People Divulge The Craziest Deathbed Confessions They’ve Ever Heard

People on their deathbed must want a clean slate for transitioning into the afterlife, because it is there on which truths are revealed.

Watching a loved one slowly slipping away is indisputably one of the hardest rites of passage to witness.

However, there can be room for the slightest bit of levity when they finally have something they’ve been wanting to get off their chest.

What they impart could potentially change one’s perception of them forever.

Curious to hear some of the memorable things strangers online heard someone on their deathbed say, Redditor random_guy_somewhere asked:

“People who have heard deathbed confessions, what were some interesting ones?”

These final moments were far from peaceful but make for great stories.

A Sinister Confession

“My grandma confessed to murder on her deathbed. Usually you’d think it was the pain relief, but she was such an eccentric it was actually believable.”

“We traced all her ex-husbands, partners and any other likely candidates and fortunately no one was missing or died an untimely death, but sometimes I wonder…” – NotAnEarthwormYet

A Broken Tradition

“Not my story but that of a hospice worker who spoke to my class. For those who don’t know, hospice is a method of end-of-life care that focuses on alleviating the emotional & physical pain of a dying person to ease their passing rather than combatting their imminent death.”

“One of her patients was a bed-bound woman in her 90s who was generally unresponsive but had flashes of recognition & engagement. It’s hard to gauge the level to which unresponsive patients are detached from their surroundings, so they encourage family members to keep their company in hopes of soothing the patient.”

“Now this patient was from a U.S. state that prided itself on its state university (and the university’s football team). The woman’s family had attended this university for four or five generations.”

“During her hospice care, however, her great-granddaughter was the first in their family to decide to go to a different school—the rival state’s university, in fact. Her family was supportive of her decision but often joked about her being the ‘rebel’ or ‘Judas’ or what-have-you.”

“One day, they were all sitting around the woman’s bedside, teasing the girl about her decision. Suddenly, the patient sat up, looked at her great-granddaughter, said, ‘Traitor,’ and f’king DIED.” – scatteringbones

The following confessions were bold enough to elicit a chuckle.

Last-Minute Truths

“My grandpa, a Sicilian man with blessed cooking skills, told us on his deathbed that his meatballs were actually frozen meatballs from the grocery store.” – orangestar17

An Experimental Past

“My grandfather admitted to me and only me that he “accidentally” had sex with a man.” – Aggravating_Fish_169

Why Owls?

“I have an amazing one:”

“My great grandmother lived a very long and interesting life. She was in her 20s in the great depression. She had a wild streak from those days that we don’t know much about, to the point that we actually don’t know our great grandfather’s name. Just the husband she took later.”

“Over the course of her nearly 100 year life, she had collected owls. Literally thousands of owl figurines. She had clocks, wall-hangings, potholders, lamps, stained glass art, salt shakers, and more little figurines than you could imagine, all depicting owls.”

“We all wondered the importance of the owls. She never talked about them, we just all knew she loved owls.”

“Well, when she was nearing death, at the age of 98 or 99, and the docs said she had days, my grandparents went and talked to her and they asked her if she had anything she wanted to share or ask before she goes.”

“She thought for a moment, then said, ‘I never understood the owls.’”

“It turns out, she didn’t really give a sh*t about owls. Near as we could piece together sometime in the 40s or 50s perhaps, she bought either a trivet or a set of salt/pepper shakers that were owls. Then someone got her the other.”

“Those were the oldest owls anyone could remember. But from there, someone got her an owl to match, probably a potholder or place mat. And all the sudden her kitchen was owl themed. From there, it snowballed. The owls flowed like wine, baffling her for 60 years, eventually taking over as the bulk of her personal belongings.”

“The moral is: if you’re not actually into something, mention it early.”

These tender, poignant moments are sure to stay with these Redditors forever.

A Proud Parent

“My dad had Alzheimer’s and ended up in a secure ward. He was blind and almost deaf. I was visiting him one day. He didn’t know who I was, but he started talking about me.”

“He said I had done better than him in life and that he was proud of me. He was a quiet man IRL and never told me that when I was growing up.”

“Looking back, he did things that my dumb ass never realised were for me. Like, when he retired his colleagues asked what he’d like as a present. He chose a scientific calculator (this was back in the 1970’s).”

“He had no use for it. He gave it to me for university. I thought he was just passing it on, not realising that he’d asked for it with me in mind.” – LactatingWolverine

The Favorite

“I don’t know if this counts as a confession but it felt like one.”

“My grandparents have three daughters. Everyone always said that my mom was my grandfather’s secret favorite. He never agreed.”

“I heard he was on his death bed on April 6th. Went to see him on April 8th. He was scary looking and the doctor kept saying he didn’t understand why he wasn’t dead yet.”

“April 9th everyone but my mom had the chance to come and say goodbye. She doesn’t drive and my dad works 10 hours away. My grampa kept saying her name (well, saying.. he couldn’t eat or drink so it was more like a whisper).”

“My mom came by on the 10th. He looked at her.. smiled.. whispered ‘my amy.’”

“He closed his eyes and never opened them again.” – DoctorWhoTheF**k

Ready To Go

“When I was in hospital, the guy in the bed next to me just asked to stop taking his meds as he was ready to die. Last thing I heard him say was ‘There’s no one waiting for me at home, so I’m going where they are.’”

“Wasn’t really a shocking confession, just a lonely and heartbreaking one.” – DanHero91

Deathbed confessions are overrated, I say.

These intriguing anecdotes are a good reminder to ask questions and share as much about yourself to anyone, regardless of their age, while they’re still around.

I would never want to regret not having known a person well or vice versa before one of us expires.

We never know how much time we have with a person we hold near and dear to our hearts.

Sleepwalkers Break Down The Scariest Thing That’s Happened To Them While Asleep

Are you somnambulant?

If you are, you probably know this phenomenon by a different name—sleepwalking.

It mostly happens at night… mostly, and repeated occurrences can be a sign of an underlying sleep disorder.

A few years back, Stanford University School of Medicine researchers found about 3.6% of American adults are prone to sleepwalking. That’s more than 8.4 million adults, by the way.

And according to The Mayo Clinic, “sleepwalking appears to run in families” so if you happen to sleepwalk a fair amount, you might be genetically predisposed to do so.

Sleepwalking occurs more often in children than adults, however, so if you engage in sleepwalking as an adult, you could have some other underlying condition.

Sleepwalking itself is not harmful.

But it can be hazardous, and there have been quite a few horror films over the years that incorporated sleepwalking into their narratives.

But don’t worry, it can be quite funny, too!

Given sleepwalking’s comedic (and horrific) potential, it makes perfect sense that Redditor michaelw619 asked the online community:

“Sleepwalkers of Reddit, what’s the scariest/funniest thing that has happened to you while sleepwalking?”

“I don’t sleepwalk much anymore…”

“I don’t sleepwalk much anymore but about a year ago I put several pairs of shoes in the fridge.” ~ marleej

“I was met in a dream…”

“Only ever happened one time. I was met in a dream by my doppelgänger. She was a mirror image of me, but more beautiful.”

“Her eyes were bluer, her teeth whiter, her complexion clearer, her hair a shinier, longer blonde. She said, ‘When you dream, you’re in my world. I want to live in your world. I want to trade places with you.’”

“I grabbed my cellphone, backing out of my apartment with my eyes on her when a black shape exploded from a nearby closet flying straight at me.”

“I turned and ran out my front door, and was headed down the narrow staircase of the old house I lived in when I heard a low, gravelly voice say ‘Where ya goin’ Dolly?’”

“The black shape whisked around the corner and then it was upon me. I awoke in a crumpled heap on the staircase, my cellphone gripped tightly in my white fist.” ~ [deleted]

“One time, he woke up one morning…”

“My dad used to sleepwalk. One time, he woke up one morning and had about six cats sitting with him on the couch. They all had owners.”

“According to his next-door neighbor, who was very nosy, she saw my dad running around luring these cats with food and bringing them home with him in the middle of the night.”

“He has no memory of doing that and can’t explain why he didn’t wake up to the meowing and scratching the cats made.”

“Luckily he didn’t get charged with animal kidnapping but had to start tying his feet to the bedpost so there weren’t any more incidents for a few years.”

“We also learned that my dad was allergic to cats, so there’s that.” ~ [deleted]

“I have an Ambien prescription…”

“I have an Ambien prescription and I often cook ambitious meals at night, with no memory in the morning. It’s not unusual for my roommates to find me cooking bacon at 3 a.m.”

“At first it was concerning–what if I burn down the house? However, my unconscious self is extremely diligent–I ALWAYS clean up entirely and usually end up cleaning the entire kitchen.” ~ [deleted]

“When I asked what the hell he was doing…”

“My boyfriend sleepwalks. A couple of nights ago he ripped the duvet off me and threw it in the hall. When I asked what the hell he was doing he just replied that it’s full of spiders and then just stood facing the wall.” ~ Eliza109

“Not my finest moment.”

“So one time I had a dream that my brother (who was too young to swim at the time) jumped into a swimming pool so I dived in to save him… Yeah in reality I just dived off my bunk bed… Not my finest moment.” ~ UkuleleRequiem

“She asked me if I was ok…”

“My mom told me that I stood over her till she woke up. She asked me if I was ok and I just turned around and went back to bed.” ~ th3_pope

“Around 4 a.m. the other night…”

“Around 4 a.m. the other night my girlfriend let out a violent scream and sprinted to the door where she began beating on it!”

“I ran over, grabbed her, and when I did she began screaming even louder and started flinging her arms around until she finally realized it was me and she woke up.”

“She said she was having a dream and there was a stranger trying to kidnap her. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life!”

“Also found out that if something ever did happen to me in my apartment, my neighbors don’t give a s*** and I would definitely die.” ~ robmacgar

“Apparently I had an imaginary phone call…”

“Apparently I had an imaginary phone call with someone for fifteen minutes about what I was going to have for breakfast in the morning.” ~ ITomza

“I took an entire carton of milk…”

“I took an entire carton of milk from my fridge then proceeded to return it after much deliberation with myself.” ~ CatchingSomeZs

 “He didn’t know our room number.”

“One time in a hotel, my little brother left the room and walked down the hall before waking up. He didn’t know our room number.” ~ sadafasadafagafagada

“The only time I did that…”

“The only time I did that, I walked into the kitchen and started digging around in the junk drawer looking for scissors.”

“My dad asked what I needed scissors for, I grumbled ‘Never mind,’ and went back to bed. Remembered none of it the next day.” ~ Okaylasttime

Humans are wild, man.

Well, that settles it. None of us are safe.

We can’t even enjoy a little bit of sleep without getting ourselves into danger!

This is truly why we can’t have nice things.

People Divulge The Most Surprising Computer Skills That People Still Don’t Know How To Do

It seems like the younger generation is often the generation in charge of having basic computer skills and walking our older counterparts through how to use them.

Teaching them how to save something as a pdf, or how to install a firewall and how not to download creepy solitaire game from third party websites takes up a lot of our time..

Eventually, though, you expect they will pick up some skills of their own.  When they don’t, it can be incredibly frustrating to go through what you consider a simple process again and again and again.

So when Redditor anushitech polled Reddit:

“What is one computer skill that you are surprised many people don’t know how to do?”

People saw it as an opportunity to vent.  And vent they did.

Cyberspace: The Final Frontier

“I remember my aunt wondering why her document wasn’t in the My Documents folder on our family computer.”

“She had saved it in her own My Documents folder on her own computer the next town over and apparently assumed there was only one Windows 98 communal My Documents folder in existence.”-b*ttboy3

“I taught a computer course several years ago.”

“I remember the biggest thing for most completely-new computer users was not looking at their hand while moving the mouse, and being terrified of breaking the computer by accidentally closing a window or something.”

“Oh, and knowing whether they should single click or double click – this was a major preoccupation for some.”-timmyrey

“I teach web design at the college level. Used to teach community weekend workshops. Html and css with some expected knowledge of computer basics.”

“Local workforce development group would enroll people to update their skills, but would never actually check for prior knowledge. Had to teach how to hold a mouse, that right-click meant use the right mouse button.”

“Had to teach how to open and save files. That the web was not loaded onto a computer and that you needed to connect to the internet first.”

“Not a lot of actual html taught some weekends, which was a shame for those who really wanted to learn. Waste of time for everyone.”

“I started sharing curated resources for web design. started pointing people to a basic into to computer class that should be taken before mine.”

“Kept making requests to have someone vet the students before putting them in my class.”

“Finally gave up when i had a student who wanted to use her ancient flip-phone so she could take work with her.”

“No internet on the thing so made her user a school computer. She got pissy when something wasn’t working.”

“Turns out she was trying to go online with Windows calculator. No idea how she even got there. She eventually went ballistic when the code she typed in her email wouldn’t work (again, wanted to save the work to take with her).”

“I have almost eternal patience, but couldn’t take an irate woman screaming in my face because aol email won’t work for writing code.”

“The class was supportive and I patiently let her leave early. I decided teaching those weekend workshops weren’t worth it after that.”-mister-chad-rules

Going The Long Way

“I once had a guy send me a picture of his desktop. I asked for screenshot of his screen as it was generally easier then asking for the IP address which our company puts on the desktop.”

“Guy couldnt figure out how to screenshot his desktop wallpaper but figured out how to take a photo with his phone and attach it to an email.”-pixxie84

“Working in phone customer support, the number of times I’ve had an old person do a Google search for a web address instead of going to the url has made me realize most middle aged and elderly have no idea what a browser or address bar are.”

“‘Type “site url” into the address bar,’ I say. ‘I did! The page isn’t here!’ they say.”

“9 times out of 10 they were just on a Google page and I lost a week of life expectancy.”-taburde

“I’ve tried to incorporate spreadsheet skills into the chemistry labs I teach, and at the intro level some of them are REALLY uncomfortable using it for repeated calculations, and instead want to just work it all out one by one.”

“Some of these students are the same ones who complain that I give way too much work…”

“That’s not to say I’m not still learning new functions in Excel (just learned about sumifs and countifs recently, which def simplifies my gradebook calculations), but I really feel like everyone should have a grasp of the super basic stuff and have a concept of what a spreadsheet can be used for.”-caffeinated_tea

There Are More Ways To Do One Thing

“I was training a new 22 y/o coworker and noticed a lot of her typing mistakes involved both the first and second letter of a sentence being capitalized.”

“I inquired about it and her response was ‘sometimes i don’t turn caps lock off fast enough’… i was puzzled but kept it cool…”

“I decided to watch her type a little later on and sure enough she would hit caps lock every time she needed a upper case letter followed by turning caps lock back off…”

“When I told her what the shift key did she was genuinely ‘mind blown.’ She had just graduated college.”-Satanic_Nightjar

“People are generally pretty computer illiterate. I’m not a tech guy whatsoever but a basic understanding of shit will save you so much time.”

“I used to work at a Planet Fitness and good god do the managers need basic training in computer skills.”

“I was treated like a god for knowing how CTRL+F worked and having a basic understanding of Snipping Tool for printing out QR codes.”

“They used to really push us to sell Gym Essential Kits and when writing reports on how much they sold they would bring up the report and count one by one.”

“I was a front desk guy and had to show my regional training manager that if you just press Control + F and type in an individual employee’s name, however many times it came up minus 1 (it showed the employee’s name one extra time) was how many they’d sold.”

“This saved us hours over the course of a week. In typical manager fashion, he went ahead and took credit for this and promoted his real-life friend who was bad at their job.”

“F**k that place. I’ve never seen a company with that much incompetence at a manager-wide level.”-PrecariousAchiuwa

“As a teacher, I’ve been saying this for years. Kids and teens these days aren’t as tech savvy as they claim to be, or rather we claim them to be.”

“They grew up in a world populated by apps, very user-friendly apps.”

“90% of apps have the same structure- the lines or dots to indicate the menu, same style controls or swipe methods, etc..”

“They know which apps to find and can navigate them very efficiently; however, ask them to do intermediate level tasks on a desktop or even successfully using their browsers when researching and they struggle quite a bit.”

“Things I learned in tech/computer class in the early 2000s is not really taught anymore.”

“Instead, it’s heavily focused on programming and apps, and while very cool and likely a marketable skill, they seems to skipped basic functions and tools.”-ElZarigueya

“Google how to fix their problem. Apparently I have some superpower where I see the error code or know the name of the software and a brief description of the problem and get helpful google results with little effort.”

“Everyone else seems to just say ‘I don’t know how to find that…’ and then treat me like some kind of mystical wizard afterwards.”-anon_e_mous9669

The little tips disclosed here about computer use could really save you time and work one day if you didn’t already know them, so it might be a good idea to break out that notebook and write some of these down.

At the very least, we can all avoid becoming another story on AskReddit.

Housekeepers Divulge The Biggest Secrets They’ve Learned About Their Employer

Being a domestic servant is a difficult job, no matter what position you’re filling.

People who work personally and privately for others in their homes always seem to have a mountian of tasks.

These jobs can also be tedious and humdrum. But they can also be intriguing.

One of the perks of these types of jobs can be the secrets and information you become privy to.

Honey, there are just some lives you learn about that could rival storylines on “Dynasty.”

After all, truth is stranger than fiction.

Everyone on Reddit wanted to drink up the hot, hot tea delivered by Redditor Hunterofshadows when they asked:

“Housekeepers of reddit, what do you know about the owners of the houses that they don’t know you know?”

Now this ought to be scolding darling…

What a Stinker!

“Not a house keeper but a nanny. A family once took me on vacation with them so I could watch their kids while they‘d go out and explore the area.”

“That week, my bed was the couch in the living room. It’s late at night, the kids are sleeping, I’m laying on the couch and the parents get back.”

“The dad says, “is she sleeping” referring to me? I didn’t say anything so apparently he assumed yes.”

“He then started farting very loudly.”  ~ sisof2

One Day at a Time…

“Dog walker, here. I was dog sitting for an older work friend once and saw her “days sober” calendar.”  

“I was simultaneously sad, because I had no idea she was struggling, and happy for her because she had almost a full month marked off.”  ~ cleanandclaire

“I will hit 3 weeks on Sunday. This is the longest I have gone without alcohol in 10 years.”

“The only times it was longer before that were the 3 times I was deployed overseas and no alcohol available.”  ~ RSchnars

Not so loud next time…

“I’m a nanny. The last family worked for I overheard the Dad calling his insurance asking if a certain Rehab was covered.”

“He talks LOUD naturally. I heard what he was going for and everything.”

“Nobody knew not family not friends. Just me and them. They never knew I knew.”  ~ Thesugarsky

Some special announcements…

“Our maid service found our positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash, after presumably finding negative pregnancy tests in the bathroom trash for the previous 12 months.”

“Left us a nice little congratulations note on my wife’s nightstand.”  ~ fizzleguy

“Mine found the “Best new daddy” mug I gave my husband.”

“Bless them, they hadn’t said a word about what had been in the trash.”

“Unfortunately, I had to follow that up with the miscarriage news a month or so later.” ~ ttcanuck

A Passage to Nowhere…

“House I used to work at had a secret passage from the master bed to the attic, also a secret passage from a cabinet in the great room leading to the exterior of the garage.” ~ madiet6uwu

“I grew up in a house with a trap door in the pantry floor that led to a bricked in “cell” in the basement.”

“The house was built in the early middle 19th century in an area that became known for Underground Railroad traffic and then as a Prohibition smuggling route.”

“So I’m sure that little room had some history to it.”

“Edit: Unless you guys know more about my house than the people from the university that came and checked out the house, please stop telling me it’s a cellar or root storage. It isn’t.”  ~Capt_Hawkeye_Pierce

“I just worked in a house a few months ago that had this!”

“10 million dollar mansion built in the late 1800’s.”

“They started in the kitchen/servants quaters and ran behind the walls coming out in each room with staircases that went up to the second floor and down to the basement.”

“Some of them were sealed off but the ones in the living room, master bed and basement still had their functioning pocket doors.”

“It was really awesome and made me feel like a kid again exploring them.”  ~ iHateMonkeysSObad

A Whole New World!

“A bit of an innocent one but while I was cleaning I saw this cabinet that was very large.”

“Like someone could fit a body in there. So, being curious, I opened it and saw A WHOLE ROOM.”

“It was crazy! Inside there was a bed and lights attached to these tall wood pieces.”

“Then a mini bookshelf with some books and a desk and computer. It was absolutely amazing.”  ~ LemmeHear

Well that’s a surprise!!

“Where she keeps her sex toys. It’s not obvious.” 

“One day I noticed that whenever I used the toilet the water was barely enough to send away my “deposit” so I opened the water tank to adjust it and I found not only one but several.”

“Well they are waterproof I thought.”  ~ yaarty

“I’m not a housekeeper but my late aunt used to be. One of her clients, who was fairly well-to-do, had a whole closet full of genital themed toys.”

“And when I say “toys,” I’m not using a euphemism for “sex enhancement items” or anything like that. Literal genital toys.”

“Windup penises with googly eyes on them, PEZ dispensers shaped like the most browsed pages of a skin mag (I suspect these weren’t official PEZ brand).”

“Rather risque variants on “pin the tail on the donkey”, a Nerf-like gun that fired foam phalluses.”  ~Times_Hunger

“My aunt is currently a house keeper.”

“The had this one client who would throw used feminine hygiene products under the bed; pads specifically.”

“No matter how I think about this I just can’t imagine how someone can get to that level of grossness.”

“If you’ve ever had a heavy menstrual cycle and wore a pad, you know sometimes not everything is absorbed into the pad.”

“You need to immediately sit down in the toilet or it can quite literally go everywhere.” ~ aamirazeal

She’s a Whole Hot Mess!!

“That she got a DUI. Typical religious white collar family; husband, wife, and 4 teen kids.”

“She had one of those at home breathalyzer tests from the court sitting in the master bathroom, it takes your picture as you blow into it and it sends it to your probation officer.”

“I only know because I was on probation a few years ago and had one too.”

“Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at her public record… yup.”

“DUI and she messed up on probation too, had another court date. After that I started noticing 12 step books and such.”  ~ LunaTheFerret

The way people live

“Working in hotels is similar to cleaning someone’s house, because those comfortable will lay it out for you.”

“You can tell if someone is messy or tidy at home, how well they take care their things, what they eat, how much they drink, what medical problems they may have.”

“And if you get the chance to meet them you can piece together why they live the way they do by telling their stories.”

“I never made fun of our guests or judged them. That would be so unfair and intrusive.”  ~ silly-noodle

I See You!

“My cleaning guy caught me leaving the house once.”

“Said he knew I smoked pot because he’d find stuff for it a lot and asked if he could find me some for a camping trip with his wife.”

“I freaked a little after he just said “I know you do marijuana”. I was like am I catching a lecture.”

“We moved like a month later so I never really saw him face to face again. Hope he enjoyed it.”

“They were good people and appreciated us more than they ever had to.”  ~ 420Minions

See, if you have people in your house—personal or staff—assume you’re always being watched.

I’ve always wanted to be able to afford cleaning help, and if I ever can, I’m going to make sure to be on alert.

The walls really do have ears.

Chefs Share The Best Cooking Tips All Amateur Cooks Should Know

If you’re anything like us, this pandemic means you’ve had a sharp spike in your cooking show viewership.

We’ve spent the last year and change being baking champions, totally nailing things, chopping our way through challenges, and scoffing at everyone who tries to make a risotto in round one (that rice is totally going to be undercooked!).

For most of us, our culinary training consists of sitting on our couches munching on grown-up lunchables while we “learn” from TV chefs. There are, however, some brave souls among us who have actual kitchen experience and real room to talk… and they’d probably tell you not to try a risotto in round one.

Reddit user BigBadWolf44 asked: 

“Chefs of Reddit, what’s one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?”

Risky risotto aside, chefs have tons of cooking tips and tricks to share with we mere mortals. So let’s put down the remote, pick up a pan, and get this party started.

First put on pants, though.

Safety over everything—nobody likes burned bits.

Hold The Salt 

“A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar” 

– Vexvertigo

“Agreed. These are what I sometimes use to add acid depending on the recipe:”

“white/red/rice/malt vinegar, some chilli sauces, lemon or lime, wine, sherry, dry vermouth, preserved lemon.” 

– MayaSummerX

“Ah the discovery of citrus and vinegar was a great turning point in my cooking. I always call it the ‘tang,’ so I’ll hit it with a splash of vinegar/citrus and it just brightens up the flavors.”

“This was very important when trying to achieve proper Asian and Latin flavors.”

– Sheruk

We Like To Call It “Smaste” 

“Smell is very similar to taste, and if you’re not sure about combining various spices, open the bottles and smell them all together.”

– SuddenSenseOfSonder

“Smell literally is taste because of retronasal olfaction. The receptors on your tongue can only do the 5 basic flavors: sweet, salty, umami, bitter, sour”

– ChonglerV

“Oh, that makes a lot of sense!”

“I cook for myself with no training, but whenever I’m seasoning anything I always judge what to add based on how it smells. People often think I’m weird for it, but it always turns out pretty good.”

– AerialSnack

“WHAT? ITS THAT EASY?! IMA TRY THAT WHEN MY ROOMMATES ARE UP NORTH!”

“Its cookin time. I’m gonna make hella snacks.”

– Zenketski

“I’ve cooked professionally for years and I still do this.”

“If I’m not sure what a soup or dish needs, I take a bit of said soup to the spice rack and take a small taste, then smell a spice, seasoning or what have you.”

“Go down the line tasting and smelling til you find a combination that makes you go ‘mmmmmmm.’ “

– disgruntledcabdriver

Subtraction Isn’t A Thing, Unless You’re Adding

“You can always add, but you cannot take away.”

– El_Duende666

“I decided to put a couple globs of Mad Dog 357 in a pasta sauce. It’s like 300k something scoville but figured in a crock pot worth of sauce it won’t be too bad and add a little spice.”

“Made about 15 mason jars of sauce.”

“I regretted that decision. You cannot make something not spicy if you make it too spicy.”

“I made another pasta sauce but kept the mason jars from the other one too since I don’t like to waste. Now it’s Russian roulette every time I decide to eat pasta.”

– RedSquirrelFtw

“To build on that – when cooking, you must add to take away.”

“Say for example you add too much salt. Not to worry, just double everything else in the recipe and you’ve now halved the salt content.”

– MayaSummerX

And While We’re Talking About Too Much v. Too Little…

“Chill out with the flames.”

“If you’re not ready for high-heat, cooking many things at once, or if you simply can’t imagine staying by the stove for a long time to give the food your FULL attention then please, for the love of salt, turn the burner down!”

“You can always cook it more, you can’t un-burn it.”

– Lett3rsandnum8er5

“You can also always add more heat, but it is impossible to uncook something that is overcooked.”

– ForgettableUsername

“For grilling, I’ve always said you can undercook, then cook more, but can never uncook.”

– facelesspirit

On Fumbling A Knife

“Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle. Meaning don’t try to catch it, there is no safe way.” 

– wooddog

“I’m always so proud of my reflexes for NOT kicking in when I fumble a knife.”

“If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing).”

“But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way.”

“Good lookin out, cerebellum!”

– sonyka

“Speaking of KICKING in…”

“On my first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground.”

“I’m insanely lucky; the blade went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, and into the sole somehow without cutting me.”

“Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be.”

– AdjNounNumbers

The Critical Click

“When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs.”

– Kolshdaddy

“People really overlook this one. You’ve gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish.”

– BigTimeBobbyB

“It’s also critical that you giggle and call yourself a crab when you do it.”

– CommodoreCliche

“It’s also good practice to sing ‘tong t-tong tong tongs’ a la Sisqo’s ‘Thong Song.’ It helps cement the idea that you are holding tongs.”

– larj_Brest

You’re Probably Making Veggies Wrong

“Really think about what size you’re cutting your vegetables in relation to cook time.”

“It’s better to have a perfectly cooked larger vegetable that you have to use fork and knife a bit to eat at the table than a bunch of overcooked, mushy bite sized pieces.”

“Generally speaking, the best simple preparation of cooking a vegetable is usually roasted on a sheet pan with olive oil, S&P.”

“And for god’s sakes, make your own salad dressings fresh!”

“It takes no time, you likely have what you already need in your pantry, and it tastes 10x as good as the crap in the bottle. You’ll be surprised even how much better Ranch dressing tastes if you get the dry seasoning packets and mix it with some fresh milk and mayo and let it set for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.”

– JasonK87919
“Roasted vegetables are great. I used to hate them, and my problem was I wasn’t roasting them long enough.”

“They’d either be hard and undercooked, or mushy. The key for me was to cook them past the mushiness stage to get them to where a lot of moisture is out of them and they have browned a bit (or more!).”

– putsch80

“One of the main reasons people saying they don’t like roasted veggies is not fully preheating their oven before putting the sheet pan in.”

“Yeah you put your timer on for the right time, but the first 5 maybe 10 minutes don’t really count. Now everything is just weird.”

– wickedzeus

… um, okay yeah that last comment might have hit a little too close to home. I promise from now on to actually wait for the pre-heat to be over before I put things in the oven.

Or at least to TRY and wait.

And to sigh and go “Reddit was right” every time I forget and my veggies come out gummy.

It’s the least I can do.

People Who’ve Called In To A Police Tip Line And Gotten The Reward Share Their Story

There are, at last count, around 8 billion people on the planet.

The odds of someone seeing a crime committed are actually quite high when put into that perspective.

That’s where tip lines come in. The crime is committed, someone knows about it, and they call the number and get a nice little reward for their assistance.

Of course, for the people that call the line, how they got there is the real story.

Redditor Renzotl56 was curious and so came to Reddit to ask:

“Has anyone here ever actually called into one of the FBI rewards for information on criminals and won the money? And what happened?”

Coincidence can pay handsomely.

Ten years ago I’m working front desk at this third rate motel and I’m the only employee on property until 7am.”

“So I get this report of an unruly guest and check it out.”

“Dudes whacked out on something, threatening other guests and I call the cops to remove him.”

“On their way out they tell me he’s got active warrants in another state.”

“I don’t think anything of until three months later I got a check sent to me at work from a sheriff’s office two states over.”

“Turns out the guy was wanted for a double murder and I got the reward when he was convicted.”

“I felt pretty good about that.”~still_alive_in_NY

The reward isn’t always money.

“This is kind of related, when I was younger there was a bad drought and the lake I went to fish at was probably 10 feet below where it usually is maybe more, and I went to go fishing under a bridge with my stepdad.”

“I got bored so I started playing in the rocks.”

“I found an old pocket knife and a pistol.”

“Turned the pistol in to the local police department and got a metal back from them and a letter where it was used in a case to convict a murderer, I don’t really remember the details I was in fourth or fifth grade“~p*ssycrusha69

Sometimes, the best reward is a job well done.

“My sister has a pretty weird hobby – she solves cold cases by helping match descriptions of bodies that have never been positively ID’d to missing persons matching the body’s description.”

“She’s solved several cases and submits them to the FBI tip line.”

“Twice now, she’s gotten phone calls from law enforcement as a result, one from the FBI and one from a local police department.”

“One had reward money tied to it from long, long ago.”

“She turned it down.”

“Both times, she’s informed the agency calling that the missing person disappeared before she was 10 years old (that’s her limit, she doesn’t look at recent cases to avoid potential problems), and they just kinda shrug and move on.”

“That’s all.”~notsolittleliongirl

Some people had to give a bit more help than others. 

“In college we had a drive-by shooting on my block.”

“The police showed up and asked all the neighbors if they had any information.”

“I had just heard the shots from my house, and wasn’t able to help.”

“A few days later I was walking home from class and I found a shell casing the in the grass near where the shooting was.”

“I didn’t want to touch it so I got home and called the police.”

“I was very very specific about exactly where the shell casing was, and that I DO NOT want the police to come to my door.”

“The neighbors were pretty sketchy people and I just didn’t want to be seen being involved.”

“Well, these f*cking cops walked right to my front door and asked for me.”

“I told them exactly where to find it (again), they walked to the general area, looked for maybe a minute, then walked back to my front door and asked if I could show where it was.”

“Godd*mit.”

“So I led them to shell casing while the sketchy neighbors stood on their porch and watched (looking very displeased).”

“Apparently, the fingerprints on the casing matched one of their suspects and he was arrested and went to jail.”

“The cops stopped by a few months later with a $20 giftcard to a sub shop.”~Throwaway_stopdrink

The real villain here is soap. 

“I called CrimeStoppers once.”

“The local news released a video of someone violently robbing a store.”

“They beat up the cashier pretty bad.”

“I knew it the second the video started who it was—a guy I used to party with and had spent the night with a few times.”

“The CrimeStopper folks gave me a number to write down to claim the money if he was convicted.”

“I wrote it on my hand then washed it off accidentally like an idiot.”

“It was on the smaller side, I think around $1k, but it would have made a big difference at the time.”

“And the guy did end up getting convicted and is still in prison now.”

“I’m sure a bunch of people called in, though, so I don’t know how much I would have gotten.”

“Anyone who grew up in my area who was around my age would have known the guy.”~yourerightaboutthat

It isn’t always about what you know, but where you are. 

“My step-mom got a $25k FBI reward when she came across a girl who had been abducted (and her whole family was murdered).”

“The girl had been held in the cabin next door to my parents’ cabin for about 3 months.”

“The guy who did it left her alone for a couple of hours and she escaped, in the middle of winter in a very cold area.”

“My step-mom was walking her dog in a pretty isolated area and the girl ran up to her; she was obviously very disoriented and traumatized but step-mom helped her escape through the woods to a safe place and call the cops.”

“There was a huge media circus, and although all the reward money ($25k from the FBI and $25k from a local business) was awarded to my step-mom, she concluded that since the girl had technically rescued herself, it was appropriate for the money to go to her.”

“(Apparently there is some rule that you can’t get FBI reward money in a case where you’re either the victim or perpetrator, so the money had to be accepted and then gifted back to the girl.)”

“In the end, the girl got the money and my step-mom got a big tax bill that year because reward money is taxable.”

“She got to be interviewed on national TV by Gayle King though and, y’know, helped save someone’s life.”

“So she’s pretty okay with it.”~cityofdestinyunbound

Usually, though, it’s about who you know. 

“One of my wife’s co-workers received a substantial reward for turning in the so-called ’20th hijacker’, Zacarias Moussaoui.”~reg-o-matic

And, 

“Worked at a small, local bank.”

“A regular customer comes in and I greeted them by name.”

“They hand their check and a note to me.”

“Note says they have a gun and to hand over all the money in the drawer.”

“I comply and as the customer leaves I push the emergency button.”

“We had all of this person’s info on file and the police caught them at home.”

“Bank recovered the money, person went to jail, and I got a small reward for ‘catching’ them”~mpshanny87

The little laws are always the hardest to avoid. 

“Don’t remember the full details but my mom called the cops on some guy who was featured on America’s Most Wanted.”

“Guy was on the run for several things I think but still took time out to get his tag renewed at the DMV.”~whatnameisnttaken098

Even criminals can show kindness. 

“My neighbor down the road growing up was always getting into trouble.”

“One day someone robbed a gas station with a gun, and accidentally shot the clerk (so he claimed), and the police didn’t know who did it.”

“After about a month, they offered up a small reward for information.”

“The guy arranged to have his wife turn him in to collect the reward because she would need it since he knew he was going away for a long time.“~samuraidogparty

From terrorists to belligerent hotel guests, all were brought to justice by the power of tip lines.

While the rewards weren’t always substantial, the above stories are really about people working together to keep everyone else safe.

That’s always a good call.

People Describe The Most Disrespectful Thing A Houseguest Has Ever Done In Their Home

Most of us have had a guest in our home from time to time, whether it was a quick coffee, a weekend party, a8 longtime stay or anything in-between.

But there are those of us who are lucky enough to say nothing particularly inappropriate happened during those visits.

For others of us… unfortunately, not so much.

Redditor xxHEYxx asked: 

“What’s the most disrespectful thing a guest ever did in your home?”

Some guests blatantly disrespected hobbies and collections.

“They decided to completely rearrange the bookshelf that I have categorized by author and genre. They wanted it to look more ‘cozy,’ so they added a bunch of stuff and took books out, rearranged them, etc.” – King1861

“Background, I love puzzles and own a decent collection of wooden ones that are used as decoration in the guest bedroom.”

“A guest who was sleeping over decided it would be a good idea to dismantle every single one of the puzzles, mix all of their pieces together, and leave them in a pile for me to find the next day.”

“This happened years ago and remembering it still gets me p**sed off…” – j0bs

“I had some friends in middle school come over and smash up all the Lego sets in my room then wondered why I didn’t want them to come over again.” – Hydrosimian

“I had a giant bucket of random assorted legos as a kid. One of my friends p**sed in it at a sleepover one night and let me tell you, you don’t really notice it at first until it gets real pungent, and by then it’s too late. Never found out who did it to this day, but I have my suspicions.” – kargu12

Others disregarded any sense of personal hygiene.

“Cut their toenails in my living room. They were just visiting for a few hours.” – PigCopsFatTits

“Oh man, my friend hosted a sleepover for some friends, and one of the guests apologized for their feet, because they’d just done one of those baby feet things and the soles of their feet were PEELING EVERYWHERE.”

“Only after we were like, ‘Maybe put some socks on so you don’t leave a trail of dead skin everywhere?’ did she do something about it.” – haylmoll13

“A guy blew his nose on a tissue and then just threw it on the floor. The worst thing is, he expected me to pick it up for him.” – thunderfart_99

“The couple sat down at a table with a cake (which hadnt been served it) and each took a fork and started to eat it.”

“They did not cut the cake into a piece for themselves, but went back and forth with forks to mouths and to cake, smacking and slurping. Nobody else wanted any cake.” – fraubrennessel

Never mind basic house etiquette. 

“The neighbor’s kid came in with dirt all over his feet and then wiped them on the carpet. Never did get the stain out.” – kwaters1

“My son’s friend (middle school) opened all the yogurts in my refrigerator. Didn’t eat then, just opened all the tinfoil lids.” – lennybriscoforthewin

“My sister use to stop over, drink my beer, steal my wife’s clothes, make a mess, then leave.”

“We changed the locks, so she’d steal my parents key to get in, so we stopped giving them one and somehow she’d still get in, like a d**n cockroach.”

“We have since moved far out of her visiting range.” – jonsacreep

“My brother used to do this. He would eat all of my food, clog my toilet with his massive shits, and then veg out on the couch for hours playing COD on my PS3.”

“Talking to him about it did nothing. I eventually just had to change my locks and he started doing the same thing to my poor mom.” – gil_beard

Some went so far, they should have been arrested.

“When I was in college and living at my dad’s house still, he would go out of town every other week or so.”

“Had some friends over when I had the place to myself one night, and a friend of a friend put her cigarette out in the flower boxes (full of mulch/soil) hanging from the windows by the back porch.”

“It smoldered overnight and started a fire, and I woke up to the house filled with smoke and a charred up back door.” – Gandalf**kyourself

“I invited a friend to ‘predrink’ at my parents’ house (in our 20s so my parents were fine with it).”

“He showed up completely obliterated, while my parents were there and dropped a small baggie of cocaine in front of them. He then proceeded to ask where the washroom was.”

“Needless to say, that was a pretty tame night for me, as my parents sent him packing. I had no idea about his coke habit, just for the record.” – Gone_cognito

“My friend’s wife came out of our master bathroom and let us know she ‘borrowed’ some pain meds she found in the medicine cabinet. She then slept on the couch for most of the visit.” – KeepingBalance

“A ‘friend’ asked to stay with me for a few days because she was having relationship problems. Turns out the relationship problems were all down to the fact she had a massive coke habit and her boyfriend was fed up with her spending all their money on it.”

“The first night she invited 5 people who I didn’t know around after I’d gone to bed and I had work the next day. Then she just disappeared for 3 days and went on a bender, I had her boyfriend calling me worried sick and nobody knew where she was.”

“When she finally turned up, she called me a s**tty friend for not covering for her. She didn’t even ask me to! Yeah, we’re not friends anymore.” – dd2487

It might be really fun to have guests over, but according to these Redditors, there are some potential problems that come with guests who don’t understand boundaries or proper etiquette.

Though we’re likely see some strange behavior from a guest at some point, hopefully we won’t experience any of the more shocking instances described here.

People Share The Most Terrifying Facts About The Universe

What life lies beyond the clouds?

What life forces dance among the stars?

What secrets does the sky hold?

What sort of ferocious creature is sitting on a planet waiting to evaporate us?

Or what sort of dark element hides in the vastness of the unknown, biding it’s time to unleash a dangerous fury over all the planets and lives in it’s path?

These are all the lighthearted thoughts I ponder when I think about the Universe and space. And what could possibly be out there.

Sometimes science and knowledge can be more anxiety inducing than fun.

Remember back in the days of middle school? We’d all learn about space and space travel and theorize about what lies beyond and it would be a fascinating process. That was cool.

Or do you recall enjoying films like Alien, Armageddon and Deep Imapct?

We’d watch them and laugh about how none of that could actually happen.

Now cut to 2021 and I’ve lost track of the number of asteroids I hear about that have barely missed us and or are coming for us.

Now who’s laughing? We know next to nothing about what is out there. And the more we discover, the less I want to hear.

And I’m not alone in this opinion.

Redditor ZenitsuCrybaby wanted to discuss all the things we may not want or need to know but do.

They asked:

“What is the most terrifying fact about our universe/world?”

The Big Burn Out…

“Every once in a while, our sun just emits a solar flare big enough to end civilization.”

“In 1859 we had one hit the Earth powerful enough that the telegraph system became self powered for a while before burning itself out.”

“Fortunately at that time, that was pretty much the extent of our electrical infrastructure, so the damage didn’t do too much to civilization.”

“If one hit today without any warning, every system on long spans of wire would be fried. We’d lose a massive amount of infrastructure.”

“No refrigeration for food distribution, large chunks of communication infrastructure gone, massive amounts of manufacturing capacity gone.”

“Pretty much every aspect of life would be affected. And without that infrastructure, we almost certainly don’t have the capacity to rebuild the infrastructure before people start starving to death.”

“And once people start starving, things are likely to go downhill pretty quickly.”

“You might be wondering what are the odds that we’ll ever see another solar storm that large, and the answer is that we already have.”

“On July 23 of 2012, a similarly sized solar flare missed the Earth by 9 days.”

“In the last few decades we’ve added in some early warning systems and protocols to give us a chance of surviving.”

“Basically we’ll get about 45 minutes warning to disconnect as much of the electrical grid as we can, then hope enough of it survives.”  ~ open_door_policy

Better Life Out There

“The universe’s opinion of us: Mostly harmless.”  ~ FredGruntbuggly

“What’s even scarier is that if there is other intelligent life out there, it could have stuff one million times stronger than all of the nuclear weapons on earth combined.”  ~ ThatOneDoveSlayer

Tiny, tiny bits…

“How unfathomably tiny our planet is in comparison to the continuously expanding universe.”  ~Grentis

“The way that the universe operates on such an infinitesimal small scale, but also an impossibly massive scale freaks me out.”

“Even if we can look at the numbers and know the scale, I feel like our minds can’t really conceptualize it.” ~ Reddit

“What’s worse is that not only is the universe continuously expanding, it’s accelerating.”

“Meaning that as time progresses that distant galaxies will literally fade from view, the light emitted from them will never reach us.”

“Eventually the inhabitants of our galaxy will never know of that the universe extends beyond our local group of gravitational bound galaxies.” 

“And even eons beyond that… the notion of other galaxies outside the milky-way will be myth.”

“Dark Energy is one cruel witch.” ~ GRVrush2112

The Grand Expansion…

“What’s outside the universe?”

“If it’s always expanding, what is it expanding into?”

“Any time I think about this for too long it reminds me about how little I understand about the existence of anything and it scares me.”  ~ businessgoose3000

Empty Spaces

“One of the largest “structures” in the universe is the Boötes void. A void is a region of space that contains very little celestial objects or matter.”

“It is a region of the universe 330 million light years in diameter. Despite this it has been found, so far, to contain only 60 galaxies.”  ~ NOVAQIX

We are so terribly young…

“I’ve posted this before but I think about it a lot. Our civilization is so, so early.”

“The universe is expected to continue star formation for 100 trillion years. We exist 13.7 billion years after the big bang.”

“That’s 0.014 percent of the total “habitable” time of our universe.”

“If the big bang was January 1st, 1900 and star formation ends at January 1st, 2000. Then it’s currently January 6th, 1900.”

“What are the chances of that? Why do we exist now, so early, instead of any other point in the rest of time?”  ~ TheReaper42

We know nothing for sure…

“Humans can’t understand the concept of eternal and we can’t understand the concept of infinite.”  ~eggslocated

“That’s why I’m scared of the afterlife, If there is one. The idea of simply ceasing to exist scares me, but the idea of existing eternally also scares me.”

“I simply cannot comprehend the idea of existing forever and ever and ever and ever with no end in sight.”  ~ edd6pi

Anybody out there?

“There could be intelligent life on other planets or we could be the only form of intelligent life in the universe. Either scenario is pretty terrifying.”  ~ Thomas_Chinchilla

“To me, being all alone in the vast expanse of space is an extremely interesting possibility.”

“I scoff when people say it would be boring or a waste of space.”

“It would be absolutely fascinating if there was all of that out there, and then just us.”  ~ dubspace

And on Earth

“You can be born into a completely awful and nightmarish environment, and never escape it. You’ll be born miserable and die miserable.”  ~ DANYALKIM

“There’s also people born into these that do make it out and they’re much stronger for it and go on to ensure that many people don’t end up the way they were.”

“Doesn’t make it any better but at there’s a little glimmer in there somewhere.”  ~ Reddit

WARNING! DANGER!

“We’re not yet at the point of no return for the coming ecological catastrophe and we’re gonna sail past it anyway.”  ~ zomboromcom

“Considering the fact that our planet is the only one known to sustain intelligent life in the discovered universe.”

“It reminds you of how many things have to line up perfectly in order for that to be possible.”

“It is a very fragile balance, and certain ecological and atmospheric temperatures/resources/chemical concentrations are essential.”  

“Yet we look at the way we are carelessly screwing it up, but it is easy to imagine this one in a million planet becoming unlivable.”  ~ twilit_earth

Stop the Killing!

“We have millions of unknown living things on our planet, and most will never be discovered due to humans killing nature.”  ~ Cubsfan630

“Tbh it’s not even just humans killing nature. Humans are also just not capable of seeing or hearing tons of things.”

“There could be a giant 4 dimensional uv dragon sitting next to me and if I hear a fart my brain will blame it on the dog cause I can’t see the dragon.”

“Or that’s how I interpreted the other posts on this stuff recently lol.”  ~ raspberrykitsune

Well that is a lot to process. I don’t remember middle school and high school science classes being so full doom and gloom.

No matter what is out there, one thing is for sure. Humans… we have to do better!

We all play a part in the survival and the downfall, close to home and far and wide.

I’m going to stick to learning about English Lit now. There couldn’t be anything to worry about there.

Right?

People Divulge The Most Disturbing Facts They Almost Regret Ever Learning

I’m a big fan of horror movies and quite a few of my favorite films happen to be depressing, hard-hitting dramas the average person might not choose to watch.

But truth, as they say, is stranger than fiction and real life can often be much more disturbing than anything we might see on our screens or read in books.

For instance, have you ever heard of the Kaimingjie germ weapon attack? During World War II, the Japanese bombed the Chinese with fleas infected with the bubonic plague.

The attack is just one of the many war crimes the Japanese committed against the Chinese, and that’s including the atrocities, among them human experimentation, committed at Unit 731.

If you have the stomach for it—and I have rarely been more serious in my life—the film Men Behind the Sun dramatizes many of these crimes.

It turns out there’s no shortage of disturbing facts out there.

Let’s face it, humans are messed up.

We heard quite a few of them after Redditor Ddeddffddvvf asked the online community:

“What was a fact you regret knowing?”

“From personal experience…”

“From personal experience… just how fast pigs… process… a corpse.”

“Had an old goat die in the barn and didn’t find her for a couple of hours. At the time we had two pigs that were a few months old. Didn’t realize just how much we had messed up by letting them be in with the goats that day.”

“Come evening, we go to close up and do the evening chores, and find half of a goat spilled all over the floor with our pigs rooting around the guts. And that’s the story of how fifteen-year-old me learned to respect pigs.” ~ CalamityJay

“More people jumped…”

“More people jumped from the burning World Trade Center on 9/11 than you think. Do yourself a favor and don’t Google it.” ~ GoreyFeldman

To which this person replied:

“Seriously. I was on a 9/11 kick recently, if you want to call it that, and I came across a documentary on YouTube of footage stitched together from the first plane hitting to the final building collapsing, lasting about 1 hour and 40 minutes.”

“No interviews, just cellphone footage, old home cameras, and some news footage sprinkled in. There’s a section in the documentary of people beginning to jump one after another. It continues on for the rest of the documentary and it’s very disheartening.” ~ TheChubbyBuns

“The Challenger space shuttle…”

“The Challenger space shuttle astronauts were most likely alive and awake on the way down.” ~ thezoidberg

“An octopus penis…”

“An octopus penis is actually one of their tentacles. So if you would go and pet an octopus at Sea World or some other place you could be groping their penis.” ~ TillyOTilly

“Every year thousands of children…”

“Every year thousands of children write to Santa Clause. One of the most requested things children ask for on their Christmas lists is a dad.” ~ jadedgenie

“There was an experiment…”

“There was an experiment once where, every hour, a rat had to choose between getting fed or having the pleasure nerve of its brain stimulated. And the rat being tested starved every time. It’s pretty interesting but also kind of sad.”

“Thanks, Freeman’s Mind.” ~ Superflamegameplays

To which this person replied:

“Yes, but for those experiments, they keep the rats isolated in cages with nothing else to do. So of course they choose that option all the time.” ~ hammermuffin

“Male ducks…”

“Male ducks gang-rape female ducks.” ~ PopcornVT

To which this person replied:

“Male and female ducks are also in an evolutionary arms race to develop more and more convoluted genitals to prevent/enable the rape. I am not kidding.”

“Female ducks develop more and more convoluted vagina shapes to make it more difficult, and males respond by developing ever longer explosive spiraling corkscrew dicks.

“The females that can control when they mate (only relaxing their vaginal shape when it’s consensual) are more successful and the males who are better at raping are more successful (in the sense of passing on their genes/having more living offspring), so they just keep evolving in that direction.” ~ holysh*treddit

“Your child is more likely…”

“Your child is more likely to be abused by someone you know than a stranger. You literally have to protect children more from their own family and friends than random criminals.” ~ CerseiLemon

“The fact that at literally any second…”

“The fact that at literally any second you could lose someone you love. Everyone “knows” this but once it’s happened a few times you’re acutely aware of it. A car wreck, a miscarriage, a heart attack, stroke.” ~ SaltyTapeworm

“This is dark, but…”

“This is dark, but in the U.S., police are not legally obligated to protect you.”

“There was a case where a police department refused to enforce a restraining order or act after a father kidnapped his three daughters because they assumed he would bring them back to his wife eventually.”

“He ended up killing them and driving their bodies to the police station, where he was then shot and killed. The police department was sued for not acting, but was found not guilty.” ~ ecoseeker

“That there are…”

“That there are anywhere between 25-50 active serial killers in the United States, according to the FBI.” ~ nmacro

“So when they land on your sandwich…”

“Flies don’t have teeth. So, when they land on your sandwich and want to eat some, they barf up the contents of their stomach (often containing another animal’s s***) so the digestive enzymes can get on the food and then they eat.” ~ Tmbgkc

We apologize in advance if any of these truly scared the hell out of you. It’s a big, beautiful world out there, but we’d be lying if we told you it’s not without its horrors.

While we’re at it, we’ll leave you with this—did you know that a brain aneurysm can happen at any time?

Aneurysms are unpredictable and may not show any symptoms until they rupture.

That’s a fact that has kept me up at night sometimes. And if you didn’t know about it, then you certainly know now.

Be afraid… be very afraid.

People Share The Most Fascinating Facts About Serial Killers

As much as we’re all aware they’re morbid, morally destitute, and thrive on violence above all else, we are fascinated by the lives of serial killers.

Surf through any streaming site and you’re sure to see at least a few documentaries and fictional dramas whose subject is some guy on a killing rampage.

But whether we feel ethically compromised about that interest or not, the content isn’t about to slow down anytime soon.

Redditor zimmy9921 made sure of that when they asked the following question:

“What are some serial killer facts/ facts about serial killers that you find extremely interesting?”

The Killers’ Methods 

“Jeffrey Dahmer…towards the end right before he got caught, had so many bodies in his apartment that he ran out of room and stored one victim in his bathtub. He proceeded to shower over him everyday for a month!”

“Think about that…straddling over a rotten corpse to get fresh and clean for the day. Unreal…” — TrollOfTheInterwebs

“The serial killer Bela Kiss liked to pickle people in barrels stored in his basement. Someone figured it out but they couldn’t get him because he was fighting in World War I. By the time they tracked him down he had disappeared and left a dead guy in his hospital bed.”

“He supposedly joined the French Foreign Legion and deserted that too, and I think history loses track of him after that, with the exception of one possible sighting as a janitor in New York. The janitor disappeared before anyone could confirm it.” — Ayback183

“I am surprised we don’t hear more about Robert Hansen in popular culture. He would kidnap women and turn them loose in the Alaskan wilderness, where he would then hunt them down like animals and kill them.”

“He didn’t have the highest number of victims, but his method of hunting them for sport is absolutely insane.” — glaring-oryx

“Mack Ray Edwards, he was a serial killer who worked for CalTrans. He’d kill his victims and then bury the bodies in places he would later help build the highways over.”

Not all his victims have been found, and many are very likely still under some of the California highways you may have driven over countless times.” — llcucf80

Wildly Bold and Snarky

“PeeWee Gaskins, most prolific serial killer in SC drove around in a hearse with a bumper sticker that read ‘I haul dead people.’ He told people that he needed it to take the bodies of people he killed to his private cemetery.”

“He claimed to have killed between 100 and 110 people.” — SCCock

“Jeffrey Dahmer gave the people in his apartment building sandwiches that could’ve possibly been made from his victims’ flesh.” — votedog

“The golden state killer, known at the time as the east area rapist, would often break into the homes of couples, making the woman tie up the man.”

“He would stack dishes on the back of the man and threaten that if he heard the dishes fall, he would kill everyone in the house, then he would rape the woman repeatedly and ransack the house for hours.”

“At a community meeting about the rapist a macho man stood up and went on a rant about how a real man would never let such a thing happen to him or his wife.”

“The rapist proceeded to attack that man and his wife soon after, meaning he was attending the community meeting about himself.” — PM-ME-A-SPICY-MEME

“I find it interesting that apparently the BTK-killer installed alarms at several people houses because of their fear of the BTK-killer.” — bleke_1

“Dennis Rader, aka BTK (Bind Torture Kill) started communicating with police after years of silence in like 2004ish? He had gone decades without being caught and once again started sending taunting letters and items to them.”

“He asked them if he could be traced if he sent them his writings on a floppy disc and they assured him through a communication in a newspaper that no, they couldn’t trace him. He sent them a floppy disc and they found metadata linking to his church.”

“He was arrested shortly thereafter. He was hurt that they would lie to him because he thought they had developed a rapport…” — goatywizard

“Additional BTK funfacts: He worked for a home security company, and gained access to some of his victims’ homes that way.”

“When some home security cos tried to sell me on their services when I first got a house, said ‘not today, serial killers!’ to that whole mess.”Zebirdsandzebats

“[BTK’s] wife found a poem that he wrote about one of his victims.”

“When confronted he lied and said it was for a writing assignment for a class he was taking and he chose to write it about this woman because she was all over news due to her murder.”

“I think that was the closest a family member came to finding out.”PantherMoose

Many years ago I read the entire police report on the Green River killer. I was fascinated by his attempts to cover his tracks by buying new car tires and destroying shoes and getting new ones after murders (to avoid leaving traceable tracks behind.)”

“Also fascinating that he took the jewelry off his victims and left it in the ladies restroom at his workplace and got off on seeing the ‘found’ jewelry on various woman around the office.” — smarmageddon

Oddball Facts

“Jeffrey Dahmer didn’t eat people with tattoos because he said the ink made the flesh taste weird.”

“Be safe, get inked.” — Bossmantho

“That most serial killers have roughly average, often below average IQs, and their reputation as smart and difficult to catch is because of a couple of high profile outliers and the fact that their victims are usually the sort of people who cops and society don’t pay as much attention to.” — ithran_dishon

“Jeffrey Dahmer was neglected by his parents in childhood and hadn’t even seen his mother for 10 years prior to incarceration. At sentencing his father and step mother asked for 10 minutes to say goodbye and hug.”

“His father often visited him in prison and he had weekly phone calls with his mother. Despite the heinous crimes they seemed to have some kind of unconditional love. It makes all of the stories I hear about estrangement seem to have a different, strange perspective.” — Goose1963

“I don’t recall which one it was, but I remember hearing that there was a killer who would only go into the home if the front door was unlocked because otherwise he ‘didn’t feel welcome.’ Lock your doors people!” — RealKenny

So if, on the off chance, you want to freak everyone out at a party or an ice breaker, you have plenty of ammo now.