Category: Parenting 103

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Parenting Tweets for the Rest of Us

Some days I enjoy scrolling through all the posts my friends and fellow parents put up, their kids dressed and smiling and everyone getting along.

Other days, I want to know what y’alls lives are really like, and for that, I go to Twitter – and to tweets like these 12, which remind us that no one’s life is perfect (but there’s usually humor to be found).

12. No judgement.

You’ve gotta get your kicks where you can.

11. The prayer of the parents of strong-willed kids everywhere.

Don’t kill their spirit, they said…

10. Sounds like you’re raising him right.

You reap what you sow and all that.

9. The first lesson in “always and never” aren’t the best words.

They’ll forget it tomorrow, don’t worry.

8. They keep you on your toes.

For better or worse.

7. They have a lot of questions.

And they do not care about your vanity.

6. Hangry is a real problem.

I feel like doing that myself sometimes.

5. The milestones just keep coming.

Even if you don’t really want them to.

4. That moment comes for all of us.

There’s no avoiding it; might as well celebrate.

3. The horror.

Mom wishes she was alone at lunch, too.

2. No explanation necessary.

It’s on hand for everyday emergencies. Like your children.

1. You can’t be expected to perform miracles.

Even though you basically do every day.

You gotta laugh to keep from crying some days, right?

What’s your favorite way to remember to smile in the midst of the chaos? Give us your tips in the comments!

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When You Add Disney to Parenting, You Get Funny Memes

There are tons of parenting memes, and really, I’m on board with almost all of them. They make me want to fish-bump my fellow parents in solidarity, rather than hide my kids away at home so their kids don’t make mine awful, instead.

But I don’t think there could be a better mashup than Disney and parenting, because we’re stuck with both, and while neither is perfect, we’re not giving them back.

14. Just give up the ghost.

How bad can those chemicals really be, anyway?

13. If your kid is a baby, you’re thinking “nope, that will never happen to me!”

I invite you to wait a couple of years and get back to me.

12. Don’t give in.

It’s more work than staying home, I promise.

11. They just trust you with that thing! Like, figure it out!

Later you realize that’s because everyone else is still winging it, too.

10. Invest in some Goo Gone.

And also some Magic Erasers.

9. You knew it would happen, too.

This is not your first day.

View this post on Instagram

Every. Time.

A post shared by Stamford Mommy (@stamfordmommy) on

8. They’re so dumb.

Bless their hearts.

7. It’s funny, right?

But also, you kind of want to cry?

6. They know what’s coming.

They’d better not touch your chocolate.

5. The blessed feeling of freedom.

Until you start to miss them twenty minutes later.

4. They know just how to hurt you.

The snuggles are the good stuff.

3. Yeah, what’s her story?

A tragedy of a perpetual toddler.

2. Deep breath.

In through the nose, out through the mouth, have a sip of wine.

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Deep breaths. Teachers, you deserve a major raise.

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1. Don’t they know you have nowhere to put that thing?

And your kid will lose interest after a week?

These made my day! I’ve always been a Disney fan, and this just further solidified it!

Which of these have you texted to your best mom or dad friend already? Share in the comments!

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These Kids Are Having Meltdowns for Silly Reasons

One of the perks of being a small child is getting to say how you feel all of the time, and everyone still loves you for it.

Sometimes they even think you’re cuter or funnier after you lose your sh%t, which never happens after you pass a certain age.

So don’t feel too badly for these 10 unhappy kiddos – after all, they’re just pitching a fit about their feelings, and we’re just totally jealous.

10. Never flush their toilet.

Rookie mistake.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

9. You could have asked.

I never kill bugs (because I am a chicken).

Image Credit: Cheezburger

8. It’s part of him.

Maybe he wants to keep it forever.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

7. That’s a complicated problem.

But he has a good imagination?

Image Credit: Cheezburger

6. They never want help, either.

That would require listening.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

5. Wait until she hears about polish remover.

It’s going to blow her little mind.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

4. She’s just curious about what goes on in there.

Probably not the best time to bring up the cat.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

3. Society is a pain, girlfriend.

We all gotta sign those social contracts, though.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

2. Yeah that’s going to end badly.

And not for the cat.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

1. HOW DARE, MOTHER.

It’s called sensory input!

Image Credit: Cheezburger

Poor kiddos and their still developing brains! They don’t really know what they need to cry about… but they soon will when they get older, right?

Share a story like this from your house – we need more!

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Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner in Front of Your Kids

It’s good for children to hear their parents debate, split up chores, make compromises, and even argue, as long as it’s done with respect and apologies are also made public later on.

That said, a stable home and a solid partnership between parents is important to children’s development and emotional well-being, so here are 5 things you should never, ever say unless you’re in private.

5. My body is ____.

Image Credit: Pexels

Even if you feel uncomfortable or have gained a few pounds, making comments about your weight can have a negative effect on your child’s self-image.

Don’t talk about being “fat” or “skinny,” but it’s ok to say things about making healthy and good choices most of the time.

Your kids are always watching and listening, and they will internalize the messages you post about yourself.

4. You’re too sensitive.

Image Credit: Pexels

We’re never allowed to tell other people how they can feel.

Saying something like this invalidates the other person’s feelings and tells them they’re wrong to feel upset.

3. You never do anything around here.

Image Credit: Pexels

Work-life balance, and the unpaid labor we all have to do at home, is a sensitive topic.

In front of your kids, though, you should always strive to acknowledge how each partner contributes in different ways – even if the same person always makes dinner or takes out the trash.

2. I don’t care.

Image Credit: Pexels

If your partner is asking for your opinion, there are better and more polite ways to say you’re indifferent rather than saying “I don’t care.”

Try to give at least a little feedback.

1. Look what you did.

Image Credit: Pexels

This phrase makes the mistake into a big deal, which is rude and disheartening to the person who made it. Instead, you can try focusing on a) how the mistake can be fixed, and b) what we can learn from it for the future.

I’d like to think most of us didn’t need to be told, but you never know!

How careful are you about keeping things behind close doors? Tell us how you handle marital conflict in the comments!

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Parents Should Never Say These Words to Their Kids

Any good psychologist will tell you that you should never deal in absolutes – the words ‘always’ and ‘never’ shouldn’t be a part of a rational discussion – but sometimes, there are words we can say should almost never cross a parents lips when dealing with sensitive little ones.

We know that adults’ words have a huge impact on developing minds, and since what parents say to their children has very real consequences in their future, near and far, here are are 7 words to avoid at all costs.

7. Selfish

Image Credit: Pexels

Children are inherently egocentric, and it’s not until the age of 3 that they begin to develop the ability to understand that other people have thoughts and feelings both similar to, and different from, their own.

Selfishness presumes malice, and children are simply dealing with a brain that’s not fully developed – they truly don’t understand why other people feel differently than they do.

You can and should teach kids about consequences and how they affect the way other people feel, but understand that working on empathy will largely be a one-sided fight until they enter preschool.

6. Smart

It’s not wrong to praise your child, but praising things they have no control over typically isn’t the way to go. Sure, a child might have a high IQ, but it might also be the case that they’ve acquired the tools to problem solve, or have otherwise worked to attain that intelligence.

In addition, a child who has been constantly told how smart he/she is, it could be difficult when they inevitably have to navigate a situation where learning something new, or completing a task, is difficult for them.

Instead of smart, try saying “I really like the way you stuck with that until you figured it out,” or “I’ve seen how hard you’ve been trying and I’m proud of you.”

5. Princess

Image Credit: Pexels

If a little girl has adopted the label herself because she’s inspired by real-life or fantasy princesses, then it’s fine if she wants to be addressed as such. But if she hasn’t, parents shouldn’t be pigeonholing little girls into a princess box if she doesn’t want to be stuck there.

4. Stupid

Calling a child “stupid” is incredibly damaging, and is doubly so when said by an adult who claims to love them.

Once they realize it means the adult thinks they are intellectually dumb, it can be internalized and contribute to a bleak academic future, along with devastating low self-esteem.

3. Heartbreaker

Image Credit: Pexels

Why would you want to sexualize a little boy? That’s what putting a child in the context of romantic love and sexuality at a too-young age essentially does, but it also introduces boys to the idea that they hold power over the opposite gender.

Also, why would you want to encourage your child to break anyone’s heart, or to insinuate that would somehow be a desirable trait?

2. A$$hole

It has become somewhat fashionable for parents to refer to their kids as a$sholes online, but really, your kids are just being typical kids with underdeveloped brains and emotions – the adults are the ones who are supposed to be able to control their words and emotions.

And remember, your children won’t be too young to follow you on social media forever…

1. Bossy

Image Credit: Pexels

Generally, this derogatory term is applied to little girls who want to lead during playtime with her peers. If it’s shocking to you, please consider that gender indoctrination could be to blame, and that there is nothing odd about, or reason to discourage, a girl from taking the reins.

She can be assertive, have ideas, direct others, and have confidence, and those traits should be just as lauded in her as they would be in a boy.

All children can use direction when it comes to delivery, so that their leadership comes across more palatable, but that’s a different matter altogether.

As a parent, I strive to remember these every single day – even when it’s hard.

What other words and phrases do you avoid with your littles? Tell us in the comments!

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People Are Divided on a Dad’s Decision to Pay His Son to Read Books

Parents who are readers (like me) use so many hours of our lives when our babies are young to read to them. We buy them books, do the voices, and pray that one day, they will love to read, too.

There are so many things vying for our kids’s attention these days, though, that sometimes, despite our best efforts, reading isn’t at the top of our kids’s list of priorities.

Father David Woodland thought he’d found the perfect solution by paying his son $1 for every book he reads. Dad gets his son reading, and so what if the kid thinks he’s making out big time?

Everyone’s happy.

Well, it turns out that after David’s tweet racked up half a million likes and caught like wildfire on Reddit, that’s not exactly true.

Some people think he’s wrong to pay his kid to read, and also brought up arguments like he should be reading to his child, as well (even though he never said he didn’t).

Others suggested he was teaching his son that he should get paid for the things he should do anyway.

There was apparently some study that showed if you pay kids to do something, they’ll stop doing it without the money.

And some suggested he try instilling “a love of reading” instead of a love of money.

There were people who defended the choice, suggesting that the money would get them started, and hopefully a love of the thing would follow.

Including some with fancy degrees.

And others who agree that one thing can easily lead to another, and not always in a bad way.

As for David, he never expected things to go viral, and he’s taking all of the unsolicited advice and feedback in stride.

He told Bored Panda that he thinks the $1 per book is a great investment, and that he’d be willing to pay him the same forever, if it keeps him reading.

“If the rate stays at only $1, I would fund it for life if it kept working! The benefits of reading a book can change people’s lives.”

Amen, sir, and keep up the good work.

Let’s all take a page from David’s book, too, and remember to take other people’s opinions on how we raise our kids with a grain of salt.

Easier said than done, but we can try!

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Tweets About Raising Kids That Might Make You Rethink the Whole Thing

Books and websites and forums and groups about parenting are great. They really are, because you’re going to need somewhere to go for support when nothing they tell you can help solve the problem you’re currently facing down with your kid.

There’s no way to prepare for being a parent, and there are definitely moments – like these 16 – that no book could ever guess would happen.

16. They can go round and round for days.

And take you along until you want to puke.

15. I mean, they are humans.

I also hate getting in and also out of the bath.

14. Living with dudes is rough.

And yet we do it voluntarily.

13. I promise no one wants to see that.

Shut up and eat your turkey.

12. It’s a brave new world.

We’re just all trying to keep up here.

11. Sometimes there’s nothing to say.

It doesn’t mean you’ve lost. I don’t think.

10. They really get you with those extras.

It all seems so reasonable at first.

9. Also they will make your nose bleed at least once.

Among other things.

8. It is a nightmare.

You will cut them. They will bleed and you will want to die. (Use the scissors).

7. Maybe there would be one in a book about raising boys.

Sounds about right based on my house.

6. It goes on for years. YEARS.

Of course, you will soon be immune to poop.

5. Three is the sociopath stage.

Also, you should have known her telling you to sleep was a trick. They hate that sh%t.

4. The meals just bleed together.

Because it never, ever ends.

3. Oh but we’ve all been there.

Or somewhere similar. It’s hilarious when it’s not your kid.

2. Oh thank goodness I thought it was just mine.

Why is this a thing though?!

1. This makes me laugh.

Raising sarcastic kids is goals.

Parenting is all about making decisions on your feet, my friends, so make sure you stay limber.

What’s a moment you’ve had as a parent that has just totally stunned you with its randomness? Tell us about it in the comments!

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If You Missed These 17 Funny Parenting Tweets, We’ve Got You Covered

We don’t like to think of any parents who enjoy laughing at other parents’s predicaments to miss some of the best content on Twitter. It helps us get through the days, after all, whether we’re scrolling while we we wait for our kids to fall asleep or trying to ignore Mighty Pups as it plays for the one thousandth time.

And we think these 17 tweets are some you definitely can’t miss.

17. Your time will come, toddler parents.

You just have to wait for it wait for it.

16. I’m sure they’ll take it well.

Don’t you think?

15. A truly special moment in every man’s life.

I bet my dad felt SO SPECIAL when I was a teen.

14. It’s a good starter list. I’m sure he’s got more.

And how do YOU know there’s no one named Jacob?

13. I definitely don’t need to be paying for a gym membership then.

I have two of them and they say uh-oh all the time.

12. Times have changed, for sure.

Some for the better, but not all.

11. This list is a great start.

And also I’m stealing that the TV ran out of batteries.

10. He’s not wrong.

You might want to watch your back, but he’s not wrong.

9. Just a little something to make you feel better today.

Even if just for a moment.

8. It’s best to get that out of the way.

I don’t care how old you are.

7. Then you definitely have to make sure your parental controls are on the television.

Because you’ve definitely lost all control otherwise.

6. The toddler will have their revenge.

You don’t know when or how, but it will happen.

5. I’m sure deep down they’ll really miss you.

At least, that’s what I tell myself.

4. Literally whatever works, right?

I love that it was Spiderman’s sensibilities that did it.

3. Hey, the kid knows what he likes.

You’ve gotta admire it, really.

2. I thought that was the right way to communicate with the youths.

Was I wrong? I think not.

1. You’ve gotta admit it’s a fair question.

Because if not, she might need to pack one, right?

Tomorrow, it might be me – but today it’s not, and so I laugh!

What’s the funniest thing your kid has said or done lately? Let’s keep the laughs going in the comments!

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15 Greta Tweets About Parenting

If you’re a parent – or a nonparent who just finds parenting situations hilarious – on Twitter, you probably see halfway decent tweets come across your timeline at least a couple of times a day.

These 15 tweets aren’t just halfway decent, though, so if parenting tweets are your think, you definitely don’t want to miss these!

15. If you can convince yourself this means the food is wholesome, so much the better.

My 3yo calls it “Old McDonalds,” as well.

14. They’re all going to be fine.

Who has the time to police everything that goes into a kid’s mouth?

13. Sometimes games are a little too real.

But if you can sleep in jail, or she’ll bring you a snack, go along with it.

12. I think it changed all of us.

Our immune systems are forever altered.

11. Most “tried and true” parenting advice is hogwash.

It’s given by people who have forgotten what it’s like in the trenches.

10. It’s impossible to argue with this brilliance.

I’m definitely going to steal this idea, and you are, too.

9. It will definitely work.

According to Hollywood, sunglasses are all you need to look alive.

8. Tell your pregnant friends so they can avoid the disappointment.

Yes, this law also applies to movies. Maybe moreso.

7. It is a very versatile tune.

That you will never, ever want to hear again at some point in your life.

6. Next she’s going to want to speak to your manager.

That’s your wife, in case you weren’t keeping track.

5. Most likely on purpose.

Toddlers are a$sholes, don’t @ me.

4. You have to really pull out your acting skills.

They can tell if you’re not actually paying attention, I promise.

3. Sweetheart.

S/he would never guess those things were related. Bless.

2. What a world if we could all say that.

Full of sass and mismatched patterns. What could be better?

1. I mean they’re basically always talking to you.

It’s impossible to pay attention ALL the time.

These tweets set a high bar, for sure!

Which one made you laugh the hardest? If you can pick a favorite, share it with us in the comments!

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Did You Miss These Recent Parenting Tweets? We’ve Got You Covered!

If you’re anything like me, you follow several hilarious accounts on Twitter that are dedicated to making us all laugh about the slog that is the daily parenting battle.

How else shall we get through it, besides laughing (or crying or drinking) together?

We won’t, which is why we didn’t want you to miss these 13 super funny and relatable tweets.

13. I think it’s just called “owning a toddler.”

I’m hoping 4 is the magic number?

12. All of those brave, clueless souls flocking to the campgrounds.

You think cooking three meals a day, plus snacks, at HOME is hard?

11. Every single time you think they might be ready for a big kid cup.

Spoiler alert: They are not ready.

10. I would have no clue.

That’s what my husband is for, I guess.

9. Show, don’t tell.

It’s the best way to get your point across.

8. I’m sure your father will take you.

He already does whenever he’s in charge for five minutes.

7. This is the way it should be.

It’s no big deal and the noise is almost soothing if you ask me.

6. I’m filing this away for future use.

Parenting teens is going to be so fun!

5. The funniest things are amazing to them.

It’s always weird to think how many things are firsts for kids.

4. Tomorrow they will be cutting your self-esteem off at the knees.

That’s how kids roll, man. Don’t get comfortable.

3. We all know the truth.

But you should keep her guessing anyway.

2. I mean, that show is pretty amusing.

I’m guessing the 9yo’s information may not be as reliable, though.

1. I’m sure that seems true to them.

Time for a history lesson, perhaps. Or a rundown on our contemporary nightmare.

This is the kind of content I go to Twitter for, y’all!

Let us know which ones were your favorites down in the comments!

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