reasonable, except I missed to go complete my US citizenship and officially become a citizen alongside my mom (it took us 12 years to go through the legal process, btw. Whole other issue).

I had a note from my mother as well as a signed official Federal form they give you to explain to school/employers why you were absent.

Apparently the only acceptable absence excuse was illness. I got punished for becoming a citizen 🤦‍♀️

– Lumpy_Constellation

4. “Zero tolerance”

That if you say/do anything back to your bully it becomes a mutual conflict and isn’t bullying, so if they start calling you slurs and making you feel bad every day and you call them stupid once or twice the school probably won’t help.

– wowthatfood

5. “If you’re late, we’ll make you more late”

The new Principal made a “morning round-up” rule where anyone arriving to class after the last bell had to go to the cafeteria and listen to a lecture about not being late for class.

This took about an extra 15 minutes, making the students even more late to class than they would have otherwise been.

Needless to say, everyone hated it, even the teachers. That principal didn’t last long…

– LiveTrash

6. “Toilet paper must be rationed”

This was in 1997/98, btw.

Apparently the high school girls room was going through too much toilet paper so the dean, a woman, stood outside the door and distributed a few squares of 1-ply institutional toilet paper to us as we went in. If she noticed toilet paper on the floor, our ration got cut down. If we asked for more for…bigger jobs…we were told to saved it for home.

There were several episodes of girls stuck in stalls until friends could beg for more TP because of period messes or unexpected bowel incidents. The dean wouldn’t even hand it over–she would go in the bathroom and pass it a few squares at a time over the door. If you didn’t catch it as it fell and it landed on the floor, well, that’s your fault and you’re not getting more. If you used more than she thought necessary, tough luck, go to class with blood/s**t on your body.

It took about a week of extremely angry parents coming to the school and calling both the school and the school board, but we finally got our toilet paper back, unlimited.

How did we celebrate?

By TPing her car, of course.

– stabbyspacehorse

7. “Bathrooms are closed”

Closing boys toilets, because some c**t was stealing toilet paper.

When school staff announced this stupid rule, some students actually threatened to s**t on the tables then.

– latvian_username

8. “ID safety”

It wasn’t really the rule that was dumb but the reason for it. In my last year of high school, the school issued a rule that all students had to wear student IDs. If you didn’t, you had to immediately go and pay for another ID. While you can see how many students may have saw this a way to skip class, the reason for this was the school shootings that happened the previous year.

The reasoning was that it would be easier to spot who is a student and who is not a student to then see who has malicious intent…..except that most shooters were students….so….

– Seiko_Enohara

9. “No touching the snow”

In grade school, we weren’t allowed to play on the playground equipment when it snowed.

Eventually, were weren’t allowed to play with snow or even go near it- I got in trouble for sitting in snow.

This was in Minnesota where it snows half the year. Recess basically consisted of milling around the blacktop for thirty minutes.

– BW_Bird

10. “Don’t play on the golf course”

Our tiny community got a burst of cash in the 70’s due to having mineral rights on land with oil. It was amazing some of the things we had access to for a school in the plains in Montana: computer lab, ceramics, photography, and a freaking laser! They also bought the grade school a miniature golf course in the center of the playground.

A majority of the playground was concrete squirrels, turtles and a whale. These looked like a lot of fun to play on for a kid. We couldn’t touch them. We couldn’t get near them. We couldn’t land our star wars figures on them, incorporate them in our games in any way or even walk near them when running from someone playing tag. Once in PE we got out the clubs and played a few rounds in my entire time in school. Other classes never even got that.

After about 30 years, during a student clean up, they got some of the upper level high school kids to take hammers to them and pulverized them.

– DarrenEdwards

11. “Ties ALWAYS”

You have to wear your tie all the way home.

Some sad bastard teachers would stand on the main road away from the school and try to hand out detentions in presumably their own time

– ——__————

12. “Bathroom sign in sheets”

My friend is an administrator at a private school in NJ and the faculty has to sign in and out of the bathroom using Google sheets.

9am, 10 minutes, M-F

– no__ragrets__

13. “No ankles allowed”

Girls weren’t allowed to show their ankles.

The dean had a pack of socks in her office she would give the students and make them wear.

Only girls tho. This was the 2000s.

– LoveAndDynamite

14. “No unnatural hair colors”

Except for Lily, who dyed her hair the school color (maroon).

It was dark enough to argue it was a weird red/brown, but it was clearly maroon and I think she got away with it because it was “school spirit”

– poachels

15. “We keep your phones”

If you were caught on your phone they’d take it until the end of the week. you’d get it back at half 3 on friday.

parents went mental and a few even came together and sent bills through for part of the phone bills, they ditched that rule after 2 weeks.

phones were kept overnight in the school in the office until that friday if they were confiscated. no safe or anything, just in a plastic box. no getting it back at the end of the day, you just had to go for days without a phone, even at home

– bigfrogb**ch

Well, I’ve certainly learned a lot.

What was the dumbest rule at your school?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Remember Their School’s Dumbest Rules appeared first on UberFacts.

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Mating Rituals That Would Definitely be Super Strange For Humans

One of the strangest writing jobs I’ve ever had was for an annual infotainment show for a zoo in which my partner and I wrote a series of sketches about weird animal mating rituals.

I have learned things I never wanted to know, and my search history is forever scarred.

What is an animal’s mating ritual you’re glad humans don’t have? from AskReddit

And now it’s time for you to join me in my forbidden/cursed knowledge. Behold, the words of Reddit.

1. Bellbirds

In 2019 researchers found that the song of the male white bellbird can reach levels of up to 125 decibels.

This makes it the loudest bird ever recorded to date, crushing the previous record holder, the screaming piha (which has been recorded up to 116 dB).

The worst/best part (depends on how you look at it) is that it performs at its loudest when the female is on the same branch, screaming right at her, which is enough to even cause hearing damage in the female. Imagine walking into a bar, and just screaming at the top of your lungs, popping the eardrums of every girl in the bar, just to announce that you’re single.

– girrafitygoo

2. Giraffes

The males repeatedly headbutt the females in the bladder until they p**s themselves, then they taste the urine to see if the female is in heat.

I’m sure some of you freaks are into that but still.

– Coera

3. Moose

They make a ditch, fill it with p**s, trample around to make some delicious p**sy mud then splash around so it covers their whole body.

Moose are LIT.

– Crackracket

4. Anglerfish

Females are humongous compared to males, so rather than doing it the old fashioned way, the male will bite onto the female, his insides will slowly turn to mush, and he eventually fuses with the female, depositing sperm in the process.

Pretty metal.

– begoniasaurus-rex

5. Salmon

They’re born in freshwater, swim sometimes thousands of kilometers to get to the ocean and live out most of their lives, then when it’s time to mate they have to make the same journey back to where they were born except this time upstream against the current.

And on top of that, the majority of salmon die after spawning.

Imagine living your entire life knowing it all leads up to you making a grueling several thousand km journey just to bust one nut and die right after.

– the_freshest_scone

6. Antechinus

Male Antechinus refuse to eat or rest during mating season; they will smash nonstop until their body begins eating itself.

By the end of their mating season, the corpses of ragged males litter the breeding grounds.

– Spooplegeist

7. Garden birds

Many garden birds have a ritual in which the male pecks the female’s cloaca empty of the sperm of previous mates before having his own go.

Imagine if men would suck out previous partners’ sperm before having s** with a woman. I have imagined and I am very sorry I did…

– MissRbvK

8. Eagles

Evidently they do some some complex mating ritual, which eventually results in them locking claws as they fall to the ground.

Much fewer fatalities than the bee thing, but there’s still a chance of making birdie pancakes, rather than baby eagles.

– CrankaWhiskour

9. Elephant seals

A male will force about 50 females together on a beach as his harem, and will mate with them while biting them to keep them from fleeing.

Usually other males will be attracted, and the beachmaster will rush over to fight the newcomers, potentially rolling over and crushing some of his own offspring. They’ll slam and bite each other bloody, and the winner grabs a female and mates in triumph.

– ugagradlady

10. Slugs

They are hermaphrodites and in order to determine which of the two individuals will be the male seed, they gnaw at each other’s penis until one of them snaps off.

– randolphism

11. Dogs

Dogs get stuck during mating because of a process called a copulatory tie. It is also one of the main stages in the process of intercourse.

The male dog has an organ called the bulbus glandis, which is responsible for keeping him tied up with the female. The dog breeding tie basically keeps the semen secured inside the female dog.

The bulbus glandis expands and gets locked in the uterus, and the female dog gets higher chances of getting puppies.

You could never pull out! That’s the true doggy style

– Escape-Lucky

12. Porcupines

So much erect penis pee spraying and screaming, and then of course the risk of the act itself.

The only good part is they do it once a year instead of frequently, but still.

– BuffetOfBeav

13. Periodic cicadas

They live underground as larval nymphs, sucking xylem from tree roots, for years. Thirteen or seventeen, depending on the species. That’s all they do.

Then, a brood emerges from the ground, thousands or millions strong. Each one climbs a trunk or branch, molts one final time – and then the males begin to sing the song of their people. Nonstop, for the rest of their lives. The males and females mate, the females usually once, the males as frequently as possible.

The females lay their fertilized eggs, and then the adults (the ones who have not been eaten by predators or crushed by human accident) all die. When the eggs hatch, the new generation of larval nymphs burrow into the soil and the circle of life continues.

– Genshed

14. Monkeys

There are monkeys which hierarchy is based on having sex.

That means if you are a young male monkey, you got to hold your a** out for the elders, to be in better standing

– izefaze

15. Suriname Toads

The Suriname Toad keeps its eggs in its back the eggs infuse with the skin.

When the eggs hatch the tadpoles will live inside the skin of their mother until they have matured into young frogs and squeeze out.

– Block_Mountain

Yeah, I’m glad we don’t have to do any of that.

What’s a weird animal fact that you know?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Mating Rituals That Would Definitely be Super Strange For Humans appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Open Up About Their Most Useless Talents

Useless talents, or useless skills. We all have them. I’m really good at the pogo stick, for example. I set a record of over 5,000 consecutive jumps as a kid.

Why? I have no idea. It wasn’t a competition. Nobody even saw me do it. I just jumped and counted in the driveway one morning until I got too tired to keep going. And it’s the little things like that you learn to treasure.

What’s a useless talent of yours? from AskReddit

Let’s hear about some other useless treasures, via Reddit.

1. The impossible

I can fit the usb into the slot in the first try every time

– Panja_Paradesi

2. Dirty Al

I can make a disgusting parody out of any song. ANY song.

– speedballmonkey

3. The sweet sense

Knowing if someone is unpacking any sweets in the kitchen.

– straight-up-bs

4. Just browsing

I trained for a long time to only move one eyebrow as a child and as a side effect I can wriggle my ear on that side too.

Once I could lift one eyebrow I was satisfied and didn’t bother to train the other side.

– DerWassermann

5. Burp beyond limits

I can burp whenever I want and as much I want, without limits.

I mean, I can fill my stomach with air at will, allowing me to burp again and again. Also I can hold it long enough to make it go down and allow me to rip massive 7-9 seconds long farts.

Downside is that is that all that air pressure makes me look like an 8-month pregnant.

Upside is that I don’t have to worry about constipation, all that pressure pushes my poop down so fast I literally sh*t brown missiles out my *ss. I also don’t have to worry about inflatables in the pool/sea, I just float without a problem.

– N1664TR0N3000

6. ϱnibɒɘɿ ɘƨɿɘvɘЯ

I can read mirrored writing (without mirror), read upside down writing (without turning anything upside down), and read mirrored upside down writing (you guessed it. Without using mirrors or turning anything upside down).

– SalFunction12

7. The true accent

I can imitate nearly any accent and sound like a native speaker. (has been confirmed by people I’ve met from a variety of nations, and no, they weren’t just being polite to the goofy American.) I can’t speak French for sh*t though. I sound like Clark Griswold in “National Lampoon’s European Vacation”.

– DeadLined784

8. Forget and forget

I have a wonderful ability to forget people’s names almost immediately after they tell me then avoid asking until its reached a point where it’s far too awkward to bring it up

– Pale-Yam8117

9. Speaking my language

I can program in shellscript, it’s useful on very rare occasions.

– Flynntheforce

10. Sniff ’em out

I can tell when a u.s. currency bill is counterfeit with my eyes closed.

– Fromoogiewithlove

11. Opening doors

Not super useless since it has a few uses but I can open doors with my feet.

It’s best with doorknobs.

If I have my hands full and I’m not wearing any shoes or socks I usually do this method.

– TrutiTru

12. Take the stairs

I am exceptional at going down stairs two at a time

– tungstenwalrus2

13. That rocks

I am weirdly good at skipping rocks.

Just did it a lot as a kid and now people get excited when I toss a rock and it skips 20 times.

– contrary-contrarian

14. Work up an appetite

When I start talking about food people start drooling.

Apparently I just start getting really descriptive about the things I like.

Came in handy when I was working as a waiter at one restaurant and a cashier at another. I was able to upsell more customers than anyone else.

Most of the time these days it is pretty useless.

– RabbitsRuse

15. Achieving enlightenment

You know that question “what is the sound of one hand clapping?”

I can answer it, with either hand.

– calcbone

I dunno, I’m pretty envious of some of those. The accent thing seems pretty killer.

What’s YOUR useless talent?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post People Open Up About Their Most Useless Talents appeared first on UberFacts.

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Read About the Real Upsides (and Downsides) of Being Attractive

There’s been a whole lot of wisdom about physical attractiveness and shallowness and finding true fulfillment over the years.

The best of it, of course, came from Zoolander.

Would you pay $5000 to be extremely physically attractive? Why or why not? from AskReddit

So, is there actually more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking? Let’s see what Reddit has to say.

1. Seems like a bargain.

I need at least $5000 more in dental work and also probably twice as much for surgery, just to look normalish again. $5k to fix everything would be magnificent!

Wouldn’t even need the whole ‘extremely attractive’ bit, but if that’s included, nice.

– MedusasSexyLegHair

2. Reverse!

It doesn’t say decent shape though, it just says extremely attractive.

It could be achieved by making everybody attracted to my fat unhealthy body.

– of_a_varsity_athlete

3. Easy for you to say.

“No no no, just be yourself! Looks aren’t everything!”

– The average very attractive person

– Princess_Moon_Butt

4. Give me a challenge.

Isn’t this supposed to be a tough choice?

Like you’re extremely physically attractive but you can’t stop farting whenever you smile or something

– Dainish410

5. There are downsides.

No.

Because I’m finally at an age where I am comfortable in who I am. I prefer to not be the most noticed person in a room.

Being extremely attractive as a woman comes at a cost. Constant harassment by men, jealousy from women. Never going anywhere or doing anything inconspicuously.

I love being anonymous in public and prefer for people to find me attractive getting to know me.

– MustBeThursday42

6. Things change.

I wasn’t attractive or popular as a child, I was the last picked for the team and generally just a nothing.

Then there was a time in my life where I was very physically attractive. People treat you differently. People want to be your friend who sneered at you before. People want to be around you because of what it does for them, and their image. People who bullied you before suck up to you. People of the opposite sex pretend to like you and you think they are your friend but then they hit on you.

Now that I don’t look like that anymore I know that people who like me, genuinely like me for who I am.

– [deleted user]

7. Sign me up.

Dude, I would pay 50,000. F*ck, 500,000 (assuming i can pay in instalments). Sh*t man, I would give up the last twenty years of my life (and I am 45)

Nothing determines your success in life more than attractiveness. Nothing.

– theAnalepticAlzabo

8. Not a collector’s item.

I have an extremely attractive friend and by that experience I wouldn’t want that life.

She has a lot of *ssholes around her and there has been a lot of jealousy in her relationships.

It’s like many people just want to collect and possess her to bump up their image

– theswamphag

9. A solid investment.

heck yeah, even in terms of just sheer money I’d absolutely make all that money back before too terribly long just in terms of what extra I’d make/save because people find me hot.

At the end of the day though, it would give me the push I need to get my confidence and turn myself around

– ParkityParkPark

10. Want to be known.

Nah.

I’m decent enough looking now. Being attractive doesn’t matter and I don’t think I’d do well with more attention based on my appearance.

I want to be known, accepted, wanted, appreciated, and loved.

Being extremely physically attractive may open more doors, but it doesn’t guarantee ever being seen for more than just that.

– switchboards

11. Save that cash.

No. I’d rather spend the money on something else.

– PerfectParfait5

12. It’s a steal!

Even at like 100k it’s a steal. It’s a well documented phenomenon that attractive people are considered more frequently for promotion / raises at work and are more likely to be judged as having ‘leadership skills’ than average people.

Assuming you work a standard office job, it would pay back fairly quickly.

– Wind_Yer_Neck_In

13. The married life.

Nah, just because it’d be a waste.

I’d still be kinda old and married and thus, completely unf*ckable.

– TheRynoceros

14. Let’s haggle.

I would pay $1 to look remotely attractive.

– ThiccDaddy1198

15. What a twist!

Monkey’s Paw : OP didn’t specify physically attractive to what

– xaradevir

At this point I’d empty my bank account just to fit into my old jeans again. But apparently I have to “exercise” and “stop eating nachos for every meal” instead. What a rip off.

How would you answer this question?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Read About the Real Upsides (and Downsides) of Being Attractive appeared first on UberFacts.

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Check Out These Fascinatingly Useless Talents That People Have

Everybody has a useless skill or two. For example, I can make a dolphin noise with my mouth. I’ve never met anyone else who can do it in the way I can, and it’s gained me exactly nothing in this life.

I’m teaching my 5 year old niece to do it so she can keep the torch of meaninglessness aflame, because these things are important.

What’s a useless talent of yours? from AskReddit

So what useless skills to the people of Reddit have? Let’s delve in.

1. That special touch

[I can touch my nose with my tongue] too.

I never understood why all the guys in my class would ask to see my “cool trick” and why the girls hated me.

– Ret*rdoTheGayDolphin

2. Rip roarin’ time

I can reproduce the exact sound of a chainsaw with my mouth

– frank_98_

3. Anyone can whistle

I can whistle in many different ways.

Actually very useful for annoying the f*ck out of everyone.

– ilovebravebrowser

4. Reading and writing

I can read and write at the same time. I’ll read a bit, process it, send it to my hand, and take notes while I read the next bit. It was very useful in college but I got burnt out and have a sh*t job now, so it’s not useful to me any more :/

At my peak it was like having my own internal secretary. Good times.

Edit for clarity: Yes I mean reading one thing while writing another thing

– ipakookapi

5. Don’t do it

If I drop the soap in the shower 9 times out of 10 I can catch it before it hits the floor.

I call the skill being soapidextrous.

Sadly, I have never been to prison which is the only place this skill might come in handy.

– slartibartjars

6. The fart of the deal

Farting with whatever loudness I want. I can somehow control the loudness of my farts without a change in the quantity of them

– Minecraft_Player1475

7. A whole lsit

Ooh my wife says I have quite a few utterly useless talents! Among them:

Remembering the lyrics to a song after only listening to it 1-2x.

Knowing what time it is within 5 minutes regardless of when I last looked at the clock.

Throwing our son’s toys into their baskets/buckets with stupid accuracy.

Avoiding stopping short when driving by accelerating / decelerating at the perfect time when coming up on yellow lights.

– ReallyCleverName69

8. Very snappy

I can snap, like, really loud.

Like if i snap too close to my head or someone else’s it can cause my/their ears to ring.

– Nogard_Ruler_Brynn

9. On the fence

I took 3 years of fencing. Not a lot of call for sword fighting these days. However It did come in handy just once when I was in the army and we were getting riot control training, a bunch of us were dicking around with the batons and I managed to do pretty well in a 4 on one baton duel.

But really it’s a useless talent.

– Wacokidwilder

10. That’s still a thing?

I’m really good at Dance Dance Revolution.

Like not “play sometimes and can play on medium” like I’ve traveled and won tournaments in other cities and can perfect most songs on the hardest difficulty.

It’s fun and a great workout but it doesn’t really get me anywhere in life.

– PoPo573

11. Cursed cursive

I can write (in cursive) backwards… neatly… hold it up to a mirror and its perfectly neat and legible

– MelodyM620

12. Gotta hand it to ya

I can do ALL the “hand and finger movement tricks” more or less perfectly..

Like spinning hands in opposite direction, patting head – rubbing belly, split fingers in the middle, leaving the two middle fingers together while spreading pinky and pointer finger, and so on…

I learned this back when games came on 1.44 discs and there was a lot of waiting time.

– guvakkamole

13. Battle ready

Knowledge of military equipment and tactics (I don’t claim to be a tactical genius or know how the military works, I’ve never served).

I’ve read so many books about military hardware, supply chains, tactics and much more that just ends up being useless at the end of the day.

– Ghost-Rider9925

14. Just my type

I can type fast. On typing tests I average 85-90wpm if I’m tired but I can go up to 120wpm for up to 5 minutes at a time with over 90% accuracy if my fingers are extra nimble.

It might sound useful but it’s really not. Past about 50wpm there’s no real purpose because nobody’s job is to type up documents or anything anymore.

When I’m typing an email or essay or something I don’t need to type nearly that fast.

– ceramicthumb

15. Guilty slumber

I can sleep peacefully even if I didn’t do my homework

– Neoptys

Here’s to all the useless skills out there. One day perhaps you’ll find a home.

What’s your most pointless talent?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Check Out These Fascinatingly Useless Talents That People Have appeared first on UberFacts.

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Take a Look at These 15 “Holy Grails” of Random Collections

I’ve had very random, half-hearted collections throughout the years.

When I was a kid and home internet was still a new thing, I would collect discs and CDs that had free internet service trials on them. I realize that for any Gen Z people reading this that probably sounds like gibberish, so maybe I should keep this more accessible and mention my less than impressive shot glass collection instead.

In any case, I’ve never been serious enough to really go for a “holy grail,” like these people on Reddit did.

What is the "holy grail" of the thing you’re a collector of? from AskReddit

Here are some of the big find items for these categories of collections:

1. Obsolete tech

I collect obsolete tech, my personal holy grail would have to be the Halcyon video game console from 1985.

There were only a handful that were actually produced and most likely even fewer still floating around.

– starcabin_

2. Vinyl

While I do not personally collect vinyl, I love this story.

“During the early days of the White Stripes, Jack White teamed up with musician friend Brian Muldoon to form The Upholsterers. Both former upholsterers, the pair then hid 100 copies of their song ‘Your Furniture Was Always Dead… I Was Just Afraid To Tell You’ in reupholstered furniture around Detroit in 2004.”

A few have been found, but last I checked only like 4-5. I just love the idea of opening up a chair and finding a Jack White album placed there by the man himself.

– AllBadAnswers

3. Nintendo

Nintendo world championship gold cartridge NES.

– Fezzic5

4. Artifacts

probably ancient Greek or Roman coins which have been perfectly preserved

– theeCrawlingChaos

5. Niche art

An original Bob Ross painting.

He painted 3 for every show.

Almost none are in circulation though.

– edward_anastasio

6. Comics

The hulk vs wolverine comic where MARVEL introduced Wolverine as a side character not supposed to become big.

– lookin4BEANSS

7. Rudolph memorabilia

My mom collects Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer stuff. She has an entire room of it.

I think her holy grails are a table and chairs set, artwork signed by the original designer, a rocking horse, and I’m pretty sure she has one of the original film reels.

– YourMomsSideUp

8. Roller-coasters

I collect roller-coaster credits (that is, I track the coasters I have ridden).

There are a few grails, mostly coasters that only opened for a short time or we’re in obscure parts of the world. I have one of the holiest of grails: I rode ring°racer at the Nurburgring during one of the four days it was open to the public.

The only rarer credits out there are Twist Coaster Robin (Japan, only open for a few hours) and Orphan Rocker (never opened; it is estimated four people have ever ridden it).

– Alaeriia

9. Stamps

Really fun modern stamps. I don’t want the old ones or the rare ones. I really just enjoy modern fun stamps.

I buy thousands of dollars per year in postage for my company and all of it is in fun stamps, not meter credit. Every piece of mail I send for business has a fun stamp on it. Sesame street, mr rogers, first space walk, thermographic solar eclipse stamps, scratch and sniff popsicles, and soon the star wars stamps!!! I love them all and want to share them with my clients.

My holy grail would be more harry potter stamps. Those were really cool stamps.

– KiniShakenBake

10. Model trains

My holy grail was just recently accomplished. As a model train collector, the centerpiece of any toy train collection is the Lionel Blue Comet, a tinplate train they made in the 1930s and continue to make in varying forms today. The most valuable versions are the 400E Standard Gauge and 296E O Gauge “Baby Blue Comet”, both of which Lionel made in the 1930s out of tinplate and clad in enamel paint. Mine is a 262E, a small O gauge engine that almost never came in blue apart from maybe one or two examples I’ve found online.

Here is a picture of it.

My Blue Comet isn’t the most glamorous or expensive model, in fact it cost me $150 for the engine and tender, but it satisfies something deep inside me that I don’t want any other tinplate Blue Comets anymore. I think that’s what a “holy grail” should be: something that puts to rest a long-gestating want for something.

​ – Reymond_StJames

11. Video games

I collect video games, and I really really want a copy of Hideo Kojima’s “Snatcher” for the Sega CD.

– jidar

12. Perfume

I used to collect high end perfume and there are a lot of vintage classics that are highly coveted.

Even a small decant (5ml or so) could be really hard to track down and then very expensive if you could find it.

But my *personal* holy grail is a perfume that was discontinued in 2011 or 12 and then re-released in a very limited quantity, but only in Paris, in 2016 or so. The only 2 or 3 bottles still available for sale are going for over $650 and…I’m very sad about that.

It’s Iris Ganache by Guerlain, if anyone is curious.

– NicoleNicole1988

13. Beanie Babies

I collect Beanie Babies. (no, I don’t think they’ll get valuable, I just legitimately like them lol)

Most Beanie Babies are worth very little. But for serious collectors, the holy grail is the Peanut the Elephant Beanie Baby, in royal blue! Only a small amount of royal blue Peanuts were produced, (1500-2000 or so) very soon after, the creator decided that Peanut would look better in light blue. (Teeny Beanie and Beanie Buddy royal blue Peanuts were later produced on a larger scale) Royal blue Peanut is probably the most valuable Beanie Baby, selling for up to a thousand dollars.

– PartyPorpoise

14. Plants

I collect plants! For a lot of plant collectors, philodendron spiritus sancti is the holy grail.

They’re endangered, and more of them exist in the homes of private collectors and growers than in the wild.

A small plant goes for around $10k. I saw an auction for one go close to $15k.

My personal holy grail is a variegated rhaphidophora tetrasperma. Maybe one day I will be super lucky and find a random sport variegated one!

– mmmatchaball

15. Guitars

1959 Sunburst Les Paul

Of the few that are on the market, some have gone for well into the six, and (maybe?) seven figures

– DreadPirateCristo

Remember, before you go throwing literally anything out, look it up online. There may well be someone looking for just that!

What would be the holy grail of your collection?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Take a Look at These 15 “Holy Grails” of Random Collections appeared first on UberFacts.