18 Pieces of Parenting Advice From a Dad

Parenting is tough, and even though there is plenty of advice that applies across the board, the truth is that being a dad and being a mom really are different gigs.

If you’re a new dad or a dad who’s having a rough day, week, or teenage years, well, sometimes you just need a word of advice from dads who have been there and survived.

Here are 18 bits of advice if you’re in that place right at this very moment.

18. A spoonful of sugar

“When kids are young, you can convince them anything is fun. So, while you can’t have them scrub the floor, you can have them do little stuff, like matching the Tupperware lids to the containers.

My three-year-old loved to do that. This one came from my mom, who told me she used to have us clean out the refrigerator every week. She told us it was a game, and we totally bought it.” 

—Isaac, 32, Minnesota

17. Be specific when you want their help

“Don’t just say, ‘Your room is messy!’ You have to be specific.

Tell your kids about the dirty clothes on the floor, the empty water bottles all over, and the unmade bed. Messy is such a subjective word. What’s messy to you might not be messy to your kids, your spouse, or anyone else. So you have to articulate exactly what is unacceptable, and why.

When I was a kid, I didn’t mind doing chores because my mom was so specific. I always knew exactly what had to be done. She said doing it that way helped keep her sane, too.”

Adam, 36, New York

16. Don’t accept disrespect

“My grandfather never, ever let us disrespect him. Even if we were just playing around.

When I asked him why, he asked me if I loved him. I told him I did, very much. He said, ‘If you disrespect someone you love, what will keep you from doing it to anyone else?’

He was a Marine, so he commanded respect. And he knew how important it was to being a good person.”

Jim, 42, New York

15. Embrace natural consequences

“It’s like the difference between telling your kids not to put their hands on a hot stove, and them learning how much it hurts by actually doing it.

My sister is a teacher — and a mother — and she told me this when my son started getting a little older. ‘Natural consequences’ are like breaking your hand if you punch a wall, or burning your mouth if you eat pizza right out of the oven. Obviously, you don’t encourage your kids to do stuff like that just for the sake of learning what hot pizza feels like.

It’s more of a ‘What did you think was going to happen?’ teachable moment.”

James, 37, New York

14. Discipline is about teaching, not punishing

“If you punish a child without teaching them a real lesson, you’ve done nothing to help them grow.

A friend of mine told me that when I became a dad. He had a son who was about 10, and he expressed the importance of making discipline and punishment into two separate things. Discipline is the act of exploring what someone did wrong, and punishment is the consequence for that action.

You can’t just ground a kid and expect him or her to grow.”

Chuck, 29, California

13. All or nothing can be okay

“Give your kids 100 percent of your attention, or none of it at all until you can. Kids know when they’re being ignored.

Even worse, though, they know when they’re being dismissed. So, if you’re able to ask them to wait while you take a phone call, or whatever, instead of half-assing a conversation with them, you’ll both be able to give it 100 percent. I was raised by my grandmother, so she was really old school about that sort of thing. Look each other in the eyes, and connect.

She told me that those conversations with us were some of her fondest memories, so I try to do that as much as I can with my kids.”

John, 37, Ohio

12. They remember the little things

“Some of the best memories I have of growing up were when my mom and dad used to come surprise me at school and take me out to lunch.

We’d go to Burger King for the onion rings, and then to Dairy Queen  for a cherry slush. It didn’t happen regularly, which is what made it so special. It was almost better than birthdays. When I asked why they did it, they told me they needed a break from their days, and they wanted to spend it with their favorite person.

That meant so much to me.”

Edward, 37, West Virginia

11. Be careful what kind of relationship you model in front of the kids.

My mother used to get so upset when she would be disciplining us and my dad would walk in and interrupt. She taught me that parents have to be a united front.

If you don’t agree with something your spouse is saying, that’s okay. But deal with it after he or she has set the rules with the kids. Of course, this doesn’t apply to anything harmful or dangerous toward your child. But a new parenting style, or discipline policy can be discussed in private. My parents told me that they made a point to never let us see them argue.

Instead, they’d tell us they had an argument, and then explain how they worked it out. It impressed the importance of communication on me at an early age.”

Charles, 35, California

10. Interested is interesting.

“I learned this from a movie, actually.

It basically means that the best way to make yourself interesting is to become interested in someone else. Listen to their story. Ask questions. Make them feel important. The best thing I’ve done as a parent is to become actively interested in my kids’ lives. And it’s genuine, too. I want to know what they like, what they don’t like, what they think is funny, what stresses them out…everything. The movie was Loser with that kid from American Pie.

Easily the most random pearl of wisdom I’ve ever collected.”

Chris, 37, Ohio

9. Let your kids struggle.

“It’s hard, but my dad said some of his favorite memories of me growing up involved watching me struggle and then succeed.

There were so many times, he said, where he wanted to jump in and help, but held back and let me figure something out on my own.

He said it was so difficult, but so, so rewarding.”

Jared, 34, California

8. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

“The real goal of parenting is to try and help your kid try and figure out who he or she is.

Learn who that is — who your kid is at his or her core, heart, and soul — and encourage the best version of that. The actual mechanics of parenting — bedtimes, cleaning your plate, etc. — really don’t have much to do with that. I asked my mom her strategies on stuff like that once.

She said, ‘I don’t fucking remember. I just wanted you to be happy, safe, and kind.’”

Ethan, 35, Connecticut

7. Teach healthy boundaries.

“I learned to share, but I also learned not to share.

When I was about 7 or 8, my dad told me that it was nice to share my toys, but it wasn’t necessary. That it would make other people happy, but that it was okay to protect my things. I try to preach that to my kids, too. They’re so naturally generous that I want to make sure they know that it’s okay to keep things for themselves. Especially things they’ve worked for, or earned.

It didn’t make me selfish, just better at creating healthy boundaries.”

Stephen, 37, Washington, D.C.

6. Pick your battles.

“This is another way of saying ‘pick your battles’. You just have to.

My wife taught me this one. It’s sort of her mantra, even beyond raising kids. You’re going to have stress in life. That’s obvious. Some stress is primary — your kid gets sick, you lose your job, and stuff like that. But other stress is usually secondary, and you don’t need to deal with it right away. Sometimes not at all.

If you can choose which situations you actually allow to stress you, you can do a much better job managing being a parent.”

Joel, 30, North Carolina

5. Always say I love you.

“Just don’t waste a single chance to tell your kids they love you. Even if it embarrasses them. And even if it’s a thousand times a day.

It’s terrifying and morbid to say, but you never know if you might be speaking to someone for the last time. You just never know. So, no matter what, no matter if we’re or angry, or exhausted from laughing, we always end every conversation with ‘I love you’.

It’s a tradition my mother and father taught me when I was a kid, and it’s a good one.”

Hayden, 36, Toronto

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

“I was amazed at how willing a random, fellow dad was to help me deal with a diaper issue in a Target bathroom.

I was a new dad, and a friend of mine — also a dad — said that asking other dads for help is par for the course, within reason. This was completely out of reason. I mean, a dirty diaper? But the guy pitched in like it was his own kid. I was blown away and humbled. And I’ve paid it forward several times.

Luckily, no random dirty diapers, but I’m not shy about pitching in if I see another dad struggling to carry groceries, or something like that. We’re in this together, right?”

R.J., 26, Louisiana

3. No one can argue with a medical degree.

“This one works with intrusive in-laws and annoying friends.

Whatever opinions they have that don’t mesh with your parenting style can be instantly negated by saying, ‘Oh, well, the doctor told me to do it this way. So…’ They might push back, but you’ve got credibility on your side. Even though it’s made up.

Ya know who told me to do that? The doctor.”

Dylan, 34, Nevada

2. Let them know emotions are normal.

“As a kid, emotions are scary because they’re so unfamiliar. You know the basics — happy, sad, scared, etc.

But, when you start having more complex emotions, you really struggle to identify them. Being a parent, if you can use words like ‘confused’, ‘aggravated’, and ‘overwhelmed’ in front of your kids to describe your emotions, they’ll become better at doing it themselves.

I’m a parent, but I’m also a teacher, so I credit one of my college professors with that nugget. It’s absolutely true.”

Ian, 34, Arizona

1. Show affection, and not just to the kids.

“My mom and dad were very affectionate. And I remember it fondly.

I remember my dad sneaking kisses here and there, and my mom hugging my dad whenever she got the chance. Even when they weren’t at their best, it was clear that they were so in love. And that always made me feel safe as a kid. Like things would always be okay, thanks to the power of love.

I brought it up once, and my dad almost didn’t even realize he did it. He just said, ‘I love your mother so much. I’m not embarrassed to show it.’”

Marcus, 36, Texas

I’m not a dad, but I can tell you that good advice is precious and should be filed away for a rainy day.

What’s the best advice you’ve gotten from another dad? Share it with us in the comments!

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These Memes Will Speak to You If You Have Kids

Being a parent can be exhausting. The hard work never ends, the kids don’t appreciate it (until they’re older… maybe), and you sometimes look to the heavens and cry to relieve some of the stress.

But, hey, it’s all worth it, right? RIGHT!

Here are some funny parenting memes for all the moms and dads out there.

1. My time is now.

Photo Credit: someecards

2. Do whatever you want.

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3. About to have a meltdown.

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4. You made the right choice.

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5. I’m here for you!

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6. Do not judge.

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7. Even for two minutes…

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8. Need a breather.

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9. Like a little goblin.

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10. You’re still a mess.

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11. An ancient ritual.

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12. That would be a NO.

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13. I need four more hours.

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I do not have children, but even I thought those memes were pretty hilarious.

What about you, moms and dads? Do these memes ring true?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments, please!

Oh, and keep up the good work!

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Hilarious Memes About the Ups and Downs of Having Kids

Highs and lows.

This describes a lot of things in life and parenting is definitely one of them. But look at it this way: you’re raising the future leaders of the world! Actually, maybe don’t look at it like that because panic may set in…

You know what? Just sit back, relax, and laugh at these funny memes about having kids.

1. What a life!

Photo Credit: someecards

2. Not gonna happen.

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3. Completely deflated.

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4. Please leave now!

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5. He’s right, you know…

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6. It’s starting…

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7. I’ve seen this before.

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8. The demon child.

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9. Not as much fun as it looks.

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10. Must not have had kids.

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11. Okay, that’s enough.

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12. Don’t do it!

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On-point parenting memes, in my humble opinion.

Parents, how are you holding up?

In the comments, tell us some funny and crazy stories about things that those little devils have done recently. Please and thank you!

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Funny Tweets About Self-Care From Parents

When you’re single and you don’t have kids, you may think your life is busy and you have no time for taking care of yourself

But when you have kids? You’re in for a whole new world, my friends. A walk from the living room to the bathroom might be the only exercise you get during a week filled with family obligations.

Parents are still trying to practice self-care in their own unique ways, though.

And here are some funny tweets about it.

1. That’s what it’s called.

2. I totally get it.

3. Sleep is all you need.

4. Whatever works.

5. It’s a fun game!

6. All of the above.

7. Looks like she’s killin’ it.

8. That’s all you get from now on.

9. The ultimate checklist.

10. DON’T DO IT!

11. Whole lot of screaming going on.

12. You might be on to something.

13. Some truth right here.

14. The master plan.

15. That will also work.

Hey, self-care is important, right? No matter how small the doses are…

Parents, we want to hear from you!

Tell us how you break away if even for a second to have a little time to yourself. Let’s hear from you in the comments!

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Putting A Leash On Your Kiddo Might Have More Upsides Than You Realize

There are a bunch of things I said I would never do as a parent before I became one – and one of those things is putting a leash on my kid.

I mean, from the outside, it just looks sort of degrading, doesn’t it? Like you’re treating your precious baby like an animal? Or perhaps like you’re unable to keep track of your own child, like maybe you’re too busy looking at your phone to keep tabs?

Believe me, I had all of those thoughts as a non-parent, but now that I’m the proud owner of not one, but two toddlers, I can tell you two things for sure: they’re faster than you would believe, and the fear of losing them in public is bring-you-to-your-knees terrifying.

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And hey – it turns out that using a leash might not warp them forever, either, according to child therapist Brooke Sprowl.

“As a child therapy expert, my sense is they don’t cause any real psychological harm and that our strong reactions to them are more about cultural norms than about any actual or lasting effects on the child’s psychology. Of the scarce research that has been conducted, none suggests that child leashes do cause physical or psychological harm.”

Basically, as with most things in life, children as blissfully unaware of how judgmental other people are…until the sad, inevitable day that they’re not.

“If it were culturally normative to leash children I don’t think anyone would have such a strong reaction to them and I can’t imagine children themselves expressing shame or humiliation about being leashed. If that were happening, we would know, and it would be a different story,” Sprowl adds.

She also thinks that for parents of children with special needs, or who have a bunch of kids, or parents who own that one little one who likes to sprint for freedom whenever he or she gets the chance, leashing can be a great and effective way to keep children safe.

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Shelli Dry, a pediatric therapist, agrees – though she does have some additional thoughts.

“The first area to consider would be the purpose of the tether. Is it required for safety in an impulsive child or a child with special needs? When safety is a concern, it should take priority, however there are guidelines that should be followed.”

Janice Robinson-Celeste, chimed in with her agreement as well in an interview with Romper.

“As an early childhood specialist and a parent, I’ve used a ‘leash’ for one out of three of my own children because she was the one that could not be contained in one area. It is a safety precaution and is often necessary. I would rather her be on a safety harness than run into open traffic or off of a pier into the ocean. Many times these restraints help children who are perfecting walking to prevent terrible falls and head injuries. There were many times that I lifted my child mid-fall with these straps as if she was a marionette and prevented her from hitting her head on the pavement.”

The harnesses generally come in cute styles like animal backpacks or fairy wings, designs that young children would be excited to wear, and as long as no one acts like there’s something wrong with it, they’ll happily slip it on the next time you’re going to the zoo, a parade, a theme park, or somewhere else it can be stressful to think about not losing your child.

Dry reminds us to use them correctly, though, and to never pull or tug, or otherwise do something that “could lead to injury and harm to the child. The danger with wrist tethers are that the child could pull away sharply and injure their shoulder or arm. Safer alternatives to the wrist tether would be the harness backpacks or a walking handle in which the child learns to hold a loop or plastic handle.”

Also, Dry suggests using something like this, whether because of safety concerns, or for a child with special needs, or to assuage your own anxiety, as a teaching moment.

“Using a tether with a younger child should be a communication tool and teaching method to help children learn to stay beside their parent or caregiver,” says Dry. “The parent should express the loving desire to keep their child close by at all times. When the child learns to walk alongside the parent, than the use of the tether can be faded. In other words, use of a tether when used short term and in a loving manner as a teaching tool and for safety in a young child should not have a negative effect on the child.”

Here’s the thing: even though you know that you’re doing it for the right reasons and you’re sure you’re not harming your child, you might still get disapproving looks from perfect strangers.

Do what’s right for you and yours, and ignore the people who think they can pass judgment on someone they pass randomly in the street.

And welcome to parenthood…

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These Funny Tweets Should Be Right up Your Alley if You’re a Parent

There’s seems to be a never-ending supply of hilarious parenting tweets. You know why? Because raising kids is hysterical and full of ridiculousness.

Take these 15 tweets for example…you’ll see what I mean.

1. You might get to read two pages.

2. That bad, huh?

3. Sure he is…

4. You are a LIAR!

5. The perfect spot.

6. It’s gonna be a long year.

7. Sounds awesome.

8. Is it called ‘parenthood’?

9. Yes, I’m your grandma.

10. Things look out of place…

11. A constant struggle.

12. Just roll with it.

13. Didn’t go as planned.

14. World War II took place in the ’90s.

15. Where did this come from?

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Very accurate, methinks.

Are you a parent? Do these tweets speak to your soul?

Tell us a funny story about your little rugrats in the comments!

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Making Children Say ‘I’m Sorry’ Can Seem Meaningless. Try This Instead.

We’ve all seen this, and a lot of us have done it. A small child does something hurtful on accident and, upon a stern look or ‘what do you say?’ from a parent, mutters a quick ‘sorry’ before moving on with whatever they were doing. But while it’s good to teach children manners, are they really learning anything? Are they actually sorry, or are they just doing what’s expected in order to meet as little resistance as possible?

According to Heather Shumaker, the author of It’s OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids, the latter is most likely:

“Young kids sometimes fool us. They can mimic “Sorry” and even cry when another child cries, but most children are not capable of being sorry yet. Children differ – you may have an early bloomer – but most children simply lack the emotional and cognitive development to feel remorse. Remorse requires the ability to take another person’s perspective and fully understand cause and effect. These skills are still emerging in young children. Expecting young kids to say “Sorry” teaches them nothing more than a misguided lesson in sequence: kick, say “Sorry,” move on.”

Okay, so if we’ve been teaching the wrong lesson all this time, what exactly should we be doing to better help children understand until their emotional intelligence matures?

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Shumaker has some ideas on how we can teach them that “sorry” has meaning, and help them understand that all actions have consequences. Namely, these easy steps:

1. Bring the kid back to the scene of the crime.

Children who think they’re going to be in trouble tend to run. Put an arm around them, bring them back, and explain that even if they didn’t mean to do it, someone got hurt so they need to come back.

2. Be specific about what happened.

The child might not have noticed what they did, or might not understand the impact of shoving a shopping cart, etc. Explain it briefly and calmly, ie: “Your shopping cart ran over her toe.” If we expect them to be sorry, they need to first know what they should be sorry for.

3. Describe the consequences.

Since children often don’t have a fully developed sense of empathy, it’s up to us to tell them what the offended party might be feeling, ie: “Look, there’s a scratch on her arm. It must sting.”

Photo Credit: Pixabay

4. Model empathy.

Ask the other child or adult whether they’re okay.

5. Take action to fix the problem.

Your young one might not truly feel bad, but they can help fix things. Ask them to run and get a band-aid, wipes, a cold towel, etc., in order to help.

6. Make a guarantee.

Promising not to do it again means a lot more to a child than a meaningless word like ‘sorry.’ If they promise not to do the offending action again, trust can be more readily re-established.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

7. Let them see you being truly sorry in your own life.

We do want kids to say sorry and mean it, eventually. One good way to prompt the behavior without forcing it is to let your kids see you making sincere apologies in your own life. Make sure to acknowledge the consequences of your mistakes and do your best to make things better.

As a parent, I love this advice and the notion that kids can learn how to genuinely realize they’ve done something wrong and take steps to make it right, as opposed to being forced to say something they don’t feel or understand. I’m planning to try it soon!

h/t: Offspring.lifehacker.com

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Babies Nap Outside in Scandinavian Countries – Even When It’s Below Freezing

Some folks prefer to sleep with the thermostat turned down or with a fan blowing on them. Cooler temps promotes more restful sleeping.

But could you stand napping outside when it’s almost zero or even below zero degrees F? Would you make your child do it?

Let me ask you another question. Do you want your child removed from your custody and raised by other people? Because that’s what would happen – at least in the United States.

Midday nap
But in the cold-climate countries that make up Scandinavia, no one would bat an eye. In fact, infants’ that are only days old commonly put outside to catch a few z’s in sub-zero weather.

If that sounds cold, it’s because it is cold. You’re not nuts.

According to the BBC, it’s not even just parents putting the freeze on their kids. Preschools will routinely wheel the babies outside at nap time in the winter. In the Stockholm area, one school pushes the kiddies out until the age of three.

Head teacher Brittmarie Carlzon says,

When the temperature drops to -15C (5F) we always cover the prams with blankets … It’s not only the temperature that matters, it’s also how cold it feels. Some days it can be -15C but it actually feels like -20C (-4F) because of the wind.

To be clear, that’s a day the kids can nap inside, When it feels -4 F.

Photo Credit: Pxhere

So, what exactly is the deal?

Linda McGurk, author of There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather, wrote on Rain or Shine Mama about these outdoor naps. She explains that it’s one of those charming Scandinavian concepts that’s hard for Americans to understand at first and impossible for Americans to pronounce ever.

She calls it friluftsliv, which translates to “spending time outdoors to get a change of scenery and experience nature with no pressure to compete or achieve.” It’s a return to nature, learning about nature, an immersion in nature, while also cultivating love and respect for it.

Sticking your baby outside for a nap is part of friluftsliv. There’s no need for music players, wave machines or heartbeat noises because the sounds of nature are lulling and relaxing enough.

Scandinavian style nap: outside

There is also the belief that kids who spend a large amount of outdoors and away from the petri-dish that is preschool are less likely to get sick.

If you want to try this, make sure your baby is reclined in a stroller. They should wear a wool layer under a snow suit with attached mittens, plus a hat and bunting bag. You should be able to see their face and they shouldn’t be able to turn their head. Check your baby often for signs they are getting too cold. Watch for wild animals, nosy neighbors and child protective services.

Or, embrace your American-ness, put them in a onesie and let them sleep inside. That’s okay too.

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15 Parenting Memes That Are Pretty Hilarious

To all the moms and dads…we feel your pain in a major way.

We know you have to deal with those crazy rugrats all day and sometimes, you’re at the end of your rope.

We’re here to give you a little humor break from the daily grind!

Now it’s time to laugh…and then maybe cry…

1. Time to go into battle.

Photo Credit: pleated-jeans

2. Embarrass the hell out of them.

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3. Oh no! That’s terrible!

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4. Sounds like a blast.

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5. That is genius!

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6. A bare chamber.

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7. They know what they’re talking about.

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8. It’s never gonna happen.

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9. No alone time ever again.

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10. How does it work that way?

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11. Put ’em to work.

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12. It was an accident.

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13. Gone with the wind.

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14. Completely out of control.

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15. One look says it all.

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Are those memes accurate, or what?

Did any of them remind you of your crazy kiddos?

Tell us the craziest things your little ones have done lately that drove you up the wall. We’d love to hear from you!

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