Category: psychology

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People Think These Behaviors Totally Scream “I’m Insecure!”

Most of us worry too much about how we come off around other people. What they think about us, whether or not they like us, that sort of thing.

And if you’re someone who needs other people to at least respect you in a business capacity, well, then appearing confident and cool is probably extra important to you.

So, here are 15 behaviors the people of Reddit say you should definitely avoid.

15. Power trips are a dead giveaway.

I mostly see this at work.

– People who are in upper management and treat people like garbage just because they can.

– Being unnecessarily mean, rude or bitter to people.

– Treating new employees like garbage just because you’re threatened they might take your job some day.

14. Sometimes it just is.

People who automatically assume that if you disagree with them, you must have a subjective, personal reason to do so, if possible even related to your own insecurities. Simply not true.

13. Good intentions aren’t actually worth a whole lot.

I’ve found that a lot of people on Twitter that feel the need to post about how great of a person they are and they have nothing but good intentions are usually the most toxic people I’ve seen

12. Those poor children.

I deal with insecure moms a lot, either at the playground or mommy groups. They’re insecure about what milestones their child is hitting and how they are doing as a mother.

One of the biggest tells is when they brag about something that’s clearly a lie, or even a partial truth.

“My 3 year old is reading at a first grade level!” Ok but he’s eating grass right now and just pooped himself.

You see it a lot on social media now.

“My 20 month old is potty trained!” Having several accidents a day and needing a diaper whenever she sleeps is not potty trained.

Yeah moms are pretty judgy and many mommy groups are toxic but most of can tell when you’re lying and it screams insecure.

11. Don’t compare yourself to others.

Just not shutting up about yourself. Constantly lifting yourself up and comparing yourself to others, while pushing them down.

10. If you’re good at something, people will figure it out on their own.

Constantly wedging “humble bragging” into conversations.

9. If you think it is, you’re probably right.

This is a self roast but I think I degrade myself just to hear others deny it, is that insecure?

8. Just say no to this crap if you want to be happy.

When people have and insist on constantly checking on their SO via some tracking app on their phone.

It’s one thing to have it and use it in case of emergency, but using it while out with your friends to make sure he’s actually at work is creepy and super insecure.

7. Try not to over think it.

When you question yourself “do they actually like me or are they pretending to?” or when you think you’re gonna bother other people if you talk to them

Edit: Jesus Christ. I wasn’t expecting so many replies.

I hope you all are doing great.

6. Life isn’t a competition.

People who always have to one up you in everything if you tell a story they have a better one, if you buy something expensive they have to be something even more expensive. Some people’s whole life is trying to win some non existent competition.

5. Try to see the glass half full.

Automatically assuming negative intent.

eg:

You friend didn’t pick your call?

“Fuck her, she’s trying to avoid me. I don’t care about her anyway.”

4. You shouldn’t have to try so hard.

Trying to dominate conversations (not to be confused with just being a charismatic person).

3. Most people aren’t lookin for the bad.

As an insecure person, I find it hard to look people in the eyes. I also find it hard to tell any stories about myself, because I’m afraid people will think I’m lying, or that I won’t be part of the group because of personal differences. I always think everyone is better than me; I can see all the good in everybody, but I know that they see all the bad in me. Insecure people stand in the corner and don’t join the group.

2. Like who you are now.

I used to be very insecure so I’ll go from my own experience. Lying about something to seem cool. It’s very obviously a signal of insecurity because they don’t like who they are now.

1. The vague posts are the worst.

All those people who post on Facebook those quotes that are like: ‘don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason’

Or they tag themselves into any and EVERY place including the docs/hospital/somewhere personal. Then when someone asks if they’re ok they reply with: ‘don’t ask hun xoxox’

Urgh so basically. People who live their lives through very active social media’s I suppose I’m trying to say.

I’m surprised by some of these, but I think they’re spot on!

How do you spot insecurity? Is it an important trait to sniff out? Let us know in the comments!

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10 Interesting Facts to Help You Get Through This Loooooong Week

Will this week ever end.

It feels like it’s taking FOREVER.

But, wait! I have a good idea about how to fix this.

Facts! Great facts that will challenge your brain and soothe your soul.

Let’s get started!

1. It’s mostly water weight.

Photo Credit: did you know?

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2. Rejection leads to later problems.

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3. That’s totally disgusting! Yay humans!

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4. Oh, it’s real…

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5. Typical male behavior.

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6. Are you good at this?

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7. This is amazing.

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8. Be on the lookout…

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9. A symbol of grace and poise.

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10. Wow…that’s really something…

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That’s a little better, right?

Now let’s power through the rest of this damn work week together!

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4 Words That Experts Say Can Double Your Chances of Getting What You Want from Someone

Some folks are more comfortable with asking for help than others, but the fact of the matter is, we all have to do it sometimes.

And if you have to communicate with another human being and ask for something, it’s much better to maximize your chances of getting what you need out of the whole scenario, right?

If you agree, remember these 4 words: but you are free…

Image Credit: Pixabay

The but you are free (BYAF) compliance-gaining technique works when you make your request, then add “but you are free to refuse” or something like that at the end.

It works, says communication researcher Christopher Carpenter, because it eases the “target’s” perception that his or her ability to say no is being taken away.

“One of the experimenters approached individuals walking alone in a shopping mall in France. In the control condition, the experimenter made a simple, direct request: ‘Sorry, Madam/Sir, would you have some coins to take the bus, please?’ In the experimental condition, the experimenter added: ‘But you are free to accept or refuse.’ Those in the experimental condition gave twice as much as those in the control condition.”

Image Credit: Pixabay

The wording of the phrase actually doesn’t matter; “but obviously do not feel obligated” and other variations have been found to be just as effective.

“The factor most consistently emerging has been the importance of verbally recognizing the target’s freedom to say ‘no.’”

Image Credit: Pixabay

So, the next time you really want someone to do something for you, try reminding them that they’re free to tell you to take a hike.

It might seem counterintuitive, but it works!

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This Artist’s Illustrations Show How Easy It Is for Boys to Pick up Casual Sexism

Kids don’t know there are different expectations for genders when they’re born, or that people’s skin colors can mean they experience life in a different way, or that some people think certain kinds of romantic love are unacceptable. They learn these things from the adults in their lives, and many people try their hardest to make sure that they don’t hand down any prejudices to their kids.

Not every though.

too many adults seem unaware that they’re passing on sexism on a daily basis – a fact that artist Damian Alexander sought to illustrate with his comics.

As a child, he didn’t understand why people were always trying to redirect him from having female role models (other boys might find this in people trying to redirect them from liking certain colors, or television shows, toys, or hobbies), and he hopes that by pointing out how harmful and distressing it can be to kids, adults might cut it out.

https://damianimated.tumblr.com/post/165811617214

 

 

If you like these illustrations, make sure to follow Damian on his website, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Here’s hoping we can raise generations of boys who can like what and who they like without anyone making them feel badly about it!

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A Woman Shared Her Ex’s Text Messages to Show How Abusers Act Behind Closed Doors

When people who survive abuse open up about their experiences, confused folks often wonder: “Why didn’t you just leave?” But escaping from an abusive situation is never that simple. It’s a tangled, terrifying web of threats and intimidation, and it’s usually carefully hidden from others. Bystanders often have no idea just how bad things have gotten.

One woman shared screenshots of her abusive ex-husband’s text messages to show exactly what it’s like on the inside of an abusive relationship. Kristy is, thankfully, no longer with her ex, Adam.

First, he’d frequently send her a barrage of paranoid texts while she was on shift at work, despite the fact that she wasn’t allowed to have her phone while on the clock.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Another text shows Adam questioning her about her coworker, Tony, who committed the cardinal sin of changing her tire once.

Photo Credit: Imgur

And the third text shows that he literally set traps for her so that he’d know whether she slept at home or not. She was at a female friend’s house that night.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Adam also physically abused Kristy, then warned her not to tell her family members about it despite the fact that they could see the bruises on the rare occasions when they got to see Kristy.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Adam was so controlling and paranoid that he made Kristy take photos to prove that she wasn’t lying about her location.

Photo Credit: Imgur

He also made her step out at midnight every night to call her, And though she did her best to comply with his outlandish demands, he still berated her and told her not to come back to their home state.

Adam wasn’t always this way. He used to be kind and loving, Kristy says, until she lost weight and got a job. Then the abuse began.

“I finally got the guts to leave when he hurt my dog and kitten,” she explained. “3 years later and I’m actually doing great… I save these text messages to remind myself how far I’ve come.”

We support you Kristy. And anyone whose having trouble in an abusive relationship, just know that there are resources that you can rely on, and people who want to help you.

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Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory (HSAM) Is a Rare but Real Condition

The few people who have highly superior autobiographical memory (HSAM) can tell you exactly what happened on any given day, down to the way they felt and at what time. It’s both a superpower and a curse, depending on the circumstances. And to this day, scientists have no idea what contributors make a person have HSAM.

Though they do have some theories.

In 2006, a case study of  Jill Price, referred to by the pseudonym AJ in the study, was published in Neurocase. It described in detail her unusual memory. Price later outed herself as AJ publicly.

In an email, Price explained her ability:

I can take a date, between 1974 and today, and tell you what day it falls on, what I was doing that day and if anything of great importance (i.e.: The Challenger Explosion, Tuesday, January 28, 1986) occurred on that day I can describe that to you as well …Whenever I see a date flash on the television (or anywhere else for that matter) I automatically go back to that day and remember where I was, what I was doing, what day it fell on and on and on and on and on. It is non-stop, uncontrollable and totally exhausting.

And she wasn’t alone. A number of people came forward after the report, saying they had the same ability. Some were tested and found to have HSAM, same as Price.

Photo Credit: Flickr

Currently, only about 60 people worldwide are believed to have HSAM. Scientists are working with them to see if they can learn more about the average person’s memory, as well as how, and why, their super memories operate the way they do.

Something researchers have uncovered is that people with HSAM tend toward obsessiveness with cleaning, collecting and organizing, so there is thinking that perhaps collecting and organizing memories is part of HSAM.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Also, structural differences in the areas of the brain associated with autobiographical memory creation show up on scans. When asked about particular dates from the past, regular people lose their ability to recall them after about a week. People with HSAM recall details up to a decade and longer.

Something else researchers found was that people with HSAM can recall false memories just as often as regular people. So, their superhuman memories are far from perfect.

Photo Credit: Pexels

So, what does this all mean? Maybe the answer lies in the mysterious part of the brain where we turn short-term memories into long-term memory.

It would be interesting to figure out, although where this could have practical applications for those of us with normal to poor memories remains to be seen.

I kind of like living my life able to forget – at least I don’t remember all my regrets…

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A Study Shows That Tattoos Can Strengthen Our Immune Systems

Even though tattoos are pretty trendy at the moment, they’ve actually been around for over 6,000 years. They’re made to express a person’s thoughts, feelings, and or cultural beliefs. Some get them as a source of strength or healing, while others may get them just for fun.

Whatever your reason, have you ever thought about what tattoos do to your body? Like, for example, how might your immune system react to getting your skin dyed?

Funny you asked…

Christopher Lynn has been studying Samoan tattooing culture “and the impact of the big traditional pieces called pe’a and malu — tatau in general — on the immune system.”

The Samoa study is actually the fourth phase of his research about how tattoos interact with a person’s immune system. He first started with a group of mostly women in Alabama, and he found an interesting outcome.

“What I’d observed among that group suggested that tattooing could help beef up one’s immune response.”

But one study was not enough to gain a solid understanding of how or why. So he explored further, and that led him to Samoa:

“That’s why I traveled in 2018 with fellow anthropologist Michaela Howells to the Samoan Islands. Samoans have a long, continuous history of extensive tattooing. Working with contemporary machine and hand-tap tattooists in American Samoa, we wanted to see if we’d find the same link to enhanced immune response.”

Photo Credit: Unsplash, Allef Vinicius

What happens to your body when you get a tattoo?

Whenever you sit for a tattoo, you are allowing ink-coated needle pricks to penetrate your epidermis. This sends a warning to your immune system that these small “wounds” need healing. Your body responds in two ways. First:

“…getting a new tattoo triggers your immune system to send white blood cells called macrophages to eat invaders and sacrifice themselves to protect against infection.”

It will also send a level of adaptive responses to the area in the form of proteins. These proteins help the skin heal, but they also keep an eye out for this to happen again in the future.

“There are several classes of these proteins — called antibodies or immunoglobulins — and they continue to circulate in the bloodstream, on the lookout lest that same invader is encountered again. They’re at the ready to quickly launch an immune response the next time around.”

It’s like these little antibodies know how addictive tattooing is!

How is the level of antibodies and white blood cells measured to understand the immune systems reaction?

Photo Credit: Unsplash, Joel Muniz

“This adaptive capacity of the immune system means that we could measure immunoglobulins in saliva as approximations of previous stress caused by tattooing.”

During the study, Lynn and anthropologist Michaela Howells sampled 25 tattoo recipients, both Samoan and non-Samoan tourists to the island.

“We collected saliva at the start and end of each tattoo session, controlling for the tattoo duration. We also measured recipients’ weight, height and fat density to account for health. From the saliva samples, we extracted the antibody immunoglobulin A, as well as the stress hormone cortisol and inflammatory marker C-reactive protein. Immunoglobulin A is considered a frontline immune defense and provides important protections against frequent pathogens like those of the common cold.”

They determined that immunoglobulin A remained higher in the bloodstream even after a tattoo fully healed. Also, if one of the recipients received a larger tattoo, leaving them under the needle longer, the saliva produced more immunoglobulin A than those who experienced smaller tattoos

It seems that getting a tattoo for the first time primed the recipient’s bodies. Meaning, it ramped up their immune system to fight back in case there is a next time. Even if they chose not to get additional tattoos, their immune systems were still heightened in case they get sick. It’s the body’s way of preparing for future ailments due to body stress.

“Stress’s bad rap comes from chronic forms that really do undermine immune response and health. But a little bit is actually good for you and prepares your body to fight off germs. Regular exercise provides immune function benefits through repetition, not necessarily single visits to the gym. We think this is similar to how each tattoo seems to prepare the body for vigilance.”

Even though these findings sparked more interest on what tattoo can do to keep you “healthier,” you may want to wait before going out and covering your body in ink. Lynn is still exploring the ramifications.

“Our Samoan findings supported the results of my first study in Alabama. But of course correlation does not imply causation. Enhanced immune response is correlated with more tattoo experience, but maybe healthier people heal easily from tattooing and like to get them more. How could we find out if getting tattoos could actually make a person healthier?”

I guess we’ll have to wait and see!

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When Is the Best Time of Day to Exercise?

What time of day do you like to exercise? Would you change your mind if science suggested one of those were a better time?

Maybe, maybe not (for me). But if you’re curious, here are a few things to consider.

Photo Credit: Unsplash, Sam Knight

What does the early bird get?

So, morning or evening? Well, it gets a bit complicated.

Throughout the health and wellness community, there are people who swear by “fasted training” for losing weight; the idea is that working out on an empty stomach burns fat to melt away the pounds. Fasted training is often done in the morning, before breakfast.

But studies have been mixed. “Fed training,” when you eat before a workout, has been shown to help spark your body’s energy so that you can have a strong workout.

So which is better?

Well, the evidence says that it depends on your personal body composition, so you need to decide what works. Also, more important than either fed or fasted training is consistency. We all know there are tons of reasons in life why you might skip the gym – and that’s a major pro to getting your workout out of the way in the morning.

Photo Credit: Unsplash, Scott Webb

But evening workouts also have their perks…

Throughout the day, your body warms up, making your evening workout better. Also, your muscles cells contain biological clocks that abide by your circadian rhythms, which are regulated by your larger internal clock and sleeping regimes. What that means is that “…muscle cells are more efficient during an organism’s normal waking hours.”

So if you are into strength training and weight lifting, evening hours could be your best bet, as your muscles are at optimal efficiency and maintain higher levels of testosterone. Not to mention that later workouts have been shown to increase focus and energy.

Back to the question: which is better?

Well, sorry to do this to you, but it depends on the person. Perhaps the most important factor to consider is consistency, if you’re working toward weight loss goals. But if you’re looking for other types of gains, then you should consider muscle fatigue, sleep, and your schedule larger. If you ever see a trainer at the gym, they can give you a bit more advice specific to your body composition and goals.

But as long as you’re doing exercise, you are on your way!

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How Did Billie Eilish Stand on the Ceiling During Her ‘Saturday Night Live’ Performance?

If you’re familiar with Billie Eilish, you know she pushes interesting boundaries.

I’m not talking about sexual boundaries like Madonna or Lady Gaga, but more troubled, mysterious kinds of boundaries. And she was only 14 in 2015 when her first single, “Ocean Eyes,” dropped!

With her funky personal style and darkly twisted music, she’s become a phenomenon over the last three years. And honestly, there is no end in sight.

You may have caught her appearance on the opening episode of the new Saturday Night Live season, giving excellent performances of “Bad Boy” and “I Love You” (accompanied by her brother Finneas).

Did you miss her “Bad Boy?” performance? Well, she channeled Lionel Richie’s “Dancing on the Ceiling” and the audience went nuts.

Here’s a snippet to explain:

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we on the walls n shit ? @nbcsnl

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How did she do it?

She must be a witch or something.

Not quite. Cinematic trickery was used to make it appear she could walk on walls.

Here’s how it was done! Justin Theroux, who was in the audience videoed his perspective.

See how the stage moves, allowing Billie to walk the wall?

The camera remained fastened on the initial plane while the stage itself spun. The TV audience wasn’t privy to the behind-the-scenes view, but the in house audience was.

Here’s the full performance to gawk over!

Pretty neat and very appropriate for this particular musical genius.

If you’re dying for more Billie Eilish, look her up—you won’t regret it!

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Studies Show That Having a Dog Helps People Have Longer and Better Lives

I’m sure that this won’t be news to some of you.

Dogs and people go together like peanut butter and jelly. Of course, your dog will eat your peanut butter and jelly when you’re not looking, but I digress.

Dogs make us crazy happy, and a recent study gives us even more reason to bring these fuzz balls into our homes. Turns out, dogs help their owners live longer.

Published in the American Heart Association journal Circulation, the study looked at cardiovascular research from between 1950 and 2019 for evidence that dogs decrease the risk of heart disease in owners.

Photo Credit: Needpix

Well, they found it in droves. People who had survived heart attacks were less likely to have another heart related event and were also less likely to ultimately die from cardiovascular disease if they owned a dog. In fact, owning a dog was shown to boost heart health.

But researchers found it wasn’t just heart conditions dogs improved. The data from millions of patients over all those years of study also showed owning dogs lowered the rates of death from any cause. The study stated that dogs decreased the risk of dying by anything by 24 percent.

Health aside, according to a different 2019 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, dogs can also be credited to improving your overall quality of life.

Which is good, because if you’re going to live longer, you want a high quality life.

Photo Credit: Pxhere

Even participants who suffered from chronic pain reported more socialization and lowered rates of depression and anxiety.

Dogs are also shown to help people manage emotional and mental health, says a 2016 study published in the journal BMC Psychiatry. When participants mapped out their social structures, dogs consistently were placed as most central to their social lives.

Another 2019 study, this one published in the journal Aging and Mental Health, showed that older people received mental health benefits when they owned dogs. Having a pet around gave them purpose and decreased feelings of loneliness.

Photo Credit: Max Pixel

Another segment of society benefitting from dog ownership is youths experiencing homelessness. The animals create a barrier to getting into shelters, but the yong people studied reported feeling more loved than those who didn’t have dogs, according to a 2015 report in Child Psychiatry and Human Development.

What about people who cannot responsibly take care of dogs in their current environment or situation? All is okay. Current Opinion in Psychiatry research from 2015 tells us that even interacting with someone else’s dogs or volunteering to take care of other dogs can be hugely beneficial.

So, the science is in: dog love is a health tonic.

Take a dog for a walk, scratch his ears, rub her tummy and soak up all the healthy goodness for a longer and happier fur-filled life.

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