People Are Carving up Pineapples Instead of Pumpkins for Halloween

Carving pumpkins is so yesterday. There’s a new way to show off your Halloween spirit: carving pineapples!

It’s true! People are decorating pineapples this Halloween, and I think you’ll be pretty impressed by the results. I wonder how many of these we’ll see on porches this week…

Take a look. Oh, and Happy Halloween!

1. By the beach.

2. Kinda spooky, isn’t it?

3. Just in time for sunset.

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Pumpkins are so last year. Happy Halloween!

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4. Gruesome twosome.

5. All the way from Canada!

6. They are all the rage.

7. Pine-o-lantern.

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#pineapplejackolantern #happyhalloween

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8. This person said it was harder than expected.

9. This one looks very evil.

10. Showing off the finished products.

I was skeptical at first, but they actually look pretty good!

If you have photos of your carved pineapples or any other unusual object, share them with us in the comments, please!

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Desperate-Sounding Officials Are Using Pizza to Help People Understand Russian Election Interference

Let’s be honest: hearing a story (or, in this case, daily stories) about how Russia used bots and trolls and other vague, internet tactics in order to influence an American presidential election can be kind of hard to wrap one’s mind around.

I mean, this isn’t Cold War tactics like nuclear weapons that we can hide from under our school desks to (pretend we can) survive. Without a concrete thing to point to, officials have found it difficult to really present how big of a deal – and how much of a threat – these actions have been and continue to be to our democracy.

In a last-ditch seeming attempt to meet the masses where they live, the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency is relying on pizza to get the message apart.

Because if Americans live anywhere, it’s in a pizza parlor.

The agency created an infographic that they shared in a July 25 tweet that puts the Russian interference in the 2016 election in terms of an ongoing, widespread, and passionate disagreement about whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza.

In a nutshell, we’re to imagine that, instead of using clever tactics to pit Americans against each other when it comes to issues of race, religion, sexual orientation, etc., a foreign power wants to encourage a battle to the death over pineapple.

Image Credit: DHS.gov

“To date, we have no evidence of Russia (or any nation) actively carrying out information operations against pizza toppings. This infographic is an ILLUSTRATION of how information operations have been carried out in the past to exploit divisions in the United States.”

The illustration takes people on a fairly thrilling ride examining how foreign powers like Russia can turn ordinary people against their friends, family, and neighbors.

“Foreign influencers are constantly on the lookout for opportunities to inflame hot button issues in the United States. They don’t do this to win arguments; they want to see us divided.”

Some examples of how they use social media to push further division are given as “Being anti-pineapple is un-American! Millennials are ruining pizza! Keep your pineapple off my pizza! What’s wrong with plain old cheese?”

Basically, the lesson is that you should consume all of your media – especially online media – with a hefty dose of skepticism, and if someone is intent on stirring the pot, make sure to ask yourself what’s in it for them.

Oh, and as for pineapple on pizza? To each her own.

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This New Way to Eat Pineapples Is the Biggest News of 2019

Pineapples are absolutely yummy (unless they’re on a pizza, but that’s a whole other story). Sadly, they’re also kinda hard to eat if you’re actually trying to do it from scratch and not get the syrupy canned versions. Do I peel, then cut? Do I cut, then peel? What’s the best knife for it, and how do I not chop my hand off in the process?

Even if you’re a pineapple-slicing professional, it’s a whole elaborate process. Your other options are to buy pre-sliced pineapple or just… give up on this delicious fruit.

But wait. THERE IS A BETTER WAY. You can apparently just eat pineapple with your bare hands, and honestly, this is the biggest development of the year, as far as I’m concerned!

Photo Credit: TikTok

This pineapple hack comes to the world courtesy of a TikTok user. @dillonroberts22 posted a video that shows someone ripping off individual pieces of pineapple and (really loudly) chomping on them. It’s about 2 seconds long, and those 2 seconds basically changed the world.

The video spread like wildfire on Twitter, where people were genuinely shocked that there is a whole other way to eat pineapple that nobody knew about WTF.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Some people even ventured to try the trick at home, sure that the TikTok video was a hoax. But nope – it’s 100% real, folks.

A few wise Twitter users took everyone else to Pineapple School, where they explained that pineapples actually consist of a whole bunch of berries fused together. Each individual piece is a berry, which is why they can be torn off like that.

Mind blown. It’s almost too good to be true.

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Pineapples Were Once So Expensive, People Rented Them by the Hour

Pineapples are available almost year-round in most grocery stores across the United States these days, but it wasn’t always this way. Pineapples actually have quite a long and storied history. They weren’t always as readily available as they are today, and much like anything that’s simultaneously desirable and scarce, they quickly became a symbol of wealth and status.

Between the 16th and 18th century in Europe, pineapples were actually so rare that they were put on display like fine works of art. It’s hard to estimate how much a single, whole pineapple would have cost in today’s money, guesses range between $5k-$10k – definitely not chump change for something that would eventually rot. So, why was it that valuable?

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

The pineapple is indigenous to South America, which is where Europeans first encountered it. The European royals loved the fruit for its natural sweetness, but having them imported was hit-or-miss. Only the fastest ships (and ideal weather conditions) would deliver the fruit while still edible, while finding a way to grow it back home turned out to be an expensive – and not at all simple – endeavor.

We don’t know who, exactly, was responsible for first growing a pineapple in a non-tropical climate, but the consensus is that it happened in Holland in the late 1600s. The Dutch West India Company had a stranglehold on Caribbean trade that allowed them to import pineapple plants to experiment on, which almost certainly led to them being the first ones to crack the growing-tropical-fruit-in-the-cold problem.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

In fact, Dutch cloth merchant Pieter de la Court invented the hotroom – spaces kept warm and humid – to try and accomplish the task. His design worked, though issues with ventilation, the release of hot fumes, and the stability of soil and air temperatures all presented constant and evolving challenges.

England wanted pineapples, too, and so sent men to Holland in search of the secret to putting the tropical fruit on royal tables on a much more regular basis. It would be many years, however, before a pineapple was grown on English soil – and when it was (around 1715), it was a Dutchman named Henry Telende who accomplished the feat.

His method, which involved a hothouse, special soil, pits lined with pebbles, manure, and tanners bark, was a delicate balance even in the best of times, but once he got it down to a science, more English were able to afford the fruits. But even though pineapples became more available, many nobles still declined to eat something they were spending so much cash on. Instead of serving the fruit to guests, they would display the pineapples around their homes.

For lesser nobles and regular rich people (as opposed to filthy rich people), it became fashionable to rent a pineapple just for a party, then pass it around to others having parties before returning the fruit to the person who could actually afford to eat it (if they so chose).

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

The fact that refined sugar was also a rare and expensive commodity only added to the allure of actually eating the fruit. Charles II was said to love pineapple – both because of its sweetness and partly because he thought the fruit looked to be wearing a tiny crown (he referred to it as “King-pine”).

People remained obsessed with the pineapple well into the colonial period, and you’ll see it carved into any number of wooden and stone pieces in both the old and new world. The fruit remained a symbol of wealth, and eventually morphed into a symbol of hospitality as well.

Fun fact: this is why you’ll still find pineapple designs on bedposts, gateposts, bath towels, and other items often left out for guests.

Fun fact #2: in colonial times, serving a pineapple upside-down cake would be a subtle way of suggesting your guests were overstaying their welcome and should make plans to depart.

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