10+ Experts Give Advice on the Worst Things to Say in Your Next Speech

Fear of public speaking is a real thing. In fact, it’s actually one of the things people apparently fear more than death itself! What is it about speaking to a room of people that fills so many of us with the worst kind of existential dread?

I have found that practice and experience make everything easier (even public speaking), but advice from people who have been there can’t hurt, either. So, the next time you’re sitting down to write a speech, keep these no-no openers in mind!

#1. Clickbait.

“Top 13 reasons clickbait works. Number 10 will blow your tits clean off.”

#2. Here we go.

“I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of “I know your all want to get out of here, and aren’t interested in a long speech, but that’s too bad, here we go…”

#3. It’s not pretty.

“I’m imagining you all in your underwear, and it’s not pretty.”

#4. Just no.

“So I was reading on the internet the other day…”

#5. Hardy-har.

“Just flew in from LA

boy are my arms tired.”

#6. Solid.

“When I in grade 4 the teacher told us opening line of speech should get people’s attention. So, my friend made a speech, and he yelled, “SEX! Okay, now that I’ve got your attention, I would like to talk about the environment.”

#7. Definitely not that.

“Once I was giving a speech and the podium wasn’t attached right, so just as I was about to start and I leaned on the podium it lifted up and the microphone hit me in the mouth.

When it was an inch away from my mouth, I had just finished the first word of my speech:

FUCK”

#8. A stunner.

“Webster’s dictionary defines <topic> as…reads dictionary definition in its entirety.”

Well this is going to be a stunner of a speech in already sure of it.”

#9. On mothers.

“As a mother…”

#10. An hour from now.

“An hour from now you’re all going to be asking yourselves ‘Is this guy EVER going to get to the point ?’ and an hour after that you still won’t know.”

#11. Hopefully.

“I am much smarter then you so hopefully you get what I am about to say.”

#12. Yawwwwn.

“Hello, my name is <name> and I’m going to talk to you about…..”

#13. Like…

“So like, uhhhh…”

#14. Insert zodiac sign.

“Well… as a insert zodiac sign I think that…”

 

The post 10+ Experts Give Advice on the Worst Things to Say in Your Next Speech appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Film and TV Fans Rank The Saddest Scenes of All Time

“Sad” is, of course, a pretty subjective term. It could mean a lot of different things to different people. Still, there are some things that just about everyone can agree are sad.

Today, we’ll be checking out what scences 15 film and television buffs found to be especially heart-wrenching.

#1. When somebody loved me…

“Jesse’s flashback in Toy Story 2. It fucked me up then and it fucks me up now.”

#2. Classic.

“When Jesse finds out that Leslie died in Bridge to Terabithia.”

#3. Fresh Prince

“In Fresh Prince when Will’s deadbeat father runs out on him yet again after a brief reunion and after he explains to Uncle Phil how he didn’t need his father to be the man he became, Will tearfully asks “how he come he don’t want me?”

Such a powerful scene. I feel such strong emotions every time I watch it.”

#4. Ugh, death.

“When the wife dies in Up. The end of Stepmom when she’s giving her children the gifts.”

#5. I’m tired, boss…

“The Green Mile when they had to put the big fella down ?

#6. Serenity

“I’m a leaf on the wind. Watch how…”

“Wash aint comin…”

#7. Baby Simba.

“Mufasa dying. I’ve seen The Lion King soo many times but I still tear up everytime I see young Simba trying to wake up his father.”

#8. Not in polite company.

“Buffy- the Body. Still can’t watch that episode with polite company around. It’s the “Mommy?” that gets me. Because we see this strong young woman who has saved the world half a dozen times over, the one everyone else looks to for strength and resolve, and in that moment, she’s just a little girl looking for her mommy. Tearing up as I write this.”

#9. Wallow in the sadness.

“Dumbo visiting his mom in jail.”

#10. It’s a volleyball. And yet…

“When Wilson falls off the raft.”

#11. Van Gogh.

“Van Gogh in gallery scene from Doctor Who. Nothing on TV has ever made me cry. I weeped like a little bitch after that.”

#12. It gets me every time.

“Uncle Iroh’s short story in Avatar the Last Airbender, where he sings ‘Little Soldier Boy’. It gets me every time.”

#13. He’s so smart.

“How the heck has no one said Forrest talking to Jenny’s grave?”

#14. Crying buckets.

“Potential spoilers for “About Time” which is a movie where all the men from a family have the ability to travel through time to a past memory and the “secret” is passed down from father to son.

Throughout the whole movie the son will periodically visit his father in his memories and slowly come to realize that his father has been revisiting him at various points as well. He learns eventually that he doesn’t just have the ability to revisit his past, but he can alter it and change his future.

This leads to him breaking things for the worse and him going back and fixing everything again. At some point the son learns that certain things are truly random, however, and can’t be controlled. In one timeline, the son has a daughter with his wife. In another, he has a son. This leads the father to teach his son to never go back before certain points, because you can’t control the dice roll of genetics. Changing your past in a way that alters who your kid will be is super risky, so it’s best not to risk it.

At the end of the movie, the son is about to have another kid with his wife, but his father has also died. He goes back to a memory that has played in the movie multiple times where he and his father are playing ping pong.

Instead of hitting the ball back at his father like he has countless times, the son lets it drop and his dad just looks at him. There is silence for a moment. Then he asks the son if he has died.

The son says yes and that he’s about to have another kid so he can’t come back to this memory anymore.

The dad says something like, “fancy another go?”

Then there’s a montage of home-movie-style clips where it shows the father and son essentially reliving their entire lives together once again before the son returns to the present never to see his dad again.

I’m a grown ass man and that shit made me cry fucking buckets.”

#15. I could have got more out.

“Oskar Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don’t know. If I’d just… I could have got more.

Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them.

Oskar Schindler: If I’d made more money… I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I’d just…

Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.

Oskar Schindler: I didn’t do enough!

Itzhak Stern: You did so much.

[Schindler looks at his car]

Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people. [removing Nazi pin from lapel]

Oskar Schindler: This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this. [sobbing]

Oskar Schindler: I could have gotten one more person… and I didn’t! And I… I didn’t!”

The post 15 Film and TV Fans Rank The Saddest Scenes of All Time appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ People Talk About the Most Wasteful Purchases You Could Make

Our society can be pretty wasteful. Half (or more) of the things we use every day are designed to be disposable, and even when they’re not, people are still tossing them out. There are so many things to waste money on, what would you say is the most unnecessary expense?

Check out these responses for some inspiration (they also might make you feel a bit ashamed, but no worries – you’re not alone!).

#1. Televangelists.

“My favorite televangelist story is Jan and Paul Crouch’s. Their granddaughter (who worked as an accountant for their Christian TV channel) discovered illegal accounting practices, the family fired her, and she reported them. Highlights of their nonprofits’ spending:

$50 million jet
13 mansions
$100k rv FOR THEIR DOGS!”

#2. Diamonds.

“Diamond ring. When I proposed, I knew that my wife would prefer a pretty $60 ring and a romantic vacation in Greece.”

#3. The science of car buying.

“Buying a brand new car every couple of years.

You buy a $50,000 car you’re shaving off 10% of the total value off by driving it one inch off the lot. 2-3 years later because you need to keep up with the Joneses, you buy another car with the $28 grand you sold your previous car for.

You also wonder why you’re in debt and your friends are living in nice houses and funding their continuing education.”

#4. Since 2012.

“My coworker has had a gym membership since 2012. She has been there 3 times since. Her husband is thrilled.”

#5. Kids grow like weeds.

“Designer clothes for kids/babies when they will grow out of them within a few months. My wife works at a nursery she has parents who do this and tell the nursery staff to not let the child ruin their clothes!”

#6. Impulse purchases.

“Impulse purchases at the grocery stores, specifically at Trader Joe’s! I don’t need that coffee chocolate or ginger cookies or dunkers, Trader Joe’s. But when you’re near the cash counter and they take one look at me, I go weak in the knees.”

#7. One day affairs.

“Expensive weddings when they CAN’T afford it.”

#8. Hands down.

“Cigarettes.”

#9. The list goes on…

“My old roommate let one of his buddys stay with us one time. This guy had just lost his job, apartment and girlfriend in a week so we felt kinda bad for him. We agreed to let him stay to get back on his feet. He gets a job and immediately takes his first paycheck and buys a guitar. The whole paycheck. $450 or so. Next paycheck? $300 bong and some other stupid shit. This guy didn’t even have a cell phone or a car. So he “solved” that problem a month or so later by buying a $400 car that didnt run and a $20 burner phone. Never got the car fixed and just had it scrapped. Guy drove me crazy.

Edit: shameful dollar sign edit…”

#10. Very cheap!

“My new iPhone 12 was included for free with my plan! And so was iPhone 11 last year! I get a free telephone every year :D”

“And how much is your monthly plan?”

“Very cheap! $149 a month.”

#11. More interest.

“Maxing out their credit cards and always having to pay the interest.”

#12. You won’t know.

“Alllll the new baby things you never use. But you won’t know until you don’t use them.”

#13. It fades.

“Tanning. Not only does it damage your body, it fades in a week or two.”

#14. Just extra packaging.

“100 calorie packs of stuff.. it’s just a bunch of extra packaging, just get a kitchen scale and do your own 100 cal portions of whatever food you want and put them in a reusable container.”

#15. Daily optimism.

“Lottery tickets / gambling – in moderation, it’s daily optimism, and I get that. But a lot of people take it too far and sink way too much $, and hope, into it.”

The post 10+ People Talk About the Most Wasteful Purchases You Could Make appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Reveal the Things Their Hometown is Infamous For

No matter where you end up in life, you’ll always remember your hometown. Maybe it’s a great place with fond memories, or maybe it’s a total s**thole that you’re glad to be away from. Every town has that one “thing” that defines it. Some places, though, have a darker claim to fame than others…

AskReddit users went on the record and shared what their hometowns are infamously known for.

1. Not the South

“I’ll preface this by saying this is not the South.

Back in the day, a crowd tried to lynch a black man over an alleged assault. A mob gathered, overpowered police, and stormed the courthouse where he was on trial. In an attempt to stop the violence, many government officials tried to address the crowd themselves. After none of this proved successful, the Mayor, fearing for his life, shot a member of this mob. The mob then attempted to hang the mayor as well.

Nowadays, it’s still one of the most dangerous cities in America, however only if you’re black.”

2. True crime

“A disproportionately high unsolved murder rate. In my 40+ years alive, there’s been less than 10 murders, (probably less than 5, but the last couple years have been a little crazy). Of those only like 3 are solved.”

3. It’s complicated

“The waterfall we have here and part of the Erie Canal. And it’s kind of a ghetto place. There’s the snobby tourist who come in and judge the people who live here. Like, dude take your hipster butt somewhere else if you don’t like us.”

4. The Big Easy

“Jambalaya, red beans and rice, Popeyes, Mardi Gras, French quarter, Bourbon Street, oh and Arby’s on canal.”

5. Dallas

“JFK got an unpleasant greeting from a guy named Lee Harvey.”

6. C’mon, sheriff…

“Our sheriff arrested Willie Nelson’s band… for weed.”

 

7. Well, sh*t

“Being full of sh*tty people. I’m not even kidding, if you go anywhere else in the province, and you mention my hometown, people usually grimace or pity you or even straight up ask you if you’re a piece of sh*t like everyone else there.”

8. Dad doesn’t reside there

“Big old prison. Smaller newer prison.

The big old one is used in films a lot, for example Shawshank.

The funny thing is, being born there it had no connotations for me. So when my parents split up and we moved, and people asked where my father was, and I told them, they all assumed he was locked up good.”

9. Deep in the heart of Texas

“Andrea Yates

Clara Harris

Enron collapse

Candy Man killer in the 70s (I didn’t exist then)”

10. Oscar!

“A giant, possibly man-eating, certainly terrifying snapping turtle, whose name is Oscar. We also have the oldest continuous annual festival in Indiana, which is a celebration of same turtle.”

11. Hellhole

“Very little, but Fatboy Slim, who grew up there, once called it “A suburban hellhole” which made the front cover of the local newspaper for three weeks in a row as people were so upset. He wasn’t wrong though.”

12. Google it

“The local football/Soccer team lied and said one of the players died so they didn’t have to play a match. (Players wanted to go to a stag do) There was a minutes silence for him and everyone thought he was dead. He was fine and just went home to Spain. This was like 2 days ago lol. Google it. Clubs name is Ballybrack FC. It’s been all over the news and I imagine it’s what we’re gonna be known for from now on.”

13. A sad state of affairs

“Apparently it’s a heroin death rate 25x the national average.”

14. Not a good combo

“Country music and meth.”

15. What an honor

“We were the subject of a 4chan prank and got Pitbull to come to our Walmart.”

The post 15 People Reveal the Things Their Hometown is Infamous For appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Reveal the Things Their Hometown is Infamous For

No matter where you end up in life, you’ll always remember your hometown. Maybe it’s a great place with fond memories, or maybe it’s a total s**thole that you’re glad to be away from. Every town has that one “thing” that defines it. Some places, though, have a darker claim to fame than others…

AskReddit users went on the record and shared what their hometowns are infamously known for.

1. Not the South

“I’ll preface this by saying this is not the South.

Back in the day, a crowd tried to lynch a black man over an alleged assault. A mob gathered, overpowered police, and stormed the courthouse where he was on trial. In an attempt to stop the violence, many government officials tried to address the crowd themselves. After none of this proved successful, the Mayor, fearing for his life, shot a member of this mob. The mob then attempted to hang the mayor as well.

Nowadays, it’s still one of the most dangerous cities in America, however only if you’re black.”

2. True crime

“A disproportionately high unsolved murder rate. In my 40+ years alive, there’s been less than 10 murders, (probably less than 5, but the last couple years have been a little crazy). Of those only like 3 are solved.”

3. It’s complicated

“The waterfall we have here and part of the Erie Canal. And it’s kind of a ghetto place. There’s the snobby tourist who come in and judge the people who live here. Like, dude take your hipster butt somewhere else if you don’t like us.”

4. The Big Easy

“Jambalaya, red beans and rice, Popeyes, Mardi Gras, French quarter, Bourbon Street, oh and Arby’s on canal.”

5. Dallas

“JFK got an unpleasant greeting from a guy named Lee Harvey.”

6. C’mon, sheriff…

“Our sheriff arrested Willie Nelson’s band… for weed.”

 

7. Well, sh*t

“Being full of sh*tty people. I’m not even kidding, if you go anywhere else in the province, and you mention my hometown, people usually grimace or pity you or even straight up ask you if you’re a piece of sh*t like everyone else there.”

8. Dad doesn’t reside there

“Big old prison. Smaller newer prison.

The big old one is used in films a lot, for example Shawshank.

The funny thing is, being born there it had no connotations for me. So when my parents split up and we moved, and people asked where my father was, and I told them, they all assumed he was locked up good.”

9. Deep in the heart of Texas

“Andrea Yates

Clara Harris

Enron collapse

Candy Man killer in the 70s (I didn’t exist then)”

10. Oscar!

“A giant, possibly man-eating, certainly terrifying snapping turtle, whose name is Oscar. We also have the oldest continuous annual festival in Indiana, which is a celebration of same turtle.”

11. Hellhole

“Very little, but Fatboy Slim, who grew up there, once called it “A suburban hellhole” which made the front cover of the local newspaper for three weeks in a row as people were so upset. He wasn’t wrong though.”

12. Google it

“The local football/Soccer team lied and said one of the players died so they didn’t have to play a match. (Players wanted to go to a stag do) There was a minutes silence for him and everyone thought he was dead. He was fine and just went home to Spain. This was like 2 days ago lol. Google it. Clubs name is Ballybrack FC. It’s been all over the news and I imagine it’s what we’re gonna be known for from now on.”

13. A sad state of affairs

“Apparently it’s a heroin death rate 25x the national average.”

14. Not a good combo

“Country music and meth.”

15. What an honor

“We were the subject of a 4chan prank and got Pitbull to come to our Walmart.”

The post 15 People Reveal the Things Their Hometown is Infamous For appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ Chefs Share Some of Their Favorite Recipes That You Can Make at Home

Do you like to cook, or are you the type of person who burns water? Well, who better to get some recipes and tips from than trained chefs, who are out there cooking yummy meals for us day in and day out?

In this AskReddit article, culinary professionals share some of their favorite recipes, most of which are easy enough for even the most inept home cook to get great results!

1. Wings

“Righto, you want some hot wings? Heres my EC Wings recipe, not for the faint of heart y’all. The EC – Existential Crisis – wing recipe is all about level of burn and interaction of different SHU levels in chilli tastes. Let’s get her rollin ey, cos this one will take at least a day to throw together.

Wings, part 1

Get yerself 4 wings – This recipe is for 4 of em so multiply ingredients if needs be – and chuck em in a sealable freezer bag SKIN ON. This ain’t about dietary concerns. Add about

80mls of Soy Sauce (Sweet Soy if you’re skipping the sauce step further down)
30mls of Red Wine Vinegar
60mls Lime Juice, fresh squeezed. None of that bottled shit.
2 cloves of Garlic (finely diced, or a heaped tablespoon of Garlic Paste)
a heaped Teaspoon of Carolina Reaper Paste. For the Reaper paste I recommend Chilli Factory’s one, although this can be substituted for whatever you want heat wise – Sometimes I’ll use a smokey Chipotle instead if I’m cooking for others who ain’t on my chilli level. Regardless: for this recipe, the hottest chilli yer using is for the Marinade.
Mix all that up in a Blender or in a bowl with a fork if you’re old fashioned like that, pour it into the bag with the chook and seal it. Give her a good shake for coverage and chuck it in the fridge overnight – absolute minimum of 12 hours to marinate.

The sauce:

Another overnighter, borrowed this recipe from online and tweaked it a bit. Not a necessary addition, but you’ll be robbing yourself if you don’t do it as well.

12 finely diced Birds Eye Chillies (Peri Peri)
One clove of Garlic
40ml White Vinegar
1/2 teaspoon of salt
Combine and let her sit in room temperature for 12 hours or overnight, longer the better IMO. Now, before cooking the chicken – as the sauce has gotta cool – drop the sauce mix into a small saucepan on medium heat. Add a teaspoon of Caster Sugar and stir through, bringing it to the boil. Then crank yer heat down and let it simmer till the chillies are soft. Pour out and let that cool, I usually chuck mine in e freezer for 30 mins then fridge it. Once cooled, blender time til nice and smooth.

Guess what you just made? SRIRACHA. Noice. Well, Sriracha is with Jalapeños but whatevs, I’m manly and jalapeños are nothing to me. Plus, Jalapeños are in the Part 2 of the chicken.

Anywho, whilst the sauce is chilling in the fridge, pour 100ml of Orange (or Mango, mango works great too) Juice and a shot of Grand Marnier into a small saucepan. Reduce at high heat, whilst sprinkling more caster sugar in slowly, continuously stirring when it comes back to the boil. Once the consistency is thick like cream, take it off the heat, combine it with the homemade Sriracha, and chuck it back in the fridge. You’re left with a fruity dipping sauce that will punch you in the face if you look at it wrong.

Chicken, part 2

Almost there. This step is entirely optional as well, but in for a penny eh?

Finely dice about 6 decent sized Habaneros and [follow this guide here] (https://np.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/3j5lqs/my_homemade_habanero_powder_xpost_from_rfood/). PROTIP: open all your windows and maybe even chuck on a face mask as the fumes get stuck in the back of your throat pretty damn well.

Chicken part 3, the final chapter

Get yerself a bowl with a few whipped up eggs in it, and two shallow bowls. To one of em, add…

Half a cup of Breadcrumbs
Tablespoon of Salt (I use Himalayan Pink Salt because I’m classy as fuck like that)
Tablespoon of Cracked Black Pepper (Sichuan Peppercorns if you got em, distinct flavour base change for the better)

Sprinkle of Cayenne pepper

Dried Chillies from earlier. If you didn’t do that shrug your loss IMO, cos it makes the recipe.

To the other bowl, chuck a cup of flour in it. Grab your wings one at a time but keep the rest of the Marinade. Give the wings a shake to get rid of excess Marinade, even pat em down with a paper towel. Why, you ask? All that acid from the vinegar and juice earlier has already penetrated the meat like a Seviche and brought the Reaper paste and garlic flavour with it so it’s only needed just prior to cooking now. Give it a dredging in the flour, and carefully dip through the egg wash. Next, hold over the bowl with the chilli breading bits, grab a handful of the mixture and sprinkle it on til you can’t see the meat anymore. DO NOT dredge it in the Breading Mix, trust me. Place the wing on a lightly oiled pan, and when fully loaded back in the fridge uncovered for an hour. This should set the breaded bits.

Finally, preheat your oven to 180 degrees Celsius and slide those bad boys in there for 15 minutes give or take. Baste over the top with the extra Marinade every 5 minutes, and turn over.

After that long and complicated process, you’ll have the Best Goddamn Hot-Wings you’ll ever eat, or my name ain’t Fatbeard. Which it obviously ain’t, but y’know what I mean.

Who’s hungry?”

2. Tips from dad

“My Dad is a chef and he always makes unusual and delicious stuff. Homemade spicy cocktail sauce with grated jicama in it. Marinade jalapeno slices in soy sauce, it’s great.

The best is something that only other chefs are ever excited to try, but it’s so amazing. Stick with me on this. . . Blue cheese cinnamon rolls.

Start with a good yeast dough, fill with a cinnamon mix that is heavy on the cinnamon and a bit a nutmeg and all spice, and light on the brown sugar. No white sugar at all.

One risen and baked sprinkle with blue cheese crumbles while still warm. Once slightly melty drizzle with a white glaze.

Do not use cream cheese frosting. Do not frost. Light on the sugar glaze, do not treat it like you think you’re Johnson’s corner.

I promise it’s amazing.”

3. Cookies

Chicago Crunch Chocolate Chip Cookies. My mom originally saw the recipe in Woman’s Day or Family Circle years ago but this is the same one from Recipeland. She’d make these every holiday gathering and when my younger brother and I had curriculum day early release. Some people think it’s weird to put corn flakes inside of your cookies, but it’s actually pretty common in some places. I’ve just never seen it done quite like this before.”

4. Peposo

“Peposo (a black pepper based stew) is pretty great for home cooks. It looks classy as sh!t, it’s easy, doesn’t take much work, and absolutely “holy hell how can something be this good” delicious if you don’t cook often.

The only downside is that they don’t get to see you make it since the “impressive” part of the cooking happens about 3.5 hours before the finishing.

All you need is short rib (bone in you savages), a bottle of Chianti, and a ludicrous quantity of pepper. Of course, salt, tomato paste, a couple herbs, and some rice is definitely a plus.

Smash/crush some garlic, mix with tomato paste and liberally smear onto the short rib.

Buy whole black pepper corns. Crush some using a cutting board and skillet, maybe 2 tablespoons for 3 pounds? I’ve never measured, and usually add ground pepper too.

Put the beef in a pot/saute pan, add pepper on top. Poke in some herbs/ bag leaves/whatever if you have it. Pour in most of a bottle of Chianti. The cheap but not completely shit kind with work. Set it on high heat, turn down as low as you can right before boil. Add lid. Leave for 2 hours. Optionally flip beef prices and if possible, slide the bone out. If you take the bones out, leave them in the pot. Cook for another hour-hour and a half. It’s basically impossible to overdo this stuff, so just don’t stop until it’s basically falling apart when you touch it. Remove the herbs, beef, and bones. Give the bones to the dog. Enjoy his eternal love. Uncover and turn the heat back as high as it will go. Reduce until it’s nice and thick or it’s half the volume it was. Salt to taste (taste your food numbnuts). Put rice/polenta on a plate in a pretty shape. Stack some meat chunks on top. Pour over your sauce (you might need to whisk it to combat separation).

Make sure to make sexy eyes when they take a bite, they will have a spontaneous orgasm.

Honorable mention for learning to make your own marinade so that all your meat tastes better.”

5. Yummy!

“I make a grilled guacamole. Pretty standard guacamole recipe but everything gets charred on the grill and then cut and mashed. Creates the most delicious smoky flavor and takes guac to the next level! Something I thought couldn’t be done.”

6. Blew away the competition

“Mashed potato recipe I found online that blew away the competition this thanksgiving.

Boil 5 lbs of quartered, unpeeled Yukon gold or Idaho gold taters in 4 cups of whole milk, 4 cups of heavy cream, 9 sprigs of thyme, 8 cloves of garlic, 3 bay leaves. Once they are mashable, strain potatoes, remove herbs, mash, then fold the strained milk concoction back in slowly. Fold in 2-4 tablespoons of butter, roughly 2 tablespoons of olive oil, salt, pepper, and 3 tablespoons of grainy mustard.

I made turkey too so I took the bacon I used to keep the turkey moist and minced it and threw that in the mashed taters as well. Finally, to make it healthy, I threw in a handful of chopped parsley. Gold it up nicely. Watch as your taters are annihilated at thanksgiving and the sad, russet potato, dry as f*ck mash remains untouched!”

7. Beer bread

“Beer bread. It is one of the easiest things to make and who doesn’t like fresh bread. Take a can of beer, 3 cups of flour, 3 teaspoons of baking powder, 1 teaspoon of salt and mix it together. Put it in a bread pan and throw it in the oven at 375 for an hour. That’s it.”

8. Biscuits and Gravy

“Ok, I have worked as a professional chef, and here’s something wonderful for you out of my recipe file:

Special Biscuits and Gravy for a crowd

Gravy:

1 stick unsalted butter

1 medium sweet or yellow onion, very finely chopped or processed

2-3# fresh, good quality pork sausage

~1/4 c AP flour for thickening

2 c half and half + ~ 2 cups whole milk, preheated to below boiling in microwave

1/2 t fresh nutmeg

pinch cayenne pepper

salt & pepper to taste

In a medium dutch oven, over med heat, melt butter and then sauté onions until they are deeply caramelized, stirring often. Set onions aside, spray dutch oven with nonstick spray, add pork sausage, cook until heavily browned. Reintroduce onions, add flour, tossing mixture to combine – no flour specks should be visible.

Add hot milk mixture to pork and onions, using whisk or wooden spoon to scrape up fond and combine. Increase heat to med-high, stirring constantly, then drop to low when it starts simmering. Add nutmeg, cayenne, salt & pepper to taste.

Biscuits:

3 c cake flour

3 c AP flour

2 sticks butter, chilled, cut into slices

2 c shredded sharp cheddar cheese, frozen

1 T kosher salt

2 T baking powder

1/2 c finely chopped green onions (optional)

~2 c chilled cream

Preheat oven to 350F convection, 375F standard oven.

Process the cake flour with 1 stick butter until only small specks of butter remain, dump into stand mixer work bowl. Repeat with AP flour. Add cheese, salt, baking powder, green onions. Mix on low in stand mixer to thoroughly combine. Put flour mixture in freezer for 20 minutes. Add cream until a wet, sticky dough is formed, don’t overmix, make sure nothing dry remains on the bottom of the work bowl.

Using a greased spatula, turn dough out onto a heavily greased half sheet, pressing it into the corners. Bake, turning pan once, until golden, about 25 minutes.

Split hot biscuits, top with gravy.”

9. Simple and awesome

“I make a great coconut curry. It is so simple and tastes awesome.

To make the spice mix combine:

1/2 tsp cumin 1/2 tsp coriander 1/2 tsp cardamom 1/2 tsp ground cloves 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 1/4 tsp chili powder 1/4 tsp ground ginger 1/4 tsp turmeric salt and pepper to taste red pepper flakes to taste

In a medium sized sauce pan with enough olive oil to cover the bottom, brown some meat of choice (preferably, cubed beef, chicken or ground lamb in little meat balls).Add a diced medium sized onion once the meat is 3/4 cooked through. Once the onion goes translucent, add 2 cloves minced garlic. Add a sliced hot pepper (or peppers of your choice) and the spice mix. Stir through for 20-30 seconds and then add a can of coconut milk. Stir that and bring to a simmer. Take off the stove and serve over rice.”

10. Ooooohhhh this sounds good

“PEI POTATO CHOCOLATE CAKE

1 cup hot mashed potatoes, not seasoned
1 cup lukewarm water
2/3 cup soft margarine
2 cups white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
4 eggs
2 cups flour
3/4 cup cocoa
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350°F . Prepare cake pan (tube pan) by lightly greasing & then dusting with flour. Whisk water into well mashed potatoes until a smooth mixture is formed. Cool to lukewarm.

Beat margarine & sugar with electric mixer until combined. Add vanilla & beat 2 minutes at medium speed. Add 2 eggs and beat until blended. Add remaining 2 eggs. Beat at medium speed until blended. Sift together dry ingredients & stir to combine. At low speed, add 1/3 of the sifted dry ingredients, alternately with half the potato mixture, until all is blended.

Fold in chocolate chips. Turn batter into prepared pan. Bake in over for about 55 minutes. Cool on rack. Top with confectioners’ sugar.

Enjoy!”

11. Carnitas!

“There was a carnitas recipe on Reddit not long ago… tried it, even went to a special grocery store for Mexican coke since the recipe is different than typical American Coke… it was heavenly. And so inexpensive. And freezes so well. Three criteria for a great bulk recipe that makes your life easier, your wallet richer, and your soul happier.

Edit to add recipe from original post. If you want to find it, its on r/slowcooker

Inspired by /u/Lalalaraee !

4 pounds (or 2 kg) pork butt (or shoulder)

3-4 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon pepper

1 tablespoon dried oregano (or Mexican oregano)

1 tablespoon ground cumin

1 large brown or white onion, cut into wedges

8 cloves garlic, smashed

2 limes, juiced

2 large oranges, juiced (or 3/4 cup natural orange juice)

3/4 cup Original coke (Mexican coke is ideal)

2 bay leaves

Combine everything and cook on low for 8-10 hours. Don’t discard liquid!

Place on baking sheet, cover with 1 cup of liquid and broil. Watch closely!

The recipe recommended broiling for 15 minutes but I only broiled for 5, any longer and ours would have burned. Enjoy guys!”

12. A good bargain

“I did the chef thing for a while but didn’t like the end-game. Switched focus to bodybuilding but still have some ezmode recipes that even redditors can’t screw up.

Fish. Tilapia / Salmon / Whatev

Let sit till room temp. Put it on a sheet of foil.
Drizzle with olive oil.
Add lemon pepper and creole or season-all.
Pinch of parsely. Can be fresh, doesn’t matter.
Fold it up in foil, like a pouch, so no fluid will escape. Bake it at 425F (Make sure oven is preheated.) for 10-12 minutes depending on how big it is. 10 will be safe to eat for any size and 12 won’t overcook the smallest pieces so set your timer for 10 minutes and if it sits in the oven an extra 2 don’t stress.

Unwrap it and you’re good to go. Restaurants will charge a good $15-30 for this and you can make this for under $5.”

13. CHILI

“My mom’s super easy white chicken chili recipe, and my all time favorite. This recipe has won 3 different chili cookoffs and nobody knows just how easy and effortless it is.

1 cup sour cream

15 ounces chicken broth, maybe a little more depending on preference.

2 cups freshly shredded Monterrey jack cheese

1 small can green chilis

3 cans Great Northern beans (those white beans, whatever they’re called)

Chicken breast. I usually do 2 or 3 depending on the size.

How to make:

Cook chicken however you want, shred it or chop it, your choice. I usually just bake the chicken for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. My wife prefers shredded, I prefer chopped cuz ain’t nobody got time for that.

Drain the beans, rinse em if you want. I mash half of them, my mom doesn’t, do what you want here.

Once chicken and beans are done, throw them in a pan and add everything else on the list and mix it up, bring it up to a medium heat and just mix it around until it’s all hot, usually 20 minutes or so. The longer the better. Just cook it until your hunger decides enough is enough. When we do this chili we usually go the Crockpot route – add everything to the Crockpot and cook on low for anywhere between 3-9 hours.

Chili best enjoyed poured over fritos, with lime sprinkled over the top.”

14. Making it for decades

“Beef Wellington with mushroom pate. Never fails…been making it for decades!

2 filet mignons, about 1 inch thick

salt and pepper, to taste

1 recipe mushroom pate (see below)

1 pkg frozen puff pastry shells or dough

1 egg, beaten with 1 tablespoon milk or cream

Thaw puff pastry. Season filets with salt and pepper. On a board, roll out 2 puff pastry shells (or if using sheets, roll out the sheet) cutting a round big enough to encase the filets. Spread the pate on top of each filet. Wrap the filets in puff pastry, pate side down so the seams are on the bottom of each wrapped filet. Seal the edges with the egg mixture. Brush egg mixture all over pastry to give a glossy sheen. Roll out another sheet of pastry. Cut out shapes you desire and and decorate each wrapped filet. Brush again with egg mixture. Bake the wrapped filets on cookie sheet in a preheated 375 degree oven for about 20 minutes. The pastry will be golden brown. The filets will come out medium rare. If you are a well done lover, this will not work. Tenderloin is best under-cooked. It might get tough if you cook them till they are well done.Mushroom Pate:

Ingredients10 Tbsp butter, cut in pieces.2 1/2 c flour1/2 tsp salt1/3 c sour cream1 egg, slightly beaten4 Tbsp butter3 Tbsp finely chopped shallots1/2 lb finely chopped mushrooms2 Tbsp flour1 c heavy cream (whipping cream)1 Tbsp finely chopped chives1/2 tsp salt1/2 tsp lemon juice parsley sprigs, optional for garnish.

In heavy skillet melt butter. Add shallots cook for 4 minutes, stirring constantly. Shallots should not brown. Blend in mushrooms. Cook until all moisture evaporates, about 10-15 minutes. Sprinkle flour over mixture. Mix well. Stirring constantly, add cream and bring to a boil. When mixture thickens, reduce heat and simmer for a minute or 2. Remove from heat. Stir in remaining ingredients; cool.”

15. Moroccan food

“Shakshouka. Moroccan dish. It’s basically eggs poached in tomato sauce with veggies. Easy to make, delicious and flexible.

Add a generous amount of olive oil in a pan. Add thinly sliced onions. Saute. When they’re half-done, add thinly sliced red, yellow and green peppers (bell or horn, either works). Saute a bit more. Add diced garlic and pepper. This is the point where I add a splash of cold water to prevent burning and lower the heat to minimum.

Take a can of tomatoes and pour them in a bowl. Crush them with your hand and remove the harder parts (where the stem was attached). Add a pinch of salt and sugar (you need sugar to balance out the acidity of tomatoes).

When the water evaporates, pour in the tomatoes. Simmer for a minute or two, then mix in any herbs and spices you want – oregano, thyme and basil all work. Simmer for 10-20 minutes and enjoy the aromas. At this point, you can stop cooking and have an AMAZING pasta sauce. However, that is not shakshouka. You can also take a break at this point – say, if you’re prepping it for tomorrow, you can put it in the fridge until then.

In any case, when you want to eat, bring it to what’s effectively a boil, then reduce the heat. Use a tablespoon to make small holes in the sauce, then break in eggs. Salt to taste and a twist of black pepper. Garnish with chives, parsley and/or chili flakes. Serve with bread on the side.

If you want it hot, you can infuse the oil or just add chili peppers with regular peppers. You can also use whatever other veggies you have – for example, zucchini add thickness and volume, so you’ll want to use more water. :)”

The post 10+ Chefs Share Some of Their Favorite Recipes That You Can Make at Home appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ Flight Attendants Dish on the Most Ridiculous Passengers They’ve Ever Dealt With

From the outside, working as a flight attendant might look like a pretty cushy gig. You get to fly to exotic locales, meet interesting people and eat all the peanuts you want. But, in reality, they have to deal with a whole lot of nonsense and interact with folks at their absolute worst.

In these AskReddit stories, flight attendants (and people who’ve witnessed flight attendant horror stories) shared the most ridiculous and wildest passengers they’ve ever come in contact with.

Next time you fly, give them a break, huh?

1. Another slap in the face

“A lady with a very fake British accent basically behaved the same. And then she touched the female flight attendant who was probably half her weight. Next thing was the French flight attendant and her colleague tackling her and restraining her (with the rest of the crew helping). I got a bit involved (and almost spat on) as they called for medical personnel to make sure she wasn’t hurt or psychotic (she wasn’t).

Once landed she was released from her seat by a cop. Who she directly slapped across the face. Which is never a good idea. But a really bad idea in a predominantly muslim country. She got dragged out of the airplane.”

2. Drug mule

“My wife used to be a flight attendant.

They were coming back from Brazil and some dude had swallowed a bunch of drugs to smuggle. They ended up popping inside his stomach and when he realized it he was sticking his whole hand down his throat to try and claw it out. She said she still has nightmares to this day about his eyes and him screaming to save him. They had to restrain him and cover him with a blanket.”

3. He started crying

“Not a flight attendant, but last Christmas I was flying from Amsterdam to Seattle, and you know how you have to “have your window shades open, have your tray tables locked, your seat in an upright position and the arm rests down for take off and landing” ya, well this 50ish year old grumpy face of an old man literally did the opposite of all those things. (Was being a complete boob the whole 9 hour flight)

So when the attendant came by to tell him to get his stuff together, he pretended to be asleep and ignored her, so she shoved his seat forward and slammed his try table up. This guy starts screaming at her, flailing his arms, and STARTS CRYING, yes, crying because she was “rude.”

I’m literally just staring at this dude in pure disbelief.

Then when we finally land, they were like “please stay seated until the seatbelt sigh turns off.” This idiot stands up while we’re taxiing and starts to get in the overhead bin. So the same flight attendant comes by and in the sternest and most pissed off voice, says “sit. Down. Right. Now.” She slams the overhead bin closed and just returns to her seat.

That woman needs a raise.”

4. No more booze

“I was working on a return flight from Moscow to New York at the back of the plane. One of the guys smuggled on a 5th of jack Daniel’s and was drinking that along with the free drinks we passed out on international flights. None of us really cared that he had smuggled on the bottle and was drinking it with his friends but we thought it was stupid since we offered free booze.

Everything was fine until he asks the flight attendant for another drink and when she leaned over to put it on his tray, he licked the side of her neck. We confiscated his alcohol and shut down drink service for the rest of the flight after that.”

5. Outburst

“Not a flight attendant, but I’ll share. You know how as soon as you get to the gate and the seatbelt sign turns off people leap out of their seats to stand around, this takes it to a new level.

A man in his 50s or 60s is at the front of the plane with his elderly mother. As soon as the seatbelt sign turns off, he jumps up, unbuckles his mother and lifts her up.

Man: I NEED A WHEELCHAIR NOW!
Attendant: Sir, we just got to the gate, there isn’t a wheelchair here yet. Please put your mother down until the wheelchair comes.
Man: I NEED A WHEELCHAIR NOW!
Attendant: Sir, they are bringing the chair to the gate now, but it isn’t here.
Man: WHEELCHAIR!
Attendant: Sir, please put your mother down.
Man: WHERE IS THE WHEELCHAIR!

This continues on for another minute until the man finally loses his strength and breath.”

6. A veteran

“Getting ready to board a flight from California to Vegas (Vegas flights were notorious for being “eventful”) and we didn’t have a jetway. So this was a flight that had passengers come outside the terminal and board up the stairs. Lady comes out the door, puts down her bag, and starts pretending to be an airplane zooming around with her arms outstretched. Mmmmkay. Keeping an eye on her at this point. She comes on board, and has a cat with her in its carrier.

While we’re taking a seat count (for weight and balance before takeoff), the other FA and I notice she took the cat out, which isn’t allowed. We tell her to put the cat back and keep it secure for the flight. She complies, we take off, and before we’re even at 10k ft I see a cat head poke out into the aisle from her seat area. You fucking kidding me? I have to get up, while still in a very steep angled takeoff, and tell her to put the fucking cat back in its crate. Poor kitty was clawing at the seat and terrified. Luckily she behaved after that.

Another time I had a pair of sisters who started drinking, no big deal. First sister said the other was a nervous flyer. They were behaving so I let them order more drinks. They each had four, but still seemed fine. Come to find out the nervous sister had also taken Xanax before the flight – great. She comes to the back lavatory and has already wet her pants. Oh god. She asks if I can make her another drink, “but this time it needs to be Christmas tree!” Uhhhh, I think you’ve had enough for now. Rest of the flight is fine. We land and start to deplane and as I’m saying goodbye to passengers I hear a WHOMP. The hell?!

It was her. She totally ate shit and face planted in the middle of the aisle right before the galley. She gets up and there’s blood on her mouth, so I tell the captain to call medics down. They get her into a straight-back wheelchair and as they’re strapping her in she starts asking, “Are we in Denver?!” over and over. The medic goes, “No, were in Omaha and you need to hold still!” (And no, Denver was not where we left from either.)

I also had a mother and son who boarded, and our plane had a seat that was MEL’d. (Minimum Equipment List is for things that are broken but not anything that’s bad enough to keep you from flying the plane – so this seat would be fixed when we got back to our base that had maintenance workers.) This seat literally had no seat cushion, and had bright green tape over the armrests with a sign saying it was out of order. While I was still boarding passengers, the mother had taken the tape off, sat her son in the seat, and put the tape back on the armrests on top of his arms.

I looked at him, looked at her, and said, “Ma’am, he can’t sit there, the seat is out of service.” Of course I helped them find seats together somewhere else, but man, that was weird.

I have a million of these stories, lol.”

7. Annoying

“Not a flight attendant.

Was on a flight from the UK to Japan. As soon as we were cruising the guy diagonally in front of me reclines his seat. That doesn’t bother me: we all need to relax. But it’s a personal insult to the woman beside me (directly behind him). She immediately attacks his seat, quickly growing increasingly violent while the guy ignores her. Flight attendant gets involved. Somehow it’s this guy’s fault that the lady had cancer. She argued with the flight attendant for at least 30 mins before loudly giving up.

It was a long flight.”

8. Nice to meet you

“I was sitting next to a couple with a baby that was nursing who unlatched suddenly causing me to get squirted in the face with breast milk.

It was definitely an ice breaker.”

9. Weirdo radar

“I am a flight attendant for a major airline, have been with current airline for 7 years. I gotta say – over those years, my “weirdo” radar has gotten considerably more lenient.

you get a lot of run of the mill odd balls, or just people from different cultures who have different ways of doing things.

there is one person who sticks out in my mind as being absolutely a nutball. she was traveling with her ~8 year old daughter. to this woman everything was the end of the world. out of a certain drink? oh god how will I go on! the straw that broke the camels back was when our wifi was down momentarily and she got in my face screaming at me (we had two hours left until landing, and it was an overnight flight so she was definitely disturbing other passengers who were just trying to sleep) about how her life was ruined and it was all my fault the wifi was down.

her daughter started crying because the mom was being obviously psycho and the moms response was to slap her daughter, turn to me and threaten to have me fired. while she was screaming that I was going to “never have a job again” she started poking my shoulder. if there’s one thing you don’t do on an airplane, it’s touch the flight attendant especially in an aggressive manner. from then on we straight up ignored her, and told her only to ring her call button if there was a medical emergency.

we got to our destination, had the cops meet her just to escort her out of the airport so she didn’t stick around to yell at us any more. she decided not to go quietly. SHE SLAPPED THE COP ACROSS HIS FACE and from then on it was out of my hands. mostly I just felt bad for the daughter.”

10. How to get banned

“Had a flight get f-ed up so the airline upgraded my next flight to first class. It was a pretty long flight so sweet. I happen to sit next to a retired flight attendant and, being the pro she is, she orders us a bottle of Champaign. I didn’t know you could get the bottle on a flight but I’m not asking any questions.

Obviously I ask her for her horror stories. She’s like, “I can’t tell you names, but I’ve seen some very famous people get banned from airlines.” Not off the flight, from the whole airline.

How to get banned from an airline (drugs and booze help, but apparently some people don’t need those):

climb the food & beverage cart while it’s in use
accost flight staff repeatedly
let your kids climb on other passengers and blame the other passengers
DIY medical emergency via drug / alcohol abuse
incite a riot mid-flight
We had a blast that flight, she was lovely.”

11. Probably shouldn’t do that

“My sister in law is a flight attendant. And a very sexy one at that! She had a drunk guy offer to buy her pantyhose for $500. He wanted her to go in the bathroom and remove them and give them to him. She said she would have done it but didn’t want anyone she works with to notice her pantyhose were no longer on.”

12. Classy

“My fellow flight attendant had the pleasure of kicking Lil Pump off her flight last year (for those of you who are blessed enough to not know him, he is an obnoxious mumble rapper). Him and his whole entourage were screaming and throwing money during the flight and were super drunk and taking percocets. They diverted the flight and kicked them off. He so thoughtfully dedicated a verse about it in his song Gucci gang.”

13. Up to something

“Flight attendant here. Quick one hour flight, we board, uneventful. We get in the air and this guy is paranoid. Edge of his seat, looking around. He’s either on something or is a schizophrenic who didn’t take his meds. We (the crew) are doing our service thing, but watching this guy.

He calls me over several times, points out a different passenger each time and mumbles about them being “up to something.” I assure the guy everything is fine, make small talk with him, and try to land without incident. He keeps up the paranoia, this time grabbing a young girl who is trying to walk past him to go to the lav. Now he has to be supervised non stop since grabbing a teenage girl is a no no.

The Captain has been filled in that we’re keeping an eye on this guy, and it’s getting close to landing time. Just prior to touching down, he jumps up and rushes the exit. Me and another passenger, an off duty pilot who is quite buff, rush over to what we assume is a guy trying to pop the exit doors. All the passengers who have been watching the shenanigans go into f**k this s**t mode, and physically restrain the guy, while the plane is landing and taxiing.

Meanwhile the guy is yelling about some other passenger having a gun. We get to the gate, cops come on, and the guy attacks a cop and tries to flee across the tarmac, meanwhile I’m watching this happen in the galley from the galley. I google the guy’s name and of course he has a history. The gate agent I find out later had a problem with him at the originating airport too but never bothered to inform us about him. Company sent me a $25 gift card for dealing with all of that.”

14. A little unstable

“There was one guy who kept insistently pressing the help button before we even took off. “Just making sure it works,” he said. Then, during the presentation, he kept insisting I repeat myself. At once point, he shushed the women behind him that were talking to each other, supposedly because he couldn’t hear. Then, he asked “how do we know that the best people possible are in the emergency rows?” Yeah. Yeah, he did.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure that he suspected one of the passengers had murdered his wife. Never mind the fact that his wife was sitting right next to the man. Weirdo.”

15. Keep your mouth shut

“A little off topic but I felt the most ridiculous I’ve ever felt. I was flying from ATL-CDG on Delta. I like sitting in the last row especially on the 777. When I got to my seat I noticed the armrest between the two seats was broken and flopped around. As I worked in law enforcement it was my habit to let someone know if something was broken so I showed it to the flight attendant behind me.

Everyone boarded but the plane stayed at the gate for a while past departure time. About then the Captain of the plane came back to look at the seat. He asked me if I was ok sitting there. I was so embarrassed that I had been holding up departure. Staff was very kind and courteous. In the future I’ll keep my mouth shut unless it’s something that could endanger someone’s life.”

 

The post 10+ Flight Attendants Dish on the Most Ridiculous Passengers They’ve Ever Dealt With appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ People Share the Most Improbable Thing That Ever Happened to Them

Have you ever had a moment where something happened that you just couldn’t believe? Something that made you think, “What are the odds?” You hear people say that a lot, but it’s not usually about anything that improbable.

These folks on AskReddit, however, have had some extremely random things happen to them — some downright weird, lucky, random things.

See for yourself.

1. Stolen ID

“In 2012 I was mugged at gunpoint while walking home late at night. Lost my wallet and phone but fortunately was fine. Reported to police and never got my stuff back, no surprise.

4 years later I had moved 4500 km away and got a phone call from my sister. She was at a music festival and lost her ID. A guy camping next to her found it, noticed the address on her drivers license. He recognized it because it was the same as the address of the fake ID he had been using. He had my ID from my wallet that had been stolen 4 years earlier.

My sister handed him the phone and I was more amazed than anything, but I asked where he had got it from, and it sounded like it had been passed around a few people at the school he went to. I told him I didn’t want it back, but asked him to promise to not give it to anyone else, and not to steal my identity.

So far my identity hasn’t been stolen.”

2. Freeze!

“I had a police helicopter light me up in my car with the spotlight and red and blue lights. Pulled over and waited for what I assumed was a swat team coming to get me. Waited 10 mins and then the lights went off and it flew away.

The statistically improbable part is that I was selling weed and had just made a drop. So I thought I was done for. Nope…. Never found out why they lit me up.”

3. WOW

“I have a good one!

When I was still dating my wife, she was on vacation with her parents in Cancun and her flight was cancelled due to a storm. She had a hugely important job interview coming up and no one in the airport could get her on a flight home in time. She called me, frantic, from her hotel asking me to help.

So, I went on the airport website and found a single first-class ticket to fly to JFK that same night. I bought it, knowing it might not still be available after calling my then-girlfriend to confirm. $1,400 later, I call her hotel in Cancun only to find she and her parents have checked out and are nowhere to be found. This was quite a while ago, so they did not have cell phones with international plans.

Now freaking out more than a little, I call both the hotel and the airport multiple times trying to get in touch with her. No luck. So I Google to see if there are any other numbers listed for the airport, where I assume she must be, and I come across a crappy looking little website listing what it claims to be the phone numbers of a bank of pay phones in the airport.

I called the first number on that list of pay phones. It rings for a while, and someone picks up. It’s my wife’s voice. In the middle of a Mexican airport jam-packed with stuck travelers, she overheard that exact payphone ringing and happened to pick it up.

I passed her all the flight details, spoke again with the airport to confirm she could board. She got on the flight to JFK with 15 minutes to spare. She now tells this story as the day she decided to marry me.

Oh yeah, and she got the job.”

4. Seriously, what are the chances?

“I bought a family reunion T-shirt (not my family) at a thrift store outside Houston. Two years later at Northwestern University outside Chicago I was wearing the shirt, and I ran into a guy in the dining hall wearing the same shirt. He was also not in the family.”

5. Weird

“When I was in middle school I friend requested around 30 people with the same name as me. only like 4 accepted but around 6 or 7 years after that I was scrolling through Facebook and saw my name was tagged in something. The picture was at a basketball tournament I went to the previous weekend but when I looked at the picture while I was on the other teams beach the person that was tagged was playing against us.

The crazy part was we both travelled 500+ miles from different sides of the country to play in the same tournament on different teams in the same game and picture. And the only reason I saw the picture was I friended other people with the same name as me when I was 11.”

6. That’s…extremely bad luck

“Not me, a friend.

He was very depressed and became a hermit, picking up agoraphobic fears. He was convinced bad things happen when he leaves the house. Usually referring to injuries or mess sups that did happen to him.

Myself and others convinced him to take a college class just to get out of the house 3 hours a week. He already had a college degree, even from an ivy league school.

It was an elective class, only 15 people. The only thing he had to do for the class was a group project with two other people. One member never showed up, so he spent all his time with the other student.

The partner was a transfer from one of those good California schools. My friend bonded with him in class. Things were looking up for my friend’s morale.

3 days before they were set to present, the entire college shut down because of a murder. His partner was the culprit.

My friend was called in for questioning, but that’s it. The other student was found guilty and is now sitting out a life sentence.

If that wasn’t enough, we convinced my friend to take another class at a different college the following semester.

He became friendly with the kid that sat next to him. A month in, the other student went missing, then found dead. Authorities say it was a suicide.

We’re not making him take anymore classes. He hasn’t left the house since.”

7. Gramps?

“When at college we had old style (plug in) phones in each of our rooms. Never used them, didn’t even know the number. One day mine rang, I picked it up and some old guy was asking for a Phillip. I told him that, no, there wasn’t a Phillip here – but this old guys voice sounded really familiar, like really really familiar, like I was 90% sure, so I asked,

“Grandpa? *(Insert grandpa’s full name) Is that you?” (It was)

Turns out he was trying to call an old friend, and had been pressing 2 instead of 5 when dialing the number ie 2782 387 instead of 5785 387. And it happened to be the phone number to my room.”

8. See you in the sky

“My father and I are both airline pilots. Early one morning I am working a flight from Louisville to Detroit and he is going from Columbus to Chicago. It’s quiet on the radios at that early hour when ATC calls out some traffic for us to look for, and us to another aircraft. When I hear my dad answer the radio. Shortly after that, he says hi to me, and I reply with “Hi Dad.” Then we passed directly over his aircraft by 1000 feet. One of the coolest moments of my flying career to date.

Follow up: Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to know people find it as cool as I did. It was a pretty significant moment for me because I was a little a**hole when I was young and flying and our shared love for aviation was what really made my Dad and my relationship take off (pun intended).”

9. What are the odds?

“I was telling my coworkers about an interesting customer of mine from a month before, who looked like a hobo but bought a very nice product and talked about his international travels, to remind them not to judge customers on appearances only. Right as I finished the story, he walked in to buy another identical one as backup.

Cue a month or so later and I was telling the story again to a different coworker, with the update that he’d appeared as if summoned the last time… AND YET AGAIN he walked in right on the heels of my story about him, to buy again.

…he’s probably standing at the locked door of the closed store now since I told the story again….”

10. Magic wallet

“I lost my wallet one night partying in Redondo Beach. About a month later I was sitting down on some big boulders that make up the breakwater again in Redondo and I looked down by my feet and there was my wallet, sitting there water logged on one of the rocks. Nothing missing out of it. About a year later, the same wallet goes missing again. I’m like wtf is going on? No idea. So a month later, I’m in a random grocery store and the cashier sorta recognizes me and says “hey stay right here” She goes over to an office and comes back with my wallet. Nothing missing. Had all my cash still there.”

11. What just happened?

“Opened a beer while sitting around a bonfire, threw the cap in the fire and it bounced in the air off a log and landed on top of my friends beer. We just froze. I don’t even want to know the chances of making that happen again.”

12. Oh, hi there

“I went to a small university in the midwest, less than 6,000 students.

I bumped into an old classmate one day. On a train in southern Japan.”

13. Pain in the ass

“Someone with multiple felonies has my same birthday to the year and first, middle and last name as well as the same eye color and height in my state. It makes all background checks a big pain the ass as well as renewing any official documents like my drivers license.”

14. Old friends

“I run into the same Ukrainian guy every time I go to the Vegas airport. He was my roommate briefly in college and since then it’s happened three times.”

15. Same name

“First day of fourth grade a guy and I were confused because we both have the same name and last name, no middle name. Had to deal with that through elementary and middle school. He goes to the same college as me and back in the day we were pretty good friends.

An annoying thing is that we’d get each other’s papers, grades, Test scores handed to each other. Just from habit I know his old school ID number to this day, as well as his birthday lmao. Even a couple years back a guy sent me a message on FB saying that I’ll be his roommate but I live at home. I immediately knew he was talking about the other guy and gave the other guy’s account.”

The post 10+ People Share the Most Improbable Thing That Ever Happened to Them appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ People Reveal Their Guiltiest Secret Pleasure

We all have a guilty pleasure. It’s okay, there’s no shame in it. For me, it’s the fact that I started watching America’s Next Top Model as a way to share an activity with my wife, and now I’m more into it than she is!!

People on AskReddit also ‘fessed up to things they’ve been ashamed to admit they like. Honestly, some of them sound pretty great to me, so go figure.

1. Hey, whatever works

“I love using escort services.

Most of the escorts I’ve met have been great sex, and really great company. One of them showed me pictures of the house she was saving up money to buy back home in Poland. Another wanted to cuddle afterwards.”

2. Enjoy yourself!

“Picking my nose, like so deep inside all the way. Don’t judge me, I just enjoy doing that when nobody’s around.”

3. Just let it out

“As a metalhead, I’m always ashamed to admit I love Lady Gaga. She’s so talented and the way she controls her voice and gives it authority is really awing. At the same time this leads to other artists I’m ashamed of saying I’m a fan of but Lady Gaga is def the biggest.”

4. You’re not alone

“Very trashy romance books. The ability read them in sometimes less than one sitting is perfect for calming my brain.”

5. Nothing wrong with that

” “Fast food pizza,” i.e. Domino’s, Pizza Hut, etc.

It’s by no means great. But there are so many inconsistent-to-subpar New York-style pizzerias in my area (which is far from New York), and they all have the same recurring problems: greasy cheese, crust that’s too tough or too thin (ultra-thin crust that isn’t crispy is pretty gross), and occasionally a scorched pie from being baked in an oven that wasn’t cleaned properly.

Wood-fired oven pizzerias are becoming more popular, but I’m not a huge fan of the almost-burnt crust.

There’s one place near me that does Chicago-style pizza, but it’s both relatively pricey and feels more like I’m eating a casserole than a pizza. Good, but I can’t be eating anything that rich all the time.

So if I’m very tired, not feeling very adventurous, and just really craving pizza, I’ll usually order up from some chain joint. It’s not glamorous and it’s not the pinnacle of dining, but it’s consistent.”

6. Sure!

“My Chemical Romance has some genuinely good songs.”

7. Interesting…

“The sound of high heels.

Hate feet, hate heels, but the sound is just comforting and rhythmic that I like.”

8. Same!

“Eating food alone in my car.”

9. A common one

“Having someone else take care of me.”

10. Makes sense in a weird way

“I’ll never admit it to anyone in real life, but sometimes the reason why I’m so gung-ho when sh*t goes sideways is because I’d quite like to get hurt.

When I’m legitimately incapacitated is the only time I feel like I’m really allowed to switch off and it’s nice, sometimes, to get in to some clean, warm, dry gear and let somebody else look after you for a bit. No worries, no responsibilities, just…quiet.

I’d never do anything to get anyone else hurt, of course, but I’ll take risks with myself that, in all honesty, nobody with their head in a good place ever would.”

11. Harmless fun

“About once a week I go to my local laundromat and peel off the lint from their dryers.”

12. Challengers

“Welp, I’m a grown a** man who for some reason keeps on logging back in to get his butt kicked by 12 year olds on Fortnite. So there’s that.”

13. It was fantastic!

“Last year I got my appendix removed. I stayed 2 nights in the hospital, and it was fantastic. No responsibilities, nice nurses, good food (believe it or not). I got to take the whole week off work, and I swear it was the best week of my life. All I did was sleep, play video games, go on walks, and hang out with my cats.

Some days I find myself wishing to get in a car wreck. Not so bad that I’m seriously injured, but enough to get me at least another week off.”

14. No shame in your game

“Professional Wrestling.

Been a fan for close to 20 years, and I only feel comfortable telling my close friends about it.”

15. Tell me what to do

“Being subordinate. As someone who’s held management positions in every job I’ve had from the bottom to the top of the food chain, there’s nothing I’m more ashamed of loving more than being told what to do.”

Any of yours make this list?

The post 10+ People Reveal Their Guiltiest Secret Pleasure appeared first on UberFacts.

Woman Shames Her Engagement Ring on Reddit, Everyone Goes Nuts

Proposing marriage is one of the scariest things someone can do. It’s a moment that’s full of emotions, ideally a celebration of the love between two people. But when the bride-to-be finds the ring before her future fiance can pop the question, and she hates the ring instantly… that certainly complicates things.

Recently, a woman found her engagement ring stuffed into her boyfriend’s nightstand. She then proceeded to post a pic to a ring-shaming group online. The reaction on Reddit was less than sweet, and maybe for good reason…

The woman offered up a roast and an “EWWWWW” and asked Reddit users how to “tactfully say no” because she wanted something different. I think we passed “tactfully” the moment this picture was posted.

 

Photo Credit: Reddit.com

Reddit users spun out in different directions, from offering advice:

Photo Credit: Reddit.com

Or lightening the mood:

Photo Credit: Reddit.com

To defending her:

Photo Credit: Reddit.com

While a majority tore her apart:

Photo Credit: Reddit.com

Photo Credit: Reddit.com

Photo Credit: Reddit.com

It probably goes without saying, this marriage will be off to a “rock”-y start.

The post Woman Shames Her Engagement Ring on Reddit, Everyone Goes Nuts appeared first on UberFacts.