Category: parents

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Funny Tweets About Parenting Siblings

As someone who grew up in a house with four siblings, I can only imagine the daily hell that we put our parents through, now that I’m older and a little bit wiser.

There were certain days where all five of us kids were fighting, screaming, and threatening to run away. Good times! And I’m sure that my mom and dad were just delighted to be dealing with that kind of BS after working all day to put a roof over our heads and food on the table.

Mom and dad, I apologize and I’m still trying to make it up to you…and yes, I’m still the best child of the bunch.

Parents with multiple kids, these tweets are for you…enjoy.

1. That’s a long story.

Because we love them more than you…

2. It was an accident!

I swear!

3. Let all of them play.

Gonna need to talk to the city about this.

4. Stop it!

You are crossing the line.

5. Middle child gets it again.

It’s the “Jan Brady” syndrome.

6. It’s all mine now.

But I swear it was an accident.

7. Learn from your mistakes.

I mean…your gifts…

8. Not strange anymore.

Never thought you’d be here, did you?

9. All the small things.

Those can really set them off.

10. You’re just not ready yet.

But keep working at it!

11. Honesty is the best policy.

But still…

12. We’ll find him eventually.

Just don’t worry about it, okay?

13. I cannot tell a lie.

Well, they got you there.

Okay, parents, now we want to hear from YOU.

In the comments, tell us how it’s been going since the lockdown started with your kiddos.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Funny Tweets About Parenting Siblings appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Hilarious Things That Were Blurted Out When Children Were Born

For a lot of people, there’s nothing more natural or terrifying than childbirth. Is the baby going to come out alright? Is the mom gonna make it? Will the dad pass out or not?

And when it comes to this Ask Reddit thread… nothing was held back. And I mean… nothing.

Doctors, nurses who deliver babies, what are some strange/funny things people have screamed while giving birth? from AskReddit

From surprise genders to raptor babies to some REALLY inappropriate things… these stories have got it all!

Let’s take a look.

1. Surprises abound!

My dad has told me they thought I was a girl all the way up to birth.

I came out as a c-section and the doctor goes “huh, this ones got extra equipment.”

2. Once you get there…

I am not an obgyn but I was questioning a patient in the ER about some other health problem, she wasn’t carrying at that time. When I got to the part about the gynecological history I asked how many kids did she have and how were they born. She had two kids and were both born with C-section. I should clarify that this was in Spain and the patient was gypsy, now gypsies are not usually well educated and women often marry young and don’t finish school, they also talk weird.

Now, the lady told me she had 2 kids and 2 c-sections and I asked her why she had to deliver by c-section she said because the first kid was a “come coño”.

Well, this can be translated as “p*ssy eater.” This lady was convinced that her first child was going to eat her pussy and had to be taken out before he did.

You can imagine my surprise.

At first I didn’t understand and left the room after the questioning still puzzled. I went and started digging in her file and found out that the c-section had to be done because after she broke water the doctors noticed the amniotic fluid was filled with baby sh*t, usually when a baby shits in-utero, it is a sign that the baby is suffering and has to come out quick, that was why she had a c-section. Now here is why it is funny:

  1. In-utero baby shit is called meconio.
  2. The doctors probably told this lady that she had to get a c-section because the baby comes with meconio
  3. Comes with meconio = “viene con meconio” in spanish.
  4. “Viene con meconio” sounds a lot like “viene comecoño” (p*ssy eater)
  5. Imagine being told your whole life that your mom had to get a c-section because you were going to eat her p*ssy when you actually almost died at childbirth.

I know it must not be that funny in English but I did my best translating it and hope some of you see how funny it was for me.

3. Well, that happened!

One lady was too posh to swear when in pain from contractions, she just said “jeepers creepers.”

4. Haha… can you imagine??

When I was born, my dad didn’t know that babies are usually born face down.

And as I was coming out he screams “OH MY GOD SHE DOESN’T HAVE A FACE.”

5. Let’s go higher!

I was high on meds at the time, I was begging for BBQ ribs in between contractions.

“C’mon, honey! The nurses will never know!”

They were standing right there.

6. Oh snap… that’s hilarious

Apparently, when my aunt was giving birth, she was all jokes.

Very angry jokes, but jokes none-the-less.

KNOCK-KNOCK! WHO’S THERE?! THE BABY! NOT YET!

7. Dino baby!

Not a doctor, but a father.

When my first child was born his head was kind of misshapen, and when the doctor lifted him up to show my wife she yelled “why the f*ck does he look like a raptor?”

I lost it.

8. Perfect timing

EMT who did a birth on the side of the road.

Woman shouted “f*ck me!” during a contraction and the husband casually replied “that’s how we got into this mess, dammit!”.

I had a very hard time containing myself.

9. Nope! Time to go!

Patient fully dilated, started pushing, then changed her mind. “I don’t wanna do this, I’m going the f*ck home.”

And then tried to get off the table.

10. Haha… gurl…

When my sister was in labor, she was screaming and our mom was trying to be comforting:

“It’ll be OK. Take some deep breaths. It’ll be over soon.”

Then my sister looks up at our mom and says “You have no idea what this is like.”

11. It’s not a tumor!

Paramedic here: Delivered a baby for a lady who did not realize she was pregnant and called us for ‘abdominal pain’

Patient: ‘You are an idiot! I am not f*cking pregnant’

Me: ‘Well, I can see a head crowning’

Patient: That must be a f*cking tumor!

The tumor was a healthy baby girl. Mom was totally sweet afterwards btw.

12. Bad timing…

My roommate and I just finished our labor and delivery rotation in July.

During one of the births she was helping out in, the mom and the dad were separated but still good friends. So while this woman is pushing out her baby she begins to half tell/half scream that my roommate should date her ex/the baby daddy. The conversation went something like this:

Mom: You should really….(screams in pain)….go out with….(Screams again) him sometime. He’s really fun.

Dad: I wouldn’t mind some drinks sometime, what are you doing this evening?

No, she did not go out with him.

13. Is that even possible?

I’m white, Irish ancestry so I had red hair when I was a child, and my wife is black.

Her sister was also in the delivery room. When the baby crowned her sister told her she could see the baby’s hair. My wife who can barely breathe blurted out, “The hair isn’t red is it?!”

Apparently she was terrified the baby would be black with red hair.

14. She’ll never live that down

My mothers labour was extremely short, I was born within an hour. So that means that she went from experiencing minimal pain, to extreme pain with little time to adjust.

When my dad was driving her to the hospital, he unfortunately had to stop for gas. He went into pay, and just then an elderly man in a wheelchair stopped him, asking him to buy cigarettes for him as the store was not wheelchair accessible.

My mom then proceeded to lean out the window, yelling “DON’T HELP THE CRIPPLE.”

We have never let her forget that one.

15. Get the tongs!

When my brother was born, they had to use forceps to get him out.

My mom saw them and screamed “THOSE ARE SALAD TONGS! YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ANY GODD*MN KITCHENWARE IN THERE!”

I am seriously crying laughing. The things people say at their most vulnerable are comedic gold, right?

Do you have a story as crazy/silly as this? Let us know in the comments!

The post People Share the Hilarious Things That Were Blurted Out When Children Were Born appeared first on UberFacts.

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Parenting Tweets for All the Moms and Dads Out There Who Need a Break

Hey, moms and dads, how are you doing?

Does this never-ending lockdown and the learning-from-home thing have you at the end of your rope? Or are you dealing with it just fine?

Either way you look at it, parenting is a tough gig and moms and dads all over the place know that those little angels have a tendency to drive you up the wall…even when they put on their sweetest face.

Parents, we have a feeling that these tweets will look very familiar to you…let’s take a look.

1. Let’s stop playing the Guessing Game.

At least for a few hours, please?

2. It’s like Maximum Overdrive.

The machines are rising up against us!

3. He’s catching on really fast.

You’re doing a great job!

4. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Smart kid, right there.

5. It’s not working.

Time to figure out a new technique.

6. What a cute name!

This is why you don’t let kids name ANYTHING.

7. Things are about to get LOUD.

You need to stop this before it starts.

8. It’s all going in there, baby!

It really doesn’t matter anymore.

9. It’s way too early to deal with you.

Come back in a few hours.

10. That sounds awesome!

Aren’t you having a blast?!?!

11. We are all this baby right now.

Oh, what a year it’s been…

12. A creepy whisper.

Just give him what he wants.

13. What kind of sandwich, though?

That makes all the difference.

Okay, moms and dads, now we want to hear from you. Yeah, you!

In the comments, please tell us how it’s going in your household right now.

Are your kids driving you nuts or are you currently involved in an uneasy truce?

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Parenting Tweets for All the Moms and Dads Out There Who Need a Break appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Posts About the Many Joys of Having Kids or Something Like That

Have kids, they said…it’ll be fun, they said…were they right, though?

Well, here we are, parents, and what do you have to say for yourselves NOW?

Are you having fun? We kid, we kid…we know your kiddos are the light of your life, but still…you have to admit that they tend to drive you insane.

Especially during this pandemic when we’re all forced to be on top of each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Am I right, or am I right?

I think I’m right.

So why don’t you take a much-needed break, go to a quiet place, and enjoy these memes before the madness starts all over again…because we all know that it’s coming.

1. They’re not great at it.

Learn to hide better! Jeez!

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. This is who I am.

Deal with it!

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. That was incredible!

How did you do that?!?!

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. This is gonna be ugly.

Ummmm, where do I start?

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. What are you doing in here?

This room is now off limits!

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Can I have a little space, please?

In other words, out of my face!

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. Not gonna happen!

It’s going to be a very long day.

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. Are you sure about that?

Your body language is telling me otherwise.

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. Thanks a lot, Grandma.

Now they’ll be up for three days straight.

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. I guess I’ll sleep on the floor…

You don’t have a choice.

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. Laying out their case.

Ain’t that the truth?

Photo Credit: The Chive

12. Don’t do this!

Under any circumstances!

Photo Credit: The Chive

13. Take your time…

What’s taking you so long!

Photo Credit: The Chive

14. It might be a while.

So don’t hold your breath.

Photo Credit: The Chive

Now it’s your turn.

Have your kids been driving you crazy lately? What have they been doing to get on your last nerve?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post Hilarious Posts About the Many Joys of Having Kids or Something Like That appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Tweets From Parents Who Just Needed to Vent a Little Bit

This sure is a tough time, isn’t it, moms and dads?

You’re stuck at home with the kids. Remote learning is taking up all of your time. The young ones can’t see their friends, so it’s up to you to keep them entertained…and the list goes on and on…

So that’s why it’s important to take to Twitter sometimes so you can vent about your kids or at least provide your fellow parents with some comedy relief…and I have a feeling that they’re really glad it’s not happening ot them…

Enjoy these funny parenting tweets while you have a few minutes of alone time!

1. This is very smart.

I gotta say, I’m impressed.

2. But those are the only things.

Otherwise, I’d be doing it.

3. Take it or leave it.

What do you want from me?

4. Maybe next week?

Don’t ask me that again!

5. No, don’t worry about it?

Just let it go.

6. Let’s go back to your original question.

In other words, let’s talk about death.

7. Thank you for that.

Very sanitary, don’t you think?

8. Might be time for therapy.

There’s a lot going on here…

9. That IS really cute!

How adorable is this kid?!?!

10. Life not imitating art.

That’s too bad.

11. I didn’t do anything…

You’ll get yours soon enough…

12. You did what you had to do.

 

Okay, parents, now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please tell us how it’s going in your household with your kids right now.

We can’t wait to hear from all of you out there!

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Do You Think You Had Strict Parents? Take a Look at These Rules That People Had to Follow When They Were Young.

I was the fourth kid out of five born in my family so, while my parents were definitely strict about some stuff, I had it MUCH easier than my older siblings.

Looking back on it, they were probably just tired and worn out by the time myself and my younger brother came around and didn’t want to deal with every single thing they’d already dealt with three times before.

And who can blame them?

But there were definitely a lot of rules and if you broke them, you were in trouble.

People took to Twitter to share the weird rules they had to follow when they were growing up.

Let’s take a look.

1. No gang activity in this house.

This had to have been the early 1990s.

2. Grease is a Satanic film.

And Rizzo was Satan.

3. How am I supposed to read this?

Come on! A little help!

4. A lot of food rules.

Were you allowed to speak?

5. Start over.

Do the whole thing again.

6. I broke my brain!

None of that devil music around here!

7. Never-ending rules.

That must’ve been a huge rule book.

8. That is weird.

I can think of things that look trashier.

9. You know the rules!

Even Frosted Flakes?

10. My friend…

This is perfectly normal behavior.

11. Time to sharpen up.

But you better be careful…

12. Sounds a little fishy…

And I can see why you’re confused.

Were your parents strict when you were growing up?

What kind of rules did you have to follow?

Talk to us in the comments! We’d love to hear from you!

The post Do You Think You Had Strict Parents? Take a Look at These Rules That People Had to Follow When They Were Young. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Do You Think You Had Strict Parents? Take a Look at These Rules That People Had to Follow When They Were Young.

I was the fourth kid out of five born in my family so, while my parents were definitely strict about some stuff, I had it MUCH easier than my older siblings.

Looking back on it, they were probably just tired and worn out by the time myself and my younger brother came around and didn’t want to deal with every single thing they’d already dealt with three times before.

And who can blame them?

But there were definitely a lot of rules and if you broke them, you were in trouble.

People took to Twitter to share the weird rules they had to follow when they were growing up.

Let’s take a look.

1. No gang activity in this house.

This had to have been the early 1990s.

2. Grease is a Satanic film.

And Rizzo was Satan.

3. How am I supposed to read this?

Come on! A little help!

4. A lot of food rules.

Were you allowed to speak?

5. Start over.

Do the whole thing again.

6. I broke my brain!

None of that devil music around here!

7. Never-ending rules.

That must’ve been a huge rule book.

8. That is weird.

I can think of things that look trashier.

9. You know the rules!

Even Frosted Flakes?

10. My friend…

This is perfectly normal behavior.

11. Time to sharpen up.

But you better be careful…

12. Sounds a little fishy…

And I can see why you’re confused.

Were your parents strict when you were growing up?

What kind of rules did you have to follow?

Talk to us in the comments! We’d love to hear from you!

The post Do You Think You Had Strict Parents? Take a Look at These Rules That People Had to Follow When They Were Young. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Parents Who Are Craving Some Alone Time: These Tweets Are for You

From the reports I’m hearing from various friends of mine, I’ve learned two things lately…

One: every single person with kids is about to lose their shit because we’ve all been trapped together with our families for months now.

Two: moms and dads really haven’t been able to have ANY alone time at all. And I’m not even talking about with each other, I’m talking about people spending time on their own, alone, enjoying a few moments of peace.

But, by the sounds of it, they definitely need it now more than ever.

Let’s check out these tweets from parents who could really use a little time by themselves.

1. That oughta keep ’em occupied.

At least for a little bit, right?

2. That’s a wild joke that will never happen.

Trust me on this one.

3. Problem solved.

You got nothing to worry about!

4. Not a good idea.

Next time, consider your options.

5. This sounds like paradise.

Am I dreaming?

6. Yes, you must leave.

And take your time!

7. LEAVE ME ALONE.

At least for a little while.

8. It doesn’t exist anymore.

But you can hope for the future…

9. That is a good plan.

And you’re damn right! It sounds glorious!

10. Too late for that.

Any other ideas?

11. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Don’t blow this opportunity.

12. We all knew it wasn’t going to happen.

But we can all wish…

Parents, we sincerely hope that you get some much-deserved alone time very soon.

But before that happens, tell us how it’s going in your household right now. Are you losing your mind? Barely holding on?

Are the kids behaving or are they climbing the walls?

Tell us everything in the comments!

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post Parents Who Are Craving Some Alone Time: These Tweets Are for You appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Tweets From Parents Who Really Need Some Alone Time

Parents, are you craving a little quiet time right about now?

It’s especially tough to do right now because of this lockdown that has everyone crammed into close quarters with their families for months on end.

Two words sum up the whole experience: NOT COOL.

We all need alone time and parents especially need some alone time once in a while. But, as you know, it can be tough for them to get any kind of silence.

Parents, these tweets are for you.

1. Take over that fort!

Teach them a lesson.

2. Hey, that’s pretty good!

Pay attention to this mom’s advice.

3. The only quiet place.

You gotta do what you gotta do.

4. No more sunshine, please!

I can’t take this much longer!

5. Just do what you need to do.

And try to keep them occupied!

6. You’re not alone…

The baby in your stomach knows…

7. You’re preaching to the choir.

And, by the way, it’s not gonna happen.

8. Silence is golden.

And that’s the best reward anyone can ask for.

9. A vicious cycle.

But, what are you gonna do?

10. Words to live by.

You deserve it!

11. Here comes a meltdown.

I’m warning you!

12. That’s not a bad idea.

Give it a shot. See if it works.

13. A brilliant maneuver.

Why didn’t I think of that…

Okay, now we want to hear from all the moms and dads out there.

Are you going nuts right about now with absolutely no peace and quiet? How are you getting your alone time? Are you getting ANY alone time?

Talk to us in the comments.

Please and thank you!

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Funny Tweets From Parents That We Think You’ll Enjoy

Parents…we feel your pain right now.

Everyone has been crammed together for so long that we’re all going a little crazy. And the kids…oh, those kids.

Aren’t they just delightful when they’re not allowed to do anything with their friends?

We all know that the statement above is meant to be sarcastic, right?

Parents, read through these funny tweets and at the very least, you’ll realize that you are not alone in your madness right now.

1. That’ll show him!

You gotta mess with them a little bit. Trust me.

2. That is a brilliant strategy.

Now is the time to turn it around.

3. Just let him be.

Being a superhero takes a lot of work.

4. Dammit! Knew that was gonna happen.

Are we missing anything else?

5. I think about 85% of people on the road are doing this.

Are you one of them? Don’t lie!

6. Planting people all day.

Kind of cool name, though…

7. Why the hell not?

What do you have to lose?

8. It can always get worse.

MUCH WORSE.

9. Same here…

Do you think she’ll listen to you?

10. They are remarkable.

And you never know what’s next!

11. This is great!

Giving the mascot the third degree.

12. Pass the Farmer John, please.

Just go with it and don’t tell her until she’s a teenager.

13. You’ll learn this lesson. 

One way or another…

Are those accurate, or what?

I think we all know the answer to that…

Moms and dads: now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us how parenting during the lockdown is working for you.

We want to hear it all!

The good, the bad, and the very, very ugly!

The post Funny Tweets From Parents That We Think You’ll Enjoy appeared first on UberFacts.