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People Admit Illogical Things They Believed for Years

People believe illogical and ridiculous things for a number of reasons.

I think a big one is how they were raised and what their parents insisted they believe in, especially when it comes to religion and politics.

Another reason is that propaganda and spread of false news and information is real AND it’s a real threat.

And some of it is just being young and oblivious.

Here are some very interesting stories from folks on AskReddit.

1. We’re here for your liver.

“When I first got my license they asked if I wanted to be an organ donor. I said no.

Years later a friend of mine asked me why I wasn’t a donor and I told them it was because I was afraid they would call me up one day and demand a kidney or part of my liver or something.

After laughing their ass off my friend explained that’s not how it works and now I’m an organ donor. Hopefully no one wants my brain because I’m a moron.”

2. High fashion.

“I thought Aeropostale and American Eagle were the fanciest clothes you could get.

Grew up in Appalachia so for the area I guess they were. Dated a girl in Houston who was extremely into fashion and was pretty mortified that I had no idea what Armani, Gucci and Chanel were.”

3. I did, too. Doh!

“That the world was black and white until color came in to it.

Looking at old photographs confused young me, apparently.”

4. That’s pretty paranoid.

“That EVERYBODY, except me, were aliens trying to manipulate me in some kind of experiment.

So while I was interacting with someone, s/he was wearing a “human costume”, but when I was far away they would return to their alien body.”

5. I’m not eating that.

“When I was really young, one of my friends told me that raisin bread had rabbit poop in it. So I refused to eat raisin bread for years.

At some point the narrative of rabbit poop in bread must have got a little strange because then I convinced myself I just didn’t like it. And went with that for 25 years.

Until I dated someone who loved raisin bread and tried and it was amazing! No more rabbit poop bread.”

6. Hahahaha.

“I believed all dogs are male and all cats are female.

The cartoon CatDog really screwed with my youthful mind.

Both ends are male and I just couldn’t comprehend that.”

7. That’s weird.

“When I was a young teen my dad told me that girls can get pregnant from breathing in the air that boys exhale, because particles.

I didn’t kiss a boy until junior year of high school and to this day (now in my 20s) I still can’t stand people breathing near my face, which precludes certain cuddling positions.”

8. He was from America, dammit!

“I thought Jesus invented the English language.

And then he proceeded to write the King James Version of the Bible.”

9. No ice cream in there.

“My parents convinced me that the ice cream truck rang, when it was all out of ice cream. Found it they lied to me about 2 years ago…..

I’m sixteen.”

10. Time to get the gorillas involved.

“That guerilla warfare meant people had enlisted gorillas to fight with them.

They were always reported in far away places…. Where I presumed gorillas lived.”

11. A big no-no.

“That you can’t have sex before marriage.

I remember going to a show in the theatre and the 2 main characters kissed, and I was like “are they married to each other? Why aren’t they wearing wearing rings?””

12. Step right up!

“My bf believed that the black market was a real physical market where people would trade illegal things as a kid. Like a guy would be hawking guns in a stall next to another guy selling drugs and they’d compete over customers.

“Quality, pure drugs right here! No additives! Just the good stuff!”

“Buy my guns so you don’t have to pay for his drugs! I got the best guns!””

13. They’re not real?

“That movies were real and the name of the character was the name of the actor, admittedly was almost 12 before I first saw an actor in a second movie, and after asking my dad why they were calling him a different name, I realized.

But at least professional wrestling was real, yup also admittedly found out much later than I should have, 19 yrs old. I just really can suspend that disbelief, I guess.”

14. That would be a cool horror movie.

“That people who die turn into mannequins. And that the mannequins move when the store closes.

The mannequins are ghosts of the dead.”

15. The only one…

“Growing up and being an altar boy in the Catholic Church, I thought that Catholicism was the only one true religion.”

16. That SOB…

“I believed in Santa until I was about 7 or 8, which isn’t that unusual except that I’m Jewish and I thought he was an AntiSemite because I never got presents on Christmas.”

Now we want to hear from you.

Did you ever used to have totally illogical beliefs? What changed your mind?

Please tell us your stories in the comments.

The post People Admit Illogical Things They Believed for Years appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Muse on What Animal Would Be the Most Terrifying Were It as Smart as a Human

There are some animals that you wish were smarter so that you could truly be friends – like your dog or cat, for instance, or maybe your bird (though most birds are at least as smart as my toddlers).

Then there are animals you definitely wouldn’t want to see with human smarts, because then there likely wouldn’t be any more humans. I mean, the obvious one is apes, because they’ve made multiple moves about that, but I also think wasps, snakes, or pretty much any predator that’s bigger than us would also have to go on that list.

These 15 Redditors have some out-of-the-box ideas that will get your gears grinding, though, and make you look at a topsy-turvy world in a whole new light.

15. I mean they already scare us and they’re so small and dumb.

Spiders.

All of those legs and eyes! Ugh.

14. I think they essentially made a movie about this, too.

Probably ants.

There’s so many of them working together that they could become our new evil overlords.

13. Maybe we could all just get along?

To be honest I think one of the reasons why we have to consider some animals “pests” and “lesser” beings is because we can’t reason with them. We can’t make them understand consequences and set boundaries, even if the boundaries are arbitrary and in the spirit of “if you do this we will retaliate like that.” We can’t make them understand that even in just their own perspective they will benefit with some level of planning and cooperation.

If another animal group gained this cognitive ability, I don’t think it would be outside our human capability to work better with them than purely against them, and I think any intelligent species that has to live so close beside us would also learn that cooperation is in their better interest as well.

That said, the biggest damage that I think we humans would suffer from should a species suddenly change would be the ones that force us to change the most. So an animal that already lives around people but isn’t treated as family. I think there would be some hellish moral quandaries if rats or mice suddenly became a race we had to care for/about on an individual level.

12. They just need to figure out a couple of things!

Flies.

If they were clever enough to leave through an open window they would be unstoppable!

11. This would pretty much be my worst nightmare.

Yellow jackets.

Cunts with wings AND human intelligence

10. Just thinking about this totally freaks me out.

It’s amazing that nobody has said rats.

Rats are EVERYWHERE there are people. If rats wanted to they could destroy our infrastructure with only their teeth. Mobile, sneaky, small, breed like crazy, and ubiquitous. What are birds or monkeys REALLY going to do to civilization? Monkeys are super rare in the world. Birds aren’t really that strong all they have is mobility, really. We have ways of dealing with birds.

But rats? They’re universal. Once they figure out rat poison they’ll be nearly unstoppable. They’re mobility, unlike birds, gives them coverage. They easily outnumber the feline population and once they learn that all they need to do is swarm the cats then it’s game over.

The only reason they aren’t much worse of a problem is because they don’t have the intelligence to utilize their insane numbers.

9. With very good reason.

Cows.

They would have a personal vendetta against the majority of humans.

8. That’s way too many legs.

Centipedes.

If they assembled they can create hyperpedes.

Who knows what they can do with that pelage.

7. This would definitely be the end of the human race.

This is easy: monkeys/apes.

Opposing thumbs – check.

Superhuman strength – check.

Shit flinging tendencies – that’s a big check.

Monkeys are already awful and bad. Bad monkeys. Smart monkeys would be a nightmare.

6. If only they could learn to breathe outside the water.

Octopuses are already really clever.

And there’s some indications that under proper conditions, they may become more social; i.e., learning from and teaching each other.

But could you imagine if crows had human like cognitive abilities? They can already learn, count, follow patterns, attack, and remember faces.

5. This should definitely have been toward the top of the list.

G E E S E.

Those fuckers are mean enough right now… imagine if they got smart!

4. Ahahahaha… that last part.

Snakes.

Imagine if they had the ability to go on Expedia and book their own airline tickets…

3. They like to curse so it might not be all bad.

Parrots.

There’s the obvious they can hold objects and fly, their speech capability is what would set them ahead.

While other animals like apes and reptiles would spent their intelligence in fighting each other, parrots can quickly talk it out and realise that the real enemy is us…..

Wouldn’t be surprised if the peekaboos and the parrot will quickly turn into “look at me, I’m the captain now.”

2. I do not like that, Sam I Am.

Bugs in general.

They could all team up on us and wipe out half of the human race.

1. Idk I think they would probably just leave us alone.

If cats had the intelligence and ability to text you, they wouldn’t.

I think humans don’t stop to think about how good we’ve got it here at the top, at least in the brains department, often enough!

What would you add to this list and why? Let’s chat about it in the comments!

The post People Muse on What Animal Would Be the Most Terrifying Were It as Smart as a Human appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Who Didn’t Know Their First Love Was Weird Until They Dated Someone Normal

The funny thing about the first person you do anything with is that you just assume that’s the only way to do things. Which is fine, if it’s good, but another story altogether if it turns out to be bad.

Or, as is the case with some of these people, just plain weird.

These 18 people dated that first person for a long time, and they’re here to tell you what came as a shock when they first got into a relationship with someone knew.

18. Too many guys think foreplay all happens in the bed.

Not every guy wants to throw on Motown and slow dance with you. Some of them don’t even care to touch you.

I miss the slow dances.

17. Not all expectations are bad ones.

I see so much horrible things on here, mine is quite tame but here goes.

My first boyfriend would always leave me small presents or notes underneath my pillow if I had to get up earlier than he did. He was quite romantic and told me I love you quite a lot.

When I got a new boyfriend I caught myself looking underneath my pillow for at least a month/2 months in, just out of habit.

16. You can’t make anyone else happy.

My ex put her happiness on me making it my responsibility.

Would demand I stay around and cut my work hours back and then be upset when we wouldn’t have money to go out. Every time I would try and leave I was coerced with sex to stay, because I was young and stupid. After 8 years I had enough I moved 5 states away.

Had a chain of bad relationships that ended, took some time to work on myself and I’m now engaged to an amazing woman I can communicate with share feelings about issues and who values a healthy relationship.

15. The grass is never actually greener unless you water it.

That you should be happy together now, and not constantly waiting for some vaguely defined future where everything’s settled down.

14. I guess it’s how crappy men are.

Psychological abuse.

I have a physical reaction now when my current partners are nice to me when I do something he would have berated me for hours and locked me in my room for. Like, I get a panic attack because my partners are nice to me when I drop a glass, or got laid off, or forgot to unload the dishwasher. And then they don’t bring it up every time they’re irritated with me. My ex was still yelling at me 14 years later for shit I did when we first started dating – shit like I forgot to pick up his laundry from the floor or bought the wrong brand of bacon. At the end there, the lectures lasted hours as he recounted 14 years of offenses.

My current partners? They don’t throw shit in my face that I did the day before. The dissonance is crazy.

I knew the other abuse wasn’t normal, but my step dad is the same way with my mom, so I had no idea, I just thought it’s how men are.

13. Those are both things I’m happy he/she figured out.

Daily binge drinking until I realized a) I’m an alcoholic and b) hetero relationships don’t work when one partner tries to drink the gay away

Only took me 9 years but I got there eventually

12. Not everyone’s love language is physical touch.

That some girls, in a relationship, don’t like to kiss as often as others.

I’m just talking about pecks when I/gf gets home etc.

I always enjoyed a hello kiss but I guess some girls don’t?

11. Was he…drunk?

Not me but the girl I’m currently dating said that her first long-term boyfriend would stare at himself in the bathroom for an hour or so before going to bed each night.

10. I’m emotionally spent just reading this.

being cowed into an “open arrangement” = normal.

Him introducing me to “friends” while hanging out or going to parties and then him telling me later in the evening after the ice had broken that they were actually the girl(s) he was fucking. Capitulating to his insistence that we continue to hang out even though I was uncomfortable with knowing this new information. = Normal.

Him making unwelcome and uncomfortable comments to other women I was friends with in front of me to attempt to orchestrate threesomes that I was not ok with.= Normal

If you love me, you’ll chase after me = Normal

If you love me you’ll leave face time up at all times so I can see whats going on in your dorm = Normal

If you love me you will not show any sad or mad emotion because it ruins my mood = Normal.

9. Well that made me giggle.

I thought most guys liked having their nipples played with because my first ex did. My second boyfriend was so confused when i started licking his tiddy lmao

8. If it’s the right person, the work is always worth it.

People’s love languages are all different. It’s especially jarring when you have a lot of experience doing things a certain way, and then finding out that isn’t what somebody else needs. It can take some work to figure out what’s inherent to yourself and what was learned from your partner.

7. Everyone’s libido is different so she probably wasn’t trolling you.

She made me believe the old TV tropes of women NEVER wanting sex. I had to work my ass off to get her to give me some action.

The next girl I had was just fucking amazed that I didn’t just ask for it when I wanted it. The bewildered look on her face when she finally asked “You realize I’m horny too right?”

6. When they can make you believe anything they want.

My ex basically taught me that it wasn’t okay for me to be upset about things. Every time I would get my feelings hurt (even when I was upset about something completely unrelated to him) it was somehow flipped around so I ended up reassuring and comforting him. That shit really messed me up, and I basically had to relearn how to be vulnerable with my SO. He also had a very solid plan of how he expected me to live my life, basically his main goal for me was to have kids and be a good housewife. Yikes.

On the bright side, nowadays I’m happily engaged and my fiance treats me with so much love and respect. He’s supportive of my dreams and we are able to lean on each other in times of hardship.

5. What a fantastic moment.

I texted my then new girlfriend about where I was and who I was with about every 30 minutes.

After the 3rd time, she told me that she didn’t need to get updates on what I was doing, and to just let her know when I got home safe. I remember feeling almost a physical weight being lifted off my chest because I didn’t have to worry about my girlfriend freaking out if I didn’t update her.

I learned what trust felt like that night.

4. I know this isn’t funny, but maybe it will be someday.

That every time was essentially a quickie.

Almost a whole decade of nothing but 5 thrusts and then blast off.

After that relationship ended I felt like Jasmine on a magic carpet ride….a whole new world.

3. Relationships are hard, but not every day.

This is morbid but I thought it was normal to argue every day. I thought ‘all couples have their bickering’ and it was just a regular thing.

I was astounded when I went into my next relationship and actually got on with the guy and went weeks and weeks without having any issues. It always felt like the bubble was going to burst. Goes to show – don’t stay in a relationship just because you’ve already invested a tonne of time. You get one life, spend it with someone who makes you laugh every day.

2. This sounds like it’s going to work out.

It wasn’t super long term, only about a year but when you’re in high school that’s fairly long term.

My ex was a very clingy dude, sweet but would follow me around every social gathering and get jealous of me spending time with my friends. When I started dating the guy who is now my husband I remember looking around at a party early on of mostly my friends that he hadn’t met before and I couldn’t find him. I asked someone where he was and he was out by the fire with a group of people chatting and hanging out.

I was astonished that we could just go our separate ways in a social setting and that was totally fine, we didn’t have to be attached at the hip the whole time.

1. This is so depressing.

Porn is not a documentary.

Being used as a sex doll, contorted into uncomfortable positions, and pounded until you bleed, can’t stand up, or just break down crying from the pain isn’t normal, nor is anal sex a necessity. We were both virgins and he had major porn brain.

I thought I was bad at sex and would never be able to have a positive experience with intimacy until I finally left him and was with my second boyfriend.

I’m ok now, but wow was that a horrible person to lose my virginity to.

I think stuff like this is just plain fascinating!

Which of these surprised you the most? Could you add something to the list? Tell us what it would be in the comments!

The post People Who Didn’t Know Their First Love Was Weird Until They Dated Someone Normal appeared first on UberFacts.

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Sex Workers Dish on the Awkward Moment a Friend Turned Into a Surprise Customer

Not everybody likes to talk about their job with friends, acquaintances, family, or coworkers, and that goes for people who don’t do what some might consider sensitive work.

There are surely sex workers out there who are comfortable and completely open about the way they earn a living, but there are likely just as many who prefer to keep a low profile unless they’re among people they trust.

Now, that’s all well and good until someone you know in your daytime life shows up at your nighttime gig…as a customer.

Trust me, these 17 stories aren’t about to disappoint.

17. Dr. Pot paging Dr. Kettle.

Somewhat related, me and buddy (Tom) go to this sleazy strip club in different part of town.

As soon as we walk in he sees bartender he went to high school with who say “Tom you PERV! What are you doing here?”

16. That would have made family reunions just a bit awkward.

I was in the process of booking with a sex worker and she sent me a few face pics that she didn’t post in her ad.

That’s when I realized she was actually my cousin.

I politely told her that I couldn’t meet and never said anything to anyone, including her.

15. Why would he come back though?!

I’m a stripper.

My friends dad came in. I hadn’t seen him or my friend since high school. I accidentally asked him for a lap dance before I could tell who it was.

He said no and I realized who it was as I walked away. He came in a few more times and avoided eye contact with me. When I was on stage he would look away.

Another story: my first day as a stripper I saw two guys from my high school. We chatted, then they both paid for lap dances.

14. She was excited to see you I bet!

Other way around. When I turned 22 or 23 for my birthday we went out drinking and ended up at a strip club.

Stripper was making her rounds on stage to everyone sitting at the pit. She jump on me and says my name excitedly. Only then I realized it was an employee of mine.

Made sense why she couldn’t work nights.

13. As long as everyone is cool with it.

Not a sex worker but know a couple current/former who have worked in brothels, and they could see clients when they entered and choose not to come meet them if they recognised them (or if they just didn’t feel like working at that moment). So it didn’t usually happen.

But on the other hand a friend of mine slept with another friend of mine in exactly this way, she didn’t mind him knowing and he didn’t mind paying.

12. A good rule of thumb is probably not to become a stripper in the small town you grew up in (if you want to avoid this).

Attending a bachelor party a long time ago. The stripper came in, said hello, and went to the bathroom to fix herself up. She peeked out the door and called one of them over. Turns out, she went to high school with us, a couple of years younger. She called a friend to replace her and she left.

11. The last line of this story is pure gold.

When I was a cam girl I would have many guys message me saying they were my cousin or something, they were not, just trying to play out a fetish and I wasn’t into it. So then one day a guy, in the main chat, said that he knew me and his name was AJ (fake name). I was like, yeah right, “I’ve only ever known one AJ, if it’s true what’s my name?” And sure enough he put my real first name right there in the chat.

We were in youth group in church together almost a decade before that. He became a regular.

10. I guess there’s more than one reason not to get a back tattoo.

I had a brief stint as a bachelorette party stripper a couple of years back, on another state.

I worked through an agent who does my client filtering. I was hired by a lady named “Tori”. “Wow, what a coincidence!”, I said. My childhood friend, with the same name was also getting married. I parked my car, boarded the venue and wore my costume (which involves a full face mask). Long story short, same person. And the room was full of familiar faces! I managed to finish my routine with my mask on, got out of the venue as soon as I can, thinking I dodged a bullet…

Then I remembered my back tattoo… Woke up with 50+ messages the next morning.

9. When she’s really good at her job…

Not a sex worker, but found out a girl from high school, that i had a crush on, was a stripper. It was my buddies bachelor party. We load up in a van and head about an hour away to a “better” strip club. We get in and settle at a table.

About 30 minutes in I get a tap on the shoulder and this sexy ass chick hops in my lap. She calls me by the nickname I had in high school and hugs me. She was always Tom boyish in high school, never wore make up, always competed well in gym, kinda nerdy, quiet, and reserved, but always very pretty if you thought about it. I didn’t recognize her for a full minute. It was a fun reunion. It was a full nude spot and she gave no fucks during her stage performance.

Really seeing everything I really should have tried to pursue it in HS. But i was a dumb ass back then.

8. This is kind of blowing my mind.

My mom was a stripper when I was in elementary school.

A 22 yo guy came in and paid for a lap dance and my mom recognized his last name and asked if he knew Ruth (I have no earthly idea why she would ask him given what she suspected). He got weirded out and said that Ruth was his mom and MY mom said that HIS mom was her daughters 3rd grade teacher. He then begged her not to tell his mom where he was. Apparently my mom just laughed and said she didn’t want her daughters teacher knowing that she was there either.

I hated that teacher, she was such a jerk to me because we were poor and my mom always dressed slutty. I’m glad her kids weren’t as uptight as she was.

7. Well that’s really f*cking creepy.

Kinda, sorta along the same lines…I guess.

Once a friend wanted me to go to a strip club with him located outside a small town in Alabama. A young (REALLY young) looking girl got on the stage and he told me “Look at her. Isn’t she the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?”

I said, “Yeah, but she seems like she’s too young to be working here.”

“Don’t worry…she’s 18.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“She’s my niece.”

6. I’m sure that was quite a surprise!

My much-younger brother was getting married, had a bachelor party at a strip club with a dozen of so high school friends.

After about an hour there, a rather ordinary looking stripper comes on stage, takes off her top and our tables of guys goes wild, standing and applauding and hollering. I have no idea what is going on. The stripper looks through the stage lights, her eyes get really big, she grabs her top and runs offstage to the back. Bouncers come running over to our table, thinking we’re starting trouble.

Nope, it turns out all of the guys in his high school class had a history class with her a few years back…. she later came out and talked with us, said she never thought she’d see someone (let alone 12) she knew (it was in the next town over).

5. I think why is definitely the question we all need answered.

Cousin 1 (f) is a stripper, cousin 2 (m) lives in another state and hasn’t seen myself or cousin 1 since we were kids.

Cousin 2 comes to visit. Cousin 1 invites cousin 2 to her place of work one night. He knows it’s a strip club, but expects cousin 1 to just be bartending or waitressing or something.

Anyway, cousin 2 rocks up to the club and cousin 1 has her tits out. Cousin 2 said he turned around and walked right out of there.

Wtf cousin 1… why?

4. You have to expect this will happen sooner or later…

I was a stripper back in the day.

Halfway through a stage show realised that my flatmates brother and his friends were there.

That’s how i was outed, lol.

Nothing much changed.

3. College often seems like it took place in an alternate universe.

Was an RA in college and had a pair of residents on my wing who were both cam girls. Found out from rumors that were eventually confirmed when I had to help both of them get back up to their room after calling the paramedics because they were passed out drunk outside our residence hall.

Came into their room and saw the camera set up, dildos, and lingerie sets/pieces – just laying out in the open. I also found out that night that they had a pet kitten in the room, another rumor I heard about them that ended up being true (but also heard they abused it pretty bad, poor thing). Anyways, as we made it up to their wing, one of the girls came to just as we entered their room and tried to play with the pet kitten. She rolled off the bed from her side, stumbled across the room in just a few steps, and ended up falling face first into the makeshift litter box they had set up for their cat…

Cat shit and cat litter flung everywhere. Our campus PD was so confused when they showed up to find sex toys and cat litter everywhere. Their dorm room nearly looked like a crime scene.

What a time college was… What a time.

2. This sounds like the setup for a romcom.

I was not a sex worker at all but I was a fine art model for a college for a while. There were so many people that I went to high school with that entered those classes over the 2 years I worked there. Usually they wouldn’t say anything and I wouldn’t say anything and i would just get naked and pose for 3 hours lol.

Sometimes we would chat after, but sometimes we would ignore each other and pretend it didn’t happen

1. Well, that was a wild ride.

I had a friend who is a lifestyle Domme. For those unfamiliar with BDSM lingo, a Female Dominant; not professionally, just personally for fun.

She is into a lot of freaky stuff, but working in the public, she is very secretive about her identity. No pictures of herself online, and very very cautious before meeting anyone. well, she has had guys message her asking her for some pretty nasty stuff, like bottling her piss and selling it to them, or even making a shit sandwich on one occasion. Yes, an actual shit sandwich. Well, the fucked up part is, she messages with these guys, and they, without her asking, reveal all sorts of personal details about themselves, like where they live or work, and they would send her photos of themselves.. On more than one occasion she has run into one of them at work, and they had no idea it was her.

She recognized them and think to herself: “This guy that begged me to make him lick his own cum off my feet….and he has no idea who the fuck I am.”

It would just make her feel even more powerful. Although she remained perfectly professional in their interactions…..but may have acted a little bitchier than she normally would because she knew they liked it.

I mean, this is crazy. It annoyed me when people I knew came and sat in my section at a restaurant, so hats off to these folks.

If you’ve got a similar story to tell, we’re all ears in the comments!

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People Talk About the Thing That Seems Totally Normal in Their Country, but Weird Everywhere Else

Every place in the world has its own quirks. It makes it feel like home to the people who live there, even if they never really take the time to think about the things that makes their country unique.

For this Askreddit, though, people were digging deep to think up the things they take for granted that would totally cause anyone else in the world to stop and go hmmmmm?

15. I was not a fan of the food in Ireland.

Blood pudding and fermented fish

14. Do you want to have some Golden Gay Time?

It is an ice cream in Australia, called Golden Gay Time as in Golden Happy Time. It is pretty delish.

13. Any way food gets into my face is okay by me.

Eating with our hands.

In 1969 (the same year the man landed on the moon), Miss Gloria Diaz coveted the Philippines’ first Miss Universe Crown. During the preliminary Q&A, she was asked “Is it true that you Filipinos use your hand when you eat?” To which she replied “Why? Do you use your feet?” and went her way to winning the crown.

12. They mean traffic lights, but I get the distrust.

I moved to Namibia from Canada years ago and people kept saying “just head to the top of the hill and turn left at the robots”. It took me about three months to stop looking for weird robot signs or statues, cause that’s what I figured they were getting at.

11. Why are those cracks there, anyway?

The cracks that are just wide enough to be able to see in and out of public restroom stalls. (United States) I’ve heard it’s thought of as weird since many other countries enjoy the luxury of privacy.

10. It’s a thing in the Philippines.

Having Spaghetti in McDonalds.

9. Americans are real prudes, you guys.

Going into the sauna naked while sharing the sauna with the other sex(es).

It’s about Germany but we always welcome the Finnish, origin of a welcome invention. As this got somewhat hijacked about Finnish sauna culture, German sauna culture is very easy:

In public saunas usually everyone is naked. If you feel uncomfortable, you can wrap a towel around your waist and/or chest. Between sittings you’d usually wear a robe.

Most public saunas have half a day or more during the week reserved to female only. Check their website for details on that, if you are interested.

Be prepared that it will get crowded in the sauna when “Aufguss” are scheduled. Aufguss is the process of throwing scented water on the heater to increase humidity.

I don’t know a public sauna where swimsuits are allowed. If there are pools, you’d swim naked but you can wear swimsuits there if you want to.

As long as you are in the sauna, you don’t want to get too romantic with your spouse or whoever you are with.

There is a difference between nudity and promiscuity. There are special clubs reserved for that. (I was asked to tell that these are so called sauna clubs. Hence I called them clubs. Basically those are brothels.)

In hotels you will often find a small sauna. Unwritten law is, the first to enter the sauna decides if it’s fine to be naked. But in hotel saunas it’s way more common to wear a towel than in public saunas.

Private saunas of course are up to the owners and/or users. Do what you are comfortable with – naked or towel.

8. I sure wish that it wasn’t, though.

Men holding hands in public as a display of friendship is normal in Afghanistan but super weird in the west.

7. You leave your baby outside to nap.

My daughter was born in Copenhagen Denmark (Frederiksberg actually). We lived there for a few years after she was born. We learned from our Danish friends to let her sleep outside in the back garden of our flat in her pram during snowfalls. We kept an eye on her from the window. It was very soothing to her, and she would sleep very soundly. Sometimes when we would go out to check on her we would find her awake but quiet, just watching the snow falling around her. Some of my fondest memories of her time as a baby.

It’s such a pure experience of love that it makes my heart ache to recall it. That was almost 18 years ago but I still have crystal clear memories of her lying in the pram with snowflakes falling all around her little face. She would turn her head and smile at me for a moment and go back to looking up at the snow. I will never forget it.

6. I’m sorry, where do these birds live again?

Putting cable ties, branches, fake eyes etc on helmets, buckets and hats in spring time to scare away the birds. Magpies are vicious bastards

5. I hear this often works out better than choosing for yourself.

Marrying someone without knowing them and only seeing their face once the marriage is agreed on.

4. South/Central America FTW (though I’ve seen this in New Orleans, too).

Putting broken glass bottles on the walls around your house so burglars cant jump it and rob you. I moved to Canada and they don’t even have walls around the houses!

3. I bet American professors would actually love this.

In university we thump the tables to “applaud” our professors. Instead of actually applauding. Or doing nothing.

During my exchange semester everyone not from Germany was looking at me confused why I did this.

2. Hahaha that British sense of humor again.

Whole restaurants cheering when a plate or glass is smashed (UK). Once was in a Canadian bar/restaurant on holiday and a waiter dropped a tray of glasses, the local looked horrified when i was out of my seat screaming “wheyyyyyy”

1. I mean, again. Americans are real prudes.

Cunt is a term of endearment.

I love reading about little things like this – it really reminds you how much diversity of experience is out there.

Please, add something from your country to the list!

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Customs That Are Normal in One Country, but Strange Anywhere Else

Like every person has their little quirks, so do the countries all over the world have small but interesting differences that let you know where you are without having to check a map.

It’s fun to hear what people foreign to you consider normal, especially when it’s definitely something that would be considered strange in your neck of the woods – and these 16 people are ready to dish!

16. A glorious mess is one of the best ways to describe England.

Everyone rags on the US for using imperial, but can we talk for a second about how weird we are here in the UK for using both inconsistently?

You buy a pint of milk or beer, but a litre of coke and 25ml of whiskey

People know how many miles to the gallon their cars get, but you buy fuel at pence per litre.

You watch the weather forecast and the temperature is in Celsius but the wind speed is in miles per hour

Most people can tell you their weight in kilograms, and their height in feet, and if they can’t give you kilograms they can probably give you stone instead, which is even older than pounds, which nobody uses as a unit of measurement, probably because of the confusion between lbs and £…

It’s a glorious mess.

15. Any shelf-stable milk, if you’re from the States.

Bagged Milk.

I know it’s normal in some places but not here in the UK

14. Bidets should definitely catch on, y’all.

Washing your butthole after taking a crap

13. You don’t want to be the one to get up first.

Strangers sitting totally naked skin to skin in a steamy room heated to +80 to +100C… and us having competitions on who can last the longest in there.

12. I would 100% be down to try this.

Putting chips in our burgers

11. Honestly it might be less exhausting.

We have matrimonial ads in newspapers and sites to find grooms and brides which I think don’t happen in western countries and they find it strange.

The ads are mostly published by parents.

It’s like tinder supervised by parents.

10. Aussies have the right idea about a lot of stuff.

Drinking beer before 12 o‘clock and seeing it as part of the culture

9. She’s from Slovakia.

In my friend’s country, Easter is when gangs of boys roam the countryside, pouring water over girls and beating them (gently) with sticks.

The girls then have to thank them for it.

I thought that was pretty weird.

8. Life in South Africa seems so foreign.

Being middle-class with a property having a 6′ wall, electric fencing linked to an alarm, automated gate and garage doors (with security clamps over the gate motor to prevent theft of the motor), security gates over every door, burglar bars, and a house alarm system with infra-red sensors linked to armed response with a reaction time of under 3-4 minutes.

7. Idk guys I kind of miss living with my parents. They’re cool.

In the Philippines, it would be people living with their parents. Everybody I know whose parents’ homes are in the city choose to live there. With the relatively low wage to cost-of-living ratio, it is not unusual for married couples to share houses with their in-laws.

I work remote and I still live with my parents and pay zero rent. Of course, I pay all the bills, feed them and do all the home repairs and chores.

6. Amsterdam is home to more bikes than people. Fact.

In my country you bike everywhere. Cars aren’t used much. For longer distances you mostly use train and public transport. Also being 6 foot is normal

5. It’s always easy to misstep when it comes to race.

Calling mixed race people coloureds.

Im from south africa and im coloured but when i went on holiday in Spain, coloured is a derogatory term but in south africa its completely normal.

4. Proof that Dutch parents are magic.

Sprinkles on buttered bread is made by fairies and is perfect for kids parties.

And anything negative said about said treat is sacrilegious.

3. This is definitely something the world should catch onto, because it’s delicious.

Eating biscuits and gravy.

I traveled to the UK and told them that biscuits and gravy is a very common breakfast food and as you would expect they were highly confused (biscuit=cookie across the pond) why we would take something sweet and cover it in gravy.

And also was confused that the gravy we use has sausage in it and is white.

2. Poutine is literally the best of the best Canada has to offer.

Cheese curds and gravy over fries.

1. Kids might not be so into it if it was legal younger.

Legal drinking age of beer and wine is 16

I really love learning specifics like this about other cultures, don’t you?

If you’ve got something similar to share in the comments, please do!

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How People Got Into Really Obscure Lines Of Work

One of the hardest questions for certain people to answer is “what do you want to do?” There are people who know what that answer is from the time they finish potty training, but for others…there doesn’t seem to be anything typical out there that seems like a good fit.

Which I guess is how people like these 16 get into super obscure lines of work – there’s something out there for everyone, if you look long enough.

16. Geologists do such a wide range of things.

Concrete petrographer. I just started this month.

I studied geology in college and now my job is to look at concrete using petrographic methods I learned at school and conduct ASTM tests to determine quality of concrete.

Very interesting work because concrete is engineered rock and there’s A LOT more to it than you think

15. That’s cooler than anything I’ve done with my film degree.

I work in QC (Quality Control) for media.

In one company they occasionally paid me to watch porn to make sure it was in sync and in good quality for video on demand distribution.

In another company I spent years watching movies before release in secure theater-like rooms, to make sure the files are ready for distribution (subtitles and audio in sync, no picture corruptions, stuff like that). I always got to watch the biggest movies of the year in a giant screen weeks before they were released (sometimes months!).

I got the job by going to film school.

14. Is your name Jeeves?

I’m a House Manager for a family of four, basically I’m a female butler.

I’ve worked for them for 14 years starting as the kids Nanny, they’re my second family pretty much!

I organise trades people, holidays, birthdays, daily meals, dinner parties, housekeeping, the list goes on..

It’s challenging at times but keeps me on my toes and I enjoy that.

13. I guess you really can find anything in the paper.

I was a puppeteer for many years and I actually got that job from an ad in the classifieds.

It cracks me up that there is a scene in Being John Malkovich where he tries to find “puppeteer” in the classifieds and fails.

12. That guy is definitely the life of the party.

My dad told me of this one time he went to my mom’s work Christmas party, (she was a banker). As the bankers talked shop and tried to sound impressive, the spouses grew bored and talked among themselves. The guy who drew the biggest crowd was this man who worked at a toilet factory and he did quality control. His job was to flush toilet paper and simulated poop down the toilet. The people at the party, (especially the men) were riveted by his descriptions and peppered him with questions while all these upper management bankers looked on with irritation.

11. I think “play” is a weird term, but okay.

I work in a clinical lab where I get to play with baby sweat for a bit of my day.

We are testing for chloride level. Increased chloride in sweat is one of the diagnostic markers for cystic fibrosis.

I am a clinical laboratory scientist. Not all clinical labs perform this test but I am lucky enough to work at a lab where we do a couple interesting low volume tests.

10. Someone definitely has to do it.

So not job, but company/industry. (I was their first marketing person)

I worked at a company that specialized in Phased Array Ultrasonic non-destructive testing.

The technicians made a shit ton of money and got to work in crazy places like Nuclear power plants in Canada and offshore oil rigs in Norway.

They even worked on some of the NASA launching pads.

9. From one bug lover to another…

I work in a lab where I raise moths! I got it by telling my lab partner that I love bugs and he hooked me up

8. This would be such a fascinating job.

Official court stenographer. I type everything everyone says in court. I was told about it in high school and thought it sounded cool so I went for it.

Took 5 1/2 years in college, but I’m nationally certified to type 260 WPM and regularly push above 300 WPM in court.

7. This definitely qualifies as obscure.

You know when you’re watching a sports program and you see the little pop-graphic in the corner (ie. a baseball players stats, or an advertisement for easy-mac, or “stay tuned for Saved By the Bell @ 9!”)? Yeah. That was me.

I updated those graphics and uploaded them to Fox Sports. Since Fox Sports is a 24-hour channel, there’s always one guy in the office 24-hours a day.

6. Wait, people can’t clean their own grills?

I cleaned grills for super rich people in Palm Beach. Even got to clean Michael Jordan’s at one point. And it was recommended to me from a friend who was in sobriety with me after I got clean.

5. Who knew it would be so complex?

I spent a year on a team reclassifying the Duke University Library system from Dewey Decimal to Library of Congress. Had to learn like four different alphabets just to label them properly.

Duke University has one of the largest research libraries in the world with millions of books. In addition to the main library, we went through engineering, biology, art and divinity. There was also another main library on East Campus. The whole operation took about 2 years I think. I was there from December 2006 to February 2008 when the project ended.

The Dewey Decimal system works perfectly well for small American libraries that cater to an English speaking, Judeo Christian populace. The Library of Congress system is more egalitarian and perhaps more importantly, has unassigned sections for disciplines that have not yet been discovered. Large university libraries and other world class collections are better served by the LoC system.

I don’t quite remember the number of people on our team, but it was about 15 of us doing the physical labor. We were a company that did contract work for libraries. We mostly labeled books, scanned barcodes and reshelved.

The reason I learned those alphabets was because we had to meet production and the barcode sheets only used the Latin alphabet. Most of the time the barcodes on the book and the labels matched, but sometimes they didn’t or were missing altogether and then you’d have to waste precious time figuring out what was going on. I’d scope ahead when we were about to hit a section in another writing system to make sure I was prepared.

4. Of course she applied off Craigslist. Where else?

(Past job) I worked at a whorehouse.

I was the ‘receptionist’, guys would come and id buzz them in after confirmation of their ‘appointment’ from the intercom. They would enter, check id, get then a water or pop, take payment. Then id call the girl from the intercom and they would led him to the room.

It is technically an adult massage parlour. I applied off craigslist. Went for the interview.

Only real rule was receptionist cannot become escorts and escorts cannot after chose to be reception.

3. This is a very cool, spy novel kind of job.

I’m a Hostage Survival Trainer.

I was working in international development within IT, and was asked to go and sort out the finance system in Iraq back in 2007. The ministry I was working in got attacked by a militia and myself along with my 4 guards got captured.

Over time the guards were killed and I got released in an exchange deal after being held for over 2.5 years. I did an AMA about it some years ago.

2. A sad but important job, I think.

I’m one of two employees at a pet crematory.

1. This sounds like part of a romance novel.

I used to work on a lavender farm!

It’s totally unrelated to my field of study and incredibly difficult in terms of manual labor, but man was it a beautiful place. I tended to the plants, took care of goats, and did processing for the herbs and honey.

My grandparents are farmers and so I grew up with mediocre knowledge of field work and beekeeping and when a friend’s mom decided to start a business centered around lavender she asked me to help out for the summer.

I’m fascinated by this (but I also wish someone had told me “writer” was a real job when I was much younger!).

If you do an odd or obscure job, tell us what it is and how you got into it in the comments!

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Doctors Recall the Biggest Fakers They’ve Ever Met

Oh, boy…

When you think of someone going into a doctor’s office and faking symptoms, or heading to the hospital with completely fabricated problems, it can be easy to judge. Do they want attention? Pain meds? Are they mentally ill?

Well, after reading all 16 of these stories, you’re still going to be judging…but if you’re like me, you’re also going to be fascinated by human psychology all over again.

16. I hope he told the truth in court.

Years ago I had a patient who had been rear-ended in an auto accident a few weeks before I saw her. She had a history of lupus.

She was decked out in the usual “I’m crippled” paraphernalia (crutches, neck brace, elbow braces, wrist braces, knee braces) and could barely walk.

I saw her a couple of times and she showed no improvement. One Saturday I was on call but had to take a ‘back streets’ route to the hospital because of an ‘event’ taking place on the main thoroughfare. I apparently drove through her neighborhood, because, wonders behold, there she was wearing old-lady spandex power walking down the sidewalk (holding weights in both hands). I did not call out to her.

Next week, she was back in clinic, with her “I’m crippled” getup on again. Hmmm. A few weeks later I got the subpoena for the deposition, and it all became clear.

15. Are they maybe just afraid they’re actually going blind?

Opthalmology technician.

People pretend to be blind all the time. Go to check their eye pressure with the tonopen (a device you poke them DIRECTLY into the eye with) and they go WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!?!?!?!?!

14. YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE.

I’m a surgery resident.

When I was on my trauma rotation we had a patient come int after an MVC, with question that maybe the patient had seized and that had caused the accident.

So he’s in the trauma bay, and starts shaking. The trauma nurse goes “oh this isn’t a real seizure”.

And the patient stops shaking, sits up, turns to the nurse, and yells “you don’t know a fucking thing about me!”.

13. Guess he didn’t think too hard about that one.

Obligatory not a doctor …I’m a nurse.

We had a guy who had to come in every 3 months to get a medical certificate to say he couldn’t work at his retail job due to severe disabling back pain. He was receiving large amounts of insurance money for this condition. After the Dr had done his usual examination and questions and signed it off the guy asks the doctor to check his shoulder which doc does and asks how he injured it? Guy says playing rugby for a competitive team. Really says doc? How long have you been playing for them ?

Guy has been playing and training the whole time. Doc puts this info on insurance form . Doc loses his shit in staff room laughing.

Next week the patient loses his shit in reception because his insurance has been cancelled.

12. Some people are children forever.

Not a doctor but I was in the ER one night and there was a seeking drug addict who literally only acted in pain when there was staff around.

You ever see those videos where the little kid is fine and then they spot a parent and then bawl then immediately stop and be fine when the parent is out of view? Exactly like that. Sat fine, no movements or wincing or noises then wailing when a nurse was in the same vicinity, then back to fine when they left.

11. This is…really something.

Guy came to ER (I was a nurse at the time) for stomach ache when asking him about history he randomly mentions a fight with his girlfriend where she left in a tizzy and he fell asleep on the couch.

20 min later when we see the CT, he has a satellite cable remote wrapped in a condom lodged in his rectum. I suppose he intended to frame “her”. Didn’t get to hear the conversation he had with the doctor.

I was curious how he was going to explain why she was nice enough to wrap it in the condom.

10. My grandfather faked hearing loss whenever my grandmother was asking him to do something.

Audiologist (hearing specialist), have worked in private sector with legal claims, and with the V.A. handling veterans’ claims of hearing loss.

With those two populations, having people faking hearing loss is pretty common.

Now, as a professional, for me the hearing test starts when I call the person’s name from the waiting room. In a normal voice I call them, if they answer I already know that they’re normal/no worse than mild loss. This was the case with this guy. He answered and came in, we had a normal conversation. So, case history over, time to test, I give the instructions over the headphones at a reasonable 50 decibels (dB). “Raise you hand when you hear the tone.”

50dB tone, should be easy and clear, but he doesn’t raise his hand. I go up. And up, and up. Finally, I’m putting a 100dB tone in his ear, he’s flinching from pain it’s so loud, but he doesn’t raise his hand to indicate he’s heard the tone, even with re-instruction. I immediately know what I’m dealing with. I have taught entire classes on how to spot and try to get estimated true results from people trying to fake it. Long story short, I wrote a damning report outlining all his inconsistencies and faking behaviors. The thing that made this one so memorable, is that we had such a pleasant conversation before. He was a fire chief, I have firefighters in my family, it was one of those where you think “if it wasn’t for professional/patient appropriate distance, we could hang and be friends.” But then, this guy was determined to get a disability rating, and it just pissed me off.

I have other stories in case anyone is interested, but it’s likely this comment gets buried.

9. Yeah he draws the line at not being able to eat.

I am a nurse but not a doctor.

I had a patient who worked in a hospital (janitor) so he knew enough to fake a bit. He was seeking pain meds, complaining of chest pain, wanting morphine. He was worked up for everything cardiac and was fine. Then he tried to claim GI discomfort when he was being discharged.

Cleared again for everything. Faked chest pain again. Cleared again. Now he’s my patient. I’m a new face. He’s telling me he’s having abdominal pain. I call the doctor, knowing this guys history. He says he’ll be up to see him soon. This patient wants a ginger ale (some stomach ache). I decide to go to lunch. My coworker comes into the lunch room, disgusted. This guy had taken a dump in a basin and then dumped the ginger ale over it and tried to tell her he’d had fecal vomiting. He obviously needed dilaudid right now for the pain. I walked into his room and sure enough, a pile of shit in a puddle of ginger ale. I told him I’d have to take away his food and drinks and we’d have to put an NG down.

Suddenly he changed his tune. He admitted to faking it.

Why do these people do what they do??? (In the story, opioids).

8. Hahahaha she just couldn’t resist a peek.

4th year medical student

On my ER rotation and a trauma came in from a women that the had been arrested. During the drive the patient “banged” her head 4 times against the window of the police car and then went unresponsive.

She came to us with a bruise over her forehead and unresponsive. We all smelled bs but the patient was a great actor, didn’t even flinch during the digital rectal exam (which is standard for all patients that come in through the trauma bay). Though some of the nurses said that they caught her “peeking” at us when would leave the room.

We ended up getting a CT scan (which was normal) and was even considering intubating her to secure her airway when our attending finally walked over to her, opened her eye lids and held them open while telling her to wake up. Finally she started fighting to close her eyes and the jig was up. The doctor called her out and she proceeded to start screaming at us. She was much more pleasant when she was pretending to have a brain injury.

7. You never want to invite kidney stones from the universe. Fact.

ER nurse.

Bringing a patient back to a room who said he had kidney stones. I had him stop at the bathroom and get a urine sample. Dude comes out with with the specimen cup that literally has a piece of concrete in it. Looked him in the eye expecting some sort of joke.

He. Was. Serious.

I threw it away and walked his dumbass back to the waiting room to contemplate his stupidity.

6. They’ve gotta put something down in the chart.

Not a doctor but nurse. I once read a specialist’s consultation report and at the end of the report the actual diagnosis given was “fictitious ailment.”

5. This is a very powerful story about addiction. Because kidney stones are awful.

My next door neighbor would drink a 12 pack of Mountain Dew a day and keep kidney stones year round to get pills. He had a pretty sweet deal too, getting 90 loracets, 90 Xanax and 90 something else (i forget) every month from his doctor. He just couldn’t stop doing other drugs and pissing dirty.

I tell this story just because I was impressed with his determination to hurt himself and get surgery once a year just to get high. Like, the absolute determination that takes. My mother is a recovering addict and had been getting the same pills around that time and I don’t recall her intentionally hurting herself. She just went with already messed up issues before she got herself into a clinic to get clean.

4. Wait people do this?

I had a patient when I worked in a ICU that was sedated and on a vent.

A “family” member showed up out of nowhere and was staying day and night. I got pretty suspicious of them because they were clearly lying about knowing this person. Just talked to the fake family member about how it must have been sad since they just celebrated their birthday a week or so before getting ill. This person said it was a wonderful party and such, to which I replied their birthday hadn’t occurred yet and wouldn’t for months.

Turned out when security came it was a homeless person who snuck in and found a room with a sedated patient and decided to make it a place to stay. Needless to say security to enter the ICU was absolute shit.

3. Wow. My kids just get suckers.

When I was a medical student I worked in the pediatric side of the emergency room and we would give popsicles to all the kids. One afternoon an 8 year old came in with his father, and I asked what was wrong. The kid couldn’t remember what he complained about to his dad, and the dad couldn’t remember why he brought his kid in. The kid’s mom was a nurse, she was working at another hospital at the time, and she was the one that would keep track of these things. Anyway, after a few minutes trying to figure out what was going on the kid asked “so, can I have my popsicle now?” The kid was 100% healthy.

Unfortunately we reinforced bad behavior and both the kid AND the dad subsequently left with popsicles.

2. Kind of hard to blame him though, right?

Prisoner came in with signs and symptoms of a big stroke.

At that time the protocol was to get a non contrast head CT to rule out a bleed and then give tPA, a powerful clot busting drug that’s only worth the risk if the benefit is to mitigate a major stroke. So that’s what happened.

Later in the course he got a little carried away and started embellishing his story with symptoms that didn’t make sense with his stroke diagnosis, and that’s how we figured out he was faking it just to get some time away from jail.

1. What a smart little twerp.

My cousin got glasses. Her 7 year old little sister also wanted glasses because she thought it was so cool to wear them.

So she started telling her teachers she couldn’t read what was on the chalkboard. And she’d squint at home, and go incredibly close to the tv to watch things because she said she couldn’t see things clearly. Her parents got worried and took her to the doctor.

She read everything wrong on the vision test. Everyone seemed convinced that she needed glasses. But the doctor was a little concerned because the tests indicated she needed really thick glasses, and usually that wasn’t the case unless there was a family history of vision issues. Her parents both had 20/20 vision and her sister only had astigmatism. They all realized she was faking it.

So the doctor told her parents in front of her that she’d need some pretty intense eye surgery so she’d be able to see without glasses. They even wheeled in a machine to make it convincing to say they could do the surgery right then and there.

She freaked out, confessed to faking it all and started to cry. She got grounded for a while.

See what I mean? Human beings are so weird!

Do you have a story like this, from either the patient or doctor’s point of view? Tell us in the comments!

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Doctors Share the Biggest Faker They Ever Encountered

If you’re a Seinfeld fan (and of course you are) you probably remember when George fakes an arm injury to the point of actually having to go to the doctor to get it checked out.

The doctor says “may I suggest the possibility that you’re faking” and basically takes no prisoners in the face of a lying liar.

I sincerely hope these 18 doctors had the chutzpah to tell their faking faker patients the same thing.

18. How inspiring! Ha!

Whenever we had kids (usually teenagers) playing up their symptoms to extend their hospital stay, we would order them into a healthy lifestyle.

Lights out at 9, no screen time for two hours before bed time, healthy diet chock full of fruits and vegetables, screen time limits, minimum number of laps around the unit per day to get in their exercise…. they got better so much faster with our healthy lifestyle tips!

17. This guy really knows how to paint a picture.

Taking trauma call during surgery residency, had a prisoner come in after a fight and claimed he couldn’t move or feel his legs. All the CT scans and MRIs were normal, but we would shield his legs so he couldn’t see them and poke them with needles and other sharp objects, with enough force to cause pain- he never flinched or moved his legs at all. He was diagnosed with SCIWORA (spinal cord injury without radiographic abnormality).

He stayed in the hospital for a week, no improvement. Always had one guard with him. One night they were down in the lobby watching some television but the guard needed to use the restroom. The patient said, “where could I possibly go? I’m paralyzed!” Guard left him alone for two minutes.

Patient last seen sprinting down the road, naked butt cheeks flapping in the breeze. Made it to a city four hours away by car before he was caught again. I have never seen anyone fake it so well. Truly playing the long con!

16. Some of these are just plain sad.

Sorta along the same idea. Working at a pharmacy we saw a guy come in to try and get a refill on some pain meds that had no refill. After pleading that his ear really hurt we told him again we couldn’t refill it. One of the other employees saw his step into a side hallway and take a pencil and JAM it forcefully into his ear repeatedly, drawing blood. He calmly left and went to the ER. He came back a few hours later with a prescription for pain meds.

15. This is completely flabbergasting.

Dermatologist here

Patient was convinced she had a melanoma and needed a biopsy and would need to be on workers comp

I told her it looked like ink from a marker

She demanded a biopsy

I wiped the area off with an alcohol swab and showed her the ink and that there was no spot on her skin anymore

She stormed out threatening to sue

I’m just glad I cured her melanoma

14. I hope the warning worked.

This patient comes in for back pain with “weakness” of the legs. Gets a full workup with MRI, standard blood work, and then some immunological things to look for stuff like myasthenia gravis. No neurological or immunological explanation for the “weakness.” Patient is seen by physical therapy and they are of the opinion that the patient is holding back intentionally.

Go to see the patient at the end of the day and prep them for discharge. Patient is infuriated that they’re being discharged. Yelling and screaming about how they aren’t better, how they’re disappointed in the institution, blah blah blah. They said one particular thing that still clearly stands out 3-4 years later. “I can’t believe you’re sending me home already. I haven’t even told my family I’m here, and now you’re going to send me home before they even have the chance to see me?”

My attending and I leave the room to arrange things with the nurses. We go back in and the patient is out of bed and standing up in the middle of the room. Miraculously the patient is able to walk with zero assistance when they had so much difficulty with any assistance over the previous two days. At that point, they were enraged was enraged we went in to the room without knocking. They were discharged home after a conversation regarding abuse of medical services.

13. It’s a miracle!

Had a patient come in for a fall who now couldn’t move their legs at all. Did a bunch of tests, didn’t find anything. The patient was not at all phased by suddenly being paralyzed which was the first red flag. Didn’t really believe anything was wrong but the patient was still not moving their legs. My options are to admit for a huge work up or get them to walk. So I update them saying everything is fine, tests are negative, you can go home. Patient gets up, gets dressed and walks out without a word.

12. And this was a grown adult.

Had a patient when I was an intern feigning blindness. She would constantly be playing on her smartphone, only furiously trying to hide it when someone from the care team came into her room. The best was when my attending one day strolled pst her room and threw his hand up in a highly exaggerated ‘hello’ wave. She started to throw her arm up to but caught herself half way through, then threw her hand back into her lap and pretended to be ‘staring’ off into nothing.

11. This might be one of the saddest stories I’ve ever read.

Not a doctor but worked in health care for nearly 20yrs. While taking a break from the ICU (due to it being emotionally draining) I worked in home health for a bit. I had a patient who clearly had munchausen syndrome. On a daily basis she would call her insurance to see what things would be covered if she was diagnosed with this or that. She called her Doctor’s office an average of 5x during my shift with her, she would report all kinds of non real symptoms. She pestered the doctors into do exploitive laparoscopic surgery, of course nothing was found. One day I walked in and she was rubbing her incisions with rotten cabbage trying to get it infected. She wasnt seeking pain meds (except to sell) really she was just as happy with antibiotics or stool softeners, anything, as long as they wrote her a prescription and she got to go to the pharmacy where she did a whole song and dance for them too, claiming allergies and reactions.

She always increased the exaggeration of her story too. One time she fluttered her eyes (after making sure I was looking) and said she lost consciousness in that half a second. She called the doctor and claimed she lost consciousness for 5mins, she called the insurance and claimed it was 10min, she called the pharmacy and claimed it was 30min, then she called 911 and told them she woke up on the floor after loosing consciousness for 4hrs.

The worst thing about her was she was a mom. Her son was 28 at the time and by all the stories of his childhood illnesses and all her saying how he is severely disabled I knew she basically fucked up his childhood with munchausen by proxy. She portrayed him as being severely disabled and that’s why he would never find a wife…I met him, he was healthy and of average intelligence. He wasnt looking for a wife, he was gay, but she refused to accept that.

Working with her was so miserable that I took a couple years off from any and all healthcare after that.

10. Another Festivus miracle!

Nurse for an ophthalmologist here. Had a 21 year old new patient claiming to be completely blind from a sudden and severe glaucoma diagnosis from a previous unknown doctor. Would feel around while walking, tried to keep eyes rolled back into his head. The whole 9 yards. He said he is a famous YouTube rapper that is now unable to make videos or earn a living. I exclaimed to have heard of him before and very excitedly asked him to search and show me his YouTube channel on my phone so that I could subscribe. He took my phone out of my hand and effortlessly found the YouTube app and typed away in the search bar. Oh, and of course his eyes were back to normal and focused.

9. Hahaha that’s one way to cure them.

We had a patient faking a seizure so my supervisor told one of us to get the “brain needle”.

The patient made a miraculous and swift recovery without intervention.

8. Soccer players, man. Wimps.

One time my roommate (who is an ICU nurse) came to see one of my indoor soccer games. During the game a player on the other team went down “hurt” and starting screaming in pain and swearing and rolling around while holding his ankle before he was eventually helped off the field. He then limped over to where the fans sat and watched the rest of the game brooding in silence before he left early. After the game my roommate told me he was going to go over and see if there was anything he could do to help, until he saw that the guy was limping on the wrong leg.

7. Talk about a crazy (life-saving) coincidence.

Young (18-20) Woman went running into small rural hospital ER pretending to have abdominal pain. Police officer had tagged her going 40+km over the limit which was ‘stunt driving’ as per the new law in Ontario (impound and license suspension automatic). Cop followed her into ER and apparently said he’d be waiting for her when she left.

Locum staff such as myself were housed at a small B&B about 15 mins away, and the ER had pre-printed order sets to be done before we arrived.

When I arrived she flat out admitted that she just came in because she freaked out and didn’t stop. I told her we’d give her 45 mins to call her parents/family before I booted her.

Except, bHCG came back positive, and subsequent ultrasound came back showing extremely early ectopic.

Officer figures out something is up when he hears air ambulance call come in over radio.

She was completely asymptomatic and just worked out that she dodged both charges and a life threatening issue by accident.

It was definitely a WTF moment.

6. I need to know why, though.

I once saw a patient who had been faking paralysis of the legs for years. Used a wheelchair, never walked, etc. Old records showed extensive imaging, neurology consults, and other tests that proved the patient had full function of all extremities. Family/friends were just going along with it. Not sure if it was really conversion disorder or if the patient had some secondary gain issue.

5. Was she trying to get out of work, or…?

Physical therapist here.

Working mom comes into the clinic with her infant in a stroller. She’s limping like she’s got a nail in her foot. Wincing in pain and tears in her eyes. She’s crying during her visit with the PT. None of us think she’s faking it…

She limped out of the clinic. I glanced out of the window and saw this woman BOUNDING down the sidewalk. Hips swaying, full stride, going places.

We were all fools.

4. Things they probably don’t prepare you for in medical school.

Was told this one by a fellow nurse I used to work with when we had a psych floor. It’s not unusual for psych patients to stash things in various orifices. This one woman was convinced she was impregnated by a ghost like figure but no one would believe her.

So one day she started complaining of massive pelvic and uterine pain. She called them contractions. So the doctor goes to do an exam. The doctor feels something larger in there so they prep a table to get the object out which was quite large.

So the wonderful third year helping with the procedure starts hearing this woman complain of contractions and yelling things like “ SHOULD I PUSH!!!! I’M GONNA START PUSHING!!!”. Doctor trying to work forceps around this woman’s parts as to not hurt her. Finally goes “got…” and as he starts saying “it” he pulls out a baby doll. Head only.

The poor med student did the wobble. Went all flush, had problems keeping balance and about took a dive. I was told he didn’t live that down the whole rotation.

3. Oh my god this is horrifying.

Pediatric neuropsychologist. Got a referral for more or less consolidation care. Patient was 13, wheelchair bound, required therapeutic oxygen, seizures, arthritis, musculoskeletal problems, suspected autism, completely nonverbal, severe behavior challenges, the list goes on. He was being followed by at least 8 different specialties, clearly none of whom were communicating with each other, and med list was ~18 prescriptions long including some incredibly heavy duty stuff (opioids, antipsychotics, antiepileptics, that sorta stuff). Got kicked to me after his umpteenth ER trip because the ER doc felt something was off and he needed someone to look at the whole picture.

Factitious disorder by caregiver, or Munchausen by proxy. All of the original symptoms were parent reported, going back to about a year old. It had possibly started with a febrile seizure (fever induced seizure) in infancy, but this was never witnessed by anyone but mom she it’s unclear. She had been telling docs different things. She was convinced her son had all these disorders, told him he was going to die any day. He got a Make-A-Wish trip, donations, etc.

He was removed from her custody and taken off most of his meds. Within a few weeks he was out of the wheelchair playing basketball, no oxygen, super talkative and friendly, no behavior problems. He did have a pretty significant intellectual disability, but there’s no way to say if that was organic or the result of the prescription cocktail he had been fed all his life. Hopefully with some good therapy and a stable home, he can continue to make progress.

2. I’ve been tired as a mom, but not THIS tired.

Not a doctor, but am a UK based midwife.

Had a patient who had been in and out of hospital throughout her pregnancy with episodes of heavy bleeding. This was her 6th baby so she was a fairly well known patient in our unit. The issue was no one had ever seen her actively bleeding, she’d call saying that she had bled down the toilet but flushed it, and all the examinations we did came back completely normal with mostly no evidence of any bleed whatsoever, on occasions during speculum examinations we’d see the smallest amount of blood.

I was caring for her during a shift where she yet again called to say she was bleeding, walked into her room and found her jabbing around her vagina with a sharp object to make herself bleed. She had been doing it the entire pregnancy, the reason she gave – because she had 5 noisy children at home, needed some rest and knew we wouldn’t admit her to hospital if it wasn’t for a good reason. She would do it any time her being discharged home was mentioned. We ended up having to complete a perinatal mental health referral and consult with the safeguarding midwives as she was putting herself and baby at risk of serious harm.

1. You’ve got to learn to have a little fun I guess.

My brother was an EMT for two years and he told me this:

People will try to use the ambulance as a means for transportation from Fulton to Oswego (because the hospital is in Oswego), by faking seizures. Sometimes when the head EMT guy was feeling fun and knew that the person was faking, he’d say something like “man it’s weird that he’s having seizures but not peeing himself”. Apparently the person would kind of snap out of it for a second, weigh up the repercussions, then either pee themselves or stop faking. I thought that was hilarious.

Why are people like this?? I think some of them might have needed a mental eval.

If you’re a doctor, has this happened to you? Tell us your story in the comments!

The post Doctors Share the Biggest Faker They Ever Encountered appeared first on UberFacts.

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Jobs That Exist Because People Are Stupid

There’s no arguing that at least some professions only exist because a majority of humans have no idea how to take care of things themselves.

I’m not talking about specialized stuff like plumbing and electrical, but things that literally anyone could do if they just took the time to learn it.

These 17 Redditors were definitely ready and willing to tell us all the ways people are so spectacularly lazy and dumb that we had to create whole jobs because of it.

17. I mean…I guess necessary, but really boring.

I’m a self serve gas station attendant.

Honestly, the only reason i’m here is to slap the emergency stop button if someone starts pumping gas outside their car/gas can. Oh, and shut off the pumps when I leave.

16. See also: tax professionals.

My job – Financial Advisor.

Save money for retirement – at least 10% of what you earn, gross, in an IRA or employer-sponsored plan. Put it in growth mutual funds or ETF’s, and don’t touch it until you’re satisfied you have enough there to live on no more than 4-5% of the balance per year for the rest of your life. Don’t consider individual stocks with this money.

Establish a basic budget based on your post-retirement savings income and current expenses. Do not spend more than you bring in on a regular basis.

Save a little after-tax money from every paycheck in an FDIC-insured savings account. This is your emergency fund. Don’t touch it if you’re not in financial dire straits.

Once you have at least 3 months of expenses covered by that emergency account, keep saving the money, but flow it to another investment vehicle, such as stocks, bonds, CD’s, treasuries, real estate, precious metals… whatever you are comfortable with depending on your goals and risk tolerance that can at least hold value, if not grow it. This is your savings for home, car, vacation, and other major purchases.

With the possible exceptions of purchasing a home or borrowing for education that will actually pay for itself, don’t take on debt. Pay off your credit cards monthly. Pay your bills on time.
If you can’t follow the above, take a hard look at your lifestyle. Either find a way to earn more money, spend less money, or both. Second jobs are sometimes necessary, or many people just need to eat out less, go to bars less, drive a cheaper car, or downgrade their living situation. Don’t give in trying to impress others or looking good on social media; just do you!

15. This is a really underrated answer.

The companies that get you out of timeshares.

14. Just take turns, y’all.

Traffic police in Baltimore.

I was there this summer and the gridlock was atrocious. People push their way into the intersection, the light turns red, and they are stuck there until the light is about to turn red in the opposite direction, at which point those people push their way into the intersection and the cycle perpetuates. During rush hour, they have police standing in the intersections–not to direct traffic, though, simply to hold their hand up when the light turns red so that people don’t push their way into the intersection. Basically, a human has to stand in traffic for hours JUST to tell the drivers what the lights mean. It was unbelievable.

13. In one ear and out the other.

My husband is a Labor and Employment attorney for a massive company and gives monthly seminars to everyone there to not send dick pics/sexually harass one another.

And like clockwork someone in that room does it within a couple weeks.

12. Modern world problems, for sure.

The guys who install rubber padding around telephone and light poles so when we walk and text, we don’t break our noses walking straight into them.

11. All day, every day. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Tier 1 IT support.

Did you try turning it off and on again? Sure you did. Could you blow into the cable to make sure there is no dust in the connec– Oh the cable was loose? How surprising! Have a good day.

10. The signage that’s required on some stuff. Woof.

Safety manager here, a big portion of my job is saying stuff like “please don’t smoke near this flammable liquid” or other things most of us take for granted that people already know.

9. Everyone thinks their dream is to work from home.

I have a side gig doing data entry. I earn $25 USD/hr copying and pasting stuff from a webpage in to an excel spreadsheet, while doing some light formatting.

8. It’s like suddenly everyone is a toddler.

I work in an aquarium and we have what I can best describe as floor guides, which are just staff that interact with people and share interesting info about the exhibits. Realistically while that is part of the job the main reason for these people being out there is to tell people to keep their hands out of the Stingray and Turtle tanks because for some reason beyond my comprehension people don’t naturally get this concept.

At least once a day I hear “well why cant I touch the stingrays” and so far my all time favorite outcome of that question was a kid who said “They have the word Sting in their name”. I have wanted to say that so many times, but am unable.

Edit: since this post got some attention I’d just like to point out that Stingrays are relatively harmless and won’t sting unless they are in fear for their life and have no escape. They want to run away before all else and are actually quite friendly. That being said it isn’t that we don’t trust the Ray’s we just don’t trust the people haha.

Also we do have a touch tank with Ray’s in it, but it is curated and the Barb’s on those Ray’s are trimmed regularly as a further precaution.

7. Computers have really generated a ton of paychecks.

It service help desk.

My job exists because of stupid and let me give you a pro-tip about computers:

Computers don’t break because they don’t do what you tell them to, computers break because they do exactly what you tell them to.

6. Imagine getting paid to do that.

At my university we have a person who’s job is to stand by the garbage area and make sure people dispose of their trash appropriately

5. I mean, you never know I guess. Whatever solves the case!

Psychic detectives: because why trust a professional detective to be intuitive?

4. Are they all from New York City? Because that’s how they roll there, too.

On crowded nights, Disney Springs has employees working at crosswalks at the intersections from the overflow parking lots to tell people when they can cross.

They’re normal intersections that have lights telling you when you can cross.

People just don’t acknowledge them and will try to run across oncoming traffic.

3. You would think trash cans would be foolproof, and yet…

Litter control personnel for public parks and beaches.

2. Is this…a real thing?

Met a guy once – his job was putting dirt on potatoes. Somebody along the supply chain washed them pretty well by the time they got to the grocery. People didn’t trust the clean potatoes. So one guy had to put dirt back on them to make them more authentic.

1. It probably took people just as long to get on board with moving stairs, to be fair.

I had a temp job in a posh department store a few years ago.

The escalator going down from floor 2 to floor 1 had to be taken out to be replaced which took a month. Despite the many, many notices and the signs directing people to the lifts & stairs, a member of staff had to stand at the top of the closed escalator just to direct the public to the lifts and stairs. It broke peoples’ brains and it was worrying to see how many tried to get past the barriers, or got pissed and shouty because there was no escalator.

Like holy shit how did people cope before moving stairs were invented.

I mean…I really can’t argue, can you?

Do you think they left something out? Tell us what in the comments!

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