Category: Parenting 103

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Mom of a Teenager Shares Tips on How to Teens Can Use Their Phones for Real World Experience

Raising kids is tough, so if you’re currently slogging through the long, interrupted nights with potty-training toddlers, well…I’m sorry to say that even though things will be different one day, that doesn’t mean they’re going to be easier.

Teens especially are leading completely different lives than their parents did thirty or forty-odd years ago, so we might often wonder what sort of wisdom we can offer when it comes to navigating this brave new world.

One mom of a teenager has some advice on using technology to prepare your almost-adult for taking on life after living at home, and personally, I’ll definitely be taking notes.

1. Have them conduct internet research for your family.

Image Credit: Pixabay

If you need to kill weeds or replace a fence or put your dog in day care or rent a car – anything you’d normally do, your kid can do (but of course double check!).

2. Have them pay medical bills.

If you get a medical bill, show them where to find the service date and invoice number and then sit there while they call or pay online.

3. Have them make actual phone calls to get help when something breaks.

Using the phone to make calls is a chore, but when our internet breaks, the water heater goes out, etc, your kid can make the calls and set up the appointments on their own.

4. Let them schedule their own appointments.

It might be time for them to schedule their own haircuts and dentist appointments, but make sure they actually get it done.

5. Have them renew your driver’s license or voter’s registration.

Image Credit: Pixabay

It can be intimidating to navigate official government processes, so why not let them practice while you’re still there as a safety net?

6. Let them order groceries online.

Online grocery shopping is amazing – and something everyone should know how to do when they’re on their own.

Show them how to re-order necessities, to check the pantry for recipe components, and to stay within a budget.

7. Make them responsible for cooking dinner once a week.

Image Credit: Pixabay

They should choose the recipe, make sure the ingredients get on the online grocery list, and then make the dinner for the family once a week.

8. Teach them how to use Microsoft Excel.

Use it to make a packing list, a personal budget, a schedule of activities – it doesn’t matter what for as long as they’re figuring out how to use the program.

9. Help them learn PowerPoint.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Like with Excel, PowerPoint is something they’ll likely need in college and, depending on their profession, beyond.

They can make birthday presentations, Mother’s Day presentations, etc – you could even use it as a punishment if they’ve done something wrong.

There you have it – I’m not sure my husband can do all of these things, honestly, so I’ll definitely be making sure my sons can before they call themselves grown ups.

What do you do to try to use technology as a teaching tool? Are you going to try any of these in your home?

Talk to us in the comments!

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Some Parents Are Annoyed by a Hospital Poster Shaming Them for Looking at Their Cell Phones

We all have to answer questions in this day and age about how much, how often, when and where we choose to pick up our phones. Sometimes we’re reading emails from work, or answering texts from friends or family or looking up a recipe for dinner, and other times we might be scrolling through Facebook or keeping up with the latest snark on the news on Twitter.

The truth is that your kids have no idea what the difference is – they see you staring at your phone and they know you’re not paying attention to them, full stop.

It’s complicated, and we all have to decide for ourselves what we want technology in our homes to look like.

The personal nature of those choices is probably why new parents want to snarl at a hospital poster suggesting they’re going to screw up their brand-new bundle by picking up their phones instead of staring lovingly into their sleeping (or screaming) faces.

Even worse – this was posted in a U.K. version of a NICU, meaning that the parents there spend long, stressful hours waiting for the day they can take their child home.

And, if they’re anything like me (who had a healthy, if pissy, newborn), most of the things they’re staring at on their device are answers to panicked questions about all things baby and motherhood.

The sign reads “Mummy and Daddy, Please look at ME when I am feeding. I am much more interesting than your phone!!”

Surely, the person who wrote it intended it as a reminder of the importance of bonding, but it definitely comes across as shaming in a place where added stress is the very last thing anyone needs.

During those long, late hours spent feeding, worrying, and just disconnected from the real world in general, our devices can be like a lifeline to other people – something not to be discounted, even if moderation is obviously key.

The Yeovil District Hospital responded to the outcry with a statement:

“These posters were created by our Special Care Baby Unit nurses following UNICEF baby-friendly accreditation training and have been in place for a few months. They are intended to be used only within the context of the unit, where we support mums of premature or very poorly babies in building a healthy connection.”

Twitter clapbacked at that as well…

Which is fine, but someone should definitely work on their wording. A simple statement about the importance of bonding with premature infants would have sufficed.

Postpartum is a hard enough time, and we’re already questioning literally everything we’re doing – the last thing new parents need is the hospital staff pouring on more of the same.

What do you think? Good reminder or should the hospital just mind their own business?

Let us know in the comments!

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Putting A Leash On Your Kiddo Might Have More Upsides Than You Realize

There are a bunch of things I said I would never do as a parent before I became one – and one of those things is putting a leash on my kid.

I mean, from the outside, it just looks sort of degrading, doesn’t it? Like you’re treating your precious baby like an animal? Or perhaps like you’re unable to keep track of your own child, like maybe you’re too busy looking at your phone to keep tabs?

Believe me, I had all of those thoughts as a non-parent, but now that I’m the proud owner of not one, but two toddlers, I can tell you two things for sure: they’re faster than you would believe, and the fear of losing them in public is bring-you-to-your-knees terrifying.

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And hey – it turns out that using a leash might not warp them forever, either, according to child therapist Brooke Sprowl.

“As a child therapy expert, my sense is they don’t cause any real psychological harm and that our strong reactions to them are more about cultural norms than about any actual or lasting effects on the child’s psychology. Of the scarce research that has been conducted, none suggests that child leashes do cause physical or psychological harm.”

Basically, as with most things in life, children as blissfully unaware of how judgmental other people are…until the sad, inevitable day that they’re not.

“If it were culturally normative to leash children I don’t think anyone would have such a strong reaction to them and I can’t imagine children themselves expressing shame or humiliation about being leashed. If that were happening, we would know, and it would be a different story,” Sprowl adds.

She also thinks that for parents of children with special needs, or who have a bunch of kids, or parents who own that one little one who likes to sprint for freedom whenever he or she gets the chance, leashing can be a great and effective way to keep children safe.

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Shelli Dry, a pediatric therapist, agrees – though she does have some additional thoughts.

“The first area to consider would be the purpose of the tether. Is it required for safety in an impulsive child or a child with special needs? When safety is a concern, it should take priority, however there are guidelines that should be followed.”

Janice Robinson-Celeste, chimed in with her agreement as well in an interview with Romper.

“As an early childhood specialist and a parent, I’ve used a ‘leash’ for one out of three of my own children because she was the one that could not be contained in one area. It is a safety precaution and is often necessary. I would rather her be on a safety harness than run into open traffic or off of a pier into the ocean. Many times these restraints help children who are perfecting walking to prevent terrible falls and head injuries. There were many times that I lifted my child mid-fall with these straps as if she was a marionette and prevented her from hitting her head on the pavement.”

The harnesses generally come in cute styles like animal backpacks or fairy wings, designs that young children would be excited to wear, and as long as no one acts like there’s something wrong with it, they’ll happily slip it on the next time you’re going to the zoo, a parade, a theme park, or somewhere else it can be stressful to think about not losing your child.

Dry reminds us to use them correctly, though, and to never pull or tug, or otherwise do something that “could lead to injury and harm to the child. The danger with wrist tethers are that the child could pull away sharply and injure their shoulder or arm. Safer alternatives to the wrist tether would be the harness backpacks or a walking handle in which the child learns to hold a loop or plastic handle.”

Also, Dry suggests using something like this, whether because of safety concerns, or for a child with special needs, or to assuage your own anxiety, as a teaching moment.

“Using a tether with a younger child should be a communication tool and teaching method to help children learn to stay beside their parent or caregiver,” says Dry. “The parent should express the loving desire to keep their child close by at all times. When the child learns to walk alongside the parent, than the use of the tether can be faded. In other words, use of a tether when used short term and in a loving manner as a teaching tool and for safety in a young child should not have a negative effect on the child.”

Here’s the thing: even though you know that you’re doing it for the right reasons and you’re sure you’re not harming your child, you might still get disapproving looks from perfect strangers.

Do what’s right for you and yours, and ignore the people who think they can pass judgment on someone they pass randomly in the street.

And welcome to parenthood…

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A Mom Brought a Nerf Gun to Her Delivery to Keep Her Husband Awake and Alert

Delivering babies is no joke…but also, if you’re not the one being kept awake by pains, poking, prodding, shifting, baby’s cries, or some combination of the above, well, it can be tough to stay alert through it all.

I mean, labor can last a long time, I get it. Everyone is tired afterward (except your baby). But if you’re there to play the role of supportive partner, napping really shouldn’t be an option.

Which is exactly what expectant mom Samatha Mravik-Miller was thinking when she included a Nerf gun in her hospital bag.

Mom hack level 1,0000Worried about the nights in the hospital with your new born & dad sleeping?Well… then don’t forget one of these in your hospital bag ?

Posted by Samantha Mravik-Miller on Sunday, December 15, 2019

Her post read,

“Worried about the nights in the hospital with your newborn & dad sleeping?

Well…then don’t forget one of these in your hospital bag.”

She included a photo of her holding the gun, ready to wake him up the moment he dared think that a women who had just birthed a baby should be the same person losing the most sleep.

Samantha told Romper that she’d gotten the idea “because when my 5-year-old was born my husband slept through him crying in the hospital.”

The comments were full of their own stories, convincing everyone that this was a widespread issue – and that Nerf guns might be the answer.

Image Credit: Facebook

Said one mom,

“Threw 2 shoes at my husband to get him to wake up.

First night at the hospital after a c section and I couldn’t get out of bed easily.”

Another chimed in, tagging her husband.

“I needed this for when you were sleeping, and I couldn’t get up cause of the scar.”

If there’s one thing that reading this post has taught me (and probably women everywhere) is that even if husbands sleeping through those first days is normal, it doesn’t have to be.

I’d say it’s long past time to take matters into our own hands, wouldn’t you, ladies?

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These Teachers All Had to Deal with Awful Parents

Teachers have very challenging jobs. Dozens of students, ever-changing curricula, low pay, and long days. But throw in crazy parents and their ridiculous requests, and all of a sudden keeping you cool may be harder than brain surgery!

Check out these 23 Reddit teachers who share some of the craziest reasons parents have contacted them.

1. He’s not gay

I’m an assistant school counsellor. We had a furious parent call us several times and accuse us of turning her son gay. The calls stopped after he got a classmate pregnant.

2. No doubt here

I’ve had a parent complain to me about her child. Her daughter was doing really well, 90+ grades and consistent effort in classwork and homework.

Me: [Student] puts a lot of thought and effort into her work.

Mom: She sucks up to you?

Me: No, she wants to do well and be successful. That being said, we’d like to improve her grammar a bit.

Mom: I knew it, she’s stupid. Doesn’t do anything. She will fail.

Me: Uh, no . . . just needs a little more rigor in this department.

Mom: She’s such a disappointment.

And every once in a while I’ll just get a complaint from her…. her complaining TO me about her child. Her kid’s a joy and I’ve been so much nicer to her since I met this lady.

This student is being helped by our fabulous guidance department. I take care to affirm her effort whenever possible, and assure her that she’s doing great. It may not offset the negativity her mother imposes on her, but the other teachers and I will make sure she doesn’t doubt her ability to do well.

3. Sympathizer

I had a parent complain because I played a CD of classical Persian flute music one day in class. The class was World Languages and Cultures and I played a different CD from around the world every day as they came into class. They thought I was sympathizing with terrorists and should “only teach American stuff”.

4. “Cut him some slack”

I gave the kid a D on a homework. Parent contacted me to complain that I was picking on him.

Even though the parent agreed that most of the answers that he gave were wrong but I should have “cut him some slack.”

5. That really is so stupid

I used to teach phonics (basic reading skills) to kindergarten-aged kids. One parent came in after class, irate, and demanded to know why I had taught the er/ir/ur diphthong before the oi/oy diphthong. He didn’t want his kid to be able to read the word “girl” before being able to read “boy”. Kept going on about how “boy” was just more important and common, as a word, and teaching kids less frequent words before more frequent ones would slow down reading progress and was bad pedagogically, and so on.

In hindsight, I’m impressed that he managed to squeeze so many justifications into something so pointlessly stupid.

6. The Star

One mother threatened to yank her daughter out of the school if this student were not given the starring role in the Christmas concert to sing “O Holy Night”. (An incident previously noted.)

The girl had made it perfectly clear to me, the faculty and classmates that she realized she wasn’t musically qualified for the part, neither did she want to do it.

It was entirely her Mom – determined that her daughter should be “the star” of the school, no matter what.

7. School Bullies

There was a mom who was mad that we wouldn’t let her son be in the class that he wanted to be in. Her son was in grade two, but for the first two or so months of the school year he would go to the kindergarten classroom everyday. We’re not a big school, so there’s only one grade two class.

Developmentally there was no reason he should still be in the kindergarten class, he just kept going there because he liked the toys better and when he was in there he would make fun of the younger students because he was older and smarter than the rest of them and would hit them if they were ‘stupid’.

When we told the mom what was going on and that we needed her to support this transition she thought we were doing this just because we didn’t want her son to be happy at school. We finally got him to go to the correct class (my class), but the troubled behavior (hitting, swearing, making messes, being purposefully distracting, disrespectful and generally inappropriate) still continues, and the mom’s ideas that we’re picking on him and are being mean to him still continue.

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Making Children Say ‘I’m Sorry’ Can Seem Meaningless. Try This Instead.

We’ve all seen this, and a lot of us have done it. A small child does something hurtful on accident and, upon a stern look or ‘what do you say?’ from a parent, mutters a quick ‘sorry’ before moving on with whatever they were doing. But while it’s good to teach children manners, are they really learning anything? Are they actually sorry, or are they just doing what’s expected in order to meet as little resistance as possible?

According to Heather Shumaker, the author of It’s OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids, the latter is most likely:

“Young kids sometimes fool us. They can mimic “Sorry” and even cry when another child cries, but most children are not capable of being sorry yet. Children differ – you may have an early bloomer – but most children simply lack the emotional and cognitive development to feel remorse. Remorse requires the ability to take another person’s perspective and fully understand cause and effect. These skills are still emerging in young children. Expecting young kids to say “Sorry” teaches them nothing more than a misguided lesson in sequence: kick, say “Sorry,” move on.”

Okay, so if we’ve been teaching the wrong lesson all this time, what exactly should we be doing to better help children understand until their emotional intelligence matures?

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Shumaker has some ideas on how we can teach them that “sorry” has meaning, and help them understand that all actions have consequences. Namely, these easy steps:

1. Bring the kid back to the scene of the crime.

Children who think they’re going to be in trouble tend to run. Put an arm around them, bring them back, and explain that even if they didn’t mean to do it, someone got hurt so they need to come back.

2. Be specific about what happened.

The child might not have noticed what they did, or might not understand the impact of shoving a shopping cart, etc. Explain it briefly and calmly, ie: “Your shopping cart ran over her toe.” If we expect them to be sorry, they need to first know what they should be sorry for.

3. Describe the consequences.

Since children often don’t have a fully developed sense of empathy, it’s up to us to tell them what the offended party might be feeling, ie: “Look, there’s a scratch on her arm. It must sting.”

Photo Credit: Pixabay

4. Model empathy.

Ask the other child or adult whether they’re okay.

5. Take action to fix the problem.

Your young one might not truly feel bad, but they can help fix things. Ask them to run and get a band-aid, wipes, a cold towel, etc., in order to help.

6. Make a guarantee.

Promising not to do it again means a lot more to a child than a meaningless word like ‘sorry.’ If they promise not to do the offending action again, trust can be more readily re-established.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

7. Let them see you being truly sorry in your own life.

We do want kids to say sorry and mean it, eventually. One good way to prompt the behavior without forcing it is to let your kids see you making sincere apologies in your own life. Make sure to acknowledge the consequences of your mistakes and do your best to make things better.

As a parent, I love this advice and the notion that kids can learn how to genuinely realize they’ve done something wrong and take steps to make it right, as opposed to being forced to say something they don’t feel or understand. I’m planning to try it soon!

h/t: Offspring.lifehacker.com

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