Category: reddit

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People Can’t Stop Debating the Number of Times to Say “Chugga” Before “Choo Choo”

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. We bring you a matter of vital importance today, and it’s about choo-choos.

Specifically, someone in the “Too afraid to ask” subreddit shared a rather disturbing tale about their kid’s preschool teacher.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Well, that immediately sparked a rather heated debate on the appropriate number of “chuggas” to say before “choo-choo.”

Photo Credit: Reddit

It wasn’t long before all of Reddit was chanting in their rooms, trying to determine the answer.

Photo Credit: Reddit

A lot of folks went with two, possibly inspired by the popular children’s book by Kevin Lewis.

Photo Credit: Amazon

Some people even started diving into music theory to determine the acceptable amount.

Photo Credit: Reddit

I think we can all agree that 32 “chuggas” with no “choo choo” is just too much, and just a single “chugga” is an absolute travesty.

The number of “chuggas” and “choo choos” must be balanced – too many “chuggas” and the train might be too pressurized, but too many “choos” and the train wouldn’t even leave the station! Duh.

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15 Couples Who Went from Married to Divorced Way Too Fast

These situations are always extremely uncomfortable. Not only for the couple actually imploding before your eyes, but for all the bystanders.

And that’s where you come in. These sordid AskReddit tales all detail stories of people witnessing marriages symbolically coming to an end.

Hang on tight!

1. 6 long months

“My friend married this woman after years of dating. They were together about 6 months, then on their first Christmas, he got her a present and she got him nothing. Later that night she left their house and didn’t come back until the next morning.

Apparently she had made an account on some dating site on Christmas, met a guy, and slept with him that night. She came clean the next day, but that was the end of their 6 month marriage.”

2. Oh my…

“Not sure how long it took the divorce to actually happen, but I went to a wedding where the bride didn’t go home with the groom afterwards. There wasn’t any cheating, she just decided she didn’t want to be a military wife. They were together before he enlisted, so I think part of it was that she wasn’t ready to move away from her family. It just sucked that she waited until that day to tell anyone.”

3. Holy sh*t

“Next door neighbor got married. Less than 2 months later she moved out, said he was abusive and a drunk. A couple of weeks later he shot and killed their neighbor through the front door after an escalating feud involving the neighbor’s dog getting shot with a bow and arrow.”

4. No sexting, please

“I went to a wedding where the bride got drunk and the groom picked up her phone and saw that she was sexting a coworker during the entire wedding… He told the officiant to not file the paperwork. Great reception though.

Edit: This occurred at the end of the reception as they were leaving to go to the honeymoon suite (the story is she was very drunk and her phone kept getting notifications so he picked it up). They did not go on their honeymoon and they returned the gifts to everyone. The guests weren’t told about what happened for a couple weeks as the bride was trying to save the relationship. I was also not privy to the legality of the nuptials not being submitted to the city clerk, so I can’t help on that front.”

5. A special day

“My wife’s family’s neighbor’s daughter got married and threw a huge wedding day bash like spent 50-70 grand. Then not even 2 weeks later got divorced. She had been cheating on her husband throughout the engagement but still wanted her ‘special day’. I heard later on that she had asked her mom if she had to live with her husband after they got married.”

6. Sad all around

“A relative of mine was forced into a shotgun wedding. The bride had a miscarriage, so they got divorced a month later.”

7. Meth is bad for you

“The husband had an unsolicited outburst at a family dinner, “I KNOW YOU GUYS KNOW I DO METH! AND YOU NEED TO BACK OFF ABOUT IT!” wife didn’t know; her dad didn’t know; nobody knew.”

8. Time to fly in the lawyers

“Some friends, who had been dating for a few months, got married in Las Vegas as sort of a drunken joke. The girl found out she would lose a lot of her trust fund because of being married. A gaggle of 4 lawyers were flown in and got a very quick retroactive annulment. Marriage lasted 4 days, except legally it was declared to have never existed at all. They dated for 3 more years then broke up.”

9. What did he expect?

“They got married in the October, she left him just after Christmas the same year. She was bored.

I don’t know what he expected really, she’d cheated on him when they were engaged too and he’d forgiven her.”

10. One annulment, coming up

“Years and years ago, my uncle’s girlfriend planned a wedding and invited everyone and didn’t tell him until the week of. I don’t know the whole story about why she did it but he went through with it and quietly got it anulled and broke up with her.”

11. Not a good idea

“I know two couples who got married for the sole purpose of having sex together. Both marriages lasted a year combined.”

12. Her last line is a zinger!

“I was a bridesmaid at a Mormon wedding (despite not being a Mormon myself.) The wedding was rushed because the parents had interstate travel coming up and didn’t wish to leave their respective children (late teens/ early 20s) without supervision while they were away. For fear of lost virginities.

I have some makeup I bought for the wedding that lasted longer than the marriage…”

13. Probably not the best idea?

“I work as a clerk at a Family Courthouse.

Bride f*cked the DJ. At the reception.

New record for the office pool.”

14. Cheater

“A relative of mine had a marriage last less than 3 weeks. They had been together for a couple years and even went to premarital counseling at their church for a few months to get ready. Their wedding was super lavish and it was clear a lot of prep and money went into it. At their wedding they announced they were expecting their first child.

Everything seemed great. Unfortunately the whole thing blew up when the wife discovered he had been cheating on her for almost their entire relationship with multiple women. She found this out while in a foreign country on their honeymoon, 4 months pregnant. I know from her mom that she had complications in her pregnancy that they attribute to the stress of all of this.”

15. Never seen again

“My dad and his second wife made it like not even four months before she left and I never saw or heard from her again. She said she was going to give me an old Nintendo 64, she never did.”

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20+ of the The Shadiest “It’s Not What it Looks Like!” Stories

Every now and then, the good people of Reddit start discussing things that make me feel a lot better about myself.

This was one of those occasions.

#1. Uh huh, sure… STALKER

“About 5 1/2 years ago, I dated a guy for like 2 months. While I was dating him, I was in the process of house-hunting. I’d mentioned that the neighborhood he was living in, particularly, was one I had been hoping to buy in. Our relationship fizzled, and we mutually split. Fast-forward a couple months, and a house was on the market across the street and a couple down from his. I hated the awkward fact it was so close to his, but I loved the house itself, and like I’d said, I really wanted to buy in that neighborhood and had been having crap luck.”

“So I did what is normally recommended to anyone to do when looking at new homes… I visited in the evening to check out noise/activity levels. At no point did I contact the guy because we hadn’t dated that long and I didn’t even know if I’d ultimately end up living there. So I was parked at the house I liked when my ex suddenly walked out of his house taking his roommate’s dog for a walk. I freaked… realized how bad it might look, like maybe I was stalking him or something, and I wasn’t sure if he’d seen me or my car, so I froze as I wondered whether to just do nothing and hope he didn’t see, or try to explain myself.”

“I opted for the latter. I rolled down my window and awkwardly was like, “heyyyyy…….” and explained to him that I was thinking of buying that house. He seemed cool about it, but who knows what was really going through his mind.

I did ultimately buy the house and still live there, and he still lives across the street. Fun times!”

#2. “I put it between the front seats of my dad’s car…”

“This happened in high school, shortly after I started dating my first “boyfriend”. At the time, I would often wear a camisole with a built-in bra layered under a V-neck tee. One day, I was wearing this outfit but wanted to go shopping after school for other shirts, so I brought a regular bra with me to try stuff on.”

“After I got out of the store, I for some reason didn’t want to put the bra in my bag so I put it in the armrest compartment between the front seats of my dad’s car, and of course immediately forgot it was there.”

“The next day, my parents were getting ready to go somewhere. They had left the house, but moments later my mom barged back in, demanding to know why I was “taking off my clothes in the car”. I frantically tried to explain the clothes shopping story, but to this day I’m not sure she bought it.”

#3. “Oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep…”

“Sister came home to her boyfriend and our brother laying his head in his lap (her bf was holding his head in his lap and stroking his head and back) she was confused and as soon as she opened her mouth her bf turned around “oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep.” Apparently my brother got food poisoning and was throwing up constantly, her bf showed up to return some things she left at his house. So being* him, he helped our brother get some medicine from the store, change, and stroked his head on the couch till he fell asleep (it took a while since he was always getting up to throw up). We all laugh about it now :))”

“Edit: OKAY! To clear up some confusion, me and my sister are both 16, her boyfriend is 17, and my brother is 19 going on 20 here soon! Also! My brother is shorter than her bf (bro: 5’9, sbf: 6’1). This happened like 3 months ago.

Edit2: and my brother and sbf are both Bi, but sbf has only ever dated 1 guy years ago and my brother is like basically gay at this point lmfao, and for all those asking, they consider each other brothers”

#4. I CAN EXPLAIN!

“I work at a school portrait company. I retouch thousands of images and sometimes I need to retouch inappropriate things. Well this high school girl was wearing a see through shirt and I had to retouch out her nipples. I was in the office by myself as a 20 something year old man when a girl walks in and sees me zoomed in on this high school girls see through shirt… I CAN EXPLAIN! I told her I’m not a creep, I’m just retouching her shirt so you can’t see her nipples… It was very awkward but since she worked as a photographer she completely understood once I explained.”

#5. “Those aren’t mine!”

“Mine’s a little different. I was at a corporate function, and noticed that the president of the company was trying to clean his glasses with a paper napkin. Being the well-prepared person I am, I always keep a microfiber cloth in my pocket – I wear glasses, too, and I prefer to actually clean the glasses, not just smudge the oils around. I digress.”

“So I reach into my pocket, grab a cloth, and hand it to him. And he responds with a confused “Huh.”Now, at this time I also have a son who is going through potty training, so I tended to keep spare clothes; usually in my backpack, but also in the pockets of my overcoat.”

“I look over, and the president of my company is kind of staring at the (unused, thank God) pair of Jake and the Neverland Pirates underwear, boys size small, I just handed him. And of course, my immediate response wasn’t to laugh, wasn’t to say “oh, those are my kid’s backup pair” … no, my response was to immediately say “those aren’t mine!” Which was 1) obvious, and 2) not guilty sounding at all.”

#6. “wait… I can explain”

“I was practicing anatomy for drawing of course. So… I had to look up naked models and stuff. No big deal. Just to get the human form down. Nothing too weird. I get done sketching for the day and went to bed. Over the weekend I was animating and my dad walked in my room to ask me something. Well… he goes “what the hell?” And picks up a drawing. I was like “what?” And he sees these drawings… I legit said the line “wait… I can explain” and he walked away laughing.”

#7. Peeping perv

“One of my friends was in a cycling accident commuting home from class one night and wound up in the ER. She needed someone to make sure her dog, Fox, is taken care of and tells me she left her bedroom window unlocked so I should be able to get in the house. Now Fox is semi familiar with me but I still don’t like the idea of crawling in a window and facing a pretty big dog unannounced.”

“So I’ve got the window in the alley cracked and I’m trying to call Fox and let her know that I’m there and coming in. I’m saying stuff like “Hey Foxy girl, Foxy Lady etc etc” meanwhile the upstairs neighbor hears all of this while she is sitting on the toilet and thinks someone is doing some perv peeping tom stuff looking into windows. Luckily it was all cleared up pretty quickly as we were all college kids that saw each other in and out fairly often, but it almost took a bad turn.”

#8. “Sexy” girl cats

“A couple years ago, I started a new job. As a result, I bought a house. My wife and I own a cat and we were tired of the cat box making one of the restrooms smell bad. We ended up putting a cat door in the door that leads to the garage and putting his box out there. This way the cat can piss & shit as he pleases without making the house smell bad. We noticed that when he did his business, he would stare intently right Into the wall. As a joke, my wife and I decided to get some cat pin up pictures on the part of the wall he stares at. So that night, I find a few pics of “sexy” girl cats online. I found Pepe le pew’s GF, Felix the cats gf and a couple others. All of them in compromising poses or with a seductive look on their face (nothing pornographic).”

“The next day at work, I tried sending them to the color printer. I was especially careful as the color printer was in the main office where there was nothing but girls working. I went in to make sure there was no one near it before going back to my office and sending it through with a few other documents I needed. Sure enough, I walk back into the office to grab my “papers” and one of the older ladies in the office is standing there looking at it with an awkward but shocked look on her face.”

“My jaw dropped as I tried explaining it to her. It came out something along the lines of “its for my cat, I swear!” Well, she wasn’t really believing me, and just walked away. I never really had the same friendly relationship with her after that. I guess she just thought I was some weirdo, which I don’t blame her. Oh well, the cat loves his pictures and admires them every time he drops a deuce.”

#9. Always check your pockets…

“I got super high and drunk one night with my best friend and his gf. They stayed at my house. My friend is a loud snorer so his gf ended up sleeping on my couch. My best friend in my guest room upstairs.”

“At 4 am I woke up still pretty drunk and high. For some reason I felt the need to check social media but couldn’t find my phone. Drunk and high Me decided to go downstairs to find my phone.”

“Without realizing his gf was on the couch, I reach down by a pillow to check for my phone. She wakes up, and I’m left there having to explain at 4am why I’m grabbing her face.

I don’t think she believes my story to this day and I look like a rapist. My phone was in my pocket the whole time.”

#10. A straight-laced mistake

“I was volunteering at a pool for my instructor’s certification. The girl I was with was really thirsty and asked if I would mind getting her a Powerade from the vending machine since she couldn’t leave her class. She told me where her wallet was so I could get her change. Another staff member walked in while I was taking the money from her wallet. I was the most straightlaced, nervous kid on Earth, lol. I explained. She either believed me or checked with the lifeguard later, but either way, the first girl got her Powerade and the pool hired me later, so the second girl knows I’m not a thief. ?”

#11. Words are important

“In the beginning months of a relationship, I was staying over at my girlfriend’s apartment. We were in bed, and the only light in the room came from a bright lamp on the end table, on her side of the bed. Now, in addition to being a bit sensitive to bright light, I have a lazy eye that makes it hard to focus on things that are really close. Things like my girlfriend, at that particular moment.”

“So naturally, I asked, “Could you turn off the light? You’re really hard to look at.” I don’t know which of us had the bigger look of horror on our faces.

EDIT: My first silver! And I came soooooo close to not posting, thinking it wasn’t quality enough a comment.”

#12.”It was a dog bite!”

“A female friend of mine who is a Police Officer was on a welfare check and was bit by the property owners dog. She was about a mile from my house when bit and because I am an EMT she decided to call me to see if I could inspect where she was bitten and advise if she needed to go to the hospital. She show up at my house and limps into the kitchen telling me the dog bit her just below her left butt cheek on the rear of her upper thigh.”

“I was worried that the bite had broke the skin and she would need to get it bandaged and possibly get a rabies shot. I told her that I would have to take a look at the bite to help her so, she takes off her duty belt and pulls her pants down to around her knees to expose the bite area. It didn’t look too bad but there were two spots where the dogs teeth had broke the skin. I told her I would bandage it up so she could make the 20 minute drive to the clinic. I was just about to bandage her leg when my wife walks through the door.”

“There I am with one of our female friends, standing in our kitchen, in her police officer uniform, pants down (she was wearing a thong), I was sitting so basically her ass was in my face, and my hands on her upper thigh/butt. We both had the deer in the headlight stare as we realized how bad this must have looked to my wife. We then both shouted out in unison “It was a dog bite!”.”

#13. “…it was a year before I went around for dinner.”

“I had recently started dating this girl. We had been together maybe 3 months, and I had yet to do the “meet the parents” thing. I had been putting it off as her Dad was this fearsome Scottish dude who was known for his temper.”

“Anyhow, at my 19th birthday party (as so many do at this age) things got out of control. It was supposed to be a garden party, but it got changed to a garage party when the weather let me down. It was slinging it down. As my parents didn’t want a mess, everyone was supposed to take off shoes when coming in the house for the toilet. As you can imagine, after everyone breaks the piss seal, few lads can be bothered with all that just for piss. So we are all going through my back gate and using the grass around the corner.”

“This also becomes the outdoor smoking spot, and the combined foot traffic in the rain does not take long to turn this into a quagmire of mud and piss.”

“My girlfriend takes a massive swig of vodka. Mistake. This is not staying down. She dashes outside to vomit. She hurls up everywhere in this mud then promptly falls over in it. She is so hammered she then rolls over onto her front to stand back up. She now looks like the swamp thing, and she is going downhill fast. She is under strict instructions to be home by midnight, and it is now 11pm and she can barely stand. This is a small town with no Taxi company, and the 1 mile walk across town with someone in this state is not happening.”

“As quite a lot of people are staying over, my first gambit was to ring her home and try to get her permission to stay over too. Of course it was her Dad who answered. That request went down like a shit sandwich and was given a very firm “NO!” from the Dad who then just hung up as the conversation was over. Shit.”

“So I have to ring back and sheepishly explain that she is too far gone to move under her own power. He will need to come and get her.

“FINE!” [Hangs up again]”

“It was then I knew I really fucked up. She was still in Swamp Thing mode and her dad would be here in no time. We had to clean her up. We had already gotten her out of her jumper. With her still throwing up in the toilet, I explained I was going to lend her some of my jeans. In my drunken brain this was an awesome plan. We just had to wait for her to stop being sick. This didn’t happen. Panic is rising.”
“This was more than a one person job. I then got her best friend to help her out of her jeans. I did not hear the Dad arrive as the front door was open from other people leaving. He just walked straight in. I guess someone directed him upstairs as he walks into the bathroom, just in time to see myself and Lucy peeling the jeans down over his daughter’s arse as she was still being sick in the toilet. Time stopped.

Had I asked anyone else to help I would probably be dead. It was a year before I went around for dinner.”

#14. She admonished me in front of the class…

“4th grade. All of the kids in my class had figured out that they could get up to sharpen their pencils whenever they wanted – a way to break-up the monotony I suppose. Several students abused this privilege and I didn’t want to be counted among the abusers, as Mrs. Spangler had become vocal about this.”

“During an assignment, my pencil was dull to the point that the wood was scratching on my paper. I decided to use my thumbnail to break the wood away from the tip and expose the graphite so that I didn’t have to sharpen it. As I was doing this, my teacher walked by and exclaimed, “You’re trying to break your pencil!” I didn’t have time to establish a defense before she admonished me in front of the class.

I still think about it sometimes… I’m 37.”

#15. “Are you a lesbian”

“During lunch at my school everyone would be in the lunchroom, it was a small school so pretty much everyone ate at the same time. A friend of mine and I would skip lunch and spend the time just running around the school doing whatever we wanted. One day we were playing like an extreme form of hide and seek all around the school and she ran into the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and stepped up on the toilet seat and peeked over the stall. I had planned on being like “ha! Got you!” But it wasn’t my friend in the stall. The girl assumed I was trying to be a pervert and went and told a teacher. I got the “are you a lesbian” talk from a very conservative teacher at a very country school and the girl went around telling everyone I was a weirdo and that I tried to watch her pee.”

#16. Church lady

“I was really tall in Jr High. One of my best friends at the time was pretty short, and we had a running joke where he would use a little kid voice whenever standing next to me, because I was so much taller.”

“So one day we’re playing tag around my church building (grew up in a conservative house) after most people had already left, and my buddy runs into the bathroom and locks himself in a stall. But I was taller than the wall of the stall, so I pressed up against it and looked down at him and said in my best creepy voice “You can’t hide from me!” and he used his little-kid voice to say “Oh no! Somebody please help!”

“Of course, one of the old church ladies was standing in the doorway behind us, watching the whole thing with horror. Turns out she was there to clean, and caught us at exactly the wrong time.”

#17. “Well, jump out the window…”

“Oh man. Back in my early 20s, Around mid-2000s when Jackass was all the craze i went to a house party. A girl there took a big liking to me and kept coming onto me pretty strong. I was in a relationship and kept turning her down. I went into the parents’ bedroom to take a call when she came into the room and tried to kiss me. I said no and she started to undress, I told my friend on the other end of the phone what was going on and he just said ‘well, jump out the window’”

“20 year old, drunk me thought this was a great idea, Just like CKY/ Jackass! So I opened the window and jumped out onto the grass below, Rolled and walked away unhurt, The next thing I know there is a dull thud and semi-Naked crazy chick was laying on the ground, She had jumped out after me, hit the earth below, slipped and fallen backwards hitting her head on the ground.”

“People inside the party heard the noise and came running out the door of the house to find me standing over a semi-conscious, half naked girl….”

#18. “No! Wait it’s a gun tool thing, I swear!”

“Years ago I was dating this girl, and I had just acquired a black powder gun. Now for those of you who don’t know, one of the parts on many of the black powder guns is called a nipple, and usually require a wrench to get off. Mine didn’t have this wrench so I punched in “Ruger nipple wrench” into Google and went downstairs to grab a drink.

When I come back into her room, she’s looking at my laptop, wide eyed and nervously says “Ummm, I don’t know if I would be into that…” Cue my reaction of “What? No! Wait it’s a gun tool thing I swear!”

#19. “Assault with a deadly wiener…”

“As a broke college kid, one of my go-to meals was a $0.69 chilli dog from 7-11, which was 4 blocks from my dorm. I had no car. One winter’s night, I bundled up in my heavy coat, gloves. and beanie and went to get myself one.”

“So I’m heading back, holding my foil-wrapped dinner, and decide to run (to get out of the cold faster.) Next thing I know, a cop car screeches to a halt in front of me, and I’m ordered to the ground. Spent the next couple minutes explaing to NJ PD why I’m running out of a convenience store, at night, in a “ski mask”, waving a shiny metal object.

TL/DR: Suspected assault with a deadly wiener.”

#20. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER.”

“My friend Anna was in her 20’s but she looked really young, easily as though she could be a minor. She had too much to drink at the bar so I started carrying her home on my shoulders as she was having a really hard time walking. As we got to her house I went to let her down and she fell off and smacked her head on the fence. She was wearing a skirt and as she fell it went up to her waist. I’m trying to get her to come-to so she can go in her house when an old lady walks out on her porch and starts screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT LITTLE GIRL, WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES.”

“I try to calmly explain that this is her house and I’m just a friend trying to get her home but she just keeps shouting, “WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER.” She won’t come to and I realize just how bad the situation looks, so I tell the old lady we can call an ambulance. As I tell my friend we are about to call an ambulance, she immediately comes to and fixes her skirt and stands up. The old lady says, “oh you were right, I guess she had clothes the whole time.”

#21. “That tickles my penis.”

“I babysit for extra income and took a four year old boy I was caring for to the park. I was pushing him on the swing and he pipes up, “That tickles my penis.” I have NO idea why – he’d been swinging for a good 15 minutes before announcing that and I’m not sure if he just shifted his weight in the swing, or that was the only way he knew to describe feeling butterflies in his stomach from the swinging motion, but I was legit worried he might tell his parents something like, “tweri12 tickled my penis on the swing”. I’m a woman – the fear would be magnified ten fold if I were a man.”

#22. “Daddy likes to come into my room naked…”

“When my daughter was around 3 years old, she casually told my wife that “Daddy likes to come into my room naked and play with me.” It took a minute to realize what she was talking about. A few weeks prior to that, she had woken up screaming. Bad dream, I’m guessing. I jump out of bed wearing nothing but boxer briefs to see what the problem was. To get her to stop crying, I tried to make her laugh. Luckily, my wife believed me.”

Yep. I just checked again, and I’m still lookin pretty good next to these fools.

Thanks again, reddit!

The post 20+ of the The Shadiest “It’s Not What it Looks Like!” Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Bilinguals Share Their Most Awkward “I Know What You Said” Stories

Anyone who grew up speaking more than one language has likely been in a situation where some unsuspecting stranger around them was speaking one of the languages they know, allowing them to potentially hear a whole lot of stuff that stranger thought was private. It’s even worse when they’re talking about you.

The moments below kind of run the gamut, but they all have one thing in common – they should teach us to be nice. And in the absence of that, to be careful.

#1. Oh, shit.

“I’m an American and English-German bilingual. My high school hosted some exchange students from Austria. My family hosted a student. We were the only German-speaking host family. None of the exchange students except the one living at my house knew I know German. Americans are notoriously bad at foreign language, so the Austrians assumed I was monolingual.

Anyway, I was hanging out with some of the exchange students and other hosts, and one of the Austrian kids told a joke to the other Austrians in German. I laughed. He asked, “Why are you laughing? You’re just laughing because we’re laughing?” My exchange student said, “No, she knows German.”

“Ja, ich verstehe alles,” I confirmed.

“Oh shit, now we can’t trash talk the Americans anymore.””

#2. She looked absolutely humiliated.

I’m fairly tattooed and I was working in retail, in a shoe shop. I was serving a very rude woman and her daughter, both of whom clearly thought they were better than me, and every time they asked for shoes they told me (in English) that I was very slow to fetch them and bad at my job (I was only on like my third shift). The atmosphere turned pretty sour because obviously they were being rude and it annoyed me, and as I was boxing up the shoes they wanted, the mother turned and said to her daughter something like ‘don’t ever get tattoos, this is the kind of person that has them, working in retail with absolutely no brains and tattoos reflect that! bla bla bla’ in Italian. I simply replied ‘non sono d’accordo, ma grazie’ [i disagree, but thank you]. She looked absolutely humiliated and quickly left!”

#3. Those were all true.

“I wasn’t the bilingual one, but my bilingual friend was really the star of the show. I am a straight guy and my bilingual friend is gay. We were in college for summer school 20+ years ago and everyone taking classes stayed in the same old dormitory. It was a school with a lot of international students who had even greater representation in the summer because they typically didn’t fly home for just three months. My friend had a computer, I didn’t, so he told me I could go into his room any time and use it if he didn’t need it at the time.

My friend was white, but had spent a number of his childhood years in Japan and spoke Japanese like a native. We were talking and walking down the hall toward his room and two Japanese exchange students began talking to one another in Japanese, looking at us and snickering. My friend looks over and starts dressing them down in absolute perfect Japanese and they are horrifically embarrassed. They began profusely apologizing and hurriedly waking away. I turned to my buddy, What did they say?”

“They were making some disparaging remarks about your sex life, so I told them they were wrong and not to be rude,” he said. Then he quipped, “They were making some disparaging remarks about my sex life, too, but those were all true.””

#4. Pretty freaking great.

“It’s a reverse of this actually. I didn’t know they spoke my language!

I asked my mom in Vietnamese if I could have the Mexican ice cream near checkout (that shit…is the best thing ever) & was begging her since she thought I had too many sweets. This older white man turns around & says “it’s pretty good ice cream!” in our language. Me & my mom blankly stared at him in awe.

It was the first time I’ve ever heard a white man speak Vietnamese. It wasn’t flawless, but I could understand him! It was actually pretty freaking great. He noticed our faces & was just like “Yeah my wife’s family does the same” ?”

#5. It was lovely.

“I worked as a part time clothing model for a while in an arab country, i am arab but i dont look like it apparently. Anyways, we had to walk around this convention and show the clothes, wearing heels on a carpet floor. I was young(around 16) i didnt know how to walk really well in heels yet and the carpet floors didnt help either, the women there didnt know i spoke arabic and started making fun of how I’m walking, i went up to them and asked them where the bathroom was in arabic they looked so surprised and embarrassed at the same time it was lovely.”

#6. I would pay to have a picture of his face.

“Teacher here. Had a student with serious issues concerning authority. Essentially, he would cuss out nearly anyone who tried to tell him what to do with every name in the book. One day, he thought he’d get creative and starting swearing in Spanish to avoid consequences and called me basically the equivalent of a wrinkly ball sack. Long story short, I would pay to have a picture of his face when I replied, in fluent Spanish, that he was going to call his mother and repeat what he had just said.”

#7. Both their faces dropped.

“I look mixed. I’m full Cambodian but I’ve been confused with being mixed with Black. When I was 7 I went with my mom to her doctor in Long Beach, which is mainly Cambodian populated in that area. My mom went inside her doctor’s office, leaving me in the waiting room. As soon as the office door closed, these two old Cambodian ladies start talking shit in Khmer saying how she’s a single mom (she’s not), and how she had a Black baby(me) and that’s such a shame bc she made my life miserable. They also said my skin color was ugly and I had a Black nose, etc. I just sat quietly, looking at them until one realized “Oh snap, maybe she understands Khmer.” And asks me “Hey, do you know your dad?” And I just replied back in our language, “Yeah and he’s at home waiting for us. And we have the same skin color so that means yours is ugly too.” Both of their faces dropped it was great and they had the audacity to tell my mom that I was rude when she came out.”

#8. A brighter shade of red.

“At a bar with a Russian buddy of mine. Grew up there and moved to the states when he was 12 or so. He adapted to English really well so he has no accent whatsoever. Both of the bartenders were Russian (you could tell by the accents) and were having a conversation. Friend looks to me and says “Damn, they’re talking some mad shit right now”. I asked him about who and he said the other dude across the bar in the blue shirt. I asked what they were saying and he said they were just roasting him in general. I asked if they said anything about us and he said not yet but would say something back in Russian if they did. They ended up not saying anything about us but right before we left, he said to them in Russian “You should speak a bit nicer of your customers”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someones face turn a brighter shade of red than that.”

#9. The look of horror.

“Late to the party but once when I was younger I went to the park with my sister. We look very white and no one would know both of us to speak Mandarin fluently unless we told them.

Some money must’ve fallen out of my sisters pocket and in Mandarin we hear a mother talking to her daughter and telling her not to let us know we dropped money so that they could pick it up after we left.

Both of us turned around straight away and my sister picked up her money while both of us gave them dirty looks and we changed our conversation to Mandarin. The look of horror on both of their faces will forever be burned into my head.”

#10. His friends had a big laugh.

“I’m a white guy who lived in Senegal for 11 years. As such I learned quite a bit of Wolof, the local language. 99% of white people here don’t because they aren’t there that long. Anyways there were a few times that people were talking about me or to me in Wolof without knowing I understood them. Once there was a group of teens at the beach and one of them greeted me with a Wolof insult for white people (“red ears”), but he said it in a “nice” way, as if I wouldn’t know he was insulting me. He kept talking to me in Wolof and I responded in French that I don’t understand, while in actuality I understood very well. After a minute I had enough and said in Wolof, “Ok I’m going, I’ll see you around, black ears!” His friends had a big laugh and I moved on.”

#11. I never made any indication.

“I used to work as a dealer in a casino where our biggest richest clients were Chinese. I don’t look Chinese but I could understand and speak it. Sitting down on my table, they thought it was safe to discuss techniques to be sneaky behind my back (and also talk about me a little, I’m a young girl so I got some creepy remarks). They never understood how they never got away with things as I never made any indication I understood them.”

#12. I just think ‘why’?

“So I was living in Barcelona dating a Swedish girl about 10 years ago, and I got really into studying Swedish and watching Swedish films and learning vocabulary and stuff. So we went on vacation to Portugal with her roommate over the summer, and we’re on the beach. I’m listening to a conversation that they’re having between themselves, and honestly not understanding much of it. But then, in this moment of pure clarity, I heard my girlfriend say “…Sometimes I look at him and I just think: ‘why??’”. Oh man, I confronted her about it, and I’ve never seen someone turn so red in my life.

Because apparently EVERYONE needs to know this:

She was a really rich girl from Sthlm, trying hard (and failing) to be less boring by coming to live in Barcelona. I was 22 and completely insane; dreadlocks, going out every night and doing speed, drinking, MD, coke; waking up a lot of the time next to other girls.

Half of the time I would look at myself in the mirror and think “why??”. Which is to say: I wasn’t really surprised that she had said it, I was much more surprised that I had understood it.”

#13. Driver was shook.

“In Quebec on a ski trip a bus hit my dad’s car while trying to park. My dad got onto the bus and started talking to the driver. The driver was quite apologetic, but when my dad started asking for his insurance information he all of a sudden couldn’t speak English. Without skipping a beat dad switches to interrogating the driver in French, the language he did all of his education until university. Driver was shook.”

#14. The whole class died laughing.

“This happened in HS, My home room teacher sent me to the principles office with some paperwork that was requested. As I walk in I see this one guy in the principles office, tall black dude, will call him “Mr J” and he is speaking fluent Spanish with the Spanish teacher. I drop off the papers with the secretary and go back to class. It’s almost end of day and I’m in my English class and we have a substitute teacher…Mr. J

Well kids being kids no one is listening to him, and one of my classmates, Millie, who’s sitting on the other side of the room from me starts bad mouthing him in Spanish to 3 other girls. I kept telling her to shut up, but she wouldn’t listen and just went on and on.

He heard me try to warn her and motioned for me to stop, so I stopped. And thats when he began talking back to her in Spanish! I didn’t say a thing, and the whole class died laughing, Millie then began to yell at me for not warning her and Mr. J told her..”she tried to warn you but you didn’t listen” she and the other girls got detention for about a week.”

#15. I love Korea.

“Visiting South Korea with my wife, a native of that country. I’m shaped like a lumberjack, and have a big, red lumberjack beard to match. A group of Korean women in their 50s and 60s nearby were laughing and calling me a “bear” which I found hilarious. So one of the older ones says, “Gom” (“bear”) to me as she passes by, and I start laughing. She makes that face like, “Did he understand what just I said?” So I raise my arms and make a playful growl at her. She is horrified and starts apologizing while her friends all cover their mouths and giggle, as Korean women customarily do. I love Korea.”

Never assume, y’all. You know what that does.

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15 Things About Being an Adult That We Never Understood as Kids

As a child, I remember wanting desperately to be an adult. Grown-ups got to do whatever they wanted – they could watch R-rated movies, use swear words, and stay up late.

I never realized until I grew up, however, that all of those perks don’t even BEGIN to offset all the annoying parts of being an adult. Things like bills, responsibilities, and spending 5/7ths of your life working for people who probably don’t give you what you deserve.

The 15 things below definitely make me nostalgic for the carefree days of my childhood.

#1. Bills to pay.

my dad wasn’t a workaholic, we just had bills to pay.

#2. I really thought I’d need the karate chop.

I used to think that living beyond 24 was crazy and impossible
I used to think you would grow up to be a particular person instead of a larger version of yourself. I genuinely thought I could become Prince.
I really thought I’d need the karate chop as a part of my adult life

#3. How to cherish the silence.

As a kid I thought if it was quiet it was boring and the worst possible thing. Now I work in a library and cherish the silence more than anything.

#4. Lefts and rights.

The whole “my right vs. your right” thing confused the heck out of me as a preschooler. I knew my own lefts and rights but when my mom was facing me and used to say “my right isn’t the same as your right” I learned to just do the opposite of what she looked like. Problem is this led to me thinking that the difference was because of AGE, so kids’ lefts and rights were the opposite of adults’ lefts and rights. So somehow I got the idea in my head that when you turned 21 your lefts and rights switched (I have no clue why I specifically thought 21, I had this image in my head of blowing out 21 candles and everyone saying congratulations and you get some kind of certificate to officially switch them). Well I’m 21 now and my lefts and rights never switched.

#5. Just double the Christmas presents.

That my parents couldn’t just double the presents this Christmas if I tell them it’s okay to not do anything for next Christmas.

#6. A dog and children.

The stress of paying bills and budgeting. My parents tried to keep this hidden from me but I could tell how much they carefully budgeted. They also sacrificed for us kids. I didn’t get that until I had a dog first and then children.

#7. Value.

The value of all the shit I trashed or broke.

#8. Some people are selfish jerks.

Not everyone is inclined to do the right thing. Some people are selfish jerks and it sucks, but you just have to accept it and do what you believe is right. There are a lot of awesome people out there too, and you can’t get too cynical about the world because of the shitty people in it

#9. Not a given.

Vacations and breaks aren’t a given. You don’t just get to stop working for a few weeks randomly throughout the year, and no one plans around your vacation – you must plan all of your own (and sometimes other people’s) work around your departures. Oh, and vacations are expensive. There’s probably a reason that Billy down the block’s family is able to take five people to Disneyworld: because they have money.

I’m a violin teacher now and blew this poor kid’s mind this past weekend when he asked me what I was doing for spring break. I sort of stared at him for a second, and then remembered that spring break is a thing that kids get…so I told him that I’m working because I don’t get a spring break and he was just completely aghast. Sorry buddy, the adult world isn’t as fun as being a kid.

#10. Because they weren’t cool.

The Alanis Morissette lyric “You’re my best friend / best friend with benefits” from “Head Over Feet.” I told my parents that my best friend was my best friend with benefits when I was like 8, and they laughed hysterically and I just assumed it’s because they weren’t cool and into Alanis’s music and didn’t understand that it clearly meant “super best friend.”

#11. Special phones with letters.

How to dial any phone number that was alphanumeric. 1-800-WAIT-WUT. I thought adults had access to special phones with letters.

#12. New jokes every time.

Calvin and Hobbes jokes. Reread and there’s new jokes every time.

#13. The value of afternoon naps.

How grown-ups fall asleep after Sunday lunch, Christmas dinner, etc. It was so boring as a kid but now I fully understand the value of afternoon naps in the sun after a roast dinner.

#14. Such a pretty name.

I didn’t know what virginity was and my dad would say I would understand when I got older. In the meantime, I thought it would make such a pretty name for a girl.

#15. How seldom they do.

You wouldn’t care what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they think of you.

Youth is definitely wasted on the young.

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15 Problems That are Uniquely European

There are so many great posts about the unique aspects of life in America, so we figured why not give our European brethren a chance to shine – and by “shine” we mean “tell us all the weirdest things about your life.”

#1. Adapting.

Popping over to your friend in the next country over only to find out they have the wrong configuration of 2/3 pins only to have to quickly drive back over the border to pick up your adapter so you can charge your phone.

#2. Despite all the data mining.

Despite all the data mining Google will still suggest me website in German eventough it knows that I only speak French. Edit : yes I also speak English but on local websites there is either French or German so the website will automatically set the German option despite my location being in the French speaking part of my country.

#3. Often expected.

It’s often expected that you need to learn your native language, English, and frequently one more language to a good level.

Edit: I want to thank everyone who took their time to reply! It’s been fascinating reading all your comments about the cultures of your countries growing up!

#4. No cool stamps.

Not getting any cool stamps in the passport when travelling through Europe

#5. Living in the Balkans.

Having a war every 20 years or so​

-sincerely, someone living in the Balkans

#6. Still bitter.

The wrong song representing your country in Eurovision. Still bitter.

#7. Not speaking in online games.

People not speaking in online games since they don’t speak english as their first language and are insecure about it.

#8. Netflix content.

different Netflix content when you change country

#9. Skinny people only.

Small roads. Dunno if this is just England. But my street can only fit one car and a skinny person and the MAIN road, outside it, can barely squeeze a bus and a big van.

#10. Happened to me.

Studying a few months in a neighboring country, falling in love, getting married and suddenly having a bunch of relatives you can’t talk to. Happens very quickly here. Happened to me.

#11. Still part of the Soviet Union.

Having a website in russian language automatically because some people still think your country is part of soviet union.

#12. Dead body storage.

Having to dig massive catacombs under cities to store all the dead bodies

#13. Sh*tty Viking raids.

Spending 3 hours driving to another country because the soda, candy and alcohol is cheaper and filling entire trailers and cars with it. Everyone who lives in Denmark on Jutland takes roadtrip over the border to Germany shopping at places like Kalle and Fleggaard, and stockpile huge amounts of soda, food and alcohol so that they have enough for months or years to come. It’s basically just shitty Viking raids

#14. WWII left some exciting treasures.

Problem of Germany and most likely London and the area around. (Can’t tell for other countries; so not sure if it counts but I am pretty confident that besides Spain every country has this problem to some extent) Having to plan for bomb defusal whenever there is a bigger excavation in or near any bigger city. WW2 left some exciting treasures to search for.

#15. Not being sure exactly what country you’re in sometimes.

Not being sure of exactly what country you’re in sometimes, when you’re driving through some border regions. Taking a detour through Germany or France depending on traffic conditions.

None of that makes me want to visit again any less!

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15 Truly Terrifying Horror Movies That Don’t Rely on Cheap Scares

Are you a horror movie nut? Frankly, I’m a big ol’ scaredy-cat but my wife really loves them so I’ve ended up seeing a few as well. The thing is, not all horror movies are created equally – some just rely on gimmicks and gore rather than actually cultivating a sense of dread in the viewer.

If you’re a horror fan looking for some suggestions, it’s a good thing you clicked on this link. Users of AskReddit shared their favorite terrifying horror films that don’t rely on cheap gags and scares, and they did NOT disappoint.

Take note of these!

1. Lake Mungo

“Lake Mungo.

Shot like a documentary, and definitely one of the more realistic mockunentaries I’ve ever seen. It’s about a family in Australia who believe their house is being haunted by the presence of the recently deceased teenage daughter. Since it’s meant to be realistic, the entire film kind of focuses on the idea that spirits aren’t real. That’s all I’ll say about the plot.

It’s been about two years since I first (and last) seen it and it has certainly stuck with me. I think about it often.”

2. Good choice

“John Carpenter’s The Thing.”

3. Ringu

“The original Japanese version of The Ring (“Ringu”).”

4. The Ritual

“The Ritual is a great movie, and it’s on Netflix.

“Reuniting after the tragic death of their friend, four college pals set out to hike through the Scandinavian wilderness. A wrong turn leads them into the mysterious forests of Norse legend, where an ancient evil exists and stalks them at every turn.”

5. An old fashioned ghost story

“The Others (2001).”

6. From 1979

“Alien.”

7. A classic!

“The Hitcher. Its just this teenager who picked up a murder hobo, escaped, but then sees him in another car with a family and tries to intervene.”

8. I need to check this one out

“I don’t know anyone else that’s seen it, but They Look Like People is a pretty unsettling psychological horror.”

9. Unsettling

“Jacobs Ladder for sure, very unsettling atmospheres.”

10. Spooky

“Event Horizon was pretty spooky.”

11. Take Kubrick’s word

“The Vanishing. Dutch film. Completely terrifying. Kubrick said it was the scariest movie he ever saw.”

12. Home invasion

“Hush (2016) Most home invasion movies freak me out but this one really stuck with me.”

13. Here are two for you

“Night of the Living Dead (1968). The classic zombie flick scared the shit out of me as a kid! :O

It Follows (2015). The modern monster flick scared the shit out of me as an adult! :O “

14. Into the Catacombs we go

“One movie I liked that didn’t grab too much traction was As Above, So Below, about a group of college kids that get lost in the catacombs below Paris, and the demons they meet down there. It’s unsettling as a film, but also because it has actually happened that several people, drunk or whatnot, have ventured into the catacombs and gotten lost and died. The movie was filmed in the actual catacombs, and the effects are really good. Plus there is a psycological aspect to the haunting that occurs, particularly amongst the more guilty of the group. Would recommend.

There are jump scares, but they are legitimate.”

15. Nightmares

“The Mothman Prophecies” shares a spot with the original “Nosferatu” as one of three movies that legitimately gave me nightmares.”

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15 People Reveal the Moment They Realized They’d Been Doing Something Wrong Forever

I apologize to you all in advance for the fact that this article might make you feel kinda dumb. Sure, these are stories shared by other people, but they’re Because even though these stories are from AskReddit users, you know you’ve been there, too.

So don’t even try to deny it.

1. Ohhhhhh….

“My mom use to refer to me as a “bull in a china shop”. Always heard it as “bowl in a china shop”. Thinking it was a compliment. At about 22 I hear someone else use the phrase and realized she meant “bull”, not “bowl”.”

2. That took a while

“Last month was the first time I discovered lint rollers were peelable. Literally sat there for a minute to take that in.

I’m 20.”

3. OH MY GOD

“Since the dawn of time, I would pick up the silverware and utensils out of their tray in the dishwasher and put them away in their drawers then go back and pick up more out of the dishwasher. Then one day I saw my wife lift the tray out of the dishwasher and I legit stood there with my mouth open.”

4. That’s better!

“We bought a nice liquor cabinet. We got it delivered and noticed it was a bit shorter than we thought. No biggie. Three years later, we’re moving. Lift up cabinet and these beautiful, ornate, screw on legs wrapped in tape and bubble wrap fall off the bottom. Looks so much better now!”

5. Driving lessons

“It wasn’t very long, but when I was learning to drive my dad was explaining the rule of thumb regarding a safe distance to be behind the car in front of you. I thought it meant to hold your thumb up and if your thumb didn’t cover the entire car you were too close to it. When he caught me doing that he asked me what I was doing. When I explained he burst out laughing, then considered it, and concluded it wasn’t a bad idea but perhaps a bit distracting.”

6. Grateful/Embarrassed

“Until last week, when my father in law would made a phone call on his very basic non-touch-screen flip phone he would open the menu, scroll to the phone icon, open it, hit the soft key for contacts, scroll to the person he wanted to call, press ok, then press the soft key to call.

When he mentioned how he preferred his landline because he could just dial the number, I said “Humour me. Just dial the number and hit the talk button.” I’ve never seen a man so simultaneously grateful and embarrassed.”

7. Mind was blown

“Couple years ago i was trying to open some toothpaste and had to break the seal of the tube, i used to look for something like a nail to break it, then one day i looked at the pointy end of the cap and thought ‘what if I could use this to break it’ and oh shit it did fit and broke it effortlessly, and so did every other tube product i had in the house and their respective cap, my mind was blown.”

8. Spelling issues

“Not mine, but my dad has been spelling his name wrong his whole life (he’s 51). His name is Jeffrey, and he’s been spelling it like that since he learned how to spell his name. A few months ago my mom pulled out his birth certificate, and we all learned it’s actually spelled Jeffery. Not sure if he spells it correctly now, but it was definitely an “oh shit” moment for him.”

9. Double Tips!

“When i first got a debit card and would go out to eat at restaurants with my friends, i would leave a cash tip on the table. when i got the receipt to put how much i was paying i would write down how much money i left on the table. for at least 6 months i gave double tips to every waitress i had…”

10. But that wasn’t the case…

“My mom has been pronouncing Massachusetts “Massa Two Shits” for years and no one corrected her because they thought she just had strong feelings about Massachusetts.”

11. Use the swivel!

“I owned a car with swivel headlights and it was very nice to have that. Discovered three years in that I had never turned on the swivel feature.”

12. Devastated

“When I was 5 a Pizza Hut employee told me that the powder on the breadsticks was called ‘fairy dust.’ Ordered extra fairy dust on my breadsticks until I was around 14 when an employee said ‘do you mean garlic salt?’ It still devastates me to realize how obtuse I was.”

13. Never noticed that…

“Realized the multi colored tape measures glued to the door frames of gas stations etc. are for identifying robbers, not for measuring yourself as you walk out. I mean, they can be, but that’s not why they are there. Unless you’re the robber.”

14. RYAN

“My name is Ryan.

It took me until I was in 1st grade to realize my name wasn’t in the alphabet.

My mom had told me my name was in the alphabet, and I felt so lucky. She obviously meant the letters to spell my name were in the alphabet.

But nope. It took that long to realize the alphabet didn’t go “W, X, Ryan Z….”

15. Don’t eat that

“Apparently the red ring around the bologna is not supposed to be eaten.”

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15 Children Share Their Parents’ Most Embarrassing “I Want to Talk to Your Manager” Experiences

We’ve all been there: you’re at a public restaurant or the grocery store, and some crank decides to make a scene about some aspect of the service that they’re unhappy with. It’s always uncomfortable for everyone on the scene, but it’s even worse when you happen to the child of that person.

These AskReddit users share their sad stories of being the children of those people.

1. NO

“Scene: Any fast food drive-thru

Worker: Ma’am, can you please drive forward a little bit while your food finishes up?

Mom: No. *folds arms*”

2. Loved a deal

“My dad just loved to argue, and he loved a deal.

We were shopping in a department store, and I found a pair of pants I was mildly interested in. The pants were tagged at (let’s say) $40, and the sign on the rack was “All pants $25”.

I was mildly interested, I asked the salesclerk if they had them in my size, the clerk said “those aren’t supposed to be on that rack”.

My dad lost his shit and insisted on getting the pants for $25, and started asking for a courtesy discount on top of that. Escalated to the floor manager and the store manager.

Meanwhile, I didn’t want the pants. They were ok pants I guess, nothing awesome, I just didn’t care very much about them. I was more than happy to move on. I told my dad I didn’t want the pants, by then he didn’t care about what I wanted, he wanted the pants at the better price.

Eventually after like an hour of arguing the store manager said “we’re not giving you the pants at that price. Take them or leave them at $40″. So we left them. Which suited me just fine, because I didn’t want the pants.”

3. Banned for life

“Ugh, my dad. He can be such a prick if you get his order wrong, it could be fast food or a nice sit down restaurant. He often yells at wait staff if they “undercook” his steak. It has to be well done or he claims to have lost his appetite.

One time we went to Burger King when I was younger and we sat down to eat. He took one bite of his burger, spit it out and immediately started bitching about it being under cooked. He cut in front of everyone in line to yell at the cashier, then he asked who was the cook. when the cook appeared, he launched his burger hitting the poor kid directly in the face with a lidless burger. He’s now banned for life from Burger King.”

4. Mortifying

“I was 13 when this happened. My mom had made a reservation at a hotel for a trip, but when she got there the lady said there was some error with the reservation and that my mom’s payment didn’t go through, so the lady offered us a double bed room for a discount.

Rather than just taking the room, thanking the lady, and leaving, my mom decided the best course of action would be to scream, in the middle of a hotel lobby, “NOBODY IS GOING ANYWHERE TIL I GET MY FUCKING ROOM!” She then proceeded to pester the lady, who clearly couldn’t do anything about it, until eventually she called the police on my mom for public disturbance. Mortifying.”

5. No, Nanny!

“Not my parent but grandparent. When I was around 10 years old my grandmother went out and got us (her, my brother, and me) McDonald’s. We got home and we didn’t have napkins in the bags. No big deal, right? We have paper towels and napkins in the house, also me and my brother are pretty good with not making any messes while we eat.

Nope. Grandmother got us in the car, drove back to McDonald’s, demanded a manager, and screeched about how upset she was that we didn’t get any napkins. I wanted to just melt into the floor and disappear. It’s just napkins, Nanny….”

6. “I died inside”

“I was with my parents on vacation and the hotel put charges on the bill by accident. My mom marched to the front desk and demanded to see the manager. There was a long line, but she cut right in front of it. The manager wasn’t very helpful, probably because she was rude.

So my mom, went to all the other customers in line and told them that the hotel was a scam and they were ripping us off with fake charges. She made a scene. The hotel called the police and we were escorted off the premises by actual cops. I died inside.”

7. Oh my…

“When I was a young child on a long distance flight my mother let me and my brother sleep on the floor. For safety reasons the flight attendants told my mother that we were not allowed to sleep on the floor. She started to argue with the flight attendants who then turned to the pilots.

The pilots threatened to turn the plane around unless we get up from the floor but she continued to argue. The pilots anounced they were about to turn around because of my mother, so all the passangers got pissed. Eventually she caved in when she had all passengers and flight crew on a boeing 747 against her…”

8. Maybe she had a point…?

“My Mum demanded to see a café’s hygiene certificate when she saw an employee go from cutting cake in the kitchen to handling money at the till, even though the real problem is going the other way.”

9. Walk away in shame

“My mother is A nightmare with customer service… even with the fact that I her daughter works in customer service and deals with people like her on the daily

So many incidents stick out in my mind but one that really embarrassed me was we were at Walmart

The stocker was struggling and dropped their price scanner thing on the ground. I was going to go help her gather her things she was struggling with when my mom came out like a bat out of hell and yelled “YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD PICK THAT UP PEOPLE COULD TRIP” and then she darted off with the cart

I was so embarrassed I just walked away in shame, and when I pointed it out to my mom the girl dropped it on accident she said “WELL SHE SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL”

K….”

10. Thanks a lot, Mom

“I worked at Best Buy. I stopped in with my mom one day because she wanted to buy me the Star Wars DVD box set for my birthday.

I had a huge, HUGE crush on the girl that was working the customer service counter. Well, the DVD set rang up $10 more than it was priced, and my mom deliberately didn’t say anything until after the transaction so she could claim the effing $5 Michigan Scan Law bounty.

My crush didn’t know how to process it and the manager was busy, so my mom tore into her about how it was her job and how she should understand how to do things.

At my job.

To a girl I liked.

My life was misery for a while afterward.”

11. Never again

“My mom asked me to call her a taxi via an app.

She ended up calling me multiple times complaining about how the driver didn’t use the route she thought was best (she never owned a car and doesn’t know how to drive), even though the guy just used the best possible route the navigator suggested.

She ended up getting out halfway and using subway. The driver proceeded to call me in tears, completely shocked, unsure of what he did so wrong, and apologizing. I felt like total shit.

I never called her a cab again.”

12. Honor the sign!

“Grocery store had this sign up that said if an item rang up higher than an advertised price it was free. It was the 80s and stores did stupid shit like this that I never see in stores today.

Mom was buying a box of Little Debbie cakes and they rang up for $2.85 instead of the advertised $2.50. So now mom wants her free cakes. Cashier doesn’t know what to do, summons a manager. Manager tells her to ring up the sale otherwise and he’ll be right back.

Comes back and hands my mother 35 cents cheerfully and says “There you go!” My mother points out the sign behind him and he says “Oh, the last manager put that up, it doesn’t make any sense. I’m the new manager and I just haven’t had the sign removed yet” (it was a printed plastic sign that was screwed into the wall).

Mom insists they honor their sign, he says nah. Now, up to this point, I as an adult looking back am totally on board with mom’s actions.

Mom gathers her things, decides against taking the Little Debbies on principle, and we get in the car. Mom wordlessly drives downtown to the main store of this 3-5 store chain, knowing the office is next door. We walk into this perfectly 80’s wood paneled office where my mother asks the secretary to speak to the owner of the store and is permitted to do so since this is a family owned business and their “corporate office” is smaller than the row of cubicles my staff occupy at work.

Here my mother unleashes a tirade about how she has lost faith in his brand and how his word is meaningless since they will not honor the sign etc. This guy stands up, profusely apologizes, validates her anger and then pulls out his wallet and hands her a $5 bill along with a promise that he will speak to the manager and the sign will either be honored or removed.

We get home and find that the ice cream we bought melted in the trunk because summer and ruined the cereal and the bread.”

13. Silent bystander

“My dad once asked the guy at the verizon wireless store to give him his own Social Secuirity number because he asked for my dads. My dad walked out afterwards with some strangers SS number on a post it. I was a silent bystander because I really wanted my first phone.”

14. Get it sorted

“One time my Grandad got a sausage roll at a football match during half time, when he got back to his seat he found it was overdone, the pastry was quite burned. The man was irate. He didn’t take it back straight away as the second half was about to start, but he spent much of the second half angrily lamenting his savoury snack letdown. So he takes it home, calls the customer service number on the back (I assume he had a few choice words for the poor soul on the other end but I wasn’t present for this), and keeps the remainder of the sausage roll in the freezer for the next couple of weeks.

Skip ahead to the next match day, my Grandad tells me we’re heading out early so he can have his sausage roll replaced. The customer service line told him to go to Kiosk 3 at the front of the ground next to the ticket office. When we arrive, however, the shutters are down at the food place. The old man looks around growling and turning red in the face, stamps right over to window number 3 of the ticket office and slams his frozen burned sausage roll down like a fucking flaky gauntlet. At this point I’m trying to convince him the ticket office was a completely different department to the catering concession but my Grandad was having none of it.

The lady working the ticket window continually attempted in vein to convince him the same, they sell match tickets not hot snacks, but this just got him angrier and angrier. Across comes a colleague behind the glass, now there’s just two people to rage at. Then a head steward comes to attempt to diffuse the situation and my Grandad begins to wave the burnt sausage roll in this man’s face, I was actually surprised he didn’t whack him with it. At this point I’m mortified by the whole affair, wishing I’d have stayed back at the house until nearer kick off.

Eventually, after an hour or so, the shutters come up on the food concession. Fella at the counter goes ‘You must be Mr. Alaginge’ and calmly resolves the situation, dispatching a freshly baked sausage roll with the steady hands of a surgeon. My Grandad is completely satisfied with the result of his hour of insolent rage. As we’re walking away he turns to me and says ‘that’s how you get these things sorted.’ “

15. No more Olive Garden

“I grew up in a smaller town right on the cusps of its big growth boom. We knew our town had finally made it when we got an Olive Garden. We used to eat there 2-3 times a month. My mom and I would always split an entree and my dad would get his own. We knew the rule if you’re splitting and entree and you get more than one of the family style bowls of salad than you’ll get charged an extra $4 for the extra person. Which is fair, 2 entrees come with 2 unlimited salads.

Welllll one day my dad decides he wanted more salad. Only he wants the additional salad, but the waitress said if she refills the bowl, that we will be charged the extra $4. Wellll low and behold my parents threw the biggest tantrum because only HE wanted the additional salad. The demanded to speak to a manager and the manager explained the rule (which we knew) but offered to comp the extra salad just to get my parents to stop yelling….and they did. When our bill came the manager comped my dads entree and the additional salad fee. Well my mom got up.

Interrupted the manager while he was talking to other guests and threw the check in his face and asked “what’s this?!?!” She was furious that he comped my dads meal. He ate the meal therefore we would like to pay for it. She wouldn’t stop raising her voice until she was allowed to pay for the meal (but not the salad). The manager was confused but obliged…when they brought the change the manager slipped a few free appetizer coupons.

My mom ripped them up and threw them on the ground as she left. Safe to say I didn’t eat out with them for at least a month and I still refuse to go to Olive Garden with them.”

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15 “Unwritten Rules” of Life You’d Do Well to Follow

Life doesn’t come with a manual, despite how much we all wish it did. That leaves each of us to figure out our way through the maze that is existence.

That said, there’s no rule that says you can’t seek out the advice of others. With that in mind, here are a number of unwritten rules for life by the users of AskReddit.

What are your unwritten rules in life? Share in the comments below?

1. Your responsibility

“If you have to cancel on a friend, it should be your responsibility to reschedule.”

2. This is HUGE

“If you use up all of the toilet paper, you go refill it (this applies for the household).”

3. No snuggles

“Give people their personal space. Not everyone wants to snuggle a stranger.”

4. Fill ‘er up

“If you borrow someone’s car… fill up the tank before you return it.”

5. Get your own

“If you’re borrowing it for a third time, you need one of your own.”

6. Never, ever, ever do that

“Don’t just say things like “I love your baby bump!” to some random person.”

7. It is mindblowing

“If someone asks you a question, finish what you’re saying with, “what about you?”

Enjoy noticing how many people actually don’t do this.”

8. It’s okay to be wrong

“You can be wrong. It isn’t a bad thing, either. And when you are wrong, acknowledge it, and learn from it, you don’t need to dig down in your beliefs to try and comfort yourself because you can’t handle not being right all the time.”

9. Words to live by

“Don’t mess up an apology with an excuse.”

10. Don’t be a bum

“Dont ask for something if the person only has one left.(Gum,cigarette,piece of cake etc.).”

11. Be respectful

“Leave it in a better condition than you found it.”

12. Let them laugh

“Never make fun of someone else’s laugh, be it how they sound or how they look. Laughing is the most natural expression of joy and happiness and for someone to feel self-conscious about that because of other’s comments is so brutal.”

13. Why would anyone do this?

“Don’t propose at someone else’s wedding.”

14. I feel like everyone should know this

“Don’t start drama at a funeral.”

15. Everyone should do this

“Be kind to strangers even if you’re having a hard time.”

The post 15 “Unwritten Rules” of Life You’d Do Well to Follow appeared first on UberFacts.