I’m not sure I’ve ever done something in my life that feels like a bigger contradiction than parenting.

I love my kids, but I could use a break. I want to do right by them, but I think I’m doing a terrible job. I want to hold onto them tight forever, but I want to teach them to be independent and happy.

It goes on and on and on, but if one thing is true, it’s that hearing how other parents are also struggling day-to-day can really put things in perspective.

These hilarious and heartfelt tweets definitely did that for me!

16. I’m sure he’ll miss you, though.

At least until he’s old enough to get his own phone.

15. That’s if you’re lucky.

There are obviously fates worse than death, and toddlers know about them all.

14. They are unfailingly honest.

I’m sure the day will come when we appreciate that fact.

13. It makes you feel older than you already do.

What has happened to our once-sharp brains, y’all?

12. So many terrible ways to wake up.

Having to clean the floor is up there, for sure.

11. A more apt observation I have not seen.

Just say no to touching kids, period.

10. Hey, they asked.

But yeah, I think that’s what they meant.

9. It’s important to reward even the inanimate objects in your life.

I mean, it makes as much sense as anything else now.

8. That’s definitely a rule.

Just because you didn’t know it needed to be one doesn’t make it less real.

7. You are raising this girl right.

Or she’s figuring it out on her own, but either way, I’m impressed.

6. Same if you have toddlers and you find only the cap of a marker.

Thank goodness for Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.

5. Some days it’s like their main goal is to drive you crazy.

And most of the time they succeed.

4. As long as she’s happy, right?

And at least lemons smell nice.

3. To be fair there’s not a lot else to do in there.

And you’re making them watch you go to the bathroom so turnabout and all that.

2. I’m ashamed to admit how many times a week I say this.

To the kids AND the dog.

1. I don’t even know why we waste our breath.

I think reverse psychology is a better bet.

 

I’m just buckling up for this ride like the rest of y’all.

Unlike an amusement park, there’s no chicken exit, so hold on tight.

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