Category: parenting tweets

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Parenting Tweets for the Rest of Us

Some days I enjoy scrolling through all the posts my friends and fellow parents put up, their kids dressed and smiling and everyone getting along.

Other days, I want to know what y’alls lives are really like, and for that, I go to Twitter – and to tweets like these 12, which remind us that no one’s life is perfect (but there’s usually humor to be found).

12. No judgement.

You’ve gotta get your kicks where you can.

11. The prayer of the parents of strong-willed kids everywhere.

Don’t kill their spirit, they said…

10. Sounds like you’re raising him right.

You reap what you sow and all that.

9. The first lesson in “always and never” aren’t the best words.

They’ll forget it tomorrow, don’t worry.

8. They keep you on your toes.

For better or worse.

7. They have a lot of questions.

And they do not care about your vanity.

6. Hangry is a real problem.

I feel like doing that myself sometimes.

5. The milestones just keep coming.

Even if you don’t really want them to.

4. That moment comes for all of us.

There’s no avoiding it; might as well celebrate.

3. The horror.

Mom wishes she was alone at lunch, too.

2. No explanation necessary.

It’s on hand for everyday emergencies. Like your children.

1. You can’t be expected to perform miracles.

Even though you basically do every day.

You gotta laugh to keep from crying some days, right?

What’s your favorite way to remember to smile in the midst of the chaos? Give us your tips in the comments!

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Parents Who Need Bedtime to Be Over ASAP

If you’re a parent and bedtime is your favorite time of the day, then tell me your secrets. Sure, there are nice things about it, like being able to check in during a quieter time, bonding over books, snuggles…but we’re just so tired, right, and we’re so close to being able to check out with Netflix we can taste it.

These 14 parents are ready to wave the white flag and beg for mercy if their kids don’t give up the ghost rtfn.

14. Time for clean pajamas!

Whose kids make it all day without dirtying their clothes?

13. You suddenly see where they get it.

Yet, you don’t bother anyone else with your tactics.

12. They’re basically dying.

And it is your duty to hydrate them!

11. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

Don’t be fooled by the cute innocent face.

10. It’s honestly kind of impressive.

In an enraging sort of way.

9. Enjoy the days before they can read.

It won’t last forever.

8. My kids have never done this, not once.

Tell me what it’s like so I can live vicariously.

7. It’s like spooking a horse.

Or a monkey at the zoo.

6. She wasn’t thinking straight.

Sleep deprivation will do that to you. It’s a cycle.

5. Just the thought of it can be too much.

You’ll always regret not summoning the energy, though.

4. An excellent point.

And a smart kiddo, it would seem.

3. Dads everywhere can relate.

Moms everywhere are rolling their eyes.

2. Five more minutes!

Times a hundred, if you keep saying yes.

1. Why are they like that?

I mean…we already know the answer to that I guess.

 

I am feeling their pain, I swear!

What’s your kid’s favorite bedtime stalling tactic? Regale us in the comments!

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Parents Who Just Need Bedtime to End Right Now

Bedtime is the bane of many a parents’ existence, and even if you’ve got angel children who love to sleep and typically listen when you tell them to do something, they will take advantage of bedtime at one point or another.

It’s in their DNA; they can’t help it.

That said, these 15 parents have had it up to here, mister, so it’s time to go to bed.

15. That sounds about right.

And sort of like a good idea.

14. They will win that game.

It was a good idea, though.

13. You can do this.

Now get back in there.

12. Rookie mistake.

They’ll outgrow that when they outgrown stuffed animals sorry.

11. Just read your book.

And don’t tell your mother.

10. Go ahead and shake your fist at the sun.

It doesn’t care, though.

9. I mean will she put him to bed?

Because that changes my opinion on her.

8. One of them definitely knows where it is.

You’re not waking them up, though.

7. Let his imagination run wild.

Maybe it will put him to sleep.

6. Eventually you’ll get to acceptance.

They’ll wear you down.

5. They can do SO many things at once.

It’s like they’ve been training for bedtime all day.

4. That’s excellent parenting right there.

Any song will do, so pick a good one.

3. Definitely choose something boring.

A textbook, perhaps.

2. That’s called karma, people.

I would be giggling for hours.

1. This is actually a really good question.

Now go to sleep.

 

I want bedtime to be lovely, but it’s just not.

If you’ve got tips for making it easier, leave them in the comments!

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Parents Who Just Really Want Their Kid to Go to Bed

When you’re pregnant for the first time, you might dream of giving that baby a warm bath, nursing him or her as they get sleepy, and snuggling that warm precious soul into oblivion.

Sometimes, that happens – but not most times.

As they grow into toddlers and then preschoolers and you realize that sleep is a thing human beings can only go without for so long, you’ll identify more and more with these 16 parents, who are so, so ready for bedtime.

16. I don’t understand why, though.

But he’s not wrong.

15. You’re reminding yourself, really.

And trying to make sure they’re not psychopaths in ten years.

14. It only feels that way.

Though sometimes it is really that way.

13. If you think your kid’s list never ends.

It’s a joke. None of their lists ever end.

12. Challenge everything.

If you keep talking you can’t fall asleep.

11. They do like to stay hip with the times.

And look, they’re making you woke, too.

10. And moms with anxiety.

Melatonin for everyone.

9. Points for being clever.

But no.

8. We all start out as the first parent.

And end up the second one.

7. Some days I’d rather face Fury Road.

Especially if Charlize Theron is there.

6. No one can suspend that much disbelief.

We’re not buying it.

5. He’s living the dream and doesn’t even know it.

Wait thirty years and talk to me, kid.

4. I don’t think Dante ever made it that far.

Think about the people with more than two kids.

3. Because the kids never went to bed.

If they think you have plans they will outlast you every single time.

2. You just bought yourself a sore back, mister.

Because you’re not leaving that room anytime soon.

1. Excellent joke.

Now go to bed.

I’ve been these parents before, and I’m sure I will be them again!

If you’ve got any tips and tricks for getting littles to sleep, please share them in the comments!

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Tweets About Raising Kids That Might Make You Rethink the Whole Thing

Books and websites and forums and groups about parenting are great. They really are, because you’re going to need somewhere to go for support when nothing they tell you can help solve the problem you’re currently facing down with your kid.

There’s no way to prepare for being a parent, and there are definitely moments – like these 16 – that no book could ever guess would happen.

16. They can go round and round for days.

And take you along until you want to puke.

15. I mean, they are humans.

I also hate getting in and also out of the bath.

14. Living with dudes is rough.

And yet we do it voluntarily.

13. I promise no one wants to see that.

Shut up and eat your turkey.

12. It’s a brave new world.

We’re just all trying to keep up here.

11. Sometimes there’s nothing to say.

It doesn’t mean you’ve lost. I don’t think.

10. They really get you with those extras.

It all seems so reasonable at first.

9. Also they will make your nose bleed at least once.

Among other things.

8. It is a nightmare.

You will cut them. They will bleed and you will want to die. (Use the scissors).

7. Maybe there would be one in a book about raising boys.

Sounds about right based on my house.

6. It goes on for years. YEARS.

Of course, you will soon be immune to poop.

5. Three is the sociopath stage.

Also, you should have known her telling you to sleep was a trick. They hate that sh%t.

4. The meals just bleed together.

Because it never, ever ends.

3. Oh but we’ve all been there.

Or somewhere similar. It’s hilarious when it’s not your kid.

2. Oh thank goodness I thought it was just mine.

Why is this a thing though?!

1. This makes me laugh.

Raising sarcastic kids is goals.

Parenting is all about making decisions on your feet, my friends, so make sure you stay limber.

What’s a moment you’ve had as a parent that has just totally stunned you with its randomness? Tell us about it in the comments!

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If You Missed These 17 Funny Parenting Tweets, We’ve Got You Covered

We don’t like to think of any parents who enjoy laughing at other parents’s predicaments to miss some of the best content on Twitter. It helps us get through the days, after all, whether we’re scrolling while we we wait for our kids to fall asleep or trying to ignore Mighty Pups as it plays for the one thousandth time.

And we think these 17 tweets are some you definitely can’t miss.

17. Your time will come, toddler parents.

You just have to wait for it wait for it.

16. I’m sure they’ll take it well.

Don’t you think?

15. A truly special moment in every man’s life.

I bet my dad felt SO SPECIAL when I was a teen.

14. It’s a good starter list. I’m sure he’s got more.

And how do YOU know there’s no one named Jacob?

13. I definitely don’t need to be paying for a gym membership then.

I have two of them and they say uh-oh all the time.

12. Times have changed, for sure.

Some for the better, but not all.

11. This list is a great start.

And also I’m stealing that the TV ran out of batteries.

10. He’s not wrong.

You might want to watch your back, but he’s not wrong.

9. Just a little something to make you feel better today.

Even if just for a moment.

8. It’s best to get that out of the way.

I don’t care how old you are.

7. Then you definitely have to make sure your parental controls are on the television.

Because you’ve definitely lost all control otherwise.

6. The toddler will have their revenge.

You don’t know when or how, but it will happen.

5. I’m sure deep down they’ll really miss you.

At least, that’s what I tell myself.

4. Literally whatever works, right?

I love that it was Spiderman’s sensibilities that did it.

3. Hey, the kid knows what he likes.

You’ve gotta admire it, really.

2. I thought that was the right way to communicate with the youths.

Was I wrong? I think not.

1. You’ve gotta admit it’s a fair question.

Because if not, she might need to pack one, right?

Tomorrow, it might be me – but today it’s not, and so I laugh!

What’s the funniest thing your kid has said or done lately? Let’s keep the laughs going in the comments!

The post If You Missed These 17 Funny Parenting Tweets, We’ve Got You Covered appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Greta Tweets About Parenting

If you’re a parent – or a nonparent who just finds parenting situations hilarious – on Twitter, you probably see halfway decent tweets come across your timeline at least a couple of times a day.

These 15 tweets aren’t just halfway decent, though, so if parenting tweets are your think, you definitely don’t want to miss these!

15. If you can convince yourself this means the food is wholesome, so much the better.

My 3yo calls it “Old McDonalds,” as well.

14. They’re all going to be fine.

Who has the time to police everything that goes into a kid’s mouth?

13. Sometimes games are a little too real.

But if you can sleep in jail, or she’ll bring you a snack, go along with it.

12. I think it changed all of us.

Our immune systems are forever altered.

11. Most “tried and true” parenting advice is hogwash.

It’s given by people who have forgotten what it’s like in the trenches.

10. It’s impossible to argue with this brilliance.

I’m definitely going to steal this idea, and you are, too.

9. It will definitely work.

According to Hollywood, sunglasses are all you need to look alive.

8. Tell your pregnant friends so they can avoid the disappointment.

Yes, this law also applies to movies. Maybe moreso.

7. It is a very versatile tune.

That you will never, ever want to hear again at some point in your life.

6. Next she’s going to want to speak to your manager.

That’s your wife, in case you weren’t keeping track.

5. Most likely on purpose.

Toddlers are a$sholes, don’t @ me.

4. You have to really pull out your acting skills.

They can tell if you’re not actually paying attention, I promise.

3. Sweetheart.

S/he would never guess those things were related. Bless.

2. What a world if we could all say that.

Full of sass and mismatched patterns. What could be better?

1. I mean they’re basically always talking to you.

It’s impossible to pay attention ALL the time.

These tweets set a high bar, for sure!

Which one made you laugh the hardest? If you can pick a favorite, share it with us in the comments!

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Did You Miss These Recent Parenting Tweets? We’ve Got You Covered!

If you’re anything like me, you follow several hilarious accounts on Twitter that are dedicated to making us all laugh about the slog that is the daily parenting battle.

How else shall we get through it, besides laughing (or crying or drinking) together?

We won’t, which is why we didn’t want you to miss these 13 super funny and relatable tweets.

13. I think it’s just called “owning a toddler.”

I’m hoping 4 is the magic number?

12. All of those brave, clueless souls flocking to the campgrounds.

You think cooking three meals a day, plus snacks, at HOME is hard?

11. Every single time you think they might be ready for a big kid cup.

Spoiler alert: They are not ready.

10. I would have no clue.

That’s what my husband is for, I guess.

9. Show, don’t tell.

It’s the best way to get your point across.

8. I’m sure your father will take you.

He already does whenever he’s in charge for five minutes.

7. This is the way it should be.

It’s no big deal and the noise is almost soothing if you ask me.

6. I’m filing this away for future use.

Parenting teens is going to be so fun!

5. The funniest things are amazing to them.

It’s always weird to think how many things are firsts for kids.

4. Tomorrow they will be cutting your self-esteem off at the knees.

That’s how kids roll, man. Don’t get comfortable.

3. We all know the truth.

But you should keep her guessing anyway.

2. I mean, that show is pretty amusing.

I’m guessing the 9yo’s information may not be as reliable, though.

1. I’m sure that seems true to them.

Time for a history lesson, perhaps. Or a rundown on our contemporary nightmare.

This is the kind of content I go to Twitter for, y’all!

Let us know which ones were your favorites down in the comments!

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Parents Know How True These 11 Tweets Actually Are

There are some things in life you can’t know until you experience them, and no matter how much time you’ve spent around other people’s kids, the dark and unholy truths about parenting is one of those things.

If you’re a parent, you know these 11 tweets are too real.

If you’re not, you’ll still think they’re funny.

11. Your teen will absolutely love it.

And I mean, they will hate it and you.

10. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

They always do.

9. They need water like a man in the desert.

Also a million other things.

8. Or possible his father.

But probably the kid and this is hilarious.

7. She’s just making sure it’s fine.

And showing him how it’s done.

6. It’s terrible when they work in tandem.

But also you’re kind of proud.

5. Where are the smells coming from?

It seems impossible to track them all down at once.

4. They can be really mean.

And sweet. Like sour gummies.

3. And then he thinks you’re insane.

Those little heathens know exactly what they’re doing.

2. Now that is a sick burn.

At least she’s learning history.

1. She learned from the best.

He’s not going to get mad at her, though.

I think they’re funny and they make me want to cry and make another cup of coffee.

Two reasons… first, I know these are so true. Second, I like caffeine and I need more of that to get through the day.

Okay, but enough about me! Let’s hear what you have to say!

Let us know which of these speaks to your soul… in the comments!

The post Parents Know How True These 11 Tweets Actually Are appeared first on UberFacts.

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Parenting Tweets That Moms and Dads Will Feel Deep Down in Their Souls

All of us joke about the silly, odd, frustrating, and annoying aspects of parenting.

That’s it. That’s the pitch – no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

So you know, if you’re a parent, these 12 tweets are going to see all too real.

12. As long as there’s coffee, everything will be fine.

Mostly. Probably. Don’t run out.

11. I wish I was this kind of mom.

I am the opposite sort of mom.

10. Or make that squeaking sound.

Whoever invented those is the worst.

9. Isn’t it cute how they watch everything you do?

And then repeat it at the worst possible moment?

8. Kids are kind of magic, aren’t they?

For better or worse.

7. I think that’s why they invented a Ken.

Why else would he be necessary? He has no genitals.

6. Throw in some Netflix and he’s got it.

The trifecta, as George Costanza would say.

5. You still had to stop and listen, though.

It’s a parent rule.

4. It’s a step in the right direction.

Though I doubt she would have cleaned it up afterward.

3. This is actually a necessary thing in life.

Where’s the Kickstarter?

2. She was also accidentally very quiet.

And sitting somewhere very out of the way.

1. I don’t think a sore throat is a symptom.

Of course, you never can tell.

Isn’t it nice to know we’re not alone, though?

What’s the realest thing your kids have done this week? Tell us about it in the comments!

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