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These Hotel Workers Have Seen Some Really Strange Things

I don’t think the news that people who work in hotels see weird stuff is surprising, exactly, but I’m also not sure I expected the stories to be this strange.

These 15 hotel employees are ready to tell their stories, but I’m honestly not sure we’re prepared to hear them.

But let’s go.

15. That’s…curious.

A friend of mine worked in Housekeeping, she called me up one day like “you have to see this.” She’s in one of the High end suites. (This was in a casino, so for the super high rollers) The customer that had stayed was a regular; and she was a conservative older woman.

Scattered among hundreds of empty Sunkist cans are dozens of d*ldos, empty tubes of lube, other various s^x apparatus. No alcohol bottles, not even the nips from the mini bar had been touched, just orange soda cans everywhere.

14. That’s definitely weird.

Not me, but a mate of mine worked at an Ibis in Sydney (cheapish hotel brand in Australia, unsure where else) as a temp cleaner. Not really disgusting or weird, but the residents had decided to cover the floor in the bathroom with mayonnaise, and the same with the mirrors.

13. That’s one heck of a joke.

I was working at a luxury hotel and we had a fairly big name band staying with us. There were no noise complaints, and they seemed to be perfect tenants.

When they left and we went to clean the room, EVERY SINGLE PIECE of furniture was nailed to the ceiling in roughly the same configuration that it was in on the floor. I found it to be quite amusing. Management didn’t.

12. Like…how often?

A dead guy.

Happens more often than you would think.

11. What on EARTH.

We had a guy that was active military that would stay often. He would leave his very large suitcase full of s^x-toys wide open on the bed for the maids to find while servicing his room.

We eventually had to ask him to leave the property and not return after he pooped on our very white towels and promptly folded them and re-hung them so the poop didn’t show.

10. None of that is ok.

A hostage.

Guy and girl meet a drug dealer at his hotel room. They guy didn’t have enough money or something. So the dealer tells him to go get it while the girl waits with him in the room.

Apparently the guy bailed and ditched his girlfriend with the scumbag drug dealer. When it became clear that the guy was not going to come back, the drug dealer spent a few hours raping the girl. Security went to the room because of several noise complaints. The security guy knocked on the door and heard someone start yelling for help.

He called for back up. While security was calling the cops the drug dealer fled the scene. When the police showed up they found some drugs, a big bag of sex toys, a gun in the room and a severely battered and traumatized woman.

9. WHY, THOUGH.

This couple stayed in one of our rooms for a week, they would just ask if we would put fresh linens and towels by the door and that they would take any trash to the dumpster. So after their week of being there, and none of our housekeepers had been in that room for a week, one of them opened the door…

The first thing was the smell, it made our head housekeeper puke and she had to run away, they had sh%t all over the walls and rubbed it in. They sh%t on the floor, television, beds, air conditioning system, and even clogged up the shower with shit. We’re thinking they must have had a party of people just sh%tting in this room.

It was so bad that we had to evacuate the hotel (ask everyone to leave and pay for them to go to another hotel), call the cops, call a hazmat cleanup crew and it took a week and a half to clean this room. Today is my last day there. It was sold to a company that wants to make it into offices.

Last night I found an old man bathing in the pool, just for references. If you want a job with free coffee and wifi and never a shortage of ‘wtf’s’ then get a hotel front desk job.

8. Well, they’re sort of the same.

My friend said he found a crack pipe in the coffee maker.

This was in atlanta, ga.

7. I would still be mad.

My family is in the hotel business. One day a particular room just started to stink to high hell for no apparent reason. We checked everywhere multiple times looking for the source of the scent, no dice. We sprayed everything in the room numerous times with deodorizer to no avail. Left the room open daily for months to air it out without any change.

Finally, we somehow tracked the smell to the table lamp. We were dumbfounded, asking ourselves how it could be emanating from there. Son of a bitch had broken the thing, put a fish in it, and glued it back together. My brother and I died laughing and actually applauded this guy’s ingenuity. He got us good, and I ain’t even mad at that.

6. If only she’d shut the door.

I work at a hotel in Ontario and one of our housekeepers decided she needed to take a shit while cleaning some guys room, so of course instead of using the employee washroom down the hall she say down and did her thing.

The guest had forgot his briefcase and walked into the room to discover a 20 year old girl taking a dump in his room with the door open. She was fired

5. It’s almost impressive.

Two lesbians somehow set the toilet on fire.

No other fire damage just a melted toilet.

4. I feel sorry for everyone involved.

A woman who was showering but got sick (food poisoning) and she went to throw up. While throwing up, naked, she then got the other part of food poisoning and spray shit all over the wall, floor, cabinets, and mirror. It was stomach churning but impressive.

The smell of this was horrid, I had to leave the room and come back twice because I needed to get some fresh air. When everything was wrapping up and security was just getting information for their report (we record anytime we have a medical problem at the hotel) I left.

I pulled out my phone and called housekeeping right away and said “We just had some lady go to the bathroom all over the bathroom. Send a few people out here with extra gloves, a bunch of sanitize and as much deodorizer spray they can find.”

3. People are special.

I worked hotel security years ago. I was working third shift during a convention one night, when I got on one of the elevators while doing a routine check of the building. The doors of the elevator opened up, and there in the middle of the floor was a pizza box.

Something about that seemed a bit off, so I opened the box by stepping on a flap with one foot while flipping the lid open with the other. Inside were two huge human turds studded with dozens of toothpicks.

2. Poor goat.

A goat dressed like Abraham Lincoln.

There’s no more story here, at least none that I know. Working as a cleaner in a hotel, went to clean a guest’s room, dreading it since they’d been there for a stag do, found the goat.

Don’t know how it got there, or how it was removed, but it made a good story for a while.

1. This story is one wild ride.

At one point in my life I worked the front desk at a local hotel. I worked the evening shift, and at least twice a week these two transgender girls (men who became women, passable looking) would get a room.

They would always go to the bar down the road after checking in, and usually always bring back a couple of guys with them. One night, my co-worker calls out and I’m stuck doing the overnight shift. It’s about 3:30 AM, and I’m finishing up the audit early because it’s a pretty slow night. At this point, you would go around the hotel and slip receipts under the door of each guest.

Anyway, I get to the third floor and the first, first and only, thing I can see is one of those t-girls completely naked, passed out drunk with a bottle of wine, bent over the hallway couch as if she was left waiting for someone to f*ck her (or passed out right after).

As I try to wake her up, she tries to pull me down onto the couch, then tries to seduce me by rubbing my thigh, all while I’m trying to very nicely push her hands off of me and ask her to get to her room before I call the police.

She lets off, and I agree to help her back to her room, since she obviously has no key anymore. I open the door for her, and once again, the first thing I get to see is her passed out friend, fully naked, legs spread and junk hanging in the open. Next to her is this odd brown mess, which only took about 1/2 second to figure out it was a giant puddle of shit on the bed, with a shit covered double dildo on the floor at her feet.

I left that room as fast as I could, gave the housekeepers a heads-up in the morning, put a note in the computer saying to not allow those two to check-in again. One of the housekeepers quit two days later, which I’m pretty sure was because of that experience.

Just when you think people can’t shock you anymore…

Has anything like this ever happened to you? If so, I think I want to hear about it in the comments!

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Hotel Workers Discuss the Weirdest Thing They’ve Seen in a Guest’s Room

All professions have unique secrets, and that goes double for people who work with the public – there is just no shortage of weirdness when part of your job includes working with other human beings.

That goes double, I would think, for people whose job it is to clean up after people.

These 17 stories from hotel workers are for sure proving my point, so please enjoy.

17. What did he expect?

We had a swingers group stay at the hotel for a few nights. They had a rave going on up on the second floor, there were naked people everywhere on the floors, kids were freaked out by it, other guests were complaining.

On top of that, families could hear the couples running from rooms and constantly f*cking. One guy had found out his wife was pregnant with another guys child so he decided to throw the tv out the window.

It was complete chaos and this is a luxury hotel.

16. I’m guessing some kind of substance was involved.

I had a guy who said his microwave didn’t work and I went up to the room and he locked a plate of food in the safe.

15. I hope they threw out the tongs.

I use to install flooring all over the place in various hotels, during one of the routine installations I had to move the bed, as soon as a moved it over.

I saw it, a behemoth of a purple d*ldo.

Absolutely massive, we ended up jokingly chasing the owner of the hotel around for a bit with it with it held in some tongs before we tossed it.

14. You almost have to be impressed.

Well..

-checked empty room left with doors wide open, on table was brown bag with over $20000 cash

-tried to wake a guy up to checkout, but he was dead

-basketball team used a toilet for communal poops, no flushing. All weekend. The entire toilet was encased in a mountain of poop. They must have had to stand on the ledge of the sink and lean over. Or straddle one foot on the bathtub and somehow not fall into it. It took devotion. Horrible and wtf at the same time.

13. That’s going to be a bad Yelp! review.

I worked at a pretty crappy low budget “3 star” hotel in Canada a year back. On my last month there, a guest came in to request to visit a potential room. Now, I didn’t discover this myself, but I had no choice to afterwards.

The guest comes back after the visit clearly pissed and leaves without saying anything. I go check the room afterwards only to discover a pillow head completely covered in human feces. Someone had wiped their ass. Hell, even the room cleaning staff “didn’t” notice it as it was clearly obviously found behind a chair.

This was supposed to be a clean room ready to rent for the night..

12. That’s definitely something.

Ducklings.

The guest said the mother had died and started looking after the ducklings herself.

We found them in the lodge bathroom.

After that they were kept in someone’s office till the right people came to collect them.

11. I think they should have called the police.

My employer is not a hotel but an online hotel booking website.

We have been contacted by a hotel before who was “complaining” about a guest.

The guests were found unconscious, on the balcony, completely covered in blood, naked, with a knife.

The room was an absolute horror show.

10. I can’t believe they threw her away.

There was this one guy who stayed at least one night every week and he always requested the same room.

We thought he was maybe making drug deals or something so we searched the room after he checked out one day.

Turns out he was hiding a blowup doll under the mattresses. We threw it away and he only came back once after that. I kinda felt bad for him.

9. They got their money’s worth out of that.

My boss has told me the story of a couple on their honey moon

So we basically set out to try and get things our guests ask for and these newlyweds wanted a chocolate fountain. Sure, my boss thought, wouldn’t be to much of a hassle right? No, they had to search like hell to find one.

Well after the couples stay they check out and don’t really say much. When the maid is going to clean the room she basically goes in and starts laughing, my boss comes into the room to and there is chocolate f*cking everywhere, you could see her a**cheeks in the bed and on the table and even in the roof.

You could make out where they started and where they stopped.

8. This makes me mad.

Cats. Cats everywhere.

And a $100 tip with a not that said, “thanks for taking care of these guys, be back in a week.”

She didn’t come back.

7. I’m thinking that cleaning was a waste of money.

A man was having his house deloused and deep cleaned and wound up staying at the local Marriott that I worked for at the time. He was there for something like 30 days or so, drunk off his ass and high on something the entire time.

He never once let housekeeping in. After his departure, the cleaning staff finally entered the room. They were horrified not only by the stench of the place, but also by the utter wreck he left behind. Basically every single piece of furniture was severely damaged, the floors stained and greasy, the linens too far gone for further use, and rotten food everywhere.

It took a week to get the room back in rotation. No wonder it took a month to get his house cleaned up and free of vermin.

6. I think I would quit.

One of my relatives worked in the hotel industry. There was a guest who just left, and when the cleaning ladies entered the room, one of them noticed a pungent smell.

Went into the washroom and holy mother of god.

Apparently someone stuffed a towel filled with poop down the toilet bowl, and the floor was covered with weird yellow stains.

5. I…don’t know what to say.

There are always three rooms that will stand out to me above all else though:

1) We had this guy stay for a full week without letting housekeeping into his room. Each day we brought him new towels and new trash bags and he would meet us at the door to take them. When he left, we were terrified of what we would find, but the room was spotless. He had not touched a thing, and had even gone behind himself to clean with bleach. All the towels we brought him were folded up neatly, apparently unused. Even the bed was how we had left it. Super weird.

2) Walked into a family’s room to replace towels and do general clean up while they were still there and was met by their 12 year old son jacking off. This is after I knocked on the door and he said it was ok to enter. I immediately left the room and returned an hour later when his parents were around. The whole time I was making up the room, the boy sat on the bed crying.

3) Worst room I ever walked into was not dirty in any way. General dirtiness from use, but nothing special. Or at least that’s what I thought until I checked under the bed. There was a GIANT blood stain, taking up almost all of the floor under the king sized bed. We immediately left the room and called the police. I dont know if anything ever came of it, but we shut down the room for two weeks so we could completely replace EVERYTHING.

4. That is all horrible.

I used to serve room service in a hotel that was near a major national hospital, and the two locations had reached some sort of business agreement where people going into surgery could stay at the hotel the night/nights before for a discount rate.

During my three years there, we had about six guests die during the night while waiting for surgery. It was always handled in a really hush-hush manner, but it was always f*cked up to hear about.

We also had a couple of p**n shoots go down in the guest rooms. Getting a room service request for four bottles of coffee and lots of wine at half-past midnight was always a good sign that something sketchy was going on…as was opening the door to see filming lights and tripods.

3. My heart!

We had an elderly (70s) couple stay with us once who were the absolute best. We offered a complimentary dinner around 6 p.m., and the wife had come over to the front desk and brought me a plate of dinner, saying “You’re far too skinny to get any girls, young man.”

I thanked her and ate it, while her husband walked up, gave her a leash, and she left to go walk the dog outside while her husband and I talked about what they were doing in my neck of the woods. They go back to their rooms about half an hour later, and I go about my business.

Around 8:30, he calls down crying, saying his wife won’t wake up. I go up there, calling 911, but I found that she had passed away, sleeping on his shoulder, while they were watching Wheel of Fortune.

I wept like a girl that night, and kept him company while he tried to call his children, who weren’t picking up their phones.

2. That’s definitely weird.

As the owner of a bed and breakfast place the craziest thing i found was an old battered notebook with “Why i love salad” written on the front.

And then literally 40-80 pages on why salad was amazing.

There’d be the occasional suggestion that the author believed salad to be alive in some sense. Looked like it had been written on and off over the course of several years.

1. That wasn’t in the job description.

I work at a low-budget hotel in western PA. Like two weeks ago we had a guest who was getting kicked out for not paying their bill (they had stayed with us for a few months but started slacking on paying what was due). Well checkout time comes, they haven’t checked out with the office.

We go to knock on the door, no reply. We go I side and find them (two ladies in their 50s) dead from an overdose. They had apparently been dead for around 12 hours. Coroner comes and we find out that he needs helping moving the bodies, so me and a few of my coworkers have to lift these two bigger dead ladies and transport them out of the room, down the stairwell, and into the coroner’s vehicle.

Sure, they were in body bags at that point, but still it was so surreal because nobody saw this coming. We all loved them, they just couldn’t pay their bill anymore and killed themselves. They left behind a “note of self destruction” and everything.

I’m appalled, but I don’t think I’m surprised.

If you’ve worked in a hotel, hit us with your best stories in the comments!

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These People Left a Sketchy Situation and Never Looked Back

Whether it’s a sketchy date, or a moment in time where something – or everything – just feels totally off, we’ve all been there.

Those are the moments when listening to our guts, or those little voices in the back of our heads, is more important than ever – and these 15 people didn’t hesitate when their’s started talking.

15. Red flag.

I was at a party, it was a bunch of suburban teenagers like myself at the time.

There was this dude I didn’t recognize walking around and acting super hard, even though he was really scrawny.

He finally got to me, and was like, “yo, I got AK47s for sale, you want one?” I was like, dude, shut up, you ain’t got sh%t.

He takes me out to his car and opens the trunk. It is FULL of guns piled on top of one another. Handguns, assault rifles, shotguns, you name it.

I ended up sneaking out, hopping in my car and heading home.

This dude ended up being a known foot soldier type for a gang out of the nearest big city. He got arrested a few days later when he got stopped for speeding, the cops searched his car and found the guns. He was only 16.

14. She did think about it.

I was in my mid-20s, working myself to absolute death in a small-town office supply store. I mean, the amount of work I was doing as a department specialist was staggering. I was basically working and running half the store myself, so the store manager didn’t have to – while the assistant manager above me was doing nothing but taking a paycheck, stealing digital cameras, and lying about being a trained ninja, and staff was kept to a minimum to make store numbers look better. I was just straight-up in retail hell.

It’s also important to note that my store manager was an arrogant, incapable asshole two steps from heart failure, who had been shunted to that small-town store just to get him out of the way – twice. They’d had to remove him for a while based on employee and customer complaints, some of them in the vein of sexual harassment. I don’t know how he managed to keep his job.

Anyway, one day, he comes up to me. He’s concerned about my attitude. “Customers love you. You know what you’re doing, you do great work. But as soon as you’re not talking to a customer, your whole attitude changes. You never speak to me with respect or enthusiasm. I can see on your face that you don’t want to be here. I mean, look at me! If you just improved your attitude and wanted to be here, you could be me in a couple years! Think about it!”

So I did. And that night, I went home, applied to go back to school, and quit my job the next day.

13. All for the best, I suppose.

I was roofing and getting paid by the day, after a few months I asked to get paid piece work.

My pay for that week was about double and the boss said he had to put me back to daily rate next week….I said goodbye and started my own business.

12. Middle schoolers, man.

When 8th graders had me crying into my pillow every night and drinking wine every time I could.

I quit teaching and joined a lab.

11. Sometimes people are the worst.

Worked at a pizza place for seven years, and the last two it was getting annoying. The new manager was a jerk, pathological liar and got upset at others for leaving on time when he always left 2-3 hours early from openings.

There were a couple of near-quits, one especially on a very busy morning where I was trying to finish day prep, answer phones and take deliveries. I get back from a double and the boss is at the salad line trying to finish up a salad and there are no black olives, and asks me ‘Are there olives in the fridge?”

I say not yet, haven’t gotten to them yet and he angrily replies “You know it’s your fucking job, right?”

I sigh and he adds “DOn’t take back to me!”

I let it slide.

But the last draw was when my mother passed away.

When she went in to the hospital (30 days before her death), I informed work I would be up there with her anytime they scheduled any sort of procedure. It seemed okay, at first, but now comes a Saturday I had requested off and got scheduled anyway. I was like, fine, whatever… for the week.. but then on Friday I was told my mother was going in for a serious procedure on Saturday, so I told my boss. His reply “You asked for the day off, so you’re just using her as an excuse.”

I replied, “No, but you’re the reason I quit.”

That was that. Mother passed away with in a week and I am grateful I was with her instead of at work.

10. Always check your stubs.

I worked in a bookstore and was about to get a monthly-hour contract instead of just a call-up contract. Everything seemed to go fine, i even called up one of the higher ups to confirm stuff was in order after some discussion about the amount of hours i should be working, until i realized i wasn’t getting any wage decelerations (or whatever they are called) anymore and my paychecks seemed rather low for the amount id been working.

Fast forward a few months later, covid had hit and i wasn’t able to work anymore due to regulations, and i had been sending a mail every week about the paychecks, cause i didn’t get a response. I finally get notice that there was an accident because there was “confusion over my contract”.

I wrote up a quick mail to the higher ups about some questions i had regarding their policy of payment through inability to work and their lack of communication. I was expecting the boss to send me a mail, but after two weeks of nothing, he came by the store while i was working with customers without any indication and asked me what my problems were.

Shaking and angry i quickly listed my issues, and he dismissed all of them. Saying the info was either none of my business or that it was outside of his control and could therefore not do anything. I was flabbergasted, and felt isolated. My manager was willing to help but was scared to speak up to the guy out of fear of losing her job.

I decided to call up a public lawyer, and help me out. A month later i get a mail from the boss still claiming that everything was correct and that he would pay 250 euros to stay hush hush.

I was fuming at this point, and didn’t give in. Two weeks later and i he finally conceded in paying my wages correctly for that half year. Amounting to almost 1500 euros.

I had already written my resignation letter at this point. But boy did it feel good.

Turns out they payed me for about 7 hours less per week for almost four months

9. Hindsight is 20/20.

Got injured on the job to the point I had to be off to recover while receiving physical therapy. Went in one day just in time to have my HR call the physical therapist to tell her they’d canceled my insurance. My physical therapist, to their credit put the phone on speaker to let me hear what was going on.

I’d been with the organization 16 years, had pulled numerous all-nighters, sacrificed events with my family and holidays, vacation time, you name it AND put up with a ton of shit from my boss and her cronies, the grown version of the Mean Girls if you will. According to them I was often the most incompetent lazy terrible person there. I put up with it for way too long, because I loved the clients I worked with and I believed in what we were doing.

But that day was my, “F*ck this sh%t, I’m out,” moment. I cussed HR out over the phone and never set foot in the place again. Not even to pick up my last paycheck, which was all of a measly $10 I’d earned the day I went back to work part-time only to get yelled at for not writing someone else’s press release to their liking.

No regrets except I should have quit sooner. It’s just not worth giving 200% when all you get back is the kind of criticism and backstabbing that makes you cry every night when you go home and cry every morning getting ready for work.

Life is good now.

8. Back in the day.

I was the assistant manager of a local pizza franchise that barely exists anymore (I wonder why!). The manager found a better opportunity somewhere else and left, and the woman they replaced him with was probably one of the dumbest people I’ve ever worked with.

You see, we had this deal at our pizza chain where you always got two pizzas with your order (no it wasn’t Little Ceasars). Basically, all that was offered on the menu was a two for one deal for all pizzas.

Well, we had one older gentleman who was living alone after his wife passed away and he loved our pizza. He came in like twice a week, paid full price but only had us make one pizza for him. He always firmly insisted on paying full price and only taking one pizza.

So he comes in for his usual pizza run on this stupid manager’s second day and I grab his single pizza and hand it to him. She comes flying out of the office and starts yelling at me, “Where is his other pizza?!? Why are you trying to cheat this man?” So I calmly explained to her that this was his usual routine and he even told her he was happy with it.

She flies into an even bigger hissy fit yelling something like “Well that’s not company policy, he’s only allowed to order what’s on the menu, and we don’t make special deals with specific customers.”

I looked at her and said, “You realize we’re saving the company money by only making one pizza, and he’s fine with that, right?”

She screeches, “I don’t care. I’m going to report you for this.”

So I pulled my apron off, threw it in her chest and said, “Don’t bother, I quit. You’re too stupid to work for” and walked out the door with the customer. We had a good laugh about it in the parking lot.

Anyhow, I got a job at Blockbuster video right after that, and that was an infinitely better job in every way.

7. I hope he gets in trouble.

Recently worked for a dentist who was committing all kinds of insurance fraud. Now I’m as honest as they come, and this wasn’t okay with me. Especially knowing my name would be on some of the correspondence.

Add to that, this guy was a complete jackass. He thought nothing of berating me in front of patients. I’ve been doing what I do for a lot longer than him, and that kind of disrespect I won’t tolerate.

I left for lunch, sent a text saying I was done and I went home.

6. We’ll just see about that.

When my boss told me I didn’t have the nerve to quit my job.

Handed my notice in 10 minutes after he said it.

5. The woods are never safe.

Was in a forest with a few friends having some fun being oblivious kids. We had just crossed a small river with a large incline on both sides. We go to the other side and started to walk.

I looked at a tree and stopped (I still have no clue what made me feel like stopping) a guy in full gray clothes stepped out from behind the tree and pulled what looked like a gun from his back. For people that may ask it was just a handgun.

Safe to say me and my friends ran as fast as we could without looking back through the forest crossing the river without caring about the makeshift bridge we built and ran straight through. When we got out I realized how bad that could have been.

4. Good for her.

I was working a particularly awful nursing home as a CNA. I was bullied by some of the other CNAs as well as one terrible nurse. I put up with it for a year and put in my 2w notice. I only told management, not the other staff. On my second to last day there, that nurse decided to scream in my face about some imaginary infraction.

About an hour later I learned that the company that had bought the facility earlier in the year had decided anyone who’d been working there less than a year on the sale date would not get any vacation days. I’d also only be getting half my sick days paid out when I quit. That meant 2.5 days of pay.

And I learned that if I didn’t complete my 2 weeks of notice, I’d forfeit those 2.5 days.

I realized 2.5 days of pay wasn’t worth the abuse I was having to endure and I told the DON at the end of that day that I was never coming back. She tried to talk me into it, but it didn’t work.

3. Never going camping.

My grandpa was born in 1915. When he was a kid sometime in the twenties, him and his grandpa went squirrel hunting in the woods of Kentucky. They were hiking through the woods and found a clearing with a still. They heard from the trees,

“What y’all doin?”

“Just out squirrel hunting”

“Ain’t no squirrels round here”

“Sure ain’t”

They proceeded to swiftly nope the f*ck out of there.

2. Someone has regrets.

Worked for someone who hired her lazy brother-in-law as part of my team. I had to do all the work on my own, but not only did he take credit for my work, he threw me under the bus. (Boss wanted to upgrade the antiquated system we were using, but the lazy BIL said there was nothing wrong with our current system and blamed me for not knowing how to do it right even though I was the one who made it work at all in the first place.)

Boss took his word for it and then told me I should learn how to do it properly under Lazy’s guidance. So I said f*ck this and I turned in my resignation letter the next day. I offered to help train whoever they were gonna hire to replace me. Boss said, “No need. (Lazy) can handle it.”

Okay then.

A couple of months later, I get a text message from my old boss, who has never texted me before, acting like an old friend wanting to catch up before asking me to come back…

1. Why not all three?

Me and my brother were chilling outside a 711 talking to a homeless guy and he offered to take us into an alley and let us try some crack.

Still not sure if he wanted to rob us, let us try his crack, or let us try his crack lmao.

I hope if I’m ever in a similar situation I have as many guts!

Do you have a similar story to add to the list? Please hit us with it in the comments!

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This is How 16 People Immediately Lost Interest in Their Crush

Relationships are really hard. Finding people you like to begin with might be even harder, and those first days and weeks, when no one is super invested, are always tricky.

One little thing can be enough to tip the scales in your favor – or not – and these 16 people found they just couldn’t go on after the rose-colored glasses came off.

16. Ew, too much.

Sent me a snap chat of them on the shi**er.

Then said “what? you dont like my poop selfies?”

I had only matched with them on tinder like 5 days before.

15. She’ll always put herself first.

They asked me to take credit for a car accident they caused. I was sitting in the backseat, with another friend of mine, and she turned around to talk to the friend, while putting her foot on the gas; she rear-ended the car in front of her.

I was the only other person in the car with a license and she panicked. She asked me to quickly get in the drivers seat so the woman whose car got hit would think I hit her. I didn’t hate her for it or anything, but something like that really kills feelings.

14. Who does that?

Spit on the ground at the pool. Ain’t nobody got time to step in swimmer goop.

13. What a jerk.

Told me to get my toes “fixed”. Two toes on each foot are HALF webbed. I like them at think they make me look cool and different without being weird or gross.

I was gonna give the guy a bj after we went swimming but sitting by the pool and hearing his opinion of my toes absolutely killed anything I felt. I just told him to leave & that was the end of it.

12. That’s not okay.

Kept squirming his tongue randomly like he was licking something.

11. Suck it up, indeed.

Wore a mesh mask at a place where masks were mandatory.

I don’t like masks either but either suck it up or don’t go places where they’re required.

10. We could all keep going. Sadly.

Would drift while I was in the car because he knew it scared me. He also made me feel like a complete idiot all the time.

Different guy: laughed when I told him how I had been stalked in middle school. Instant nope from me. (He, somewhat unsurprisingly, proceeded to stalk me.)

Guy #3: I heard and saw the way he talked to/treated his mom. If he can’t show the woman who birthed him basic respect, I doubted he would have much for me down the road.

I could keep going, but I think that’s enough for now.

9. When you know, you know.

One of my ex boyfriends yelled at the waitress because she brought out our food and his entree was touching the side dish on his plate.

I was already thinking about ending things, but that accelerated our breakup and I dumped him that same night.

8. Yes, vaping too.

Usually, smoking.

With very few exception.

7. Horrible human.

Said, without knowing it applied to me, that people like me deserved to be rounded up and killed.

6. So many red flags.

Two immediately come to mind.

First was a guy I dated who was great until I heard him make jokes about disabled people and also say the n-word (he’s very white).

Second was a girl who told me that she and her friends go to restaurants and stores and try to be as loud, annoying, rude, and disruptive as they can until they get kicked out. They apparently literally go to the mall and try to get kicked out of as many stores as possible. I don’t have time for people who needlessly bother and disrespect workers like that.

5. That’ll do it.

We talked some politics.

He said, “Trump loves America and pu*sy, so how could I not love him too?”

Attraction gone.

4. Grounds for execution.

Went into the work fridge, shook up a random soda can and laughed uncontrollably for a few seconds and said whoops.

3. My nose is wrinkled so hard.

This very handsome guy I worked with had slept with someone else we worked with. She wasn’t well liked, so I guess he didn’t want people to know about it, but she told everyone (and showed me texts between them, so I knew she was telling the truth), so he would talk s**t about her constantly. He would say some truly awful things about her and it turned me off of him so bad that i just tried to avoid him.

If you’re gonna sleep with someone you work with, you should be on the same page as far as telling other people. And if you don’t make that clear with the other person, don’t try to cover your a$s by being a disgusting jerk.

2. I bet she was surprised.

in my early 20s, dated a girl for a couple of months. One day we were walking around a mall and I mentioned there was something I liked. A little while later she “presented” me with a present.

It was a silver bracelet (the item I was admiring)… asked her when she bought it and she replied “I didn’t, I stole it”. I looked at her and asked “for real”? She said “yep”, I told her to take it back and that I didn’t want to see her anymore.

Too bad, she was a cute girl.

1.  Well, that’s awkward.

Found out she had a boyfriend. Gave up because I’m not an a**hole and her bf was my friend.

I’m so glad dating is not my thing anymore.

Now I just have to live with the consequences of my own choices. Easy enough.

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Sailors Share All the Crazy Stuff They’ve Seen at Sea

Sailing sounds very romantic or very awful, depending on your affinity for the sea.

Regardless of whether or not you’d actually go get your own sea legs, you’ve got to be at least a little bit curious about what’s out there, right?

I know I am, and these 13 stories from sailors really deliver.

13. I think I would have left, too.

Off the coast of Mombassa – a super pod of dolphins stretching as far as I could see in all 4 directions.

Porpoising like mad – hauling a**.

Chasing sardines or outrunning orcas.

12. Ghost ship?

A good friend of mine captains a beautiful Sportfish boat for his boss. Spends its winters in Florida and summers in New York. I usually fly down in the spring to FL to give a hand running it back north and we always have a ton of fun and fish on the way. One night on the journey we decide to keep steaming through the night to get to a spot we wanted to fish at first light the next morning. Probably ~100 miles offshore so there’s basically nobody around.

Little about the boat, absolute beast. Radar, AIS for ship tracking and info from other craft with AIS, FLIR night vision camera, depth Sounders…….literally every gadget to keep you safe even on the darkest of nights….

So we’re cruising along in absolute PITCH black night, just cruising 12-15 knots with every electronic on. Now, If you’ve never been offshore at night, you don’t know true black night. There’s nothing, like nothing. Spot lights, LED panels……you can see the waves a few feet in front of the boat and that’s it….we always have at least 2 guys up, one on the wheel and one keeping an eye on the electronics. So, somewhere off the Carolinas, we pick something up on radar….definitely a large boat. We had the range at like 10 miles on the machine, so we should definitely see this thing by now…..a guy could light up a smoke 5 miles away and you’ll see the lighter (THAT dark). But……nothing. No AIS readout on it so it’s not broadcasting its info. We keep getting closer and closer, miles counting down, blip getting bigger on the radar screen….still, nothing. Now we’re within a mile of this thing (whatever the F it could possibly be) and we have all eyes up top……..

Literally out of the most insane darkness is this broadside fucking NAVY SHIP. Absolutely massive. Not a single light on. Not a single person out on any of the decks. Just there. Floating. It creeped me so far the f*ck out.

11. What a way to go.

Got roped into sea trials for an aircraft carrier several years back when I worked for Huntington-Ingalls.

Couldn’t sleep one night and decided to go up to the flattop in the middle of the night to get some fresh air. It was eerily quiet and the water had this odd obsidian black mirror sheen. Kinda hypnotic.

Dunno how long I stood there but apparently it was long enough to warrant a roving watch to get my attention and escort me back below.

Got chewed out by my supervisor the following morning when he found out; turns out a lot of civvies and sailors over the years have fallen/”fallen” into the sea at night.

10. Stop playing with your dinghy!

Seamen jumping overboard to capture their dinghy which somehow got away from the ship.

9. That’s a mystery.

We found a human finger in a sea chest (basically a filter for sea water that’s used to cool fresh water etc).

The thing is though it must’ve been pulled in when deep at sea because the chest was cleaned every 2-4 weeks and we’d been deep Sea for 6 weeks at that point.

Was creepy and we reported it but nothing came of it.

8. So many questions!

I was in a cruise boat and we were chugging along the very busy waterways of Shanghai approaching the area where the Huangpu river joins the Yangtze.

The waterway is colossal and one of the busiest shipping routes, with traffic heading in all directions which creates a lot of large swells.

I looked over the edge and down about fifty feet away and there is a man, he was sitting precariously cross legged paddling along on a door.

7. I like this guy.

I wouldn’t say anything I saw was particularly strange. But maybe my standard for “strange” is a little skewed.

I saw a lot of wonderful things though, like massive schools of giant manta rays feeding in the bay, clouds of mayflies dying by the millions on our bow, sea birds in the absolute middle of nowhere, and the best view I’ve ever had of the milky way.

There were also some odd and funny things that were usually products of civilization more than anything, like giant cat fish eating our cooked sewage as we pumped it over the side, people boating in the shipping lanes on rafts made of garbage, and sailing through what looked like a post-apocalyptic hellscape while riders tried desperately to con the crew out of everything we owned. The most ridiculous thing I saw was using a 1000ft ro-ro to go trawling for tuna, while staying close enough to land to be able to pick up the playoffs for the captain.

Sailing is weird, and while there are some truly awesome sights like Saint Elmo’s fire and the like, the vast majority of the strange stuff you run into is just part of civilisation.

Edit: my buddy says “if you’re talking about sailors, there’s nothing strange to me anymore. Sailors have a reputation as weirdos for good reason. As far as everything else out there, it’s classified.”

6. A nightmare tour.

I’m not a sailor but one time I went on a glass bottom boat tour. The captain accidentally went the wrong way to come back in and took us out to sea. There were maybe 60 people staring down threw the glass bottom in a 3 foot swells.

Didn’t take long before people starting throwing up. Id say about 40 people puked on the glass. It was a nightmare. Barf sloshing around. Everyone moaning, kids crying, women screaming.

It was f*cking terrifying and disgusting. It was traumatic. I’ll always remember that

5. What happened down there?

A bunch of us were smoking on the starboard fuel deck, and we saw the front half of a shark float aft.

Like, cleanly cut, from about 4 inches behind the dorsal fin.

Conversations went kind of quiet as about 45 people just stared at it and wondered about ocean madness.

Good times!

4. Kinda spooky is wild.

Found this odd if not strange when I started sailing. On ships we can have days which are more or less than 24 hours.On multi day voyages clocks are advanced as we travel east and retarded as we travel west to adjust with local time.

The wall clock in our cabins were analog but the advancement or retardation was automated by some mechanism. For an hour of retardation the minute hand would smoothly glide anti-clockwise a full circle.

This was usually done at mid night. Kinda looked spooky if you were awake.

3. Everyone has to scratch that itch.

Was on bow watch on the tall ship Bounty back in 1997 sailing down the St Lawrence when the ship shuddered to the side by like 2 feet.

Looked over the railing to see a 65 foot Right Whale scratching it’s back on the side of our boat. I was about 10 feet from it and at 6’7″ I felt incredibly small.

Only time in my life I was completely speechless

2. Ah, the joys of the sea.

Not a sailor per se but I spent a couple of years recreationally sailing in the Gulf of Mexico. I rarely spent the night out on the boat, but was out almost every day. I was out one evening with a friend who was visiting.

I want to say it was between 10pm-11pm and the boat started violently rocking back and forth for a few seconds, even though waters were pretty calm. We can’t really see much but we saw these three really dark and large shapes swim underneath the boat.

Scared the sweet Jesus out of us, we definitely felt for a second that we were going to capsize and then likely die.

1. The hazing will be brutal.

A glowing iceberg.

I was on the bridge at night, it was getting fairly foggy out so we had to be extra vigilant. I started to see this little light on the horizon. I knew it wasn’t another ship or shore light because we were in the middle of the Arctic Ocean with no land for miles. I wanted to get a better visual on it so I didn’t report it right away. As time went on I could see this light getting bigger and it was looking pretty…. icebergy.

So as weird as it was to me; I reported it to my officer of the watch stating that it was a “glowing iceberg”.

Super confused he took a look in and what he told me….I will never live it down.

…it was the moon. I reported the moon.

How utterly fascinating!

If you’ve seen something super cool out on the water, please share the story with us in the comments.

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Terrifying Incidents That Happened in Broad Daylight

When we think about scary events, we often picture them happening in the dead of night. Maybe the person is somewhere they shouldn’t have been, or they made some choices that made it easier for the bad thing to find them.

We know that’s not true (right?). Bad things can happen any time, to any one – even people who have done everything “right” as far as keeping safe.

These 15 people’s stories are all the proof we need.

15. Glad Mom was there.

Almost drowned as a 6 year old in a populated adult pool.

I was floundering for what felt like a minute, quickly loosing breath and swallowing water.

No around me heard my gargled cries. No one helped.

Thank god my mother pulled me out before it was too late.

And that’s how i developed my fear of water.

14. So not ok.

I was 18 or 19 and picking up a prescription at the pharmacy. While I was waiting in line, a man (who I guess was waiting in line as well) started taking pictures of my feet with his cell phone. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle, just kind of bent over and aimed his phone at my feet. I moved a few feet away and he just followed me.

The pharmacist saw the whole thing and mouthed “do you know him?” I shook my head with my eyes wide, grabbed my prescription and bolted away from the counter. I hid in the store until I saw him leave and drive off because I was afraid he might follow me.

Maybe not terrifying, but definitely unnerving and creepy. Still creeps me out thinking about it.

13. That’s a rough ten seconds.

Sixteen, female fresh out from school for the day.

Take bus home and am standing next to a kid who felt like wearing all red. Car pulls up and a guy in the backseat has a handgun.

Points it at the kid in the red but I knew more or less everyone at the bus stop was going to get shot because some dumba** wanted to wear gang-affiliated colors.

Light turns green and the driver goes and I’m left reeling with the whole “what if” scenarios for a few days.

12. More people should do something.

A friend and I had just ridden our wave boards like nerds from the engineering dorm down into the public square (Red Square at UW, we rode down nonstop from McCarty hall) and were sitting on the library steps watching the sunset. Across the way near the smoke stacks, we saw a couple yelling at one another really exaggeratedly. The guy then grabbed the girl and started hauling her about. We were amused, as we thought they were just play fighting – there was a large group of students sitting right next to them watching and doing nothing either. Nothing seemed wrong until he threw her to the ground, and started dragging her towards the stairwell leading to the parking garage.

During this time, a group of five girls left the garage and walked past. The girl, still being forcibly dragged, pleaded to them, “Please help me!” – we could hear her clearly from across the square. The girls looked and did nothing, and kept walking. Nobody on the stairs moved, either. They just watched. My friend and I got up and started walking quickly towards them, but they disappeared into the stairwell before we got halfway across. There, we intercepted the girls who had passed them.

“Did you see that?” they were asking amongst themselves, worriedly. I glared at them for not stopping.

I sent my friend into Odegaard library to have the help desk call the campus police. While he did that I went into the stairwell and headed down the steps, all the while hearing the girl screaming while the guy kept hitting her and shouting at her.

I got to the bottom platform, passing two people on their way up. One was joking about how it looked like the guy was going to kill his girlfriend. They were amused and unconcerned, and ignored me.

The bottom platform has double-swinging doors that lead to a smaller room with an elevator, and then more doors leading directly into the garage. The guy and girl were in this room, and I was in the stairwell just outside. I waited there for campus police while the guy kept yelling and the girl kept crying. After about thirty seconds, he hit her again, and hefted my wave board, kicked the door open and shouted (rather lamely) “STOP IT OR I’LL HIT YOU!”

The girl took this opportunity to break free and run up the stairs. The guy (taller and more muscular than me, whoops) looked surprised as well but didn’t move, he saw my club-like board and gave up immediately. He tried to explain that his girlfriend was threatening to have him deported (he was in the US illegally past his visa or something) and he was trying to blackmail him or something of the sort. I held him there for a few minutes waiting for campus police, but they still didn’t show up. I finally told him to get on the elevator and to stay away from the girl, and that I’d beat the shit out of him if I saw him doing that again. He scrammed.

Went outside and saw my friend waiting. He said the front desk at the library wasn’t willing to call the campus police, and when he finally relented and called, they said they would send a unit out. We waited about an hour and nobody showed up.

11. Can’t give up a girl like that.

I was a Senior in High School and was dropping my girlfriend off at her house. She lived in a pretty ghetto area, and I was from the “nice” part of town. As I was saying bye to her, her neighbor from across the street walked over to us and started yelling at me.

This guy was our age and I guess she knew him as well. He started yelling at me for some reason, so I started walking towards him to do who knows what, when he said “I have a gun and I’m gonna fucking kill you”. At this I just stop in my tracks trying to determine if he’s being serious.

And then my girlfriend stalks past me, walks up to him and slaps him in the face as hard as she can and yells “get the f*ck out of here Junior and go home!”.

I stood there thinking “Holy sh%t, she just owned that guy”. That was 15 years ago and we’re now expecting our third kid ?

10. Talk about an overreaction.

My dog and I are stopped at a crosswalk and he barks and scares this woman. As soon as he barked the walk dude came up to cross but the lady started yelling about my needing to control my dog and she pulled out a taser.

I’m just trying to get across the street and she starts making even a bigger scene saying how she’s going to shock me. My dog is barking at the crazy lady we are standing in the street now, at a busy intersection and I thought to myself I’m about to get tased in front of all these people.

9. This hurts my heart.

When I was in 5th grade, I had a seizure in the middle of class. When I woke up on the floor, kids were running around me and laughing, and the teacher was yelling at me to get back in my desk and stop trying to get attention.

Everything hurt and I was completely out of it for the rest of the day, and I didn’t understand anything about what happened, or just how big of a shitlord the teacher was, until a couple of years later.

8. All too common.

A couple of years ago I was jogging in the centre of my town as usual, when I realized I was being followed by some guy I had never seen.

He kept trying to talk to me, and at some point he grabbed me from behind and went full molester on me. I shook free then started screaming, knocking on the hood of a car passing by. He ran away, never to be found.

I couldn’t jog for over a year.

7. What a complete creep.

Recently went to Dolphin Cove to take care of my number one bucket list item, swim with sharks. I went with my best friend. Her and I are in our 40’s and cute enough in our own right. Our shark trainer flirted with us but we thought nothing of it.

Once we were in the water, we had to sit on a bench. He maneuvered the shark on our lap. Part of the program was the trainer guiding our hands to feel the shark. He put both of our hands on his very erect penis. We again kind of blew it off thinking it was an accident.

Then he told us to spread our legs so we could hold and balance the shark on our legs. He slid his hand up our thighs and got his fingers under both of our bottoms before we stopped him.

We both felt violated and it ruined my very top bucket list item experience for me. It horrifies and frightens me to think of how often he’s done that with other women and kids.

6. I think I would have said something.

As a young teenager, in the early 90s I went to a slightly low-rent amusement park on a school trip. They had some rides, nothing like the huge ones at premium parks, but there was a reasonable looking rollercoaster – with a full loop and a corkscrew-style part (I’m sure there’s a bunch of terminology I don’t know about rides, so don’t mind me).

My group of friends all decided to give it a try. I’d never been on one, so while I was a bit scared, it looked pretty cool, so why not? Our group all get on at the same time, talking and bullshitting each other in the way excited kids do.

The cars start moving backwards up a slope. Once it gets to near the top, the cars would release and go down the track. We’re still moving up the slope and I look across at my friend and his restraint is down. Mine isn’t. Oh shit.

I panic naturally. We must be over a hundred feet up, on a 45′ slope. There’s nothing I can do to get off and it can’t be too long until the cars will drop. I grab my restraint and pull it down across my chest. I think it locks into place, but now the cars drop.

I can’t do a fucking thing except hold on. The speed pins me into my seat, and while I don’t think I’d come out in the corkscrew part, here comes the loop. As I pass the top of the loop I feel the cars slow just a little. My knuckles must have been transparent, they were gripping the edge of my seat so hard in a vain attempt to hold my upside-down ass in the seat…

We exit the loop and go up another slope to then reverse the track direction. As it slows I can just about prise my hands from the seat to check my restraint and it felt secure. Naturally I didn’t quite trust it and I gripped my seat all the way back through the course.

I got off the ride in a daze and never said a thing about it.

5. Don’t go after a guy’s mama.

A few things come to mind but this is the biggest one for me…a few years ago I was at the local mall, outside waiting for my mom to get there. I see her car pull up, and she turns around and goes to park. Parking is accomplished without incident. She’s maybe 50 feet away from me. She gets out of the car, and some car drives up into that row of parking about 10 seconds after she finishes parking.

This guy (maybe 45) gets out of his car and starts yelling at my mom for “stealing his parking” (even though he wasn’t anywhere near her when she was parking), calling her some nasty sh%t, and says that if this were his country that “she’d be dead for crossing a man.” Anyways, my mom had parked fair and square.

After he starts throwing this sh%t at her, his relative gets out and also starts yelling at her. I’m a large person (6’1, 230 lbs and I have a lot of muscle but some extra chub too cuz I’m too lazy to diet perfectly and my wife likes it….that’ll be my excuse), but I HATE fighting and violence.

Regardless, I run towards them and my mind goes into warrior mode. This guy was getting uncomfortably close to my mom, so I bark some obscene stuff at him and act like a caveman in heat fighting a sabertooth and the guy actually screamed like a child and fell backwards over his car and begs me not to cut him (I didn’t even have a knife or anything on me).

I tell him that respecting women is both important and honorable and asked him to apologize, and then he drove off. Adrenaline was going crazy and my heart was pounding but my mommy dearest is safe and hopefully d*ckwad learned his lesson.

4. It happens every day.

Walking back from lunch to my office. I work in a urban area but it usually is safe to walk. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw someone following me. Didn’t think too much about it but picked up my pace a little.

I had to stop at the crosswalk and the person behind me catches up and I feel something on my back and he tells me to make a left turn. I turn into the next street and he asks me for all the money in my wallet. I gave it to him and he bolted past me.

It had to be no later than 1:00 PM and I got mugged right in broad daylight.

3. Funny as long as it didn’t happen to you.

Im a little late to this party but here goes. I was on a 300 mile ride on my motorcycle when I stopped for gas at a sketchy gas station. While I’m stopped this homeless guy in a puffy ratty fur jacket and a flava flav style Viking hat rides up on his bicycle with a milk crate for a basket and a home made trailer.

He rings the bell on his handle bar and tells me I have a nice bike as I’m walking in to pay. I say “thanks you too bud” and he charges at me on foot and pushes me, from behind, hard and says “no man I said you have a niiiiiiiiceeeeeeee biiiiiiiiiikkkeee”.

Im freakin out now cuz this dude looks high as hell on something hard and, though I’m not a small dude, I’ve heard drugs make ya fight hella crazy.

So I push this guy to the ground and yell for him to BTFU and he gets up, adjusts his hat and says “this is what you wear when you wanna sing immigrant song by Led Zepplin….. AHHHHHHH-AHH-AHHHHHHHHHHHH-AHHHHHHH!!!!!” then he runs to his bike like a mad man and rides off.

Most terrifying and hilarious thing to every happen to me

Tldr; cranked out homeless dude attacked me in a parking lot. May have been Robert Plant.

2. Hate to think he’s still out there.

I’m a 20-something lady. I was heading home from the gym (tired) dressed elegantly (on my way from work) along a large, well-lit street. About a block from my house, a man first tried to catch my attention and then to grab me and pull towards the bushes on one side of the sidewalk, having already partly removed his pants.

I screamed bloody murder and ran home. After calling the police and describing the attacker, they asked what I was wearing. I was going to get mad, but it turned out he matched the description of a local pedophile suspect that preys on young girls form the nearby school. I was wearing a rather girly navy blue skirt with a white shirt that day.

He was never arrested.

1. This is quite a ride.

I had a friend with primary-progressive MS. He got sick early, too. Only 35. As it progressed to the point that he started relying on a cane (and some days a walker) to get around, you can imagine how he changed. I say this not as excuse for what he did, but so you can understand how anger and depression can make a person behave differently than they had before. By this time, he was not the same man I befriended. I still cared for him and wished him will, but we stopped hanging out after that because his attitude was too terrible.

One evening, we’re sitting around in a bowling alley bar. My friend’s girlfriend is setting up a Karaoke show, and the sun hasn’t even gone down yet. It’s 8:30 at night. Three guys come in and hassle her about wanting to sing now. She tells them it won’t start for an hour. They hassle her some more, then wander off. They bowl, the place starts to gain some customers, the lights in the bar get turned on to balance out “cosmic bowling”. Then these three guys wander back in at about 10. They want to sing.

They get mad when she didn’t remember the songs they’d shouted at her earlier while screwing with her microphones. They get mad again when they’re told they have to fill out the little slips and wait their turn like everybody else. They get mad a third time when she won’t take five dollars to let them go next. By now, our entire group of friends were there and celebrating a birthday. (We are not cool.)

The guys wander away again, then almost get skipped over before showing up to do their turn half an hour later. As they pick up the mics, they shout “WE BETTER GET TWO SONGS FOR MAKING US WAIT, TOO.” into them, causing feedback and a lot of angry people. She tells them “one song. Everybody gets a chance to sing.” It devolves into a full blown argument between them.

My friend, who is having a walker day, gets up to go defend his girlfriend, and in the middle of the shouting, the whole room distinctly hears my friend say “And if a bunch of niggers think they can intimidate my girlfriend…” He trails off as he realizes that the entire bar, and indeed a big chunk of the bowling alley have gone silent.

These guys aren’t about to (and shouldn’t) take that shit, but it didn’t have to go down the way it did. All of a sudden, he’s trying to back away (with his walker) from these three guys who are all twice his size while he apologizes. They’re screaming at him about how he’s a “crippled cracker” and they’re going to make sure he needs a wheelchair if he lives through this and his girlfriend can use the walker after they break her legs too.

Too far. They didn’t have to accept the apology, and if one of them had just punched him, I’d of said that’s fair and he deserved it. But we couldn’t let them do what they were threatening. Next thing I know, two of our friends and I have stood up and I’ve shouted “That’s enough.” Next thing I know, they’re in our faces. One of my friends is just trying to negotiate our way out of it. The other is making threats. I’m just standing there trying not to lose my game face because I’m terrified as fuck of this 350+ pound 6’6″ mountain of a person who’s picked me to square up with.

I manage to duck under the punch he throws at me, and somehow end up behind him. Desperately, I somehow end up with this guy in a full nelson. Except I’m 145 pounds and 5’8″. At this point, I’m this guy’s new cape. He starts swinging around wildly screaming “get him off! Get him off!” The entire room has gone from fear and agression to amusement. I hear people start to laugh. One of his buddies grabs me by the back of the shirt and shoves me away. I stumble, trip over something, and break my nose on the corner of a table. I can’t even claim a decently taken punch to the face.

The Mountain walks over to me. I’m now laying on the ground with blood gushing out of my face. He leans right down over me and shouts “Stay down!” Then he looks at me for a second, points a finger in my face, and says “I get it. You gotta stand up for your boy. What you really gotta do is pick better boys, or educate yours.” Then the waved finger turns into an extended hand and he helps me to my feet. Bartender grabs me a rag, and we all get kicked out together.

When the cops showed up and found us all (except loudmouth) sitting outside congenially, they agreed to let us all go on our way (and drive me to the hospital), if we all agreed to drop the matter. My friend wanted charges pressed against all three and was threatening to sue the bar too. He backed down when I told him I’d break his nose to match mine if he did anything of the sort. It was the scariest moment of my entire life, and the only reason I lived was because The Mountain showed me mercy. This fucker wanted to bankrupt me in lawyer’s fees after that?

That was eleven years ago. I only saw my friend twice after that. Once at a bar, and once at his funeral. I miss the man he was before the MS. I don’t miss the angry, depressed man he became.

I’m legit horrified and promise to be safer in the future, Mom.

If you’ve got a story that would fit on this list, drop it in the comments.

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People Share Stories About When Someone Challenged Them at Something They Were an Expert At

Have you ever bit off more than you can chew? If so, you know that it’s never a good feeling when a person who is highly skilled at one specific thing rubs it in your face and makes you look like an idiot in front of a group of people?

Or, maybe the opposite thing happened and YOU were the one who was an expert at something and you got to throw it in someone’s face?

Do these situations sound familiar?

Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say.

1. Didn’t see that coming.

“Medieval Faire, 2002.

Carnie running the fencing game picks me out of the crowd for being tall, and challenges me to a free bout against “The Master”.

Not a lot of people fence, so his gambit probably worked most of the time, but when he handed me that saber, I handed him his *ss.”

2. See you on the court.

“A guy from work challenged me to a tennis match.

He must’ve been a hotshot back in his day and tbf as far as mid 40’s go he wasn’t bad.

I however was national team, whooped his *ss 6-0, 6-0. I would’ve eased up but when I warned him I’m pretty good, he laughed it off.”

3. Movie buff.

“Went to a couples night once and the guy had wall to wall movies and framed posters in his basement, super into it.

Mentioned I used to be a movie nerd but not so much anymore. He challenged us to a movie trivia board game, kinda in a condescending way and I tried to politely decline but my gf insisted we play.

They went first, missed the question then we ran the table. Never heard from them again.”

4. Chess match.

“I’ve played chess since I was young and was the best player in the middle school chess club.

The guy who owned the pool hall me and my juvenile delinquent friends hung out at was talking about how dumb kids are these days and said nobody in my group of hoodlums could play chess.

I beat him soundly, then again in the rematch.”

5. Pitch perfect.

“I have perfect pitch.

It’s not a thing I can turn off, notes simply ARE a pitch clear as day, much like how red is clearly distinct from green.

Any who, music class in junior high. Teacher explains that Mozart had perfect pitch and walks over to the piano, plays a note and says “and just by hearing it, he’d be able to tell you what now that was… now can any of YOU do that?”

At the time, I honestly had no idea this was rare. Raise hand, teacher with a smug look points and me and is gobsmacked when I answer correctly with note and octave. Figures it’s pure luck so does it again and asks me to face the other way. I answer correctly again.

Tries it with chords, sequences and two hands worth of notes. Still right every time. Ends with me playing back a short sequence after listening to it blind.

That day, I learned that perfect pitch is actually kind of rare.”

6. Showed him.

“My father in law challenged me about the capabilities of DVD. Specifically he claimed that you could only have widescreen video (not 4:3) on a DVD disc.

At the time I was employed as a DVD author. I authored the very first commercially available feature on Scenarist. I am literally acknowledged in the first edition of “DVD Demystified” as an expert. I had already by that time personally authored literally hundreds of DVD’s with 4:3 video.

He knew all of the above at the time, yet still insisted I was wrong.”

7. Don’t even try.

“For most of 2020 so far.

I am an infectious disease expert (PhD from a Microbiology and Immunology program) and suddenly all my former high school classmates think they know more than me.

They watch the news and learn a new vocabulary, and they bestow themselves a doctorate.”

8. Big-time gamer.

“I used to play fighting games competitively all over the world. Never made one of the top slots but I could usually hold my own. One of my best game was Super Street Fighter 2.

Went to a bar by work one day and they just so happened to have an SNES set up with SF2. I order a drink, pick random characters and just f*ck around for a bit. Some guy comes in and immediately starts bragging to his date that he’s the best SF2 player ever.

I asked him to play some games against me and offered to buy him a drink if he could beat 2 out of 3. Twelve games later I am completed hammered and he finally gives up and leaves.

Still don’t remember getting home that night.”

9. I bet this happens all the time.

“So it’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving a few years ago and I’m out with one of my old college friends and her extended family. We had just graduated the year before.

We post up at a bar outside for the game, everyone’s pleasantly mid-afternoon buzzed. Her uncle, whom I hadn’t met previously, asked what I do. I hated answering this question in 2017, especially with middle-aged adults, because they would invariably try to start something.

At the time, I worked at an immigration law firm. Predictably, as soon as I tell him this, he asks what I think about the wall, etc. I give him my usual answer “bipartisan immigration reform, Gang of Eight, etc.” He tells me not to give him the rehearsed crap, he wants to hear what I really think. I say Oh I don’t really want to get into it, let’s enjoy the game.”

But he keeps pushing and I’ve had a couple beers, so against my better judgment, I engage. This maybe 50 year old man becomes FURIOUS as the discussion carries on because I keep citing court cases and how our immigration system actually works.

The kicker is at one point he says “Just because you have all these statistics and citations doesn’t mean you know any better than me.” I just gave up and got another beer after that.”

10. Let me show you how it’s done.

“Not me but my friend used to ride a unicycle as a kid. He worked construction and they were working at a house that had an old unicycle

The other workers tried riding it and immediately fell off. My friend walked over to it and inspected the unicycle like it was the first time he ever saw one them said it didn’t look that difficult.

They all laughed at him and he said he thought he could ride it. Eventually one of them bet him $100 he couldn’t ride it. He jumped on it and immediately rode down the street.”

11. Duel.

“When we were having a couple drinks on friday after work, I was challenged to a shooting, by a colleague. Little did he know I’ve been shooting air rifles competitively ever since I was thirteen.

Not to say I am the greatest, but I’ve made it to the national finals for my country multiple times, and came third and sixth. I have all the special clothes and gear and such you need to make it to such a level.

The next day, saturday, we showed up to the range i always shoot at. Its not a day I usually train so not many people recognize me. I beat his *ss left right and center that day. Out of 600 points, he scored about 200-250 if i remember correctly. I got about 580 which was about average of what I used to shoot.

He had to buy me a fancy bottle of whisky and now we shoot every two or three weeks together. Fun times.”

12. It works.

“Far from an expert. Far from proficient.

But I’ve been told Jiu Jitsu doesn’t work by several froggy drunk dudes.

It works. It always works.”

13. Don’t mess with me.

“The property management company for my homeowner’s association insisted that I had received emails that I never received. So I asked them to prove that I had received them. They said they’re sure I received them.

I’m a software engineer and at the time I had just finished an enterprise email delivery system (like an in-house Constant Contact). I knew the rules of the CAN-SPAM Act by heart. I KNEW exactly how their system worked.

So this real b*tch of a property manager said “I know how email works. You wouldn’t understand.” I mentally did the arrogant knuckle crack and started to explain – very methodically – how email delivery works and how they’d track various actions.

I spent about five minutes detailing my credentials and why I was absolutely certain they had never sent me the emails they alleged I received. When I was finished, the HOA board just agreed to waive the fines.”

Has something like this ever happened to you?

If so, please tell us about it in the comments.

Thanks a lot!

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People Talk About Weird Quirks Their Bodies Have

We all have weird quirks with our bodies.

Some of us are double-jointed, some of us have webbed toes, and others have birthmarks that look like Elvis.

The possibilities are endless!

But they’re all unique in special in their own way…and also kind of weird.

Let’s get weird with some folks on AskReddit.

1. Blurred vision.

“I can blur my vision at will.

Apparently some people can and some can’t. Means we can see those 3D eye puzzles immediately by just changing our vision. Has something to do with depth of focus.

Also great for watching horror movies or graphic scenes. Looks like I’m watching but everything is blurred. It’s like a visual censor switch.”

2. Check this out.

“My spine is about 2 inches to the left of where it should be in my lower back.

Cool party trick.”

3. Interesting…

“I only sweat on one side of my face and have a green eye and a blue one.

It’s called Horner’s syndrome, had it since birth.”

4. A new thing.

“Several years ago I underwent bariatric surgery.

Ever since shortly after I eat I peel off a series of strong sneezes.

Apparently it’s called “gustatory rhinitis”. Never had that pre-surgery.”

5. Are you human?

“I can spread all of my toes out really far from each other, with none of them touching at all.

It sounds insignificant, but every person I show ends up giving me a big reaction.”

6. Some eye issues.

“My eyes are not level.

Makes sunglasses look crooked and hard to trim sideburns evenly.

Also my right eye tear duct weeps sometimes.”

7. To the right.

“My head is tilted to the right (by default lol not that I can’t tilt it to the other side, it’s just my normal resting position).

My parents told me that’s how it’s been since I was a baby. No problems with bones or muscles as they’ve had it checked for years.

Doctors say it might be caused by a muscle in my eye which makes me tilt my head to see lines as straight.

I’ve never met anyone with the same case.”

8. Thumbs.

“I was born with an extra thumb on my right hand.

Unfortunately it was removed because it wasn’t functional and hindered the other thumb, but the remaining thumb is very strangely shaped and has a gnarly scar.

It’s also mostly not functional.”

9. You’re lucky!

“I can eat anything I want and I don’t really seem to gain weight or get fat.

I’m almost 40, still eating donuts and pizza whenever I want, still crushing bags of candies and chips every night and still have a 6 pack and look better now than I did when I was in the gym 4-5 days a week in my 20’s. My body seems to have learned how to process junk food like it’s clean protein.

People think it’s odd and make comments about it pretty often when they see me eat. I get a kick out of their confusion and curiosity. My BIL’s professional medical opinion is that I have a false leg.

All my blood work comes back great on an annual basis too.”

10. Like a superpower.

“I heal surprisingly fast.

Wipe out on skateboard and get nasty, deep scrapes? Gone with a scar in a week or two.

Cut my finger? Fold the skin back over, don’t touch it, healed overnight”

11. Ahhhhh!

“I was born without a uvula and I can spit out of my nose through a hole in the front of my mouth.”

12. That’s annoying.

“I aggressively sneeze during and after every hot shower for at least 45 minutes straight.

It’s horrible.”

13. Crackin’ and poppin’.

“All of my joints crack, pop and grind.

I sound like a glowstick all the time, especially if I’ve been sitting for more than ten minutes.”

14. Pitch black.

“I have really good eyesight in the dark, like I couldn’t read a book in pitch darkness but I could see stuff.

It p*sses my fiancée off as I’ll walk into a room at night and everything’s pretty much visible so I don’t turn a light on.

If we’re going to bed and I do this she then follows expecting me to have turned the lamp on but nope because I think it’s pretty light still and then she ends up tripping over something because apparently it’s really dark ?”

15. Unusual.

“I can sleep while standing up.

I found this out during a summer bridge program I went to the summer before I started college. The counselors told us to stand up in the back if we ever got tired during class.

Little did I know just how tired I was going to get.”

Does your body have any odd quirks?

If so, please tell us about them in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

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People Discuss the Worst Financial Decisions They’ve Seen Folks Make

I hate these kinds of stories.

I’m talking about the ones where people blow all their hard-earned money either through a scam, recklessness, or just plain bad luck. And, sadly, it happens all the time.

AskReddit users talked about the worst financial decisions they’ve ever seen.

1. Ouch!

“A private company announced a special dividend to all shareholders as of date of record one-month in the future. $1.30/share dividend.

There was an option holder with 300,000 options at a $0.10 strike price.

He did not exercise them. Had he exercised his options for $30,000, he would have been paid $390,000 the following month.”

2. Some people…

“I used to work for a company with an actuarial Department. There was a lovely young woman working in the call center with a masters degree in data science.

She was constantly talking about how frustrated she was with making $16/hour in a call center when she had a masters degree in data science, yet no matter how many times I told her to apply to the actuarial team she wouldn’t do so. The actuarial team was HUGE about promoting within.

I saw many people who wanted to learn more about what they do who had no experience whatsoever get excepted into the team because they wanted to learn. This girl was a shoo-in. And yet she never even tried despite the fact that there were always openings.

She also shared with me that she was $180k in debt for that master’s degree. Last time I checked in with her she had left the job completely and is now in school for art. (Insert facepalm emoji here.)

But my favorite was before I was even an accountant. I worked for a small CPA firm as a receptionist during tax time. I saw a full-grown woman sit down on the floor and start crying because she owed $900 in taxes that year when she had made about $150k that year.

I rolled my eyes so hard that I hurt myself. Later that day I had a guy who owed $750k to the IRS and said “woohoo! That’s way less than last year!””

3. Sad stories.

“The client who joined an MLM and racked up half a million dollars worth of losses before finally listening to us and quitting.

The client who spent $40k on Farmville over 3 months.

The clients who give their adult children allowances that exceed my salary, fancy cars, and houses without expecting them to ever hold down a job themselves.”

4. Bad idea, sir.

“Watched a client walk out of my office after I explained the risk in liquidating his 401K to start his own business.

He started it with no management experience or business model, real “fly by the seat of his pants” kinda guy. Wanted to start a career flipping houses in a college town, turn them into upscale rentals.

Did it in a bad neighborhood and lost EVERYTHING.”

5. Oops!

“My brother had a long standing client of around 10 years get married after only knowing a woman for 12 months. He was almost 55, she was in her early 30s.

55 y.o. man wanted to add her as a signatory on his retirement account. Basically giving her 100% power over the account. A quick soft credit check showed she was not good with money.

My brother offered up many different options as to how to give her access to the money but with limitations. He even straight up refused to do it, saying that he needed to think about it for a few days.

The guy came back in the next morning saying he would file a complaint against him if he didn’t set it up. My brother said that he would need to get the documents notarized, and sign a waiver that this is against the institutions advice.

The guy comes back in later that day and finalizes the deal.

You can guess what happened within about 6 months.

The account had around 600k in it to begin with, and she had managed to run off with about 65k before the account was frozen by my brother for review of withdrawls.

The man was f*ckin p*ssed and tried to lawyer up twice. Neither time did it even go to court.

His advice is that if you are married and have investment accounts, just keep them separate unless you REALLY have a reason to give them access.

You can totally notify the agency about your marriage, and sometimes in certain situations the spouse can get limited info confirmed for medical bills and such.”

6. Terrible decisions.

“Making over $250k (sometimes WELL over), no withholding, not paying estimated taxes throughout the year, can’t afford the tax bill with the return EVERY YEAR, then b*tching because they can’t afford the installment payments on the taxes they owe from two years ago.

Sell your gaudy McMansion, take your teenage daughter’s credit card away, let your drunk driving son stay in jail and get a public defender, and tell your b*tch wife to stop spending all day at the tennis courts sipping mimosas.

Get your sh*t together and pay taxes throughout the year like the rest of us. You aren’t being persecuted by the IRS, you’re just an idiot.”

7. Wow.

“I work for a bank. One of our branches had a customer who was basically homeless. Then, he wins the lottery!

Over the next few months, the staff watched him come in to withdraw thousands of dollars every day to spend on extravagances. Everyone tried to convince him to sit with a financial advisor to help him make the most of his money.

Less than a year later, he’s in slightly better shape than when he started; he’s at least able to live in the car he bought.”

8. Come on!

“I’ve had a client where I noticed this guy’s credit debt always remained hovering $13k to $15k… I asked him why he only makes minimum payments on his credit card instead of paying it off, because I see he has roughly $11k sitting in a bank account.

Interest per month on that credit card bill is roughly $250, and according to his repayment patterns it will take him roughly 19 years to pay it all off.

His answer to me is the bank charges him $7.99 per month for his bank account if his balance dips below $10k… So to save the $7.99 per month this guy is paying $250 in interest on his credit card.”

9. Gotta do your research.

“What I’ve seen, countless times, is someone who started a business with ZERO research, no understanding of what running a business involves. (Here’s a hint: practically every business involves paperwork and deadlines.).

The business models come in waves… for a while it was Barbecue shacks, then it was cupcakes, then house flippers, then food trucks. I think they see it being done on TV shows that make it look fun. It isn’t fun when they come to me with debt, tax levies and lawsuits. IRS and state labor department and health department on their backs, and suppliers taking them to court for unpaid bills.

Some of them cashed out their retirement account to buy a business; others put their house up as collateral for an SBA loan. it’s a nightmare. If they had come to an accountant first, we might be able to help them (or even better, dissuade then).

I usually see them after 18-24 months of screwups and by then it’s usually too late to rescue them.”

10. Those fees add up.

“I’m a banker. Banks charge fees for using other bank’s ATMs.

I had a customer that would check his balance and then do withdrawals daily at a foreign ATM. Guy did not have a lot of money to begin with and because he did this, would overdraw his account and get slapped with an overdraft fee which put him in the hole further.

We ended up taking away his ability to overdraw his account. Dude was p*ssed but it helped right the ship a little.”

11. All gone.

“Bank advisor here, a customer got an inheritance, about 200.000€, and just spent in like 2 years, not investing it or putting into a savings account.

Didn’t even buy something big like a car our part of a house, just spent too much every month for two years and it was gone”

12. The car game.

“Claims Adjuster here, and I see it happen all too often – trading in vehicles with negative equity.

Why? Why can’t you be financially responsible and pay off your vehicle instead of rolling the leftover loan onto that new shiny machine you just can’t resist, and rinse/repeat a couple of years later. Your loan is just getting bigger and bigger.

I had one client (recent, otherwise I had more than that) – who totaled his vehicle. He blew past a stop sign and collided with another vehicle. Guess what friend, out of that $70,000 you still owe to the bank because you’ve traded in 4,5 vehicles over the years – we are only covering you for what your current vehicle is worth today, around $25,000 or whatever it was .

Depreciation applies unless you have the proper endorsement in place. That means you will be paying the bank for the leftover loans of some vehicles, none of which you own.

Own one vehicle, one loan – if you ever totaled your vehicle, insurance will provide you enough to cover the loan. If it doesn’t quite cover it because of high interest, it sure as hell isn’t a $45k loan left.”

13. Listen to your accountant.

“Best friend is a CPA, and when he had his own practice, he had some pretty big-name clients (Senators, musicians, pro athletes, etc.).

One of the biggest mistakes people made were thinking they were smarter than an accountant. His biggest challenge were the people who heard about the “sovereign citizen” nonsense. To no one’s surprise, a random guy on YouTube doesn’t know more than an actual CPA with 40+ years experience.

At least a few of these new-found “sovereign citizens” ended up doing time for tax evasion.”

Have you ever seen someone make a really terrible financial decision?

If so, please tell us about it in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Discuss the Worst Financial Decisions They’ve Seen Folks Make appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Who Grew up With Very Religious Parents Talk About Their Experiences

Religious extremism has always kind of scared me.

I’m all for people having their beliefs and worshipping the way they want to, but when those beliefs become extreme and it starts to affect the folks around you, that’s when there’s a problem.

And it seems like more people than you probably think actually grew up this way.

Let’s take a look at some interesting stories from folks on AskReddit.

1. Out the door.

“Let the beatings commence.

Spanked, paddled, whipped, and beaten for minor offenses.

That’s why I joined the military to get away from that nonsense.”

2. In retrospect…

“Terrifying in retrospect, but I didn’t realize it at the time.

You just start to think that all the bullsh*t that’s going on around you is normal, and then when you start meeting people in the real world outside of the religious bubble you slowly start realizing how f*cked up everything was.”

3. Cult-like.

“Grew up in a non-denominational Christian Church. The resemblance it had to a cult didn’t really dawn on me til I was older, probably 14-16.

My parents were the stereotypical helicopter parents- watched our every move, put screen mirroring apps on the very first cell phone we were ever given at age 16, shaming the hell out of us for what they would find on our phones talking to our secret girlfriends, etc.

Our church was full of families with 7+ children, the largest family having 12 kids and single mom (the dad was in jail for molesting some of the eldest girls). Out of a population of about 5-600, me and my sister were the only kids enrolled in public school, because mom was a school teacher. As a teenager, life was absolutely miserable.

Around the age of 14 I decided I hated Christianity and the absolute perversion and abuse of power this church was capable of inflicting upon me. One suicide attempt and psych ward trip later, around the age of 16, I decided I was done with the church punishing me, I decided if I couldn’t escape my parents house physically, then I would escape it mentally.

This led me to start using drugs of any sort. I started drinking cough medicine and smoking weed. Fast forward a few months, I started chemistry and synthesized multiple plant-derived psychedelics in my room. This led me to overdose and panic and have a second psych ward trip. After the church hears of this, they expelled me from the congregation. (They also expelled multiple people for being gay and all sorts of other lovely things)

Long term, I’m now almost 21 and I’m not gonna lie I have a substance problem. I think there’s some very deep emotional scarring I’ll never be able to completely deal with. I’m trying to stop my substance abuse issue and turn my life around for the better, but after being so bright in high school I feel like a retard now from all of the oxys.

My goal now is to go to trade school and get certified in welding, hopefully make a pretty ok life for myself. I wanted to go to college, but I have a few drug charges on my record, so I’ve pretty much abandoned hope of an easy future. I know I’ve f*cked up my life a lot, I’ll be honest it’s hard.

I think about suicide often, but I want to give life one last clean try for I abandon all hope. If it doesn’t work out and I wind up homeless, I do plan to kill myself. I’d rather be dead than homeless.”

4. Growing up Mormon.

“Grew up hardcore Mormon. I’d like to stress that my childhood isnt as common for other Mormon kids.

Most of the time Mormons are fairly understanding and loving to their kids. BUT, the mormon culture does promote the mentality my parents had.

When I was growing up I wasnt punished like some others here. I was spanked, and experienced the belt but that isnt why I have some psychological problems now. The real punishment was shame. From the earliest age I can remember (around six) I was told that I was lazy and I was pissing my life away (This was the strongest language my father would use).

When I first heard the word s*x, around eleven, I looked it up on the family computer. I was a pervert from then on, and had to talk to the bishop every month for a checkup. Hell, in every school I went to my parents told school counselors that I wasnt allowed on computers because I might look up pictures of naked women. (I never did this)

This is just the sparknotes version but I internalized the shame. Being so young I just accepted that I was what my father called me and hated myself for it. I was a lazy faliure at six, I was a pervert at eleven. It didnt stop me from doing any of the things I was doing before, I just learned to fear my fathers footsteps as if it was the devil himself walking down the hallway.

I lived my life in the brief intervals between punishments. I am still not beyond this at 24 years old.”

5. A bad situation.

“Oh, where to start?

Spankings that were borderline beatings for every offense. I wasn’t allowed to “talk back” at all. Asking “why?” Was talking back. I spent my entire childhood believing that all my problems were because I didn’t love god enough.

When I was 9, I was convinced that if I didn’t shape up, God was going to kill me. So I spent six months being a perfect angel but also living in constant terror. Just completely convinced that if I did one thing wrong, lightning would blow me off the planet.

Last thing I’ll mention is how my parents wouldn’t feed me as a child if I talked back. Many many nights I was sent home with no food for the most minor of infractions. (Finishing a chore a minute or two late)

They have largely turned things around. And even apologized for some of these actions. But I still have no interest in talking to them.”

6. Strict.

“Very religious parents, we have to abstain from eating onions, meat and garlic for nine days twice a year.

My parents always think that their religion is the best they sometimes criticize other religions.

The think homos*xuality is a sin.

My mother wants me to stop eating non-vegetarian food after I get married

I’m only allowed to eat Non- veg on Sunday, Friday and Saturday

My mother frowns when I tell her that I dont believe in god.

Yes, I’m Hindu.”

7. Still working on it.

“Was forced to attend a Christian cult for years. I told my parents every single time that I’m an atheist. Didn’t matter, had to go.

Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t study, they burned my books, couldn’t go out, so I was literally confined in my room with absolutely nothing. I had a bed and a wardrobe and clothes. No music, no drawing, no reading, no PC because only my little brother could use the computer.

I was studying programming in high school ffs. Had to hand-in my homework written on a paper instead of programmed in various languages.

Shamed me for being a woman. Shamed my body. Made me think I’m stupid. The “Pastor” kept saying how he sees god’s light on my face and how I’m clearly a devout Christian. I was thinking how to…uhm… evil stuff evil stuff… anyway not so nice thoughts about him during these conversations so yeah I don’t think he saw what was really in my mind.

Almost snapped. That would have ended in a sad, messy way. Thankfully I was banned, most likely because in the end I let my true thoughts show on my face. Claimed it was because they saw me walking with a boy or some other bullsh*t. I think they realised I’m not a sheep like the rest but a bloody angry wolf. Don’t try to indoctrinate the psychopath.

I left my family, moved a few thousand kilometers away, I have a great job, a great husband (he knows all my past), travelling constantly with my BOOKS. Yeah I love my books. Noone will ever take them again. I’m planning on building my own tiny library with a mahogany desk and heavy drapery on the windows.

Also I learnt I’m not stupid (quite the opposite) and I’m not that ashamed if my body anymore. My brain still have some trauma to work through. But I might even be a completely normal human in time!”

8. Homeschooled.

“I wasn’t in a true cult but I was homeschooled for religious reasons.

Mom replaced the word “millions” with “thousands” in our history/science books. Words like “liberal” and “democrat” and “secular” and “muslim” were insults, deserving mockery and shame. Went to church 3-4 times a week, mission trips every year.

Didn’t do Halloween (but always had “fall festivals”) or Easter Bunny or Santa. We weren’t allowed to say “holy cow” or “holy smokes” because only God is holy. Couldn’t watch Disney movies because of the “follow your heart” messaging, since the human heart is evil, it’s God’s heart we should follow (and also cuz Eisner supported equal rights).

No Pokemon because of “evolution” and a Satanic Panic fear that they were based on Japanese demons.

I’m 30 now and ashamed of the person I was, but I try not to be too hard on myself… It wasn’t all my fault. I was a Bible thumping Republican until late in college, and even though I’m an entirely different person, I still encounter chunks of bullsh*t in my psyche that I try to pluck out.

Therapy and reading and introspection and travel and empathy will do a lot! But we’re all on a journey…”

9. Demonic!

“All non-Christian gospel music was considered demonic. All fantasy was demonic.

I couldn’t watch how to train your dragon because it might as well be how to train your demon. Any time I acted up, it was because of the demons either influencing me or in me.

Church every day gets a little old after a while too.”

10. Irritating.

“My mom is a devout mormon. I was forced to pretend to believe in their church for 18 years.

I moved out a few months ago, she knows I don’t attend but she doesn’t know how far away I have distanced myself from that church.

She still calls me every week saying she’s trying to find out who my bishop is so they can send people to bring me to church with them. It’s like leading a double life but she’s micromanaging my religious beliefs from 4 hours away.

I love my mom but Jesus Christ does the Mormon lifestyle irritate me.”

11. Satanic Panic.

“It was Hell, and now I’m an athiest. We were raised in the Satanic Panic era in a Full Gospel Pentacostal church where people spoke in tongues, slithered on the floor like a snake, and fainted ( I guess thats what you call it).

We were only allowed stay overnight with friends whos family were from the same church. Only permitted to watch Rated G and PG movies. Not allowed to watch The Smurfs because they were satanic. We and other members of the church would stand on the side of the road in town and preach over a sound system to the teenagers cruising on Friday and Saturday nights.

We were forced to go to church every Wednesday night and morning and evening service on Sunday. Our stepdad was a deacon and later was “called to preach”. He beat the hell out of us on a regular basis and molested my sister. Beatings were so bad we were told no to dress out at PE in school because he didnt want anyone to see the bruises.

We were basically his slaves. We were forced to work our entire childhood. If we were caught with Rock and Roll music, it was burned. He later left my mom for another deacon’s wife which is why im not in prison because I had future plans to kill him once i got older.

There were four of us kids, one has since commited suicide, one is a crack head, my sister and her husband are very wealthy and i am a police officer. Hitler is still alive but he is paying for all of the abuse he put us through.”

12. Looks good from the outside.

“Having religious extremist parents is having a family that looks good from the outside, but is completely broken on the inside.

Having religious extremist parents is having your mother “obey” your father because that’s the only advice their pastor gave for marriage counseling. Having religious extremist parents is being told from an early age that all you’re going to do as a woman is graduate high school, get married, have a bunch of children for god and obey your husband.

Having religious extremist parents is being pulled out of school so they can “instill the proper values and beliefs”. Having religious extremist parents is being gaslit CONSTANTLY. Brain washed CONSTANTLY. Not being allowed your own views.

Having religious extremist parents is being told to not be “vain” so you spend every minute telling yourself not to feel pretty, not to feel confident, not to feel proud of yourself for your accomplishments. Having religious parents is using the bible verse “obey your elders” against your younger sister to play what you wanted to play, and realizing how much you hurt her all those years because of some stupid bible verse taken out of context (just to clarify, our relationship is the strongest out of my family).

Having religious extremist parents is being lectured for hours that “you aren’t helping your mother out around the house enough” while neglecting our education.

Having religious extremist parents is spending hours in a church service where the preacher tells you how you can’t be like the rest of the world, that the rest of the world is wrong, that other theologies are wrong, and woe is the church for having so many young people leave christianity, and don’t ever be like them.

Having religious extremist parents is realizing years later that you gave money EVERY GODD*MN WEEK to some grown man that could’ve gotten a real job to pay his bills, because if you weren’t tithing, you weren’t “christian enough”.

Having religious extremist parents is having a father who thinks the world is awful, and a mother who is so disillusioned that she can only see the rosy world in her head.

Having religious extremist parents is watching your family fall apart when you grow up. Having religious extremist parents is watching the abuse between your parents, but knowing they’ll never divorce because “it’s not god’s will”, and “divorce is wrong”.

Having religious extremist parents is knowing that there are some things, some beliefs that they will never accept you for. Having religious extremist parents is finding yourself much later in life that you should’ve.

It’s growing up and realizing the isolation, the trauma, the depression, and the brokenness in your own family and wondering why you never realized it before.”

How about you?

Were you raised in an overly religious household? Maybe even bordering on extremism?

If so, please tell us about it in the comments.

The post People Who Grew up With Very Religious Parents Talk About Their Experiences appeared first on UberFacts.