Police Officers Talk About the Smartest Criminals They’ve Ever Encountered

It’s been a permanent fixture of film, television, and literature for years. The cunning criminal who is so bright that they routinely outsmart the police and make them look foolish.

But this phenomenon exists in real life too, believe it or not.

AskReddit users shared their stories about especially smart criminals.

Let’s see what they had to say.

1. That is insane.

“My favorite was the guy who stole a post office mailbox off the street, repainted it, and then put it next to the night deposit box at a bank.

And hung an out-of-order sign on the deposit box. All the businesses came along and dropped off their deposits in the mailbox.”

2. Ahhhhh, the GPS.

“I worked crime scenes. This guy had attached GPS to the bottom of peoples cars who owned houses, he wanted to rob.

He did it to ensure they wouldn’t be showing up while he was ransacking the place.”

3. Almost got away with it.

“I remember an officer telling me about a B&E alarm he and his team responded to. No one was there to report the alarm, it must have been a security monitoring company that called.

When police showed up, everything seemed normal, most lights were off, and there was an employee still working. Explains he was there working late and must have set off an alarm.

They almost believed him until he said “uhh” before saying the name of the company he worked for. After that it was downhill but with a little more research he would have pretty much gotten away with it.”

4. On parole…

“There’s one guy I recently dealt with who is on parole. I stopped him in my city after he was looking to buy drugs (usually people come from all over to buy drugs and then leave). I issue him a warning and let him go as it’s pretty common and he sang like a bird regarding the people he was trying to buy from.

Anyway, the next day, I got a call from his parole officer who says he was alerted the guy was pulled over and wanted to verify that It was his guy that I stopped. I’m a little confused at first but he goes on to say that the day before, he was scheduled to meet with him but he had an excuse and bailed.

His excuse was that he was in the hospital. Well when he spoke with him the following day, he was able to provide documentation that he had entered the hospital day 1 and had left day 2. Well I had stopped him at 115 in the morning and after looking at the picture, it was 100% him.

Turns out the guy had checked in then out of the hospital on day 1, then in and out again on day 2. He then re arranged half the paperwork to make it look like he was in the hospital overnight which would make my car stop of him appear like I mixed him up with someone else as well as give him a valid excuse to miss their meeting.

Not sure what’s gonna happen to that guy but I thought it was pretty clever.”

5. It’s cold outside.

“Worked at a jail. After getting off work, I watched an ex inmate (homeless) being released, he walked over to a patrol car, looked me in the eye, and the elbowed the window in. He was walked back to the entrance and re-booked in. It was middle of January. He didn’t want to get too cold.

To the people talking about “Can’t break car windows.” That’s true. Also depends on the car. The patrol car they used was specifically old model. Used more for the perimeter of the jail unless other patrol cars were in the shop. Those windows had been replaced so many times. Idk if it’s the same material or what.”

6. The great state of Costco.

“A friend of my brother moved to Israel where for a period of time it was/is acceptable to drive with an American driver’s license.

He was pulled over for speeding, and when asked for his license, gave the officer his Costco card (Costco is a membership-based retail warehouse in the US and a few other countries. The exchange apparently went something like this: Officer: “Costco? What is Costco?”

Friend: “It’s the state I’m from.”

Officer: “That sounds made up.”

Friend: “There are lots of states you probably haven’t heard of. Have you heard of Arkansas? How about Idaho?”

Officer: “I guess not…”

Friend: “Well I’m from the small state of Costco.”

The officer didn’t have a response and wound up writing the ticket to someone with a Costco driver’s license. Friend framed the ticket and still has it hanging on his wall.”

7. It all adds up.

“One guy would print barcodes, bring them into home depot and stick them on merchandise in the $100 range. When scanned the items came up around the $10 range. Putting random barcodes on things isnt really illegal and super hard to notice. Guy two would come in an hour later and buy the underpriced stuff. Complete plausible deniability. They would then sell the stuff on Ebay.

Only reason they got caught is because the guy with the barcode printer/software cut the second guy out of the operation so guy 2 stole a bunch of barcodes, put them on the merchandise and paid for it immediately afterwards. He then proceeded to rat on the first guy and spilled the beans they had been doing this on a weekly basis for over four years.

Because we could only pin the one case on him, the burglary was dropped down to a pretty theft and he walked away with a few days in county and a small fine. Dude probably took homedepot for tens of thousands over the years.”

8. Fraud!

“I have a nice story from insurance/debt collectors.

There was this guy who was already in heaps of debt. Like more than a lifetimes worth of debt.

He proceeded to file several policereports for identity theft up to the point that he got protected from financial checkups – It was a temporary measure that were given to repeated identity theft victims. At the same time he had reported fake income to the IRS for the last couple of years to between 40 to 60 millions depending on the year.

So when he applied for credit cards and loans, they were unable to check his financial credit (Due to the identity theft protection) but they checked his tax returns which showed he had a massive income.

Got his loans and credit cards – emptied them out and left the country.”

9. Very clever…

“A while back, there was a series of thefts along the bus lines in my country. People’s things kept missing from one city to the next, and nobody had any idea what happened as things were presumably safe in the bottom of the bus which nobody except the driver had the access to.

What happened?

Apparently there were two guys, one of whom was really small. You get where this is going. The big guy would put the little guy in a suitcase, buy a ticket to somewhere, load him up with the rest of the luggage, and enjoy the ride, while the little guy went out, stole people’s electronics, jewelry, cameras and whatnot, then returned to his suitcase until the ride was over.

Not really sure how they caught them, but it was pretty amusing to read about, and i found the whole thing clever enough.”

10. This guy wasn’t messing around.

“There was an incident in Fargo ND where a guy wanted to steal electronics equipment. The store had plenty of alarms on it and generally cutting an alarm triggers an alarm so instead he cut ALL the alarms. This was before cellphones were really widespread and alarms were usually just connected to the phone line.

He found an access point to one of the phone companies big trunk lines (correction: 9 access points). Massive thick copper cables with tens of thousands of lines running through them. He cut through the whole thing with a circular saw, knocked out phone service to most of the town and robbed an audio store during the ensuing chaos.

There were no leads until a tip came in from another town where he’d pulled something similar. They hadn’t been able to pin that to him but had strong suspicions and he’d relocated to Fargo. So the cops pay him a visit. He refused to let them in because they didn’t have a warrant so the cops left to get one without leaving anyone to watch him and he split. When they came back they found the saw coated in copper dust and a lot of the stolen stuff.

He was in the wind for a while but even after he got caught he had another card to play. While being transported between prisons he used a key he’d made to unlock his shackles and climbed out the roof vent of the bus.”

11. In broad daylight.

“20 years ago a guy on Australia’s Gold Coast got away with a bank robbery in broad daylight.

He cased the bank for a while and discovered a pattern of the bank manager arriving about 30 minutes before anyone else each morning where he would leave the front doors unlocked so staff could help themselves in without a key or needing to wait for the boss to come and let them in.

One morning the crook dressed himself up for a busy day of office work and waited for the bank manager to arrive. As the manager was unlocking the doors he made his move, entering the building and threatening the manager with a gun. He got all the details he’d need to access the vault and so forth and then tied the manager up and stuffed him in his office.

When the staff arrived he told them that the manager had called in sick and that regional office had sent him in to do the open shop thing and no one batted an eyelid. This bank had a small walk in vault that normally only held about 30-50k on any given day but old mate had timed his robbery for the morning after business banking day when all the local small businesses would make their end of week deposits and reportedly got a score of close to 250k.

Once the vault was open he pulled his gun out and invited all the staff to enter the vault and locked them in. By this stage the bank was due to be open so when he went to leave there were a number of customers waiting to get inside to do their banking.

He told them all that there had been an issue with the computers and that the tech team had estimated it would take about 30 minutes before the issue would be resolved and that they couldn’t open until then.

Then he got into his car and drove straight to the airport and flew to Hong Kong and then disappeared.

To my knowledge the cops never caught him and never managed to find the money – they knew he’d have had to leave most of it in Australia somewhere because you can only take 10k aud in cash in any currency out of the country before customs pulls you into their interview rooms so the assumption was that he had to have an accomplice here who would funnel the money to him slowly over time.”

12. Never got caught.

“Several years ago in Cape Coral FL, a man waited on a sidewalk in front of a Publix grocery store and used a taser on an armored car guard carrying too bags of money.

A get away driver in a car with stolen tags pulled up, taser guy and money bags get in and they took off. Never caught.”

13. Small-town crime.

“Probably one of the smartest robberies in my small city.

One of the main streets is cut into a hillside and, as a result, there is a very steep and quite tall concrete-covered bank immediately behind the buildings. Between two buildings there is a gap that was filled at the street-end by an ATM.

To access it for filling, the security staff went through the next door building, out a side door and into the gap, which had the ATM at one end and the steep bank at the other. On the Friday before Christmas, when the ATM was to be filled to the brim, one of the robbers abseiled down the bank at night into the gap and waited for the guys to arrive to fill the ATM (they came early in the morning).

As they came through the door into the gap, he held them up, took the money, and took off through the building to an accomplice waiting in a van on the main street. Then the van took off on the main road out of the city and vanished.

After a big search, the police finally found the burnt-out van. Turned out the gang had driven it up a gorge road and had two other accomplices in cars at the top and bottom of the gorge who simultaneously drove really slowly into the gorge and held up the traffic so that no one was there to see them when they turned off down an access road into some bush.

They ended up being caught, because one of the gang was a former employee of the security company.”

14. Working the system.

“I worked with this one guy who had a lengthy record. He had a system for getting released if he got caught. After committing a crime, if the police were in pursuit and he knew he was about to be cornered, he would act insane.

His girl would play along with it telling the police that he was off his medication. The police would arrest him but then send him to a mental ward with papers instructing the ward to release to police once he was cleared. Once he was in the mental ward, he would cause a distraction that would make the person attending the desk with the file cabinet to leave said cabinet.

He would then crawl to the file cabinet, look for his “release to police” papers, and then would literally eat the papers. When the psych evaluators decided that he was stable enough to be released, there would be no instructions to send him to the police, and he would be released to the general public.

He did this about 10 times until police officers noticed him back on the streets. This stunt forced the state to change their procedure for detaining mentally unstable suspects.”

As someone who is pretty obsessed with crime, these stories were very interesting to me.

Now we want to hear from you!

Have you run across any wily criminals in your day?

Maybe as a cop, a lawyer, or in some other capacity?

Tell us about them in the comments!

The post Police Officers Talk About the Smartest Criminals They’ve Ever Encountered appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss What It Would Take to Make Them 100% Happy in Life

This is a difficult question for any person to answer: what would it take to make you 100% happy.

I think some folks out there don’t even believe that a person can be 100% happy…but I guess it all depends on the individual…

Some people want big, grand things in their lives and others want simplicity

Here’s what folks on AskReddit had to say about the matter.

1. Very lonely.

“A friend or, God forbid, a girlfriend.

I’ve been out of college several years now and I’ve been friendless ever since. Hard to be excited about something and have nobody to tell.”

2. All they’ve ever wanted.

“I think finding someone who genuinely loves me for who I am and wants a present and future with me.

That’s all I’ve ever really wanted.”

3. Needing a break.

“Man if I had childcare in this moment I would totally lay down for like 2 hours for a nap!

But I. I am the childcare.”

4. Money issues.

“Being debt-free.

Student loans make up at least 80% of my stress…”

5. A big loss.

“Having my dog. His final vet visit was a couple hours ago.

I’m out of country working so I had to say my goodbyes when I left after Christmas. It’s very difficult by myself.

He was a great pet. He picked our family at 8 weeks. He was well loved and looked after.

His ashes will be joining me when it’s my turn.”

6. Like it used to be.

“My wife to be well again. If she felt better and we could hang out like we used to, I honestly feel like my life would be perfect.”

7. This sounds nice.

“A cabin in the woods, near a river. Solid and beautiful. Lots of windows, and an incredible view. It’ll smell like cedar and pipe tobacco. A simple wood shop, and maybe a small painting studio. A large wood-burning fireplace. A cozy kitchen; nothing fancy.

Really good coffee in mismatched mugs. Plenty of bourbon and wine. Loooots of books, and enough time to actually read them. Walks in the woods with my wife and dog. Fishing, canoeing, and shore lunches. Watching wildlife. Drawing and painting. A nice little town nearby (but just far enough away) with a good bookstore, an old diner, and a lively tavern (need a spot to watch those Packers games).

A well-seasoned and reliable old truck to get us there and back. Long days with my wife, listening to music (on vinyl), laughing, cooking, making love. Never feeling bored, never feeling rushed. Time enough to be able to just be us, and do all those things we never seem to get around to doing.”

8. Three things.

“A cure for writers block, a long attention span, and 3 extra inches in height.”

9. Best wishes to you!

“My daughter being old enough so I can take her home, she was born at 32 weeks, she might be coming home in a week :)!”

10. Need to recapture that.

“To just have energy and enthusiasm again.

It feels like I’ve had very little energy for anything for almost 10 years now. I feel like a passive observer in my life most of the time. Im doing what I’m supposed to, but any enjoyment has long since died.”

11. These are good goals.

“To finish college ( pretty soon), get my optometry degree and become an optometrist in the rural and underserved areas in US.

Also, a significant other who will be there beside me.”

12. Wouldn’t this be nice for everyone?

“Affordable healthcare forreal. I have to wait until I can save up enough to see the ENT again.. last run it went : see specialist, go to imaging center, back to specialist for results (that can be relayed via phone.

Cost $165 just to have him hand me a piece of paper), then to the surgical center. Just to find out what he thought was causing my eustachian tube issues, isn’t the problem. Back to square fucking one with $0.. America, please get your shit together.

I work 50 hours a week, I bust my ass, I haven’t been without a job since I was 15.. I’m in my thirties. At this rate I won’t see 60 because it’ll cost too much to fucking live that long”

13. In a lot of pain.

“No more pain.

I want to be able to check my own mail, take a walk out back, do groceries without using the go cart. Walk without using a cane. Be out of bed for most of the day.

Hell, I’d be 100% happy with 70% less pain.”

14. Here’s the list.

“8-9 hours of sleep every night, at least 4 very good friends and a knowledge of who everyone around me is, being really smart and having a secure job as a marine biologist studying the deep ocean. Also a happy family with kids who I take to get cookies on Fridays.”

15. For my son.

“My son’s doctor to call me and say he is completely cured and will grow up normal and healthy, he can stop any medicine he currently takes (about 16 pills a day for a 2 year old is a lot) and we never have to go back to the doctor.”

16. Go for it!

“Being able to ask out a woman i am attracted to instead of always chickening out.”

17. Another chance.

“Being pregnant again, with the 100% assurance that this time the baby will live.”

18. The good stuff.

“Get hired for a really awesome part time job.

Find a gym buddy I connect with and start exercising again.

Make strides every week in therapy and in managing my addictions.

Meet a great girl who I have tons of chemistry with.

My mom getting really good news about her medical condition and her recovering as close to 100% as possible.

Meeting new friends with healthy habits.”

19. Something to think about.

“Happiness is an inside Job.

I spent many years chasing “the dream.” Dream job, SO, toys, etc. It’s all just stuff. Only when I almost lost everything did I finally wake up and realize what is truly important in this life. Right now.

What are you doing right now to make your life better? No one else is/can make you happy, truly happy. Tomorrow is a wish and yesterday is gone. If you try and live in those two places you are pissing all-over today.”

20. I think a lot of people feel this way.

“Start earning enough money to not be stressed, and to be free of any mental health issues.”

Everyone is different, and that’s one of the things that makes living in the crazy world very interesting!

What about you?

What would make you a completely happy person?

Please share your thoughts with us in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Discuss What It Would Take to Make Them 100% Happy in Life appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Unique Things They Have in Their Homes

What’s the rarest thing you have in your house?

I’m talking about something you have in your home that most people definitely don’t have in theirs…

It could be worth a lot of money, or maybe it’s something that is priceless only to you.

AskReddit users opened up and talked about the rare items they own.

Enjoy!

1. He is missed.

“I got an autograph from Chef Anthony Bourdain.

His was just about the only celebrity death that had a real impact on me.”

2. Memories from my grandfather.

“I have a large storage container filled to the top with McDonald’s toys. Before my grandfather passed away he would go and get a coffee every morning and would get me a toy from there when he got a coffee.

I’ve kept them ever since. I can bring myself to part with them. I have full collections of the Monsters Inc toys, the Lilo and Stitch toys, Winnie the Pooh, Beanie Babies, etc. 90’s and early 2000’s toys. That man was a saint, and my hero.”

3. Talkin’ about money.

“An uncut currency sheet.

It is 50 1 dollar bills that were never cut when the came out of the US Mint.”

4. That is unique.

“8 different copies of the secret garden by Frances Burnett.

It is not my favorite book. I first recieved and read a copy of it when I was 9, so it is a very sentimental book for me.

I have so many copies because I enjoy collecting the more beautiful art styles that it gets published in. As a classic it gets republished very frequently so to prevent me from just buying way too many copies I re-read the book everytime I buy a new one.”

5. How did that happen?

“A balloon that was inflated a couple days before I was born. 17 years later and it has barely lost any air.”

6. Now, that’s old!

“An antique ship anchor from the year 1597.

Dredged up from The river Maas.

Its not a huge anchor from a full sized manowar or something. Those were the size of a house. I think this was from a fishing vessel or a small trade vessel for river trade here in the Netherlands.

Not found by me unfortunately but I bought it from the man who did. Found in the ’70s.

The date it was made is on the anchor. And the mark on it is a kind of “house mark” these marks were used by rich but not noble families, no cost of arms, to mark stuff that was theirs.

Around 60 kg but it’s a guess.

Height: 124 CM Width: 81 CM.”

7. That’s…different.

“A collection of human teeth stuck on a candle.”

8. A piece of history.

“A piece of the Berlin wall.

I have a chunk on my dresser. I got for my mom when we visited Germany last summer because she told me stories of when she lived there, touching the wall was a quick way to get shot. I wanted her to be able to touch the wall and not get shot, so I brought some wall home for her!”

9. Sounds like a classy dwelling.

“A neon sign that says Fuck.

And I’ve got a small version of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story.”

10. That’s rare, indeed.

“A have a custom made Harry Potter wand.

I worked on the Fantastic Beasts 2 film (part of the Harry Potter Universe) and was gifted it by the  director and producer. It has my name on it too.”

11. Family heirloom.

“An opal ring that has been passed down in my family for generations.”

12. All kinds of stuff.

“I’ve probably got quite a few, I have a few rather large lumps of obsidian, an alligator’s head, some nearly 100 year old books too.

Two music boxes made to look like San Francisco cable cars, also got an Albert Einstein bobble head (like the ones from Night at the Museum 2).”

13. Gettin’ wild!

“My 80+ Hawaiian shirt collection.

Yea, I’m boring like that.”

14. Signed and all…

“I’ve got a book signed by Cornelius Vanderbilt. I bought it at a used book store for a dollar because it looked cool. Flipped through the first few pages and there it was! It is an inscription from him to his advisor, given as a gift.

Had it authenticated by a Vanderbilt expert (I lived near one of their mansions at the time, and there were several historical sites and museums there with people who knew more than I did)

So that was a fun find.”

15. House of horrors.

“The foot from a real human skeleton. Six human incisors. A mummified bobcat heart. An alligator skull. A muskdeer skull. A human shoulder blade.

A light-up, car-top “funeral” sign, like the one on Joe Bob Briggs fridge, a water buffalo skull, a Cthulhu glow in the dark bank.

I really, really like weird shit.”

16. I’d love to read those.

“Letters written by my great-great-grandfather to his wife in 1917, while he was POW in Russia as part of Austro-Hungarian army at the end of WWI.”

17. Snap into a Slim Jim!

“I have a Macho Man Randy Savage head that was used as a Slim Jim display down at work.

We got an extra one and I asked for it so now he just sits at my desk arms folded staring menacingly, holding pens in the part the Slim Jim would go.”

18. Very strange…

“I have about 1,500 empty perfume bottles.

My girlfriend collects them. I get anxiety walking past them.”

19. This has to be one-of-a-kind.

“A copy of the Quran signed by porn star Ron Jeremy.

I call it the Quran Jeremy.”

20. It still works?!?!

“A working ipod from 2004.”

I’d like to get my hands on some of those items!

How about you?

What do you have in your home that is really rare?

Please share with us in the comments!

The post People Share the Unique Things They Have in Their Homes appeared first on UberFacts.

Celebrities Who Got Away With Doing Bad Things Because of Their Fame

It’s a fact of life that famous people and people with a lot of money get away with all kinds of things when it comes to crime and scandal.

Also, sometimes the general public just kind of seems to “forget” about really bad things celebrities do because they’re, well, celebrities and people are obsessed with fame.

What celebrities do you think have been let off the hook for bad things because of their fame?

AskReddit users shared their thoughts on the subject.

1. Rock n’ roll bad boy.

“Vince Neil of Motley Creue drove drunk and killed one of his very good friends and gave the 2 people in the other car very bad injuries and brain damage.

He also had other DUIs after this.

But hey everybody loves a good party song and now he has a famous liquor brand.”

2. A lot of talk about this guy.

“R Kelly married Aaliyah when she was 15 years old in the mid 90’s and yet it took like two decades for people to start boycotting him as a sexual predator.

He was still making songs with beyonce and lady gaga etc for a looooong time.”

3. I’m Rick James, bitch!

“Rick James kidnapped TWO women with his wife while on separate crack binges.”

4. From the old days of wrestling.

“Jimmy Superfly Snuka killed his girlfriend and got inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame.”

5. This guy…

“Ted Nugent shit his pants to dodge the draft and has a song called “jailbait” which ends with him pleading with an officer not to arrest him and instead share a 13 year old.

That’s not even his worst offense as also he adopted his 16 year old girlfriend because the government refused to marry them.”

6. The Man in Black.

“Johnny Cash walked out on his wife and kids saying that his career was more important to him than they were, then went on to eventually settle down with June Carter and start a whole new family while still ignoring the kids he already had.”

7. Interesting…

“Boy George

He beat a guy with a metal chain after cuffing him to a radiator. Should make for an interesting sequence in his forthcoming biopic…”

8. Classy!

“Steven Tyler became the guardian for a 16 year old he was dating when he was 25 so he could bring her on tour…knocked her up too.”

9. The King.

“Elvis Presley and Pricilla age 14. Right out in the public, no one batted an eye. Her parents allowed her to go on a trip under The condition that Elvis pay for a first-class round trip and arrange for her to be chaperoned at all times, and that she write home every day.

Elvis agreed to all these demands, and Priscilla flew to Los Angeles. Elvis told her they were going to Las Vegas, and to throw her parents off the scent, he had Priscilla pre-write a postcard for every day they’d be away to be mailed from Los Angeles by a member of his staff.”

10. Hmmmm…weird…

“Gwyneth Paltrow

Shes a con artist and manages a MLM, as well as recommending women treat their illness by putting rocks up their Vagina and steaming their privates causing harm to people.

You can say shes an idiot.

Or just that shes a sociopath that loves making money off hurting other people.

She admitted on Jimmy Kimmel that she has no idea if anything really works.”

11. Dr. Dre.

“Dr Dre beat a reporter, Dee Barnes, savagely for writing a negative story on him. Or one he perceived as negative, I don’t know.

He picked her up by her hair and “began slamming her head and the right side of her body repeatedly against a brick wall near the stairway” as his bodyguard held off the crowd with a gun. After Dr. Dre tried to throw her down the stairs and failed, he began kicking her in the ribs and hands. She escaped and ran into the women’s rest room. Dr. Dre followed her and “grabbed her from behind by the hair again and proceeded to punch her in the back of the head.”

12. Have you ever noticed…?

“Jerry Seinfeld dated a 17 year old girl in highschool, when he was 39 years old.

I know it isn’t illegal. He had money, fame, and was at the height of his show. And he chooses to date a 17 year old who is still in highschool ? It might not be illegal and as bad as murder/rape/kidnapping/etc. , but it’s still pretty scummy.”

13. From the 1970s…

“Roman Polanski’s still getting awards and standing ovations for his films.”

14. Sticking up for “family values.”

“Newt Gingrich.

Republican politician Married his high school geometry teacher when he was 19 and she was 26. Had multiple affairs and while she was in the hospital undergoing treatment for cancer he came into her hospital room and told her he was divorcing her.

Friends of Gingrich report that Newt told them that “she wasn’t pretty enough to be the wife of a president”, which he planned to be. He proceeds to divorce her, and then doesn’t pay child support and first wife has to get help form the church to make ends meet. I say first wife because he gets his divorce and in 6 months marries his second wife.

But while with second wife has an affair with his staffer. During this affair, the massive hypocrite leads the impeachment proceedings of Bill Clinton for lying about an affair. Gets divorced and four months later marries his latest wife.

He also blamed past infidelities on his “passion for this country”. Oh, and he is credited with driving a wedge between the parties in politics and being a leader in “Christian Family Values”. You can currently find him as a popular pundit on news programs.”

15. Okay, here’s a long list.

“Jimmy Page was 26 when he started calling 14 year old Lori Maddox his girlfriend.

Mick Jagger had a few rounds with Maddox around the same time.

Also of the rolling Stones, Bill Wyman started dating 13 year old Mandy Smith when he was 47. He got her mother’s permission.

Jerry Lee Lewis of course married his 13 year old cousin – she still believed in Santa on their honeymoon.

Chuck Berry was arrested for crossing state lines with a 14 year old prostitute. He was also recording women in the washroom of the restaurant he owned.

Marvin Gaye knocked up his wife’s 15 year old niece.

Don Henley (the Eagles) was charged after paramedics found him with two naked girls, aged 15 and 16.”

16. A boxing great.

“Floyd Mayweather beats his wife with hands that are registered as lethal weapons in front of his children. But because he wins nobody cares.

I’ll have to look into some of those stories…

What do you think?

Which celebrities do you think have gotten away with dastardly deeds because they’re famous?

Sound off in the comments!

The post Celebrities Who Got Away With Doing Bad Things Because of Their Fame appeared first on UberFacts.

Lawyers Talk About Worst Way They’ve Seen People Get Screwed Over in Court

I really hope I never get in trouble with the law or have to go to court for any reason whatsoever because the whole justice system pretty much terrifies me and I don’t want to have anything to do with it.

So far, so good on my end…

But the fact is that a lot of people get royally screwed over in court. Sometimes it was their fault, sometimes it wasn’t

Here are some interesting answers from AskReddit.

1. You blew it!

“My client screwed them-self.

I’m doing landlord tenant stuff and my client was facing eviction over non-payment, but the client was withholding rent payments because of habitability issues in the apartment, no heat, high lead levels, vermin. This is gonna be an easy win for me.

Told my client continually to make sure they don’t spend the money, keep it but don’t spend it. Because if you show the judge you still have the money it looks real good for you in terms of making the judge believe that you’re withholding for good reasons.

We get up in front of the judge, landlord doesn’t have an attorney so I’m dancing inside, there’s no way I can lose.

I make my arguments and the landlord makes his.

Judge asks my client if they still have the money.

Client goes “nah I blew that shit at the casino last week”.”

2. That was fast.

“My wife is the lawyer.

Info: When children reach the age of majority if they do not continue studying and start working, it is not necessary to pay alimony.

Info: My wife’s client found a new lover, which unleashed the wrath of the ex-wife, who started asking for more alimony for her children.

Well to win the case, it was necessary to prove that the children were working, but they could not get any proof of it.

There was not much chance of winning, but they still went to court hoping that with the interrogations they could find information that would put them in evidence.

On the day of the trial the children did not go, only the mother and her lawyer were present.

Judge: Madam, tell me why your children could not come.

Mom: they could not get permission at work.

Judge:…

Lawyer:…

Mom: …

Another few seconds of silence.

Judge: well, that was fast.”

3. The truck is yours.

“I had a client who was trying to get away from an abusive ex and filed for a restraining order. He shows up to the final hearing and is making a big fuss about a truck that they bought during their marriage. He said it was just his, and she had no rights to it because their marriage was void.

I asked him on cross examination what he meant by that, and he said that he had already been married in another state when he married my client. He said that my client had no idea, but that it means their marriage is invalid and the truck was all his.

Not only is that legally inaccurate, the transcript of the hearing was promptly turned over to the police, who were actively investigating him for bigamy.

Oh, and the judge gave my client the truck along with a two year no-contact order.”

4. Major facepalm.

“I’m a lawyer, saw someone screw himself.

I work as a public servant in a criminal law judge’s office, and since I have a law degree I don’t normally do administrative work, though I get to be with the judge in some of the hearings.

Last month we had a huge drug trafficking case (I’m talking about 20 or more people involved, months of investigation, undercover agents, videos, audio, the whole ordeal). Hearing lasted three days.

Anyway when it was time for one of the defendants to be on the stand so the prosecutor could read the charges he was accusing him of (He was pleading not guilty, as he very loudly stated from the majority of the hearing, up until my boss -the judge- told him to shut up or he would be admonished, to which he replied “what are you gonna do, arrest me?” which, to be honest, was actually a bit funny).

The prosecutor, as part of the facts of his case, told him that “he was being accussed of selling, traficking and carrying x amount of x drugs, with the base of his operation being his house, where he lived with his partner” (Mind you, said partner wasn’t even in the hearing, she wasn’t arrested or anything as there was nothing tying her to the case) he said “wait up, I was the one selling the drugs, she didn’t do anything”.

His lawyer (a state assigned public lawyer) facepalmed so hard it’s actually recorded in the audio of the hearing.

He still pleaded not guilty.”

5. Happens more than you’d think.

“A witness for the plaintiff in a civil suit, who was a co-worker of the plaintiff testified very strongly against the company and in favor of the plaintiff. I questioned her about bias toward the plaintiff, if they knew eachother well, were friends, etc. She said, no just friendly co-workers, “work friends” at best. I pinned her to it.

When I got a chance to cross-examine the plaintiff, she had no choice but to burn her witnesses credibility, because no only were they very close friends, but they had become sisters in law just a few years before. (no, they did not have the same last name or anything, but I had done my homework).

I still don’t get why people want to fight small bias, by destroying their credibility, but … it happens more than you’d think.”

6. The age of consent.

“More of a case of screwing himself over, but here goes. This was a case another prosecutor in my office had a few years back. 30 year old defendant was charged with sexual assault of a child after he got his girlfriend’s 14 year old sister pregnant. She actually kept the baby so the police just waited and got a paternity test. No surprise, defendant was the father.

Defendant wanted probation; prosector refused to offer it. He decided to plead guilty and have a jury trial on punishment (here in Texas, you can choose to have the jury set punishment). Evidence mostly proceeded as expected. The victim testified to having consensual (aside from not being old enough to consent) sex with the defendant, getting pregnant, etc.. Paternity test introduced.

Defendant took the stand. His version of events was that he snuck into victim’s room at night, covered her mouth, and held her down while he forcibly had sex with her against her will. It seemed like his own lawyer had no idea that’s the story he settled on.

The jury deliberated about fifteen minutes before returning a verdict of 17 years (the maximum possible as charged was 20). When interviewed by the attorneys afterwards, one of them said they decided on 17 years so the defendant would never forget the age of consent in Texas again.”

7. A terrible story.

“A prior boss’s story:

They had a drunk-driver-kills-a-car-worth-of-people case at the time when they were a general practitioner. My boss was representing the family that got hit (one where the two kids and the wife had died, but the father had not) and wanted the college guy’s drunk-driving skin to be mounted on a wall.

This was back before Facebook was commonly used in Court proceedings and before tons of people realized that shit is too great for any attorney worth their weight in salt to pass up.

So, the kid (drunk driving college kid) had managed to get the judge’s sympathy during the first part of the hearing by saying he was sorry, haunted, never going to drink again, this was going to ruin his life, etc. The judge seemed to really be eating it up.

Then comes my boss and immediately burns this kid’s remorse to the ground by showing numerous Facebook statuses and photos of them binge drinking, partying, and even joking about driving drunk from the date of the accident up until a night ago. The kid looked like he was being forced to swallow hot coals and the judge was absolutely livid.

Needless to say, the kid had to do way more than just apologize and be remorseful after that.”

8. Drunk…again.

“My dad’s case. He was the equivalent of a Public Defender decades ago. There was this guy that would get caught for being drunk in public, public lewdness, etc. EVERY weekend. He seemed to draw the same judges and was pretty well known to everyone in the courthouse as an absolute lost cause.

One of the “regular” judges had him appear in his court again. The judge is ready to give him a prison sentence because he was driving a car this time, but the guy starts crying that he finally got a job out of town and was trying to turn his life around. Judge tells him as long as he never makes a mistake “in my town again” he would just drop the charges.

Well sure as hell the guy shows up the following Monday. Same judge. Driving drunk AGAIN. My dad now has his case. The judge tells him he gave him his final chance, to which the guy sobs and replies “I was leaving town, your Honor.

But my friends decided to throw me a going-away party.” The judge was not amused. My dad had to do everything he could to not laugh.”

9. Custody dispute.

“I was litigating a custody dispute on behalf of the mother in an incredibly conservative jurisdiction. One of the most common ways to get custody was to allege sex or porn addiction because the threshold for it was basically non existent.

For this hearing however, we lucked out with the judge, who I knew from other cases. Opposing counsel tried to “gotcha!” Me into settling before the hearing by showing me surprise sexts between mom and her new boyfriend.

This is, of course, not law and order and you can’t introduce surprise evidence. So we go through with the hearing, I object to the sexts, but say I would allow them to be ready into the record, in their entirety.

So the uptight very conservative local attorney gets to spend the next twenty five minutes or so reading sexts in open court occasionally asking if she could gloss over parts but no, I didn’t feel it would be appropriate. I’ll never forget hearing her struggle with the word nipple. It’s not even a dirty word!

But this was like the third hearing we had to amend custody because this guy felt his ex wife having a boyfriend meant she was a sex addict. They alleged the sexts happened while the kid was in Mom’s custody. But they based that on the timestamp of the screenshots. The timestamp on the texts was clearly at a time when the kid was not even around and mom was safe to get freaky over the phone.

The judge had heard enough of his bullshit and awarded attorneys fees and put in the order, consistent with the vexatious litigant statute, that if dad would continue to be liable for her attorneys fees if he kept pushing this shit.

It was the only joy I got from practicing family law.”

10. “The most badass thing I had ever seen.”

“I was a very new lawyer, with no bankruptcy experience. A partner sent me to bankruptcy court to try to make a claim as a creditor related to a $50 million building that was being sold.

Time and lack of knowledge will prevent me from accurately describing everything that went down but I will do my best.

The Court handled my client’s claim very quickly and easily at first. The Court ruled we were not a creditor because our claim was against a tenant, which was correct. (Note, we had purchased the claim from someone merely to try to somehow wedge our way into buying the property – which was very transparent to the Court.)

So I could just set back for the remainder of the hearing and watch the 2 premier bankruptcy attorneys go at it. One represented the debtor and the owner of the building; the other represented a secured creditor with a lien against the building

They absolutely hated each other on a personal level, and were arguing with great venom about the plan to sell the real estate.

There was a small break in the action while the judge took care of another matter.

When we came back, the secured creditor attorney told the Court the following:

His client (the creditor) had purchased controlling interest in the debtor (the owner of the building).

He had been directed to fire the other attorney.

He had been directed to withdraw the motion to sell the real estate.

He then did both there in the Courtroom.

I have practiced for almost 3 decades. It was the most bad ass thing I had ever seen, and was particularly noteworthy because the courtroom was packed with other attorneys watching and those 2 attorneys absolutely hated each other.”

11. A major backfire.

“A wife filed for a restraining order because she wanted the house during divorce. Husband has good job, like 200k per year. Employer finds out about restraining order, husband is fired. He was very specialized employee so only job he can find close to to house, ex-wife, and daughter is 50k.

House gets foreclosed. Child support at less than $500 per month. Wife has to get job as waitress. Four cars get repossessed.”

12. Off to jail you go!

“Had a criminal jury trial for misdemeanor Criminal Mischief over 4 years ago. State filed charges and kept amending the Information to the point where they left the ACTUAL VICTIM out of the trial and proceeded with the two eyewitnesses.

Well, one of the witnesses was my client’s ex and the other witness was the ex’s new GF. They claimed my client vandalized the ACTUAL VICTIM’s car. Client denied everything.

Well, apparently, the State and both Witnesses had no idea that the Ex had a outstanding warrant for not paying child support to MY CLIENT which created a motive for him to lie. Asked him if he was aware that he had a warrant out for his arrest on the stand. He didn’t know. The Judge excused the jurors. The bailiffs arrested the Ex on the stand. State rested.

Judge granted our Motion for Judgment of Acquittal because we had good case law for the victim not being there. Client walked away free and the Ex went to jail.”

13. A story from the jury.

“I sat on the jury of a man who was accused of molesting his 10 year old niece. He elected to testify in his own defense and his defense was: “I did it, but it was her idea.”

It was his third felony strike so he will be spending (with luck) the rest of his life in prison.”

Like I said, I really hope I never have to go to court in my entire life…

How about you?

Have you had any experiences with the justice system?

If so, please share them in the comments.

We want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The post Lawyers Talk About Worst Way They’ve Seen People Get Screwed Over in Court appeared first on UberFacts.

A Dad Wanted to Know If He’s Wrong for Putting His 9-Year-Old Daughter on a Diet

Yes. It’s fine (and great!) to teach children that food is fuel for our bodies and to guide them toward the choices that follow that mantra, but also…they’re kids, and you should also tell them that cake is delicious and it’s okay to enjoy those things in moderation.

And if your child is struggling to make good choices and is chubbier than his or her classmates?

Don’t. Say. Anything. About. Weight.

These are my personal feelings on the matter, but also, after reading through the responses to this Am I The A**hole post, the opinions of many women who wish they’d been raised in this manner.

AITA for putting my 9yo on a diet and ’emotionally damaging’ her? from AmItheAsshole

The post is from a dad whose 9-year-old daughter has “a belly,” so he decided to start cutting back her calories and taking her to the gym 4x a week.

Image Credit: Reddit

He thought she was fine with it (even though he admits she fussed about both changes), but when she broke down at a friends’ birthday party saying she couldn’t have candy or pizza or she’d get fat, her mother found out what had been going on.

Image Credit: Reddit

So, his 9yo basically has an eating disorder but he maintains that he only had her best interests at heart.

Image Credit: Reddit

The replies on Reddit, it should not surprise you to learn, were mostly telling this guy off for damaging his daughter’s self-esteem to the point that it could be decades before she can find her way back to a healthy relationship with diet and exercise.

Image Credit: Reddit

Another girl, another eating disorder, another man who thinks he has the right to make her feel like she doesn’t look “right” and needs to change to please him.

Excuse me while I go rage.

The post A Dad Wanted to Know If He’s Wrong for Putting His 9-Year-Old Daughter on a Diet appeared first on UberFacts.

People Shared Advice on How We Can Help the World’s Suicidal Men

78% of all suicides are committed by men, which means tha the men we encounter on a daily basis – at work, in meetings, our kids’ fathers, our partners, delivering our pizzas – are just not okay.

If you’re worried about someone in your life, or just want to be better equipped to spot and diffuse a potentially devastating situation should it arise, these 15 Redditors have some advice on how you can help.

15. Don’t tell them to ‘man up.’

Treat their mental health seriously.

When they are struggling with a problem the only advice that is given to them to ‘man up’. Which, in my opinion, they have and they just need actual help.

14. We’re all just doing our best.

Stop telling them to man up or grow a pair because men suffer too

13. Be a friend.

Provide more opportunities to form communities and activities that cater to different men’s needs.

A lot of us don’t have friends or intimate platonic relationships, and we’re in desperate need of that.

12. Statistics aren’t everything, but they’re something.

Statistically speaking men work more, work longer hours, work in more dangerous professions and consume more drugs (alcohol and other). In addition men, on average, have fewer close friends and feel lonelier than women. I think the fatigue of such a life can be quite draining.

I don’t think the problem is that men do not talk about their feelings. I think the problem is that they often don’t have someone to talk to. In addition, it can be quite hard to make new friends. Especially when you are past your twenties. You know, people you are potentially interested in are married and have kids. They are preoccupied with their own lives.

I felt very lonely and sad after my last long term relationship ended. It took me over 6 months to find new friends and I’m a hardcore extrovert. Still, I made a bunch of new friends within the past year or so.

I’d like to encourage anyone who feels lonely to put yourself out there. Talk to people. If you like them, ask them if they like to hang out with you. Do you know how I became friends with one of my best friends? I straight up told him that I felt lonely and that I like him and would like to become friends with him. And for those of you who already have plenty of friends and a busy life: Maybe make some room for people in your community who aren’t as blessed as you are.

11. Don’t turn your back on your friends.

I can’t count how many times I’ve tried to approach friends about what I’m going through and gotten cold fucking receptions.

I’ve been ghosted by friends on more than one occasion for doing little more than having feelings. Men are meant to act like nothing ever bothers them at all, and so we end up bottling it up till it comes out in the worst ways.

For me, it’s often alcohol.

10. Toxic masculinity hurts everyone.

Don’t expect men to be “manly”.

We have worries, we have fears just like anyone else. Sometimes we don’t want sex, we just want someone to hold us and tell us everything is going to be be ok. The modern world shouldn’t expect someone to be anything other than a contributing member of society, be it any way. Men like power and feeling looked up to, but like women and children, we need someone to love us and someone we can fall back onto.

When a man, or even a woman is shutting people out and isolating themselves, they need your love the most. I know this will get buried but I hope someone can take something from this.

9. Believe them.

Treat us like humans.

I was sexually assaulted as a child and frequently tried to harm myself but whenever i talked to someone about it they scoffed and said i was telling fibs.

Edit: Thank you for all the kind words. Please if you’re thinking of hurting yourself please seek help don’t go it alone.

8. A little affection goes a long way.

Hugs, compliments and cuddles.

Men does not get enough of these things.

7. People really like hugs.

we like hugs

just hug pls

I want a hug Edit Wow that’s a lot of hugs hugs everyone who saw this

6. You never know when you’ll change someone’s day.

Give us one compliment!! Just one!!

A girl once said I had really pretty eyes. That shit was 7 years ago and I remember it perfectly because its all I’ve gotten in 7 years.

5. Just listen.

An uncle in law shot himself to death this week. The guy was screaming for help and threatening to do it for days. He was 48.

What are the options? If i was dealing with heavy depression and just wanted to talk to someone where do i go? Ive sought independent counselors and they usually turn out to be nutcases themselves. Seems like this just adds to the overall feeling of hopelessness.

4. It’s not weak to need help.

Don’t shame us for asking for help or appearing weak

3. Everyone loves a good compliment.

Compliment them, even if it’s something small.

“Wow that’s a nice shirt, it looks good on you.”

“Your hair looks nice today.”

A girl complimented my nose 4 years ago (weird I know), but I STILL remember that compliment.

2. An important list.

-Stop using expressions such as “man up”, “stop being a pussy” when a man expresses any sad emotions.

– Lead by example. For so long, men have been taught that they always have to be hard and tough to be “real men”. It’s time to break that cycle and have fathers show their sons and daughter that it’s okay to feel all da emotions. That it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be vulnerable and open up about your struggles.

– Accepting that men can also be victims of physical/emotional abuse and rape, and providing as much support for them as we do for women.

– LISTEN TO EACH OTHER, it’s pointless telling men to open up about their feelings if no one is there to take them seriously.

– Body shaming is just as bad when it’s directed at a man. Men receive so little compliments, tell them they’re looking fit!

Edit: thank you so much for the gold! I’m finding the discussion in the replies so interesting and am so glad to be a part of it. You people raised some great points, I’ll reply later but just to clear up a few things…

When I say let men cry and show feelings, I do not mean they need to start crying and mull over every little thing. All I’m saying is that there needs to be a healthy balance between expressing and regulating your emotions. Everyone has different coping mechanisms. Yes, at times it’s necessary to “just suck it up”, to do what you gotta do. However, it’s not healthy to just suppress every negative emotion (Something that’s still often encouraged in our society). Not only does this cause things to build up, eventually destroying your mental health, but also, it inhibits you from learning how to communicate your feelings (good and bad) to people. If something hurts, then it fucking hurts. If it upsets you to the point of tears, that’s okay! Let it all out, there’s no shaming here! Girlfriend broke up with you and you need to just talk it out? Call up your friend! Tell them how this really sucks and how they can support you. Don’t feel like talking to anyone about it? That’s okay too! Let your friends know that you’re going through a hard time and you can fill them in later if you want to, after you’ve had your time alone.

In short, let’s break down those outdated gender norms and start using those healthy coping mechanisms, cheers!

1. It’s okay to cry.

Allow men to express sorrow without shaming them and instead supply support.

The ‘real men don’t cry’ idea kills.

This is such an important topic, and one that’s not going to get better unless we all learn to keep a keener eye, and to care for even the strangers among us.

If you’re feeling suicidal, please reach out to a friend, therapist, or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

The post People Shared Advice on How We Can Help the World’s Suicidal Men appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Stupidest Ways They’ve Injured Themselves

We’ve all injured ourselves in pretty dumb ways at one point or another in our lives. Okay, it’s confession time: when I was 12, I broke my hand…punching my brother in the head. Let’s just say my parents were not thrilled.

I still haven’t lived that one down.

AskReddit users opened up and shared the dumbest ways they’ve ever been injured.

1. The grape incident.

“Threw a grape in the air to catch it in my mouth.

It fell on the floor and I bent down to pick it up and smashed my face into the window sill.”

2. Shower disaster.

“Showering at a hotel in a small stall with a slippery tile floor. Bent over to wash my feet, my butt hit the tap handle. I slipped, put my hands out to save myself and violently slammed the glass shower door open. I bashed my forehead and bridge of nose on the tile floor, had a major nose bleed and a giant goose egg on my forehead.

I don’t have bangs to cover that up. I thought I had escaped without the black eyes I expected after bashing my nose, but 2 days later I woke up with deep purple swollen eyelids. Luckily I had packed my seldom used makeup to cover the worst of it and I wore a hat in the day time. I’m still shocked the shower door didn’t shatter when it hit the wall.”

3. Ouch! That’s not good.

“I was in the 4th or 5th grade but I jumped down an entire flight of stairs.

Landed hard and hurt my foot. Walked on it for a day or two afterwards turned out I shattered my heel and broke my ankle.”

4. That is brutal.

“Tripped over a storage ottoman trying to jump over it all slick.

Got my toes wedged in the latch and broke my foot in 2 places.”

5. Time to tape the toes together.

“I live in Minnesota so I am used to kicking snow off my boots by slamming my toe part of the boot down on the ground.

Well, it was summer and I happened to get my running shoes absolutely covered in mud, so I instinctively slammed my toes down on the pavement and broke my toes.”

6. Right into the shin.

“Stabbed myself in the leg with a piece of metal.

It was really thin and tapered at the tip so when you swung it you would hear this really cool “Whoosh” sound.

I swung down way to hard and it went right into my shin. Bad times.”

7. That is odd.

“I got out of a long, hot shower and noticed a thread dangling off of my shirt, and when I tried to pull it out it just neatly sliced through several millimeters of my finger.

It was so minor I can hardly even call it an injury, but getting cut by a shirt is definitely the stupidest I’ve had.”

8. Funny but painful.

“Was helping husband replace the bathroom fan, so I was standing on the side of the bathtub.

I had this plastic hook glued to the shower wall to hang a loofa on. I went to get down and slid down the wall and hooked my butt cheek to the wall.

It hurt so bad but was also hilarious. I’m in my 40s and this happened recently.”

9. Getting old is no fun.

“I dropped something behind my couch, leaned over the back to pick it up and cracked a rib.

Was in pain for a week. Getting old is hell.”

10. Could’ve been worse.

“To try to get a cheap laugh out of my ex, I threw a hammer as hard as I could at a tree.

The hammer bounced off the tree, and I turned just in time for it to hit me in the small of my back.

Miracle I’m not paralyzed.”

11. An epic tale.

“When I was a kid, maybe 10 or so, I had recently discovered that the feet on my prosthetics could be unscrewed and moved into different positions, so I “borrowed” and Allen key from my dad and took it to school so I could unscrew my feet and show my friends at recess…non of them were as blown away by this as I’d hoped, pretty sure they were just used to this kind of thing by now haha.

Anyway, the bell went to tell us to go back to class and I very quickly tightened the feet back onto the prosthetics, put my shoes back on and started making my way back to class. As I was walking with a group of my classmates I started to notice my legs felt wobbly. I looked down and with every step my feet were turning outwards slightly. A normal person would have come to the conclusion “oh, I didn’t tighten the screws up enough”.

But not me, I jumped to the conclusion of “HOLY SHIT I CAN CONTROL MY FEET LIKE A ROBOT”. My excitement quickly turned to dread when I realised I don’t know how to control feet (been an amputee since I was a baby) and they kept turning until one was pointing sideways. Despite this I kept trying to walk and after a few more steps the foot just fell off and I managed to slam the now footless prosthetic down, which jarred my knee and hips and caused me to slip over and face plant into the corner of a cement mini wall (one of those waist high walls).

Being a self respecting 10yo I started bawling my eyes out, which caught the attention of the new teacher. It’s her first day and the only disabled student is in pieces, (the foot got thrown backwards when it fell off) with a bloodied nose, screaming like a banshee. She didn’t really know what to do since I couldn’t get back up, so she gave me some tissues for my nose and made a very confused call to the maintenance man asking if he knows how to fix prosthetics so I can get to the school nurse.”

12. That is messed up.

“Walked onto a manhole cover that was not placed on correctly.

Ended up in the hospital and had to to have 3 surgeries over 4 months.”

13. Not a good idea.

“My friend saw a jellyfish on the beach then kicked it. Like on purpose and knowing what it was.

They had to go to the ER.”

14. Watch out!

“Riding my bike home in 5th grade slowly alongside my walking friends.

Friend : Drew look where you’re going

Drew : naw dude I’m good at biking I can do it with my eyes closed

Friend : no really dude, look out

Drew : naw man, I’m good

Instantly crashes into a parked car, mess up my bike chain, have to drag my bike home in shame and explain to my mom why my knee and lip are bleeding.”

15. Walking from now on.

“Thought I could walk my dog on a leash while riding my bike. Dog saw a squirrel and yanked me off my bike. I broke a few bones in my hand.

Doc was like “what did you expect would happen?” “

16. Undone by a paper bag.

“Bending over to pick up a paper bag. A completely empty paper grocery store bag. It was standing upright, not even laying on the floor. I barely had to even bend down to pick it up.

Somehow this triggered a cosmic alignment between two vertebrae and nerve cluster because suddenly I fell to the floor in crippling pain, could not get my back straight and had to crawl to the living room so I could lay on the carpeted floor and try to stretch it out. I ended up fucked up like this for days and had to have physical therapy to slowly work out the pinched nerve. I was basically walking like Quasimodo for a couple weeks.

People would assume I was in an accident or lifting some boulder like Hercules or saving a child pinned under a car. But nope. I was undone by an empty paper bag.”

17. This person is definitely accident-prone.

“Wow, so many options.

Most recent. Working under my truck on a slight slope while on a creeper. Grabbed the undercarriage and yanked hard to slide to the back, forgot about slope and used excessive force. I probably would have wound up in the street, had all 250lbs of me not been decelerated by the top of my head hitting the differential. Woke up and it was darker and my neck was sore. I also had a horn like a unicorn (big lump). 2 weeks on concussion watch and wearing a hat to conceal the lump.

Most memorable. 8yo me finds a weird blue light bulb in the creek. Has what looks like mica inclusions in the glass and steel wool instead of a filament. 8yo me goes into the closet with a 9v battery and 2 wires to find out what it looks like lit. I hold it between index and middle finger and apply the wires. Eureka! Like a flash I realize. It’s a flash bulb. I am now blind, in a closet, 2 fingers melted to a hot flash bulb. Keystone Kops antics ensue.

Strangest. Talking to my sister on the landline in the kitchen. I have raccoon hands, always touching things, picking things up, etc while talking. At one point I wind up with a peanut butter cookie and an open flame. Even I don’t know how I got there, lol. Peanut butter cookie winds up on fire. I try to throw it into the sink, miss badly, cookie breaks up and flaming pieces fall on my bare feet. I learn there are a LOT of nerve endings on top of my feet. Screaming somehow communicates problem to sister, who I can hear laughing on the dropped handset.

Bonus. Forgot the cookie lesson regarding nerve endings. Barbecuing in a Weber kettle. In flip flops. I spread out the pile of briquettes once they were ready. Bottom vents were open and hot embers fell on my feet. Poured beer on my feet and increased the vocabulary of nearby children.”

18. Please don’t ever do that again.

“I was separating my eyelashes (because mascara) with a safety pin.

Stabbed myself in the eyeball.”

Wow. Those are pretty…dumb.

How about you? What’s the stupidest way you’ve ever injured yourself?

Don’t be shy! Tell us in the comments!

The post People Share the Stupidest Ways They’ve Injured Themselves appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Stupidest Ways They’ve Injured Themselves

We’ve all injured ourselves in pretty dumb ways at one point or another in our lives. Okay, it’s confession time: when I was 12, I broke my hand…punching my brother in the head. Let’s just say my parents were not thrilled.

I still haven’t lived that one down.

AskReddit users opened up and shared the dumbest ways they’ve ever been injured.

1. The grape incident.

“Threw a grape in the air to catch it in my mouth.

It fell on the floor and I bent down to pick it up and smashed my face into the window sill.”

2. Shower disaster.

“Showering at a hotel in a small stall with a slippery tile floor. Bent over to wash my feet, my butt hit the tap handle. I slipped, put my hands out to save myself and violently slammed the glass shower door open. I bashed my forehead and bridge of nose on the tile floor, had a major nose bleed and a giant goose egg on my forehead.

I don’t have bangs to cover that up. I thought I had escaped without the black eyes I expected after bashing my nose, but 2 days later I woke up with deep purple swollen eyelids. Luckily I had packed my seldom used makeup to cover the worst of it and I wore a hat in the day time. I’m still shocked the shower door didn’t shatter when it hit the wall.”

3. Ouch! That’s not good.

“I was in the 4th or 5th grade but I jumped down an entire flight of stairs.

Landed hard and hurt my foot. Walked on it for a day or two afterwards turned out I shattered my heel and broke my ankle.”

4. That is brutal.

“Tripped over a storage ottoman trying to jump over it all slick.

Got my toes wedged in the latch and broke my foot in 2 places.”

5. Time to tape the toes together.

“I live in Minnesota so I am used to kicking snow off my boots by slamming my toe part of the boot down on the ground.

Well, it was summer and I happened to get my running shoes absolutely covered in mud, so I instinctively slammed my toes down on the pavement and broke my toes.”

6. Right into the shin.

“Stabbed myself in the leg with a piece of metal.

It was really thin and tapered at the tip so when you swung it you would hear this really cool “Whoosh” sound.

I swung down way to hard and it went right into my shin. Bad times.”

7. That is odd.

“I got out of a long, hot shower and noticed a thread dangling off of my shirt, and when I tried to pull it out it just neatly sliced through several millimeters of my finger.

It was so minor I can hardly even call it an injury, but getting cut by a shirt is definitely the stupidest I’ve had.”

8. Funny but painful.

“Was helping husband replace the bathroom fan, so I was standing on the side of the bathtub.

I had this plastic hook glued to the shower wall to hang a loofa on. I went to get down and slid down the wall and hooked my butt cheek to the wall.

It hurt so bad but was also hilarious. I’m in my 40s and this happened recently.”

9. Getting old is no fun.

“I dropped something behind my couch, leaned over the back to pick it up and cracked a rib.

Was in pain for a week. Getting old is hell.”

10. Could’ve been worse.

“To try to get a cheap laugh out of my ex, I threw a hammer as hard as I could at a tree.

The hammer bounced off the tree, and I turned just in time for it to hit me in the small of my back.

Miracle I’m not paralyzed.”

11. An epic tale.

“When I was a kid, maybe 10 or so, I had recently discovered that the feet on my prosthetics could be unscrewed and moved into different positions, so I “borrowed” and Allen key from my dad and took it to school so I could unscrew my feet and show my friends at recess…non of them were as blown away by this as I’d hoped, pretty sure they were just used to this kind of thing by now haha.

Anyway, the bell went to tell us to go back to class and I very quickly tightened the feet back onto the prosthetics, put my shoes back on and started making my way back to class. As I was walking with a group of my classmates I started to notice my legs felt wobbly. I looked down and with every step my feet were turning outwards slightly. A normal person would have come to the conclusion “oh, I didn’t tighten the screws up enough”.

But not me, I jumped to the conclusion of “HOLY SHIT I CAN CONTROL MY FEET LIKE A ROBOT”. My excitement quickly turned to dread when I realised I don’t know how to control feet (been an amputee since I was a baby) and they kept turning until one was pointing sideways. Despite this I kept trying to walk and after a few more steps the foot just fell off and I managed to slam the now footless prosthetic down, which jarred my knee and hips and caused me to slip over and face plant into the corner of a cement mini wall (one of those waist high walls).

Being a self respecting 10yo I started bawling my eyes out, which caught the attention of the new teacher. It’s her first day and the only disabled student is in pieces, (the foot got thrown backwards when it fell off) with a bloodied nose, screaming like a banshee. She didn’t really know what to do since I couldn’t get back up, so she gave me some tissues for my nose and made a very confused call to the maintenance man asking if he knows how to fix prosthetics so I can get to the school nurse.”

12. That is messed up.

“Walked onto a manhole cover that was not placed on correctly.

Ended up in the hospital and had to to have 3 surgeries over 4 months.”

13. Not a good idea.

“My friend saw a jellyfish on the beach then kicked it. Like on purpose and knowing what it was.

They had to go to the ER.”

14. Watch out!

“Riding my bike home in 5th grade slowly alongside my walking friends.

Friend : Drew look where you’re going

Drew : naw dude I’m good at biking I can do it with my eyes closed

Friend : no really dude, look out

Drew : naw man, I’m good

Instantly crashes into a parked car, mess up my bike chain, have to drag my bike home in shame and explain to my mom why my knee and lip are bleeding.”

15. Walking from now on.

“Thought I could walk my dog on a leash while riding my bike. Dog saw a squirrel and yanked me off my bike. I broke a few bones in my hand.

Doc was like “what did you expect would happen?” “

16. Undone by a paper bag.

“Bending over to pick up a paper bag. A completely empty paper grocery store bag. It was standing upright, not even laying on the floor. I barely had to even bend down to pick it up.

Somehow this triggered a cosmic alignment between two vertebrae and nerve cluster because suddenly I fell to the floor in crippling pain, could not get my back straight and had to crawl to the living room so I could lay on the carpeted floor and try to stretch it out. I ended up fucked up like this for days and had to have physical therapy to slowly work out the pinched nerve. I was basically walking like Quasimodo for a couple weeks.

People would assume I was in an accident or lifting some boulder like Hercules or saving a child pinned under a car. But nope. I was undone by an empty paper bag.”

17. This person is definitely accident-prone.

“Wow, so many options.

Most recent. Working under my truck on a slight slope while on a creeper. Grabbed the undercarriage and yanked hard to slide to the back, forgot about slope and used excessive force. I probably would have wound up in the street, had all 250lbs of me not been decelerated by the top of my head hitting the differential. Woke up and it was darker and my neck was sore. I also had a horn like a unicorn (big lump). 2 weeks on concussion watch and wearing a hat to conceal the lump.

Most memorable. 8yo me finds a weird blue light bulb in the creek. Has what looks like mica inclusions in the glass and steel wool instead of a filament. 8yo me goes into the closet with a 9v battery and 2 wires to find out what it looks like lit. I hold it between index and middle finger and apply the wires. Eureka! Like a flash I realize. It’s a flash bulb. I am now blind, in a closet, 2 fingers melted to a hot flash bulb. Keystone Kops antics ensue.

Strangest. Talking to my sister on the landline in the kitchen. I have raccoon hands, always touching things, picking things up, etc while talking. At one point I wind up with a peanut butter cookie and an open flame. Even I don’t know how I got there, lol. Peanut butter cookie winds up on fire. I try to throw it into the sink, miss badly, cookie breaks up and flaming pieces fall on my bare feet. I learn there are a LOT of nerve endings on top of my feet. Screaming somehow communicates problem to sister, who I can hear laughing on the dropped handset.

Bonus. Forgot the cookie lesson regarding nerve endings. Barbecuing in a Weber kettle. In flip flops. I spread out the pile of briquettes once they were ready. Bottom vents were open and hot embers fell on my feet. Poured beer on my feet and increased the vocabulary of nearby children.”

18. Please don’t ever do that again.

“I was separating my eyelashes (because mascara) with a safety pin.

Stabbed myself in the eyeball.”

Wow. Those are pretty…dumb.

How about you? What’s the stupidest way you’ve ever injured yourself?

Don’t be shy! Tell us in the comments!

The post People Share the Stupidest Ways They’ve Injured Themselves appeared first on UberFacts.

Ex-Prisoners Talk About the Most Evil People They Encountered Behind Bars

I think going to prison would be the most terrifying experience imaginable.

Being locked up with murderers, rapists, and all kinds of other violent offenders has to do so much damage to a person’s psyche. Let’s hope that all of us (or at least most of us) never have to go through that.

AskReddit users shared their stories from when they did time.

1. Can’t forget it.

“The words “I shot that bitch in the stomach and I hope they both die” were used in reference to a 15 year old pregnant girl.

I won’t ever be able to forget that one.”

2. A simple farm boy.

“When I was in the outbox the day before I was released I was hanging out with a bunch of guys just killing time.

One of them was part of a killing gang. They kidnapped and killed a bunch of people for body parts. And cut them off while the people were alive. It was a pretty gruesome case.

Anyways, he was really quiet and rather stupid. Just a simple farm boy type.”

3. Seemed nice enough…

“English guy here, I spent 4 and a half months in prison in 2018. There was a guy who was really nice, seemed like a genuine guy.

That was until I found out her strangled his drunk wife to death and left her there whilst he went to work the next morning.”

4. The Aurora movie theater shooter.

“Before I got my prison sentence in 2013 I was in Arapahoe County jail with James Holmes. Was pretty crazy cuz they’d put the whole facility on lockdown to move him, Even though he was in segregation.”

5. Not an inmate.

“There was a correctional officer at least 6’5 and well built and he would always come in pissed off. So one morning we are waiting in line for breakfast and he thought he heard this older man call him a bitch. He followed the man back to his cell and started teeing off on him.

The man didn’t even try fighting back and when he fell the first time he split his head open on the steel bunk. The inmate was so out of it he started asking were his car keys and wallet went while he was on the ground bleeding. The C.O. hears the man and for some reason turns around and goes back and hits him a few more times and says “who’s the bitch now…”.

I’ll never forget thinking ‘damn this is somebodies father’.”

6. OH MY GOD.

“One of the women on my wing cut up her lover and put his body parts in an empty TV box, then put the box on his mother’s door step.”

7. This is brutal.

“I was in and out juvy from 15-18 till I went to county jail, the worst people I came into contact was a boy 15 who shot his step mother, slit her throat, beat her head in with a blunt object, wrapped her in sheets for the fathers roommate to find her then he shot him. Happened in McMinnville Oregon. Other than that a lot of people raping siblings, and making threats to shoot up the high schools in the area. That’s Yamhill County for you.

8. Women’s prison.

“I was locked up with Jodi Arias, so that was bizarre.

There was also a woman who murdered her baby and kept it in the freezer. We called her Maytag.”

9. No remorse.

“This rich kid stabbed his friend in the chest, killing him, but he was on Xanax and weed at the time and doesn’t remember anything of it other than his friend on the floor dying, the mad thing is this guy (18 years old) actually got off with the murder and found not guilty although was sent down for just under 2 years for possession of a knife. His parents were quite wealthy and it was a big case in the UK. Basically his barristers were the best money could buy and he said that’s how he got off.

He didnt have any remorse for his actions. Which was made to think made him a pretty fucked up person. It’s a funny one though because he actually seemed a nice guy until he would talk about the killing and just didnt care what he had done. Nobody else in the prison had ever killed anyone to my knowledge, as it was a lower cat prison – but he was only their for possession of an knife.”

10. All kinds of psychos.

“I was incarcerated with over 280 people doing life without parole. There were all kinds- Stabbed the neighbor lady 150+ times, shot a bully in the head in the school parking lot, beat a dude with a hammer, etc.

There were two that stuck with me though- one where he looked me right in the eye and told me about shooting a guy with a shotgun to the chest (creeped me the f out), weirdo that kidnapped and killed some girl in his basement was another. John Wayne Gacy actually designed the miniature golf course there.”

11. 99 to life.

“Was in prison for 27 months. Unfortunately, your child rapists and kiddie porn guys were mixed in to gen pop, so you would get all kinds like that everywhere. The worst one I heard of was when I was in military prison. Details are foggy because this was 13 years ago, but I remember there being a guy who got 99 years for murder.

He had killed a guy, then killed the guys wife because she was home and would have been a witness, but not before raping her first. The whole facility got locked down every time they moved this guy, because they didnt even want the other inmates to see what he looked like.

The other fucked up one was at the same facility. So in the army there’s a thing called turtlefucking, where you hit someone’s kevlar helmet with your kevlar helmet. It makes a loud THONK sound, but doesnt really hurt. People didnt hit super hard, just hard enough to make the noise happen. This guy turtlefucked a girl when she wasnt wearing a kevlar helmet. She ended up dying while the guy was still awaiting his trial, and he went full on cuckoo bananas.”

12. KKK member.

“I had a cellie in prison who was a KKK “white boy.” He was a mad man. He was always pissed off and would say the craziest stuff like “Did you hear that? The “white” rhino is going extinct. Fucking jews.”

I was watching the movie about black pilots in WWII and he sat down indignant and rolled his eyes and guffawed… “Black Pilots!?! C’mon.” I said “You really think there are no black pilots?” He said “Hell no, have you ever seen a black pilot?” It was like this every day until my move finally got approved.”

13. From an officer’s perspective.

“I wasn’t an inmate, I was an officer so my opinion might be disqualified. But at a facility I worked at we were a level 5 which is maximum security. Lots of people who had life without parole and just a bunch of different things happened. One guy was on a documentary because he traveled across several states and killed around 5 people total. He was pissed cause the documentary blamed him but he always tried to say his father hitting him as a child made him kill these people.

Then there’s the old guy who raped his young grandchildren and was furious that he was sent to prison cause they were HIS grandkids so he could do whatever he wanted. He had also raped his children when they were growing up.

Lots of sick things in a max security prison and those would be nothing when compared to a federal supermax.”

14. Sounds like a nightmare.

“Ahh.. theres different degrees to evil.. one of the smallest black guys in there was SO loud and would not stop talking. He eventually freaked out and cut his body up with a razor blade to get medical attention for a different scene.. another guy was young, got beat by a 70 yr. Old in dominoes. The young guy just straight punched the old man in the forehead, I was reading Marley and me, and it just sounded like someone hit a watermelon super hard. I looked up, old man was knocked out on the floor, when he came to, these other 18 yr old kids were cracking up laughing and the old man was sooo confused and kept asking why are you laughing?

A white guy who was small and young was the jack russell terrier of the pod, and he was the worst. He would just constantly steal and for some reason nobody did anything about it. Guy named nick looked just like mike Tyson and would fight white ppl who would work out bc they were doing it wrong..he would also stare at you while you were taking a shit.

There was one corrections officer who assaulted me in a bathroom during work duty bc I didnt know if a roll of toilet paper should be changed out.. there was like a 1/3 left. It was my first day, he thought I was fucking with him. After he hit me and was done, I said Sooooo, does it need to be changed i still dont know. He figured out I was serious and apologized. One CO always snuck me coffee and let me watch football on tv bc I was nice and worked hard.”

15. In the Bronx.

“Was in Spofford Juvenile detention center when I was 13 (not a good age to be there at 4’9 100 lbs) and I was one of two Caucasian’s in the entire place so I mostly kept to myself. I did befriend a kid named Chris Whitehead who showed up with a freshly healed scar about 15-20 inches long in the shape of a C on the side of his head. He didn’t talk much but he ended up telling me how it happened when I finally got the nerve to ask him.

Told me his older brother jumped him into the Crips and since he cried during he took a hot knife and burned it into his head for the disrespect. Then he had his little brother, the same age as me by the way, shoot the first person to cross the street in their neighborhood, who ended up being a young pregnant girl. How he only ended up at Spofford is beyond me but it was disgusting to see such a nice kid end up there because of his older piece of shit brother.

I remember when he went to court he was sure he’d be transferred so he pissed all over his jump suit and stuffed it in the radiator causing all of us in the semi violent block to be moved upstairs with the actual violent criminals (I think the kid I’m referring to was only on mine because of his age). The staff members there gave everyone there permission to beat the living shit out of him when he came back but he never did because he got transferred thankfully because his brother ended up there too and was fully on board with the beat down his brother was going to receive.

Really glad they shut down that place because they were running drugs and a prostitution ring on the female side and the treatment of the kids there was disgusting to say the least.”

Yikes. Prison is no place for this guy, I can tell you that much.

Have you ever spent any time behind bars or maybe a friend or family member did some time?

If so, tell us what it was like in the comments. We’d love to hear about your experiences!

The post Ex-Prisoners Talk About the Most Evil People They Encountered Behind Bars appeared first on UberFacts.