19 of the Most Satisfying Revenge Stories of All Time

Sometimes, people are rude. And rude people are just asking for petty vengeance. I know some of these 19 AskReddit tales of trifling retribution might seem over the top, but rudeness is simply not to be borne – not in civil society, anyway. In my experience, the only way a rude person learns to dial back the sass is by facing consequences. So I cheered as I read these stories, cheered for the cause of justice!

1. He wanted water…

Kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.

2. *GASP*

My sister posted a very anti-LGBT article on Facebook when the North Carolina bathroom bill was passed. She claimed she “no longer felt safe” shopping at Target if she might “be forced to use a bathroom” with a trans person. (The horror!)

So for her wedding the following month, I got her a Target gift card.

XOXO,

Your very gay brother ♥

3. That’s only fair

Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.

So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back.

He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.

4. lol, nice

My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS.. but anyway, I still have login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show “Cheaters.” Petty, but it makes me laugh.

5. Pop pop!

When I was a kid I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch “Handbook” – it was full of kiddie experiments and stuff and was pretty fun.

My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the ‘tricks’ from the book.

You fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, the kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil.

I put it under her bed, it takes a few days to “work”, so I completely forgot about it, until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering – it had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.

6. Mild irritation is the most fun level

My wife is very picky about the mugs she has for different hot drinks: Tall mugs for coffee, wide mugs for tea, dainty cups for fruit teas.

When she’s being irritating and asks for a cuppa she gets very plain, boring builders mugs and I delight at the mild irritation it brings.

7. Hello, Jim from The Office

Speeding up a coworker’s double click speed and watch him squirm when his normal double clicking speed isn’t working.

8. That’s a good point to stop

I once had a colleague I didn’t appreciate, so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would mess his curser right up. Kept it going for like 2 months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop.

9. Eff that guy

I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the prof told me tough luck.

Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions.

I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight up write stuff that makes no sense.

An example of the crap I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer’s factorial (4.22).

If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.

He retook that class.

10. What’d he do to you??

Listing a Playstation 4 as brand new on multiple second hand goods websites, for $50. I used my old landlord’s phone number as the contact number, ‘cos that guy was malicious.

He had to change numbers.

11. These are…genius. You’re a genius.

I have two with a previous landlord / property management company.

I signed a lease on a townhouse while in college that “included high speed internet” … the setup was basically one awful router for 14x townhouses (so like 28 people). Needless to say it was crap, and the location of our unit vs. the router made it worse. We made some calls to try and get them to add a router or hardwire us in so we could add our own. No dice.

Eventually I paid to get my own service and added 2x routers in our unit. I changed the SSID to match what the “free” router was, and kept the passwords the same… so to the residents it looked like there was better coverage.

After about two weeks I changed one router’s password and just disconnected the other. So some residents could use the “free” router, some had a bad password, and some could connect but couldn’t reach the outside world. They must have been flooded with calls because within 24 hours they had someone out and added 3x new routers to help with coverage.

The other was after a huge snowfall (~24″ in 24 hours) …. the property management company hadn’t touched the snow in our parking lot for days … after day 3 I called to mention we were sort of trapped and they needed to send trucks / snow blowers / etc to take care of things… the response I got was basically “Sorry, we’ll get to it sooner or later”.

… side note – years ago if you opened a yahoo email, you could add a second email for recovery without confirming it.

I created a new @yahoo email address and used their general @Xpropertymanagement as the alternate email. I had it copy every email to both. I then signed up for alerts for every time there was an ebay listing for “snow plow” “snow blower” “snow shovel” or there was a “sale on X snow removal” gear…. it took a matter of hours before thousands of emails were sent. Ended up crashing their email server.

They responded to all residents with a very nice email explaining they get the frustration, and they’re working on it…. so I paused the alerts. 24 hours later, still nothing, alerts back on. Another email, another pause, another day of nothing, repeat. Eventually we got the driveway plowed and life was good.

12. That’s crappy! 

We had a guy in our office take a crap in the bathroom every day after lunch and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn’t listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork so 5 minutes before he went in I took all the toilet paper…. that’s right. I forced the man to live with a dirty bottom.

13. Playing with Himself

I used to work as a sound tech part-time at a nearby bar when studying for my computer science degree. It was great fun and even kinda relevant to my degree (and gave me a great excuse to binge on audiophile equipment).

So basically every Friday night we would give a slot to a band from the college to perform for an hour or so, and this rich guy’s son would always turn up in some band or another. He had all the fanciest gear (Fender Strat, distortion pedals, etc.) but his technique sucked. But to anyone who would listen, he was the next Jimi Hendrix blah blah.

One thing about this guy was that he loved to pump his volume through the roof and play these crunchy chords with the distortion amped to the max, in the process drowning out the rest of his band members.

So instead of hooking up to the mixer and then through to the PA system, I just routed his signal through to his in-ear monitors, and every time he performed his “solo” he would gyrate around the stage for no apparent reason.

Really the most petty thing I’ve ever done, but revenge is sweet. (I heard he still plays amateur guitar through the grapevine)

14. Brat

My boyfriend’s uncle and 7 year old cousin live upstairs from us. His cousin has a tendency to be a little brat. I was holding her yorkie when she came over and yanked her from my arms.

No more than 20 minutes later I went out and bought some dog treats. Everyday when I come home I give the dog a treat. Now the dog waits by our door instead of her’s.

15. That’s gotta be detention!

This dude in my accounting class in high school used to ask me for answers to questions, only to spout them to the teacher like he’d worked them out, thereby looking like a genius and getting credit for my work.

One day our teacher comes into class with a pierced tongue and is talking sort of funny. Terry, as his name is, proceeds to use it as a point of conversation. “Hey miss, do you have any other piercings, like your ear?” “No,”, she responds, thinking he’s making inane conversation. “Would you get your nose pierced?” He keeps asking, just to prolong the time before class starts.

As usual, he leans over asking for help. “What are some other good things to ask her?” I was annoyed that he always asked for my help to benefit him, so I thought I’d have some fun. “Labia, ask if she’s going to get her labia pierced.” “What is a labia?” he says. “Oh, sorry, it means eyebrow, that’s like the piercing name for it. Like how a tragus is that nose piercing, yeah?” “Oh cool! Hey miss, are you going to get your labia pierced next?”

Every girl, and especially the teacher, in the class looked at him like he was trash, and he tried blaming me, but I brushed it off gracefully.

16. Wrecked

Back when I was studying engineering, it occurred to me to try and find an app on my iphone for those Panasonic projectors in lecture rooms. So I get the app and it just let me connect to the one in the class without a password or anything. I have a friend who is one of those perpetual pranksters, you can’t leave your pc or bag or food/drink unattended when he’s around.

So I beam a picture of him onto the projector, so the lecturer is just talking away and this goofy picture of my mate is on the screen. Lecturer doesn’t realise yet, people in the lecture start waking up and giggling a bit. Now I use the pen function and draw a penis on the picture too. Mate was red in the face and trying to hide. Lecturer finally noticed and says “Michael why is there a picture of you on the screen?”

Finally for a fleeting moment I actually wrecked that dude.

17. …pretty sketchy boss

I had a 6 month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total jerk that treated his school-interns like full paid workers (even gave me some concerning money-responsibilities).

A while after the internship he called to tell me I would have to give a statement at court.

He had a problem with some customer and a shipment and he planned to tell the court that he explained me everything concerning shippings precisely. Of course he didn’t. And of course I didn’t lie in front of the judge. My boss’ attorney gave me a look I will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn’t work out. Few weeks later my now ex-boss tried to call me again. I didn’t pick up.

18. Good, that guy sounds like a jerk.

Work related- My co-worker was always complaining and always lazy with his work, yet he got recognition for the simplest thing he would actually do. He also took credit for a full days work that was pretty much all me. I always got ignored. So one day, I came in early and I unplugged his Ethernet jack just barley to the point it looked like it was still plugged into his computer. For 4 hours he couldn’t do any work. Meanwhile, I got my work done, and he couldn’t take any credit for it since everyone knew he didn’t have Internet access. Half way through the day, he left on break, I plugged it back in and bam, just like this it was working. By then, he couldn’t claim my work, and I begun to get noticed more.

19. PWNED

When I was about 13, I was snooping around my older brother’s room and found a stack of 20 dollar bills stashed away. He was saving up from his high school job to buy a car. Hundreds of dollars. To 13-year old me it was a fortune, and I figured he wouldn’t notice if I stole just one 20 — still a lot of money to me. So I did.

For years I would remember it every once and a while and feel guilty. The worst part was, when I took the 20, he was also a teenage kid and probably knew exactly how much money was there. He probably knew I took one but let me get away with it because he figured I needed it. That made me feel much worse.

15 years later, I’m hanging around with him on the holidays. I see that he left his wallet on the counter, and he’s upstairs. I sneak into his wallet, see there’s a few 20s, and I slide an extra one in there. Got him!

The post 19 of the Most Satisfying Revenge Stories of All Time appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Weird, Wild Family Secrets That Embarrass Them to This Day

Some of these folks had to go through some seriously humiliating situations.

And it all started with a simple question: What’s the most embarrassing thing a parent has done to you?

Enjoy this cavalcade of craziness…

16. “Dad! Why can’t we go to the fair?!?”

Here’s a story that my dad never told me but my uncle shared after my dad passed.

He was madly in love with a girl when he was 17 years old. They were soul mates, lovers meant to be, engaged to be married and grow old together, all that sweet jazz.

They went to the county fair one year and decided to ride the Ferris Wheel. About the time they got to the top and started heading back down the safety bar came unhooked and swung open. My dad grabbed her and held onto the seat. He tried to hold her but he couldn’t.

She fell to her death.

My dad never mentioned it, never said a word to anyone, even to my mom. My uncle said her death broke his heart and he was never the same again, until after I was born.

He would never let me go to fairs, amusement parks, or any place with rides when I was growing up and we used to get into big fights about it when all my friends were going.

He always told me it was just because they were dangerous and didn’t want me to get hurt.

15. This art is s**t!

When I was six years old my mother used to babysit my neighbor Annie. Annie was a very artistic girl; she loved to color and draw everything she saw.

One day, I was playing Star Fox 64 on my Nintendo 64 and Annie was watching. Of course, being too absorbed in the game, I never turned around to see her greatest work of art.

My mom walks in the room to check on us and does a gasp to end all gasps. Annie had made a drawing of a triangular looking ship with a circle around it.

It was Star Fox doing a barrel roll except she made it with a load of diarrhea she scooped out of her pants.

14. The other child…

Apparently, our dad had another kid about eight years older than me.

My mom blurted something out about it after their divorce when she was pissed about something. It was along the lines of, “if he thinks he can forget you exist like that other kid of his.” She then turned very white and I was never able to get more out of her than that.

My dad pretends he doesn’t know what I’m talking about but has apparently told my brother a bit of the story and then backtracked and never talked about it again.

So yeah, apparently I’m not the oldest.

13. The clairvoyant kid!

A few weeks ago, I was getting breakfast ready for my three-year-old when he nonchalantly told me his Grandma fell down the stairs.

About an hour later, Grandpa calls us to tell us Grandma had fallen down the stairs.

Also last weekend, he said my sister was going to visit the next day.

Guess who showed up the next day for a “surprise” visit?

12. Harry Potter trash…

Back in the day (2005) I was 14 and I would print out my erotic Harry Potter fan fiction to read at night, as we didn’t have portable devices like smartphones back then. I always threw them away after.

One day my mom gave me a gigantic see-through bag for trash and that night I read some of the good stuff and then put it in there.

There was probably like 15 pages of printed out smut. While I was at school she rooted through my trash.

She confronted me when I came home like “Why are Fred and George getting intimate with Hermione? What are these stories?? Where do you get them? Are they all like this??”

So so bad. I think I died and I’ve been a ghost for the last 13 years.

11. This one just keeps getting weirder and weirder…

My mom once pulled up my skirt, causing me to involuntarily flash a room full of people, at a family Christmas dinner.

I was absolutely mortified. She wanted to check for any potential self-harm scars on my thighs, apparently. I’ve never physically harmed myself before in my entire life.

I was 18 years old at the time, and thankfully I was wearing underwear so it was not as bad as it could have been.

Nevertheless, she should not be allowed to consume alcohol ever again.

10. Ignoring the eating disorder…

My family never talks about my sister’s eating disorder. She eats a ton and goes on to vomit. She goes jogging for one hour or more per day (every day, no breaks even though her knees hurt like crazy) and refuses to eat any carbs, fruits and vegetables only.

I seem to be the only one who realizes the magnitude of this, and the only one who thinks of this as a sickness, not as a “temporary phase.”

It’s been like this for three years already, and I have no idea when my parents noticed. Whenever I say something I get “shushed” at and later have to justify my “insensitive behavior” in front of my parents. So I just kind of gave up on arguing.

Not sure what I can do to change things without disrupting the family.

9. A dog with amazing comedic timing!

One Thanksgiving, my grandmother ran out of counter space and stuff was sorta burning like crazy on top of the stove. She took out the turkey on the tray, looked around, and put it on the ground for like three seconds.

She intended for it to be there for three seconds.

Her dog, Rosco, had been following her all day.

Earlier she tossed him a turkey giblet, and I guess that didn’t sit well with him. He defecated all over my grandma’s leg, floor, and freshly-cooked turkey in one explosive two-second blast of fiery diarrhea.

8. Who’s the monster?

My three-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother, looked at him for a while.

Then she turned to me and said, “Daddy, it’s a monster! We should bury it.”

I didn’t bury it.

7. That YouTube search history tho…

That when my daughter was five or six years old, she would look up videos of dogs throwing up or stallions urinating, based on her YouTube history.

I never directly spoke to her about this but have always told her that she can always talk to me about any questions she had about any subject with no judgment from me.

She’s 14 now and I still haven’t said a word.

6. Bad, bad, bad dad!

My dad, influenced at least in part by the movie Bad Boys II, decided to mess with my boyfriend on my first date by acting like a tough guy.

He filled a whiskey bottle with tea and, when he answered the door, he started chugging down the whole thing while scanning my boyfriend up and down.

He then tried to break the bottle over his own head. The date was canceled due to the ensuing hospital trip, and I became known as the girl with a totally insane father.

“Don’t concuss yourself this time, Dad!” became the running joke in my house once I was able to get a date again.

5. Grandma, the slacker…

My grandmother said she needed a place to stay one night due to issues with her housemate.

She slept on the couch… for the next ten years.

Made no effort to get her own place despite having a very good retirement income and still working part-time as a nurse.

Loved to hit the casino though!

4. Joke’s on you, parents!

It’s one in the morning. I’m fast asleep with my wife in the living room reading.

All of the sudden, the baby monitor is blaring my 16-month-old son’s laughter into my ear. So I jump up, run into his room, and he’s standing in his crib pointing at the corner of the room and giggling hysterically.

I just stared at him for a few seconds before I grabbed him and put him in bed with me.

3. That last part, tho…

About a year ago, my parents caught me singing to my microwave while I was waiting for it to warm up a piece of pizza.

This all happened at 4 in the morning, when I thought my parents were staying at a friend’s.

Oh, I almost forgot that I was naked.

2. The war at home!

My uncle and grandfather don’t have a good relationship but were tolerating each other because it was Thanksgiving. My uncle was cooking lasagna and my grandfather decided to help, so he grated the cheese. He did this in another room, because the kitchen was full of other people cooking, we have a big Thanksgiving with maybe 15 or 20 who love to eat.

I had brought in the cheese and everything was going fine. Flashforward to dinner time, the food is coming out and, as tradition dictates, we always start with lasagna. My grandfather made some joke like,” I know you hate me, but at least I’m grate,” and stuff hit the fan.

My uncle literally went into a rage and was yelling at everyone because we didn’t tell him he was using “tainted” cheese. Then said “f*** it” and proceeded to flip the table ALL the food was on. Then my grandfather called him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two grown men fist fighting in the backyard, culminating with my grandad getting thrown into the pond we lived off of, and slicing his leg on a jagged rock that he landed on.

The rest of us ordered Chinese food and kicked my uncle out. My grandfather refused the hospital because he had a little too much “holiday joy” in him at the time.

Surprising my uncle hasn’t come to holidays in years now.

1. Hugs, not drugs…

When I was 11 years old, I was taken in by the police for questioning regarding illicit substances distribution that had been taking place out of our family’s house.

My dad had marijuana growing in the basement, and he had been using it as well as selling it frequently to neighbors and friends.

When the police raided the house while my dad was at work, they asked me if I knew anything about what was in the room. Since I admitted to having had knowledge of it, I guess that that was all it took for them to feel the need to bring me in for questioning. They even cuffed me and everything.

My dad didn’t show up at the police station till almost eight hours later.

As you can imagine, in a small town like the one where I grew up, people talked. A lot. It also didn’t help that I lived next to a massive apartment complex where everyone could see what was happening the entire time as it was unfolding.

I was the talk of the town for almost two years because of this incident.

Isn’t it nuts that the last story probably wouldn’t happen these days? Well, at least in some states?

So much time, energy and money wasted on the war against marijuana.

*sigh*

The post People Share the Weird, Wild Family Secrets That Embarrass Them to This Day appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Weird and Funny Habits of Their Pets

All of us love our little furry friends with all our hearts, but that doesn’t mean they don’t do a whole lot of weird stuff that makes us laugh and sometimes annoys the hell out of us.

In this article, AskReddit users share the weird (mostly harmless) habits that their beloved pets have.

1. Oh, Carlisle!

“Ah-ha, it’s Carlisle time! Carlisle is my mentally retarded dog in a very literal sense; he has epilepsy and after seven years of seizures, there’s not a lot going on in there. He was rescued from an extreme neglect/hoarding case and he is now a spoiled, completely mindless little gnome of stupid whimsy. He’s also on about 45 mg phenobarb for the epilepsy every day, so he’s also sort of high all the time.

Some Carlisle stories:

He was once scratching his face with his back leg, yawned, and got his foot caught in his mouth. He needed help getting it out.

He once chased a rabbit, cornered it, forgot what he was doing, and then got attacked by the rabbit (which probably felt this was its very last defense). He now fears rabbits. I have a rabbit in the house. He will not go near her.

He sometimes gets confused while drinking water and urinates in the water bowl.

He sometimes gets caught in “loops” of compulsive behaviors. His most common looping behavior is digging. Unless you reorient him he will sit on his haunches and dig with his front legs pretty much for hours.

Once he got his collar caught on a knob on the dresser and sat there getting slightly choked until I found him. (We had to remove the knobs from the dresser for his safety.)

He has climbed onto the coffee table and shat into a flower pot (presumably because it had soil and he thought he was outside). We can no longer have indoor plants, not even if they’re as small as a coffee can, because he will shit in them.

He gets scared by the pictures of a dogs on the wall in an exam room at the vet’s. We have to request rooms with diagrams.

He goes to sleep if you put a blanket over him like a bird.

He sometimes tears holes through sheets and then sticks his head through and just walks around with it like a robe. Every single sheet and blanket in the house has at least one Carlisle hole.

If the other dog leaves the house he [howls] until the other dog returns. It’s really pathetic, even for him.

As for the non-Carlisle pets of my house, my rabbit and my cat are pair-bonded, which is pretty adorable. The cat likes to bat the rabbit’s ears. The rabbit doesn’t care. She just sort of blobs into a puddle of disapproval.”

2. He loved to eat all kinds of stuff

“Growing up, we had a chocolate lab named Kody. Kody had a few oddities and idiosyncrasies about him.

My parents are beer drinkers, and Kody would learn how to open each and every cooler we ever had so that he could eat all of the ice. That dog LOVED ice, he would eat it until he had what we called “brain freezers” or these mini little seizures (he was fine, but it was a weird habit).

Another time, Kody was out pooping in the yard and we saw a bunch of cloth coming out of his butt. Turns out, it was an ace bandage that had to be surgically removed. Upon opening his stomach they found a silver dollar, a few bobby pins, the ace bandage and a billiards cue ball. Now, here’s the kicker- we didn’t own a pool table, and our closest neighbor was 5 miles away, who also did not own a pool table.

We never did find out where he got that cue ball from. He lived to be 15 years old and passed away peacefully two years ago. Miss you, buddy.”

3. Don’t get mad

“I am not allowed to get mad, If I yell, raise my voice, or even sound angry my cat pumpkin will get up from wherever she is and run over. She will then mew gently and grab at my arm with her paws while mewing. She pulls my hands to her head and rubs her head on me trying to get me to calm down. It works though so there’s that.”

4. He’s helping with the laundry

“I have a giant Maine-coon Siamese mix tomcat. His thing is to bring up laundry from the basement during the night. The weird thing is that he’s pretty good at taking clothes into the right rooms. I don’t know if he does it by smell or what – but it’s pretty normal for me to wake up to a pile of my socks, my daughters some of theirs, etc. He also chirps and meows the entire time he’s making his deliveries – which is pretty funny in and of itself.”

5. That’s unusual

“My cat likes to shower with me. He will sit and drink the water as it runs until i use shower gel, then he will sit on the edge silently judging me for contaminating our lord water.”

6. Takeout

“My dog has ‘takeaway’ every time she eats. She won’t stand at her bowl. She stuffs her mouth full of dry food and then sits near me wherever I am, spits out all her food and eats it one bit at a time. When she is finished it she repeats it all.”

7. Who’s in there?

“My dog likes to sit in the bathtub during the summer, most likely because it’s cooler than the floor or her bed. Totally harmless unless you’re going to the bathroom in the middle of the night and think there’s a killer in your shower.”

8. Girlfriend

“My dog can’t go anywhere without his toy. My girlfriend calls it his “girlfriend”. If we go outside he will bring the little stuffed animal with him and drop it somewhere. If we tell him to “go find your girlfriend” he will search frantically for it until it’s found.”

9. She don’t care

“My pet rat, Doctor, likes to poop when she is hanging from the bars of her cage and making eye contact with me or my fiancee.

She knows it makes us uncomfortable. She don’t care.”

10. Really, really weird

“We have a Great Dane/greyhound mix named Keelah who, on occasion, absolutely must sniff my boyfriend’s belly button. I’ve never seen a dog get so derpy about it before. She’ll jump up and put her paws on his shoulder and stick her nose in his stomach until he gives in and pulls his shirt up so she can sniff. She’s really, really weird.”

11. She’s trying to silence you

“My boyfriend’s cat loves to snuggle up on people’s chests and then slooowly and veeery gently place her paw (with claws out and toes spread) and just .. place it on their mouth.

Does anyone know what the heck she’s trying to get out of this?”

12. Yummmm

“My lardass cat has this weird cake infatuation. (Ha ha I know). Not to eat. She likes to lay on them. I can’t count how many cooling cakes I had to throw out because she decided to take a nap on them. I have to hide them somewhere to cool and frost. I also had to buy a solid cake saver because she would lay on my old one and crush the lid into the cake.

My favorite was when my son turned one, we had the unwrapped cake sitting on the counter waiting for cake time, and she tried to lay in it. When I came in to get it all the frosting is pulled off in the center and one pissed off frosting covered cat under my bed.

Yet she still does it.”

13. Big smile

“My dog smiles whenever he wants something. He started showing his teeth when he got excited to see us after long periods of times (i.e. vacations) and we would say “What a pretty smile!” He made the connection to the word and now will do it on command and pretty much whenever he wants our food.

Kind of like a “hey look I’m smiling, I’m pretty!” Some people probably think it’s bad that he does it because he’s technically showing his teeth, but you can tell it’s not aggressive or in a bad way. I think it’s hilarious.”

14. He folds them, too

“Our golden retriever has 3 comfort blankets that he folds and carries around with him.”

15. Ear fetish

“My parrot is obsessed with ears. He will happily spend 15-20 minutes delicately nibbling on the rim of my ear, carefully scraping his beak around the inside, and licking all over. Last time I saw my doctor for a physical and she got to the otoscope part of the exam, she exclaimed, “Wow, your ears are remarkably clean!” Gee, I wonder why…”

The post People Share the Weird and Funny Habits of Their Pets appeared first on UberFacts.

10 People Who Made Marriage Pacts with Their BFFs Share What Happened

Has there been a rom-com made about this yet? I’m thinking that by this point, there has to be at least one (starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz, perhaps?).

Surprisingly, marriage pacts actually exist in real life – you know the ones I mean, where people say, “if we’re not married by “X” age, you and I are getting married.”

These folks on AskReddit have the stories to prove it.

#1. I wonder why…

“I met someone once who did this for tax purposes. They were already good friends and planned on divorcing if they ever met someone they wanted to marry.

He was confused as to why his relationships never lasted past him saying he was married.”

#2. Hmmmm

“I know a couple that did this, she left her ex-boyfriend to be with the guy. They each promised to marry one another if they weren’t in a relationship when they reach a certain age.

The ex-boyfriend, who is my cousin, was not happy when he got out of prison and saw his “girl” married to someone and has a child. My cousin isn’t smart and wants a paternity test to prove the child is his, for the record he has been in prison for 6 years and the child is 4.”

#3. Still married!

“My husband and I met playing FFXI (an MMO) when we were about 14 years old. We lived one state over, and became good friends – chatting online and on the phone mostly. When I was going through a typical exaggerated end of the world break up where I claimed to be unloveable and alone forever, he was trying to comfort me and said, “if we’re single at 24, we can get married together.” I reminded him of that a bunch of times in the future when both of us went through bad relationships.

At age 20, finally both single and capable of traveling, we went on our first date. It was lovely. We went to a museum and one of the best steak restaurants in the city – however, we totally couldn’t afford the steak. Did two years long distance (USA – JAPAN). Continued dating, married at 26 (two years late!), and went back to that steak restaurant and got the most expensive steak.

Still married and happy. :)”

#4. Awwwwwww

“Ok, so kinda happened… My husband and I were best friends in middle and high school. After multiple failed teenage relationships we made a pact to get married at 35 if we hadn’t found anyone yet.

We lost touch in our early twenties for about ten years.. each with a child and failed marriages under our belts, we reconnected in our early thirties, realized how amazing we are for each other, and have been happily together since. It was a year or two into our relationship when a mutual friend reminded us of our pact…We didn’t get married until 36, but go us? Lol.”

#5. Worked out

“I had this with a girl. The 30 years of age deadline. We hooked up at 25 and got married at 30. Still together.”

#6. The long haul

“We met when we were 5 years old. We had a crush on each other, but we both switched schools after 4 years, and lost communication. We met again in 9th grade and became good friends, but he had a gf. For years every time one of us was single, the other was in a relationship.

So we stayed as best friends, and only kissed once during senior year. Eventually, after a bad breakup, he tells me if we hit 30 and we’re still single we should get married. I agreed.

Fast forward to 10 years after that, and we’ve been together for almost 2 years. Not married, but still very happy.”

#7. You never know

“I made this pact with a very good friend. We’re both in our separate relationships that are both going very strong, and we still talk very often (she’s in another country so meeting up is kinda hard). I don’t think either of us ever believed we would have needed the pact, but at the time it was nice knowing that we weren’t gonna end up alone.”

#8. What a story

“Not successful. She asked me to marry her by 30 when we were both 19. I said sure because I had a huge crush on her anyway. We dated briefly for a summer before she went back to college and have been good friends the rest of the time. She ended up becoming a Catholic sister after college (she takes similar vows of celibacy and poverty as a nun would, but lives “in the world” as opposed to being secluded in a convent) and works for the church in finance.

We still see each other, are both in our late 30s. We have talked about it and she does admit to wanting in the past to be with me romantically again, that I am the only person she has been intimate with, but that she believes strongly in what she is doing and her vows. I love her dearly as a person and dont think of her romantically anymore, but it would be hard for me to say no if she left the church and wanted to see me again.”

#9. Wish I could go back…

“We agreed manybyeats ago if we were still single at 40, we’d get married. Had a 1 year relationship with her at 30, and it ended badly. We’ve spoken 3 times since then, and I’m in a relationship I’d rather not be in almost 10 years down the line. She is still single, and I wish I could go back and fix the problems.”

#10. Mom and Dad

“My parents grew up a few streets apart and played together all the time. They went to different schools and one or the other was always in a relationship or crushing on someone so neither of them really saw each other as an option until they were both dumped on the very same day when they were 17/19 and decided they’d get married at 30.

They’ve been together for 24 years :)”

The post 10 People Who Made Marriage Pacts with Their BFFs Share What Happened appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Share the Places They Think Are Overrated to Visit

For me, I think my answer is Las Vegas.

I guess it’s okay to experience once, but I really don’t understand how people visit there repeatedly and from all over the world.

To each their own though, right? I love Chicago and New York City, but I’m sure some people think those places are NO GOOD.

Folks on AskReddit shared the places they think are way too overrated to visit.

Share your own in the comments!

1. It is pretty dirty

“Hollywood walk of fame. Haven’t seen a dirtier road.”

2. Does not sound fun

“That wing mural in Nashville.. There is literally a line that takes an hour to go take a picture with a pair of wings on a wall.”

3. At least there’s pizza

“Plymouth Rock.

It’s just a rock. It’s not even a big rock, or a weird-looking rock; it’s just a grayish lump the size of a beanbag chair with “1620” carved on it. I didn’t pay anything to look at it and it still was a ripoff.

There’s a nice pizza place nearby though.”

4. Disappointed

“Kind of specific, but I visited the Gold and Silver pawn shop from the show “Pawn Stars” when I was in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago.

Holy shit that place is tiny. Mad props to the production crew that films inside there, because I always imagined it was big and open. It’s basically a single isle from the door to the back of the store with a little side area where the registers and offices are.

I went out of my way to see it, expecting to spend at least an hour looking around. After being inside for 5 minutes I saw pretty much everything and left quite disappointed.”

5. La La Land

“Hollywood! I feel so bad for tourists in LA that waste their vacation time in that dirty hellhole.”

6. Insider tips

“As a tour guide in Paris, here’s my time to shine and help you save time and money:

Avoid Paris In June and July, August. September is best, May comes in second.

ALWAYS, always book your skip-the-line tickets online before going to a landmark. Nothing in Paris is worth waiting 3 hours in line. Instead, go drink some wine and eat some cheese + baguette in a nice park or by the river.”

7. It’s worse…

“Whatever expectation you have of Roswell, New Mexico- it’s worse.”

8. Anywhere else

“Oslofjorden. Please go anywhere else In Norway when you visit.”

9. That sounds like hell

“Times square on New Years. If you know, you know.”

10. Not the real Dublin

“If you’re in Dublin, stay away from the Temple Bar area, it’s ridiculously overpriced and is not at all what a real Irish bar is like at all.”

11. UAE

“UAE, it’s the most culturally deficient place you will ever see in your life!!”

12. Overrated

“Bondi Beach in Sydney. Overcrowded, everything there is way overpriced.”

13. Not a fan

“I was dragged to Dubai to visit relatives a couple of years ago and I could not find the words to describe how soulless and uninteresting the place is. Then there is the unrelenting, searing heat. I couldn’t wait to leave after around 3 days.”

14. That place with the tower

“Pisa.

Besides the small square with the tower where everyone is taking the same shitty joke pic. And guys tryna sell you toys.

The rest of the town is pretty shit. Youre in Tuscany, go to ANY small town and you’ll enjoy it far more.”

15. Sounds horrible

“South Beach/Miami

Over priced bars and clubs, if youre a dude and you dont have a fine group of women with you, be ready to drop serious cash for a night out if youre there. There are better beaches up and down the coast, that wont force you into the terrible traffic and parking SB has.”

The post 15 People Share the Places They Think Are Overrated to Visit appeared first on UberFacts.

People Give Advice on What NOT to Do in a Fight

Even if you believe you can handle your business, you’ll probably make some mistakes if you actually get into a fight.

In the interest of surviving the coming apocalypse (zombie or otherwise), here are some things that rookies often do wrong – just in case you find yourself facing fisticuffs in the future.

15. Have a strategy.

From what I’ve noticed most people that have not had any training just throw as many punches as fast as they can hoping some of them will connect instead of having any sort of strategy

14. Keep your hands up.

Every fight video I see people are just throwing haymakers and it looks like their arms are noodles. Keeping your hands up and throwing a few quick jabs usually takes care of those idiots.

13. Most people think they can.

Think that they can fight.

Most people think they can — they can’t.

12. An amateur would fail every time.

Do something fancy they saw on last night’s MMA fight. If even trained fighters have trouble landing that cool looking spinning back kick or flying triangle every time without fail, then an amateur would fail every time. Also, remember to keep your chin down, hands up to protect your head and remember that you have hips and legs.

11. Mostly.

Mostly the “in a fight” part. But also the lesser-known “The other guy knew a fight had begun, but somehow I did not until I was already knocked out” method. And then there’s the timeless classic: “I mean I never threw a punch in my life, but I lift a little and look how buff I am, where this other kid’s small and wiry af. Easy win” maneuver.

10. It ain’t even close.

I was a bouncer for roughly five years during my college and law school days.

The number one biggest mistake people make, and it ain’t even close, is getting liquored up first. Reaction time is everything and those tenths of a second (or more) you’re losing are catastrophic.

9. Fight on the grass.

Usually one, clean, solid punch to the jaw will end the fight very quickly. It would be recommended if you both are staying on grass or something because knocking out the other guy and him hitting his head on concrete and dying is not something you want to do.

8. A decent hit to the throat.

The guy is going to be throwing haymakers so you need to avoid being hit in important areas like the head, throat and gut. While he’s flailing around you just need to give him a few good jabs up the middle because his arms are flailing to the sides and leaving his middle wide open. A decent hit to the throat will end the fight quicker than you think.

7. You’ll get gassed.

Control breathing. You’d be surprised how quickly you’ll get gassed. Solid way to get yourself ko’d

6. You never know.

Underestimate their opponent by just looking at their size. Look at Johnny vs Daniel-son. Or look at skinny mma fighters and see them in Street clothes. You never know what kind of experience/training they have under the hood.

5. Don’t go crazy.

Try to go crazy and expend lots of energy when not needed to.

4. Lethal street fighting.

Just watch Bas Rutten’s video “Lethal Street Fighting.” It’s outrageously funny, and some of the things he teaches are not wrong. It covers pretty much everything mentioned here, plus a few weird ones like bouncing a guy’s head off the “ambiance” (tables, chairs, walls) and playing “hide the hot sauce bottle” once your opponent is unconscious.

But there’s also serious stuff.

3. Wait for commitment.

90% of the moves I was taught in the dojo begin with the opponent taking a lunging punch. There is so much more to do with a person if they fully commit to a punch than if they throw conservative jabs while keeping their guard up.

2. It’s hard for me to say that’s wrong.

I’ve seen a lot of fights, and been in more than a few. The loser almost always loses because they don’t actually want to hurt the other person, though it’s real hard for me to say that’s wrong.

1. The worst:

Throw hammer fist slap punches

Not lock the wrist properly

Connect with the pinky side of the fist instead of the pointer

hold their arms outstretched at their sides while talking nonsense

Stick their chin out while talking nonsense

Fail to use their elbows, knees, and kicks

Not keep an eye out for secondary threats

Not remain in control of their emotions

Stop before the threat is stopped

watch the opponents eyes as opposed to their hands

Talk to the police without a lawyer present afterwards

Edit: Since this is getting some attention:

Fail to use their hips and their legs to power their punches

Understand basic human anatomy and target the weak points (neck, knees, throat, temple, and etc)

remain stationary as opposed to moving around

only throw punches and disregard chops, strikes, and pressure points

have no understanding of greco-roman wresting or bjj if the fight goes to the ground

not improvise any available object as a weapon for reasons of honor or fairness

reason with an inebriated or enraged attacker

turn their back to an active threat

ask bystanders for help (google bystander effect)

escalate to attempt to establish dominance/social standing

NOT EXITING THE SECOND THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTS ITSELF

CONTINUING AFTER A FIGHT IS OVER

edit II:

I want to be clear that avoiding a fight is the best policy, and every comment above and below me that stated such deserves your upvotes. I may have answered the question best in technical terms, but they are far more correct.

Godspeed, my friends.

The post People Give Advice on What NOT to Do in a Fight appeared first on UberFacts.

19 Creepy, True Stories That Might Ruin Your Sleep Tonight

Ready for some nightmare fuel…?

Have you ever had something happen to you that made your pulse pound and your adrenaline kick into action? Something so scary that you had to take a moment or two to recover?

You may need a moment to recover from just hearing some of these 19 (scary af) true stories from AskReddit. The people who lived them certainly did:

1. Dancing Man

About five years ago I lived downtown in a major city in the US. I’ve always been a night person, so I would often find myself bored after my roommate, who was decidedly not a night person, went to sleep. To pass the time, I used to go for long walks and spend the time thinking.

I spent four years like that, walking alone at night, and never once had a reason to feel afraid. I always used to joke with my roommate that even the drug dealers in the city were polite. But all of that changed in just a few minutes of one evening.

It was a Wednesday, somewhere between one and two in the morning, and I was walking near a police patrolled park quite a ways from my apartment. It was a quiet night, even for a week night, with very little traffic and almost no one on foot. The park, as it was most nights, was completely empty.

I turned down a short side street in order to loop back to my apartment when I first noticed him. At the far end of the street, on my side, was the silhouette of a man, dancing. It was a strange dance, similar to a waltz, but he finished each “box” with an odd forward stride. I guess you could say he was dance-walking, headed straight for me.

Deciding he was probably drunk, I stepped as close as I could to the road to give him the majority of the sidewalk to pass me by. The closer he got, the more I realized how gracefully he was moving. He was very tall and lanky, and wearing an old suit. He danced closer still, until I could make out his face. His eyes were open wide and wild, head tilted back slightly, looking off at the sky. His mouth was formed in a painfully wide cartoon of a smile. Between the eyes and the smile, I decided to cross the street before he danced any closer.

I took my eyes off of him to cross the empty street. As I reached the other side, I glanced back… and then stopped dead in my tracks. He had stopped dancing and was standing with one foot in the street, perfectly parallel to me. He was facing me but still looking skyward. Smile still wide on his lips.

?I was completely and utterly unnerved by this. I started walking again, but kept my eyes on the man. He didn’t move.

Once I had put about half a block between us, I turned away from him for a moment to watch the sidewalk in front of me. The street and sidewalk ahead of me were completely empty. Still unnerved, I looked back to where he had been standing to find him gone. For the briefest of moments I felt relieved, until I noticed him. He had crossed the street, and was now slightly crouched down. I couldn’t tell for sure due to the distance and the shadows, but I was certain he was facing me. I had looked away from him for no more than 10 seconds, so it was clear that he had moved fast.

I was so shocked that I stood there for some time, staring at him. And then he started moving toward me again. He took giant, exaggerated tip toed steps, as if he were a cartoon character sneaking up on someone. Except he was moving very, very quickly.

I’d like to say at this point I ran away or pulled out my pepper spray or my cellphone or anything at all, but I didn’t. I just stood there, completely frozen as the smiling man crept toward me.
And then he stopped again, about a car length away from me. Still smiling his smile, still looking to the sky.

When I finally found my voice, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. What I meant to ask was, “What the fuck do you want?!” in an angry, commanding tone. What came out was a whimper, “What the fuu…?”
Regardless of whether or not humans can smell fear, they can certainly hear it. I heard it in my own voice, and that only made me more afraid. But he didn’t react to it at all. He just stood there, smiling.

And then, after what felt like forever, he turned around, very slowly, and started dance-walking away. Just like that. Not wanting to turn my back to him again, I just watched him go, until he was far enough away to almost be out of sight. And then I realized something. He wasn’t moving away anymore, nor was he dancing. I watched in horror as the distant shape of him grew larger and larger. He was coming back my way. And this time he was running.

I ran too.

I ran until I was off of the side road and back onto a better lit road with sparse traffic. Looking behind me then, he was nowhere to be found. The rest of the way home, I kept glancing over my shoulder, always expecting to see his stupid smile, but he was never there.

I lived in that city for six months after that night, and I never went out for another walk. There was something about his face that always haunted me. He didn’t look drunk, he didn’t look high. He looked completely and utterly insane. And that’s a very, very scary thing to see.

2. Fortune

I’d been living alone for less than a week. I got some Chinese take-out and was eating in front of the TV. I finished my meal and cracked open the fortune cookie. It read “You will have a visitor tonight, lock your door.” There were no visitors that night, but the memory still haunts me.

3. On the Tracks

I watched in horror as this drunk seeming guy fell (maybe it was on purpose, but I don’t know) onto a commuter rail track just as the train was coming. The sound/sight of him getting run over (crunching, splattering, awful) has stayed with me for life as the scariest, brain scarring thing ever.

4. Hitting the Ground

I was on vacation in Ithaca with my boyfriend at the time.

We had literally, I’m talking 10 minutes, just gotten into town and stopped at a suspension bridge near Cornell’s campus. I’m terrified of heights and, so, my boyfriend was coaxing me step by step over the bridge. It was gorgeous and we stopped at the middle to take a picture.

On the side we had come from there was a parking lot with steps leading to the bottom of the gorge but on the far side there were hiking paths with no barrier.

A woman walked past us and offered to take a picture for us. We declined and she smiled and walked quickly to the far side of the bridge where she smoothly jumped off into the gorge. There was not a second of hesitation, it was almost like she expected the path to keep going.

The sound of a person hitting the ground from a jump like that sticks with you.

5. “It had been unlocked the whole time”

I was about 15 minutes from finishing the night shift at work when there was a massive crash on one of the windows in the office so I get up and go to check it out. Someone has thrown quite a sizable rock through one of the windows on the front of the building. This is made especially weird because I’m working in the industrial district at 11:30 at night with none of the other businesses open. I go back to my desk, put a quick call through to security to let them know and decide to head home. As I’m leaving the building I’m freaking myself out about it more and more and end up running to my car, getting in and taking off. I’m almost home and I’ve started to calm down a bit when I realise that I didn’t unlock my car when I got in. It had been unlocked the whole time. I do a quick check with my hand in the backseat for any possible murderers that might be hanging around there but there’s nothing there.

Fast forward 30 minutes: I’ve called a friend of mine who says he is out drinking so I decide I’m going to join him. I jump on my bicycle and start riding over. I’m doodling along the road on my bike, it’s a nice night and I’m in no big rush, just enjoying the moonlight when I hear someone riding behind me. I straighten up and stick to one side of the road. He passes me really slowly and, when he is right beside me, he shoots me a smile I can describe as purely fucking insane. I kind of flinch and am taken aback as he rides on. That’s when I realise. He is riding my mom’s bike.

Needless to say, I sprint the fuck home. When I get there, sure enough her bike is missing and one of my car’s doors is open. The back left one. I was driving, and had no need to open that door.

6. Falling

I was standing on my balcony when I saw some drunk guy flash in front of my eyes. I was on the tenth floor and apparently he fell over from the twenty-first floor. The split second he passed by, I got to see his look of fear, shock, disbelief and a whole bunch of other emotions before he fell to the floor in a thud and crack. You could just tell he was dead.

7. It took you 8 years?

After living in my house alone for 8 years, I came to the realization that I had closed a lot more doors than I had opened.

8. Camping Alone

A group of friends was staying at this remote cabin that one of my friend’s cousins owned. There were no roads leading to the cabin, and it was a good 3/4 day hike from where you parked the cars.

I couldn’t go at the same time as everyone else due to work obligations, so I decided to head up the same day but later. It would mean I would have to camp for a night by myself though (the latter part of the trail is too dangerous to be taken at night, especially by someone who doesn’t know it). I didn’t care, I was kind of looking forward to it as I’ve never camped alone before.

So I was in the middle of these woods when the sun went down. I got my camp set up in this small clearing. Probably 40 feet across. Get my camp fire going and pitch my small, one person tent. Do all that camping stuff like cooking hot dogs on a stick over the fire and s’mores. I probably stay up for a good 2 or 3 hours after dark (it was mid-autumn so the days were somewhat short).

The entire time I thought I heard shit moving in the woods on the edge of the clearing. I didn’t think anything of it at first cause the woods are full of animals, but as the night went on I realized that whatever it was was just circling the clearing over and over. Once I started paying attention it made 4 or 5 laps around before I decided to get up and investigate. The noise stopped as soon as I stooped up and I thought I heard some sounded going away through the woods.

I just shrug it off thinking it was some fox that was curious that got scared when I stood up. I decide its time to sleep, douse the fire and climb into my tent. I start to doze off and stay in that half asleep half awake state for a while. I normally hear weird shit when I’m in this state, so I don’t think much of it when I hear a voice.

Something wakes me all the way up though and I realize the voice is real and right outside my tent. Its just above a whisper and I’m not sure if it was another language or if they were just speaking English in such a way that I couldn’t understand.

I lay there for some time, I don’t know how long, listening and waiting for something to happen. There is just enough moonlight to light up the walls of the tent, so I can see when a hand presses into the wall of my tent down near my foot. This freaks me out and I sit up quickly. Who ever was outside of the tent tore ass out of there. Like running full sprint through the woods.

I get out of the tent and shine my flashlight around and see nothing. I was expecting there to be a bloody handprint on the tent, but nope. Didn’t sleep that night, packed up camp at first light that morning and booked it to the cabin.

9. Who’s There?

I was once in a hottub with some friends late at night, and we were all telling some stories. One of the guys told us this one, a story of a girl he knows (not sure if it’s true, but multiple people in the hottub who knew her verified it was true):

So one day, this girl was called over to babysit. She did it a lot for these people, so it was routine for her.

Anyways, she was told to put the kids to bed at 9, and she did. After she put the to bed, she started watching TV and doing homework, waiting for the parents to come home. But then, she started hearing some noises coming out of the basement, like pans falling and stuff. She just ignored it, and thought it was the washing machine or something. Anyways, a little later, she starts hearing the noises again. She decides to call the police, and tell them she was hearing noises coming out of the basement at the house she’s babysitting at.

The lady at the station told her there’s a patroller in her area, and that he’ll be at the house in about 20 minutes. Anyways, in about 5 minutes, she hears a knock on the door. She answers, and it’s a full swat team. She asked, “I thought they were just sending a patroller..” and one of the guys told her, “After you hung up the phone, we heard a second phone on the line hang up.” Ended up there was a man in the basement, listening to the conversation. The lady in the station waited and heard him hang up, then immediately sent the SWAT team to help. They went downstairs and caught him; he was wanted for multiple cases of rape.

10. Fucking Seagulls!

I saw this little bird walking on the street when suddenly a seagull grabbed it in it’s mouth. Seagull started to smash this helpless bird against the ground few times. After a while it ate the bird and I saw a bump on seagull’s neck like the bird was stuck in it’s throat. Then it flew off.

I was just standing there and said: “What the fuck, seagulls shouldn’t do that.”

Fuck seagulls.

11. Signals at Night

I was playing around with a radio once when I was a kid, just slowly spanning through the static trying to find a station. I had found an old television antenna, attached it to the side of our house and ran a wire out my window to it with an alligator clip attached to the radio antenna, allowing me to get a way broader range of signals.

So I’m sitting there, early in the morning (like 2am), slowly sweeping frequencies, and suddenly I get to this station that’s playing this very weird crackling sound. It sounded sort of like cracking knuckles, or maybe Rice Crispies cereal, but with a fixed, rhythmic pattern instead of being random. I sat there listening to it for a second, then it suddenly stopped and this faint voice says “It doesn’t work. We’re already dead. We’re already dead.”

It took a second for the weight of the words to hit me, but when they did I freaked the fuck out and almost threw the radio across the room. I’m pretty sure it was just someone messing around with a radio transmitter, but damn if it didn’t scare the shit out of me at the time.

12. “Don’t EVER do that again!”

My dad died of cancer the day I turned 16 after about two weeks in a coma. It was really fast – less than two months between diagnosis and death. He died in the house. (we had a hospice attendant and my mom was very good about seeing to him in those final days).

Anyway, a lot of weird shit happened after he passed, but the one that still freaks me out when I think about it happened about 12 hours before he took to bed for the last time. He was in our living room napping on the couch while my mom was in the kitchen cooking. No one else was home.

Suddenly, he jerked awake and was shouting for my mom in a very loud, agitated voice. Clearly angry with her. “Beverly! Don’t do that! Don’t EVER do that again!”

She ran into the room, alarmed and asked what he was talking about, and he said, “Don’t do that. Don’t walk past me like that in that long, black wig.”

Sometimes I think he saw death.

13. Night Dive

This was a few years ago on a night scuba dive. There were 8 of us in the group including our dive master and his assistant. We had just finished our dive and were gathered up in a circle ready to ascend and get out of the water when my dive master freezes. He takes his flashlight and pointing it outside our circle of divers he catches something circling us with the beam. Turns out it was a 12 foot long great white shark. At this point half of the group are trying to keep the shark illuminated as it circles us and remarkably everyone stayed calm. The only things going through my mind were iterations of these two thoughts, “don’t look like a yummy delicious fatty seal, and that I hope I taste terrible.” My dive master gets our attention and slowly puts his thumb up and then makes an upward motion. We all begin to ascend and the shark kept with us until we were maybe 10 feet from the surface. Then it turned off into the darkness and was gone. I did not go back into the ocean for about a week after that.

14. New House

My parents bought their first house back in 1972. It was a fixer-upper, but they decided to move in right away and fix things as time/money permitted.

Within a few days of moving in, the new neighbors came over to introduce themselves. They also let my parents know that the previous owners had moved out after a nasty divorce. They had lost their second baby from SIDS, and their relationship went downhill from there.

My parents were horrified, more so because they were newly pregnant and couldn’t imagine going through such a thing.

They eventually pretty much forgot all about it. Life went on. They were in love with their new life and their new house.

In preparation for the baby, they decided to wallpaper the nursery. Now, my Dad told my mom there was no need in wallpapering the inside of the closet, but she insisted. She was kneeling down, scraping off old paint inside of the closet when her eyes fell upon something that made her blood turn to ice.

Written in crayon, at about eye level for a kindergartner, in childish scrawl was: I KILLED THE BABY.

15. “I was the only one in the house”

Woke up one night around 1am, heard the shower was on… I first thought it was my brother, he works night shifts, so thought he had came home late and was in the shower… It went on for about half an hour until i got up and went to see wtf he was doing… No one was in the shower, my brother wasn’t home yet, i was the only one in the house. Still to this day, i have no idea how it turned on or who did it.. Almost 5 years later i still think about it and shit myself… Even writing this now i feel like turning every light on in the house…ahah whyyy do i do this to myself!!

16. Ghosts

I housesit for a family friend when she goes out of town. The woman who lives there is really into a bunch of spiritual stuff – new age stuff, reiki, etc. The very first time I was housesitting, I was outside watering the plants. I was the only one there and had closed the door after me. From the driveway where I was watering, I had a completely unobstructed view of the front door, the only door that was unlocked at the time. When I went back inside, there, on the little table next to the front door was a half eaten cookie. The table had been completely clear when I went outside and I hadn’t seen cookies that looked like that anywhere in the house. Nothing too creepy, but very puzzling and unsettling.

When the woman returns, I mention it to her and she laughs and says she “gets ghosts all the time.” I’m a fairly skeptical person, but honestly, ghosts were the best explanation.

The next time I was over, I was pooping around 10:30. The house itself is fairly old and creaks from time to time, but nothing too loud or disruptive. While I was pooping, there comes a single loud knock from the other side of the bathroom door. This wasn’t a little creak or pop from the house, it was a loud, determined rap on the door. It was enough to scare my poop back in for the rest of the night.

17. It happened “right behind the door”

One of the scariest things I ever heard was when I worked in retail. My stored used to do layaway and that was where I worked. Right by the layaway counter We had three bathrooms. A Men’s multi stall, a Women’s multi stall and a family bathroom. Well only the family bathroom had a door that locked all the others had the push/pull swing door. I was in the back cleaning up and I thought I hear screaming so I walked out front by the counter. I heard more screaming. I was not sure at first where it was coming from I ran and checked the men’s and women’s bathroom and they were empty and I still heard the crying and screaming. It was coming from the family bathroom. I banged on the door but the yelling, screaming crying kept going on. It sounded like a child and I had no idea what was going on. I called for a manager because I had no way of getting in the door since it was locked. This whole time there is still crying, screaming banging. After several attempts of trying to open the door we called 911. We had no idea what we going on but it didn’t sound good. I think about fifteen minutes at this point, although it felt forever. Then the sound check stopped. No more banging, crying nothing. We banged on the door until the police came.When they finally did they had to kick the door in since we had no key. As we all stood around and looked in all we saw was blood all over the place.

We were not really sure what happened at first but the police told us to back up and that is when they pulled out a lady and a child. A bloody child, maybe 3. We all just stood there in shock. The child was not moving, we thought he was dead because of all the blood. They took the lady away in handcuffs and the child to the hospital.

We all had to give statements. Later my manager told me what happened. She just snapped becayse he wouldn’t stop crying and she just had enough and did whatever she could to make him stop. The child did live. I was sure he was dead but he wasn’t she had just knocked him out from hitting him so hard.

This story is not scary in the ghost sense but for that to happen right behind the door and not know what is going on or be able to help was pretty scary to me.

18. “Something in the middle of the woods catches my eye”

Well, I’ll never forget this one…

My wife and I used to live in a townhome that backed to some woods. We both took off work one day to get some things done in the yard, cutting the grass, weeding our large flower beds, laying mulch etc.

Our yard wasn’t big; it took about two full grass clipping bags. I would walk a couple of feet into the woods and dump them in a pile.

As I’m walking back to empty the second bag, something in the middle of the woods catches my eye. Something out of place and it’s moving.

I crouched down to get a better look and I just froze. At first, I could make out a pair of shoes just swaying back and forth and then was able to see the legs and body of a teenager. There in the middle of the woods was a teenage boy who had hung himself. Next to the tree, I could see a skateboard leaning up against it.

I yelled for my wife to call the police and started running back to try and save him but he was gone. His body was limp and his head was was just slumped over. His dark scruffy hair was slowly blowing in the breeze.

The cops came and quickly cut him down and they were gone.

As it turns out, he was having problems getting along with his parents and this is what he decided to do.

19. Organ Music

Years ago, I lived in a townhouse above the an old couple that were the landlords. This was in the historic section of Albany, NY near the park. The landlords were in their sixties, maybe early seventies. This place actually had a plaque on the front of it saying it was built in 1880-something and that some rich state senator had lived there. There’s places like this all over the area that had been subdivided and rented out.

I lived there for a year and every now and then, always while I was trying to sleep, I would hear faint, organ music accompanied by some rhythmic banging sounds. I always have slept with a fan to drown out any ambient noise and sleep better. This music was just…floating through my room. No one was above me. Just the old people who went to bed at nine below me. I would get up and try to find the source of the sounds but it just seemed like it was everywhere and nowhere.

Since I never heard any music or anything from any other room, and I never heard that music during the day, I concluded that it was the ghosts of previous occupants that had lived there decades before. This actually affected my decision to live there again when my lease was up. The old couple even offered to knock $50 a month off the rent if I resigned. That would have amounted to nearly a month of total rent over the course of a year. I thanked them, but declined, opting instead to live in a newer place.

Flash forward a couple of years. My friend is having a party. He invites some coworkers that he used to work with at the state. I’m talking to one dude about all the places in Albany I had been in. He’s lived in several, too. After some conversation, we find out that one of his friends used to live in that exact same apartment before me. I’ve never told anyone about the music and banging I would hear there but I just have to ask this guy if his friend ever said anything about the place being haunted. His eyes light up when I ask him.

“You’re not going to believe this!” he says and starts thumbing through the contacts list in his phone. He dials his friend. When the guy answers, he gives him a brief overview of the conversation we had been having then hands me the phone.

“What’s up, man? Yeah, I lived there in 2003. You heard the music, too? That was the landlords having sex below you. I swear to God. I actually asked about them about it the morning after I had heard it for the tenth time. The old man sheepishly explained that he was banging his old lady. He apologized and said they’d keep it down. The funny thing is, it seemed to get louder and louder over the last couple months I lived there. It was almost like they wanted me to hear.”

The mystery was solved. That organ music I had heard was literally organ music that the old people would have sex to. Somehow, that was creepier than it being ghosts.

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15 People Share Why They’re No Longer with Their Ex

Relationships come and go, we all know that. And there comes that moment in many relationships when you think to yourself, “it’s over.” You may have been ruminating on it for awhile, or it might have popped out of nowhere, but the fact remains that once it’s been thought, you can’t un-think it.

The beginning of the end, as it were.

And these 15 people are ready and willing to dish on what exactly made that moment happen for them.

#15. She hired two guys to rob me.

When I was nearly robbed. Before the story came out she said damn I didn’t know that your great great grandparents medals were stolen. She fucking hired 2 guys to rob me cuz I told her my brother was having an serious asthma attack and I’ll be at the hospital. She wanted to show me that she found the medals

#14. That’ll do it.

She got pregnant with another guy’s child.

#13. A suckerpunch.

My girlfriend was verbally abusive on a regular basis. She would also get physically abusive when she drank too much. She wasnt really strong enough to hurt me seriously, but when the person you love starts trying to suckerpunch you it is really frustrating. I still miss her a lot.

Some days she was wonderful and the sweetest person ever. Others she was bitter, angry, and would do anything to try to get a reaction out of me by insulting me. Started to become my insecure high school self after a while and had to give up.

She dealt with a lot of really horrible abuse in her past and I didn’t want to ever be the next abuser because of my own anger and frustration so I had to let her go. Still miss her. Still love her. Wish things had been different

#12. A petty argument.

He punched me in the face after a petty argument.

#11. So many things.

Faked a pregnancy when I tried to break up.

Cheated (multiple times).

2 real suicide attempts when i tried to break up.

Fake rape claim threat when i tried to break up.

My hands started sweating and my heart was racing when I saw pictures of her recently. This happened over 2 years ago. This tiny girl terrifies me.

#10. You’re a garbage human.

I was in the emergency room with kidney stones (didn’t know it was kidney stones at the time, just knew I was in the most pain I’d ever been in). She got pissed because “you’re not paying attention to me.” Seriously, I’m in a fucking emergency room hooked up to an IV with pain killers flowing through me, at this point I’m half conscious cuz of the morphine, & apparently I’m a piece of shit for not paying attention to her. It came to a head when I asked her to get a nurse because something didn’t feel right (they had gave me something I was allergic to & I was starting to have an allergic reaction). She said, “Fine, I’ll just be your babysitter.” At that point I just told her to go home, that her negativity was making me feel worse. She got all pissy, threw a fit, and left in a rage. Next day I didn’t even call her for a ride back home when I got out of the hospital, I called my aunt & had her drive me home. The moment I got home I started packing my shit. If you have to be the center of attention & can’t feel any empathy whatsoever while I’m in the goddamn emergency room, you’re a garbage human I don’t want anything to do with.

#9. Yeah…nope.

Been married 18 years, so my ex was an ex from about 23 years ago.

Reason he’s my ex? Got my “friend” preggers, when I confronted him he suggested we stay together and have threesomes. Yeah… Nope.

#8. It was all a coincidence.

Said she wanted a change…. coincidentally at the same time that I finished paying for her college.

#7. His words not mine.

He cheated on me. His excuse was “It wasn’t anything sexual. I just wanted to show her my dick then she grabbed it and put it in her”.

His words not mine.

#6. It just didn’t click.

He was truly a phenomenal person but something just didn’t click romantically. I just didn’t feel the way I thought I should have felt about him.

#5. Life was a cabaret.

She didn’t want to commit, but she didn’t want to be alone. She liked to pretend that she didn’t need my company, and that life was a cabaret, but she did, and it really wasn’t for her. Something in her was afraid of getting too close. I just got tired of it.

#4. I still love her.

Well, she passed away so I guess she is my ex now. I still love her.

#3. One thing in common.

Turned out the only thing we had in common was that we both liked to eat pussy.

#2. A selfish a**hole.

Because I’m a selfish asshole.

Being a selfish asshole is fine if you’re by yourself, and want to be that way, but other people tend to not like it very much when looking for company.

#1. It was toxic.

I realized it was a toxic relationship when he got mad at me for not wearing makeup.

On to the next!

The post 15 People Share Why They’re No Longer with Their Ex appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Share Things That They Know Are Not as Easy as They Seem

We all have our preconceived notions…about everything.

There are probably more than a few things in the world that people think is easy (waiting tables and writing books both come to mind) that are significantly harder when you decide to attempt them for yourself, but the 15 people below have been attempted and confirmed.

15. Horses.

Horseback riding. Because “it’s literally just sitting on a horse, and the horse is doing all the work”.

Turns out it’s pretty difficult and physically demanding to get the horse to do what you want it to do.

14. Much harder.

Dropping everything in your life to go back to college at the age of 29.

School isn’t what’s difficult, it’s the fact that I’m broke again that makes it much harder. Hooray for student debt!

13. Off-key and out of tune.

Singing. Not professional or even in front of people but just singing along to a song. I was just cleaning the house on day and had YouTube playing music vids. “Sweet Child o’ Mine” came up with lyrics. I’ve “sung” this song hundreds of times but I stopped and was reading the lyrics as I sang and, Holy Hell, I freaking suck! I know the words but I was LISTENING to myself sing them. Off key, out of tune, bad phrasing, you name it, I did it BAD.

Took me 53 years to realize this.

12. Not happening.

Quitting sugar.

11. Years and years of practice.

Skateboarding.

I thought jumping on a skateboard “Ollie” will literally take a couple of hours to learn, yet it took many days to do it while moving and it still looked fucking awful.
Flipping a skate in the air while it does 360 took me 2 years to learn..
Then there’s a stance called Switch, which is basically doing the same trick but in uncomfortable stance for you, different leg front.
Learning to Switch 360 Flip and grind/slide on rails in that stance will take years and years of practice.

10. Forget it.

Surfing. Really thought my 20 years of skate and snowboarding would help me out. Nope. I got exhausted just putting on the wetsuit. Then trying to paddle and pop up? Forget it.

9. There’s a difference.

Playing drums.

Or I should say playing drums well.

8. Not all it’s cracked up to be.

Taking care of my aging parents.

They say that there is a time when you need to “parent your parents,” but I don’t think that’s a good analogy. I thought I would visit them more, make some doctors appointment, hire house cleaners and aides when necessary or maybe find a nice assisted living facility for them. No way, they didn’t want any of that at all. It wasn’t like parenting a child at all, more like needing to beg, plead, demand, or yell for them to allow me to do even minimal things that will keep their lives from totally falling apart and taking mine with it. (And that still didn’t work, writing you here from the broken life I saw coming a mile away.)

Not everyone’s elderly parents are like this, and mine were the most relaxed, empathic, organized people I ever knew growing up. Old age made them difficult and irrational, and they just weren’t able to see things logically or from my perspective anymore, so deep were they in the anxiety, fear, and stress of just dealing with their life.

7. Pistol squats.

Sqautting with one leg in the air and then getting back up.

6. When you’re a natural night owl.

waking up early. like just an hour earlier than my usual time and I’m a fucking zombie

5. Harder than it looks.

Not giving a shit.

I kept sort of giving a shit.

4. The dream.

Finding a better job once I had a few years experience in the field.

3. Worth it, though.

Learning a different language.

2. Over estimate.

Drywall and general home repairs. I am riding a single room. Remodeling from plaster and lathe. My advice; always buy at least one extra of anything you need from the hardware store,and estimate an extra 2-3hours of labor. Truth is, if you’ve never done a project before you need time to screw it up once then go back and fix it.

1. A sloppy mess.

Painting. Professionals make it look incredibly easy but it just becomes a sloppy mess when I try.

Consider yourself warned!

The post 15 People Share Things That They Know Are Not as Easy as They Seem appeared first on UberFacts.

A Guy Called off His Wedding After His Fiancee Nearly Killed His Dog. Then the Internet Reacted.

Most adult humans takes the responsibility of owning a pet seriously. Even if a pet is not yours, but is in your care, most people do their very best to ensure no harm comes to the animal, because…it’s a living thing.

This guy, though, found out the hard (almost deadly, for his dog) way that his fiancee wasn’t what you would call responsible at all – and that she also wasn’t the kind of person he wanted to have in his life long term.

He posted the story on a Reddit thread, asking if he was the asshole and, well…keep reading.

AITA for cancelling my wedding because fiancee almost got my dog killed? from AmItheAsshole

So basically, this guy left his dog because she wanted the dog there for her party, gave her clear instructions on how to keep the dog safe, and then almost lost his dog because she couldn’t be bothered.

Honestly…if this was an isolated incident of poor decision making, maybe he overreacted. Maybe.

But once you consider the fact that he’s noticed her exercising similar bad judgment in the past, yeah. You could never trust her with your pets or your kids or your car or your house, so what’s the point?

FWIW, most Redditors agreed that the guy was not, in fact, an asshole at all, but someone who had just realized that he should cut his losses now and not later.

1. You know what to do…

She clearly doesn’t mean that much to you, so yeah, leave over this.

I have a cat whom I adore beyond reason and if my current BF accidentally hurt him, I’d be pissed and upset but your dog isn’t dead. If he’s more important than your woman, that relationship is doomed. I’ve been in a relationship where I would have chosen my cat over them. That is not a good relationship.

2. Marriage is doomed…

ESH – and reading through your replies to most people it seems you’ve got a lot of issues with your partners behaviour, and you were possibly looking for a good enough reason in your head to end it.

I hazard a guess that if everything you’ve listed has been getting to you over time, that the marriage would not have lasted long after that.

3. Think of the children…

NTA.

That level of carelessness could lead to death. What would people say if she had done the same thing with a kid around?

It’s pretty obvious how you feel, getting out now seems like a better option than having this fester until the divorce.

4. You had ONE job!

NTA.

You asked her to do one thing. Put the dog away. I saw a comment where you said they kept him out because they wanted to pet him and stuff. This is what makes her TA. She deliberately ignored what you asked of her after she asked for the dog to stay there, and then she neglected to watch the dog or put the dog away later when they started drinking. It’s neglect of an animal.

It’s really pissing me off that everyone is giving off ‘it’s just a dog’ vibes. Like wtf. This wouldn’t of happened if the dog was put away like she was asked. It wasn’t an accident or a mistake because she left the dog out on purpose for entertainment. I think this is a legitimate reason for not marrying her. It’s not like they could get married and be happy and laugh about it in the future like ‘do you remember on you hen party when my dog almost died due to your stupidity? Hahahahahahahaha’

No.

5. No, it wasn’t just an accident!

NTA.

I don’t understand the people saying, “But it’s just an accident!” She went against clear, easy instructions by OP and should have enough common sense to keep that stuff in a safe area in the first place. She also has a history of questionable decisions. What if this was their child in the ER?

OP, block her family and take a break from talking to yours. You don’t have to forgive her just because your dog lived this time. And you don’t have to stay and marry her just because you’ve been together for 4 years. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.

And the ones who still thought he was overreacting?

6. It’s YOUR dog…

YTA.

She messed up by not doing as you said but it wasn’t only on her.

You say she is a careless person and you give a bunch of examples, then isn’t it your job to take care of your dog and not leave it in a dangerous situation with her know her carelessness?

I’ll be honest though, given how you mention other minor things she does/did, it seems to me you were already looking for any reason to bail on the wedding. You were getting cold feet and are using this as an excuse to get out of a years long relationship and marriage commitment.

She made a mistake and had already been crying for hours, as you mention, so she didn’t do it deliberately. I’d even understand if she hadn’t shown remorse at her mistake or something.

There is a reason why all those around you are saying you are over reacting, even your mun and your best friends. I don’t think you are overreacting though, I think you are just using this as an excuse to bail, knowingly or unknowingly, because you have cold feet.

Edit: Thanks for the Gold and Silver

7. Bro… seriously?

YTA as it is a massive over reaction. However, you seem to have bigger issues.

You say you’re not holding on, but you clearly are.

8. You’re bother better off without each other….

YTA. OMG YTA.

It was an accident. The way you speak about her is atrocious.

Please leave her so she can find someone who doesn’t think she’s an idiot.

I don’t know, but I definitely wouldn’t trust them with my dog.

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