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People Share the Secrets They Will Take with Them to the Grave

All of us have secrets. Things we won’t ever tell anyone as long as we live. Not our parents, not our spouses. Not our siblings. NO ONE.

In this AskReddit article, people share the secrets that they intend to take with them to the grave…

Take a deep breath and read on.

1. Poor pup.

“Only I know that my mother-in-law killed her dog by sitting on it.”

2. That’s good thing.

“I had a sweet, wonderful student who had been in foster care but his mom worked her ass off to get him back and she did. He had to take a very important city [correction — state exam. I have no idea why I wrote city] exam and she called me and asked if he passed it. I looked at the grades and saw he did and said so. She burst into tears of joy and that is when I saw I had read the wrong score.

He had failed.

So I changed his grade to passing. No one knew. That was the only time I ever did that.

That could have cost me my license.

The weird thing is, when my awful corrupt principal pressured me to change other students’ scores so we could raise our pass rate, I refused.

I never told anyone what I did for my student.

He went into the military, was extremely successful there, has a great wife and kids, so I think I did the right thing.

Fuck those tests. They aren’t human.”

3. Can’t admit it.

“Mentioned before, will never tell anyone I had one of those expensive fancy life sized sex dolls. Got rid of it at first opportunity after getting a real partner. But it’s literally the only secret I have that I’m not willing to say to anyone in real life.”

4. That’s…odd.

“When I was a kid I used to shit in a tire in the garden because I was scared of getting locked in the toilet.”

5. Mommy dearest.

“I attempted to murder my mother. She was abusive, verbally but also physically. She’d hit you in places no one would see, or rip clumps of my hair out when Dad was on the road for work. She probably has a personality disorder. She got in my face one night when I was coming home from my second job, and I had it. My Mom like went through whole periods where she wouldn’t work, I was killing myself every summer working 50+ hours to pay family bills in my parents’ names and also get my younger sister to all of HER activities. I HAD IT. I tried to put Mom’s head through a wall.

She started screaming, “Oh, help! Help!” and I told her she could dish it out, she should also be able to take it, shoved her on the ground and kicked her repeatedly in the abdomen and thigh, while still trying to put her head through the wall with one hand (it’s a plaster-and-lath situation, old house in New England). I really fucked her up, and it felt good to do so. She’s destroyed so many people’s lives and she never faces any consequences for it. No one in our family ever helped me or called the police when she would abuse me. The only one who ever helped was the dog, if the dog was awake when my mom tried to start something she’d get between us, growl at mom until she backed down. I had always shown restraint and never hit her until this night. But my Dad did call the cops on me when I crossed that line.

The cops get there, split us up to interview, I explain my side and then just blurt out, “Where were you assholes when I was 8 and she was doing that to me?” The cop was taken aback, I think he could tell I was being honest and it was a culmination of years of shit and pain. He goes and talks to his partner, “I think this isn’t an assault, I think it’s a mental illness thing.”

Then they basically intimidated my Mom and Dad into agreeing with them, they wouldn’t let it go until they agreed it was a medical issue not a criminal one. So they called an ambulance and I went to the hospital as part of a “diversion program.” Basically, they sent me to detox for three days and I emerged with no record, no charges, no nothing except a script for prozac and a recommendation for therapy (paid for by the state low income insurance plan).

Trying to kill my mom probably saved my life, honestly. Because I got myself some tools from a CBT/DBT therapist, but I’m not stupid enough to want people to know. Who would date me? How would I ever get promoted at work? Anyway: be kind. You never know what someone’s been through and you never know what people are capable of when pushed far enough.”

6. Blamed it on you.

“My father burned down my childhood home for the insurance money. He took me along as his “alibi”, so I could verify he wasn’t anywhere near it when it happened. I was 13 years old. I remember crying so hard knowing my clothes, books, photos – all of it would be destroyed. I wasn’t allowed to save anything because he told me it would have been too suspicious. I found out years later he blamed it on me. Telling the fire chief (plus friends and family) the fire had started because I must have been secretly smoking in my bedroom. I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life…”

7. This is dark.

“When I was 7 my dad was dating this woman and they seemed pretty happy, but she had a son who would molest me for months in my own room and eventually lead to him raping me. If I was to have told anyone that would break up our parents and I didn’t want my dad to be sad so I just took it.”

8. On his death bed.

“As a teenager, I had cancer multiple times and nearly died a lot. At one point, I spent several weeks in intensive care and survived despite no doctor thinking that I possibly could live. More than 20 years later, everyone I know still comments on how I survived purely on will to live. I actually spent every moment in that hospital bed in absolute agony, desperately wanting to die.”

9. Family scandal.

“My mother is cheating on my father and my father is cheating on my mother, they both know I know this but made me promise not to tell the other parent. Parents are fucked up sometimes.”

10. Don’t do it!

“My best friend will get married soon and I think its the greatest mistake of her life.”

11. Tormented.

“I used to be so depressed when I was young. I tried to kill myself and used to puke whenever I was alone in my house, because my grandmother and my cousins used to tell me that I was fat and ugly and a lot of really bad shit. I don’t have the heart to share that with my parents because they will be heartbroken and I still haven’t get over it completely to discuss it.”

12. No one knows.

“I actually made a new reddit account because I will not tell another living soul other than me about this.

When I was 7 or 8, I lived in a community where everyone knew each other and you can pretty much sleep without locking your doors. One night we had bunch of guests over and everyone was having fun conversing so I ask my mom for some money to buy a candy. There was a convenience store right outside our building literally 2 steps to the left from when you walk out the apartment. I go inside the store, buy my candy, and head out.

As I was walking towards our apartment, a guy grabs my hand and tells me to not scream. I was so scared that I couldn’t scream even if I wanted to ( i was 7 or 8). He takes me to few floors above to a secluded stairway where there are no cameras or people. He pulls down my pants and starts touching my penis. I was confused and scared to understand what his intentions were. He also had something against my neck and kept saying ” shh” . That object could have been a knife but I have no memory of it. about 5 minutes of him touching me, he goes down one flight of stairs to see if anyone is there, to my luck he sees an old woman and runs.

Idk what it was about that lady but till this day, I’m convinced that lady was an angel. Had she not been there the guy would have murdered me. Till this day, no one knows not even my parents and I’ll keep it that way till death.”

13. Ooops.

“I was the guy who accidentally dropped water on a gay couple kissing in the middle of the road to protest from my balcony it went viral in my country for a few days thank god nobody recognized me.”

14. This is intense.

“A guy who worked with my fiance wouldn’t stop sending her lewd texts, or trying to give her weirdd gropey inappropriate hugs at work. One day he tried to drag her into a broom closet but she fought him off. The business treated the sexual harassment claims like they were just “playful rough housing that was overreacted to.” So, I put on a ski mask, crouched behind his truck, and when he came out I
pepper sprayed him in the face, then beat the shit outta him with a tire iron. then I took his phone and wallet to make it look like a mugging.”

15. Regrets…

“I regret having kids. I’m not cut out for motherhood and there is not a maternal bone in my body. Maybe it’s PPD or just this stage of life but I will seek therapy. I love my kids and I will never say anything or hint about my feelings, it’s not their fault.”

The post People Share the Secrets They Will Take with Them to the Grave appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Describe Terrifying Moments They Knew They Had to Leave Immediately

You probably know this feeling – the hair stands up on the back of your neck, your heart starts to race, your palms are sweating, and even though there’s no obvious threat, everything inside you screams to get the heck out while you can.

Most of us will be lucky enough to experience this in what turn out to be fairly innocuous situations, but others….well, these 15 people are thankful every day that they listened to their baser instincts in that moment.

15. Just run as fast as you can.

When I was a preteen a strange man stopped and asked me for directions that didn’t make sense. As I’m trying to help him a van rolls up and the side door opens. I just booked it and never looked back.

14. Sometimes you just feel wrong.

When me and two of my cousins went camping with our family (probably about 8-9 years old) we stayed in a campground that had a playground near our spot. We would often go, just the three of us, to play and go back to our camper when it started to get dark because it wasn’t too far. But one day we were playing and we weren’t the only kids there but this man (40s) came up to us with a dog and started talking to my cousins and they were very trusting. He kept asking them if they wanted hotdogs or cookies and where they were from and telling us that his camper was just over there if we wanted snacks. This guy gave me a super weird vibe immediately so I looked at my cousins after being quiet the whole time and said “I think I hear grandma yelling for us, dinner is probably ready” and they argued and were confused but after I gave them the ‘look’ they just shrugged and listened to me. That guy gave me the heebie jeebies and we never saw him again after that day.

13. Our brains recognize when something is just “off.”

Went to a movie on Halloween when I was in high school with my boyfriend at the time. It was a huge theatre where there was a staircase all the way to the top row that opened in the middle of the row so you could sit on either side of the opening. My boyfriend and I sat in the back row on one side of the opening. We were watching the movie and around 30-40 minutes after the movie started, a guy walked in by himself wearing a big sweater and sat on the other side of the opening. He didn’t really DO anything at first but he gave me a bad feeling and I felt uncomfortable but I continued watching the movie. I noticed the guy seemed really nervous and wasn’t paying ANY attention to the movie. I really couldn’t figure out why but he was stressing me out big time and I just felt like we had to get the fuck out of there. I told my boyfriend that I was probably being silly but I wanted to leave. As we were leaving we informed the staff about the guy just in case.

Turns out they had been looking for him as people had reported seeing a guy of that description behaving strangely in the parking lot earlier. The police came and he apparently had quite a few large hunting knives hidden under his sweatshirt.

12. Always have someone with you to watch your back.

One night when I was very young and at a bar, I got quite drunk. Some guy propositioned me to go back to his place and I was up for it. I left my car, cuz he told me to just ride in since I had been drinking so much and we went riding down the road. It was quite a ways, and I started to question him where we were going. He said it was just up the road on the river.

He pulls over to the side of US1 and points to a two-story house on the river. It was very dark and the only light was of the Moon. We walk down the dock to get to the front door. He gets in front of me and is playing with the doorknob and as he pushes is it open he turns to me and says, please don’t make me turn the light on and let you see how dirty my place looks. So of course drunk and stupid, I said no problem. And probably giggled.

He guides me by the hand up a set of stairs. We get to the top and he says, I just have a mattress on the floor I hope you don’t mind. And again drunk and stupid me just sits down on the mattress not thinking about anything. As I sit there in the dark I start to get my vision becoming clearer. Everything looks off. The mattress has no sheet on it and I hear a whisper in my ear, Get Out!

I jumped up. I ran down the stairs. I ran out of the door and down the dock. I ran across u.s. 1, and up to a house that was across the street. I ran up to the door and started beating on the door and screaming for help I. I turn and look and the guy is running across u.s. 1 at me chasing me. I start screaming more and more as now I’m afraid this house is abandoned. Right as the guy gets up about ten feet away, the porch light turns on. The guy stops, turns around, and went back to his truck.

Poor guy whose door I was beating on came out and saw me crumbled, crying on his porch. The sweet man got in his car and drove me back to the bar 20 miles away so that I could get my car. I never saw him again. I never even knew his name. But he saved my life. I know he did.

11. Nothing about this is okay.

I used to drive for Lyft. Last year, I picked up a young couple from a bar at about 1:30 am. They were fairly chill and I figured it would be my last ride of the night. The dude asked me to stop at a corner store on the way to their destination so that he could get cigarettes. I didn’t see any harm in waiting so I stopped, and had a nice chat with the young woman while he was in the store. He ended up being about 5 minutes since everyone was trying to get their pre-2 am beer.

When he came out, he asked me to take him to a location that was in the opposite direction of their destination, but was only about a mile away. He said he wanted to meet some friends real quick and grab some beer. Since I figured it would be my last ride of the night, I said ‘fuck it, why not’ and drive him over there.

Now, I know the town we live in fairly well, but the direction that we were coming from was not a way I was used to going when I would go to this location. So when I turned onto the destination street, I missed the turn into the complex parking lot. I just came to a complete stop since the roads were empty and asked them if they just wanted me to park on the street or pull into the complex. This is when the two of them started arguing, as he suddenly wanted to go in and hang out for a few minutes while she didn’t want to go in at all; she just wanted him to do his thing and get out of there so they could go home.

And then something hit my car.

The sound is unmistakable to me, so I immediately started to look around to figure out what it was. But there were no other cars on the road, so that couldn’t have been it. Then I moved to the next thing on my mental checklist: of something didn’t hit me, then what did I hit? But that didn’t make any sense either as I’d been in park and couldn’t have hit anything. It’s at this point that the young lady’s attitude completely changed. She just kinda looked around, and then said ‘Can we just get out of here? It hurts and I want to go home.’

This was odd to me as she’d been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes at this point and hadn’t said a word about any kind of pain. She followed this up with ‘It hurts and I can’t move,’ put her had to her back, and pulled it out covered in blood.

What. The. Fuck.

So the guy starts freaking out, thinking that something in my trunk had exploded, but it was empty. As he reached over to tend to her I noticed something white sticking out of the seat. This hadn’t been there at the beginning of the night, so I asked him what it was. He pulled on it; it was a piece of the filler fuzz from my seat. It came out of the hole that had been made in the seat.

Because she’d been shot.

As soon he grabbed that fuzz we both had the same realization. He slammed shut his door and I drove them straight to the hospital, which was only a couple of miles away. That realization, and the follow up realization of ‘oh, someone could still shoot you while you’re sitting here’ was one of the most terrifying things I’d ever experienced.

10. That was a warning you were definitely right to heed.

In high school my buddy and I were riding our dirt bikes on the trails that ran around the logging roads in SW WA. Thousands and thousands of acres of undeveloped land with just gravel logging roads and trails.

We were on our way back to the truck when we stopped at an intersection to figure out which way to turn. Three dudes in overalls, no shirts and full face helmets rode out of the woods on quads. They rode a few slow circles around us then took off back into the woods. We booked the fuck out of there.

Turns out all that undeveloped land is also good for growing, cooking, and dumping.

9. Always be ready to have someone’s back.

I was walking home from school when a creepy older guy pulled over his work van, got out, was asking me for directions to a well known local place, and feigning like he didn’t understand what I was saying, in an obvious attempt to draw out the conversation. So that alone set off alarm bells in my head, but then he kept looking around the whole time, and I knew he was about to try something. Some lady happened to be walking from her house to her car so I yelled out, “Hey Mom! Can you come here and help give this guy directions?” Surprisingly, the lady actually came over and as she did, she yelled something like, “your father and your big brothers will be out in a minute, are you ready to go?”

He looked panicked, quickly got back into his car and took off. Once he left, that lady told me she knew what was up and made sure I was okay, before letting me use her phone to call the cops. Turns out I wasn’t the only girl he tried to lure/abduct. My faith in humanity was both damaged and restored that day.

8. Don’t brush it off.

This was by far the creepiest thing to ever happen to me. It’s a bit long but bear with me.

For context, I live only a few streets away from my workplace. This guy came to my floor one day for a team meeting. Ever since then he made a point to pass my desk when walking to the kitchen which doesn’t make sense logistically as the elevator basically opens right onto the kitchen.  Keep in mind, this guy is a complete stranger, nobody had ever seen him on our floor so my work friends KNEW he purposely came to our floor just to see me. He would make excuses to be near me whenever I am in the kitchen, eg to get a glass of water whilst I am washing my dishes.  He was always alone, never spoke to anyone, only watched me. This happened for about 3 months.

One day he happened to be downstairs at the time I finish work. He then knew EXACTLY what time I finish and waited downstairs for me everyday. He just sat there watching, waited for us to leave, then went back up.   One day I walked out with a friend.  We saw him sitting downstairs, quickly walked out of the building and parted ways assuming he would go back up now that we’d left.

Boy was I wrong.   My friend walked off in the opposite direction leaving me alone.  I had crossed the road and was just about to turn to the direction of my apartment, when some higher power compelled me to turn around. The feeling that rushed over me just then, I had never felt it before. It was like a mix of all the most negative emotions in the world all swirling into one massive super-cloud of fear.   When people talk about the flight or fight response, THIS was literally the epitome of that. To this day I still cannot understand what made me turn around when I generally never do that.

I was smart enough to go in a completely different direction so he wouldn’t know where I live.   He walked a short distance behind, crossed the road and checked to see where I was walking home to! Another male colleague happened to finish work at the same time this went down, followed him and waited to see what he was doing (stalking the stalker?).  He confirmed that he absolutely followed to see which direction I was going, and then went back into the building once I had walked too far ahead.  He would’ve only need to follow me a short distance to see where I lived.

This happened a few more times before I finally reported his ass and got him banned from entering all buildings associated with my company. Turns out he didn’t even actually work for my company (external contractor) and shouldn’t have even been in my building in the first place.

7. You’re allowed to be rude to creeps. Full stop.

My mom and I were walking our dog on a semi secluded dried up river bed (for context I was probably 7 or 8). A couple approached us, and instantly something in my gut told me that they weren’t safe. The man asked some weird question like, “is it just you and your daughter here?”‘ and then proceeded to say that he took pictures of kids for a living and that he would love to have me model for him. I didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation because after that I took off, and I’m ashamed to admit, left my mom and dog behind with the creepy guy. My mom was livid saying how rude I was and how worried she was because she didn’t know where I went, but the intense “leave now!” feeling that came over me totally clouded any sort of reasoning.

6. She just knew.

I was a 13 year old girl, camping with my best friend and her mom by a lake.

My friend’s mom was not the world’s best mother, and allowed my friend to get drunk. I had one drink, so I was a little tipsy, but still had my wits about me.

It was about 11 at night, and my very drunk friend randomly decided to go swimming, so I chased after her to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn’t hurt herself.

And god, I’m so glad I did.

Two men followed us out to the lake. We didn’t notice until my friend and I had swam a few dozen yards into the water. The men were very drunk, stumbling with their beer bottles in hand. They were catcalling us as they waded into the water, getting closer and closer.

My friend was so drunk, and wanting so badly to seem cool to these grown up men. Drunk 13 year olds aren’t the most rational thinkers. At first, she tried to respond to their questions. But I knew something very bad would happen if we didn’t get away, so I repeatedly whispered to her, “They’re going to rape us. They’re going to rape us. We need to leave. Now!”

I think that finally knocked some sense in her inebriated brain, and she agreed to swim towards the shore with me (away from the men).

They called after us, asking where we were going, and my friend yelled, “AWAY FROM YOU!!”

Back then, I second-guessed myself and wondered if maybe I had been a little dramatic. But now, as an adult, I realize just how much danger we were in, and I’m so thankful that 13 year old me knew to trust her gut.

5. You’ve gotta use your head all the time.

My car was stolen the very night I moved into my new house in a very good neighborhood. The neighbors had warned us that the neighborhood was being targeted at the time. They mentioned a women around the corner that opened the door for knockers in the middle of the night and they attacked her and robbed her and almost killed her.

We had reported the car stolen and did the police reports when it happened. Well, 2 nights later in the middle of the night I hear a knock on the door and they said open up, it’s the police. Well, since I had heard the story about the other lady, I was suspicious and did not answer. I grabbed my kids and put them in my daughter’s room because it had access to the roof from the window. I called the police to say that two men claiming to be police are pounding on my door. They said there was no police in the area and they’re sending a car. Turns out, these same guys stole the car and came back for seconds.

I did get my car back because they brought it with.

4. What in the world is wrong with people?

Once when I was about 11, I think, I was walking to my sister’s house. This kinda nervous, kinda sketchy looking guy stopped me and asked for directions.

To a street one block over. Now, sure, people sometimes get lost when they’re super close to their destination, but he was going to the main street in our district. Everyone knew where that street was.

I tell him, already suspicious of what this guy wants. And then he nervously says “How much?” Me, being fucking 11, go “Uuuh, what?” “How much? For one hour. Sex.”

As I was only one street away from my sister, I bolted out of there, not looking behind me. He asked a kid how much she was willing to prostitute herself for.

Admittedly, some kids do dress way more mature then they are. I however, did not. I wore whatever my mother was willing to buy me, and that particular day it was an oversized fleece sweater, ratty jeans and super cheap sneakers. I looked like a kid.

3. Whoa, this one is intense.

One of the times I ran away from my abusive mother, I was hiding out at an internet cafe. For context I was 12. I’d been there for a few days and the guy running the show overnight knew me and knew what was going on at home because I’d laid it on him a few months earlier when he was like “hey it’s 2am don’t you need to go home?”. He didn’t care about me especially, but he didn’t care enough to kick me out either so long as I wasn’t causing any trouble. He’d let me sleep under one of the desks at the back etc since it was always quiet as overnight.

Anyway this night I was just hanging out the back of the cafe bored with nothing to do and my brain was like “GO TO THE BATHROOM” but I didn’t need to pee or anything so I was like uh. And then my brain was more urgent “GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW” so I was like ok and did. Went into a stall and just kinda stood there for a few minutes confused then went back out. The guy on the front desk comes over and was like “dude someone just came in asking if I’d seen you, said it was your mother”

After a cycle of running away, getting caught, running away again I finally got away from her and had CPS take my allegations seriously 2 years later, and moved to different city but moved back about 5 years ago. I’m not really a believer in psychic links etc, but since I’ve been back I’ve sometimes had this… feeling in myself like a deep dread, and then I look around and see my mother walking down the road across the street or driving past me or something. I was getting a coffee about 6 months back and got that feeling so looked around, just in time to see her walking into the store.

2. That moment when everything goes wrong.

At a summer camp a buddy of mine and I climbed out onto a tin roof of a big hall that was built on the side of a steep hill. On one side you could climb out, right onto the roof, on the other side it was a 3 story fall onto concrete. Being teenage idiots, we climbed from the low side over the peak of the sloped metal roof and were inching down towards the edge of the high side. We had sneakers on, and had pretty solid footing, so it wasn’t outrageously dangerous.

Then, out of absolute nowhere, raindrops started falling. We both look at each and realize this is really bad and try to start backing up, but wherever there is even the slightest dampness, the metal is now completely slick. There is nothing to hold onto, the grip of the rubber shoes on dry metal was all we had. I look at him and see the panic in his eyes that I’m feeling, too. We are trying to move up this roof as fast as we can, and the raindrops are falling harder every second. I see him break completely free and start sliding down with his eyes frozen in terror. Somehow, miraculously, he stops sliding. I made it to the top scrambled down grabbed a branch and leaned back over the top, trying to give him something to grab. He eventually makes it high enough to grab the branch and I pull him up and over.

I have never felt panic like that. We were *so* lucky to make it out of there.

1. Oh my god I would have had a heart attack.

My girlfriend and I were car camping in the woods, a nice spot by a rushing river. The evening had gone well and we turned in for the night.

Some time later I wake up needing to pee. I do my business and head back to the tent. I’m sitting on the edge of the tent taking my shoes off when I see it….

A vaguely human shape suddenly jumps out in my mind and I freeze. I stare through the dark at this shape, just silhouetted by the dim starlight, wondering if I’m seeing things or if someone is creeping on us. Then the shape moves.

It rises up, becoming a larger outline partially blotted by the trees. BEAR my mind screams at me. I whip into action, reaching for my knife with one hand, while zipping the the tent closed for some paltry barrier between me and it…

It’s then that I hear a noise over the rush of the river… “Hey, wait for me.”

Apparently my girlfriend had come out after I did and I just didn’t realize it.

I’m never going to discount my sixth senses again, I can tell you that!

Do you have a story like this? Please, drop it in the comments!

The post People Describe Terrifying Moments They Knew They Had to Leave Immediately appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Weird Things They Do with Their Significant Others

People are strange. Really strange, actually.

Especially when people are in relationships. Then they get really weird with all the little quirks that they share with a significant other.

AskReddit users share the weird things they like to do with their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, etc.

Share yours in the comments!

1. The Kiss Monster.

“We have a ‘Kiss Monster’ (spoiler alert: it’s me with a blanket over my head), that visits my SO every now and gives him loads of kisses before slinking off again into the night.

We have never acknowledged that I am in fact, the Kiss Monster.”

2. Okay…

“We do ‘inverted kissing’. Instead of kissing the lips, one of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party’s puckered up lips.

It’s like kissing the void. It feels really fucking uncomfortable and it’s hilarious. She always does it to me when I’m expecting a kiss.

Bonus points if you can kiss the void for over 5 seconds or have your open mouth over their mouth for a long time. We discovered this when I jokingly opened my mouth during a kiss and she started laughing and going ‘noooo’.”

3. Welcome home!

“My wife usually gets home before I do from work and as soon as I enter she comes to me and we both do a little dance while singing an bollywood song “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” (My love has reached home). And, then we hug and greet.

Its a little thing which has turned into some sort of ritual. We love it!

One day I rang the bell, before she unlocked the door she asks.. “whats the password?”

I replied in a low tone “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” in the same tune. She was expecting me to say something “clever” but she enjoyed the song even more because I have a bad voice.”

4. I love to annoy you!

“We often just stand in each other’s way for no reason other than to be annoying.”

5. Bread games.

“Well, I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her “Shhhhh be bread, it’s okay, just be bread, shhhh, loaf-girlfriend, it’s okay to become bread” while she cackled and screamed “I DON’T WANT TO BE BREAD.””

6. Just like pro wrestling.

“My ex used to want me to body slam her onto the bed all the time.”

7. True artists.

“Penis drawings. I don’t remember who started it but we hide the same penis drawing for the other one to find. She put it in my suitcase when I went away on a hunting trip with my buddies and I had to explain why I had a crudely drawn wang on a sheet of notebook paper packed with my socks.

When I returned I hid in the bottom of her underwear drawer and it took her a few months to find it. She then hid it somewhere and I haven’t found it yet, that was five years ago. She told me I’ll find it eventually but I’m afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win.”

8. Let’s see who’s more dominant.

“We sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to assert “dominance”. We use the “dominance” to win trivial arguments like who do our animals love more.”

9. Time to clean up.

“While we’re in the shower he’ll cover his body with soap, wrap his arms around me, and then go up and down really fast so he’s rubbing the soap all over me and cleaning me off. We call this “Carl wash” cause its like a car wash for me, but my nick name is Carl n he’s washing me off hehe.”

10. A decade in the making.

“We have a mating dance that has gotten increasingly elaborate in the decade we have been together. Example moves: slapping one’s own butt, moving one’s arms like a choo choo train, one handed clapping.

Some of the moves go out of fashion year to year, but we have a significant repertoire.”

11. Gross and weird.

“Sometimes he puts his mouth over my nose and blows, causing me to make a horrific, monstrous sound of air coming through my nasals and out of my mouth. We call this The Exorcism.

It’s gross and weird but I love that we can be gross and weird together.”

12. Would you kindly…

“We have the WYK rule. If one of us says, “would you kindly blah blah blah” the other one must, no matter what, do that thing. There is zero negotiation. It’s mostly whipped out for benign stuff, sometimes for very silly stuff, but occasionally used in serious situations. It’s equal parts silly, fake outage, and a deep, committed trust. It only works because we trust each other not to abuse WYK or use it for evil.”

13. It gets intense?

“Sometimes when I answer the phone I become Detective Tony Pepperoni, and he’s Cheesy Steve and the Saucy Boys. There’s never really any warning, it just kinda happens and it gets pretty intense.”

14. This is a real competition.

“Straight up wrestle for fun. Not like sexy way or the cute let the other one win way, but like actual competition.”

15. This is kinda cool

What started as a simple whistle to get the others attention has turned into a full blown second language consisting of nothing but whistles. ‘Hello’ is a simple high tone whistle followed by a slightly lower tone whistle. To properly say ‘hello’ back you must respond with an even higher pitched whistle sequence or a slightly lower pitched sequence.

‘Warning:danger or distress’ is three high pitched whistles. A sad whistle is one that starts high then quickly goes to a low tone.

We’ve legit had phone conversations where we whistle at each other and laugh for 10 minutes. We thought we were insane (still are but) until realizing there are cultures out there that whistle poetry to each other and that whistling may have been the first way peeps communicated with each other.

Edit: alright well this blew up. The best way to describe it as some of you have is R2D2 language, which is hilariously accurate

The list of whistling we do is never-ending and the language becomes more advanced by the day, but my favorite whistle is ‘accomplishment whistle’ which is a high pitched ‘doo-doo DOO’ or the spooky whistle demonstrated here

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Europeans Share the One “American Thing” They’ll Never Understand

Hmmmm….

It’s funny to realize the differences between European and American cultures, but not everyone has the chance to travel and experience them firsthand. That’s when sites like Reddit can come in handy, because there are plenty of people there ready and waiting to weigh in on the best and worst realizations during travel.

These 15 people say they’re just “too European” to ever wrap their minds around these 15 totally American things.

15. Okay I didn’t realize this was a thing.

ISP’s actually having data caps on wired connections in 2019

14. Yes, I would like answers for this, too.

The lack of paid maternity leave. The thought of having to hand my children to strangers and go back to work weeks after giving birth. Nobody seems enraged about what that must do to babies and mothers

13. Preach, my friend across the pond.

School debts.

12. Don’t believe everything you see in the movies.

Anything that happens in high school really

Edit: geez I’m getting a lot of replies, I’d like to respond to them all and discuss some more, but I don’t really have that much time, sorry

11. Buying water shouldn’t be necessary, but have you heard of Flint, MI…

Drinking tap water… I’m used to drinking tap water all day, I never buy water since it’s the same as tap water

Edit: I was once on vacation in Africa, and that was my first encounter with how tap water is in some other countries. I could never imagine undrinkable tap water in Europe.

10. So you can take it home with you, obvs.

Why pay for the bigger soda cup if there are free refills for the small?

9. Asking the real questions, here.

Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?

8. It’s our Puritan roots, plain and simple.

drinking at age 21. i mean for real? I live in Austria and the legal drinking age here is 16

7. Again…Puritans.

The double moral when it comes to sex and sexuality

6. Because we are disgusting, and also no one wants to hear about science.

Asian here but, why wear shoes inside your homes?

5. …it’s not like this in Europe?

Your bathrooms.

What idiot thought it was ok to have very small doors with gaps on all sides in every stall? How are you supposed to quietly poop and stink and fart without everyone seeing you?

I can understand why you are so afraid of unisex bathrooms.

4. So that TurboTax can keep making money…

Why do you pay the taxes yourself? It’s way easier to have it done for you by your state/country since you have to pay anyway.

3. Having one price is definitely simpler and helps those of us who don’t math well.

Showing prices BEFORE TAX LIKE MY DUDES “It looks cheaper” BUT IT AIN’T Idgi mang idgi!!!!

2. It’s a travesty.

Lunch debt? Why is that a thing? Why are the children being held accountable and unable graduate? It’a goddamn lunch.

1. It’s time to take to the streets.

Not rioting or demonstrating. I mean I’m French so the bias is big here.

Edit: Damn, thanks for the gold.

As an American, I have to say…we don’t understand some of these either!

Do you have a travel experience like this? Please share it with us in the comments!

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Chinese and Japanese Speakers Share the Dumbest Things They’ve Seen Tattooed on Someone

Tell me if this sounds familiar…?

Have you ever met someone who thought they were being really deep and spiritual with a Chinese or Japanese character tattooed on their body, but then they later found out that symbol meant “beef with broccoli”?

Lol,

It actually happens all the time, my friends. And these AskRedddit users shared some really good ones.

1. Actually, that means…

“Saw a girl with 魚 tattooed on her shoulder who swore up and down it meant poison… It means fish.”

2. Do you lift, bro?

“I was on the subway in NYC and there was a guy who clearly lifted a lot. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt and on his jacked arms in chinese were the words “牛肉麵” or “Beef noodle soup” for everyone to see. Man looked ready to get the rest of his favorite restaurant’s menu tattooed on his body.”

3. That’s a bummer.

“He thought it said “Love my grandson”. It translated to something like “I love fat boys”. I think it was a google translate failure of epic proportions.”

4. Not your name.

“”Tiny chicken” my friend got that thinking it said his name.”

5. Major eye roll.

“Chinese speaker here. In high school I worked at a CVS. A white woman showed up at the register with a very poorly drawn 力 tattoo, and I said “cool tattoo, means power”. She scoffed and replied to me like I was satan himself, and said “you obviously don’t understand Chinese “letters” the tattoo artist told me it means the strength to overcome anything, even breast cancer…” then she rolled her eyes at me and walked away.”

6. You blew it!

“My friend got a tattoo that said “veni vidi vici” in chinese, well so he thought. The tattoo acutally said “three small dishes”.”

7. Strength and courage…maybe.

“I was scrolling through the web at some tattoos for fun,a person said they got a tattoo that said “Strength and courage” in japanese. It actually said “Little animal, big mistake.” Great quote imo, but I dont think they thought so after they got it permanently marked on their skin.”

8. Uh oh. That’s not good.

“Not my story but a friend of mine.

She had a classmate in college with a kanji tattoo, confused she asked her what it meant.

“High princess”

Turns out it actually said “pig princess”.”

9. Might want to get a cover-up.

“I once saw this middle aged dude wearing “金魚佬” on his shoulder (the rough literary translation is “Goldfish Man”), which in cantonese means a sleazy older man who creeps on younger girls/children. Basically a pedo. Wonder under what circumstances he got that inked…”

10. Lookin’ tough…oh wait…

“机 on his fist. I haven’t taken Chinese but in Japanese it means ‘desk’.”

11. The Fat Man.

“”Kitchen” – confused the kanji, what he wanted I have no idea. “Fat man” – he wanted “big guy” (tough guy?) apparently.”

12. Opposite day?

“Gets a tattoo in google translate Japanese thinking it says “fear no one” but it really means “I fear everyone”.”

13. That’s…me?

“I once had a roommate placed with me in the apartment our company ran for us here in Japan. He was loud, obnoxious, and I generally didn’t get on well with him. But, you try to get along, so we’d go to the izakaya up the street from time to time with other friends to drink and have a good time. The owners were this wonderful old Japanese couple who loved having all these weird gaijin come and entertain the locals.

Anyway, somehow we get talking about tattoos and the roommate is showing his off. He then says that he got the kanji for “friendship” (友) and “peace” (和) tattooed on his back and lifts his shirt to show everyone. There’s a bit of silence, broken by someone asking, “Who’s Tomokazu?”

What Roommate didn’t know, of course, was that those two kanji in that order was a man’s name.

He reacted well, though, taking a beat and then announcing, “I’M TOMOKAZU!” which became a running joke while he was there.”

14. Hahaha, that’s good.

“40+ year old bald white guy with Chinese characters that translated as “I’m a cute little princess” on the length of his forearm.

Had a good laugh the rest of that day.”

15. Didn’t have the heart to tell him…

“I met a guy in the air port when I came back from living in Tokyo for 2 years who had just visited Japan. He had 2 symbols on his shoulder I noticed that were “off”. I stopped him and asked him what his tattoo said. He said ” It means strong will bro.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him….. his two symbols he picked in order were “dog poop”.

If you find this online…. im truly sorry bro. Ha ha.”

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15 People Weigh in on the Idea of a 4-Day Work Week

Microsoft Japan recently tested a 4-day workweek and reported upsides galore – but do you think it would work across the board? What would be the benefits? The downsides?

Well, these 15 Redditors have thought it through, and their musings are definitely a good place to start.

15. More time to dig into what you love.

Life would be that much better. I would have somewhere around 50 extra days a year to do all the yardwork and home projects that I don’t want to spend all weekend doing.

14. It’s just science, people.

While having the option to do 4 10 hour days would be nice (people could decide if it would improve their lives), it’s a terrible plan from the perspective of societal benefit. No matter how much idiot workoholics claim otherwise, productivity is not steady across an 8 hour day. Most people can do, in a 6 hour day, the same level of productivity they could in an 8. Maybe 10% less. MAYBE.

If we want to make society better people should work closer in line to school. 9-3 (30 hour week) makes a lot more sense and then most of us wouldn’t need a 4 day week to get stuff done. There’d still be time to get stuff done during the week.

And those without kids? Give them the option of 4 8 hour days. Most of them would probably prefer the day off.

13. People don’t want to be shells.

Describing my life even with time off for vacation. I work 205 days per year, about 10-12 hrs per day (salaried), and I’m a shell of a person. No matter how hard I work, there is no progress, nothing gets better, the system sucks the soul from you, people come up with ideas that make things worse, everyone pretends like things are good, and no one has the resources to do what needs to get done.

12. Oh, how I wish this mentality would prevail.

In my experience, people will still slack off if they have the ability to, especially if they getting paid by the hour. Give them the incentive of “you can go home when you get x finished” and the uptick in productivity is amazing. Though, you also run the risk of half assed work that way.

11. Some people definitely love it.

My new job is 4 day, ten hour work shifts (Wed-Sat, 7:30 – 6) and it’s honestly worth it just for the 3 day weekend.

I have yet to feel a case of the “Mondays”, I’m properly rested despite 10 hour shifts, and Mondays/Tuesdays are perfect “odd” days for things like hitting the gym, grocery shopping etc. since it’s hardly crowded.

10. The three-day weekend is huge.

My company switched to 4 10 hour days. We are diesel technicians and work 7-5:30. Half of us work Monday through Thursday and the other half work Tuesday through Friday. We have did this for over two years and we all love it. It is so nice to have a three day weekend every week. Another thing about it that is nice is if you doctors appointment or something I can make it on a Monday and don’t have to miss any work.

9. When you love what you do…

It really depends on the work. I’ve worked jobs where 30 hours was hell, jobs where 60 was a breeze, and everything in between. I remember one particularly long couple weeks (pretty sure I cleared 160 hours that pay period) that was stressful at first but turned into a cakewalk with a lot of babysitting equipment and just being available at the site if the remote engineers needed my hands for something (and steak/beer on the company dime every night for 2 weeks,) but I also remember a summer at a different job with 4 12s a week in a 120 degree room full of plastic fumes and a plant supervisor that saw sitting down instead of standing at a sorting table as some sort of moral failing…

8. Even for less money.

Fuck it. I’ll take the drop in salary. My biggest complain…probably in general, is that there is no way to take extra time off. I can only take 2.5 weeks a year and that is just stupid. Life becomes slaving away constantly without leaving the same 10 mile radius. That goes on for decades. Leads to extreme depression.

We only get one life and we make a sick joke out of it because there is no other way to survive. And then it degrades your morale even more until you are a helpless husk of a person who can’t find a way out.

7. Let’s all stop working for the weekend.

I would gladly work 4 ten hour days to have an extra day off. 2 day weekends are too short. They’re gone just as soon as you start to feel comfortable

6. Way too much time, indeed.

I feel like people are missing the point, which is that we need to shorten the work week/amount of time spent at work. When people say we should switch to 4 day work weeks, they don’t mean 4 tens or 4 twelves. We need to WORK LESS, meaning 4 day weeks that are still 8 hour days (or less, because most people could get the same amount of work done in 4 five or six hour days as they do spreading it out over 5 eights and procrastinating at work as much as they can). With adding in commuting time, and any time outside of work spent thinking about work, answering texts or emails, etc., the average adult spends way too much time on work.

5. There are benefits for employers, too.

My employer gives us every other Friday off. We work 80 hours over 9 days (M-F, M-Th). It’s really helpful to have those Fridays to schedule appointments, and I have less desire to burn PTO throughout the year just to take a much-needed Friday off (through the end of October, I had only used 2.5 PTO hours for the year, mostly for doctor’s visits). The only real downside is that on the Fridays that we do work, nobody wants to do anything.

4. You’ll still need work-life balance.

I’ve stopped donating time and freely use the phrase “donating time”, which nips in the bud any implied requirement to work past 40 hrs. My bosses have always known if there’s an emergency, I’ll be there with bells on and do whatever it takes (including being on site until 4 in the morning and back to work the next day), but other than that, they know to leave me alone.

Don’t get me started on the ‘must take an hour for lunch’ standard. The entire point of that is they know a lot of people will work at their desk while eating, so they get 9 hrs out of you instead of 8. I take my full hour at a local park.

Work-life balance is all about setting boundaries.

3. You can’t lose the benefits, though.

I’ll take the drop in salary.

Me, too. My biggest concern is that health insurance, retirement benefits, etc., are tied to employment in the United States. I’d happily work fewer hours for less pay if I could also maintain healthcare coverage and other benefits.

Health insurance and retirement benefits shouldn’t be tied to employment. It hamstrings employees, effectively retracting our freedom to move on to other employment or start our own businesses.

2. It could ease up on stress.

I work 4 9 hour days and then half-day Fridays. The Fridays themselves are awesome because even though it’s a “half day”, with the proximity to the weekend and how many people take those days off they’re barely work days at all. Not stressful at all. This is awesome too because you can get a 3 day weekend by only taking a half-vacation day.

The biggest downside that people don’t realize is how much working a 9 hour (or 10 hour, usually I’m here from 8-6) day really sucks. You arrive when it’s dark, you leave when it’s dark, and by the time you get home it’s 6:30/7 and you can do 1 thing before needing to go to bed. Working out, cooking, cleaning, all become a lot harder when you’re home at that hour instead of home at 5/5:30 every day.

The half day Fridays themselves can be a lot of fun in summer when there are things to do, but you know what happens in winter? I go home at 12 and sleep for a couple hours to make up for sleep deprivation earlier in the week lol. It all evens out in the end.

1. More tools to fight rising depression.

Working a 5 day work week just makes life seem so much more pointless. By the time I get the other things I need to do (grocery shopping, appointments, etc.) done, its Sunday night. A 4 day work week might give me time to play the piano I bought to combat depression.

I mean, working one less day is kind of a no-brainer, right? I definitely think so.

Would you rather keep the status quo? Sound off as to why or why not in the comments!

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15 Men Share the Moment They Knew They Wanted a Divorce

Marriage is tough, and the truth is (at least in my experience) that not everyone gets it right on the first (or second) try. It stands to reason, then, that there’s a moment for many of us when we realized that staying married to the person sharing our lives and our beds just wasn’t going to be an option.

If you’re curious what puts men over the edge in a relationship, well, these 15 guys are down to share.

15. I bet he wishes he could take the $15k back.

Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife’s Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300).

Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.

Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few times items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked “did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?”

At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.

14. That’ll do it.

When a friend’s wife said to me “You know your wife is sleeping with my husband.”

13. Too bad you couldn’t take your stepdaughter with you.

When my stepdaughter became a teenager, my ex ramped up the nutso. She had always been an impatient, angry screamer of a parent. But as my stepdaugher became a young woman, my ex just went crazy with envy or something. I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters, but their base level patience is so much better than my ex’s was. Threats of cutting hair in middle of night while daughter slept, pulling hair, slapping face, ridiculing in front of her friends, swinging something that missed and put a hole in the wall – I was out, with the kids.

12. Second chances should be more than enough.

I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. Came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. Confirmed her second affair. Knew it was over the moment I saw it. That has fucked me up pretty good.

11. I would have gone for the drama and the free drinks.

We flew across the country for her sister’s wedding. She didn’t say a word to me the entire time since we had parked at the airport. Once we landed at our destination, we walked to baggage claim (absolute silence preceding for several hours now). At the carousel, I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hand and calmly stated, “None of my family knows you’re here–I told them I came alone.” She walked out of the airport and left me there.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder made for some really fun scenarios.

10. He’s got some great friends.

When my buddies approached me to complain that she kept sitting on their laps, wiggling, and hoping for an erection.

9. Not that he needed permission, but.

When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her.

The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a “You should leave this relationship” look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn’t making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back.

I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end — not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.

Edit: shortened the story

8. That’s a big ol’ yikes.

The morning I saw a picture of some dudes dick on her phone. She was classy enough to bring him to the divorce proceedings…

7. It’s hard to watch people make your kids feel like that.

My wife was around less & less…had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, after promising to pick her up & have some girl time…..just tell her I’m working late or not feeling well. She always had something better to do & the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day, when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn’t mom, again, slumped her shoulders & slowly walked over to ask “what’s her excuse this time?” That was the breaking point, told her to get out, even helped pay her security deposit to get her out.

6. It’s okay to be happily divorced.

During the last year and a half of our marriage she became extremely psychologically abusive. She was a narcissist, controlled my every move, would isolate me, refused physical contact, I was just an extension to her life, was not allowed to talk to any female, was not allowed to hang out with any friends or she would ignore me for up to 5 days at a time, double standards everywhere, verbal abuse and the list can continue but it hurts to think about. The last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late even though she knew I would be home late. It was just a little too late for her and she also threatened to hit me the same day. This was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn’t. Thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and I’m happily divorced.

5. A good deal for whom, exactly?

I was a Lance Corporal bringing home scraps for a paycheck to an unemployed wife who one day brought home a brand new Lexus IS350 because she “got a good deal on it.” Apparently I was supposed to pay the $800/mo bill. I didn’t think it was a good deal.

4. Poor little dear.

She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls’ night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can’t). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff’s notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.

3. This one has to win some kind of award.

When she staged a robbery of our house so she could pawn all of my shit for drug money.

2. Oprah always knows best.

she made me watch Oprah and there was a quiz. Is Your Marriage Okay or not type thing. In my head I saw 7 or 10 items that were Not Okay. She didn’t see any. We had already been to counseling.

1. Shenanigans are overrated.

When she presented a picture of our four-year-old daughter and me laying next to each other on the couch watching Blues Clues to our marriage counselor as evidence of my “inappropriate conduct” around our kids.

Thank God he saw right through that bullshit immediately and told her to knock it off.

Edit: There is no Joe. #notmySteve

Edit 2: Many asked, so here’s the deal. We’ve been divorced almost five years now. The process wasn’t fair, but that wasn’t really my ex’s fault. No allegations of child abuse or misconduct were brought up against me during the proceedings, so that was good. They wouldn’t have flown for a minute in court anyway.

Our kids are older now and every day are becoming better equipped to see and understand the difference between what’s reasonable and right and what’s simply just batshit insane–and it’s not working out all that well for their mother, who hasn’t changed her MO much if at all since we parted ways. So it goes.

I’m happily remarried now to a woman with kids of her own–kids who were friends and schoolmates of MY kids before she and I even got to know each other. They’re all OUR kids now. Life is good. No more shenanigans.

Those are some doozies that I have no idea how they could have come back from, so yeah. Probably a good decision.

If you’ve got a moment like this in your past, share it with us in the comments!

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15 Men Share the Moment They Knew They Wanted a Divorce

Marriage is tough, and the truth is (at least in my experience) that not everyone gets it right on the first (or second) try. It stands to reason, then, that there’s a moment for many of us when we realized that staying married to the person sharing our lives and our beds just wasn’t going to be an option.

If you’re curious what puts men over the edge in a relationship, well, these 15 guys are down to share.

15. I bet he wishes he could take the $15k back.

Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife’s Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300).

Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.

Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few times items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked “did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?”

At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.

14. That’ll do it.

When a friend’s wife said to me “You know your wife is sleeping with my husband.”

13. Too bad you couldn’t take your stepdaughter with you.

When my stepdaughter became a teenager, my ex ramped up the nutso. She had always been an impatient, angry screamer of a parent. But as my stepdaugher became a young woman, my ex just went crazy with envy or something. I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters, but their base level patience is so much better than my ex’s was. Threats of cutting hair in middle of night while daughter slept, pulling hair, slapping face, ridiculing in front of her friends, swinging something that missed and put a hole in the wall – I was out, with the kids.

12. Second chances should be more than enough.

I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. Came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. Confirmed her second affair. Knew it was over the moment I saw it. That has fucked me up pretty good.

11. I would have gone for the drama and the free drinks.

We flew across the country for her sister’s wedding. She didn’t say a word to me the entire time since we had parked at the airport. Once we landed at our destination, we walked to baggage claim (absolute silence preceding for several hours now). At the carousel, I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hand and calmly stated, “None of my family knows you’re here–I told them I came alone.” She walked out of the airport and left me there.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder made for some really fun scenarios.

10. He’s got some great friends.

When my buddies approached me to complain that she kept sitting on their laps, wiggling, and hoping for an erection.

9. Not that he needed permission, but.

When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her.

The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a “You should leave this relationship” look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn’t making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back.

I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end — not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.

Edit: shortened the story

8. That’s a big ol’ yikes.

The morning I saw a picture of some dudes dick on her phone. She was classy enough to bring him to the divorce proceedings…

7. It’s hard to watch people make your kids feel like that.

My wife was around less & less…had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, after promising to pick her up & have some girl time…..just tell her I’m working late or not feeling well. She always had something better to do & the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day, when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn’t mom, again, slumped her shoulders & slowly walked over to ask “what’s her excuse this time?” That was the breaking point, told her to get out, even helped pay her security deposit to get her out.

6. It’s okay to be happily divorced.

During the last year and a half of our marriage she became extremely psychologically abusive. She was a narcissist, controlled my every move, would isolate me, refused physical contact, I was just an extension to her life, was not allowed to talk to any female, was not allowed to hang out with any friends or she would ignore me for up to 5 days at a time, double standards everywhere, verbal abuse and the list can continue but it hurts to think about. The last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late even though she knew I would be home late. It was just a little too late for her and she also threatened to hit me the same day. This was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn’t. Thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and I’m happily divorced.

5. A good deal for whom, exactly?

I was a Lance Corporal bringing home scraps for a paycheck to an unemployed wife who one day brought home a brand new Lexus IS350 because she “got a good deal on it.” Apparently I was supposed to pay the $800/mo bill. I didn’t think it was a good deal.

4. Poor little dear.

She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls’ night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can’t). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff’s notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.

3. This one has to win some kind of award.

When she staged a robbery of our house so she could pawn all of my shit for drug money.

2. Oprah always knows best.

she made me watch Oprah and there was a quiz. Is Your Marriage Okay or not type thing. In my head I saw 7 or 10 items that were Not Okay. She didn’t see any. We had already been to counseling.

1. Shenanigans are overrated.

When she presented a picture of our four-year-old daughter and me laying next to each other on the couch watching Blues Clues to our marriage counselor as evidence of my “inappropriate conduct” around our kids.

Thank God he saw right through that bullshit immediately and told her to knock it off.

Edit: There is no Joe. #notmySteve

Edit 2: Many asked, so here’s the deal. We’ve been divorced almost five years now. The process wasn’t fair, but that wasn’t really my ex’s fault. No allegations of child abuse or misconduct were brought up against me during the proceedings, so that was good. They wouldn’t have flown for a minute in court anyway.

Our kids are older now and every day are becoming better equipped to see and understand the difference between what’s reasonable and right and what’s simply just batshit insane–and it’s not working out all that well for their mother, who hasn’t changed her MO much if at all since we parted ways. So it goes.

I’m happily remarried now to a woman with kids of her own–kids who were friends and schoolmates of MY kids before she and I even got to know each other. They’re all OUR kids now. Life is good. No more shenanigans.

Those are some doozies that I have no idea how they could have come back from, so yeah. Probably a good decision.

If you’ve got a moment like this in your past, share it with us in the comments!

The post 15 Men Share the Moment They Knew They Wanted a Divorce appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share 15 Stories of Intense Hallucinations Caused by Sleep Deprivation

It is used as a torture technique (by some), and if you’ve ever been a new parent experiencing chronic sleep deprivation or someone with an illness causing acute or chronic sleeplessness, you probably already know that it’s no joke.

If it’s never happened to you, though, the intensity of these 15 hallucinations should definitely convince you to be eternally grateful for that fact.

15. As long as you don’t start to feed it.

Comment from discussion lenadelray’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

14. When even keeping your eyes open doesn’t help.

Comment from discussion FirstThoughtResponse’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

13. You kind of ARE going crazy.

Comment from discussion damndingashrubbery’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

12. Like deja vu you just can’t shake.

Comment from discussion -DementedAvenger-‘s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

11. When you have no idea what day it is. Or was.

Comment from discussion dwil22’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

10. Ever thought about what your donut delivery might be costing someone?

Comment from discussion LunaticSongXIV’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

9. Try unpacking that in therapy.

Comment from discussion _-No0ne-_’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

8. When you start to hear (the wrong) colors.

Comment from discussion sleepyprojectionist’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

7. It’s always the cats.

Comment from discussion MistressLyda’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

6. A horror story, for real.

Comment from discussion pachocanadian’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

5. Why a construction worker? Brains are weird.

Comment from discussion salem-sunset’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

4. This is your brain on drugs…and no sleep.

Comment from discussion eggosandnosebleeds’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

3. Do not recommend.

Comment from discussion DeadFamilyMan’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

2. Creepy as hell.

Comment from discussion ShootyMcSnipe’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

1. Time to pull over.

Comment from discussion wildgoose2000’s comment from discussion "For those of you who have been sleep deprived enough to hallucinate, what was it like?".

I’ve been tired, even sleep-deprived, but never like this. Thank goodness.

Do you have any horror stories that resulted from too little sleep?

Share with us in the comments!

The post People Share 15 Stories of Intense Hallucinations Caused by Sleep Deprivation appeared first on UberFacts.

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Women Share How Guys Can Approach Them Without Being Creepy

Approaching a stranger in public is always intimidating, and there are guys out there who want to know how to do it right. No one wants to come off as creepy or desperate, and they certainly don’t want girls reaching for their pepper spray.

So, some girls on Reddit have chimed in with advice – take it or leave it. I’d take it though cause I think they’re trying to help.

15. An interesting tidbit should always grease the wheels.

“Hey, did you know that Pac-Man’s original name was Puck-Man? It’s based on paku paku, the japanese term for chewing. But when the game went to America they got worried people would change the ‘P’ to an ‘F’… So that’s Pac-Man now.”

14. Respect the headphones or book.

Don’t automatically hit on me or just assert yourself. Bring in common interests or ask me a simple question like “Oh is that a Manchester Orchestra shirt?” or something like that. I’m super friendly and will talk to most people as long as I don’t feel threatened or uncomfortable. If I have my headphones in or I’m reading a book, please don’t start a length conversation with me.

13. Try to seem actually interested.

It won’t come off as creepy if you start with something that seems like a genuine interest. I go to book stores A LOT and a guy once chatted to me about how much he liked Murakami since I was looking at some of those titles. This could be something like a band shirt or a video game they’re looking at playing. Basically it’s like you see us as a person with interests and feelings rather than someone you’re just trying to bang.

Not only does it make you seem like you’re actually interested, but you’ll most likely find a girl you actually have something in common with, rather than just a random human you find physically attractive.

12. Guys. Listen to her.

Keep an eye open for signs of wanting to be left alone, like wearing headphones or reading a book.

edit: okay, so 7k upvotes, and an inbox telling me I’m trash and wrong. Okay, Reddit.

11. Genuine compliments take work, but they’re worth it.

give a genuine compliment on something small you’ve noticed – an accessory, personality trait or her laugh. or try to notice something she’s noticing, or looking at, and comment on it!

10. It is true that girls like snacks.

A guy at a bus stop asked me what my favorite snack was. We talked about popcorn for ten minutes before the bus got there. By the time we boarded the bus, I was really wanting some popcorn and he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie and get some popcorn. Of course I did. That guy was a genius. Girls like snacks.

EDIT (since a few people are curious)we dated for 5 months. He was a great man, but we had different goals. I’m sure he’s still hanging out in Austin, you can probably run into him at any S 1st bar.

9. Here’s what NOT to do.

One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of guys don’t think it’s creepy to ask where I live if I’m on/waiting for public transport. If you’ve just met me and open with that, there’s no way I’m telling you any more locally than in the town/city we are already in. I’ve asked guy friends about it though and they all seemed genuinely surprised that I thought it was creepy. Have gotten off buses early before because of this because I’ve felt uncomfortable with a stranger knowing where I live. Don’t get me wrong, if we’ve been chatting and it’s likely we’d chat again then it’s ok to ask, but not in the first 2 minutes.

Edit: for clarification, I understand that a specific address isn’t being asked for, but if I’m on a bus you can guess it’s somewhere along that route or if it’s at a stop ( which in my experience is more likely) you’ve got an even better idea to start with that I live close by. If you’re immediately following up with ‘because I know about XYZ which is local and interesting’ that’s probably fine and not creepy. Sorry to anyone who’s favourite pick up line has been insulted /s

8. He’s not wrong, even if he did jump in on a girl’s thread.

I once said to a girl “hey we are in the same math class right?” And now we are married.

Always take math guys. ALWAYS. that’s the key.

EDIT: Based on the responses I’ve received, math is the way to go. Seems a lot of people out there have meet their SO due to a math class. And for those asking, yes I did actually have a math class with her. No, I did not ask her this while in said math class. rolls eyes Thanks for the laughs and stories guys.

7. Yes. Girls are people.

Guy here that learned a hard lesson.

It’s not about how to approach girls. Learn how to approach people.

The easiest way is to compliment every time something catches your eye. To everybody. NOT something they were born with or generic. Things like “I love the pattern on that shirt!” or “Hey, that necklace is super cool!” I’ve even complimented makeup.

The next step is to read their response. Did they ignore you or just give a simple “thanks” and move on? Move on, they took the compliment but aren’t interested in conversation. Did they get mad? Keep practicing, you picked something they weren’t intentionally trying to show you. Did they brighten up and start talking? Carry on, friend, you nailed it!

The idea is simple. They picked the thing you complimented because they thought it looked good. Complimenting that is validating their taste and nothing more, which if done casually is REALLY hard to be creepy or annoying. And as an added bonus, it’s assumed you are saying they look good in it. So it’s two compliments in one with almost no risk of doing it wrong.

6. Don’t try too hard to keep the conversation going.

Find anything you can in common. Just bring up your common interest. Make sure you ask open ended questions, so the conversation doesn’t seem forced.

As long as it feels like a genuine interest, it won’t come off as creepy.

5. Simple, yet effective.

“Hey, wanna see pictures of my cat?”

4. This would work with graphic tees.

“I like your shirt. I don’t get the reference but it looks cool.” Boom opens dialogue and a interest in what she’s interested in.

3. At least pretend to have a common interest.

One very important thing to keep in mind:

Approaching with no perception of any common interests will make it difficult to have a genuine conversation that doesn’t feel forced. For example, don’t just approach someone random because you think they’re pretty, only to have this be your only point of attraction. Many girls will write off guys who do this because their intentions are clearly superficial from the get go. Sure, he was interested in starting a conversation, but his initial attention wasn’t drawn by anything substantial.

Instead, try to observe a possible common interest to start your conversation with. This could be anything from a band t-shirt from a band you like, to something you overheard her say earlier that shows you have something in common you can talk about. If you want to increase your chances of success with this, try meeting people at places where common-interests congregate. For example, people who go to art exhibitions generally have an eye for art. People who go to comic conventions are generally nerdy. People who go to video game tournaments are generally gamers. People who go to sporting events are generally sport fans. This automatically gives you something to talk about, or a small base on which to build a more stable conversation.

If you want to further avoid being creepy or annoying, don’t go into it with a “flirting” mindset. Girls know that guys who flirt with them before even knowing who they are tend to be shallow men with superficial motivations. Get to know someone based on conversation first. IF that conversation goes really well and you feel like you’re hitting it off, and you’ve guessed that they’re single, playfulness and mild flirting isn’t out of the question.

Tips for the nervous and socially awkward!:

Don’t push yourself to get to know people who aren’t reciprocating your conversational attempts, or who seem disinterested. It’s usually not a reflection on you, it’s a reflection of you BOTH. The other person may just not be interested at the time, or may not share your enthusiasm for the topic at hand. That’s ok! A simple “it’s been nice chatting with you, see you around!” Will suffice.

Don’t force yourself to be interested in a PERSON for the sake of conversation. Try expressing your interest in something within the ENVIRONMENT and then bring the person into that conversation. Examples: art at a museum, cheer stunts at a sport event, video game demos at a convention, pool game at the bar, there’s always something in the environment that they may already be engaged with. This is a good chance to talk to someone. It puts a lot less pressure on a stranger when they feel like your mutual interest in something ELSE is the reason to continue the conversation, not your interest in THEM. (This also takes pressure off of you, because you can direct “get to know you” questions at them, or you can talk about the thing in front of you both).

If you get rejected or have a disinterested reaction at any point, remember that this is a reflection of your compatibility with THAT person, not all people.

EDIT: thanks to everyone for the massive support and appreciation on this comment. Dyadic relations is my field and I’ve helped a lot of people with this irl. I’m MORE THAN happy to share this advice with Reddit. Thanks to whoever gave me Reddit Silver AND NOW GOLD! You’re a true gem <3

2. Extra tip: actually listen to her answer.

Yes! This is exactly it! Approaching girls is just approaching people. I agree with all the examples given in this comment, but would also add that I particularly like when people start talking to me about random observations that we sort of share in, about wherever we are.

For example, we’re in line at the grocery store. Someone behind me might say, “Hey, do you always come to this store? Is it always this busy on Sundays?”

Then we’re going to have a conversation about what time of day is best at all the nearby grocery stores, including that one.

If we’re at a restaurant, someone might say, “Have you ever tried the the chicken cacciatore here?”

To which I would reply, “Well, I’m vegetarian, so I haven’t tried that, but can very positively recommend the pasta primavera. What are some of your other favorite Italian foods?”

Or if we’re anywhere, and someone drives by in a really interesting car, point it out! I love stuff like that!

Just any question or observation that you’d make with a fellow human being is the way to go.

1. It’s okay to back off if she – or you – aren’t feeling it.

Make a comment about something happening around you. If you’re at a bar or coffee shop or restaurant and some random is doing something funny or wearing something weird, point it out. Say a guy across the room is wearing a huge purple hat, say something like “Do you see that guy’s hat? It’s crazy. Would you wear something like that?” And if she responds with a grunt or a single word answer, then she isn’t interested and go back to your friends or do your own thing. If she responds with a whole sentence, like “I like his hat, I’d wear that,” then go ahead and keep talking to her.

Three pieces of advice:

Back off if she doesn’t seem interested in the conversation.

If you have a genuinely good conversation (meaning you actually got along well), offer her your number. If she’s interested, she’ll reach out. If she takes it and isn’t interested, she felt obligated to take it but she wasn’t interested. If she doesn’t take it, say something like, “Well, thank you for the conversation!” or “Have a good night/day!” and smile, then go do your own thing, especially if you’re sat next to each other at a restaurant or something and there’s no leaving until one of you gets the check. Go on your phone or something to end the conversation fully so she can relax and get back to her own stuff.

Don’t get ahead of yourself. If you’re going to talk to someone, don’t make it about getting her number or seeing her again before you even know if you connect. Conversations with strangers are only creepy if you feel like they are trying to get something from you. If they’re enjoying the conversation and are happy to stay at a conversation, it won’t be creepy. Think of the difference between having chill small talk with the cashier at a grocery store and the kiosk guy who follows you a few steps at the mall. One feels desperate and annoying, and the other is relaxed and can be fun.

If you’re looking for a new podcast and are interested in dating, I highly recommend “U up?” The hosts are a man (Jared Fried) and woman (Jordana Abraham) in their 30s and take listener emails about dating and relationships. They do a good job at presenting actionable steps towards being a more fun dater. I listen to it every week because they are hilarious and have very different perspectives on most of dating issues young people face.

As a woman, I have to agree with these ladies!

What do you think about pickup lines, and meeting strangers out in public? If you have any tricks for weeding them out, please share in the comments!

The post Women Share How Guys Can Approach Them Without Being Creepy appeared first on UberFacts.