Aestheticians Share Their Biggest Client Horror Stories

Not every job is a glamourous endeavor.

Sometimes you work in the deep underbelly of the world, making things work behind the scenes and helping society function as a silent hero.

And then there’s aestheticians, people who work in salons or a spa and remove unwanted hair—often with wax.

And sometimes things go wrong. Beauty isn’t pretty, it would seem.

Also, in case it wasn’t obvious, some of these stories are certainly NSFW.

Be warned.

Reddit user, Hairy-Whodini, wanted to know:

“People who shave or wax private parts for a living – what are your horror stories?”

It’s Nature

“Laser Tech for 4 years. Lady started her period on the table mid session. Luckily the area was completely covered for sanitization and I was almost done zapping her. Finished up and sent her on her way.”

“She was MORTIFIED, I felt bad for her. Not her fault, aunt Flo is a nasty cruel bitch sometimes. Lol. She gave me a generous tip tho, that was nice.” ~ JadedFennel999

Stepping Up To Be Practiced On

“I wasn’t the practitioner but my BF and I were practice models thanks to my high pain tolerance and he was the only male willing to do it. They did sugaring practice…”

“I had a girl get her hand sugar wax glued to my arm for 20 minutes, another get her hand stuck literally to my bf ass cheeks, and a third girl got her glob of wax stuck to her own face.:.all in the span of one session.”

“I felt so bad for them, the trainer had to go get the dissolve spray stuff to unstick everyone.”

“Also one girl apparently accidentally got a tampon stuck to the wax and pulled earlier that week…” ~ S3xySouthernB

Missing. Parts…

“My mom was an aesthetician and she told me of a horror story she had. A woman came in for a Brazilian waxing, a regular of my mom’s.”

“My mom said that she must have been dehydrated that day, which can make the skin easier to tear, because when she pulled the strip way, she ripped her lady bits. Blood everywhere.”

“My mom described it as ‘looked like a bowling ball down there’.”

“The woman was totally chill and made a joke saying something along the lines of ‘I guess I won’t be having sex for a while!’ It took a while to heal but she eventually did go back to my mom as a regular again.”

“And made sure she was hydrated.” ~ 

The Worst Class Of All Time

“When I was in cosmetology school, we had to practice Brazilians on one another. My usual class partner (who was chefs kiss at waxing) wasn’t there for the day it was my turn to be waxed, and I was partnered with another girl.”

“I liked her as a person but omg she had no idea what she was doing.”

“She wasn’t pulling my skin at all so I was trying to grapple down there and make everything taut. She was waxing in improper directions, and PULLING THE STRIP THE WRONG WAY THEN HAVING TO REWAX AND DOING IT AGAIN.

“A classmate stood over my face at one point and asks ‘how’s it going?!’ and I SNAPPED. Do NOT approach me while my coochie meow meow is being massacred.”

“The prof ended up having to take over. By the end of it, I had burns, some tears, and my entire no no square was red for a week. 0/10 do not recommend.” ~ funnygirlsaywhat

Take. A. Shower.

“I talked to a beautician friend about this once so I’ll just get the big one out of the way…”

“People who don’t wipe properly and lie about it like they did.” ~ MrShortPants

“Who the f-ck doesn’t shower before this sort of thing?” ~ prostateExamination

Even The Instructors Get It Bad

“Not my story, but our teacher in beauty school. She was waxing someone on her period (not uncommon, just wear a tampon) and she didn’t realize that the wax had stuck to her tampon string.”

“When she went to pull the strip, the tampon flew out and was obviously an embarrassing mess. Now we’re taught to put an applicator over the string or push it out of the way while laying the strip.” ~ supagirl277

“One of my instructors in beauty school told us about when she was a student and her class learned to do waxing (back then cosmetologists in my state were taught to wax everything but these days we only do neck and above).”

“Her instructor grouped the ladies up and then told them, ‘ok, go ahead and remove everything below your waist’ and the students proceeded to wax each other. Talk about getting to know your beauty school pals well!” ~ BurningValkyrie19

Please Don’t Talk To Me…

“While in esthetics school during Brazilian training I was a model for 2 girls. One of the girls spreads my butt cheeks apart to the point my skin was hurting to evaluate the situation and she commented on how nice my butthole was.”

“Will say it was extremely awkward and interesting sitting there on all 4s while they wax me lol. Just for reference, typically when waxing you start from the back coming forward or at least that’s how we were taught” ~ Kashhuu

Take. A. Shower. People. It’s Not That Hard.

“Oh wow I have so many. I am a full body waxer and I probably do 15-25 Brazilians a day.”

“The amount of women who come in with poop in their butts is ASTOUNDING. Like it’s a regular topic of convo between me and my coworkers.”

“I used to have a male Brazilian client who would always tell me I was hot during his wax and then ask me to leave the room when I was finished so he could get dressed (in private, after I already saw the whole kit and caboodle??).”

“And then there would always be a mountain of tissues in the garbage. Not discreet bro.” ~ msnic21

Throw Away The Entire Internet

“A coworker was doing this nice lady’s bikini. When the time comes to do around the butthole, the lady grins and says « you’ll get a little surprise! »”

“So coworker, of course, wants to know what she means, client tries to get cute by going « oh, you’ll see, haha! » Coworker stands her grounds so the clients finally says that she was back from a trip where she got some sort of butt worms that she called her « little buddies » and that she says are « very cute, haha! »”

“Coworker sent her out without touching the client’s butt.” ~ Leipreachn

“Oh Damn. I’m leaving my phone in the garbage just reading that. Goodbye!” ~ RegularLisaSimpson

Just All Of The Worst Stuff

“STDs, unknown smells, unknown discharge, and a guy who blew his load everywhere while I was waxing his balls. Beauty industry is not glamorous at all.” ~ _3309

Oh. My. Lord.

I think I’ve hit my TMI limit.

People Share the Worst Pain They’ve Ever Felt

I have a couple of answers to this question. The first was when I broke my hand in sixth grade. The second was when I had kidney stones when I was in college.

Ouch!

Both were pretty terrible and I hope I never have to relive those experiences again.

What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt?

AskReddit users opened up about their most painful experiences.

1. That hurts.

“Tore an abdominal muscle once because I had a respiratory infection and wouldn’t stop coughing.

Because it was a core muscle, I could do almost nothing without experiencing excruciating pain.”

2. Awful.

“When I was 12, I was hit by a car at 45 mph. The impact snapped my left humerus and shattered my left tibia/fibula. I was thrown 20 feet into a busy intersection.

In the ER, the attending decided to lift my broken leg without support in order to get a board under it. Everyone told him not to, from the EMTs to the trauma nurse to my mother (who had been an RN for years).

He did it anyway. The pain sent me into a grand mal seizure; every muscle in my body contracted – including my left tricep, deltoid, and trapezius*, which caused the jagged edge of my broken arm to slip its setting and move toward my neck.

I never once lost consciousness.”

3. Shot at and hit.

“I was shot in an attempted carjacking.

Took a .45 hollow point point blank in my back. Bullet entered my back, collapsed my lung, paralyzed me and broke 2 ribs. To top that all off my foot was stuck on the gas and I hit a brick wall going 70 mph. Was in the hospital for 7.5 months, numerous surgeries and stage 4 bed sores.

After the swelling went down I was able to rehab and get back on my feet but still can’t run but not complaining. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, if you are lucky.”

4. Ugh!

“Cornea transplantation.

Imagine 100 spiders itching all over your eye after the operation and for the following 4/5 days.”

5. Sounds bad.

“I’ve broken several bones.

But when I dislocated my left knee, that was by far the worst pain. My knee cap spun around the backside of my knee.

And took all the nerves and tendons with it.”

6. Yowza!

“IUD insertion.

It was brief, but the worse pain I ever experienced. The nurses said I handled it well, then I proceeded to throw up at a stoplight while driving home.

Apparently some women only feel mild discomfort during the process.”

7. Those things are nasty.

“Got bit by a brown recluse when I was eight, which caused a staph infection on my back.

I had it for a week before noticing it, and when I got to the doctor they told me that if it wasn’t for the infection digging into my muscle I’d be dead already. He then told me I was in for some serious pain and told me to bite down on this leather strip. He had to push everything out of it and cauterize it. I have never experienced pain like that since.

And I’ve broken quite a few of bones, one of which came out of my skin. It was NOTHING compared to this. I passed out 3 separate times from the pain, and the police were called by the neighboring business because they heard “a child being brutally tortured”.

And this was with morphine and local anesthetic. My mom was crying her eyes out because she felt so bad about what was happening, and the doctor told me it was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. The newest harry potter book had just come out, and was expensive, but my mom bought it for me and cooked my favorite meal of or THREE days in a row.

I’m not gonna lie, I was f*cking BAWLING when I had to go back for the check up on it because the doctor warned me that he might have to do it again if the infection returned. Which it didn’t. The doctor gave me the $50 my mom had paid for the appointment and said that he couldn’t accept money for what he did to me (still charged my insurance though).

Which I gave to my mom for the book (I usually had to work for the money for the harry potter books). Which my mom used to take our family out to dinner as a celebration for the infection not returning.”

8. Water!

“Dehydration.

I was in college and I got mono terribly. I had a high fever and my throat was mostly closed and I couldn’t swallow at all. Eventually everything just felt like a dull pain, until I’d move and it would become a very sharp pain.

I remember somehow getting to the campus medical ward, and the nurse telling me I was at a 10 pain level. In any case 2 IVs later and I was feeling a lot better.

Later on I broke two vertebrae in a car crash and the dehydration was considerably worse.”

9. Intense pain.

“Being burned alive on 30% of my body and surviving in critical condition and then having to rehab in an ICU.

The searing neurological pain of repeated debriding to promote healthy tissue growth was so much worse than the initial burning.

This was 10 years ago and I literally started crying as I am writing this, just from how vividly I can remember the pain.”

10. Jesus!

“In my early 20’s I had 6 operations for a pilonidal sinus, for which there wasn’t ONE procedure that was 100% effective.

One surgery left the wound open and packed with gauze. A full bottle of gauze. The idea was to remove the gauze and the wound heals from the bottom up.

By the time the initial change of dressing happened over 6 hours had passed and the blood on the gauze had dried and adhered to the walls of the wound. It took 3 big orderlies to hold my legs still and I gripped the handrails of the bed so hard the IV popped out of my arm.

My dad said it was like watching a clown pull the endless rainbow handkerchief out of it’s mouth.”

11. Scooter accident.

“Was going about 50mph on my vespa when the car to the right of me decided that the right lane between two intersections was the best place for a u-turn.

I was luckily thrown clear, did a couple of flips and smacked into the pavement. No serious injuries except for some road rash and… a compound dislocation on my big toe.

Get to the ER and the doctor says, “if we can’t get this back in you are going to need surgery.” He then spends the next 10 minutes trying to force my bone back into the body manually with small breaks while he examines and tries to figure out why it isn’t working.

Turns out the bones in the tip of my toe were basically shattered so while he is squeezing my toe trying to shove the bit of bone back in the shards in the tip were just grinding together.

He eventually got frustraded and gave up. A young orthopedic surgeon came in later wanting to take a crack at it, first question he asked was, “has he gotten any morphine yet?” followed by, “why the f*ck not?”

Dr. Kim, I will be forever grateful to you.”

12. Not numb enough.

“Did surgery to remove my two wisdom tooth but the dentist just used 1/4 of the anesthesia dosage.

I felt everything and even nearly passed out when she got to broke my tooth in 4 pieces .”It’s gonna hurt a little bit”, she said. And I didn’t complain cause thought I was overreacting.

She also touch the nerve while removing the tooth pieces and again almost fainted. Got back to my house like I’ve had been violated, remaining in the fetal position for hours.

All this cause I had dental insurance and didn’t actually pay for the surgery.”

13.  And it happened in public.

“Sneezed while holding my nose and blew out my eardrum. Guys, you know how your parents told you not to do that? There is a really good reason.

I was traveling on the subway when it happened and ended up rolling on the ground almost screaming in pain. I may have been screaming, I don’t know as I couldn’t hear it. Massive ringing in the ear, stabbing pain right into the brain.

Felt like my head exploded and it doesn’t go away. Pain was there for days, hearing loss was a heck of a lot longer although it does fade.”

What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your life?

Tell us your stories in the comments.

Please and thank you!

The post People Share the Worst Pain They’ve Ever Felt appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Worst Pain They’ve Ever Experienced

Pain don’t hurt.

Honestly, it does, but I just REALLY wanted to quote Patrick Swayze in Road House because it’s the greatest film of all time…

What do you think is the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your life?

Let’s feel the pain with folks on AskReddit!

1. Not pleasant.

“A drunk girl decided to start cooking during a house party at my place while I was in university…

She filled a pan with oil, turned it on max then went outside to have a smoke. (I was not in the kitchen). Few minutes later, the smoke alarm goes off as the oil had started to burn.

I didn’t realize how full it was, and when I grabbed the handle, the boiling oil spilled back onto my hand and I got severe burns all over it.

The pain just kept getting progressively worse the for hours and hours. Ended up getting a skin graft.

…. I’ve also had MASSIVE kidney stones and have been stabbed twice. Oil burn > Kidney stones > Stabbings.”

2. Sounds terrible.

“I once had an infection inside my wisdom tooth, that was the worst pain I’ve experienced.

Painkillers didn’t touch it, and just breathing was agony.

I spent 2 days awake before I could get it removed.”

3. Well, that’s weird.

“One time I woke up to terrible pain in my lower stomach, it was so bad that I kept on fainting and throwing up.

I was taken to the hospital and they couldn’t find anything, then the pain just magically went away.”

4. It was ugly.

“Appendix rupturing.

Thought I was just having a stomach ache, waited in bed for hours, got so bad I couldn’t walk.

Ambulance came and had to wheel me out in the fetal position. Emergency surgery, almost died, hospitalized for 2 1/2 weeks.

It was ugly.”

5. Broken arm.

“When I was in third grade I broke my arm jumping off a swing.

It was Labor Day weekend, so I guess all the good doctors at the hospital were on vacation, and the resident who was treating me set my arm wrong. They didn’t notice until I went back for follow up x-rays a couple weeks later, to check how I was healing.

My bones had already partially healed, but the angle was wrong, so what they did was saw open a bit of my cast and insert a wedge device, and crank it until my forearm was straight (they needed to bend it a good 30 degrees). I didn’t get any sort of pain killer.

Hurt like hell.”

6. Not big enough!

“Gallstones trying to move through a tiny space that wasn’t big enough for them.”

7. Scary.

“Had an ovarian cyst that burst. First it felt like normal pediod pain. Fast forward an hour later, I am throwing up in the bathroom and crying.

Of course I had no painkillers in the house and it was around 6 am so no store was open. The only thing I could think of doing, was drive to work because I knew there was medical kit with painkillers.

So I drove there in complete agony (very safe). I took few painkillers and went to lie on the conference room floor. Nice suprise to my colleagues when they arrived.

After that episode I got endometriosis diagnosis.”

8. Intense.

“I had to get a physical for the Navy. They found minute amounts of blood in my urine. You couldn’t see it when I peed, only using their testing process.

They had to figure out what was wrong with my bladder. First was a ultrasound of my full bladder. Annoying, but not painful. Then, apparently, the prostate can cause that type of issue. Got a finger up the b*tt. Again, uncomfortable, but not really painful. The last thing was to shove a camera up my urethra.

They gave me Vicodin and Valium, the same thing that gave me for my vasectomy. Nothing else pain wise was given. We’ll, as soon as they shoved the camera up my d*ck, I sobered up and felt the most intense pain ever.

They proceeded to wiggle it around in my bladder and trip my bladder is full switch. Got done and tried to pee. Visible blood this time and I felt violated for the rest of the day.

Found the same blood about 4 years later. Made them knock me out because I wasn’t doing that awake again.

Nothing conclusive was found. Doc said that some people have microscopic amounts of blood in their urine. I happen to be one of the unlucky ones.”

9. Whoa.

“I had a student stab me once.

16 stitches across my right ribs. It sucked, a lot, but when I got to the hospital and they started stitching it up, the adrenaline had worn off and the local anesthetic they gave me was not working.

The doctor (who I’m pretty sure studied medicine under Dr. Mengele) was not gentle or polite about it. Feeling him pierce my skin as he stitched me up made me throw up and black out.”

10. Agony.

“I once had to re-inflate my own lung after a 500cc pleural effusion was drained from one side.

Every breath was agony. I had to keep taking deep breaths over several hours to fully expand my lung to full size. Dr’s gave me Dilaudid every two hours that didn’t even touch the pain.

Only time I’ve ever gotten close to hitting a 10/10 pain.”

11. OMG.

“Got my foot cut off, but that wasn’t the worst pain.

When they removed the dressing from where they took the skin graft from my leg to replace the skin on my foot, it felt like they were peeling my skin off.”

12. Infected.

“I got a parasitic infection in my eye from using contacts in the shower, transmitted by my roommate’s ferret.

The months of light sensitivity sucked, as my eyes were effectively open sores.

Even a breeze on my face was rather painful.

But then came the surgery & treatment, where they anesthetized my eye and proceeded to scrape at it with a needle while I had to look on in horror and feel my eyeball pushed up against my skull.

Then for the next month I had to put literal bleach on my eye every 3 hours to sterilize it.

Imagine setting an alarm, putting bleach in your eyes, trying to fall asleep amid the burning, finally falling back asleep just before the alarm goes off again for another drop.

That definitely broke me.

Don’t f*ck around with contacts, kids.”

13. That sounds painful.

“I had a wart on the inside of my nose removed without any type of numbing.

It took two hours.”

14. Thanks for helping.

“I was getting in my car with my dog and my breakfast. I must’ve gotten in at a weird angle because my knee slipped out of place and I went crashing to the ground in pain.

As I got my bearings and tried to fix my leg, my dog just looked at me and ate my breakfast burritos.”

15. Bad timing.

“One time my Irritable Bowel Syndrome got so bad at a party that I had to call my wife to the bathroom to hold my hand because I couldn’t take it any more.

If it had gone on much longer I honestly think I would have passed out.”

Now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us about the worst pain you’ve ever felt.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post People Talk About the Worst Pain They’ve Ever Experienced appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the Worst Pain They’ve Ever Felt

The older I get, the more I hope I don’t suffer any major injuries.

It’s one thing to get hurt when you’re a kid because you know you’ll bounce right back but when you start getting up there in years, it can get pretty dicey and recovery takes much longer.

I think the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life was when I broke my hand when I was 12…and I hope it stays that way…

What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt?

Here’s what folks had to say on AskReddit.

1. Ugh.

“I rolled my foot in a hole (like it made a loud snap) in my driveway and tore my Achilles.

I did a front flip tumble onto the ground, and couldn’t get up. 10/10 worst pain.”

2. It’s not you, it’s me.

“A cluster headache I had once after s*x, like right after.

Put a real dampener on the whole thing and it’s hard to convince a person that the reason you’re up out of bed straight after, groaning in pain and vomiting into the sink, isn’t some kind of personal judgement on them.”

3. Yeah, those hurt.

“I’ve broken a fair amount of bones, including my jaw.

But a kidney stone is the worst pain I’ve ever felt.”

4. Ouch!

“I dislocated my elbow when I was 16 and I wasn’t allowed to have any water or painkillers before they put me under to re set it.

Unfortunately for me, the had to do x rays before hand. This meant moving the dislocated joint into multiple positions for different x rays, none of which were natural.”

5. Those are bad.

“Dry socket after wisdom teeth removal.

Painkillers didn’t help, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat.

Absolutely agonizing.

Hurt worse than breaking my kneecap (which definitely comes in second).”

6. Like a knife.

“Pinched nerves from a broken back

. The best description I can come up with is it was like having a white hot knife blade pulled straight from the forge and plunged into my back.

Pain meds did absolutely nothing to stop it.”

7. Rough stuff.

“UTIs are so awful.

From the first twinge, you know you’re in for hours and hours of pain. Primarily a constant, burning need to urinate. Instead, when you go, it actually going doesn’t bring relief and instead feels like you’re trying to pass razor blades.

I also get very sweaty and tend to vomit.”

8. Painful.

“An abdominal infection from a surgery complications

Had a narcissist stepdad who refused to take me to the doctor. Said I wasn’t taking enough pain medication even though I was bedridden for nearly 8 days and I was supposed to be more or less better by the 3rd. It wasn’t until it was just in unimaginable pain and a high grade fever. So I decided to just start howling and crying so he’d have to take me to the ER.

I had to have a second surgery and a drainage bulb put in because the infection had created a wicked abscess.”

9. Treatment.

“Cancer treatment.

I’ve had needles shoved into my spinal column that made my balls feel like they were in a vice, I’ve had severe vomiting, I’ve had severe mouth rot from mucositis caused by methotrexate that was so painful I couldn’t swallow anything even when taking maximum recommended dosage of oxycodone to the point I hadn’t drank water in 2 days.

I’ve had a fissure in my intestines that made me pass out from the pain while using the bathroom, I had such severe chemo brain I couldn’t comprehend the news, so I had to watch kids cartoons, I forgot how to walk properly for a month.

I had forceful intubation that damaged my vocal chords so severely I wasn’t able to talk for 2 months, and I still have coughing fits from some scar tissue moving around, which is hella inconvenient when you’re out in public and have to explain you ain’t sick, your throat’s just f*cked up.”

10. No way!

“One time I was running my hand along a rough wooden railing on a bridge and turned it at just the wrong angle to catch a massive splinter under my fingernail.

It broke off so the entire thing was lodged underneath all the way back to the nail bed, and there was no part sticking out to grab with tweezers.

I ended up going to the ER and getting surgery to cut my nail open and remove it.”

11. Needles.

“Having blood taken from a vein in my foot

Worse than childbirth.”

12. Ear problems.

“Very severe ear infection.

Felt like my head was gonna explode! My ear had swelled up so bad I couldn’t hear, and the medicine drops wouldn’t go down, had to get the fluid sucked out of my ear and a wick put in. Instantly felt better after.

I’ve been prone since a child to get ear infections but interestingly enough I haven’t had an ear infection since that really bad one.”

13. Sounds absolutely awful.

“Shoulder surgery.

The nerve block they gave me lasted nearly 12 hours after surgery was done. I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in my own tears and felt the most intense, stabbing pain where the anaesthetic had worn off.

Felt like there was a fire in my shoulder.”

14. Terrible.

“Randomly assaulted 8 years ago, got kicked and stomped in the head 6-7 times (rest of the body got worked on as well), massive concussion, three damaged vertebrae (two in the neck one in the back), pinched/jammed nerves and blood vessels all over the back/spine region.

Busted teeth, eyes knocked out, off synch, left arm down to approximately 40% functionality. Lots of stitches.

Took me two years to just be able to sit and have dinner with my parents and not feel like keeling over from nausea due to pain and discomfort.

I’d say I’m 85-90% or so recovered now, concussion is still active, I wouldn’t wish that long never ending pain on anyone.”

How about you?

What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your life?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post People Talk About the Worst Pain They’ve Ever Felt appeared first on UberFacts.

Things That Are Far More Painful Than You Probably Think

One thing I’ve learned since being married to a man is that everyone’s pain tolerance scale is relative. It must be really hard to be a nurse and to figure out if someone is over or under-shooting on their pain unless you know them.

Me, for example? Yes, I wanted an epidural for childbirth and an IV of morphine when I passed kidney stones, but other than that, you have to force pain meds down my throat.

My husband had to spend THREE DAYS in the hospital following his hemorrhoid surgery because he was in pain. The nurses were rolling their eyes so hard I’m surprised they all didn’t end up on the floor, but listen – that’s his pain tolerance. Zilch.

While this means there might be wiggle room on some things, we think that these 15 things are, across the board, far more painful than most people think.

15. I’ve had a headache make me cry.

migraines

14. Having experienced horrible back pain just a couple of times, I can’t even imagine.

Spine injuries and back pain from it are no joke. I have eight herniated discs. When one of those strikes a nerve, literally, it will bring you to your knees.

13. You feel like a total wuss when it’s “just your finger” but yeah, it can be bad.

Finger injuries.

They seem so small and inconsequential compared to other types of injuries and pain, but I once managed to shut (and LOCK) my finger in a car door and discovered a whole new meaning for pain.

I’d always wondered why animals thrash themselves into greater injury when caught in a trap, and boy did I find out. There was no capacity for thought, only blind panic and me flailing wildly like a fish on a line.

I’ve had serious injuries before and since, had major abdominal surgery with a lengthy recovery time, developed repetitive motion injuries, etc, but nothing compares to that, even though it makes me feel like a weenie to say.

12. It hurts to breathe, but you can’t quit.

Breaking a rib. People see it all of the time on TV and think “I can survive that.” Plot twist, you can’t move for a while and when you do it hurts more than you can imagine.

11. Getting one as an adult really makes you sympathize with your kid.

Ear infections. It hurts to move your jaw at all and feels all stuffed up, but you can’t blow it like your nose. Stuff constantly coming out if it. Hurts and the only thing that helps even a little is having a hot compress on it, but the second you take it off it gets worse again. Not fun.

10. Can confirm that kidney stones are in no way a joke (and I hear they’re worse for men).

When I was 19, I was in a car accident. A lifted F-250 (big truck) hit our S-10 (little truck) in my side at 65mph. The frame buckled, which broke the seatbelt, and I went through the window. I bounced off the hood of his truck and rolled down am embankment. I broke basically every bone on the right side of my body, needed physical therapy for years, got a medical discharge from the Naval Academy, had three surgeries on my shoulder and two for plastic surgery to remove glass from my face. After six months my deflated punctured lung was back up to 80% capacity. I get my jackets tailored to have the right arm shorter than the left because of a bone graft.

I would do it all over again to never have another kidney stone.

9. I honestly never want to find out.

Not pooping. Constipation is no joke. I once went about a month without pooping and it was the worst time of my life. It took multiple enemas to get everything going again. Even just a couple days of not farting can hurt like hell.

8. Tooth pain is unholy.

Infected tooth – holy moly

7. I drink SO MUCH WATER in the hopes I will avoid another.

Kidney stones. I have a high threshold for pain, but my third stone was a doozy. First time I’ve puked/passed out from pain. Now I drink lemon water all day for fear of number four.

6. Every parent of a toddler knows this already.

This may sound weird, but being punched, especially in the nose. In movies, people will get punched really hard and just shake it off, but getting punched, even by someone weaker than you, can seriously hurt.

5. I have seen my husband writhing.

IBS anal fissures hemorrhoids

People joke about something burn more in the out than on the at in. But it can truly be horrific. On the ground crying fetal position kinda pain

4. I once spent two straight days on my back or crawling around.

Sciatica

I don’t get it any more, but dear God when I did (for a couple of years from herniated disc) it was agonising. Pain with no purpose (just a squeezed nerve) and painkillers don’t touch it.

3. Way too many people can sympathize with this one these days.

Getting tear gassed. Like it’s not a joke. We had a drill in the army to test if our gas masks worked right and mine didn’t.

2. This is some A+ storytelling.

When I was 27 my left ovary exploded in the middle of sex. One moment things are going fine and the next I’m screaming at my (then) boyfriend, “Get off!! Get off!! get off me!!!” Poor guy.

I wound up lying naked on the bathroom floor in the fetal position doing labor breathing exercises to try to will my way through the pain for about two hours until the immediate pain subsided. That was on Saturday.

Still didn’t feel right the next day and went to the ER and was misdiagnosed with possible appendicitis and sent home. Went to my GP the next day and they referred me to a Gynecologist. The Gyno referred me to get an ultrasound who then finally diagnosed me with a ruptured ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit. So that was three gynecological exams I endured in three days (the one in the ER had med student come in for a gander while I was in the stirrups) before getting any answers. I was getting ready to sell tickets to my cooter.

And to top it all off, this happened about a month after my 29 year old brother had died of testicular cancer so I was of course convinced I had some form of cancer as well and was currently dying. My mother who accompanied me to every doctor visit was of course terrified of losing her only remaining child as well.

In the end I was told there was nothing to do about the ruptured cyst but let the massive pool of blood sitting in my abdomen reabsorb at its own pace and that I might still feel the after effects for months, which of course sucked, but the relief of knowing it wasn’t cancer almost made the pain worth it.

It was about six months before the aching and cramping left and I could sit and stand fully upright

0/10. Do not recommend.

1. More doctors need to understand this, too.

Endometriosis. Doctor thought my flare up was a possible appendicitis or an I didnt know I was pregnant. Trying to pee on sticks in agony is not fun.

Everything between throat and knee caps was bringing me pain. You cant stand, sit or lie. You just writhe.

Do you want to argue any of these? Have something to add?

Let’s continue the discussion in the comments!

The post Things That Are Far More Painful Than You Probably Think appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ People Reveal the Absolutely Dumbest Ways They Hurt Themselves

Think back: what’s the absolutely dumbest way you’ve ever hurt yourself? For me, it was that time I punched my brother in the head and nearly broke my hand in the process. Ouch! Just for the record, I feel terrible about it now…

In this AskReddit article, people admit the stupidest ways they’ve ever hurt themselves.

1. Mooning gone wrong

“In college I went to visit one of my roommate’s hometown. It was a well visited summer destination, with a large lake. We took his Dad’s boat out and proceeded to check out the girls and blast around the lake. Being the smart 19 year old I was, I decided to moon him from the front of the boat. Well, he cut the engine and we hit a cross wake. My bare a** flew over the front. I hit the bottom middle of the boat, twisted, and my bare bum was dragged under the prop, getting cut from the small fin under the blades.

My legs went numb, and my bathing suit was around my ankles. My buds had to help me onto the boat with my junk hanging out. As I regained feeling in my legs, we went to the hospital to make sure not much more than my ego was injured all while my buddy kept asking me if I was going to sue his dad.

I tweaked my story to the nurse, saying I just fell over the front. She suspiciously asked why my bathing suit wasn’t cut up. I told her it was just big and must have fallen down.

Two days later, I had to drive my broken self 8 hours back to school and call off my job for the week (doctor’s orders).”

2. Not too bright…

“My dad had taken me and my siblings to get ice cream. He was pulling into the driveway. I wanted to see what would happen if I opened the door and put my foot on the ground. You get hurt is what happens.

Also grabbed the cord from a hot iron after being told not to about 6 times. Fell on my chest.

Was super hungover another time and tried to plug a cord in. Put my body in a weird position. My left side cramped. Stretched the other way to uncramp it. That side cramped. Then one of my calves cramped. Just had to wait it out and move around like an idiot.

I get off my couch after a nap kind of aggressively. I push myself up with my hand and swing my feet out and under me in one motion. One time they were wrapped pretty right in the blanket. Luckily my face was there to catch my fall.

No idea how I’ve made it to 27.”

3. Stabbed

“At my second grade Christmas concert we were drawing pictures before the show and I accidentally stabbed myself in the head.

Blood everywhere, pencil sticking out of my head I ran to the teacher who of course freaked out and rushed me to the nurse. She yanked it out and gave me a bandaid (this was the early 90s.)

It didn’t really hurt. I got a cool scar and still sang in the Christmas concert.”

4. Clumsy

“I sneezed as I was walking, tripped over a box and then went head first into the wall. My poor anxious father was in the other room and just heard a really loud THUMP followed by me cackling hysterically at my own stupidity. He came running in and I was holding my nose with clear fluid running out, unable to put a coherent sentence together (from laughing too hard).

He was convinced it was spinal fluid for some reason and that I had a concussion. He made me go to the doctor (thankfully not the ER). It was just some runny mucus that got knocked loose from my sinuses.”

5. Bowl in the face

“There was a dirty bowl left in the center my now wife’s coffee table in college. Her roommate had painted the table with the wrong kind of paint which caused everything to stick to it. So I went to pick this bowl up and it was REALLY stuck on there. So in my infinite wisdom I thought to myself ‘I bet I could pick up this entire table holding nothing but the bowl.’

Mind you this table wasn’t light by any means but I gave it a try anyway. I succeeded in lifting the table a good inch or two off the ground when it suddenly gave way, causing me to slam the bowl directly into my face. I still have a unibrow scar from that incident.”

6. Eye injury

“When I was like 13 I was stripping some cables with a pair of scissors to rewire a table lamp with a longer cable. Being a dumb little sh*t, I stripped by applying force in a face-ward direction. When the cable casing let go, my hand flew towards my face, jabbing the very tip of the scissors into my eyeball.

When this happened, time slowed into the most serious bullet time I’ve ever experienced, and I could feel the scissors hitting three distinct layers as it went in. Like how it feels when you cut an onion, and you can sort of feel the layers of the onion, right?

Anyway, it was just left of the iris. No damage was done and it just stung for like a few hours with a tiny blood dot as the only proof it ever happened and then it was good as new. Scared the sh*t out of me.”

7. I’m too young to die…

“Used to work at a recycling plant and everyday 1 hour till the end of our shift we had to clean up.

So I was sweeping the concrete floor with those long, fuzzy brooms. After 20 minutes of sweeping I’m getting bored of looking busy so I set the end of the handle in between my chest and continue walking while simultaneously pushing the broom.

As I’m sweeping like an idiot on the smooth concrete, I hit a worn out portion of concrete where it’s rough and jagged and the end of the handle comes flying up and hits me right in the throat.

I can’t breath for what seems an eternity and I’m thinking to myself I’m too young to die.

Realistically, after 5 seconds I was fine.”

8. Right in the nuts

“You know how when you put a comforter on a bed you kind of whip it from the edges to make it fall into place? I whipped it so hard that the wave crest of the comforter hit the chain cord for the ceiling fan, which was on. The chain cord had a weighted ball at the end that swung up into the spinning ceiling fan. The weighted ball broke off the chain and became a projectile that nailed me in the testicles hard. I dropped to the ground immediately and was in pain for a solid day.”

9. Face first

“As a kid I was running to hide from someone around the corner of a brick wall, so that I could jump out and scare them. I turned around to check if they were behind me while simultaneously starting to run around the wall. I undershot my turn, so when I looked back in front of me I was staring face first at the corner of the wall running full speed. That was the first time I had to get stitches.”

10. That poor penis

“Not me, but my husband burnt his peen on a plug in heater. My dog bumped past it and it fell while my husband was freshly naked and about to get dressed from taking a shower.

The metal heating plate on it was a honey comb pattern so it basically branded that pattern on his penis. The E.R. nurses kept coming in to see what was I’m sure to them entertaining and strange injury. It was hilarious aside from his understandably and excruciating pain.

Luckily for my husband his E.R. doctor was male and made sure the pain was taken care of. The doc was just covering his manhood in horror while trying to maintain composure. That was an interesting night.”

11. Ouch

“Literally stepped out of bed while talking on the phone and breaking one foot, simultaneously spraining the other one.”

12. Yes

“You ever try and pull the blankets up and end up punching yourself in the head? That.”

13. Rabbit attack

“Stuck my finger in a rabbit cage at a friend’s house and had one of my finger nails get chewed off.

Also walked around my house looking through binoculars backwards and walked straight into a wall, getting two black eyes in the process.”

14. Accident prone

“As a kid I kneed myself in the face and knocked out my front teeth trying to crawl through a play tube. A few months ago I threw out my back blowing my nose.”

15. Flesh wound

“Forgot I was holding a plastic butter knife, went to scratch my eye and somehow cut my fuckin upper lip and started gushing blood.”

The post 10+ People Reveal the Absolutely Dumbest Ways They Hurt Themselves appeared first on UberFacts.

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