People Talk About Subtle Things People Say That Are Red Flags

You have to pay attention or you might miss something…

I’m talking about when you have conversations with people and they drop little hints that should make you say, “uh oh…I’m not sure if I want to have anything to do with this person.”

People on AskReddit shared subtle things people say that they think are red flags.

Here’s what they had to say.

1. A terrible thing to say.

““Yeah, but YOU don’t act black.”

Literally heard this s**t my entire childhood. I got told I act “too white” because I enjoyed reading books.

WTF?”

2. Totally lame.

“When people say things like “I can say and do whatever I want” “it’s a free country. Ever hear of freedom of speech?” in order to justify s**tty things they say or do.

Like sure, you have the right to speak your mind, but people also have the right to judge you for what you say.”

3. Shows a lot.

“S**t talking other people (who aren’t there). Sometimes it’s fair.

But it does tell me there’s a lack of respect, and if they’re s**t talking a lot of people, I’m pretty sure I’ll be next on the list.”

4. Get ready for a lecture.

“”I’m always open to debate.”

I find most people that say that are open to lecture you, and closed to debate.”

5. An ugly way to look at things.

“When they disagree with someone, they default to attacking the person’s character instead of their actions. We all do this from time to time, but with some people it’s every time.

The guy who messed up their order is “an idiot”. Their boss is “an evil sociopath”. The person on Facebook who expressed a political view that opposes theirs is “a degenerate”. That new intern at work is “hopeless”.

In the end, the final result is that anyone they disagree with for any reason is either an inherently bad person who doesn’t really merit listening to.”

6. Yikes.

“When I started my new job the bubbliest girl who was loved by most of the staff and was also a HR manager would act like this when me and her were totally alone.

She would whisper ever so softly (to herself but to me) “you get no thanks around here, no one cares. You just wait and watch the knives stabbing when you least expect it”.

This is something she did on my first DAY!! I said to her everyone seems lovely and accepting and she said “well wait until you get to know them”.

This was the HR MANAGER!!”

7. Really weird.

“When someone says “they’re my karma child” and implies their child makes their life so hard it must be payback for a mistake they made in the past.

I usually discover this person has intense mental health or substance use history. It’s a s**tty way of mentioning their disdain for their kid.”

8. It’s who I am.

““I’m an empath” makes me want to get in my car and drive ten hours in the opposite direction while shoving wool in my ears.”

9. Here we go again.

“”With all due respect.”

I know a guy who says this so frequently that when he says it, I brace myself for the s**t to follow.”

10. Classy!

“When you (female) find a Tinder notification on your partner’s (male) phone while they’re in a near 6 year relationship with you and you ask them why they’re on tinder

“Doesn’t hurt to see what’s out there”.”

11. Messed up.

“I live in Canada.

My husband is a white immigrant with a charming accent.

I instantly h**e anyone who makes a comment about how they don’t mean “immigrants like him” when complaining about immigrants.”

12. That ain’t right.

““I know what I’m worth.”

Especially in a romantic setting, OLD or first date type stuff.

It’s good to have a strong sense of self but I’ve found when this exact phrase is stated/listed something ain’t right.”

13. Get out while you can.

“When you’re on a date/dating someone, and they incessantly bring up their ex.

This means two things: they’re still stuck on their ex, and they will always compare you to their ex.”

14. The worst.

“Not having basic manners as in please and thank you to service persons.

“That’s their job, I don’t have to be polite.”

Nope.”

Are there certain things that people say that you think are red flags?

Tell us what you think in the comments.

We look forward to it!

The post People Talk About Subtle Things People Say That Are Red Flags appeared first on UberFacts.

July 15, 2021

What Subtle Things Person Says Are Red Flags to You? Here’s How Folks Responded.

I know my answer!

If someone gives me WAY too much information about themselves or their problems the first time I ever meet them, I know that they are most likely a bit of a train wreck and they’re not exactly someone I’d love to be friends with.

But that’s just my take on it…

What subtle things people say are red flags?

AskReddit users shared their thoughts.

1. Take no for an answer.

“I used to go to the bar after work with coworkers. One of the managers didn’t go, but a coworker kept encouraging him to come out and party. He relented and said he’d come out for one drink.

At the bar, he took a sip and said “ah, I haven’t had a beer in 5 months”. No one else took notice of that, but it struck me. He was gone a week later after coming into work drunk and doing something inappropriate.

To anyone reading this: If someone doesn’t want to drink, accept no for an answer. They might have a very good reason to say no, and pressing them on it, especially when well intentioned, might make it much harder for them to say no.”

2. So rude.

“Never asking a question.

My husband realized his father never does this and now I can’t stop listening for this.”

3. No thanks!

“But you’re so good at it!

Aka, I’ll compliment you in the hope that you’ll take this task off my hands.”

4. Trashy.

“When people talk s**t on their spouses. Like even in the most subtle way it’s still not appropriate small talk.

If it’s my best friend and she’s telling me about a hardship or a fight, different.

But when I’m meeting you for the first time I shouldn’t be able to pick up that you dislike your spouse/SO.”

5. They won’t change.

“If they wronged you and say something like, “I’m such a terrible person, you should leave me.”

It’s them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you. They’re not going to change if you stay.”

6. Hipster logic.

“Asking what music you listen to, then immediately critiquing it, especially when you like mainstream stuff.

I guess this applies to stuff other than music but that’s what annoys me the most.”

7. Uhhh, okay.

“Pretty much anytime somebody says something about themself when it’s not prompted or necessary.

Like “I’m an honest person”, “I’m a hard worker”, or “I’d never hit a woman”.”

8. Not cool.

““That’s just the way God made me,” as an excuse for being a jerk.

Like it’s just their personality and they can’t help it so we should all just accept it.”

9. Sketchy.

“Anything that exposes poor morals.

For example, “I’ll just say I never got it so they send me another one.”

When people show you who they really are, believe them.”

10. Lame.

“”Sorry I did this and that, It’s just my inner zodiac sign.”

Like, your zodiac sign doesn’t define you, you’re just being a sh**ty person and using that phrase as a cover up.”

11. Sketchy.

“Anyone who tries to convince you that you can trust them.

“Come on man, you can trust me. I’d never do that to you!”

People who are actually trustworthy don’t need to convince anyone of anything and they also know that real trust isn’t freely given to people you barely know and are not offended when they are not given it.”

12. Always the victim.

“When they are the victim in all of their stories.

I had a colleague who didn’t really have any friends outside of work. All of her stories were about how each of her friends had sta**ed her in the back at one time or another. She went travelling to Australia with 6 girls and left early because they didn’t want to do the things she wanted. It was glaringly obvious that she was the issue but still tried to play the sweet victim.

There is another girl from my high school who has gained quite a few followers on social media through sharing her stories of being bullied in school for being bald. No one can remember that ever happening, she was quite popular but had lost touch with her group as you do when you move away for college. Also, she was never bald.

Red flags when people enjoy pity.”

What red flags do you notice when people talk to you?

Fill us in in the comments!

We’d love to hear from you!

The post What Subtle Things Person Says Are Red Flags to You? Here’s How Folks Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

May 4, 2020

People Talk About Red Flags That Are Warning Signs in Friendships

Paying attention to red flags is not just limited to romance.

You need to look for them in your regular friendships as well. Trust me on this one, a terrible friend can make your life just as miserable as someone you’re sleeping with.

So remember to keep your eyes open with your friends as well because a bad friend can be a major bummer and they can be really hard to get rid of.

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. Don’t bring the bad vibes.

““Good vibes only” friends. That mentality is fine to have with yourself. But you can’t force that on others.

My best friend adopted this attitude and from then on, whenever I would come to her for support or advice on an issue I was having, she’d cut me off and say, “Ah ah ah! Good vibes only, remember?” Because I was bringing her down.

I put up with it for a long time because I thought she was right, that I was burdening her. But then I finally realized that that’s not how real friends act. They’re supposed to support and help each other.”

2. I’m over here!

“Having their damn phone in their face the whole time. If they do that, they don’t want a friend, they want company. It’s not the same.”

3. This drives me insane.

“Friends who constantly call you for advice but, never take it and continue to involve you in their drama.

If you’re not going to make moves to improve your situation stop asking me for help.”

4. Pay attention to these.

“When they pressure you to do things for them (or a certain way) and act like you were on board the whole time. (coercion)

They say they are “holding you accountable” to something you never wanted in the first place. (gaslighting)

They take the “high road” when you get angry because they won’t respect your boundaries. (play the victim).”

5. Insensitive.

“They never say anything supportive of you. But they will point of your flaws, and can’t wait to burn you, because its funny, to them.

And then the follow up of “you’re too sensitive” “It’s just joking”.”

6. This is frustrating.

“Friends that are a one way street. I was always the one to message, call, or make plans with them. I was always the one to check up on them to see if they were okay. I always offered a helping hand and be there for them.

I decided to stop to see if they would reach out to me, but we never spoke to me again. Oh, well.”

7. “Emotional vampires.”

“Friends that aren’t happy for your success and happiness, but are very close when you’re sad.”

8. Look out for this one.

“This is subtle and a bit counterintuitive but beware of the rescuer-martyr. The person that’s always rushing out to help and give everyone else their all whether or not it’s needed or whether the recipient is comfortable with it. They are good people, very well intentioned and saintly in their generosity with their time and energy.

However, sometimes it goes to the extreme and then it’s more a symptom of a toxic cycle where they only get meaning and self-worth when they are saving someone; or maybe they keep swooping into other people’s lives to fix things in hopes that someone will do the same for them.

They may have good intentions but they tend not to have good boundaries; they get overinvolved in your life; take on way too much and make everyone’s problems their own. They end up overwhelmed, mired in drama, and resentful. And then they become the martyr.

The problem with being friends with this type of person is that you’re not in an equal friendship where you like each other, enjoy spending time with each other; and when there happen to be downs, you support each other through them.

It’s more like you’re a project, everyone’s a project; and once you stop being a project you’re now support – not just for them and their own problems, but part of the fire brigade for their other projects (which they’ve internalized as their own problems and drama).”

9. That gets pretty old.

“If you have had a friend for a long time, but you only seem to be able to talk about memories in the past.

Each time you get together or exchange messages, it’s “Remember in high school….” or “Remember that time when….”

Could be a sign that you both have grown apart and do not have much in common today that you can connect on.”

10. All about them.

“Friends who are always happy to talk about themselves but never once ask you how you’re doing or anything engaging you to talk about yourself.”

11. Best friends!

“Personally I’ve always had bad experiences with people who say everyone is their “best friend.”

When my best friend in high school started calling 10 different people including me her best friend, that was when I knew I was just an accessory, and she was trying to surround herself with people to love her.”

12. This happens ALL THE TIME.

“When they ditch you the moment they start dating someone.”

13. Bullying is bad.

“They try to correct your personal preferences for you. Bully you out of liking certain clothing/music/foods/art, etc. They’ll often frame it as if they’re doing you a favor.

It’s a sign of emotional immaturity when people treat others like play objects rather than human beings.”

14. Don’t be a flake.

“Being flaky.

Nobody is that busy for a 2 second text to cancel plans or to not even agree to them at all.”

Beware of these kinds of people!

It’ll probably help you out a lot in the long run.

What are the red flags you look for in your friendships?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

The post People Talk About Red Flags That Are Warning Signs in Friendships appeared first on UberFacts.