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911 Operators Share the One Call That’ll Haunt Them Forever

It should be no secret that the people on the other end of the 9-1-1 line have super stressful jobs. They’re talking to human beings in their most desperate moments (and also some stupid and hilarious moments, of course), so of course they have some pretty good stories.

Like the 17 below, categorized by people on the job as totally “unforgettable.”

#1. Got you now, you little sh*t.

I have a few.

I took a call from a man who’s ~1 year old daughter fell in the pool while unattended. At the time of the call she was not breathing, unresponsive, and had no pulse. My partner dispatched out fire and EMS while I was on the phone. Got the child’s mother to start CPR. Fortunately she was certified and didn’t require very much instruction at all, just had to tell her to count her compressions out loud so I could keep up. Before first responders arrived, the baby starts breathing again. I believe she sustained some brain injury but nothing life threatening. Had to go take a walk around the block after that one. Please please please, if you aren’t CPR certified, get certified. It very well may have been the difference between that child living and dying.

On a lighter note, I also had a guy call in claiming he was having a heart attack. None of the info I got from this guy indicated he was even remotely at risk for one. Mid 20s male, average weight, no history of heart problems (or any other medical history for that matter). Turns out he had smoked some particularly strong pot about 30 minutes prior to calling. Absolutely nothing wrong with him other than he was stoned stupid. We got a pretty good laugh out of that one.

I also took a call from a kid who was about 10 years old who thought it would be funny to prank call 911. He started off by saying there was a fire. I could hear him giggling in the background. Followed that up with meowing at me over the phone. Managed to get a good location off the call and got his address. Read the address to him and asked if that’s where he lives. CLICK. Alright, got you now, you little shit. Had a deputy go out to the house as is our policy and he explained the situation to the parents. Deputy told me later the kid got the ass chewing of a lifetime. Super gratifying.

#2. We still had to check for spiders.

“A woman complaining of spiders in her vagina”

In college, I worked as an EMT in a major city. Not the craziest call I ever had but one of the wackiest call outs we ever got was to respond to “a woman complaining of spiders in her vagina”. I’ll never forget pulling up to this major intersection where, sure enough, there’s this old lady lying on the sidewalk with her pants off and legs spread up in the air. Turns out it was this transient lady in her 70s who had been having some wild hallucinations.

We still had to check for spiders ?

#3. He couldn’t let it go.

Not me, but my sister is a dispatcher. One time she received a call from a man who said he just killed his sister and brother. She kept him on the phone for 5 or 6 minutes to make sure he didn’t run before officers arrived. She got him to admit they had all been drinking and playing cards, then got into an argument when one of them accused the other of cheating. The other two went to bed, but this guy stayed up stewing. Apparently he couldn’t let it go. He shot each of them in their beds while they slept, then called 911. I heard a partial recording of the call and she sounded calm AF. She told me she was screaming on the inside the entire time.

#4. Profoundly sad.

Older lady, I want to say maybe early 70s, calls in with a sort of polite urgency in her voice, tells me she thinks she’s having a stroke. Tells me she has her grandchild at the house with her, asks me to call her daughter to come get the child.

By the time she’s done giving me the phone number there’s just a very slight slur in her speech. By the time EMS got there (probably no more than 5 minutes or so) I couldn’t understand a thing she was saying. Fascinating, disturbing, and profoundly sad hearing someone stroke out on the phone as they’re talking to you.

#5. Miscommunication can be horrifying.

Had some one call saying a man had been killed by a goat. Turns out goat is what they also call the machine that picks oranges off of trees. Miscommunication can be horrifying.

#6. It was slugs.

I’ll go with a lighter one. I once had an elderly woman complain that gang members tagged her shed. She also said she didn’t want a black deputy (this is the south). The (black) deputy arrived and found that it wasnt spray paint, but that her shed was so dirty that slugs had eaten paths in the filth that created patterns.

#7. She’d been laying down in the back seat without her seatbelt on.

This one still bothers me because it’s so fresh and our community is hurting from it as well. Took a call from a hysterical woman advising me of a rollover crash that happened near her house. She lives near the top of a blind hill that people like to “jump” (like catching that butterfly feeling in your stomach, although you can get air in the right vehicle). She tells me that a girl is laying on the ground about 30 feet or so from the vehicle. When asked if the girl is alive, she says, “Oh yes, honey she’s wiggling around on the ground. My daughter is a nurse, she’s checking on her now.” Awesome. We hardly ever are lucky enough to have a trained professional on scene before a med unit can get there. But then she tells me her daughter is starting CPR. To be honest, that didn’t surprise me. My caller was getting hysterical again and we already had first responders on the way, so I started asking more questions about the scene. Her daughter breaks CPR to get on the phone with me. Tells me she can do compressions only, that the girl’s jaw is completely gone. A bit stunned, I tell her to continue compressions. But rather than getting put back on with the original caller, I hear the scared voice of a teenage girl, the driver. “Is my friend going to be okay?” I can’t find anything to say for a moment. Finally, after what seemed to be too long, I say “They’re doing CPR, dear. And we have help on the way. Are you and the other passenger okay?” “We’re fine. Just please tell me she’s okay.” The girl on the ground was confirmed D.O.A. She had been laying down in the back seat without her seat belt on because she had a headache. She was 15.

#8. The type of scream…

Answered to the sounds of a couple of women absolutely screaming and wailing (I’m sure anyone that has done the job long enough knows the type of scream I mean – that blood curdling scream of someone in genuine anguish). Knew something was up and got police and ambulance on the way. Trying to get them on the phone to get details and a boy of no more than five years old comes on the phone and says “my daddy is swinging from the roof and his eyes are open and staring”.

He had hung himself while his family were out doing their shopping.

#9. Kindness and compassion in his last moments.

A young man 23 years old called and told me he was going to commit suicide. He was my first call of my shift that day, very early in the morning. He planned to set his car on fire with himself inside. He was upset and crying but he apologized to me. He said he was sorry I picked up the phone and he was sorry for how this was going to affect me. He hung up on me and the second time I was speaking to him I could hear liquid splashing in the background. He ended hanging up again and I never got him back. He did end up setting the on fire and it was fully engulfed by the time anyone got there. I’ll never forget his name or voice and I simply hope I showed him kindness and compassion in his last moments.

Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver kind strangers! I appreciate all the comments. I’m fine. Im lucky enough to have an amazing support system in my co-workers and I have an awesome spouse to keep me grounded. This call made me a better dispatcher. It’s easy to become desensitized to the horrific things we hear and this young man renewed my passion for helping people.

#10. Biggest WTF.

Well, my buddy is a fireman and dispatch had just alerted them of a man having chest pains. They get to the guys house, and as soon as they open the door, the dudes dog runs outside. The dude shouts “you let my dog out! go get my dog! Please!” So my buddy immediately starts chasing the dog.

He catches the dog, comes back to the house, and when he walks in the door he sees that the man having “chest pains” had actually shot a HOLE IN HIS CHEST while cleaning his gun.

Old dude shoots himself in the chest, tells 911 it’s chest pains, and when help arrives, he makes them go chase his dog down before tending to his own life threatening wound. Biggest WTF of my buddies career

#11. Pretty messed up.

This actually happened a few days ago. I’m an ER tech, but one of our unit secretaries (someone who transfers calls and does other important tasks that keeps the place afloat) is an EMT in the next county over. I was waiting for a patient to return to their room, talking with her, when she looks down at her phone. She tells me she has the dispatch app or whatever for ambulances and fire trucks, and every firehall in the county had just received a call about a possible decomposing body. Apparently the neighbor called about a terrible smell coming from the property. Hazmat was called and everything, expecting a dead human body.

Once they broke into the house, they found that it wasn’t a dead human, but 38 dogs in the house. 11 of the dogs were dead and in “varying states of decomposition”. The place is still pretty much under wraps, but 16 more dogs were found in the shed yesterday. The two people who owned the house have since been arrested and charged with 51 counts of animal cruelty. All of the animals left alive were taken to the humane society, where half of the county has just about donated food or blankets.

The whole thing is pretty messed up, but I now for sure respect the hell out of the EMTs and paramedics that walk through our doors everyday. They really never know what they’re going to see when they walk into a place.

Here’s the most recent article: https://www.carrollcountytimes.com/news/local/cc-dogs-cruelty-040919-story,amp.html

#12. It really messed with my head.

I’ve been a 911 dispatcher for 11 years in a medium size center (population ~180,000). We have more than our share of crazy calls but there are only a few calls that have stuck with me. For me the ones that I can’t get rid of aren’t even close to being the craziest or most brutal.

7-8 years ago I took a 911 call from a man who came home to find his adult sister had been raped and beaten. The suspect had wrapped a telephone cord around her neck then tried to push her through the window of the apartment. He was understandably very distraught. She was still alive and was able to talk to me. She had not been blindfolded and I was certain I could get a description of the person who had done this to her. She answered all of my other questions but absolutely refused to give me any info on the suspect. I later found out that the reason was self-preservation, the person who did it was the brother who called 911 for help. He was so believable it really messed with my head. I also felt horrible that I had continued pressing her for info with the person who hurt her was right there and that I could have potentially put her in more danger without realizing.

#13. She was laughing so hard she could barely give me her safety password.

I was a dispatcher for a residential alarm company similar to ADT. I would call people when their alarm was tripped and ask them if they were okay.
One day I received a signal from a residence from a glass break sensor on a window in the bathroom.
When i called the lady was laughing so hard she could barely give me her safety password.
Turns out she was cleaning her bathroom and when she bent over she farted so hard and loud it set off the sensor on the bathroom window.

#14. Not even a little bit.

Not 911, but tele-nursing, people called me plenty when it should have been 911.

Grandma, calls me about her 16 year old, 40 week pregnant, grand daughter.

GM: Hey my grandbaby is pregnant and she just went to pee and said the cord is hanging out….is that normal?

Me: No…..not even a little bit

#15. Not something I’ll ever forget.

For me, the worst ones are always the calls you can relate to on a personal level. I took a call last month from a father who discovered his son with a bag over his head and a note next to his body. I’ve taken a ton of suicide calls, but this one was particularly difficult for me because the son was my age, and the way the father pleaded with his son was almost exactly the same way I’ve imagined my dad if I were to ever do the same. I’ve had the same “Come on, buddy! Don’t do this to me!” running in my head at least 2-3 times a day since.

Also, not technically a call but my first shift on my own, I dispatched the deputy I did my ride along with to a domestic that he ended up being shot and killed at. Hearing his blood-gurgled “shots fired” scream on the radio won’t be something I’ll ever forget.

#16. It was a wild time.

A woman masturbating on the phone.

The first time she called she sounded normal at first. Asked for an officer that never worked here. General conversation about this officer while she progressively got more.. extreme with her moaning. I eventually (and gracefully) ended the conversation. It was a wild time. I still remember her name and voice.

The second and third times she called I asked if it was her and she hung up right away.

Why are you like this Ms. Roberts? What is your end game?

Edit: For clarification, we traced the number down to a woman in Florida. We’re located in Missouri and our agency is tiny (part of why I like this job). Hunting her down and bringing her to justice probably would have gotten her offwouldn’t have been worth the hassle.

#17. It will stick with me forever.

Student Paramedic here. Had a call being general broadcasted over radio when I was chilling in base with my mentor (we were on a 2 man car ambulance) operator who was broadcasting said something along the lines of: “female, reportedly unconscious, police on scene, major trauma (pause)… CPR in progress confirmed arrest by police on scene.”

my mentor looks at me, we’re off in 30 mins at the end of a night shift but we go anyway. We’re around the corner. Make it there in no time at all. There’s police EVERYWHERE. at least 7 squad cars. I’m nervous as hell and so is my mentor. As we approach the house, a man emerges, handcuffed by police. He looks content enough and smiles at us as we walk by. Police shout for us to hurry, we run over with equipment to front door and are met with one of the worst scenes I’ve ever seen and will always be there in my mind.

There’s a woman lying on the ground, with the left side of her head caved in, blood absolutely all over the place and brain matter scattered around the floor too. Police are doing CPR, we stop them when we see the Patient has signs of pooling and rigor mortis. I’m literally sweating and on the verge of tears, this is not how I wanted my shift to end. Then, we hear from behind us more police in the house and the sounds of children. 2 kids are escorted out of a bedroom behind us with their eyes covered and one of them asks:”what’s going on Where’s Mommy?”. My heart melted. I’ve never been exactly traumatised by a job but those kids being shielded from what just happened to their mother will stick with me forever.

I bring equipment back to the ambulance as my mentor starts to do paperwork and we wait for someone to move the body. Social services arrive and take the kids, blissfully unaware of what’s just happened. Was off 3 hours late after all the paperwork and interviewing from police. Good job, but man has it lefts it’s mark on me.

I couldn’t do it. Glad others can!

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15+ People Who Are Not Sorry At All, Thank You Very Much!

Sometimes you do something and you really regret it.

Not these 18 people! They do not regret a thing, and it’s wonderful to read. Because when you’re truly wronged, you deserve a little retribution.

Or if you want a plum… go get the plum!

You’ll see…

1. Slowly…

Slowing down when someone is tailing me.

I only do this in the slow lane, I typically move if I’m in the fast lane.

2. This aunt needs to get her priorities straight!

My aunt was about to get married to this one rich scumbag who apparently treated her “right”. My brother and I did some investigating over the fact that he had lots and I mean LOTS of female friends.

A lot of sht went on, but in the end, we found out that he was a sleeping with and is a sugardaddy to some of of them. It was just three days before the actual wedding that we found out.

Told our aunt about it, wedding was cancelled, aunt was upset with us as well for some reason, and we regret nothing.

3. The right thing to do!

Sneaking pictures of my aunt into her fathers funeral slideshow behind her sisters back.

The two never got along and one sister was in charge of the funeral. She was adamant about leaving out any photo with her sister in it. My aunt (the victim in this case) was very close with her father. So I lied to my other aunt that the slideshow was done and I downloaded a secret folder of pictures onto the slideshow. She’s so bad with technology that she didn’t notice.

Not sorry.

My other aunt gave me a teary hug after the funeral and thanked me, she knew I had been the one to slip them in. She died last month of a sudden aneurism. I’d do it again, even if my other aunt never talked to me again. I sure miss her.

4. Be kind to yourself!

I’m not sorry for focusing on me and my needs. I used to be so concerned with taking care of all my friends and family to the point that I was I was sacrificing my needs for a lot of people who would not do the same for me. I’ve learned to cut toxic people out of my life and focus on my true close friends and family rather than trying to care for everyone.

Being liked by everyone used to be so important to me and honestly it’s so exhausting. I’m not sorry if people don’t like me anymore. It’s impossible to make everyone happy.

As long as you’re not being a complete asshole, you need to take your needs into consideration as well.

5. Time to grow up kid!

I love my daughter to death, but at 25, I had to cut her off financially.

I support everything she is passionate about, but if your passion is working for non-profits and wilderness retreats, maybe you should adjust your lifestyle so you can afford your bills.

6. Bully… watch your back…

In Elementary School, a kid named Patrick was my bully and he’d do shit like “accidentally” bump into me and spill my lunch and step on the backs of my shoes.

So one day, he was coming out of the cafeteria and I stuck my leg out and watched him trip face forward into the ground. We both got sent to the Principal’s Office, and he got whatever the Elementary School version of an In-School Suspension was for his repetitive bullying while I got a slap on the wrist.

Absolutely not sorry.

7. Completely fair!

Eating the snacks that my wife has forgotten about.

8. Facebook is not real life, people!

Quitting FB and having people complain that they don’t know what I’m up to. Fucking ask me!

9. Oh, this is a really good idea…

Cutting out my dad’s side of the family from my life.

They made my life a living hell while I was growing up. I was the youngest of the cousins so I would regularly get beat up or locked in rooms (my dad worked nights). They would smash furniture and TVs then blame me. As a young adult all they did was cause more drama by still break things in my dad’s apartment, or try to start physical fights. I’ve had so many fist fights with my cousin from defending my property to protecting my cat (no one messes with my kitty).

Once I moved out of my dad’s I cut all contact with them. I maybe see them once a year when my dad tricks me into seeing them (he has the mentality of always forgive family).

They know nothing of my adult life and I know nothing of theirs and I’m going to keep it that way.

10. Charities shouldn’t pressure like this…

I refused to give money to charity. Okay, but hear me out on this.

There was a lady who was claiming to represent a charity, but acted really shady. This was at a concert in a cafe/bar. She had a clipboard and was approaching people by saying “I’m taking donations for (whatever charity). Just write down whether you’re giving $5, $10, or $20.”

She didn’t ask if you’d donate, just told you to choose how much you were giving her.

I told her I prefer giving to charities I’ve researched, because some of them only spend a low percentage of donation money on the cause (Susan B. Komen ಠ_ಠ ). The lady got angry and raised her voice at me. She tried shaming and bullying me into giving her money, and we seriously fought about it.

Eventually she turned to my friend and started pressuring him lol. He said “Yeah uh…like my friend said…” and she stormed off. You have to trust me, there was something off about her. Plus, she waited until people were buzzed at a concert before approaching to tell them to give her money.

11. Fire in the hole!

Laughing at my friend in high school who stuffed her bra with tissue and then dropped a cigarette down her cleavage and she thought the tissue was going to catch on fire and dumped a beer on herself. I refused to stuff my bra and she said I was chicken, this was her karma. I felt bad when her parents smelled the beer and grounded her for drinking though.

12. YES!

Leaving my abusive ex.

13. Hey, it’s your wedding!

Not inviting my needy aunt to go wedding dress shopping with me. She’s begged me already and has been dropping hints for months, but I’m not budging.

This is the one time in my life that something really is only about me, and I’m not going to deal with her drama that day.

14. RIP Fido *sniff*

Creating a small “pet cemetery” in our parents’ back yard, despite my father forbidding it.

It felt like the right thing to do – no regrets.

15. Plums!

Eating the plums from the icebox.

They were delicious.

So sweet, and so cold.

16. Tips ARE NOT mandatory…

I’m normally a big tipper as I worked in the industry a long time but last week I left zero tip for my server that did a horrible job.

17. Don’t be a dick to the customers, please!

When we were in high school, my friends and I would always go to the same diner.

About 85% of the time we’d get sat with this awful woman who’d treat us like shit. She’d smile and be polite with grown ups, but the smile would disappear the second she got to us. She’d leave our food on the counter for 5-10 minutes while she talked to other tables, never refill a single drink, and roll her eyes if you asked for anything.

The first few times I just figured she wasn’t trying because she thought teenagers would tip like shit, so I tipped her really well. But the shitty service continued, and eventually I just tipped her $0.

Only time I’ve ever done that, but she really earned that $0.

18. Sometimes, this is necessary.

Telling the parents of a special needs child (think similar to Down’s Syndrome) that their daughter was struggling a lot with normal schooling (even with her IEP and own lesson plans) and she would be better off in a special needs school sooner rather than later.

They said to be honest with them and I was.

Sorry, not sorry!

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10+ Redditors Remember the Strangers from Their Past That Made a Lasting Impact On Them

Have you ever met a stranger who left an indelible impression on you? Maybe it was something they said to you or just something you saw them do – either way, it’s something you remember for the rest of your life.

Reddit users were asked one simple question: “What stranger do you still think about?” The answers they provided were funny, heartwarming, and all-around fascinating.

1. What…?

I went to the municipal administration to authenticate my documents. While waiting, a dude comes in and says “Hey you! Hey bro! Make like this” and he turned his arm in a weird way. “Yeah you! Do this like I’m doing it” and turns around his arm again. So I do what he wants me to.

He comes closer to me and asks me to do it again, so I turn around my arm again. He shakes my hand and tells me, that I will always be his homie and he will never let me down. He goes to the door and asks me to turn around my arm. I turn around my arm and he says “You are the coolest guy ever. Peace out.” Walks out, runs to the other side of the street, while there was plenty of traffic and nearly gets overrun. He runs away as fast as he can. Never seen him again nor do I know what the hell just happened.

2. “I’ve got your back… and your neck.”

This man in a Red Sox hat that I met on a connect flight from Pittsburgh to California. We both forgot our neck pillow and decided to go with each other to buy some because a kiosk had a “buy one, get one 50% sale.” He ended up paying for mine too. I think about him every time I board a flight with that neck pillow.

3. Don’t worry, be happy.

I was in Bergen with a friend doing a tour around Norway. We were in a park and this guy, curly hair, around 40 years old, smiled at us. The happiest, nicest, beautifulest smile of all. He walked away, and we turned to look at him. He was looking at us too, and waved at us. I like to imagine he is still smiling at people in this park and being happy.

4. Sometimes, words aren’t necessary.

Random girl I sat next to on the subway. We both read our books the whole ride. At her stop she said “It was really nice riding with you” and left. We hadn’t spoken or made eye contact the whole time.

5. Never underestimate the power of a compliment.

I was at the supermarket about two years ago, just buying groceries. My week wasn’t the best and I was feeling quite a bit lower than usual, but hey, I gotta eat. I was grabbing some yogurt, and all of a sudden I feel something wrap itself around my right leg. A little girl, about 3 or so, stares straight up at me, smiles the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on a child that age, and proceeds to proclaim, “Wow, you’re really pretty!” A bit shell shocked, I thanked her as her mother came hurrying over. The mom apologized and told her daughter to do the same for “bothering the nice lady,” but honestly I’ve never felt so honored in my life. The girl is probably five or six by now, and I guarantee I’ll never forget her. She made my day so much brighter, and I find myself giving compliments to random people more often now.

6. Man hath known no greater embarrassment.

The guy who waved at me at a bus stop several years ago, but he wasn’t actually waving at me, he was waving at a guy behind me, and when I waved at him, he laughed. I think about him basically every time I go out now that I live back in the same city that it happened in, and worry I’ll see him again, and that I’ll die.

7. Is he a time traveler?

This man who was about to get off the bus at the station, who, before exiting, turned to my dad and said in a very peaceful voice, “You’re going to live to be a 100 years old. I can see it in your face”. It was such an odd, but nice encounter. He was an older man himself. I hope he’s doing good.

8. A reminder to be good to other people.

The Canadian dude who helped me and my baby daughter out at Toronto airport. I was travelling back from the UK, where I had taken my daughter to introduce her to my family, flying back to Baltimore, where my husband was waiting for us. The check in clerk at Heathrow had told me my luggage would be checked straight through, which was totally wrong. I arrive for my connecting flight with my carry on, and my 11 month old kid in her car seat carrier, and they ask me where my luggage is. I have to go back to the other terminal, get my luggage, go back through customs and make my flight, all while toting a baby, with no Canadian money. Also, I’m hugely upset because I just left all my family behind. I get back to the terminal, get my luggage and the customs guy yells at me for being late getting my stuff, basically implying I’m using my baby and connecting flight to manipulate him into letting me through without inspecting my luggage. So 23 year old me bursts into tears in the middle of the airport. This dude notices, asks me whats wrong and goes about fixing it for me. Gives me a dollar coin for the luggage trolley. Yells at the Air Canada staff that they have screwed up, and gets them to get me through staff security so I make my flight – all that stuff I should have been doing but I was so gired and upset I just couldn’t do myself. I never had the chance to give him back his dollar coin since as soon as I was ok, he disappeared, but I keep it in my purse, even now, 15 years later, to remind me to be good to other people.

9. Michael the Firefighter.

I was in a car accident in 2005. I hydroplaned during a rainstorm and slid through 4 busy lanes of rush hour traffic, catching the freeway divider and finally ending up facing into traffic as cars whizzed past me in the rain. I called my husband to tell him I loved him because I was pretty sure I had minutes before a car slammed into me. I had no idea how I was going to get my car turned around, or if I could even drive. I knew I was in pain and I was scared to the point of just helplessly sobbing and screaming. A truck slowed down and parked in front of me. It was this big Ford something-or-other and a man got out. He had a white pearl snap shirt and a grey cowboy hat on (this was in Texas and that’s still kind of distinctive). He said his name was Michael and he was an off-duty firefighter. He asked me if I was able to get out of the car. I nodded tearfully, and as soon as I was out of the car I sobbed in his arms like a little kid. I was in my mid-twenties, but I didn’t care. He checked me over and said we had to get my car off the freeway. I agreed, and we checked to see if it would start. It did. I could see the nearest hospital over the nearby businesses, and he said he would get me off the freeway and I was to go directly there and he’d meet me at the ER to make sure I was okay. Then he slowly pulled his truck forward to make a barrier (it’s still freeway rush hour and cars are still in the rain. He parked it, got out, and started to wave his hat to slow more cars down to a stop. They did. I was able to pull away and drive to the hospital, dragging the rear of my car in a loud mess behind me. My husband got there just as I did, frantic, and he helped me inside so I could get checked out. I had whiplash, bruises, and soft tissue damage in my lower back. My shoulder was subluxed from the force of the steering wheel jerking. I had chocolate Slim Fast shake in my hair. I never saw Michael again. I checked the news to make sure no one hit him while he pulled that stunt to get me off the freeway. I had no last name to go by, and wasn’t sure what department he worked for. That was the second firefighter to save my life. I didn’t know the first one because I was a newborn, but I go out of my way to thank every firefighter I meet. He was off-duty. He could have just drove by, but this man stopped and helped me when I was scared and hurt and in danger. Thanks Michael.

10. Blast from the past.

The older gentleman who knocked on my door one day and asked if he could possibly come inside and revisit the home in which he had lived over 55 years ago. It was a pleasure to show him around and to hear his recollection of things that had happened within those walls many years ago – some of which were eye-openers. I never saw him again because he was visiting from the other coast, where he now lives. Still, he told me tales of the house and neighborhood I won’t forget.

11. A kind stranger.

Had a long conversation one afternoon in Washington Square park with an old man who saw me looking at pigeons and started talking to me about bird behavior. We wound up talking for like 3 or 4 hours and he was pretty wise and kind of eccentric, never mentioned any family or anything. I never saw him again.

12. Bonus points for great comedic timing.

When I was around eight, my mother and I were at a bank standing in line behind a guy with two fingers missing on one of his hands. He caught me staring and started telling me a long winded story about how he’d gone to a gator show in Louisiana. The tamer did a trick were he had the gator hold its mouth open as he swiped his hand between the teeth thee times. He then offered a cash reward to anyone in the audience who could repeat the trick and the man telling me the story had volunteered. He went up to the gator and had it open its mouth. He swiped his hand through and nothing happened. He swiped his hand through again and nothing happened. He swiped his hand through a final time… and nothing happened. The man then told me to always make sure a lawnmower is off before I try to unjam it.

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15 People Ponder How Much Damage Someone Can Take Without Dying

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? In video games, the most damage you could take before it’s “Game Over” is right around 99HP (maybe 98, if that particular game’s health bar tops out at 99 points).

These 15 people muse on what, if any, real-life equivalent exists.

#1. Terrifying.

Seizures.

They’re god damn terrifying

Edit: I’ve read a number of your stories. They all prove my point.

#2. Your life flashes before your eyes.

Missing a step while going down the stairs. And when you think you finished, but that last step came out of nowhere and now your life flash before your eyes

-99HP

#3. My daughter was going to die.

Being told your child is going to die.

I’ve been told on three separate occasions that my daughter was going to die. As I write this, she’s upstairs asleep and she’s fine, but let me tell you – when you look into a Doctor’s eyes and they tell you your child is not long for this world ……-99HP

This blew up a bit, and thanks for all the well wishes. She has navigated a bunch of open heart surgeries with various complications from them but is doing great and has a great future prognosis.

#4. Is it game over?

Choking on food when no one is around belongs here as well, will I be completely fine in 15 seconds or Is game over for me?

#5. In the middle.

A car crash in the middle seat

#6. To the ankle.

taking a scooter to the ankle.

#7. My left everything.

I got T-Boned by a Semi.

Provided that you can’t recover from 0hp, it was a solid 99.9

Since somebody asked: Semi blew a red light as I was pulling out of the hospital I worked at. The ED crew ran out, shoveled me off the asphalt, and ran me inside. If it had been anywhere else I’d have bled out before an ambulance arrived. It broke my left everything, including ten ribs, many if which wound up in my lung, one of which is still unaccounted for. I was fortunate enough not to suffer any spinal damage, but I did lose my left leg below the knee. I’ve made a mostly full recovery, less the.leg and significant lung functionality.

Obligatory: I got spread across the road like so much red paint and all I got was this lousy silver gold showered with internet riches <3 <3 <3

#8. Loser, you.

Pinky toe versus the corner of the bed in the night.

#9. Short and sweet.

Nut shot.

#10. Severely compromised.

A severely compromised immune system.

#11. Giving birth.

I almost died giving birth. 3 years later and I’m only now back to where I started. We almost didn’t make it a few times during the pregnancy, but we got to term, and then a few major organs decided it was time to ntfo. During emergency surgery, I woke up twice and after, they forgot to drug me at all. I screamed and blacked out for an entire day. Mysteriously, I woke up to the nurse changing my iv in the night. But did it kill me? Nope!

#12. But barely.

This guy jumped on two grenades at the same time and lived, but barely. I think that qualifies.

#13. You’re still alive.

Shot in the head but you’re still alive.

#14. Betrayal.

You bite a pizza and the cheese slides off and burns your chin.

#15. The ability to create new memories.

Terry Wallis want into a coma in 1984 and woke up in 2003. He’s completely paralysed, brain damaged and thinks it’s still 1984. He’s lost the ability to create new memories.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Wallis

I hope I never have to find out for real!

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20+ Security Guards Reveal the Weirdest Things They’ve Caught on Camera

Being a security guard can be kind of a dull job (depending on where you’re working, I suppose). The one thing that livens up the day is seeing all the weird things people do when they aren’t thinking about the fact that they’re in range of a CCTV camera.

Oh yeah, they’ve seen some shit.

“Watched a woman jump off a nearby highway…”

Good God, where do I even start? Been a surveillance operator for 5 years at a casino. Let’s just make a list:

Guy whipping his thing out while going up escalators, leaving a trail off urine. He was sober.

Man, super toasted, thought he saw his ex-wife’s car. Proceeded to stand on and stomp in the hood, then pass out on the windshield.

Saw one cop miss with a taser and tase another officer.

Watched a woman attempt to walk up a down escalator for eight minutes straight without moving. She eventually passed out.

Watched a woman jump off a nearby highway, land, and walk off like nothing happened.

Caught a guy (more than once) using his mobile phone camera to not-so-discreetly take upskirt shots of women standing next to him.

Caught a cashier stealing money. By pretending to sneeze, use the bill as a tissue, then shove the bill down his shirt.

Barfight. Two groups going at it. Random girl not part of the brawl grabs a bottle off the bar and tomahawk chucks it at the melee. Thankfully she somehow missed everyone.

Watched a man jump off the roof. Hit the ground and bounced about three feet. Only suicide I’ve ever seen.

There’s probably a lot more I could come up with. After you’ve seen hundreds of attempted cheats, a few people fall over dead, and a guy bounce after falling 12 stories, everything just becomes kind of mundane.

“…She gets EJECTED out of her seat.”

Worked IT for a company. One day, a lot of the head managers of this certain department come barging into my office demanding I pull some footage, serious.

I think somebody is about to get fired so I start scrubbing through footage. Finally, I get to what they want me to see. One of their team leads is rocketing through the office on an office chair when it gets stuck on something in the carpet and she gets EJECTED out of her seat.

She must have landed like 10 feet from her chair. As soon as the scene happens, the group of managers busts out laughing their butts off. I nearly peed my pants laughing, I had never been asked to pull camera footage of something so funny.

The best part is the girl just laid on the carpet while everybody around her in the room collapsed with laughter.

“Immediately my soul crushes…”

One time at work I went to the Starbucks down the street and got a delicious panini. I was so excited for this panini. Double smoked bacon and chicken.

Delish. I was working the closing shift so I was tired and just wanted to eat my panini. I pulled the little paper bag out and what I assume was the heat from the food had melted the adhesive holding the bag together and my delicious panini is now all over the break room floor.

Immediately my soul crushes, then right afterward, I’m like ‘forget this!’ and picked it right back up and ate it. It was delicious.

A few weeks later my coworkers are chatting away and whatever, one of them offhandedly mentions that our GM watches all the security cam footage on the days she isn’t at work.

She wasn’t at work that day my panini exploded everywhere.

She probably saw me eating that sandwich off the ground like a savage, so to answer the question at hand, that.

“He wasn’t there for a minute before some lady arrived and they started having relations…”

I’m the security supervisor overnight at a food dye processing plant. I sit in a guard shack and watch upwards of 20 camera feeds at a time. One night, one of my officers, who is posted up at the other side of the facility, walks away from his shack and goes to an area behind one of the buildings, out of the way.

He apparently thought there weren’t any cameras watching that particular area because he wasn’t there for a minute before some lady arrived and they started having relations, right there.

When they were done, she left and he went right back to his post. He had no idea I saw the whole thing. I didn’t talk to him about it, but I called my operations manager over in the office the next morning and told him about it.

The officer wasn’t fired. He was transferred, however. Bull, in my opinion. When an officer can be fired for being late, they should be fired for abandoning their post to meet with a lady of the night.

“The guy just took his hand out of his pocket, grabbed the goose by the neck, snapped it…”

Used to work security for a mall back in Kansas City, that city was chalk full of geese when it wasn’t winter. One day one of the store clerks called me up and told me to get animal control to dispose of a dead goose in our parking lot.

I went to the front to check it out and sure enough, there was a dead goose lying in the middle of the parking lot. Called animal control and they had it removed from the premises. Out of curiosity, I went into the back and started viewing the cameras for the parking lot thinking the goose may have just died of sickness or somebody accidentally ran him over with their car.

Nope.

Apparently, this particular goose wandered onto the parking lot and started terrorizing anyone that got near him. If you’ve encountered a goose before, you would know how much a mean bird those things are.

Everybody that came out of the store basically had to walk around the goose to get to their car, except for one guy. This dude, wearing a striped sweater and khakis, holding a bag in one hand and his other hand in his pocket started walking straight to his car.

He literally didn’t care at all that the goose was flapping his wings and honking at him, telling him to run off. The guy was about 4 feet from the goose when the goose started charging him trying to mess him up.

The guy just took his hand out of his pocket, grabbed the goose by the neck, snapped it, dropped the body in the middle of the parking lot and proceeded to get into his car and drive off.

I don’t know why, but the way he just nonchalantly snapped a goose’s neck with his bare hand and left its body for dead sent a chill down my spine.

“5 min later she would come out adjusting her skirt…”

I worked I.T. at a company that had cameras on the shop floor. The boss called me in to watch a video and get my opinion on what I thought was going on.

So the night shift had one lady working and 6 guys. When things slowed down in the middle of the night she would walk over to one of the guys, whisper in his ear, and they would both go into the girl’s bathroom together.

5 min later she would come out adjusting her skirt and the guy would follow with a huge smile on his face. Over several hours she did this with each of the 6 guys and it appeared it was a regular thing.

I said it looked like she was sleeping with everyone in the place. Well, the boss fired her for the possibility that it would lead to a harassment lawsuit.

Later I found out what was really going on. Seems she was the local weed dealer and hid her stash in her panties.

“I ask the store manager why he didn’t fire him…”

I used to work in loss prevention at a very large retail store. I had been finding wrappers and discarded packages in a place called the fixture room.

This is where they keep all the peg hooks, shelves, and racks to display products. Not many people go in there so I put up a hidden camera thinking I would catch someone stealing stuff.

Around 1:00 am a guy walks in, pulls his pants down and rubs one out all over a shelf leaning against the wall.

I show the video to the store manager and he said that the guy was his 3rd shift supervisor.

As he watches the video he starts getting mad… at me for showing it to him! I take it to my boss and he tells the store manager to fire the guy. Two weeks later I come in early one morning to see the guy clocking out.

I ask the store manager why he didn’t fire him and he said, ‘I talked to him about it and he explained what happened.’ I said, ‘Ok I gotta hear this one!’

The manager explained, ‘He had been drinking and smoking weed before he came to work and was just out of his mind. So he’s not a pervert or anything.’

The manager then told me that as punishment the guy had to clean everything in the fixture room, on his own time (unpaid) and had to submit to 4 random screenings the next year (which never happened because the manager is a cheapo).

The guy got promoted to assistant manager a year later!

“He even had a sheath on his belt and everything.”

I was staying overnight at my hotel security job in downtown San Diego one night and noticed that a homeless man had something shiny in his hands but I couldn’t determine what exactly it was just by looking at the cameras.

So I dispatched a security guard to investigate and it turns out that this guy was carrying a machete. Not a large knife. An actual life-size machete.

He even had a sheath on his belt and everything. I told my guy to keep his distance and I called the local police.

Minutes later the police show up and I got to see them in action.

They kept yelling at him to drop his machete but he was on a different planet and wasn’t hearing a word they were trying to say to him. When they finally had enough, the cop with the launcher shot him with a beanbag round and leveled him to the ground.

He dropped his machete and another cop came in and punted it away from his reach. They pinned him down and arrested him. It was awesome to watch.

“He just walked out of the building carrying the pizza box…”

I didn’t catch him in the act, but I watched a guy steal my pizza.

I was working the night shift on a Friday night and ordered pizza for my lunch. I had leftovers which I put in the staff-room fridge so I could have it for lunch the next day.

Saturday evening I come into work, I work until lunchtime, then go to grab my pizza only to discover that it is gone.

Like what!? So I check the camera feed. During the day some random guy came into our office, went to the staff-room, and stole my pizza. He just walked out of the building carrying the pizza box and the day shift guy didn’t even notice. No questions just walked in and never heard from again.

I am not sure how someone could have that level of confidence.

“This didn’t stop a middle-aged lady who cycled through every day…”

I work in IT, had to splice a video from our CCTV into our CEO’s end of year presentation.

The company had refurbished the car park, which used to have an all-access footpath running through it.

There was no legal right of way there, so they got rid of the footpath and put up signs saying it was private property.

This didn’t stop a middle-aged lady who cycled through every day, and regularly damaged parked cars with her bike when she squeezed through narrow gaps.

The alternative route was literally 50 yards out of her way to go around the car park rather than through it.

So, bigger signs go up. This is PRIVATE LAND, NO ACCESS etc.

As part of that, they install an automatic barrier. To get into or out of the car park, you have to keep your company ID badge on a sensor, the barrier raises, and you can drive through.

Cyclist lady just ignores everything.

Cycles up to the new barrier, and WHAM, her bike goes under it, and she doesn’t. She gets up, walks up to her bike and cycles off again, up the road.

The next day, they’re investigating damage to the barrier, and have a look at the CCTV.

They can’t believe she hasn’t seen the bright red and white barrier. While they’re reviewing the CCTV, she comes in again from the other direction, and WHAM.

Exactly the same thing happens again.

They run out to check if she’s OK. She refuses all help and runs away with her bike. She knows she’s not supposed to be going through here and has now made the same mistake twice.

She now goes around the car park instead of through it.

“I saw two suicide attempts, one successful.”

Worked casino surveillance for several years – so I have a lot of stories. Saw a guy receive a BJ at a roulette table, saw a couple get it on in a crowded bar.

I saw a guy get stabbed, and saw two people get hit by speeding cars. I saw a lot of people vomit, saw a lot of people pee – especially in the elevators.

Saw a guy who was drinking trip on an escalator, catching himself on the side, then slide down a 50-foot moving rail, spinning the whole time, then land on his feet without spilling his drink.

I watched people cheat at blackjack and various carnival games. I saw two suicide attempts, one successful. I saw a casino cashier stuff two hundred dollar bills in his sock.

He was arrested. I saw a waitress twerking upside down in the well, she slipped and landed face first on the tile and was unconscious for about 20 seconds.

I saw a kitchen worker slice her hand while cutting lemons – blood everywhere. She wrapped it in a towel and continued cutting the lemons with the same knife.

She put the finished lemons in the fridge then went for medical attention. I saw a brawl in the craps pit that ended with a mostly naked woman riding piggy-back on the cop that tried to break up the fight.

She was arrested and the rest of the brawlers escaped to the parking garage where the fight continued. Last I saw, another semi-naked woman was hanging on to the hood of a car as it drove away, slamming her shoe on the windshield.

That was a fun job.

“Then he picks it up and just hurls it into the pool.”

Saw a guy once get out of our pool, he dries off and is carrying his pool noodle. He does the look around, sees he’s alone, then starts smacking it against the floor.

He folded it in half and then starts punching it. He then twists it and tries to punt it. It untwists and flops to the ground so he missed. He goes to pick it up, doesn’t get a good grip, stands up and it’s not in his hand.

Picks it up, tries to punt it again, flops to the floor as he missed again. Then he picks it up and just hurls it into the pool.

He stands there for a second, has a look of defeat, goes back into the pool, fishes it out, dries off and proceeds towards the locker room.

“…Then all of a sudden just casually reached into the back of her pants…”

I worked in a supermarket, not as security, but one day stocking shelves my manager and I noticed a strange smell, we couldn’t find the source so we kept working.

A couple of hours later and it was still hanging around, eventually we emptied the last trolley of stock which had been sitting in an aisle for a while (small supermarket) and we found a blob of human poop on a box of cat food, and then two or three more on the shelves next to the trolley.

We checked the cameras and there was this seemingly normal 50 something year old lady, walked in, put a few things in her basket, then started walking / waddling oddly down the pet food aisle and then all of a sudden just casually reached into the back of her pants, pulled some poop out, chucked it on the stock trolley, walked another few paces and did the same then from memory she even proceeded through the checkout and out of the store.

The manager asked me to clean it up to which I offered my immediate resignation (as a joke, he was my mate but there was no way I was dealing with that) so he had to clean it up and we ended up throwing out a lot of stock and most of the fruit and veg stock.

I’ve told so many people this story, I still find it so bizarre to this day.

“Bathing in the sink.”

I worked as an assistant manager at a grocery retailer. The store was closing and there were a few employees left. I’m finishing paperwork and happen to look up at the monitor displaying 16 different cameras.

The one in the deli caught my eye because I happened to notice the deli employee filling a sink.

Didn’t think anything of it and kept on going with my work. Looked at the time and was thinking, okay everyone should be out. Look through the cameras and see the girl in the deli…

Bathing in the sink.

The dread comes over me. What… What do I do…

I wait until she’s done, burn the video, sterilize the sink, bleach the sink, pour boiling water over the sink, and scrub it until my hands hurt, then leave the store in night crews hands.

Next morning, speak with the store manager and show him the video.

Pull the girl upstairs and let her go for violating all sorts of health and safety violations.

Turns out, her water was turned off and she needed to bathe for her date…

With her parole officer the next morning.

Things people do when they think others aren’t watching.

“When I came around the corner, there was a girl completely naked…”

I was working the desk at a gym in a large sports facility that was connected to a high school. There is one section that shows a hallway known as ‘Trojan alley’ because of all the high school kids who went around a corner and had relations.

One day I see a foot kinda sticking out from around the corner kind of twitching. I thought a member of the facility had fallen or had a seizure or something.

So I grabbed a first aid kit and ran over. When I came around the corner, there was a girl completely naked with her laptop open and filming herself messing around alone.

She slammed the laptop shut, grabbed her clothes and stood up very embarrassed. I was equally embarrassed. Neither of us said anything. I just turned around and went back to my desk and I’m assuming she left.

I feel bad because that must have been so scarring yet I legitimately thought there was a medical emergency so I was very thrown off as well.

“… In the center of an ice rink, naked, with nowhere to go.”

I worked in IT for a resort that had an ice rink. Two guests decided to bone in the middle of said rink at like 1 in the morning. Thing is, those cameras are motion detecting because it’s dangerous.

Security office immediately gets an alarm if they detect anything. So Security had to go up there while they were mid-act and ask them to not… Unfortunately, their situation had placed them in the center of an ice rink, naked, with nowhere to go.

Security had to watch as they carefully and awkwardly put their clothes back on and removed themselves from the rink.

“… He leaned the cane against the rail and started to practice…”

A middle-aged man who always walked with a cane got into an elevator at the end of the day. Fairly big elevators. The guy was always nice but pretty unseemly.

After he got in the elevator, however, he leaned the cane against the rail and started to practice what looked like (and I later checked with a friend) a taekwondo form.

When he heard the elevator ding at a floor to stop, he grabbed the cane, went back to his demeanor and walked out.

I found out later that the guy worked in a dangerous profession and makes himself seem weak.

I’d be terrified to mess with that guy.

“… What took the cake is one morning around maybe 7-8 AM…”

My old job was on a busy boulevard with an alley in the back. We had an open garage with access to said alley.

We used to often catch people doing weird acts, doing/selling stimulants, guys urinating, even saw one couple take turns relieving themselves beside our AC unit…

But what took the cake is one morning around maybe 7-8 AM a man was walking by through the alley, stops suddenly, goes into our garage, lights a candle, and sets it there by the wall and walks away.

It was so odd getting there and seeing a randomly lit candle. Checking the footage only left us with more questions.

“In this video, a guy takes his streetwalker…”

I hang out with our security guard a lot and spend time in their office at our hotel messing with them. There’s footage saved that they show to our new hire guards to see if they can handle things professionally.

In this video, a guy takes his streetwalker (a $100 an hour one, super dirty and cheap) and takes her into an alley by a function room where we had a camera.

They get to it, and he straight away pulls down her pants and starts to eat her butt. This goes on for five minutes or so until you see the door open behind them, and our HUGE Polynesian guard standing behind the guy.

The lady runs off laughing instantly, leaving her poor client to put on his pants and clean up by himself

“Sure enough around 3:30 am I noticed some movement by one of the fences.”

I worked at a car dismantler and people would break in and steal catalytic converters, radiators, and other valuables.

I noticed a pattern of break-ins on Wednesday mornings around 4 am.

So, one day I decided to catch the perp. I locked myself into the office around midnight, called up the local PD and explained to them what I was doing.

Sure enough around 3:30 am I noticed some movement by one of the fences.

I watched him cut a hole in the fence and start to wander around. He started to stash things by the hole. I called the cops and told them what was going on, but asked them to hold off on arresting him until he was outside the fence.

I watched as five cars pulled up in the parking lot next door. The perp pushed the stuff through the fence and I told the dispatcher OK, now get him!

They caught him and arrested him.

The reason I wanted to wait till he was outside is that it was then burglary and trespassing. If they had arrested him inside it would only be trespassing because he hadn’t left the premises with the parts.

I later got a letter of commendation from the chief of police.

“The owner just screams NOT THOSE TWO AGAIN!”

Not me, but a story from somebody who helped set up remote logins for a security company.

He was on a remote session with this one local bar. Typically normal but he wanted this whole suite of cameras, a lot more than what he thought was normal.

Going through the entire process of setting up the equipment, testing the DVR and having the owner walk through every cam. Now on the phone going over some information and the final checks my friend notices some people slip in through the back.

Since it is the middle of the day just as the bar is about to open he assumes they are employees. Then these two guys just start going at it. Shell-shocked at the brazenness of it he just kinda stares for about 30 seconds.

Now the owner notices my friend isn’t responding and asks what is wrong. He finally tells him ‘uhh there are two guys in the first floor back hallway…ugh just having relations.’

The owner just screams ‘NOT THOSE TWO AGAIN’ and bolted from his office. My friend watches the owner run full sprint from his office through the bar towards the back hallway.

They must have heard him as they start pulling up their pants. Just as he arrives they bolt out the door and he chucks his phone at them full force.

Of course, now the owner has just destroyed his phone and cut the call.

“We put grease there.”

I worked at a thrift store. We had a furniture storage semi-trailer out back where people would also drop off donations during the day. It was so common for people to break into the trailer we just stopped locking it.

It’s a thrift store and we never prosecuted because frankly it just wasn’t worth it. One day me and a couple of guys decided if they want to violate our property we’ll make it a bit more enjoyable for them.

We rigged up a bucket of water on top of the semi-door and tied it so it would fall when the door was opened. Then we also had a big dumpster there that was regularly looked through so we put a couch up against the dumpster positioned in a way that there was only one obvious place to put your hands when you climbed up the dumpster.

We put grease there.

For us working at the thrift store and never getting revenge on the countless thieves it was an enjoyable experience to watch their plans fall apart for at least one night.

“I caught the door slowly opening by itself!”

I worked security at a large hotel chain. Part of my job was to keep track of storage room visits, by kitchen staff and other employees. There was a camera watching the big metal door of the storage room.

One day as I returned to my office I noticed the storage room door was open, which was odd because only I had keys for it and I hadn’t opened it that day.

I checked the camera and on film I caught the door slowly opening by itself! No one was there and no way the wind could unlock a heavy metal door. Showed my boss and he told me not to mention it.

Although word got out and some of the more superstitious employees avoided the storage room. There had been 2 suicides that previous year, some said it was related to them.

Whoa. Just whoa.

I never want to be a security guard ever.

Never ever.

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15 Students Share the One Detention That Was Totally Worth It

Few things terrify kids more than one word: detention.

Not only will their parents know they screwed up, but now they have to go sit in a room and basically do nothing. Well, besides homework. And that’s if you’re lucky. Some detentions are completely silent. Those are definitely the shittiest.

But sometimes when revenge is involved… those detentions just fly by.

Here are 15 stories of students who got back on those who had wronged them, and didn’t mind serving the time because they definitely did the crime.

1. “Because she couldn’t hold a pencil.”

I beat the crap out of a boy twice my size in 3rd grade for teasing my friend – another girl who was severely physically handicapped, in a motorized wheelchair, who had to use a computer to type because she couldn’t hold a pencil.

School had a no-tolerance policy for fighting – the principal said he understood why I did what I did but next time not to fight on school grounds…so the next time it was at a playground near the lake.

I didn’t get in trouble for that one, though the police were called.

2. “I was never bullied again after that…”

After being bullied a lot between the ages of 8-14, I finally snapped as I was ‘walking away’ from a bully and he said, ‘Keep rolling, fatboy,’ in front of a girl I liked.

I turned around in a blinding anger and hit him so hard that I broke a few bones on my hand, and his nose, He fell back and landed in a puddle of mud and started crying.

Fast forward to sitting outside the headteachers office after I was reported for fighting, and out walks my favorite teacher, who apparently saw the whole thing and argued in my corner, meaning the only punishment I got was a weeks of lunchtime detentions.

I was never bullied again after that incident and I just wish I had done it sooner.

3. “During the next class, she wouldn’t leave me alone.”

A teacher in our chemistry class had been acting aggressive and bullying towards students all year. If anyone asked for help, she would always call that person a condescending name or something.

At one point, I literally heard her say to a student: ‘I don’t give a (censored) when you get your homework in!’ and at another point she accused me of trying to tell her how to do her job after requesting more time to do homework.

Yeah, half the time her insults and accusations weren’t even related to what was going on.

She seemed to especially target me, and one day we got into a major argument over a late homework. I was feeling rather guilty for some of the things I’d said in the heat of the moment and went to apologize to her during lunchtime.

She asked me what I was apologizing for and I said I wasn’t sure but I’d clearly annoyed her and was sorry for it, and she basically told me to bugger off and leave her alone.

During the next class, she wouldn’t leave me alone.

Every two seconds she was going, ‘Are you doing work or just daydreaming,’ ‘Turn to the same page in your books as the rest of the class,’ ‘Are you even listening?’

Eventually I get sick of it and finally call her on her crap: ‘Okay now you’re just being condescending.’

She goes into a fury, spends a full five minutes berating me and sends me out of the class, telling me to wait outside.

Half an hour later she comes out, asks me what I was thinking, and accuses me of being, and I quote, ‘out to get her.’ I try to defend myself and she says, ‘Okay, you can return to my class now, sit down in your chair and not say a WORD to me for the rest of the year.

Or, if you want to argue with me, you can gather your stuff, get out of my class and not come back.’

I told her I DID in fact want to argue with her, that she was being totally unfair, then went inside, left, and went straight to the head of school to tell him everything that had happened.

Long story short I was in the very next lesson with her and she didn’t do a thing against me for the rest of the year.

She did however move on to bullying another guy in the class who had the same name as me (I wonder if there’s a connection there).

I tried to defend him where I could though and eventually we both managed to be rid of her as we dropped chemistry next year.

4. “I brought an extra change of clothes hidden in my backpack…”

I had a teacher who would not let anyone go to the bathroom the entire year, so the last month of school, my friends and I got so fed up with it, I decided to take action.

I brought an extra change of clothes hidden in my backpack and drank three bottles of water at lunch.

During class that afternoon, I asked the teacher if I could use the restroom, and of course, she responded with the usual ‘no,’ so I said ‘ok’ and just urinated all over myself and the desk.

Since I had an extra change of clothes, it was only uncomfortable for a little bit.

The look on her face was worth it. Now she lets any and everyone go to the bathroom as needed. You’re welcome, America!

Basically, I wet myself during class at school to make a point to the teacher to let people go to the bathroom during class.

5. “At the end of it, everybody stood at the street in front of the school yelling…”

I once instigated a whole revolution in my (Catholic) school.

We had an horrible math teacher that nobody liked, and when he took vacations, they brought a substitute teacher that was really great, so we did a petition with signatures from students of all grades for the school to keep her as the official teacher.

I was the head of the movement, so I went to the principal with the ‘document’ to show our efforts. She laughed at me and told to get out of because students don’t have the right to demand such things.

I went back to class crying (7th grade) and my classmates became really angry that the principal had treated me like that so everybody got out of the class, started to call the other students in all classes to join then and they did.

At the end of it, everybody stood at the street in front of the school yelling that the principal was a jerk.

I was in serious trouble after that but totally worth it.

6. “GAME OVER! WE WIN! BIGGEST UPSET IN STATE HISTORY! Nope.”

My senior year, our boys basketball team is in the playoffs, playing the number one seed. They were much bigger, faster, and stronger than us. We didn’t have size, but we made up for it with good ball skills, shooting, and defense.

We tie the game with about eight seconds left. As they’re coming down the court with the ball, their point guard dribbles the ball off his foot. It’s about to roll out of bounds when our MVP grabs it and takes it in for the easy lay up just as time expires.

GAME OVER! WE WIN! BIGGEST UPSET IN STATE HISTORY! Nope.

The ref on the opposite base line says our guy kicked the ball and the opposing player in the process.

Their ball, double bonus, we’re effed. The thing is: our guy wasn’t even close and had started retreating to set up a perimeter defense in order to stop penetration and force a longer shot.

HE WASN’T EVEN CLOSE! Of course, everyone goes nuts and there is a meeting among the refs. The original call stands, everyone is booing their faces off, and our coach begins arguing the call with one ref while the kid buries his foul shots.

To top it all off, there was only .3 seconds put back on the clock. The ref says there will be no more extra time and as they are fixing the clock, the chanting starts…

I started this chant earlier in the year.

It goes like this: ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’ I know, it makes no sense, but it was different and fun and I was in high school, what can I say?

So I start this chant.

LOUDLY. I’m literally screaming at the top of my lungs. Within about ten seconds, our entire bleachers section is wailing and the students all come as close to court side as possible with me, and start screaming, ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’

It was so loud that no one could communicate on the court.

Imagine about four hundred people at the top of their lungs, in a high school gymnasium. Then, our bench players start in!

It was epic! The refs keep trying to wave us off and are blowing their whistles like wild, so they can confirm the clock is right and/or game is over.

The ref in question turns to the scoreboard guy and gives a ‘THAT’S IT!’ type of motion. We’re still going nuts with ‘oats and beans.’ The refs are trying to leave the court and our bench stands up to block the entrance to the locker room.

We storm the court, surround them, just screaming ‘oats and beans, beans and oats!’ as loud as we can. They push through us and into the locker room.

It didn’t stop there.

About a hundred students followed them into the locker room, ‘oats and beans-ing’ it all the way. We followed that jerk out to his car and never stopped.

He ‘retired’ after that season.

I was suspended for three days for inciting a riot after the guy threatened to press charges for ‘psychological abuse.’

The best part: the superintendent of the district comes to my house on the last day of my suspension.

My parents were angry, but I was a senior, good student, and already accepted into college, so I didn’t get it too bad. The superintendent goes on to sit us all down and tell us how lucky I was that there wouldn’t likely be legal repercussions and whatever.

I go to my room so he can talk to my parents alone, then my mom calls me back down to say goodbye. He shakes my mom’s hand, my dad’s hand, then mine and says, ‘Son, you’re going to change the world.’

At the end of the year, I was given a $2000 ‘spirit’ scholarship and the entire school chanted ‘OATS AND BEANS, AND BEANS AND OATS!’

when they announced my name at graduation. It was amazing and made everything worth it.

7. “I relished in the look of her disgust…”

I went to a K-8 Catholic school. Our school lunches were pitifully small, same portion for 1st graders, as for 8th graders.

The lunch ladies understood that the portions were small and would often let students get second servings, which they were otherwise going to throw out.

I went to get some extra salad. Rather than giving me an additional serving, they just gave me the remaining, heaping mound of cheap iceberg lettuce drenched in Italian dressing. It was seriously probably several pounds of salad.

I had no intention of eating the entirety of it, but a teacher caught me eating the leftovers and said I had ought to finish it otherwise it would be so wasteful.

At that point it became a competition to prove her wrong. I had to stay probably an extra 10 minutes to finish munching down the pile of salad. When I finished, the teacher called me a pig and gave me a detention anyway.

I relished in the look of her disgust and gleefully took the detention.

8. “I could feel the chair vibrate under me…”

I was in class in high school and a female student asked to go to the restroom. The teacher replied, ‘No, that’s what passing period is for,’ and didn’t let her go.

This ticked me off something terrible, because the student was a girl and might have had women issues, so I came up with a plan.

I held all of my farts for a whole day until the next class with this terrible teacher.

Being on the football team and on a high protein diet, it was very hard, but I did it. When I got to the class, I waited about 5 minutes and asked to go to the bathroom, I received the same snide remark, so I bent over as much as I could and let go the loudest, longest fart in my whole life.

I could feel the chair vibrate under me and the whole class burst into laughter.

I was immediately sent to the office which was great for me, because I’m sure it smelled like a dead whale that had been beached for a month.

I received five days of in-school suspension for farting in class, and had to do extra workouts for missing football practice. It was worth it.

9. “Our principal’s attempt at therapy didn’t work.”

To make a long story short, there was this girl who was a complete jerk, bully, and overall horrible to me. One day, after years of harassment, I took a permanent marker and drew all over her sweater, arms, and face.

This prompted a week’s worth of detention, but she didn’t get off scot-free though.

The faculty knew that this was a long time coming and gave her detention as well. This, however, meant that the two of us spent a week of our school year sitting in the office with the principal, talking about our issues.

I also had to pay for half the price of the sweater, which was pretty expensive, especially to a elementary-schooler.

Our principal’s attempt at therapy didn’t work.

We still openly hated each other, but the week of detention and the money was all worth it because she never harassed me again. Instead, it turned into a cold war.

She knew that if she ever poked me hard enough again that I wouldn’t be afraid retaliate with nuclear fury, like I had done before.

Needless to say, it stopped a lot of the other bullies from messing with me too. Being the runt of the class, the remainder of elementary school was rather relaxing.

10. “I started running as fast as I could straight at him…”

When I was in 4th grade, this annoying 3rd grader kept messing with me. He would run up behind me and try to knock me down all the time. Especially since he was just a 3rd grader that was trying to bully me, it ticked me off, and I decided to end it before it got out of control.

I saw him standing there doing nothing like an idiot one day at recess and remembered how much he had been bothering me.

I started running as fast as I could straight at him from across the play ground, and knocked him flat on his back. He got up and tackled me, and we rolled around on the ground wrestling for a little while before one of the recess monitors saw us.

I got in trouble and had to write, ‘I will not fight’ or something like that 25 times during one recess. He never bothered me again after that, though.”

11. “The class was silent for a few seconds…”

I had this witch of an English teacher in 9th grade who had a horrible temper and would always victimize boys for no reason. One day she gave some vague instructions and the class just looking at her puzzled.

She said, ‘Don’t look at me like I’m naked!’

The class was silent for a few seconds until I covered my mouth as if I was about to cough and spouted, ‘Gross!’

The class erupted with laughter and I got a week of detention. After the first day, an assistant principal found out about the situation and called off the rest of my detention.

12. “One day she picked on the fat kid sitting next to me…”

I got kicked out of class for making a substitute teacher cry.

For background, the teacher was horrible with the class. She told students they were dumb, talked down to them, and was all around just not good for a healthy educational environment.

For example, we once watched a movie on space exploration and and after part one, I talked to her about how we could just put bubble structures on a planet with an atmosphere.

Put plants in there, slowly expand and increase until they covered the whole planet. She laughed at me, told the class how this would never work and continued with lesson plans.

The next day, we watched part two of the film and it went over the idea of terraforming using structures where they gradually increase size of structures to alter the planet to make it inhabitable…

Sure, they also said it would take an extremely one time and be super costly so not a very viable option, but nevertheless I felt vindicated.

Anyway, one day she picked on the fat kid sitting next to me and I lost my cool.

I stood up from my desk and proceeded to berate her, telling her that she shouldn’t be allowed to shape the minds of children, that she was awful at her job and how I truly believe she should look into another occupation.

After some choice verbal jabs, I got sent to the office.

After I left, she burst into tears. I feel my outburst was justified.

13. “I found out two years later that the bully of a gym teacher was fired from his job…”

I was in 8th grade and our gym teacher picked one student per class to make his personal slave. I wasn’t having any of it, so everything he tried I was able to one up him.

The final straw was when we were throwing frisbees and he threw one at me. At the last second he said ‘Heads up!’ expecting me to get hit in the face.

I don’t know it happened but without looking I grabbed it, spun around and whipped it back at him fast enough and hard enough to give him a bloody nose when it cracked him square in the face.

He sent me to the principal’s office where she while laughing her butt off about it, but she had to give me a three-day suspension due to ‘attacking a teacher.’

I found out two years later that the bully of a gym teacher was fired from his job due to multiple students, from several years, coming forward and claiming physical and verbal abuse.

So it was totally worth it to get that bully out of teaching.”

14. “…Held up a brazen middle finger, and walked inside, ignoring his demands that I stop.”

In high school, my dad dropped me off out front after all the buses had left. The vice-principal was being a jerk for no reason and giving my dad trouble for ‘parking’ in a bus lane (when in fact he had not violated any rules).

It was clear the VP was trying to pick a fight. After a brief heated exchange, my dad drove off, and I heard the VP mutter ‘scumbag’ under his breath.

I stood in front of the building, waited for the VP to turn around and see me, held up a brazen middle finger, and walked inside, ignoring his demands that I stop.

I proceeded to dodge detention until I was pulled from class.

Basically, I flipped off vice principal in front of the school. Felt great.

15. “So I had taken my belt off as some sort of make-shift weapon…”

Some kid was stealing money out of the locker rooms every day after school while sports teams were practicing. I skipped cross-country practice one day and hid in the shower area in an attempt to catch them.

After waiting for over an hour, I finally heard someone enter.

I didn’t know what I would be up against, so I had taken my belt off as some sort of make-shift weapon (just made me feel safer). I hear the sound of velcro separating, and I knew I had finally caught him.

I ran out to the locker area, and he flung the wallet in his hands away and immediately pretended to be opening a lock on the locker. The culprit was this tiny 8th grader (our junior high was connected to our high school).

As he sat there fumbling with a lock, I just stood and waited.

Finally, when it was clear to him that he wasn’t fooling me, and that he didn’t know the combination of the locker he was trying to open, he looked up at me.

I started yelling at him, telling him how many people wanted to kick his behind. The wallet he was opening was one of my friends, who was in open gym nearby.

I told him to wait there unless he wanted trouble, and got my friend.

Ultimately, we started trying to extort the money he had stolen over the last few weeks with threats, because we were concerned that if we turned him in we wouldn’t see a dime.

Finally the kid turned himself in, because he didn’t have any of the money left, nor a way to make the money, and was legitimately concerned we were going to hurt him.

The discipline lady said something I’ll never forget, ‘you just can’t do that.

I’m glad you did, but you can’t take the law into your own hands. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to give you detention for this.’ She asked why I didn’t turn him in, so I answered her honestly.

She asked us to get a list together, and made his parents pay up. All-in-all, totally worth it!

Basically, I caught a kid stealing and extorted money from him rather than turning him in.

I wish I had a story as good as any of these, but I don’t. I was such a good kid back in the day.

What happened?! ?

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12 Seriously Weird and Awesome Shower Thoughts

I gotta be honest with you: I LOVE reading shower thoughts. In case you’re unfamiliar, those are the totally random but also slightly mind-blowing thoughts that you have when you’re in a relaxed state, like when you’re in the shower (or really, really stoned).

Here are 12 of my faves!

1. The robot uprising is real.

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2. And too aware of EVERYTHING

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3. Absolutely true

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4. Mind seriously blown

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5. Perfect observation

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6. It probably was a man’s idea. Bravo.

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7. Magical powers can do wonders for child behavior. Just sayin’

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8. The irony

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9. “Downton Webby”

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10. If this is true, why are their humans living in Antartica??

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11. Crazy thought!

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12. Not sure I’d want to know

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What shower thoughts have you had lately?

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People Raised in Cults Reveal the Moment They Realized Things Weren’t Right

I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to grow up in a cult. Thankfully, my family was relatively normal in this aspect. That’s why these responses from AskReddit are so fascinating.

1. No learning

“When they said I couldn’t go to college.”

2. Demons

“I’m Pentecostal still, (NOT APOSTOLIC PENTECOSTAL) but the UPCI one is I consider a cult. UPCI guy was praying for me to remove the “demons” from my head that were causing a ringing and loud blaring in my ears. I would hear a constant “WOOSH” and experience moments of deafness. He kept saying, “They’re going. They’re gone. You’ll feel it soon.”

I was like OK. Nothing happened. I got prayer. I should be fixed. Then for weeks I kept praying that God would “remove the demons.” Then I had a dream that I was freaking out about demons and the blaring was incredibly loud my parents were yelling at me something about “It’s Your BRAIN. It’s medical.”

Well, I woke up and realized that I actually had just started taking a new form of birth control for my skin called Tri-Sprintec, which sounds like something out of Black Mirror, and so I threw it out and I was fine again. About a week later the ringing and temporary deafness stopped and I was able to go back to ordinary life.

My grandmother was part of UPCI as well. They refused to baptize her because she was wearing earrings. (Totally unbiblical.) I should have noticed something back then.”

3. Creepy

“Oh there was little doubts all the way. But I guess I found it most odd that full grown adults couldn’t answer simple questions. “Why does God kill babies” “why did god hate black people until society changed their mind” “if God is humble why do we praise him” ect. Me and my friends were like 12 or 13.

We would constantly ask questions like these and never got an answer that wasn’t “God works in mysterious ways” “or you should have faith. I was Mormon. It’s straight up a cult. The members are so brain washed they can’t even see it. Looking back it’s all so f-cking creepy.”

4. Awakening

“When I smoked weed for the first time and realized nothing was wrong with it. I eventually went down the rabbit hole and read as much as I could about Mormon church history. I know the Mormon church isn’t as culty as many other “religions,” but it does at least have many cultish aspects to it.”

5. Impure thoughts

“Where do I even start?

I guess the whole not speaking in tongues make me a sinner, regardless of any other factors.

That if I have any depressive thoughts I must be possessed by a demon.

That any impure thought I had meant I was going to hell and needed to drop to my knees and ask for forgiveness

Any other of denomination of Christianity was going to hell specially those Methodist and Catholics.

Was not allowed to have friends because they might bring some kind of sin into my life.”

6. No freedom

“When the leader, whom claimed to be freedom of speech, started suing people who said stuff he didn’t like.”

7. Sounds like brainwashing

“When I realized all the books at our home were from the same obscure publication house. And I wasn’t allowed to read Harry Potter.”

8. Scam

“As soon as paying them was obligatory.”

9. Cultish

“Calling it a cult might be a stretch, but I was raised in an incredibly religious household and went to a pretty intense evangelical church most days of the week. My parents put me in just about every club/ group the church offered. Between youth group, bible study, church services, young adults group, AWANA, etc. I was there pretty often. Anyway my parents didnt have enough money for a private christian school, so public school was really my only escape from my super christian environment.

Sophmore year of high school I was taking a government class and we did this exercise to see where people stood on certain issues where the teacher would say heres a topic, go to the left side if youre for this and right side if youre against it.

Then someone in the group would have to give some reasons why they thought that way. I stood alone on one side of the room on probably 3 out of 4 issues and when I had to defend my choice, there were just too many times when my only reasoning was ” because god/my parents say so”.

That gave me some pause to think about why / if i really believed those things at all. It didnt instantly shatter my faith but it was definitely the moment my opinions started to change and I began to analyze why/what I was being told. I realized I didnt actually believe/ care about most of the things I was standing for.”

10. Had no idea

“When the only non-baptised kid in my school appeared.

I didn’t even know baptism was not compulsory in the entire world or that other religions and no religion at all were things that existed. Also, he was so relentlessly and violently bullied that he had to leave school.”

11. Niscience

“My mother was an avid follower of Niscience. She made my sister and I attend the meetings for Niscience. Part of the meetings was that you used your own Niscience name (my sister thought of it as a second middle name) and during certain prayers you had to use proper arm motions to salute the particular direction.

I was 8 when I realized no one else had a different church name or did prayers with specified motions. I stopped going to the meetings, told my mom and sister it was a cult. Within a month they both stopped going as well, although my mom prayed and practiced daily at an alter in her bedroom for another couple of years before quitting.”

12. Sketchy

“When the pastor talked like a stereotypical Kickstarter campaign to fund the church (which was not poor to begin with), with obscenely high goals expected of middle class at best people.”

13. Cut off from the world

“Whenever I figured out that my friends at my school were having birthdays, and Christmas, and Halloween, and how I wasn’t allowed to go my friends house…because my parents didn’t want me to see a functioning normal life. (Grew up in a cult-like Jehovas Witness religion) got out of it around 11. Now 15.”

14. Science is wrong

“My parents and their cult maintained that stars could no longer be born because ‘god was done creating’ – I’d just done some stuff about stellar formation in school. Mentioned it in passing, and the denial was astounding.

“They are lying to pull you away from Jehovah” (what they call god). Typical.

I said “A new star is born every 10 minutes or so, and some of them are visible through a telescope. You can look at it for yourself.” – for which I was accused of blasphemy. It was not a pleasant experience.

When you choose to silence someone instead of looking at the evidence they have, you are only showing how much you fear what they have to say. Their desperation to avoid hearing undeniable science was the tip I should have seen years earlier.”

15. Escaped

“I don’t know if you can call them a cult, but a lot of people I talk to about my childhood compare it to one. I don’t know if I’m biased because I was raised in it or not.

I realized something was wrong when I was about 12 and I was being told that my whole life was gonna be get married, have kids, be a housewife. Oh and if you can do that by 19, great. I’ve always been creative, mainly writing stories, and they started taking that away. My whole purpose was to make babies and serve a husband. I wasn’t allowed school after 5th grade and I wasn’t allowed contact with the outside world.

It was rough. I’m out now, though! And if you’re reading this and you think you need to escape from something like this, whoever you are, message me. I escaped August of last year. It took me 5 years, but I did it. You can too.”

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15 People Reveal What Their Childhood Bullies Grew Up to Be

At some point in your life, you probably had a bully. Sadly, it’s just too common of a phenomenon. I remember in 2nd grade there was this kid who’d keep trying to beat me up in the playground and always made fun of the lunches my mom packed me.

Do you remember your childhood bully? Hopefully, it wasn’t you doing the bullying – though if you were, maybe reflect a little on that and apologize? I don’t know, don’t ask me.

AskReddit users shared their personal stories of what happened to their childhood bullies. Let us know if any resonate with you.

1. Acting out

“The bully was just a kid acting out. He’s parents were struggling financially and he had around 7 little siblings. He was probably being neglected and I noticed his younger sister who was about 12 at the time was always taking care of the little ones while their parents worked. I actually bumped into him and a mutual friend years ago and I felt really bad. He lost so much weight and looked like he was definitely taking drugs – I heard a lot of rumours and it looked like it was true.

He couldn’t look at me in the eyes I felt terrible for him. His friend and him disappeared from social media so I don’t know what happened to him now but I really hope he’s okay.”

2. What a story

“Her parents divorced, then her local celebrity dad went to prison, then her mom killed herself, then her grandparents died.

Her dad got out of prison and died when she was almost out of high school. The family money was gone on the divorce, dad’s legal defense and the 2008 housing crisis so she ended up working a shitty job.

She ended up dropping out of college two years in and joining a cult run by a dentist. Supposedly found Jesus, and is still in that cult.”

3. No longer a bully

“He got his sh*t straight, and he’s working as a carpenter. Good for him!”

4. Hasn’t changed

“I didn’t get along with most of my classmates until my junior year. We were from a tiny school and were together since kindergarten. Our junior year we kind of collectively thought, “Well, that was dumb,” and started getting along. All but one are lovely people.

The one that’s not a lovely person? I know because my mom arrested him post high-school. She was booking him and asked him if he had any money to post bond. He said, “I don’t need money. I got bitches.” Sure enough some woman, married to someone else, if I remember right, came and bailed him out.

So, yeah. He hasn’t changed.”

5. The bully speaks

“Well I’m ashamed to say that I was actually a bit of a bully in school, I used to pick on a guy who was taller than I was, I can’t even remember why. One day I finally made him crack and he had had enough and left right in the middle of class to go home.

I felt so terrible I called him that night to apologize for what I did to him. Turns out, we had a lot in common, we became friends, great friends actually, and I was the best man at his wedding. Still best friends to this day.”

6. Uh oh

“He became a TSA agent.”

7. Man…

“Crashed his car in Grade 12 and died.”

8. Hmmmmm

“Most of them are nurses or work in the healthcare field. It worries me.”

9. Classy

“She sells It Works! and describes herself on Facebook as a “business owner, mom, wino.”

10. Depressing

“There was an asshole in my high school who would mercilessly bully and torture a friend of mine who was a stereotypical nerd but a fantastic artist. In our final year nearing graduation the asshole bought a really fancy car and would show off by driving dangerously around the streets. He got into an accident by hitting a semi-truck on the highway. He’s forever bound in a wheel-chair, while my friend became an animator at Pixar.”

11. Catfished!

“She ended up being caught as a catfish on the T.V. show. My old school mates had a field day with that.”

12. Top 500

“My bully who convinced everyone that I’m a nerd and that I should be bullied because I played videogames is now like top 500 in overwatch or something while I’m stuck in diamond lol.”

13. Maybe trying to make up for her past?

“She became a school guidance counselor. ? “

14. OMG

“There were many, but probably the worst of bad seeds didn’t make it much past high school. He was dicking around with a pistol at a party and when called on it said “What?! It’s not even loaded!” before putting it to his temple and pulling the trigger. Needless to say, it was loaded.”

15. Sad story

“He hanged himself in jail.”

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19 Stories That Prove Karma is a Real Bitch

They say what goes around comes around, and having grown up in the Hindu tradition, the concept of karma has always been a part of my life. I always try my best to treat others with kindness for exactly that reason.

While karma may not always happen as immediately as we’d like, it catches up to everyone eventually. Don’t believe me? Check out these 19 AskReddit users who shared these stories of terrible bullying – followed by lip-smackingly satisfying karmic revenge:

1. Quick Turnaround 

I once got punched in the pregnant stomach by my ex-fiancee (not the father of my baby). I told him that I hope he got hit by a car. Three days later I found out that he gotten hit by a truck while riding his bicycle to a friend’s house. He survived but had to have extensive surgery to correct his broken bones and save his life. He was uninsured so now he’s stuck with crippling hospital debt from being in ICU and having surgery. I did not have to wait very long for that one.

2. True Irony

There was a kid at my secondary school who used to mercilessly bully the kids in Learning Support.

Being a small school, they converted the old caretaker’s house into a safe environment for the people with learning difficulties to take certain lessons and receive support. It allowed a sorta half mainstream half specialist school environment for them.

Anyways this guy dropped out of school at 16 after 5 or so years of smoking around the back of this house and bullying the kids in LS.

3 years go by and he ends up being shot in the head by a modified air rifle. He now has some brain damage, memory and dexterity issues…and the only place he can retake GCSE’s is the same old house he spent years prowling outside to bully disabled kids.

3. No-Good Teacher

My English teacher in my 11th grade high-school English class fucked my entire life over in some strange way. She basically accused me of plagiarizing a paper in class. Honest to God I did not do it.

She called me a liar to my face, and ruined a lot of my life for a few good years. She reported the incident to the administration, and she tried to make them take legal action. But all I ended up getting was expulsion. My school took this stuff really seriously.

In the long run, it basically caused me to lose five or six scholarships that I really needed for college. I ended up having to go to community college. Nothing wrong with it, but she basically killed any chances I had at become a doctor (childhood dream, spent all of high school prepping for it.) I got most of my general stuff out of the way, and I have a great job now giving out loans at a bank. It pays well enough, but I don’t live any grand life, and I am not a doctor. On top of that most of my friends made fun of me for years about it.

One year after she accused me, her husband cheated on her. The year after I graduated, she got fired for being drunk on the job. About a month ago, the best thing ever happened. Guess who walked into the bank and asked for an extension on the loan she just recently took out to pay for her house? And guess who got the extension denied?

Needless to say, karma related or not. It was one of the highlights of my life!

4. “He should never have said no to me at all”

I was one of the least popular kids in my high school by far. I was too nerdy for even the nerds to hang out with. I spent most of my time with the outcasts.

I knew it was bad but I had a crush on a football player. (Can you blame me? What nerd didn’t?) I decided for once to take charge and do something for myself.

I asked him out.

He laughed in my face and told me I was too ugly for anyone to ever date. Called me ‘crow face’ which was a lovely nickname that caught on for a long time. Because of this, I had such awful self esteem and well into my 20s, I still couldn’t ask anyone out and even now still get to embarrassed sometimes. He ruined my self esteem completely.

After high school I began doing modeling gigs and cosplay events. I felt great and looked amazing.

Not too long after these shoots started popping up online, he messaged me on facebook telling me how gorgeous I looked and that he should have never said no to me at all.

I then got to calmly explain to him the years of self esteem issues I’d suffered from him and how I always pictured him humiliating me in front of our high school any time I wanted to ask someone out.

5. Two Decades Later

When I was about 8 and my brother was 11, he got in trouble for punching a kid in the face on the school bus (my brother claims he was defending someone else…I don’t really remember it all that clearly). My brother paid the price, was banned from the bus for a while, faced repercussions at school, and my Mom made him apologize to the kid he punched in person. A couple of months after the incident, the mother of the kid he sued my parents for mental anguish, claiming that her son now had crippling emotional problems stemming from the incident. She showed up at board meetings, tried to get my brother expelled, painted a picture of my family as shady and my brother as a delinquent and violent.

My parents ended up escaping the legal battle with a little bit of dignity intact, but feeling ostracized in our community of 90 people.

Fast forward…I’m now 27, my brother is 30. My Mom sends a newspaper clipping to him in the mail…it’s the indictment of the mom from our childhood. Come to find out, she had been embezzling money from her employer for 5 years…totaling more than $50,000. May have taken two decades, but she finally got what was meant for her.

6. “I had grown and changed so much, and he had stayed exactly the same”

A boy at school was an absolute asshole to me and my group of friends. I was raised as a fairly introverted kid, and thus gravitated to people of a like mind. He could basically smell the pacifism on us and exploited it to no end. Kicked the crap outta my friends and I every chance he got, humiliated us in front of the class, basically assigned us to the lowest social rungs for most of our schooling year. The relentless intimidation and thuggery reduced me to start hiding in my shell. I would prefer to read in the library than play or eat during lunch, lest his roaming bring us into contact again. Without a word of a lie, I read over 300 novels by the time I had finished school, and had sparked a life-long obsession with literature.

My own bio-father was a bully and violent, and it burned into me a deep-seated hatred of anyone who resorts to preying upon the weak. Daily I would fantasize about murdering him, or at least crippling him so he could know what it is like to be helpless. It is wrong, I know, but until you are in that situation, you never know. Leaving school and going to university led me to be a much more confident person, and I slowly learnt that you can be confrontational without someone being violent to you.

Fast forward to some 8 years after school. One Friday afternoon he walked into my place of business looking for something we sell, and (due to the nature of our business) revealed that since leaving school, he had been caught stealing a car, gone to juvenile prison (due to age), got busted for drug possession, more convictions etc., and been living at no fixed address. (I am in Australia, so the courts can be pretty weak and forgiving sometimes. Not that I care in this case. That he got some punishment is enough for me). We were his last chance for this particular product.

Before you judge too quickly, we had been at a fairly expensive private school, so he wasn’t exactly a down-on-his luck hobo to begin with – he had just never once stopped making bad decisions despite the opportunities given to him.

I projected an outwardly professional demeanor, (internally gladly and gleefully) and denied him service, and sent him dejectedly on his way. (I was required by policy, and had no actual authority over the choice, but it still felt good).

The best part? He didn’t recognize me. He looked at the man serving him, and only saw a man. I had grown and changed so much, and he had stayed exactly the same.

Looking back, it may be bad karma for me to take such pleasure in this. However, it gives me hope that sometimes the bad guy loses in the films AND in real life. I suffered a fucked up school/social life for 8 years because of him, and do not regret feeling some schadenfreude at his demise.

7. Facebook Friends

A guy I went to high-school with ‘friended’ me on Facebook. He was caught stealing from my house once back then, bragging about it to mutual friends (whom he thought would not tell me). After the incident we never spoke, although we had the same circle of friends, I kept my distance, he kept his.

Flash forward 20 years to now and we were ‘friends’ on Facebook. I have a pretty cool job in the music industry, good money and I travel the world. I usually add these former ‘friends’ just so they can see my life turned out pretty awesome while most of them are in our old home town working shit jobs…anyway.

He updated his status saying that he was devastated that someone stole something from his son and karma this, blah blah blah. Amongst all the posts from his friends being sorry for him, I simply wrote something like ‘Yeah, it’s really terrible when someone steals from you eh? That must really suck. Karma does have its way of evening things out though.’ I immediately started getting PMs from mutual friends congratulating me, who remembered the incident in school. He ‘un-friended’ me after that to my extreme pleasure.

8. Growth Spurt

I was a really small freshman in high school (like 5’2″) and looked like I was probably 12. I was always picked on for being the smallest. I transferred to a private school and fast forward 3 years and I go to a party with all the kids from my old school. I see one of the kids that always had it out for me because he was bigger at the time. Im now 6’1″, obviously a lot bigger than before. So he talks some shit to me and I give it back. He shoves me and without even thinking I one punch ko’d this dbag in front of about 80 people. Everyone thought I was a hero and then smoked some bowls with old friends. Great night.

9. Online Dating

This dick who used to torture me when I was in 7th grade, insisted I was ugly and should kill myself, is now on OkCupid. A few weeks ago, before I got into a relationship, he asked if we went to school together and told me I was hot. He didn’t recognize me, clearly, but it was delicious to know he’d been searching for months and no one was biting.

10. “Bullying sucks” 

I befriended a larger red headed girl when I was in grade 3 or 4. She was new to the school, everyone had their own friends and no one accepted her. I didn’t have many friends so I gladly accepted her. We became best friends. Fast forward to middle school. She was still large but got boobs and wore makeup, so she became popular. I was still a way too tall and too thin awkward girl with a lisp. Everyone made fun of me and she joined in so she could be cool. It got worse and worse until she started instigating it, would circle beat me with other girls and egg my house.

Fast forward again to high school. I filled out a bit and got better friends. About half way through grade 11 people started realizing how mean and fake she had become and turned on her. She was crying in the hall one day and I went up to her, asked if she was ok and offered my phone to her if she needed to call her mom. She transferred schools for grade 12 because she was being bullied. Funny thing is, I still feel bad for her. Bullying sucks.

11. Two Years

In 8th grade (age 13-14), this kid threw a wooden block at me, probably thinking, ‘Oh, let’s pick on the punk girl, that’ll be so hysterical!’ I blacked out for a good 10-15 seconds after it clocked me in the head. When I came to, he and his friends were all on the ground laughing at how funny this was. I ended up having to go to urgent care and not participate in gym class for a few days. His mom was on the school board and had a large role in the financial decisions of the school, so the administration was afraid to punish him and did nothing. My math teacher was this kid’s football coach and made him run extra while everyone else got to take a food/water break, but that was the only justice I got.

Fast forward two years: everyone is freaking out that this guy can’t play football for the JV team that year. He ended up spraining his back and breaking a few ribs from a drunken escapade into the woods the week before his sophomore year started, and the concussion that he sustained from this was severe enough that a second concussion could have caused serious mental damage.

Two years isn’t that long of a time, but considering there were witnesses and the kid should have been arrested and suspended at the very least, it seemed like a long time.

12. Dojo

A few years back I was the assistant manager at my karate studio. It was a slow, quiet day, when in walked Paul, my old bully from public school. I wasn’t sure at first, it had been a long time, and it was hard to tell.

I didn’t say anything. Paul was interested in joining the dojo, and I showed him around, discussed pricing, etc. I didn’t treat him any differently than I would any other potential client.

At the end of the tour, Paul decided to join our dojo. We sat down in the office and he filled out the paperwork. When he wrote his name out on the application, I knew for sure that this was, indeed, my old bully. The guy who used to torment me every single weekday. Who made me kneel in dog shit.

I still didn’t say anything until after pre-paid me for an entire year’s membership. As I walked him to the door, I smiled.

‘I’m really looking forward to training with you.’ I smiled.

‘Thanks, me too,’ Paul said.

‘You don’t recognize me, do you?’

‘No, should I?’

‘Yes. We went to school together, Grade 3 through 8. You bullied me every day, and made my life miserable. Can’t wait to see you in class.’

Paul went white, and walked out without another word. And never walked back in. He willingly threw away a year’s membership payment, almost $500, rather than have to be in the same class with me.

13. Riding the Bus

A high school bully humiliated me on the bus. I was the last stop on the bus, so there was always a lack of seats. I got on the bus and spotted one empty seat next to someone. I walked over and sat next to him.

He turned to me and said ‘I didn’t say you could sit there.’ I replied ‘There were no other seats.’ I guess he didn’t care, because he repeated his previous statement. I just ignored him.

Then he shouted at the top of his lungs ‘GET OUTTA MY SEAT!’ I was taken aback. I couldn’t believe he just shouted that on the bus at me, the situation felt surreal. I saw everyone on the bus start to look in my direction.

I froze up. I started weighing my options. I knew I couldn’t take this guy in a fight. As you should be able to tell from this situation. As I’m still pondering what to do, he shouts again ‘I SAID, GET THE OUTTA MY SEAT!’

Then before I can find a way out, he kicks me out of the seat. I stand up in the middle of the bus and I’m met with roaring laughter from all the other kids on the bus.

The bully stands up ready to fight, and I just walk away. Even if I was able to beat him in a 1 on 1 fight, I knew he was the type to come back the next day with 5 of his friends to beat you to a pulp.

I walked to the back of the bus and sat [there]. I wasn’t about to let things end like that though. So, I planned for my revenge. I started catching the city bus to school, instead of the school bus to avoid further humiliation. Things blew over eventually and everyone forgot about that incident…but I didn’t.

I waited until one day, I saw that bully on the bus with a grill lighter smoking weed. Then he took the grill lighter and smacked a guy in the face with it, and he started crying. I knew this was my chance.

I created an anonymous email address and sent an email to my school officials. I told them about the bully smoking weed on the bus and smacking that kid in the face with a grill lighter. I made sure not to say anything that could give my identity away. That way, no one would know who ‘tattled.’

The school investigated the issue and found the evidence they needed from eye witness testimonies on the bus. That bully was expelled from school and I was free to ride the bus in peace.

14. New School

When I was 8 my parents moved us out of our hometown to a place with some room, couple of fields that type of thing, not more than ten minutes out of town, but because of the district boundaries I had to switch to a new school. The new school was about 1/8 the size of my previous school and all the other kids had been going to school since grade 1 or something together (hell they could of been friends before starting school for all I know) and here is the new kid in grade 3 with them and they didn’t like me…for whatever reason. It started harmlessly enough but over the next 2 years thing escalated quickly from the random name calling, a couple of pushy shovey matches to rocks being thrown at a bus stop.

My parents had always told me fighting is not the answer and I stuck to that while keeping my mouth shut about the bullying, until my little sister got hit in the face with a rock and had her forehead cut open. Everything came out after that incident and the teachers? Didn’t do a thing. My father finally had had enough and told me the next time someone [messed] with me I was to fight back, no matter what. So that started a 2 year war with me going home at least once a week suspended for fighting with someone, I got knocked around a bit at first but quickly learned I had a natural ability for fighting. Things got worse, instead of fighting one on one it would be three or four of them. Once I got choked out from behind so bad I had bruises around my neck and I had basically lost consciousness when a parent finally saw and broke it all up. Two kids got a talking to from the cops and nothing more was done, It took actual death threats from one of the kids that was bothering me the most on my parents answering machine to have him expelled from school. Once Douchebag got expelled things calmed down.

Fast forward 3 or 4 years…we are in high school, douchebag from before basically is a burnout first year doesn’t do much, gets suspended, doesn’t show up much. I don’t touch drugs, do my homework and play sports (hockey, football, rugby). The odd time he has harassed me but nothing too major I shrug it off, I’m coming into my own in high school, good group of friends etc. To this day I don’t know what possessed him to do this but myself and a few friends were outside at a party our senior year and I am looking at my friend talking and he shouts ‘watch out’ and I instinctively try to duck and luckily bring my shoulders up a bit, caught a baseball bat to the shoulder, which jumped up and smashed me in side of the face on a glancing blow. I went down to one knee, majorly rattled but still mostly with it and turned around too find douchebag holding a bat and looking at me like ‘how are you even still conscious?’ At this point, I lose my [mind], came off the floor with a righteous upper cut that knocked him on his [butt] and then jumped on him and rained down I’m told upwards to 40-50 punches while he feebly tried to block. Finally some people who came to their sense hauled me off him.

The final result was interesting, I ended up with a very nasty bruise on the side my face and shoulder, hurt like hell. Went for X-rays nothing was broken etc. luckily. Dbag on the other hand ended up with a broken nose, lost 3 teeth, fractured jaw, and countless cuts, two HUGE black eyes, and a ruptured the blood packages on the side of his eyes. The cops never got involved and that was the last time he ever, well anyone actually, ever fucked with me in high school.

Fast forward a couple of more years(8 more like it) , last time I had heard dbag was hooked on crack, selling it and sold 5 kg to an undercover cop and is in prison for 5-10 years. Karma is GREAT.

15. They deserve each other…

My college roommate secretly slept with my boyfriend while I was at class for a year (I routinely took more than a full course load and was in math/science classes or study groups every morning). One day I walked in on them screwing when class was cancelled. Moved out. More angry at her than heartbroken. Lost most of my friends through the breakup.

Fast forward 5 years later: those 2 throw an expensive engagement party at the guy’s parents’ beach house (attended by some still-mutual friends). She caught him boning one of the waitresses for the catering company in a bathroom before the toasts. They still got married.

16. “She screwed herself”

My mom treats me worse than my younger brothers, and it eventually always bites her. My favorite is the time she saw it coming.

See, when we were teens, my brothers were always allowed to borrow my mother’s car, but I wasn’t. My grandmother even warned my mother that she would need me one day and I’d tell her no. Mom blew her off because why would she need me, and it’s not in my nature to say no.

Fast forward a few years later when I have a car and my mom gets into an accident that leaves her temporarily car-less. Mom never asked to borrow my car even though she wanted to because she knew I had every right to say no, and she admitted it and apologized because she screwed herself over not being nicer to me as a teen.

The thing is, it’s not in my nature to say no. If she had asked, I would have said yes. Her guilt was the karma.

17. CYANIDE & HAPPINESS GUY!

True story. I got bullied for roughly seven years straight daily when I was in secondary school (second level education in the UK/Ireland, taken from the ages 11-18). I had kids tell me I should die and I was emotionally destroyed by everyone who treated me like the most useless, void piece of crap. I didn’t feel like I should exist. I sat at home contemplating just ending it a lot.

I always loved art, drawing and writing. During my adolescence I retreated to the Internet. I didn’t want to go to clubs where those people were, yet could still talk to people. I started posting animated Flash cartoons and comics to other people who were like me for critique. Due to the bullying directed at me, I developed a rather sad sensibility towards life and an ability to quickly come back verbally at anyone who wanted to give me abuse. It was a defense mechanism for sure, but the tone shown through in the animations and comics that I drew. Through all that, I met friends and eventual co-workers.

I now draw a cartoon called ‘Cyanide & Happiness.’

The local papers write about me. That school held an assembly in my honor once recently (I was told this by a friend who now works there). I live overseas and Jonathan Ross comes to hang out with me at Comic-Con every year, where again pictures of us appear in the local paper. My former bullies know all about this. The particularly bad ones now either avoid me in bars now or try to be my best mate, and I walk around my home town beaming.

There was one kid in particular who would stand behind me in assembly every morning (each year – grade to Americans – was arranged into a line in the main hall) and headbutt me in the back of the head for a laugh with the others around me. The back of my head was severely bruised for months at a time, and early on it’d leave me in tears with the physical pain and lack of respect for me. I’d dread every morning. I’d hear them behind me snickering and discussing whether he should do it or not. I couldn’t turn around to stop them, because then I’d get yelled at by teachers for not paying attention to the front. I’d have my hand at the back of my head to protect myself. I’d hear him say ‘c’mon Dave, put your hand down. You’re safe.’ I’d eventually relent and he’d do it anyway. They’d laugh. I’d turn around and ask him to please not do that, because my head was in so much pain from the trauma he’d dealt it before. He said okay, whilst smirking. I’d turn around, I’d hear them snickering and he’d do it. Again. This went on for around two years. That kid is now a hardcore drug addict, and doing very poorly in life.

Feels good man.

18. Cheating Ex

This girl I was dating in college decided to break up with me, saying that she couldn’t handle a relationship at the time. 2 days later, she came running back to me in tears, talking about how she’d made a huge mistake leaving me, and blah blah blah. Me being a sucker for emotions, took her back, and tried to put it in the past.

A couple of weeks later, we have plans to go out, but she calls to cancel at the last minute because she was feeling really sick. I decided to surprise her by bringing her a nice home cooked meal of Chicken Soup and Mashed Potatoes. When I show up at her apartment, I can hear her having sex from the hallway. I pound on her door as hard as I can, and when she answers it, sure enough, she’s wrapped in a robe with her ex boyfriend naked in the living room. I leave the food, tell her to go to hell, and leave.

Fast forward a few months, and I’m at a party, and she’s there with all her friends and some new boy. Any time we were in the same room, she would grab him and start passionately trying to suck his face off to make me jealous (I knew this was her move, because she used me to do it to other guys a couple of times). Later on, her best friend comes up to me (while she’s doing her whole jealousy thing), and asks if I wanna come back to her place. We walk out together without her even noticing. Let’s just say revenge sex is the best kind of sex ?

19. “Wannabe gangster”

I’m a stout guy and I can fight, and nobody messed with me in school. I never messed with anybody else either. However, I took classes for part of the day at another school in downtown Indianapolis, and for some reason, one guy there wanted to start trouble. He and his wannabe gangster friends would mess with me, hang out by my car, etc., trying to get me to fight. I wasn’t interested in a one on five fight, or any fight really, since I was graduating in a few months.

I just ignored the guy, told him to fuck off and it wasn’t going to happen. Eventually he dropped it and tried being nice to me. Didn’t work. Anyway, a few years later, I went to the Yankee Candle store at the mall to get my mom a candle for Christmas. I’m waiting in line, and the guy working the register looks familiar. Took a few minutes to place him, then I realized who he was. When I walked up I kinda smirked, and when he took my debit card to swipe it and saw my name, the look on his face was priceless. Guess he didn’t think he’d be recognized in a different town working a job at 22 years old for $8 an hour. It was sweet.

Thanks for reading!

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