According to a New Study, Millennials Actually Have It Harder Than Other Generations

Millennials are the butts of many jokes these days. From social media to their coveted avocado toast, older generations love to poke fun. As someone who lives on the fringe of this generation (I’m a Xennial), I’ve always been a bit affronted for them – because the world is not what it once was, no matter whether older generations want to believe that’s true or not.

But now that there’s this handy dandy chart basically proving that they’re not just a bunch of whiners, well…maybe people will believe them, even if they’re never going to say they’re sorry.

The charts come as a result of a study done by Axios, and the bottom line is this: even though the median income hasn’t changed since 1977, the cost of literally everything else has risen significantly.

Today’s 30-year-olds, Axios tweeted, are more likely to still be living at home and be saddled with significant college debt than any generation before them.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Here are how the rest of the charts break down:

Photo Credit: Twitter

Basically, Millennials are better educated but make less money, and consequently own fewer homes. They’re more in debt. Far fewer of them are getting married, and the birth rate has dropped by almost a whole child per couple.

Even though most people won’t take the study seriously because everyone knows Millennials are just whiners, the truth is that people in this age group don’t need a chart or survey to know they’re not as well off as their parents.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

The good (?) news is that Millennials now make up 25% of the voting population, so they do have the power to change the way things are done if they take that responsibility seriously.

So get out there and do your civic duty, people!

h/t: ScaryMommy

The post According to a New Study, Millennials Actually Have It Harder Than Other Generations appeared first on UberFacts.

Job Recruiters Reveal Their Instant Resume Deal-Breakers

Looking for a job is never a fun process.

And no matter how iron-clad the resume, it could always use some work.

So study up on these responses from AskReddit users who also happen to be job recruiters.

1. Crucial info

“My brother works at camping world and told me someone wrote on their resume “If you don’t want me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” Who the hell puts that on a resume? What does that have to do with godd*mn camping world? She was 29 years old for Gods sake.”

2. Too much info

“People who tie themselves in knots to fit exactly into whatever resume template they are using. Combining jobs because you want to list 4 but the template has space for 3.

Using a template with like 8 bullet points for “awards” and digging so deep you’re listing “second grader of the month May 1992.”

I usually point to the offending section and ask “what are you trying to tell the person reading this?” And if you cant answer that question it doesn’t need to be there.”

3. That’s important

“My friend had someone come into his work with a resume a few years back, one of the “achievements” he had listed was, “Able to walk extremely long distances without getting tired.” “

4. Punctuation is important

“Not using something as simple as capital letters at the start of sentences. And capitalizing words that do not need to be capitalized.”

5. Russian?

“I had a resume once state for work experience being “Hacker – The Internet.”

Other gems included in the resume were:

“I’ve been both fired and hired for hacking various things,” “I’ve never been convicted of a computer crime”

I will admit it gave me a chuckle but certainly was a deterrent for the job.”

6. SMH

“The other day I had someone list “Pre-School” along with the name of the school under their education section.”

7. Pie chart

“This isn’t common nor should be, but I’m gonna share it anyway. A guy turned in a resume for a sales job with a picture of his face and a pie chart breaking down his “amazing” traits like listening and dedication.”

8. Annoyances

“I’m not a recruiter but I have been in charge of hiring, and I hate objectives. They’re useless and waste space, in my opinion. Also I don’t like repetitive bullet points; if you did the same thing at a bunch of different jobs, mix it up and show me what OTHER things you did at the jobs.

They’re not dealbreakers of course, just annoyances.”

9. I don’t even know what this means…

“I’ve spent years eyeballs-deep in a couple of much-beloved MMOs – I’ve been there, pulled the all-nighters, rolled on the loot, I get it – so I can almost understand the temptation, but please for the love of God don’t start banging on about how leading your guild and planning raid strategies is remotely connected to the job you’re applying for.”

10. Dead links

“I hire a lot of front-end developers and UI/UX designers. About a quarter of the resumes I consider have a portfolio or personal site link that is dead. Make sure your site is live before you send out your resume!”

11. Ridiculous jargon

“Ridiculous corporate jargon – “In my last position, I leveraged synergies between business units to create value and a win-win scenario which empowered other business units to think outside the box and take a deep dive into core competencies to create buy-in and game changing results.” Next.

Unprofessional emails, it takes two minutes to set up a new one, no need to keep the one you set up at 15. If you would be embarrassed for someone to read it aloud in front of a office full of people, get a new one.

Cliche action words with no purpose to them. I’m looking for skills on a CV not to see if you’re a dynamic, friendly person who likes to hang out with friends and go to the movies.

Team player but can work well on my own – we all can a CV can’t prove that.

It takes a recruiter 30secs to read a CV, I want your experience to jump out at me, lengthy, wordy CVs make me want to put it to the back of the pile, I’m not reading 10 pages of a project you did 15years ago whilst on your placement year. If you have the experience I’ll be calling you to find out more, so keep it all relevant and but too the point. 2 pages for a low level role, 4 tops for management.”

12. Wrong industry

“Former recruiter.

The only thing I don’t already see mentioned here already is a mission statement for a totally different industry.

“Looking for an exciting career in zookeeping” while applying to an office job is a great way to see that you’re going to leave as soon as you get the job you ACTUALLY wanted.

To a lesser extent, also really vague mission statements. That shows you have no idea what you want, which can be fine in some contexts, but is going to lose out to someone who knows they want the job in question. If you’re trying to create a generic resume, just leave that bit out. If you know what type of career you’re looking for, it’s maybe worth including.”

13. Don’t “rank” yourself

“This one goes out to you Designers out there. I have worked with some well respected graphic designers throughout University and during my career who have been in the field for many years.

Now as graphic designers, your resume is the recruiters first taste at your design skills. That being said, I’ve seen many new designers put a chart displaying their efficiency in various Adobe or design skills.

For example:

x x x x o – Adobe Photoshop

x x x x x – Adobe Illustrator

x x x o o – Photography

x x x x o – Drawing

Every person Ive talked to who hires designers hates when people do this. Often times you will be doing yourself more harm than good by showing your skillset like this. Simply stating your professional skills and not ranking yourself will always be the better choice. Let your portfolio show your levels of proficiency.”

14. Don’t use that font

“Not common but a couple months ago, this kid applied to my clinic for assistant stuff. The damn thing was in Comic Sans. Yuck.

I actually felt bad so I sent him an email with small pointers and improvements he could do on his resume. Doing my civic duty.”

15. Get it together

“Typos, irrelevant information especially, recently a resume came in that had the person’s name, contact info, high school info, and 1 job experience: McDonalds. The whole resume was 1/3rd sheet of paper.

We loved it, its all we needed to know, compared to Mr. I like to take long walks on the beach. We really don’t have time to read even the page you submit, so if it has to be a page, it better be good.

Also we had a guy send a 5 page resume, which is extreme but it was for a higher position, still 5 pages. The kicker is that one of the pages was a full blown headshot selfie.

He didn’t get a call back.”

The post Job Recruiters Reveal Their Instant Resume Deal-Breakers appeared first on UberFacts.

Students Share the Most Insane Teacher Meltdowns They’ve Ever Witnessed

As if teachers jobs weren’t hard enough, some students make it their personal goal to drive their educators to the brink of insanity. I certainly knew a few teachers in my youth who went off on the class a time or two.

But I don’t think any of them snapped like the teachers in these AskReddit stories.

1. Never saw her again

“Lost it totally in the middle of 4th grade class. Stood in the middle of the room clapping her hands and chanting “I before E except after C!” and would not stop. The music teacher finally came in and led her away, and we never saw her again.”

2. Vietnam vet

“This was years ago, but in high school shop class. Teacher was a grizzly ole Vietnam vet who didn’t take s*** from anyone. For a clearer picture, he liked to start the first day of class talking about safety around tools, gesturing wildly, then proceed to “accidentally” jam a carpenters knife all the way into his leg. Of course it freaked the f*** out of everyone until he showed us it was wooden and it was to show us to always respect the tools or you could easily f*** yourself up.

We had one kid who was always a dirtbag. Constantly talking, distracting other students, talking back, sleeping… just generally being a douchey little “thug”. Well our teacher was going over a project we were gonna start, mousetrap cars. We were gonna be working on them using bandsaws and other dangerous equipment. Kid just lays his head down and starts snoring. He wasn’t really asleep, just being a douche. Teacher set 3 mousetraps, and threw them straight at the kid. 1 clipped his ear, another hit his thumb, and the last missed.

A stunt like that would get a teacher fired nowadays but I’ll tell you one thing, he didn’t act like a douche in his class after that.”

3. Sounds like a wonderful educator

“Oh hang on for the ride. I had a humanities teacher in middle school who would hand out McDonalds applications to students who failed her tests, but that’s kid stuff. A friend of mine cried after a test (middle school hormones) and the teacher told her she was screwed because her only shot was stripping and she’s too fat. But who would believe a teacher said that? The thing that finally got her fired was back to back incidents in which she threw a desk across the room and kicked over a drum a student was carrying from class to class.”

4. Racist

“My 10th grade English teacher had a mental breakdown/racist rant in the middle of class. She’s white and our school population at the time was 76% black. I can’t remember exactly what was said but the teacher made some sly racist comment and no one really caught onto it – except one girl.

When the girl called her out, the teacher just lost her s*** and started babbling on with racist comments. The entire class was in a absolute uproar. Security was called and eventually the police because it kept escalating. Students were actively searching for her throughout the school. That was the last time anyone ever saw her.”

5. A little unstable

“Said she could fly, and challenged us to believe her. When someone tentatively asked her how, she climbed up on the desk and jumped off, flapping her arms. Then she talked about scientific process.

Also owned something like 70 rescue animals. Would bring one in each week on a rotation- hamster, tarantula, etc. Can you imagine how her house smelled?

But she could also be really cool. This poor kid in our class had some serious social disorder that made him really awkward/loud. Some redneck prick kicked him so hard that he got a testicular injury of some sort. I was late to class and didn’t witness it, just the aftermath.

Teacher came into the class and found him curled up under a desk crying. She got him immediate medical attention and then locked the classroom door, turned to us all, and chewed us out until she outed the perpetrator. I have rarely seen an adult be so scary. After the kid got hauled off to the office, she kept us locked in that room, alternately hissing and yelling about violence to others, accountability, standing up for others, etc. She even cried in front of us. No one looked each other in the eye for a long time.

She’s no longer a teacher. Works at the health food store in town.”

6. At least he kept his job

“Six foot five and chubby beloved science-biology teacher in his late sixties who breeds his own lines of roses and other fauna. Played football at collegiate level then fought in a war.

Stupid spoiled redneck sixteen year old that can barely read who has rich farmer grandparents on both sides and thinks he is untouchable.

Teacher calls him in up to his desk and demands his notebook and homework assignments; complete or not.

Idiot grabs teachers ever-present giant coffee mug from the desk. Yells “Sooey pig pig pig!” and splashes coffee in teachers face.

Idiot runs for the door giggling like a madman but doesn’t make it. Gets tossed out of the classroom door so hard he hits the opposite wall in the hall and we hear him squealing and crying down the hall as he is repeatedly caught and kicked in the a** by a giant.

He kept his job.”

7. Father and son duo

“Art teacher threw a metal stool at a student. Soon after he “retired”.

The next art teacher was his son. Who then proceeded to hit on high school freshman and made fun of art work done by special Ed students (to the kids face). He got fired real quick. Father art teacher then harassed the other art teacher in the school, due to his sons termination, which resulted in a restraining order and him being banned from the school property.”

8. Substitute

“We had a substitute teacher in high school one day. It was for the last period of the day too. He was short, stocky, balding, looked similar to George Costanza from Seinfeld.

Anyway, the class is going well, everyones relaxed since we have a sub, the sub was pretty cool. I remember he asked a question about why his head is shiny (because people asked I think) and I was the only one who knew the answer apparently; oils on his scalp, its normal.

I thought we hit it off and it was all good. Anyway, fast forward to the end of the class. Hes writing something on the board and someone throws a balled up piece of paper at him. He gets immediately infuriated. Thinks we’ve been making fun of him the entire time and he’s just been trying to keep his cool. He loses it, he’s throwing chalk and erasers, he shakes and pushes the teachers chair, then he demands that whoever threw it came forward.

This goes on for about 15 minutes before the final bell rings and we’re supposed to go home. I can’t remember if he locked the door or stood in front of it, but he said he’s not letting anyone leave until the person confesses (so he could tell on them.)

The bell rings, nobody confessed yet, we’re all sitting in our seats, hes staring at me like he knows I did it (I didnt do it – im not that much of an a$shole) and I basically talk with him, “You can’t really keep us here forever, if we miss our buses you’re going to be the one in trouble for 30 students missing the bus.” and he still is adamant that nobody is leaving until he gets a name.

I look around the room to see if anyone looks guilty, nobody really does, and I cant think of who would have done it. I don’t have patience when it comes to going home right on time, nor dealing with childish antics. I stand up and put on my bookbag, I say to the substitute, “Yeah, it was me, now can we go?” he lets us leave and writes my name down on a piece of paper.

“YOURE GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE!!” he says as I walk out of the class room with everyone. I just shook my head, because that entire thing makes him look so foolish. My friends are laughing and some ask, “Dude did you throw it?!” “That was awesome!” I just said, “F*** no man, that’s mean, he was a nice dude.”

The next day the real teacher returns and sits me down, “What is this I hear about you throwing stuff at the back of the sub’s head before the end of class the other day?” — Thus I had to explain again that I took the fall for whoever truly did it, because I dont have that sort of patience. And I wasn’t going to have my dad drive all the way to school to pick me up because some teacher had a napoleon complex.

I don’t know if he believed me or not, but it kind of bothered me. I don’t like lying, I don’t like taking the fall for cowards, I don’t like people being mean to other people and bullying, just everything that I hate about humanity happened in that class.”

9. Sounds like it

“Smashed a desk a kid was sitting at in half with a sledgehammer, he was legitimately a great teacher.”

10. Breakdown

“Physics teacher when I was in 12th grade. It was her first year back after being out a few years. No one knew why she had taken several years off. Every class she would spend at least five minutes, sometimes ten or even fifteen, gushing about all of her son’s accomplishments. This woman was really proud of her son. Fine and all but can we learn? She wasn’t even that great of a teacher and the class mostly struggled.

More than halfway through the year someone found out the reason she had taken several years off. Her son was in a horrible accident and had passed away. She had a mental breakdown and couldn’t teach. She talked about her son like he was still alive every day to us. Someone reported it to the school and they made her leave. We got stuck with some unqualified substitute teacher the rest of the year. More than half the class failed the final exam. I myself barely passed with a 70.”

11. At least he apologized

“One kid kept acting up in our grade school class and wouldn’t heed the teacher’s warning to quiet down. So teacher walks casually down the aisle where the kid sat, feigned a trip and elbowed the kid on his head then profusely apologized.”

12. Classy

“In 4th grade, my teacher tried to tell us that ducks can’t float. She claimed ducks feet were always paddling to keep them above water.

My friend and I knew this wasnt correct. My friend told his dad about it after having dinner.

My friends dad told him to tell the teacher she was “full of sh*t.” He had been drinking whiskey and beer as all good dads do.

So ny friend did tell the teacher she was full of shit. In class the next day.

The teacher said…. verbatim “your dad is full of f*cking sh*t” in front of a class of fourth graders.

She got fired.

13. Wow!

“My 8th grade science teacher bit me on the shoulder and left his dentures on me when he pulled his head back.”

14. Tatted up

“Had a teacher who decided he needed a tattoo. He’d never got one before, but now in his 60s he NEEDED one. He came into class one day with this huge bear taking up his entire lower leg. He wore shorts every day which was just awkward.

Then one day he just didn’t come in. Nobody could find him. Turned out, he disappeared up to Alaska like some neurotic supertramp.”

15. A few good ones

“Heh, I have a few that from the same school system.

I witnessed this one first hand but my 10th grade English teacher had a mental breakdown/racist rant in the middle of class. She’s white and our school population at the time was 76% black. I can’t remember exactly what was said but the teacher made some sly racist comment and no one really caught onto it except one girl. When she called her out, the teacher just lost her sh*t and started babbling on with racist comments. The entire class was in a absolute uproar. Security was called and eventually the police because it kept escalating. Students were actively searching for her throughout the school. That was the last time anyone ever saw her.

Our freshmen principal was a weird one with girls. I had seen him a few times doing some odd things such as hugging onto a student or rubbing their back as his hand got lower and lower. About halfway through the year he was gone. Years later I met someone who was a part of administration in my former school system and they told me several girls made sexual harassment claims against him. They did nothing after the first few because there wasn’t any evidence.

A 6th grade teacher got completely hammered before class. Ended up walking out of his class with his shirt off. No clue what happened to him when he walked out but we never saw him again either.”

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Escorts Reveal the Differences Between Attractive and Unattractive Clients

This may not have ever been something you wanted to know, but now that you know it’s out there… aren’t you a little curious?

In this article, AskReddit users who work as escorts explain how attractive and unattractive clients act differently. Interesting…

1. Not relationship material

“My attractive clients are less likely to try to pursue a relationship. Other than that I don’t notice much of a difference.”

2. Looks don’t matter

“How my clients treat me has never something that is connected to how attractive they are. However, I can say that all clients that have genuinely scared me or have been really unpleasant have been older (40s-60s) unattractive men. That’s not relevant though.

There is no such thing as an attractive client in terms of that their looks. I do not want them, I want their money. I’m at work, not seeking sexual pleasure.

There most definitely is a thing which is a good client. A good client is respectful, showers before, doesn’t try to push boundaries and most importantly, treats me like a human but remembers that I’m there because he gives me money. And acts accordingly. Yeah, of course non-gross people (not obese, not too old) are easier, but they’re not “attractive.”

How the client looks or how attractive he is has nothing to do with how I am treated and doesn’t define if I like him as a client or not. It simply doesn’t matter.

A client’s looks don’t matter. We’re not in a relationship or having something that requires genuine lust or want from my side. What matters is how well behaved and respectful they are. You could ask for example a shop keeper if it matters how the person who buys milk and bread from them looks. Let’s start respecting sex work and sex workers as they deserve to be respected, as working people who are doing their job.”

3. Dealing with crap

“You’re making a huge assumption here which is that there’s a wide range of attractiveness in clients. If you want to see what most of my clients look like, Google “middle aged white man” and pick the most average result. Not extremely ugly, but by no means super hot.

That said, my experience is that some clients who think they’re hot (they aren’t) believe that they deserve a discount for it. Apparently the idea is that if I enjoy doing my job I’m entitled to less cash.

It’s these sort of behaviors from clients – flakiness, insisting on discounts, and otherwise being difficult – that ultimately made me leave the profession a year or two ago. For all the money you make per hour there’s several hours of dealing with client crap. The actual work itself was fine.”

4. The whole shebang

“Female escort here, first time posting but I always welcome a chance to share my experiences and shed some light on the job.

I’ve found a lot of my younger and/or more attractive clients are cockier (no pun intended), ruder, and a lot of them want a “adult film star experience” which is just a pain in the butt a lot of the time (again, no pun intended). Obviously this can’t be said for everyone, though; I’ve had plenty of unattractive dudes that were worse.

Regardless of appearance, in my opinion the best clients are:

-Hygienic

-Respectful

-Don’t have sex at all but just pay for company and conversation

The worst clients:

-Are smelly/rude/aggressive/too drunk

-Try to haggle

-Are delusional about their “talents” in the bedroom

-Ask if I have a boyfriend/ask to date me/tell me they love me.”

5. Clingy

“Former escort. Honestly I found my more attractive clients generally better behaved, and more interested in pleasuring me. The unattractive could get pretty entitled and pushy, less thought or care to me enjoying it. Or get very clingy.

I’d say however there was a bigger split by age for behavior. And there were a lot more attractive men using escorts than you’d think, it was just more convenient than online dating for many.”

6. Behave yourself

“It’s more their behavior. I have found suits who are more attractive can be more mean.

But I really go on behavior.”

7. Words from a veteran

“Now, as somebody who worked as an escort for almost a decade, I have to say it’s different for everyone. But the not so attractive ones tend to be… More humble, in a way. Some attractive dudes were cocky as hell. One instance I’ll remember forever is the time one pretty handsome guy said something like ‘You’re lucky to be with me, any woman would want me.’ Like, you hired a sex worker to be with you, when you could’ve gotten together with ‘any other girl.’”

8. Doesn’t matter

“When I was an escort, it didn’t matter how they acted as long as they were respectful of me and they had my money. As long as they weren’t violent I never cared. Ugly men pay more though and are most likely to be a nice regular. The goal of a good escort is to get a group of no nonsense regulars. My regulars kept me paid.”

9. Make that money

“Yeah, that’s the thing- reality tends to be a different from what people tend to imagine. As someone who has actually done it for four years, I can say with absolute certainty that the client’s look don’t matter one bit. I’m not there to “enjoy.” I am not having sex as in enjoying intimacy.

I am giving sex as someone who isn’t me, concentrating 100% on the client and being on my guard all the time. What I care about is making money, as quickly and easily as possibly and keeping myself safe. If by “kind” you mean someone who respect me and my boundaries and acts like he should, that matters.”

The post Escorts Reveal the Differences Between Attractive and Unattractive Clients appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Clever Ways to Get Unwanted Guests out of Your House

Listen, friends are great… but we all need our own space at the end of the night.

It happens to everyone: You invite some friends over for dinner and they stay for a few hours. But when you’re ready for them to leave, they just don’t get the hint. They linger on and on…and your night never ends.

Well, I have good news! AskReddit users were nice enough to share the best ways to get these folks out of your face when it seems like they’ll never leave.

1. Snooze alert

“Start talking about a topic that bores them.

Had that one friend living in the same building and visiting me too often and too long. But she kind of detested video games so whenever I started with “When I was playing Final Fantasy the other day…” she always blocked “Oh, look at the time! I have to go! Bye!” and went home for the day.”

2. The perfect song

“Play ‘Closing Time’ over and over again until they get the hint.”

3. Fight!

“My girlfriend and I always act like we’re getting pissed at each other and about to fight. No one wants to be around that.”

4. A good plan

“Stomach problems. Tell a guest that

“As much as I’d love for you to stay, I’m about to have serious gastrointestinal distress and I’d like you not to have to experience it with me!”

That has always worked for me.”

5. Take the small one

“English here. I have 2 sets of tea mugs in my house, small and large. If someone turns up and I don’t want them to be there long, I give them the small mugs and hope they leave when they’ve finished”

6. The British way

“If you’re British, you wait for any lull in conversation, put your hands on your knees as you stand up and say, “Well then…” “

7. The yawn is key

“Say, “Well, it was great catching up with you.” Stand up, head towards the door. Yawn loudly.

Although one time this didn’t work and I lost it. We had friends come to pick up an item they’d bought. They wouldn’t stop chatting. Oh, the questions about everything. I had an appointment 2hrs drive away and I didn’t want to be late. SO and I finally got them out of the house but they just stood there now talking about different stuff. I’d said I had to leave. Now. That I might be late. I felt panic. “It was great seeing you.” I walked to the car and started getting in. SO was trapped on the doorstep talking to them. I lost it, screaming, “Hurry up (SO’s name), we’re going to be f-cking late. Get in the car, now.” I look up to three shocked faces. SO says, “I’m coming. We’re just saying good bye.” “

8. This is great

“My grandpa used to get up, put on his pyjamas and act surprised that people were still in his living room. Worked like a charm.”

9. Adam

“My sister comes back from university for the weekend and one her friends gave her a lift home, let’s call him Adam. Bare in mind she arrived home at around 4pm. I get home from school around 5 and Adam is still there after inviting himself in as he wanted a quick rest from the 2 hour drive from Birmingham to London.

Anyway, skip forward a couple of hours. It’s 7pm, he’s still there and keeps saying he needs to leave soon as he is having Friday night dinner at his aunties, whilst my mum is cooking for our Friday night dinner. Finally my dad walks in at 7.30 and is greeted by Adam who he has never met before with his hood up and feet sprawled over the sofa. My bald dad asks why he has his hood up to which he responds wittingly with “I didn’t want to make you jealous of my hair.” Dad’s not happy, but laughs it off.

Eventually, Adam asks if he can stay for dinner, my mother being the typical Jewish mother that she is even though she has only cooked for the four of us can’t say no. Now, we don’t have a traditional Friday night dinner it usually last around 45 mins- 1 hour so think he will leave after. Oh, wrong we were, he’s still here at 11pm and not looking likely to leave any time soon.

Eventually, Adam leaves to use the toilet. At which point my dad comes up with an ingenious solution, someone will phone the mobile and he’ll pick up and pretend to be his brother claiming some emergency and we all have to go to his house. So, Adam comes out of the toilet, I ring my dad’s phone, he has a fake conversation with no one and hangs up. He tells Adam we have to go over to my uncles whilst my dad puts on his coat. Adam accepts this and start to get ready to leave.

10 minutes later, Adam is still there ‘getting ready’. This time my dad say we have to leave now and ushered everyone outside, locks the front door and we head to the car. Adam, gets into his car and just sits there. We wait a couple of minutes expecting him to drive off, but he never does, he just sits there looking at his phone. This is getting ridiculous now, my dad turns on the ignition and drives off. We go around the block and drive back up the road, and he is still there. So my dad parks up in the road next to house and wait 10 minutes to go back when he has finally gone.

We had to run away from our own house to get rid of an unwanted guest, because we are too polite to tell him to f-ck off.”

10. Turn up the heat

“My grandfather would always turn up the thermostat so all of the rooms got unbearably hot/stuffy haha.”

11. Infestation

“Scream rat / mouse and run out of the house.

Then when everyone is running out of the house you can run back in and lock yourself in.”

12. Straight to the point

“Tell them to go away.”

13. No job = No responsibilities

“When we have our unemployed friends over, that don’t grasp that we have to get up and go to work in the morning, I will change into my pj’s and start taking off my makeup. That is usually a big enough hint, at least for the women, then they take the guys with them.”

14. Not a bad idea

“Follow Carrie Fisher’s advice. Put on the Star Wars Christmas special.”

15. Time to leave

“Start stacking your chairs onto the tabletops, like you’re in a restaurant at closing time.”

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Don’t Be Afraid of These 7+ Spooky Facts About Halloween

Many people may fight me on this, but I think Halloween is the greatest holiday of all time.

It’s full of fright, phantoms, and fun! Enjoy these 8 facts about the spookiest holiday of them all.

1. I need all of these

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2. Ghostwatch

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3. Unsolved

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4. Candy corn?

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5. Great costumes

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6. Nice little getaway

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7. I did not know that

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8. Transformation

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7 Fascinating Facts About Food We Love

Humans love to eat. It’s almost like we need to in order to live or something…

Dig in to these 7 interesting facts about the food we like to fill our bellies with.

1. Damn right

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2. Turn up the heat!

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3. RIP

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4. Electric chocolate

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5. Foot warmers

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6. That’s a myth

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7. Status symbol

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This Extremely Lucky Mom Will Never Feel Bad Nagging About Car Seat Safety Again

If you’re a mom or have friends who are moms, you’ve definitely seen a picture of a baby strapped into a car seat pop up in your timeline at one time or another. There’s also a good chance you’ve seen one mom comment to another about how their kid is improperly or not safely restrained in their car seat. The straps, the adjustable head support, the clips…it’s a lot to take in when you’re a new parent (which is why you should totally get your local fire department to double check your installation!).

That said, most of us get the hang of things pretty quickly once we’re putting our precious bundle in and out of that seat, sometimes multiple times a day. Other people, though, sometimes don’t quite get why we’re so militant.

I know my parents always want to help by putting the baby in and out of the cars eat, and I know how many times I’ve had to correct them or check again once they’ve got him ready to go – and how many times they’ve exchanged looks, tried to tell me he was in too tight, or probably thought I was over the top.

The same is probably true of mom Rebecca Tafaro Boyer, who replied to this photo her husband sent of their infant son with some “nagging” feedback about how he was strapped into his seat.

She “nagged” him about William’s position in the car seat – the straps were too loose and the chest clip was too low (it should be nipple height), and felt sure that her husband listened and made the corrections.

Later, she would be 100% glad she hadn’t feltbad about her nagging, because the two of them were in an accident.

“David just didn’t have enough time to stop – it could have happened to anyone. He slammed on the brakes at nearly 50mph before colliding with the front passenger side door of her SUV. My precious little bundle of joy was so well restrained in his car seat THAT HE DIDN’T EVEN WAKE UP.”

Her husband and baby went to the local hospital to get checked out, and though William was fine, her husband did suffer a broken foot – but there’s no way to know if that would have been the case had she not asked him to tighten up and re-adjust William’s straps that morning.

“I am so thankful that my husband took the extra one minute that was necessary to put William in his car seat safely. I can’t even begin to imagine how different the outcome could have been. I truly believe that the reason my family is at home sitting on the couch with a pair of crutches instead of down at the hospital is because of my annoying nagging mom voice.”

So if you have one of those (I know you do, it comes with the baby!) don’t be afraid to use it when it comes to your child’s safety. Like Rebecca reminds us in her now viral post, “The car is a loss, but cars can be replaced – my boys can’t!”

No one can, so stay safe out there, friends, and remember that if your car seat has been involved in an accident, it needs to be replaced. Ask your insurance if it’s covered and get a new one!

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Mall Santas Share the Most Disturbing Things Kids Told Them…While on Their Laps

There are likely several perks to being a Santa Claus at the mall or department store. Not only do you get to earn a few extra bucks for the holidays, but kids are adorable and have a way of reminding us what the holiday season is supposed to be about (most of the time).

That said, kids can also be creepy…and sad because the world and adults suck sometimes. Just wait until you see these answers.

#15. Hey, Santa…

“Had a kid ask “Santa, what happens to all the dead kids toys”?”

#14. She does that every year.

“I was Santa for corporate holiday parties one year. I was in my 30s but used a spray for my beard. Looked lifelike, Kids dug it, so did one mom/aunt who threw a kid off my lap (hers, I hope) and whispered that she wanted Santa to fuck her from behind while pulling her hair. She didn’t seem to be drunk. I was very uncomfortable… Then the meeting planner told me she does that every year.”

#13. I wish…

“I wasn’t a santa but my roommate was. This was at a spot in east brooklyn, a super impoverished area riddled with a lot of drugs and violence.

He said it was disturbing how many kids had literally nothing, so they asked for the most basic things. Or they just asked to get out of shitty situations. He said stuff like this was common:

“I wish my mom would stop hitting me”

“I wish my brother was still alive, he got shot”

“I wish we had enough money for a microwave”

“I wish my daddy would stop doing heroin”

stuff like that was everywhere.”

#12. For the venison.

“I wasn’t a mall Santa, but I played one of his elves. I think the worst thing a kid ever asked for was some reindeer sausage. He figured Santa could slaughter one of his reindeer for the venison.”

#11. Creeped the hell out of me.

“Not a mall Santa, but my fire department does a Santa visit to all the houses in my town. We have a few guys dress up as Santa and we drive around going house to house in the fire engines.

One year when I was Santa we go to a house with a married couple and two kids. The woman is clearly pregnant. The daughter, about 10-12, creeped the hell out of me.

I asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she looks at her I assume step mom and says dead pan. “I want the baby to die ”

Jesus christ kid…..”

10. Get the deputy sheriff.

“I have been Santa for several seasons, I had a special needs young woman (approximate age of 40, emotional of 12 perhaps) ask me to make her boyfriend quit hitting her. I told a lady who was helping me to get the deputy sheriff at the event to come see me. I whispered to him what she had said. He came back 10 minutes later and asked if I would speak to her in a private area. There the deputy and Santa got a clearer but very disturbing picture of how she had been repeatedly abused.

In May the deputy let me know the offender had been sentenced to 8 years and the girl had been relocated to new care facility.

Edit: Thank you for the Gold and the praise. The real gold in life comes from doing for those that can do nothing for you.”

#9. A new dad.

“My friend’s dad used to be a Santa. He couldn’t stop crying after a shift one time. When we finally got him to say what was wrong he said a little girl told him she didn’t want any item for Christmas. She wanted a new Daddy who won’t touch her. Her dad was there with her. Friend’s dad had to enact the emergency protocols.

Girl didn’t want to talk to police about it unless Santa was with her. He heard some shit.”

#8. The magic was gone.

“Not me, not creepy, but a bit haunting. My dad used to be the Macy’s Santa (in NY). He had a kid come in who wanted his brothers cancer to go away. Brother came to the store too, a couple weeks later. Of course Santa has no control over these things, but being the Macy’s Santa has some power. He was able to get the store to let them come in at a special time and pick out pretty much whatever they wanted. It was magical, and he still has the pictures. He would regularly write to them as Santa until after the brother died and went to visit him as Santa before he died. Tried to stay in touch with the family but I think it was just too sad and the magic was gone”

#7. They don’t wear any.

“Years ago, I was in line with my 6yo nephew for his visit with Santa. When Santa asked my nephew what he wanted for Christmas, he said, “Could you get Mommy and Daddy some pajamas? Cuz they don’t wear any….” The whole line broke up, including Santa.”

#6. NOPE.

“Former mall Santa, even bought a professional suit because I hated the one they provided. I got a few creepy stories that involves, college students and adults.

Kids: A little girl no more than 5 was screaming bloody murder when it was her turn. Kids get scared of Santa, not that uncommon. Her dolled up mom was having none of her child’s tantrum and the Elves were pleading with her to not put the girl on my lap. She did and at her kid instantly stopped screaming. Just had this look of pure hatred at her mom for the remainder of the photo session. I swear, I thought I was on Candid Camera (before YouTube y’all) it looked so acted out. Attempting to talk to the little terror, I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she looked at me and softly said just above a whisper, “for my Mommy to die”. NOPED myself to a break after that one. It was the inside joke for the rest of the mall Santa season, (whispering between kids) “I want you to die!!!!”

College Students: One rather lonely overweight gal kept getting in line several times a week to get pictures with Santa. I was in college myself back then and I’m pretty sure she was working herself up to asking me out. Extremely shy, awkward and had some hygiene issues. She only paid for one of the photos but the elves remember seeing her throughout the week when I wasn’t on shift. Apparently only got pictures with me.

Adults: I was in my 20’s and the perverted things the MILF’s whispered into my ear while sitting on Santa’s Lap were definitely something for the naughty list to be sure. It became so frequent for the younger santas to get groped, teased and molested that the Elves were told to stay close when adults got their pictures taken. Elf security to be sure.”

#5. Just sad.

“Just sad rather than creepy. Kid came in and wanted nothing except from a Matchbox car. He told me how every week he heard his mom sneak into his bedroom and take the pocket money (that she had given him) to buy cigarettes. I felt so terrible for him that I gave him 3-4 different presents, rather than just 1.”

#4. I broke the poor guy’s heart.

“Not a santa, but I remember being in hospitals a lot as a kid with serious stomach issues. I remember asking a mall santa if I could “get better and not die” once when I was about eight or nine years old. When the mall santa looked at me sadly and said he couldn’t do that, almost in tears, I asked if my old dog that died as a puppy could be brought back as a zombie so “we could both be dead together” and if I could “come back as a zombie too so I could stay with my parents so they wouldn’t be sad”. Looking back, that was really creepy and I think I broke the poor guy’s heart.”

#3. The worst thing.

“My uncle was a mall santa for a while.

He said that the worst thing he was asked for by a child was “Can you get daddy to come home?”

He also had quite a few kids tug on his beard (which was a real beard) to verify that he was actually santa.”

#2. Dream big.

“Never was a Santa, but once while being the Easter bunny I had a kid tell me “I wish I could poop chocolate eggs like you.”

#1. A grim one.

“This is a grim one. My ex’s dad owned a restaurant and I worked there part time in my late teens so I witnessed this. Christmas Eve’s were usually really busy, so to earn more money his wife came up with the idea to pretend to be Santa for a few hours on Christmas Eve and charge something like £2 per kid. This one dad came up to my ex’s dad (my ex’s dad was Santa. Not me) and paid the money for his kid and then went to the toilet with his other child (a baby) leaving the kid with “Santa”. “Santa” asked the kid what he wanted for Christmas, and apparently the kid whispered in to his ear “I want daddy to go away.”.

He asked the kid to explain why, and apparently the dad had beaten up the mother a few hours prior and had locked her in the shed in their back garden, before taking the kid and his baby sister out to eat because they had been crying hysterically and he was worried the neighbours would hear and get suspicious. “Santa” then asked the kid for his address, and told my ex (who worked in the kitchen) to call the police. I think some police went to the house, and then some turned up at the restaurant to arrest the dad. A social worker also came to collect the kids. We never found out what happened to them after that, but it ended up in the local paper and got loads of promotion for the restaurant.

Edit: I mustn’t have made myself clear enough. I wasn’t Santa, I was the waitress who witnessed it from afar (my ex got me a job at his family restaurant). My ex’s dad, aka the owner of the restaurant was Santa. I didn’t realise that this would blow up like it did and I feel like I need to just clarify that.

Edit 2: I love Reddit. You guys have managed to put some kind of magical Disney movie spin on the thouroughly depressing situation which I’d never considered before. Shit this sounds snarky but it’s not. I appreciate it, makes it seem even slightly positive.”

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People Who Grew up in the ’80s Will Love These Memes

The 1980s were a wonderful decade. It’s no wonder people are still nostalgic for the unique styles and sounds.

If you missed it, you blew it! But even if you weren’t there, you’re gonna like these memes that pay homage to that glorious decade.

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